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About The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 6, 1888)
s V i MR. AND MrtS. BOWSER. A bom what F.sasiirrstint; fcsusrlsaee ; With Thro Un of I'nlntare. : Four werks ago Mr. Bowser began to behAro hi a strnuga manner. I no ticed him looking at the ontsnle of tho house from the front and buck, ac companied by strange, men, and from my open window I heard tlnem talking about "modern colors," "meadow green" and other mysterious things. It was not until I found a board in the back yard with half a dozen colors of fresh aint on it that I suspected any thing. Then I asked Mr, Bowaert i "You can't be thinking of having any painting done around here this spring?" ! "I think the cornice ought to be touched up a little." I "But we had every thing painted a year ago, and you said it would stand .for ten years." . i "If I said so it will, but the style of color has changed this year, and I guess I'll have a man for two or three days." ' "And you'll have us all In a muss for the next month. Mr. Bowser, can't von let this house alone for a day or twoP" He ave me a look of deepest re proach and turn away. I had begun to feel sorry for my expression when a wagon load of poles drove Into the al ley. It had not yet unloaded when art another wagon loaded with paint-bedaubed ladders diwe up. Then came a dray on which there were kegs and buckets and cans and brushes, and I was compelled to realize that Mr. Bow ser was going to paint. The cook had also seen the outfit, and she presently came in to me and asked: "Are yon goin0 to have the painters around here? "les, Hannah, Mr. Bowser pro poses to touch up tho cornice a little. "And he may touch up an intent gence office while he is about it, for I won t stars We ve been papering. cleaning, putting down carpets, sod ding the back yard, oiling the wood work and doing something or other for the last six months, and I m tired out. It is now thirty-one seconds to five o'clock. At sharp five 1 leave the house!" She was as good as her word, and when I told Mr. Bowser of her goiug. and related the cause, he indignantly replied: "Mow I'll paint the barn and fence to boot see if I don't! I'll show that girl that she can't run this family while our name continues to be Bowser. Next morning the painters went to work. That is, they didn't exactly go to work. They came and sat around in the burn and smoked, and some of 'em feebly stirred away at the paint-pots, and some more of 'em looked at the house and inquired of each other when Mr." Bowser got out of the lunatic asy lum. Next day the force of painters was increased by three, and they got two ladders up, pounded some putty into three or four nail holes and stirred up seven or eight colors of paint Along towards supper time one of the crowd toiled up one of the ladders in a weary, despondent way, jabbed at one tf the brackets with a brushful of paint, aud the others stood off to examine the effect and give their criticisms. It seemed to be a very delicate operation. Some of them kept walking backwards to get a better squint until they walked out of sight, and others had to sit down on the grass and light their pipes and rest their eyes by looking at the hired girl next door. On the third day Mr. Bowser re mained at home, and the men dug holes all around the house to set their poles got up a scaffold to work on and almost finished painting one bracket. They might hare wholly finished it if they had agreed on colors. Some of 'em wanted the bracket of a lilac color, with the background a dull drab, and others stuck for something more lively or more aesthetic. Mr. Bowser said he would consult the old masters, and seven drops of rain de scended from the heavens just in time to let the men off at four o'clock. When they had gone I found seven windows smeared with paint, a pane of g'ass broken and the knobs of six doors "touched up" in the latest Paris style. The painters are with fts yet. Not those painters, but some others. The first gang lasted two days. Then Mr. Bowser suddenly asked the man who seemed to be the foreman at least he loafed away the most time what they were doing to earn their money. "This isu't a job to be rushed!" calmly replied the man. "If we should get one of these seventeen delicate col "mai tTf place of another your house would be ruined." Mr. Bowser reduced the delicate colors to fourteen, and hired a new gang. In the course of a week this new lot managed to plant forty-eight big daubs on the penciled brick work, break three windows, daub over three oiled doors and ruin half our clothes, and Mr. Bowser advised them to turn to landscape work. The third gang is still with us. All the scaffolding has finally been put in place, and the lad ders leaned up against the house, and all the neighborhood covered with paint-pots and brushes. Wlien the brackets had been finished Mr. Bowser concluded that the window casings ought to be touched up to correspond. Then it was the hoods and porches and steps. Next week it will be the fences and the barn. Seven different ladies have walked up the freshly-painted front steps to call on me, but walked down again without ringing the bell. Twenty odd tramjw have walked the length of the freshly-painted veranda to ask for a bite to eat, but went ofl Iiuiijtv and tired. Three of my dresses art r"inol. our washings are paint siot ted, and the sidewalks, fences and shade trees in our neighborhood have been spattered and speckled until strangers stop and gaze in astonish ment. I was intending to say to Mr Bowser last night that I wouldn't stand it another day, but before 1 had a chance to he went ohI for a smoke. In -Ins absent-mindedness he walked up the front steps and sat down to muse in the frloaminjr. I think he roused for half an hour, at the end of which 44me he came rushing in. Ee was cov ered with green and lead color and Queen Ann and purple paints, and. as i turned himself ar:und for me to soe lie v .