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About Eagle Valley news. (Richland, Or.) 191?-1919 | View This Issue
TWO ARTILLERYMEN "PUT ONE OVER" ON OLD PEPPER,
Synopsis. Fired by the sinking of the Lusltanln, with the loss of
American lives, Arthur Guy Empey, nn American living In Jersey City,
goes to England and enlists ns a private In the British nnny. After n
short experience ns n recruiting otllcer in London, he Is sent to train
ins quarters In France, where he first hears the sound of big Runs nnd
makes the acquaintance of "cooties." After n brief period of training
Erapoy's company Is sent Into the front-line trenches, where he takes
his first turn on the tire step while the bullets whiz overhead. Empey
learns, as comrade falls, that death lurks always In tho trenches.
Chaplain distinguishes himself by rescuing wounded men under hot
fire. With pick and shovel Empey has experience as a trench digger
In No Man's Land. Exciting experience on listening post detail. Ex
citing work on observation post duty.
CHAPTER XVI Continued.
"Cassell had a fancy for that par
ticular blonde. The answer came back
J In the shape of n volley of cusses,
changed the subject
"After a while our talk veered
round to the way the Boches had been
exposing themselves on the road down
on the chart as Target 17; What he
said about those Boches would never
have passed the relchstag. though I
believe It would have gone througn
our censor easily enough.
"The bursting shells were making
such a din that I packed up talking
nnd took to watching the captain. He
was fidgeting around on an old sand
bag with the glass to his eye. Occa'
slonally he would let out a grunt, nnd
make some remark I couldn't hear on
account of the noise, but I guessed
what It was all right. Fritz was get
ting fresh ncnln on that rood.
"Cassell had been sending In the tap
code' to me, but I was fed up and
didn't bother with It. Then he sent
O. S., and I was all attention, for this
was a call used between us which
meant that something Important was
on. I was all cars in an instant Then
Cassell turned loose.
"Ton blankety blank dud, I have
been trying to raise you for fifteen
minutes. What's the matter, are you
asleep?' (Just as If anyone could
have slept In that Infernal racket!)
Never mind framing a nasty answer.
'"Are you game for putting some
thmg over on the Bodies and Old Pep
per all In one?'
"I answered that I was game enough
when It came to putting It over the
Boches, but confessed that I had a
weakening of the spine, even nt the
mention of Old Pepper's name.
"He came back with, 'It's so absurd
ly easy and .simple that there Is no
chance of the old heathen rumbling It
Anyway, If we're caught. I'll take the
"Under these condition 1 told him to
spit out his scheme. It was so daring
and simple that It took my breath
away. This Is what he proposed:
"If the Boches should use that road
again, to send by the tap system the
target and range. I had previously
told hlin about our captain talking out
loud as If he were sending through
orders.' Well, If this happened, I was
to send the dope to Cassell and he
would transmit It to the battery- com
mander as officially coming through
the observation post Then the bat
tery would open up. Afterwards, dur
ing the Investigation, Cassell would
swear lie received It direct They
would have to relieve him, because It
was Impossible from his post In tho
buttery dugout to know that tho road
was-being uxed at that time by the
Hermans. And also It was Impossible
for lilm to give the target, range and
degrees. You know n battery chart Is
not passed around among the men like
u newspaper from Blighty. From hlra
Hie Investigation would go to tho ob
servation post, and tho observing ofil
cor could truthfully swear that I had
not sent the message by 'phone, and
that no orders to fire had been issued
liy lilm, Tho Investigators would then
ho up In the nlr, wo would be safe, tho
Bodies would receive a good bashing,
nnd wo would get our own back on Old
Peiijiur. II was loo good lo bo true.
I gloufiilly fell In with the scheme,
'XiihI told CiimnoII I wun Ms meat.
"Then I wulled with beating heart
n ml tt'iuilii'd tho captain llko a hawk,
"lie wun beginning to fidget galn
and win driJimiil'iK on ilio uuduufc
Ml) II TOD"
MACHINE! 3UNNDI,OTWIN flttfiCr
with his feet At last, turning to me,
"Wilson, this army Is a blankety
blank washout What's the use of hnv.
Ing artillery if It Is not allowed to fire?
me- government nt home ought to be
hunced with so mo of their ril hmn.
It's through them that we havo no
"I answered. 'Yes. sir.' nnd stnrtrxl
sending this opinion over the wlro to
uasseu, out tno captain Interrupted
"'Keen those Infernal flnrers still
What's the matter, getting the nerves?
