I
THE MILKY WAY.
. Over tn Milky Way,'
The hwIimh HlndiMMiald.
UiiHtkin bj lluhl of lny,
i To SwrtrH g (he dead.
AluiiK It uInmiiIiik reach,
Hrt wee ih' ethereal poles,
When Varna uaflR thorn, each
Must tread ilia bridge of souls.
Over the Milky Way,
Hang Orenlaa poets old
Oiuw, driven far astray,
The sun's red chariot rolled.
And each Olympian god
That same wild path above
With winged sandals trod
Up to the thmne of Jove. ,
Over the Milky Way,
The imrthmeu tell with pride,
Aa ray meet answering- ray
Kulahnild met his bride.
Lonely In heaven afar.
His love's resistless might
1 Built out, with star on atar,
That viaduct of light.
Over tbe Milky Way
Our later fancy rune
With aulonoe' self at play
Among Its nuute of nuns,
Whore reamn can divine,
Ab sage wisely guess,
Those Uilckererhsuntltna
The txMtnfci wilderness.
Remoteness Infinite,
Where eight Its course mar OTga,
Where thoaaht may fearlese flit,
And tmnib creation's vorgel
But swifter fait o'erleaiw
Tbe farness of the spheral
To where Uod's splendor sweeps
Thm'sril th' eternal years.
Bta love yon pathway high
Built to life summit laud.
And bade this emblem sky
Tell us. who longing stand,
Aa Mam In omint leas sum
One stream of light protons,
There Joys en frequent come
They niftlfe one all day song.
Afc.aot In vain for hope,
And not In vain for me.
That lane up heaven's blue onpt
Trail Its white nebulae
laeeithe same eyes glow
That looked whore Jaooblay,
And the same glad wluge-go
Over the Milky Way.
-Tberon lirown In Youth? Companion.
OCTETS 'DIVORCEMENT.
Tbe Temples' cook was from the coun
try, and 'It wiim the surprise of Mr. Tem
ple's nouthorn life that she was such e good
cook.
She -explained It wry lucidly, "Law, 1
know otheap ou'y I done furgot ICT"
Evidently at Home period in berHfe she
bad cooked for a table of some pretensions.
Every now and then a moat unexpected ac-oamplislimeiit-Wfluld
anil Into oar admira
tion. Thus, once she broke outt "My mars
terl Mis' Temple, fo' de Lawd, dut ar
owumnmas r -yourn, dot ain't noways dif
Iruirt ito my ole missus' white aa 'aept
like you all don' put no cream in youro.
But ye orlpHee de butter jen de same."
Another time, "Scallop inters? d pinted
ry -kin, Mia Temple. Altera don wallop
4b kners fo' old mine."
Indeed the suggested a number of new
viands to Mrs. Temple general lytrom tbe
Crying pan, but toothsome and ddHcnte.
She brought her only child witb her, a
Inn, brown tad of fourteen, who waited on
table better than we feared from hid first
Appearance, at which be bruited tbe
ermnbsoff with the hearth broom tin to the
dustpan. He wua his mother's -pet and,
ooneidering that fact, a marveloualy (rood
darky, almost Industrious, and nhe beat
tempered boy in the world.
We were not long in discovering Aunt
Victory's history. One eveniug we 'found
her at the smallest kitchen tulUe, with
Berne and tbeslute, plainly gettiugatlesson.
"TVhy, Aunt Victory, can yon eadr''
aid Mrs. Temple,
"Yes'm," with a smirk of hottest pride,
while 'Kerne added; "Maw, she kin tvead a
right smart. I learned her."
"How nice! Then you can rend the
Blblef"
Op went Aunt Victory's braids in a toss:
"Laws, Mis' Temple, 1's outer de Bible an'
Inter de newspapers!"