-ived his arms and shouted: "Woman, don't vou laugh at me! You dragged me into this, and If I don't get even with you my name isn't . Bowser! Detroit Free Press. FJTH AND POINT. Men with clean shirts on never en gage in free fights. To find out how old a lady is Ask some other lady. Danville Breeze. A tussle with a boarding-house (Steak is now called a "bull fight." PITIFUL SUICIDE. A Terrible Trst-edy Which Furnishes Con- IderabU rood fur Itsasrtlon. If the literature of suiclds were com pletely written oue of Its most singu lar feature would be the causes which induce the voluntary shuffiing-off of this mortal coii. Suicide knows no law. The only peculiarity which always characterises it is that year by year six times as many men commit suicide as women, which would indi cate either that they have six times as much trouble as the women or that they have onty one-sixth the capacity for bearing it. There is no other fixed rule governing self-slaughter. While the yearly record Includes many per sons between twenty and forty, a con siderable number of very young chil dren and of very jiged people take themselves out of the world. The methods of sett-murder include the oddest schemes that insane ingenuity can suggest. The causes are just as unique. While the larger number may be traced to settled melancholy, verg ing on insanity, ill-health, business losses, disappointed lovo and liquor. there are numerous others, ranging from the most grotesque, like that of the woman w ho shot herself the other d:ry because her husband would not re fuse a political candidacy, to the most pitiful, like that of Charles Seidhorf and his wife, who poisoned themselves in New York City recently. Charles Seidhorf was a German. ninety-one years of aire. His wife was ninety-three. The husband was finely educated and was a man of more than ordinary ability. He had taught school with success. He had trans lated several technical works and had been a contributor to pnpers and peri odicals on scientific subjects, lie wa an excellent chemist, and his scientific attainments were such that he had made some useful inventions. Like many men. of this stamp, however, he had little head for business. His vent ures were not successful. He was con stantly harassed for money. His wife was feeble and sicklv and could not help him. Designing individuals im jwsod upon him. .Those who owed him would not pay him. His life was one long, bitter, hopeless struggle with an adverse destinv in the midst of people who were tilt-owing away money on needles luxuries. The money squandered on a single swell reception might have kept this aged couple in comfort for the remainder of their days. Thus handicapped in every direction, he fought the battle of life even iu extreme old age until at last 'he only way out appeared to be the poor-house. They were alone. helpless, friendless, hopeless, old and poverty-stricken. hen the authort ties came to remove them to the poor- house he besjred for a days delay, that he might prepare himself for the jour ney. It was a long one. When they came lor linn again he was dead, ltis old and feeble wife, who could not live without him. lay dead by his side. Few as the days were that were left them they could not endure the shame of the poor-house. All else laat life had in the way of suffering they had endured. Rather than submit to this last disgrace they solved the problem themselves bv severing the frail ten ure, en dim? the hop-less struggle and passing into the final rest. It is all well enough for people who have n troubles to theorize upon the criminality of suicide, but only those who are driven to the wall like these two and who can look at life from the same black, hopeless poiut ol view are capable of judging the real weight of the burden and the real weakness of the shoulders that carry it. So far as the actors in the tragedy are concerned therefore, there is no call for pity, for they are released from all further pain and distress. But is it not pitiful that such a tragedy should occur at all? Is there not something radically wrong in our social system when two people with but a very brief time to live at best can not muter courage to wai until the natural release? Have we nothing better to offer people cf this class than the itootvliouseP The vere not of the kind that willingly become paupers. The- felt its shame too keen ly to live. Is it not possible among all our charities to devise a home lor per son s of this kind where they could liv with no loss of self-respect, and when they would not le made to feel that they are paupers? Certainly there should be. for the suicide of Charles Seidhorf and his wife is a public re proach. Chvago Tttbune. I'llnec, a tine Jersey bull belonging to a joint stock company, created sensation one day last week at Tall.-v hassee by deliberately killing a cow. It is said that he lifted her on his horns. threw her into the air, and killed her almost instantly. Even to people who have made . I m a .... tneir iortunes, or have attained so much property that they are quite easy as to the future, the dead town has no attractions. The evidence of deca dence can never be attractive.