When I'm talking to yofi. pay atten
"My heart sank. Supposing he had
rumbled that tapping, then all would
be up with our plan. I stopped drum
ming wun my linger ana said:
" 'Beg your pardon, sir, Just a hnblt
" 'And n d d silly one. too ho nn
swered, turning to his glasses again,
nnd I knew I was safe. lie had not
tumbled to the meaning of that tap
"All at once without turning round,
" 'Well, of all the nerve I've ever run
across, this takes the cake. Those
Boches are using that road
again. Blind my eyes, this time It Is n
whole brigade of them, transports and
all. What, a pretty target for our
'iJi's.' The beggars know that we
won't fire. A d d shame, I call It.
Oh, Just for a chanco to turn D 238
loose on mem.'
"I was tremblinir with excitement
From repented stolen glances nt tho
captain's range chart, that road with
us range was nurned into my mind.
"Over tho wlrr. I tnnnpri. T '1S hnt
tery. Target 17, Itange C00O, 3 degrees
30 minutes, left, salvo, fire.' Cassell
O. K.'d my message, and with tho re
ceiver pressed against my ear, I wait
cd and listened. In n enunle of mln
utes very faintly over tho wire came
tne voice or our battery commander
Issuing the order: 'D 238 batterv
Salvo J Fire I'
"Then a roar thrnntrh tho rorolvor
ns the four cuns belched forth, n
screaming and whistling overhead, and
me sneiis were on tneir way.
"The cantaln Jurnned as If he were
shot, and let out n croat hie oxnrexnlvft
d n, and eagerly turned his glasses
in me direction of the German road.
I also strained my eyes watching that
target Four black clouds of dust rose
up right In the middle of the Germnn
column. Four direct hits another
record for D 238.
"The shells kent on whlstlinc nvor.
head, nnd I hnri Mil nt a1 hvaniv.fino
wta,.w a. vt4k;-4UUt
of them when tho firing suddenly
ceased. When tho smoko nnd dust
clouds lifted the destruction on that
road was awful. Overturned llmhoro
and guns, wagons emashed up, troops
neeing in all directions. Tho road and
roadside were snnHwl nil nvnt with
little field gray dots, tho toll of our
"The cantaln. In his exelfompnt JinH
slipped on tho sandbag, nnd was on
his knees In tho mud, tho glass still at
his eye. Ho was muttering to hltnuolf
nnd stopping his thigh with his dlsen
gaged hand. At every slnp n big
round Juicy cuss word would cscnpo
from his lips followed by:
uooiil Kino I Marvelous I Pretty
World Direct IiMh rill.'
"Jlien ho turned to tno and shouted;
"'Wilson, what do von think i,t in
Did you ever see tho like of It In whip
llfii? I) n fluo work. I call It'
"Pretty soon a look of womtnc uini,.
- - r " .......-, hiwiv
over Ms fare uml ho erfluliiied j
nui who in iii jfayu mom ie
order to tiro, llangc and everything
correct, too. I know I didn't Wilson,
did I glvo you any order for tho bat
tery to open up? Of courso I didn't,
"I answered very emphatically, 'No,
sir, you gnvo no command. Nothing
went through this post. I am nbso'
lutcly certain on that point, sir.'
"'Of course nothing went through,'
ho replied. Then his face full, nnd ho
muttered out loud:
"'But, by Jovo, wait till Old Pep
per gets wind of this. Theru'll bo fur
Just then Bonibnrdfer Cassell cut In
on the wlro:
'"General's compliments to Captain
A i He directs that officer and sig
naler report nt tho doublo to brigade
headquarters ns soon as rclloved. Be
lief now on tho way
in nn undertone to mo, 'Keep a
brass front. Wilson, nnd for God's
sake, stick.' I answered with, 'Holy on
me, mate,' but I was trembling nil over,
"I gave the general's mcssno to tho
captain, and started packing up.
"Tho relief arrived, and as wo left
tho post tho captain said: '
" 'Now for the fireworks, nnd I know
they'll bo good and plonty.' Thoy were.
"When we arrived nt tho enn nits
tho battery commander, tho sergeant
major nnd Cassell were waiting for us.
Wo fell In lino and tho funeral march
to brigade headquarters started.
"Arriving nt headquarters tho bat-
tery commander was tho first to bo
Interviewed. This was behind closed
doors. From the ronrlug nnd explo
sions of Old Pepper It sounded ns If
rw ment wns being thrown to tho
Hons. Cassell, later, described It ns
sounding like a bombing raid. In about
two minutes tho otllcer reappeared.
The sweat was pouring from his fore
head, and his face was tho color of a
beet Ho was speechless. As ho
passed tho captain ho Jerked his thumb
In the direction of tho lion's den nnd
went out Then tho captain went In.
and tho Hons wero once ngnln fed.
Tho captain stayed about twenty min
utes and came out. I couldn't seo his
face, but the droop In his shoulders
wns enough. He looked like n wet hen.
"The door of the general's room
opened and Old Pepper stood In tho
doorway. With a roar he shouted:
"Which one of you Is Cassell?
n me, get your heels together
when I speak I Como In here I'
"Cassell started to say, 'Yes sir.'