"And ! writes fo'tbe newspapem," says
Berne with an indescribable airof haughti
ness. "He does so," said his mother. "Ain't
yon never seen de Mosaic Templet" We
admitted .our Ignorance, "Weltiw does
write regllar fo1 Out."
"Andyou like Itf"
"Yes.-mnlam, I like living In tart city.
BntoiawJlikes the country better."
"Yes'm, yes'in. Yon all got niightygran'
house yere, but gimme de kentryY'
See was one of those nut-brown Africans
that have hair long enough to bruid. To
night her bead was covered with a red
bandanna, drawn out square oomered
back of her ears, giving her a queer ossein
blanee to the sphinx. Flluging herself for
ward on the table .with a Bupple, sinuous
motion that few uugroes get too old to ase,
she let her head fntliinto the open palm .of
.one baud, -above thetbont elbow, and as she
talked thk'sphlnxilke head rolled la bar
band like a ball in a.oup. "Oh, de kentry
wid de wswin' flora u'de red birds dot
comes a peek'pookin' at de winder an' de
darkies a-anatchiti' cotton, an'seohaheap
rrooml Ok, de kentry am so pleasurefull
I'se tlmersoue in de eity, got (' cyar'
Berne longer me If I goes out in de night.
But in de kentry 1 run(imy little fyarin
an I's got my two mules Mis' Carrol give
me. Las' year we uns did make five hun
dred dollars. Done sal When I paid out
t' de sto' dar beo huttdord an' fifty-five dol
lars comin t' me."
"An It all ben atolel" Interrupted Beme
In a lugubrious tone.
"Nev' you mine 'bout dut, Rome San
dersl Datoome longer bavin' no purtecter,
dat buocoraedat."
A more sullen took than I had ever seen
on Reme's handsome brown face answered
this speech. He pushed back his chair,
muttering something about going to the
office, quite witb tbe white man's air, and
so smuggled himself out of the lesson or
further convention. Rather to our sur-
Erlse his mother made no effort to detain
Im.
"My, mylM she gurgled In the negro fash
ion, swaying herself to and fro, "dat boy
cay n't b'ar a word 'bout me nesdin' a man
t' look out to mel Now be are gono off
wrlu' so roCj an' won't have a word t' soy
fo' a wbolii day. He's tempered Jes' like
he pftWisulls twel be gits olier It.
I asked Aunt Victory if Heme's father
was dead, "Ijiwm, no," said she. "Has
he left you?" said Mrs. rem pie.
"He has dut,"
"And doean't Kerne want yon to let blm
eome book)'' I
Aunt Victory rubbed her right ear I
against her right shoulder with a coquet
tish gesture, and for the llrw nine I real
ized that, accord lug to African notions, she
was a pleaslug woman. " Well, sirl Why,
Miss Freddy, 'taint my ole man Kerne
'jeuts to, 'cose uotl Hit am de torrer gen
tleman." We were too used to negro morality to
either feel or show ny particular surprise.
But it seen ieut to Inquire whether
the departed Husband was divorced from
her. No, ot course he was not That was
why she hod come to the Rock, as the Ar
kansanKcall Little Rock.
"I gwine get a divorcement fo' fo'ty dol
lar de lawyer man say," she explained,
"done guv 'im t'irty dollar a'ready. Den
I go bock t de kentry. I pin ted ly does
rave t' be In de kentry agin."
"But It's suob bard work, Vlotory!" I
ttggestnd, loatb to see a promising cook
depart.
Hard wukl Taint nuffln t' de stove
vnk. Gimme my hoe an' my row an' I'se
happy. An' laws, Missy, it do pear like I
caynt breve In dis yere shut up town.
Ain't no snnshlne yere. I does love de
sunshine. All culled folks jes' natcbelly
drinks up de sun.'