- from t ranee comes the anuoun ment of a newly-invented rotary print ing machine, which is said to print, superpose and fold publications from two rolls of paper, if so desired. Suit able devices are provided there are four cutting and folding cylinders, two of which cut and fold the sheets from one roll, while the other two operate upon the remaining one. Each of the two pairs of cylinders are, however, capable independently of cutting and folding the sheets t'ublie Opinion, The Roman Catholic authorities of Boston, are planning to establish one great common eemetery for all the cities in adjacent parts of the State, to which the railroads are expected to run special funeral trains daily, the cars going directly into the grounds and all expense of carriages being done away with, the undertaker carrying the body to the station, the city and the railroad landing it at the grave. The Boston & Lowell railroad is said to be ready to run funeral trains at reduced rates if such a cemetery is established. In Mex ico they have special funeral cars over the horse-car routes to the cemeteries. The history of the toothpick in this country has a few curious and interest ing features. Not many j-eurs ago man in South America, whose wife was ki the United States, whittled out a few wooden toothpic's and sent them to her. in some way not now known the pro prietor of a hotel obtained some of them and, learning who made them, he applied for a supply. This led to a large sale of the whittled picks and finally to the establishment of an agency for their sale in this country. The toothpick manemigrated North and inveuted ma chinery by which he turned out the first year sixteen million two hundred and fifty thousand picks, which has since in creased to above that number per montfj. . . . AMONG THE T'UINKITS. Tha lttght of MTmiieo Among tho Aba rlittuiU Tribes of Alaska. Every time :i i uu wa.it to under take a business transaction hn takes his wift along with him to ratify or Veto the barg.iin, an I should sho bo absent at the time she may nfierward put in an appearance and upset tho whole affair, runniest of all, the same equivalent transactions of the women are not subject to tho nam superrls- ng p wer of the men, wh havo notli ng to say rjgaiillng the bargains of heir wives and daughters, except to toot the bill, if any o m-iensatioit Is promised by the squaws that tho men are expected to fill, m work, utensils they can make, or even money, where they ran get it from whi.e m -n and understand its value. I have known sovorul instances where the mon have closed certain bargains, only to Hud hem. oponol again when the absent wife put in an appearance. As white men are not very liable, to undo a bargain which they think Is to their advantage, they seldom acq ilcsee In tho demand of tho women in canceling the contract, and some of tho worst versonal misunders'.amliugs between tho two raoea havo occurred on this account. I, of course, do not know how the Tlinkit man fared aftor lie got home from such a bargain; but I think we evi all Imarlne pretty well. Nothing was more exaspera ing to me, at times, upon my expodi.ions into Alaska iu 18S3 and 186 when I came across somo man from whom I wanted to buy some trilling article or to employ for a short time than to have to start out for the Indian vil lage, probably a milo or two distant, to consult his wife about it, or to bring her to mo to talk the matter ever. Then tho succession to the chieftain ship of tho tribe is a most singular one, based also on "woman's rights." or something akin to It. Neither the eldest son of tho King and CJ icen nor tho chief and his wife nor, in fac', any of the sons and daughters sue- coed their father to the head of the tribe when lie dhs. but sum one of the nearest male relatives of the Queen is made chief when her hus band dies. It is easy to sie that this cm Ions and ' roundabout method of handing down the scepter may trans fer the crown to anybody lu the trllie, and that there can le no such tiling ns a true royal succession or heredi tary decent of the chiefs power. hen the parents, or cither of them, have d:ed all of the effects that tl.ey possessed descend by Inheritance on the mother's si le, none of the dcsce'idints of the father receiving any tiling out of tho es'ate. O le wo.dl think that it would lead to somo curious muddles, but somehow they manage to keep it straight. The same as among all savages, the men have often two or three wives, and in rare cases even more; but the women, not to ba outdone in the mat rimonial liie. have in a few ill s' ances two or three of which I know of personally two husbands. They arc nearly always r'ch women, who have had a great de.tl left them by in heritance, or who had male a large amount th -msalves foe, as I have said, the women do nearly all the business. One TMinkit woman, a Silks, woman, who went by tho name of Mr. Tom among the white jicople, and who had already one husband, bought another, a slave, for alxmt a thousand dollais in goods and chattels, and when I saw tho two together aft erward I think he was the best-looking one of the pair. When a man and woman marry they try ami adopt a boy and a gv. If tho man dies the loy becomes the woman's husband, and if the woman dies the girl b.-comcs tho wifj of th ma-i. Lieutenant Schwalla, in N. Y. In lenende it. THE TERRIBLE APHIS. A l.lttle Insert Thl Conlit Str Oat h llumaa Ksm In On Year. Do you see that speck on this slide?" The reporter closely cxa:ul led the glass slide of the microscope. The eye. unaided by the lens, could distinguish absolutely nothing. "Now l.ok through this tn'e." The reporter gazed tlirou;h the long tubes of the big binocular microscope. Uu the slid there was plainly to be seen, instead ot a single speck, a col lection of monsters, wlio were crawling around on the glass uneasily, as if out of th dr natural element. "See their long legs, peculiar eyes and ferocious appearance," observed the entomologist in whose iivtown of fice the research was being mndt "Those are aphides or plaut-lico. The aphis only weighs one one-hundredth of a grain. Its lifo is 'short and its habits are destructive in tho extreme to all kinds of plants, particularly those which arc reared in-door. "What is so rc:uarktble about them?" "I was coming to that- They are among tho nmst fecund creatures in the world. They breed with almost mirac ulous rapidity. I will illustrate. A heavy man will weigh in tho neighbor hood of 2.000.000 grains, two billion times as much ns an aphis. Well, in ten broods, if nothing were done to de stroy them, how much do you suppose the offspring of one of these minute creatures would weigh?" 