Friday, D gc . 27, 1940
SOUTHERN OREGON MINER
Page 7
Fun for the Whole Family
IlKAFT MAKIN MAJOR MIHIAKK
Tlx draft army turned down a
New York taxicab driver the other
duy T’hix must ahow Uiut it docan't
think there la any immediate need
for fighting men in the army.
• • •
In thia cane the taxi driver waa
turned down beciiuae he didn't paxa
a 100 per cro' eye teat
Imagine
thul! Why, everybody know* from
experience that a New York taxi
man ia dangerous under al) condi
tion« and twice aa much of a threat
to friend or foe If hr can't aee.
• • •
For that matter, Imagine a taxi
driver being turned down by the
army for any rcuaonl
By ED WHEELAN
BIG TOP
L eaving Reo’ watching alta irving io pull
FLIP'. YOU’RE RIGHT ABO'JT\
S ilk " fc / wler . '- he usually
GOES To THE MENAGERIE
TENT WHEN MOST OF THE
gang are at
cook
.,
yvnst
house •
UP HCR STAKE, LET US GO ID ClJCNJH ALLEY
/SAY. EAJTCH . I BONDER
I WHY S ilk ' fowler goes
I To THE menagerie “lEhiT
\ SO OPTeN these days
—
SEAPCH
ME.
’FLIP'
\ X. • •• *
J
«•
____ - -
• • •
A taxi driver, particularly a big
city one, la the country's beat bet
in any war. He could even be Amer-
ica’a "myatery weapon," if given
any encouragement.
• • •
"If I waa with an enemy army,"
declared Elmer Twitchell today,
"and I had to chooae between a
»fMfik Joy M-.rkwy Syndic aGrh.c
LALA PALOOZA
By RUBE GOLDBERG
It Works
mesa with an average regiment and
one New York taxi driver, I would
dodge the cabbie and take on the
regiment.”
"Every time 1 think of the medi
cal expert« turning down theae cab-
biea it makea me sore.” continued
Elmer. "Taxi driver« are the only
group in American life who need no
training to put up a tight. They are
in constant training
*
nee
By C. M. PAYNE
S’MATTER POP—Emergency Hookup!
"I read in the pupera that Uncle
Sam la abort of tanka Tanka are
an urgent need in modern war.
Okay, but what can a tank do that
a modern big city taxi pilot and
hla cab can't do, if it’« neceasary?
• • •
"What ia the chief advantage of a
tank' fl la ita ability to get acroaa
any kind of terrain, regardleaa of
obataciea, and act aa if It didn't
know they were there. Am I right?
Of courae I am
And ain't that
where a New York taxicab Alls the
bill 100 per cent’"
• • •
Elmer waa quite agitated. "The
army not only should’ve welcomed
thia driver, regardleaa of the fact
hr wore glaaaea, but should have ad
mitted his CAR!" he Insisted, pound
ing the table
• • •
"If I was of draft age and had to
get into a war, nothing would make
me feel safer than if I knew a
flock of taxis were advancing ahead
of me. They would scare the hell
out of any foe on earth, and that
goes for Hitler, Goering and Goeb
bels. A mere announcement that
America waa recruiting a division
of cab drivers would bring a peace
movement at once, and I don't aee
why Roosevelt don't appreciate It.
• • •
"Please, Mr. Roosevelt, rescind
that ban on that nearsighted New
York taxi pilot, throw down the
gates to all taxi drivera, and then
let Europe get the information that
they are to be our first line of at
tack and defense, and you will get
peace in no time."
• • •
MESCAL IKE
This Begin* to Look Like a Crime Wave
By S. L HUNTLEY
By J. MILLAR WATT
POP—. . . And It’« • Lot Quieter
....... . ......
TO THE GREEKS
'.........•
SAME !
My bonnet Is off to the Greeks—
They scorned big machines or a
"plan.”
And showed to a badly scared world
There still can be fights, man to
man;
One terrible stiff kick in the pants
They give to the law "Might
makes right,"
And Hashed to a darkening world
A steadying, rallying light.
see
‘DUCHEH8* TOOTH WEEK*
Miami and Miami Beach have had
many curious backgrounds for the
formal opening of the winter season,
but this is the first time it's all
been done around an Infected tooth.
s • •
The bathing beauties and Miss
Americas upon whom Miami Beach
has so long depended for publicity
via press and newsreels are in a
state of high indignation. The art
ist's models have become the For
gotten Mannikins. A shapely leg, a
dimpled knee and the public strip
have for the first time gone into
the discard, believe it or not. The
tooth is the thing!
• • •
No leg ever did as much for
Miami and Miami Beach as Wally's
jaw is doing this senson.
• • •
TOOL
PASSER
COMES OUT TO HELP
FATHER WHO IS ON
STEPLADDER M£ND-
IN6 A SHUTTER.
SAYS HE'LL PASS
HIM TOOLS AS
»IE HEEPS THEM
iO THEY’LL BE
HANDY, AMD
A CALL FOR THB
HAMMER
SAYS HE P BETTER
BRING IT UP IN
STEAD OF PASSINB
ff, FATHER SHRIEK
INS TO STAY OFF
THE LADDER,HE’S
SHAKING IT
LAR6ED06.ANP I
WAVM& HAMMER A
FOOT AWAY FROM
FATHER'« HEAD
HERO FOR 1M0
Here’s to Billy Friesell,
A wonderman so strong
That he can make an error
And frankly say "I’m wrong."
• • •
Polite Commissioner Valentine of
New York is completing plans to
mobilize 111.500 policemen for emer
gency defense. Everything will be
okay up to the time some defense
general asks a cop how to reach
a certain destination.
But we would hat«, to be in a war
and have to look tor a policeman.
w
GLUYAS
WILLIAMS
0
“Hit consin's in
U h
third race.'*
UNFORTUNATELY, Ft I ER 5
ARE WEP4EP FIRMLY
IN POCKET, FATHER
QUEST FOR PLIERS OF LAU6HTER ANP,
ANNOUNCES THEY
WHILE FATHER WAITS. NAVIN» TO DIS
SEEM TO HAYE
EXPLAINS Nt HAD
MOUNT TO HELP
BET THEM OUT
DIS APPEARED
FORGOTTEN HE'D PUT
THEM IN HIS POCKET
MAKES CONTACT AT
LAST, AND ¿ETS RE-
AFTER LONG SEARCH,
BURSTS INTO «ALES
1« «ENT OFF, SO
FATHER CAN FIM
df
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----------------
ISH
BEFORE
HIOWF
F ALL, AMP DEPART*
WITH SCREW DRIVÖ
IN OTHER P0CKBT