It was easy to learo her story when she
was In such a mood. Sitting at ease, alone
with us, lu the kitchen (for Nando, tbe
chambermaid, was at a colored ball), she
poured out her whole humble tragedy,
Tbe ole Miss who bad "raised" her and
taught ber to cook bad died. After her
death she married a negro, and they went
to "muklng a crop" on tbe plantation,
This negro, Uge by name, accepting ber
picture, was a very decent man. "Yent
mever seen de like er Lige t' wuk. He
raise de blgges orapon de place an be cyar
so much mischief wid f too, I does jes' be
laffld' all de time. An' be done ben pint
edly kind t' me, 1 says dat fo' him, an'
nev' did fault bis vietuulh. Allers so proud
er my cookin' w'eu we all hoe a festival or
a log rollln'I Yus'm, we did give a featival
onct au' made ten dollars." Perhaps 1
should explain that negro festivals are
purely private affairs, wherein hospitality
Unexercised at a profit instead of expense,
since the thrifty host sells the refresh
nienut, after which is dancing at less pious
houses, and games at the houses of "pro
fessors." At log rollings, however, Abe dinner is
provided by the host Tbe iogrollerslear
the ground of felled trees, which they cofi
lect in heaps for burning.
As Victory's memory recalled tbe days
of her past domeatie joys .astd social brl
amps we oould see that site was moved.
"Yeas'm, Lige nev' did give we hah
wads,' Nev' did mine his bastd agin me"
so she continued, rocking her aupple body
to and fro "onltes' ting i have agin .bis
behavior, den, I tea he did be o :f artier
own an possum turattu'. Mos' du on&ies'
time! ever giveo him a wut blank hard
time ueu de time be 'stated on gwine pos
sum buutin' an' trhtlHt he ben gone. dot
boy, my (ustis chile, ben basro. Oh, I tell
ye, LigB he whs struck by dtl He did jes'
cry out load; an' he name dat baby Re-
morse.neddd, kuaet liar 'im in mine alius,
an' he didn't go 'poNouin htuitiii' for1 arter
rible longapeil, not tweel I ay I ikhider
enivin 'possum meat myaeu. uh, be did
ben a good man t' me.
"I'se sorter high strung am' teery, an'
w'en de stave didut buke right, m it irain
wuHhday, or my lingers git eo numb mok
lu' cotton dot I caynt sew like j luster, twliy
1 does be sorter ill like; hut, ilwws, he lies'
laff an' coax it outer me. Hon de Ttecrer
two ohiilen cotne an' die.4' Her ifoce
changed and quivered, "lie hen mis;hty
kind to we.dein tibM9H,"she naid. ifior .a
little space he was silent, -then with a
burdemngof her mellow voioelttiwout.on,
"We got on due fo' amwiJ. Me unMjige,
we una done ben raised by white iolks-we
ain't no niggers, we done mnk .It yard an'
'sess a heap o goods, an' live eo huppy an1
feel so proud not biggatr, ges' bones'
proud tweil My Uawdr' look .of .an
guish Keen enough to startle tta oame.over
her face while the swift flowf her .words
was broken .by a sudden sob .and ehe coiv
ered her face with her baud &ud soreamed,
"0 my Lawd, .be lef mel Ue done ititkon
up wid a ulgger 'omaur
Then just as.auddenly she lifted her head.
dried her eyes aud said: "But by'a-by Lige
he get tired o' her. He ben raised by white
folks, au' he come a beggiu' back to me to
take'im tnr
"And you took him backf" asked Mrs.
Temple.
The sphinx-like bead was raised again
with Indescribable pride. Victory's grand
father was aa African prince, tbe told us
once, and 1 can well believe her.
"Me taken him back I Mis' Temple, I beo
raised by white folks, lie leff me fo' a
block (nigger. I newer take him back!"
"But ihow did he happen to do such a
wicked itlungf" said Kate Temple.