'I have no idea." "Of course we have no way of abso lutely determining that matter, but judging from the increase of a single aphis in a given length of time, and es timating what would be accomplished iu ten broods, we estimate that they would weigh as much as 800,000.000 mon weighing 230 pounds each or one-third the human population of the globe." "Lurky their increase is checked." "I should say it was. They would drtdroy in one year every particle of vegetable matter in the world, and create a famine equaled only in its do striietiveness to the deluge itself." A". II Mttil and Express. At the time of the death of George rV., in 1830. there were 32? heredita ry peers. There ara n w 477. D i .ing this perio I 335 new baroneteiej have been created 278 bv Liberals and 93 by Conservatives. Christian Union. In a tribunal at Paris the o'her day the judga su rgested to a worJy lawyer that he had better be brief, and that worthy responded as follows: "He is wrong, I am r'ght. and your honor is a goo 1 judgj." Then he sat down. Not soil alone nor sun alone gives strength and majesty to the sturdy oak, but also its exposure to the changes of the seasons and its bat tles with the storms and winds. So it is through hardships and well boruo trials cheerily met that man attains , 1 1 a nf illf.nirw tf 1.1a full nature and the stability of his true manhood. Farmer and Manufacturer. MISCELLANEOUS. There seems to befa general fitness about the fact that "boom" rhymes with "doom. ' A calf at West Fallowlleld, Can., ale nineteen yovngui keys and wanted more. Toronto uiobf. At Yuma, Cal., eggs are hatched by natural heat, if put in a shady place. If left in the sun they cook. Toucher "Hare animals a capaci ty for affection?" Class "Nearly all." Teacher "Correct. Now, what ani mal possesses tho greatest affnotion for man?" Little Girl "Woman." Oma ha World. The Illinois Humane Society, or ganized at Chicago in 1870, has n good record. During the last six years it has Investigated 13,744 complaints, extend ed help to 6,40:1 children, and saved from aluiSH over 8,000 horses. A Kentucky sheep-breeder adver tises that, living near three towns, he has concluded to discontinue his contest with dogs and therefore offers the remnant of his flock of thoroughbred Southdowus for sale. There is a mending burenu in New York City where bachelors and neg lected husbands take their shirts, socks, cuffs, and w hatever is in tatters, and can have them made whole again. The only wnya it used to bo possible to get this work done was to foo tho wash erwoman for the purpose, or to tako the work to one of the charitable institu tions that still make a specialty of em ploying their inmates at this work. A watch has been inveuted by the Sw Us watchmakers solely for the use of blind people. A small peg Is set in the centerof each figure. When tho hour-hand Is approaching a certain hour the peg f ir that hour drops when the quarter before it Is passed. The pirsoii feels the p.'g Is down and then counts back to 12. He can thus tell the time within a few minutes and by practice he can become so expert as to tell the time almost exactly. A most reinarkablo imitation of black walnut has lately been manufact ured from poor pine, the quality and apitcnraAre of tli.i article being such as to defy detection, exs) pt upon very close examination. To accomplish this. one part of walnut peel extract is mixed with fix parts of wntcr, and with this solution the wood is coated. When the material is half dry, a solution of bi chromato of potash with water Is rubbed on it. and tho made walnut is ready Tr ue. "A colony of rats," says tho New York Sun. "went driven out of their resting plnce in the collar of No. 63 Fulton street, Brooklyn. Tuesday, bv the collapse of the foundation of one of the pillar of the Kin r County Elevated road. ilh bale-sticks and bung starters the occupants of the sahton overhead managed to exterminate nearly ono hundred. It will cost the railroad about two dollars a rat to pay the damage done liv the water which Cowed in the cellar. "I should think you would adopt safety coiplmgs for your freight trains." remarked a gentleman to the superintendent of arailio:ul, as a brake man with a leg mashed ofl was carried by on a shutter. "Why so?" asked the superintendent. "Because you cripple so many brakemcn by the old method, wns the reply. "Not much," said the superintendent. "This railroad only pays an t ight per cent. di ideti while my stock in a cork-leg factory pays a dividend of forty-two per cent. lo you think I want to go to the expense of purchasing safety couplings ill order to throw the cork-leg factory Into bank ruptcy? You must be crazy t" Aev man Independent. m STORY OF WASHIN3TON. ! lie rrlnit la Win i f.irnly Cull. Ilu Wm llailly Thrown. While the l.ov Washington was i 'abv visitor at Itjlliaven, he es ah I shed iu the villago and its neighbor tool a r putat'on for iron-liko power f endurance and a springy vigor 'ecl, an invincible w ill and a knack of g 'ing straight tluou 'li difficulties. I'll Ihiv ha I a w onderf .il skill iu the oMtrolt-f horses. Ho never mot one iio w is ii f. -aid to mount, aud he broke h m si liery to hi r.da. An incidont of his boyhood curren in tho chat of Ihj placo has escnp t coins: Ililph Wormlev. a man of some con scq once In the Colony, had brought across th ferry fro n Miry land to B lliavon n number -f young hores, a-iiong them a colt tha' had thrown n scoro of colored jixk-ys. The boy about the warohoiisj wero all willing o wager that the colt tould not throw Giorgi Washington. What itt may have b.-en the reason, every !-dy in the nolghbor- hoo I said tha' W rm'.ey had no goix blooi for the Wellingtons or tho Ym'.r faxes, and all hough ho gave out tt at he would give the colt to George tt ash ing On if ho could r.dj iu nobody be licved him. When, however. Wash i'tgton came to Ilia warehouse. Mr Wormb-v said: "Now you'ro aspright ly boy, Mr. Washington, but there's a colt that s too much for you. If yo liai k him to M mnt Vernon, hack yot need n iver bring h'm. Winch mean If the colt did uot ihrow h'm the col honld be his own. S. Mr. W.-rm'ev kept his word: but when the gro m saddled the cult an Washington, after seeing that the girth was firm and the bit and bridle proper, j imped iu'o tin saddle and went across Wlnto O ik Swamp like an arrow, then every lui.lr in tha village said Worm'ov hatod tho W.vshingtoas and the Fiirf ixs so that he was try ing to got young G-Kirge Washington's ivck broken. Washington came back next day wi h the same hor.o, and at the village inn returned th i colt to Mr. Wormley "Keon turn, mv b y, you ve won him." sad Wormier. N , I have no', sir," replied WnsV ing ot; "lie threw me in the wo Is and dragged mo. but I got tho bridle rou-id a live and held him." "Well, you may have him, sai Wormley. "N:. sir," replied the lal, as he handed over the bridle of the colt. wouldn't take him as a gift. I did not win tho bet, and he is your horse." "Why," cried out Wormley, jocosely, "if there was a bet vou owe me a h..rse, Where is my horse?" "Oh. no," retorted Washington in a louder voice than was usual with him. so that all the by -Stan lers might hear 'You le' your oolt against my hea 1. i ou ve got your colt ana l ve my heal it s a drawn bet. Giod morn ing. sir:" and he went off with the stride of an Indian chief. Wide A-Jiakt. Udh. Tussaud now exhibits Queen Victoria's first doll, first shoes and first gloves, and various other mementoes of Ifoe royal nursery; also a piece of her Majesty wedding eake. TERRORS OF POLYGAMY. Th KierlfiK- of a, Mormon Olrl m ft latd by llerafilt. I have often been asked to marry Mormons who had wives. I will tell you about one of them, a wealthy man. now dend. His name was Franklin Neff. One day his wife the only wife ho hal came to our house ami had a talk with mo. She said sho wanted mo to marry Mr. NeT. 1 was only fifteen, but I knew what polyg amy was, aud I had set my heart against It. "Well. Mrs. Ne.IT." I said. if he wants me he II have to summon np cheek enough to ask mo himself." 1 said this in fun, and then nked Mrs. Neff what she thought about it. She said herself and husband hud talk, ed the whole matter over, and she had come to tho conclusion that as her hus band was obliged to take a second wife ihn knew nobody she d sooner have him take than myself; therefore she begged me when he called to give him a favorable answer. The proposition, coming from a woman thirty-live jnars Id, who had been married for years to her husband of about tho same nge. and who h d assisted him in accumu lating his wealth, was at once strange and amusing. Mr. Neff called that same night, and. in answer to his question, I told him that ho must be crazy to m ike such an offer of marring to a mere dull. buth insisted that he was in earnest, nnd ho wont to mv mother who, on account of his high position In the church, was afraid to flatly refuse him. Mother said she would not go against my wishes, but if he could persuade me into p'dygam she would have no objection-, at the same tune she warned mo not to give my consent for any oonslderation. Mrs. Neff came round to see me sev eral times, and was always urging me to marry her husband, saying that he could uot live without me, and both of them would le all tha happier for it But the more she talked tiio firmer I became in my resistance! They In vited mo to spend a few days at their country home. I wantod to refnsr but mother said I had better go. I sent, and 1 don't think I spent a more miserab e time anywhere iu all my life. The husband was continually asking me to go buggy-riding with him mid the wife was coaxing me to con sent Still. I thought I saw that the woman was unhappy. She seemed to lie doing w hat sho did against her will. A ball was given in tho neigh lorhod and I wanted to go. Mrs. Neff ask me to co with Frank (that was her husband's name), but I said no. would go alone, unless she ngreod to go along. She agreed, and we went. That man tried his very hardest that niirht to dance with me. and his wife even asked me to dance with him. but I kept plenty of engagements abend with tho young fellows and he got no dance. Some one then told him tint I would not dance with him while Mrs. Neff was present, so he told her and she went home. After she went he cauin to me and said she hail gone and he hoed ii' w he would have the pleasure of a dance, but I continued to make ex cuses nnd avoided him. The tinn came to go home, and I refused to al low him to accompany me unless there was a thirl party along. II is brother Amos accompanied us, and after leav ing me at the door the two me;i went to Amos Neff's house. I found Mrs. eu In her room in tears a more heart-broken woman I never saw. She had been sitting there fretting and cry ing and ruoauiu for hours, thinking that I was dancing with her husband and that I was coming home alone with hint. Aud only the night before she had sat up with me until twelve o'clock trying to talk mo into marrying him, making all sorts of promises, and say ing that herself and Mr. Neff vrouh write out deeds for one-half of all the property aud possessions they had if I would only give mv consent. She bejjseil mo not to sav any thing to her husband