"Howil.know!" sullenly, "she live down
de ribher, whar he go possum buntin', an'
she gaylr young ting au' au1 dey call hei
mighty tuhrnsonie; an1, some way, she 'tice
him off. tie been too Ahamed come nigh
me, but be een' wud dat he give me de
mules an' ewr'ting, cep' only huuderd dol
lars he have .at de sto'. An' so he light
out, but be nev' did git no atiafautiou liv-
ta' wid her. It lie oudu't no mo1 oook a
meal o vituats duiu she cud matoh me pick
lo'teottoo, an1 she taken t' gois on mighty
bad wid torrer niggers; bo dey panted, an'
Lige came straight t' me. Mist' Thorn p
son, he say Lige done make mighty sho' he
git we back. Huh imlir
I somehow inferred from her conscious
air that Thompson was the other man lu
the case. 1 asked her, and she admitted
tin hew. "He was a mighty pleasant,
good man," preacher, with a gift for
prayer, and all the sisters Admired him.
I said, "But didn't it ever occur to you.
Victory, that Mr, Thompson might be a
prejudiced witness against banders?"
"How dat, Misayf"
"Ha wants to marry you himself, you
know; mightn't he tell lies about UgeP"
"No'm. He's a plumb good man. Dar
alnt no slob pray in like burn In de kentry.
B done nab a ravivaJ w'iigioo sent be
ooma,"
"But hasn't he another wife some
where?" said Kate, who has cynical no
tions about negro pastors.
"Dat jes' Rente's meanness!" declured
Aunt Victory vehemently. "Brer' Thomp
son swar t' me dat jes' de talko'demor
nery, pusillanimous niggers In Dogtown,
datwudu't give nuflin t'de chu'eh. Me
an' Heme, we give five dollars. Oat Reme,
he is a good boy, but I'se consorned about
him, kose he won't got' meetm's mirt'
chu'eh nur nuftiu an1 says dat Mist'
Thompson ain't a mor'l man. He is prej-
deeced, dat all, Mis' Temple. Dat story 1
'bout Sal Miller alnt got wud o' truff in it.
She got t' swar datar baby on stime buddy,
an' so she taken po1 Brr' Thompson dot
aint skacely pahted lipdwid her. He say
he skacely seen her. Aint nare critter
'cent Rume Sanders does believe It. An'
he believe anytiug on earth agin Brer'
Thompson. I knows Kerne; be jes' aimtn'
de plumb w'lle, git me take bis paw back!"
"But could youf Would he comer" said
my artful friend'
Victory's great eyes flashed. "He done
come ev'ry month, ober t' see me from
Newport, In de cyars, an' walk out six
mile, fo' seben months pleadin' wid mel"
said Victory, "look like he aint 'jectin'."
"Don't you think yon could forgive
hlmr"
Victory's handsome face hardened again.
wDe fust time 1 say t' him: 'Lige Sanders,
1 ain't gwine take you back fo' my husband
twell de sun drop! Yon git outer my
bonsel' Dut bow I talk t' him. An' be go
off mighty down, wid Rente. Nex' time, 1
says, 'I dont want no wnds wid ye, Mist'
Sanders.' but 1 let him come in speak wia
Rerae, kase he did set a heap o' store on
Berne, an' Reme on him. An' byraeby he
got t stayin' longer an' den Heme wud
hab him stay t' dinner. An' Mist' Thomp
son Bay he make his braggs er dat, an'
nay I ben turnin' my mine t'him. Dat
rile me. But de las' time w'en become, he
done shaved his beard an' took so likede
Lige 1 married dat" she flung" out a
clinched hand to strike her breast furious
lysomething hot come vp dar, mindin
me o' all dera times t'gedder an' de li'le
dead chillen au' all, an' 1 ben fair choked.
So I hilt my baid mighty bovisb like, an'
marched outer de house, nev' passiu' a
wnd wid him. An' d nex' day i done rent
de house oV nil t' Brer' Thompson fo' him
ma'correr culledman wot batches t'gedder,
t' keep twell I come back, an' I drawed out
my money dat 1 got MT t' de sto'; an' I
come on yeere. 1 dome pronimus Mist'
Thompson 3 git a divorcement fum Lige."