about the crying scene as she said he would scold her for it but I said I thought it my duty to tell him, and also to let him know the opinion I had of him. I told Mrs. Nr not to grieve, as I would never cause her the slightest sorrow, and sent her to bint a much happier woman than I had found her on my coming in. ex morning at the breakfast table Mr. Neff said something about polygamy. That was all the provocation I wanted said: "Mr. Neff, if you wero any kind of a man at all, or had even the com monest human instincts, you'd let polygamy alone; you have a wife wh Is too good for you, and who loves you better than you deserve stick to her and let other women alone." Then I told him tho condition in which I h found his wife on coming from the ball. His face grew white, and, laying down his knifo and fork, ho arose from the table anil left the room. I went home that morning, and neither saw Mr. Neff nor heard from him again. He never went into polygamy, and I fel very glad of it "for th j sake of the heart-broken little woman, to whom second wife by her husband's side would have meant a speedy death. S.yr l.nlef fltl nr. 7 r,i IK. I. I imr. Cuticura a Positive Cure for oVoryform; of OKin and Diooa -Disas- r.X - from Pim,ples to Scrofula KIN TORTURES OF A LIFETIME IN- atantly relieved bv a warm bath with Cirri- CUBA etOAP, a real Skin Beautifler, and a single application of Cuticuka. the great Skin Cue. This repeated daily, with two or three doaea of CtrricuRA KRHOLVKNT.the New Blood Purifier, to keep the blood coot the perspiration pare and unlrritating, the bowels open, the liver and kidneys active, will speedily cure. Eczema, tetter, ringwo m. psoriasis, lichen. pruritus.sca.il head.dandruif, and every species of torturing, difulgurlng, ltching.scaly and pim ply disease of the akin and soaln, with loea of hair, when physicians and all known remedies fail. Sold everywhere. Price, Ctjtictjra.SOo.; Soap, 25c.; Kkholvknt, $1. Prepared by the Pottkb Drug and Chrmioal Co., Boston, Mass tjTSend for "Iiow to Cure Skin Diseases." nilTI'I.ES, blackheads, chapped and oily skin lill prevented by Cuticura Mi dicated Soap. ely's catarrh CREAM BALM 0raTnMMV had catarrh for 8 years. With rasas great reluctance I began using Ely's Oream Balm and after six weeks use I b: lieve myself cured. It is an invaluable Balm. Joseph Stuart, 621 Grand Ave, Brooklyn, 1 HA' A particle U applied into each noatril and I agreeable. Price 50 cent at druggltt j by mall, registered, 60 oenta FXV BROTHERS, 236 Greenwich Street. New York. $5 Ta S8 a Day. Sample worth $1.50, FREE. Lines not andar the homes feet. Write Bbw- m ieT R1t HniTtFR On. .ir oil v J!Oclj. P. S. V. No. il-S, r. N. U. NO 2M. SEN -FlmJW tain . - ... I 1 lie lirltlsli Koernment has decided to i banish King JsJI. of Oporbo, West ALirm. I toot, tieieua. liie auiir recently caused 1,0 ot his subjects to be beheaded as a warnlnK to others not to permit traders to net into the Interior. BEAD THI DEATH SOLf, Which tha bills of mortality of any Urge city mar bs fitly dealg-nated, and you will And that renal and vectaal aiaUdiea. that Is to say, Uioso thst aflect the kidneys or bladder, havs rcsniarksbla prominence -wa bad almost aid pteponderenoa. Hrliclita disease and Ittlx-tee in the chrotilo atare are rarely iirui. and irrarel. ralarrh of the bladder id enuresiM, 1T litany. Yet at the iult. when the troiibltt inerelv atnounta to mu'tlvlt of IheorifMie involved, the danger may Im nil lined liy that tileaaaiit renal tonic nd dluretlo, iliMU-tter a Htomacb Hitlers, wnlch inpurli llin requiiilln amount ot tons to the orunn. without oer-eclUiir them, end the un i of whloh 1 convenient, and Involves do liilHr'e preiarat ion. I lyniiep -la, a usual con- 'tiniiant or renal rainiiininia, ana aeuiury, lil' li they Invailebly oduoe. are remedied r it. Hn sIho are eonsli nation, malarial, rheu matic aud nervous elhneiita. Gen. O. B. Wilcox Is brlffadler-sreneral commandli ft a department in the Missouit division. "HOW CAR BBS ZYEft 10VK HIMf Is what you of leu hear when the prospect ive groom Is the victim of catarrh, "iiow ran nhe bear much a breathr "How re solve fo 'Ink her destiny with that of one with a diaeane. that unless arreateo. will end in consumption, or perhaps In Insan- Ittr I-.et l ha htistiand that la. or la to lie. irrt Dr. Sage's Catarrh Itemed?, aud cure himself before It la too late. JIt druKfdsta. Jefferson Davis bos completed his ser enty-nlnth year. ST. VITUS' DA.BCK CUB1D. Farmiodai., L. I., N.Y., Sept T, 1885. I have been troubled for several years Ith an affection of the nervea which no doctor or no medicine could cure until I tried BnANURKTn'a 1'iu.s. I would be taken with a violent pain In the middle of my spine, and my arms and legs would twltrh violently. It acted something like St. Vitus Dance, for I couldn't control my IlintM. It would come and mo once or twice a mouth, lasting two or three days at a time. Finally, at the beginning of one of my attai ka, I took Ave Uruso- RaTii's I'll. I j. As soon as they acted freoly I found my sell almost well. So 1 con tin uet taking them (or a month one or two anight It la now a year since 1 have bad n attack, anil I attribute my cure to LtKa.NURBTH'S PlIXSw FRANCKS WoOO. How U Caia Flash and Strength I'M after each meal IKeatt'a Kaaalal wtih llrpophoMphttea. It la as pejalable aa milk. an. I eanilr dla-eated. The raiiiditr with which deho-u people Improve wita ita aae la Wfimlertui. l.'ae it ana trv rour weiicht. Aaa reiuealy for t!toauuirUon. Throat alltootionaaad Mronctiliia. It Ii nneaualed. Il.aae rout: "1 jied riooU a hruulaion in a child elarht niotith old with good reeulta. lie gained four DoutMla In a very euori ume. 1 no. I'him, M. U, Alabama. ooHBUatrnox itjuxt crass. To tho Flitor I teams inform yemr readers that I have a pos itive reinarlr turlheahm najravl illniiaen llr It tintelr oaa Mamaaamte ot hootama nail have b en permanently eared. I ahall ba Rlad to emal two hwtlaof my reeaedy pitas to any of yovar reaoere woo nev eonaannpuon a toey will i nte their Knpraaa and P. O. addreaa. linruiecuuiiy. . A. SLOCt'lt. hi. tX. ltd Peart St.. New York At Barre. VL. the sranPe Industrv lurvihliea 1.IHJ men with employment. ROW YTCXEir WOULD TOTS. Were women allowed to vote, every one In the land who baa lined frr. Pierce'a 'Favorite iTeacrlotion" would vote It to be an unfailing remedy for the diaeasee peculiar to her aex. Uj druggist. Ei PnUic Trinter Rounda died at lila home in Omaha. la Nafer llemrdv can he bad for Cough and Cold, or any trouble of the Teroat, thau "Brown's Bronchial Tro- rwt. J rice St eta. Hold only in bajrs. TrtGermea for breakfast. CanaeiHoe improve and praamn tha eenptexinaL IXALL'S PULMONARY nTia3yvTvr, k superior remedy foe Caws-fee. 'olaa, laelpleait aiamplioa. aad. ail Threat and JLoag Tremble. old by all Drveglsta for B0 Cent. YOUR CATARRH TUB- arllic Sile la INFALLIBLE I Ask Your Druggist For It! ASTHMA Haltered la flit aUaatea. HAY PEVKB. CaraQnarantssd If Taaaa ta Tlssa BRONCHITIS. Vara Warranted. DEAF.1E8S Cured tu Three to BU Monibs, Diphtketia. Creaa, Hesrral. ala. Uradsrbe, Kara Ikrssl Irawii Craaa. Invaluable Remexiyl PWn ted April. 1884. rrioo ef Treatment, tOO; (Smoke B a fiO Dubollator, for Internal Use, fl-Oa) CAH00L1C SMOKE BALL CO. 652 Market SL, San Francisco, CaL C&2sTrx9 ot Hurtful Xmltatlona, TUfs BKT.T rtr Ref-aerarfr attavd wmprvaal fwr tb Cr ot Awrwttaferxi b ta af tb gr irat.y organs. Tha eaotlaaoar atrvfAaai f tl-CCTHIcITY rrtrmltB thtMfk Um pftrts anast ntters Lbem l aVeliBT fteUoa. Da w tmlommd tfclawitt. k.rrcrf Bltt evdfuttd t ar ail Ma from ItMdtoM. ItUfM Ikt OKI amactfie Banwm. Tor etretalara ftrtec fll I torBatfo. aldrea C be wmr C Vaa- m Bait Co., 109 WaAuUactoai DintS V1WQ, AAA. CURE FITS! Wbra 1 say core 1 do not mMn mriy to ator tbeta For a. tint aoa thn haT tbm rotara attain. I nran -aIirai cam. I hara made th dims of FITS,, KPU KPSY tr FAIaLIItG SICKNESS a UlVlons frtady. 1 rarrmnt rajr rimdj to ear the wont caw. IWcatMO xbera bar failed w bo reason for Dot now roMinfr a jam. Send at oooa for a treatise and a Frea B'ettia m mj lnfnllble remedy. OiTe Express and Post Ottjoa. H. . KOOT. 4. 83 Pearl Htu Kew Vrk. PEtiriYROYAL PILLS "CHICHESTER'S ENGLISH." The QrlKinal and Only OrDaise. r!mea4slvbllahkt. Brwanerwertalees Imltsttaaa, nrtl,prtiil W t-ADICS. A.ak Orsnul M Stamn,) tt tt fbr perticvli vaieaessera baaiisa" &ne vste so oumt. mr iqcim s Caleheater bfilV.l cZT' fat a tana aaaara, I'aUaAaPt eveev ,hwi M Sir Vlrm. Bold ar Bra: laaajrraral JHlla, Tin an m ssi On Hew Store, whlcli wa aowanapr, Itaa abowt 3 aerea ot CI 00 apace. TKa VITVERa GUIDE U uawcel Sep, and March. , each vear. Aa- 384 paces. taclca.wltaiover 3.BOO lllnstratlona a whole Pletara Gallerr. GIVES WHoleaala ll. "ree P Consumers t aM a; soda for personal or fkmUr was. Tells hew ta order, aad gives exact east of cTtrr Utn 7ss was, eat, drink, wear, or h f Wt, Tbeae ISVAI.CAHLB BOOKS rontabt lBforniaUoB. glean (rom the marketa f tbe world. A opy sent FREE apea receipt Of 10 Cts, to defray expense or mallljsg, MONTGOMERY WARD A Ca ItlettA Allcbisan Avesae, Chleaaa, IU. OLD SORES AND ULCERS ef.ieac, fata. Uj HaU, KM. alki, rjr , p. Aiia, si rsal, atma. ii ii THB "OLD Hf LIABLE." Eureka Printing Co., Timjohib, Oct It 1887. Having had In constant use for tha nast lbt mon'h one of Tour einhth.medium O d Reliable Gordon presses, with throw- off, we take pleasure In testifying to Its merits, it combines the Qualities of "Deel. accuracy aud strength, and runs with lit tle noise. la short it fu Ir sustains Its title to the name, as It Is reliable In every respect. We have printed on our prew a form of wood type full sfssof chase with-1 out quoins, and obtained a splendid tm-l (Tension, inereoy teating it strengtn in ma moat tnorouati manner. Yours truly, El'BKICl PRINTING Co. A London dealer, who bas been fourteen years in the trade, sells over four tons of meat, a day lor eats. TO COKSTJaTPTITES, or thoae with weak lung, "pitting ofl blood, bronchitis, or kindred afTectione ofl tnroat or lun-ra. aend ltt cent in stamps, for Hr. It. V. Pierce's treatise on thee maladies. Address the doctor.UuffaJo.N.Y. The Ilrltlsh ffimlK.at Wun haa t. cnaiiy iciven up tor lost. The best COII ah medicine la TMan'a Pnea tor iousunipiion. bold everywhere. c fl -m ti MI'S K. V Uifaum fl rn. 1. 1 t. l-...., . . 1 R ITA Hi A, relismiM tltamtura wnl ft mn n..llM WJiluu.oeurr.iM1ua 1 Siim 11 Ij. Vu. kull, I Wakclee'a Squirrel and G-pher Extermi nator Try It. and prove the beat is the c hea pes . Wakrlee tc Co.. Smi Francisco. PURE, Tteemwr! eeeeEaeepiuisw.hmjPltoBV aiiunafja tkst tiiaa a ejus r off aceatar. I ts ese4 ar n LaiieistaleaKuvaravent. I ad irsed b the head if the Or ITolteretUee as taa Kttantm. Parert aa4 . HailUKul. nr. i-neas sis onis nauns rosmer aa a-swosaoataia amnaima. iaaiaw auaaL TRICK BAXIHO PoWDKB OO . srrw toil ctwuMi ar. Tho Yon Ilonciscar DYSPENSARY. POBTLANH, OB. aeeay sibVtai fA aaa siatfW as hmmiiii sasa Drkaa Co cianuts leas iw 52? G.OOO.OOO pgQPig use LFvt P SEFD S -a9 0.-.FERRY4CO. are anrrJtud Ssasths Uwaaat aana in the world. C.aLTaAlTACOS SEED ANNUAL f Cardav, F fXhr r sowar IS E EDS" 0s M. FERRY ACO..Dfrtrolt,rr1lcrv. BUSINESS COLLEGE, 24 Post St, a Cal Aaortliaoit, Type-wTltlwr, Penmansfclp. Booa-aasptaf ana 1 eiastapnr au lue a. SCHOOL or rRAcncAU civtl. Meehaoleal aad Mlnlos Id- alneeriDC, Btirverlea Anal. hectare, DtwmXag tns. BASCBorr BUILDING. 