44 And promised him, 1 dare say, to marry
hira afterward," said &.
But Victory drew herself up proudly:
"No'm, I -doesn't go -so easy. I only done
prommne git divorcement fum Lige. J
show Lige 1 don't nebber furgive him!"
We 'both surmised that it was more an
ger agotnst the erring Lige than love for
Thompson (whom -we unreasonably dis
liked) that was at the bottom of Victory's
motivea.
Prom this time. our sympathies were en
tirely with the husband. Reme declared
that Thompson stdle bis mother's money.
!He 'knew about the hiding place. "She
wouldn't tell me where she hid it," says
Beme, witb Indignation, "but she owned
up she-told him.
There had bfeo suspicions of Thompson,
it appearea, In regard to some church
moneye that were 'hi bis bands, Ob, yes,
Heme .'admitted, he had paid the money
back, "but not until after they had lost
their Kittle hoard.
"I know maw, ahe sets store by paw,
till; m $ Reme, "otrt thin fellow talks so
-smooni tie's rntr bewitched ber. I did
wrifcelio paw where-we beu, and Tm bopin'
he'll git round. I nmrt him all the money
maw fet me keep outer my wages and my
gripsT1
Thegrips, 1 suppose, were Reme's tips,
which 'be received on "various occasions.
"Waw'll gft ber 'divorcement in two
weciks, she says,' Rente went on gloomily,
"and he lows to go "back t' the country
right -etrait. but 1 ain't going with ber if
you all will keep me.
Rome's prediction -came true. With a
profusion of thanks for our kindness, vic
tory gave us warning. "She was going back
in three weeks to ber own house. We
couldn't complain as 'furas we were con
cerned, especially as site had bunted up a
newicook of great gifts in sauces and sal
ads (according to her former employer).
neat, industrious, indeed lacking little of
perfection except a good temper.
Reme, on this official-confirmation, as it
vwereydHuB fears, became a walkiug statue
-of gloom. It wius at this period that be
'broke aWoyal Worcester plate and three
'out glass wineglasses, -all of which of
tCouFse just slipped from his hands while
ihe "wasn't doing nothing." His misery
over the wreek was such that Kate hadn't
the heart (to scold him. i
He'cameito us later and begged Rate not
ito take any money out of lbis wages, due
itbe next day.
"Maw, she-said you'd keep 'most all," he
whimpered, ' 'cause they'reche nicest kind
of dishes and. cost a terrible sight, she says.
But if yon!d please not this mouth, J'll
sure work forwon all next month."
Kate reassuimd him. She wasn't gohic
to take 'lys money, but why was he so anx
ious to have the wages this mouth P
Then Kerne 'Confessed that his father wo
in town, and o was Mr. Thompsou.-
"And Thompsoii, he's all fixed iup," cried
Reme, uout of our money. In a black
preacher coat and a silk hat. Oh, 'he look,
mighty fine. But paw docs look pint
blank gaehly. Yon .see, Mrs. Temple, ht
did beu sick ever sence he wf nt home the
last time, and the house where be ben
burned dowu and he float his good clothes
and ever' cent r moaiey, and now be'
come here, all ragged, aimin' to git somt
work and some clothes and make it up tt
maw. And I don't wuntanawt' seehimall
in his rags and Thompson strutting round
In his high hat. So 1 waswekoning I'd bu
him some clothes."
- We sympathized with Heme, but as il
turned out our sympathy came to naught
Either Victory's lawyer got the divorce
sooner than he expected, or Victory her
self found the money sooner; Anyhow, b
few evenings later Kate came to me to saj
that Thompson was calling on Victory.
at once wanted to look At a new expert
ment in puddings, left in the "aold closet,'
to reach which one must pass through the
kitchen.