723 Market St., San Francisco, Cal faTBenA tor circular. . A. V ASDEK X LUXES. Ii:orLE'S DISPE.A8ARY Acme Electric Belt Agency Foorth 8L. be. Morriaoa aivl Yamhtn. ttK-Uana. uregoeu AOVtOE AND tslEOfCUtE tlXX. AH TAseases siiut. nssXiHy tspasad. petwral and Merrooa DebiUsr. buma Weakness aad Lo Msnbooasuoreaaly treated wwo the atd of the oua iruui-es a apeoeutr Keaeasrav wuuiwmi tastik waniAusans ffesual 1 aigijif the eass st roost aMMSialJa rauat. Iriuain Iu atteodanee daily ja. A-aTWca-ia Ai sa aa, nais nnrarl s assaa. state srnsjtoina as aerutate iwia ewewr nA7nnoi DA7nnoi Hill lin.M rtll I I I n .M The undersigned will send George Westenho'.m Razor, ripe Brand. Fall Hollow Groand, -a iur asiaae. For & l.lO. TIIESK sxxls are my own Anporta Ion. and are sold ererywhere at from Si to C2.30. The price 4 -k cannot be met. far less cat. this side the IShelHeid. England, market. These are bt-antifnllr clean, k en cutters, and will be Btadly taken bac and money refunded, for any- uuh ai an. ur ou cause wnwerer. Aanms, a1 ixucris aishc, ihia wj, opnnguetOi 44, V7fi7ZA0 PORTIAM la twxcstful epentioa since 1S66, patreolttd iron business men and t-H;nf; cducatorsj, THE HOST PERFECT LT EOTTPPZa SCHOOL of ita class on the Coast, It cten private or class Instruction, day and evening throughout tha year, ia Anthinetic WritingeorreinoodeDce, Beoksepins; Banking, Shortluimi,Type-writine, BAainesa and egal Forms and ail Common School Brsnchaa. Seadeats ci air arcs aad both sexes admitted say tiase. raloriw (res. Armstrong and Wasco. Pnipristora. SELBY SMELTING AND LEAD CO, San Francisco. ia 11 ' hcDlCL VW SI SN0TGUN CARTRIDGES BUELL LAMBERSON, Gan'l Agwnt. 7 Stark SU rartUa. Or. jTa, A 111 A -4 S r iA2 Cos I - ion. wVaV leaj mai anA PlaArlui Traabla IFF 1TJ I nvaluabeto an. IMS REAfHn"EE.iEBY FOR PAIN. Rheumatism, Neuralgia, Sdallca, lumbago, Daekiche, Headachs, Toothache, Bore Throat, "welling, f ra '" bpraliMt rujes iiuo,i m. IT CONQUERS FAIFf. ZitrytTjUetttsarsllrrw. Errr tUM &si fl. "very tKi'-Siidil li tres. ZiKJ i-7 ataisi Srery U etrri. Crtry bsf.lt li rst esrt. ttrry fetus is U?.ii- iTtry swsirs krfus Mit tktfira iSigaaftr. (tvery jiia l essq4. trsry bsms will ksvs tt. Ttry dreret Ertry Inrnii rf i3 it. j Ziry cJuclrt tzit It r awards ron ct . . . . . . iut4 ,nlfl ftledai turl TTl hit. swlBlTlnl'---i,,, ;''' cik iati mo. r.x roMTinn CALiruaai ctte ria UMiiavtixs su. cx rout ion f& jotl I. etui. THI CHARLES A. V0GELE8 CO.. Battkaera, Ui CTha OLDEST KiJJICTJTE la tis W0ELDT la Probably Sr. luu TaompseR'i I J ELEBRATED EYE WATEll This artlria Is a earefntl Bena4 tirrtmnfn pes. seHpOoa, and baa boa In eonMant we f.ir aerljr a momtt and iolw1UwLittac U ssasi oUk prepara tions thai aave been Introduce, into mm aaarot. tui amle at thai article is sr astantiy inemxtng. If Uie rtl- r enoas are looowea win oevor " . prwe tarlv brrMe tbe astcatioe of ahvaejaos to Re aenti Jsha L. TaotaitMB. Boas Ca.. TKo Y. N. T. The Oregon National Cank, OF FOKTLAJin. f faajsteai si as B eievr . r l a s r if l 'PMSaoes a uenejw ramxtrs i ITXO felQliS 'i . on Raa frawiaue and Hew Tar. t U J Hi rseneawe karma. iJiiuiltVtt. ". B MAJiKIA J RHTTRMsg Caaatsr . ' ' " V CALIFORNIA Furniture Co., m, m, m, m mi u.t SAN FRANCISCO. lavrgeat Btk. lAwett Frtee. Furniture, Bedding;. Upholstery. Hotel Furniture a Specialty. TV. i. Cole aSe Oo. Bis ay Basctvev aaleer' sal sslhtf action la lba eajre of OoDerrtKea and Oteec I prescribe tt aad leei safe le recommend, f lag It to aO aflerera. a.J.ST01CB. U-D PBICK,1.. . Suld by imicsista, f)nft r Reetal llaease. Pllf. (j'fU aViavraire-a. 'latalM anA Re-eta 1 i Irj reatel sstssfslly. wtlfcoH ar kailfle. wltklw aast tws tesr. V lal ta several tarterter taws, a. saesiaV far rlrealars. J. H. Ptlklvgrtaav.M. im Mm.m lelawa'asUlaAertlal.r. CTCIUWAY K KAIICH aft 1UIB, O I CJn II l I , eabler. Koenlah Vtomm Bar ; det Organ, band iastrnTasits. taaaes atx of bheet aiokhs aaMi IMxaaa. Hams snppaoQ a- M. vKAl IU Oooeh Syron. Taeies mono. Use a. SoKI rrv ". r fai AU. CHRONIC DttCASta A trectALTY. SltiS,! eorreapotKienea. mm ff U.,'BP"J ten ceota ia atampa for our r.J,Y.trKrk-" wWeh f-lves'ail parUoI Uars. Address: Wort r a Diuiirl!-,B CAL A,W(Kjatiow. eiii siaiq fey, rtttalo, r. e T T ' ' ohool teaberaTArdmrrZ2 FCm wVaM aa w 'tjefllllilatatl ?f ""r?flf?",8 t?r.tcs. It is not a Cure-all. K"dt5i7 tulfiiai a Btoanees of purpoae, fc"" .rr ixweo epwtao for all tho OwoTArMaeaarM) r,Jeoaea peeoUar to. woroen. Ttoe treatment of tnnny thousand l? SJ- f UmJ n vn n ' Motel aad Sure I " JJf!1 01 tUSTaw fXTVftmw. For I interaal erat lor,, lstbaaasnattaat orauva, IS a Kneel fie. IS la a. powerful orocraL as well aa ut,-r I sa rul si 1 sasa. h 1 ..A J " I Irvpus3 proaf-rvtiinn. exbatioEA. wfHtw- mA irS-2i:.s5K- I k&Masl in MthaiaA a. ' w I ' miwaa oatue. T,tf Ava Msea . ant 8enl 10 oerrfs to stamp ffx Ir. Pierre's btrva Treatise on Diaeasea of Women (160 pmrls. Kperxorered). Address, World's Drsnasw T MtDlCAI. AaaOdAXKOf. A3 kfaln &u. lluffato,N. Y. - " am WWlf T . WAi-YXTOff PILLS. aSHIUUOCS aael CATHABTT3. EIt 11IABACKE, giaa ITendaeHo, lasiaieaav Const i pa (ion. ludisreatioua and BUlousAttacka, eromptly ourea oy asr lercea rlf asa ObnW A tV XirsTaWA. SsmKor' H saaaifanot JX5aiDA eMCTB. saf B ) EBXS. kVUtKIxa. JVur soillkn acres. : Msenptioa sx ot FLORIDA i 'taaabla tor tkmocea, AaaMaa, OuTsa, Kinaisplea. ? aassnss. cilrawcarnea and oaly t rrrshtiai. fos aaleoalonireralit. 1.S tea.00par sera. REWARD! tIPflfl he id for ea and every gnta et anas Alvuu eBuns subataaces fuurni la VinAknuaKabeninej aekBoaieaed the avfeS otliihtful aat ea r sealli harmleaa tuile artlcia ever ptudaceft (u leaatAfyoia and araservica Um oasnixxl teauvtBs tan. saUMira. r ekWa sad au Mnusn.a aad i:lil.aa at the oa. Ueit and lndotani bv tha e, at .i-i. ..i sfaea. tuJvl bv alt ararKltta at e a:s Ter aotu auaaal ITHMa. kKWNGTilS A Cu .. Wftebssls lrasjiiulan Fnutaau. Aisba, A f jrosrssfaT I f - TO DT-I I.I wrtmtrjm I 'SvsafCaSBfcalX ad I Ab .11 f" ' if SOfv V f C