True enough, there sat a smug faced, six
foot negro, gleaming all over, in a bluok
broadcloth, with a gorgeous gold watcfc
chain and dazzling linen. f
Victory would not let us pass without in
troducing him.
It was at this moment that there came s
timid kind of half hearttd knock at tht
door.
Victory opened it and absolutely stag
gered back. "My Lawd, Lige!" sk
creamed, "whut's got yer"
Lige indeed it was, and a forloner specta
cle than he presented is difficult to picture.
He looked sick and wretched, and hh
clothes were no.better than rags. What
contrast to the resplendent Thompson!
"Yes, Vict'ry, it's me," said poor Lige.
1 know I ain't fit t' come t' see ye In sicfa
close, but I did wanter see ye so bod!"
"All Victory said was, "Mymyl mymy-i
Ligel"
By this time for half unconsciously Vic
tory had opened tbe door Lige had sham
bled into tbe circles of light. He saw;
Thompson. As if by magic his humilitj
was rent from him. Rislimpformstralght
ened. Head erect and eyes burning ht
shook his fist at the preacher.
"You black nigger! is you dArin' com
twixt me an' my wifeP"
Manda, who was on the other Bide of tht
table, an admiring listener to Brothei
Thompson's eloquence, jumped up with
cream.
"You hush!" said Victory quietly, "don't
ye be skeered up, Mandy, he won't do no
harm!" She turned herself to Lige witb
actual dignity: "Who you ta'kin' 'bout,
Mist' Sanders Not me. I ain't no wifr
er yourn. I got my bill o' divorcement dis
very day."
Lige gasped. The tears rolled to bis eyes.
"Onyhow. she aint aimin' to demean her
self to a low down, tramoin' nigger like
yon," said Thompson, from his glistening
height of broadcloth, "Miss Vict'ry lows t'
become the bride of a gentleman in the
nerfession" -
A swift blow from Lige's fist knocked
the rest of tbe sentence out of time.
Like a tiger Lige flew at the white shirt
bosom and the gorgeous watch chain.
But, weakened by illness, be was no match
for the brawny preacher, who knocked him
half across the kitchen.
Manda tittered.
"Ston!" cried Mrs. Temnla MViato
topi'.' Heeding her no uiore than the
wind, as Lige, bleeding but undismayed,
dashed again at Thompson, Victory her
self flung tbe dish towel tight over Thomp
son's unsuspecting bead, pulling from be
hind with such force and fury that, thus
harassed in tbe rear, he made a misstep
and all three went down together, under 1
Lige's onslaught.
"Git you' raior, Ligel" shrieked Victory.
"Yea let my husband Hone or he cut you
wid a razor!"
X believe that It was quite as much tbe
bewildering effect of Victory's conduct as
Mm. Temple's commands that sent a calm
on the turmoil.
Thompson crawled to his feet and glared
at Lige, alsoon his feet, flouriBhinga razor,
while Victory panted, supporting herself
by the table, and Mandy called on the po
lice out of tbe dining room door, as if they
were hidden up stairs.
Reme'B appearance at this moment ra
ther helped the confusion, since he sup
posed the house to be afire and ran to tbe
water faucets.
"What does all this mean, Victory?"
Kate demanded, as soon as she had sup
pressed Mandy.
"Hit mean dat 1 aint gwine hub no block
nigger sass my husband!" answered Vic
tory. "Mist' Thompson, sah, 1 bids you
good day fo' eber ;no'. An' I b'liebes ever
word Reme done tell me gin ye," she cries
pitefully.
"I shall have to ask yon to leave too,"
i&dded Kate.
In vain Thompson begged Victory to
think of the past and ber promises.
"I didn't prommus you nary!" cried Vic
tory in high wrath. "I nev' said like I'd
marry you. I said I'd git a divorcement
ifum Lige, an' a big fool I ben t do it; but
I done it.
"May be," snarled the goaded Thomp-
son, "you didn't prommus you'd never
take Lige banders back fo' your bus-
Uand"
"Well, I ain't taken bim back," came
the reply, with a toss of Victory's head anil
a roll of Victory s eyeballs; fo' de lnwd,
'I gwine marry him fresh. Oat whut 1
igwme dot'
"Lawd bless you, Victory!" cried Lige,
"I sho did reckon you turn me loose, w'en
ye see me in dem po' ragged does an' him
-so fat au sassy.'
"Yes, on de money be stole from us!'"
flhouted Reme, who was for having his our
m the matter.
"Lige you a fool sbo'l" retorted Victory,
"aint I jes' ben had my hairt turned t' ye
longer dem po' does de minnit 1 seen ye,
ye did look so distressed! An' w'en be be
gun a pickiu' on ye, looked like I cudn't
bar de sight er him."
0h, laws, Vict'ry!" gasped Lige.
Thompson gave his former mistress a
murderous glance; but he fished his bat
from under the table, and muttering a
kind of apology to Mrs. Temple went out
with Mandy.
Perhaps Mandy consoled him. Kate and
I thought it well to follow his example by
ourselves. There is nothing more to say
except that on the following Wednesday
Aunt Victory baked ber own wedding
cake. Octave Thauet and Lura N. Brown
in New York Herald.
Whj Some Marriages are Failures,
One reason why marriage is so often a
failure is that the average man falls in love
with a woman because she bus two or
three of tbe qualities which he attributes
to the ideal womun, and never gets over
blaming ber afterward because she doesn't
have the rest. Women dou't make any
Buch mistake. They don't expect to find
in the average man any of the qualities
possessed uy their ideal, and they are very
seldom disappointed, Somerville Journal,
He Cotcliad Hiin.
Colonel Bluff You might as well ac
knowledge that you stole the chickens.
ancle. I found a piece of the brown coat
you wore that uigut in the hen shed.
Uncle Ebon (triumphantly) Now, I
ootcb you, colonel. 1 didn't w'or a brown
coat dat night. Puck.
Henry H. Smith, the journal clerk of the
national house or representatives, is con
sidered the most able legislative expert in
tne country, and his knowledge ot parlia
mentary law is unexcelled, lie has held
bis tUAita tor fcwanLv soara -
GETTING RID OF BORES.
A Pretty Girl's Mnthod of Nullifying Hv
Own Attractiveness,
No observer of feminine beauty can fall
to see that its happy possessors are harass
ed. It was remarked to a particularly'
handsome girl that she must often In ant
object of admiration for men who possess'
ed no attraction for ber, and, as she won
very tender hearted, she must find It diffi
cult to discourage their attentions without
being guilty of hardheartednese. She
laughed and replied: - .
"Yes, it is very difficult at times to get
rid of men you don't like and not hurt
their feeli ngs, I found out a novel method
for doing this some little time ago, and In
some coses it work to a charm. You may
know that It Is often the case with men
that they have strong dislikes for certain
things to eat, for certain odors, and lor cer
tain sod songs. The first thing 1 do now
when I am burdened with attentions from
a man who bores me Is to find out If he baa
weakness of this sort. 1 don't ask him
myself, but have a friend draw him into a
confession. Now, it is positively true that
I have scared away men by the methods or
associating myself In their minds either
with the food, odor or music that onends
them.
'One man who could not possibly be dis
couraged by my frigid manner had, I ascer
tained, a horror of sweetbreads. The sighs
of sweetbreads being eaten by people about
him upset him completely; in fact, it made
him ill. Well, we have supper Instead of
dinner at 6 o'clock on Sundays, and, as it
is informal, some of our- friends who may
be calling late in the afternoon will often
ait down witb us. The man who bored me
in this case found out that by calling at
5:30 on Sundays he would receive the neces
sary invitation when the supper hour
found him there, and as this allowed him
a good opportunity to be in my company a
very long time be settled down to the reg
ular custom of coming to our Sunday Bup
pers. I got very tired, for he was really
dreadfully uninteresting, and he liked me
most unpleasantly, so I set myself to find
out if he disliked intensely any particular
dish. To my great joy I learned of his an
tipathy to sweetbreads.
"The next Sunday night we of course
had sweetbreads, and the way that man
suffered was the fuuniest thing you ever
saw. He stood it, though, and nibbled at
a crust of dry toast and sipped clear tea to
keep at his post The next Sunday he
came again, and when more sweetbreads
appeared he almost fainted. Then, in the
most natural manner, I told him that 1
adored sweetbreads, and I bod decided they
were just the thing for Sunday night Bup
pers. That was the end of him. He never
came to the bouse again except to make a
short formal call.
"Then another man who pestered me
with attentions abominated the smell of
peppermint. He simply could not remain
In the room where the odor was. I imme
diately developed a wonderful appetite for
peppermint candy, and there was invarior
bly a box of it about when tbe bore called.
I finished him Boon.
"Another hod the habit of calling in the
evening, and always staid interminably.
I was at a loss bow to get rid of him until,
quite by chance, I learned that the sweet
song of Tosti's called 'Good by" bad tbe
effect of depressing that man so that he
was ready to commit suicide. It really af
fected him seriously, and after hearing ib
he was despondent for hours. I at once
had my mother grow inordinately fond of
Tosti's "Goodby," and whenever the bore
called she asked me if I wouldn't please
sing her favorite song. I had only to do
this three times when the bore ceased hia
calls. Now of course these plans wilt not
answer in every cose, but it is well for girls
to know them, for occasionally they can
be called into play."-ew York Sun.
Two Clever Women Thwarted.
The other day two women entered one of
those dry goods store restaurants which
have recently sprung into being, aud seat
ing themselves ut a table asked the wait
ress to bring the bill of fare. One tinme'
diately hastened to say that she didn'tcare
for anything. The other wanted a cup oi
tea. As soon as it was brought she tasted
it and exclaimed:
"Dear me, this is altogether too strong.
Bring me a cup of hot water, please."
The waitress brought the water and then
went away. As soon as ber back wag
turned the woman, smiling to her friend,
began to manipulate the cup of tea and
tbe cup of water. First she put a little
water in the tea, and then a little tea into
thewater.until finally the two were evenly
divided, and lo! instead of one there were
two cups of tea. Of course her friend, who
did not want anything the moment before,
was now ready to take some tea, and two
cups of tea were secured for the price ot
one. At leant that was what the women
thought until they came to pay the check,
when they found upon the bill of fare this
Item:
"One cup of hot water, b!x cents."
As the tea was only eight they really
aved two cents. New York Sun.
Counting a Billion.
What is a billiouf The reply is very
simple a million times a million. Thfc
Is quickly written, and quicker still pro
nounced. But no man is able to count it.
You count 160 or 170 a minute; but let us
suppose that you go as far as 300, then an
hour would produce 12,000; a day 388,000,
and a year, or 3ti5 days, 105,130,000. Let us
suppose now that Adam, at the beginning
of his existence, hod begun to count, hod
continued to do so, and was counting still,
he would not even now, according to the
usually supposed age of our globe, have
counted near enough. For to count a
billion he would require 0,512 years, 843
days, fi hours and HO minutes, accord
ing to tbe above rule. Supposing we
were to allow a poor counter twelve hours
daily for rest, eating and sleeping, he would
need 19,036 years, .319 days, 10 hours and
46 minutes.
Suburban Colorings.
Artist(with elevated eyebrows) HumphI
You've been having your house painted, I
see.
Suburban Host (proudly) Yea. Looks
gay, don't she? . . ..
Artist (with cutting irony) Why flidn't
you put on more colors?
Host (apologetically) The store I weni
to only had six colon. New York Weekly,