"But Old Pepper roared, 'Shut up!'
"Cassell came out In flvo minutes.
no snld nothing, but as ho passed me
ho put his tongue Into his cheek nnd
winked, then, turning to the closed
door, he stuck his thumb to his noso
"Theu . the sergennt major's turn
came. He didn't como out our way.
Judging by bo roaring, Old Pepper
must have eaten him.
"When the door opened nnd tho gen
eral beckoned to me, my knees started
to piny 'Home, Sweet Homo' against
"My Interview wns very short
"Old Pepper glared at mo when I
entered, and then let .loose.
" 'Of course you don't know anything
nbout It You're Just llko tho rest
Ought to have n nursing bottlo around
your neck nnd n nipple In your teeth.
Soldiers by gnd, you turn my stom-
nch to look nt you. Win this war,
when England sends out such snmplcs
ns I have In my brigade I Not likely I
Now, sir, tell me what you don't know
nbout this affair. Speak up, out with
CHINA LOSING TRADE IN TEA
General Opinion That Scientific Culti
vation of the Plant Has Been
Begun Tpo Late.
Chirm's tea trade Is not keeping pace
with the world's consumption of ten.
Scientific cultivation Instend of old
time methods and tho use of machin
ery are being used In the effort to
regain the lost commercial ground.
The ministry of ngrculture has estab
lished a model farm, and the first ten
grown on It wns sent to market this
year. It Is said to have been of good
quality, but no details aro yet avail
ablo of tho equipment and methods
employed. Foreign ten men seem to
huvo littlo faith In tho results of this
attempted reform and consider It un
likely that Chinese tons will over -re-
gain the leading placo In tho markets
of tho world. It Is said that Chinese
tens have less tannin than other teas,
and thnt the finer grades nre unsur
passed In delicacy of ilavor; but tho
average tea drinker seems to find tho
teas of India and Ceylon satisfactory.
Tommy's Curious Callings.
Tho British Tommy has always been
famous for tho brilliance of his
powers of romance, If asked questions
ho did not want to nnswer by peo
ple who had no right to know. Tho
latest Illustration Is nfforded by n
repatriated soldier of n Welsh regi
ment Ho had been n prisoner In tho
camp at Outrow, whoro tho Onrinnn
authorities, with a view to securing
skilled labor, wero anxious to learn
Ilio occupation of tho prisoners, But
surely novor imtoru wero Ihoro such
callings n trcaclii bender, wnlrhmiik'
ciV striker, H inljestono liupoclor, The
UurmuiiH gnvo it up,
It. Don't bo gaping nt mo llko n fish,
Spit It out.'
"1 stammered, 'Sir, I know absolute
"That's easy to sec,' ho roared
'that stupid face tells mo that. Shut
up. Got nut; but I think you aro n
d d llnr Just tho same. Back to
"I saluted and mndo my exit
"That night tho captain sunt for us.
With fear nnd trembling wo went to
his dugout. Ho was nlono, After sn
luting wo stood nt attention In front
of lilm nnd watted. Ills say wan short
Don't you two over got It Into your
Is that Morso Is n dead language.
heads that Morso Is a dead Inn gun go,
I v known It for years. Tho two of
you had better got rid of that nervous
habit of tapping transmitters; It's dan
gerous, That's all.'
"We saluted, nnd wore Just going out
the door of tho dugout when tho cap
tain called up back nnd snld:
'"Smoko Goldfinkes? Yes? Well,
Uicro are two tins of them on my tnhlo.
Go bnck to tho bnttery, nnd keep your
tongues between your teeth. Under
"For flvo weeks nftorwnrds our bnt
tery did nothing but extra fatigues.
Wo wore satisfied and so wero tho
men. It was worm It to nut ono over
on Old Pepper, to say nothing of tho.
injury caused to Frits' feellnirs."
When Wilson had finished his story
I looked up nnd tho ducout wns
Jammed. An artillery cantaln nnd two
omccrs nnd also entered nnd stayed
for tho finish. Wilson spat out nn
enormous quid of tobacco, looked un.
saw tho captain, nnd got ns red ns a
carnation. Tho cantaln smiled and
left Wilson whlsnered to tno
"Bllmo mc, Yank. I seo whero I click
for crucifixion. Thnt captain Is tho
samo ono thnt chucked us Goldtlakcs
in his dugout and hero I hnvo been
'chucking mo weight ubout In his
Wilson never clicked his crucifixion.
Empey tells of narrow es
cape In tho next Installment
(TO UK CONT1NUKD1
JOKE ON SCHOOL VISITOR
Fortunately Hamilton Mnble Was Well
Able to Appreciate Unconscious
Humor of the Children.
Tho Into Hamilton W. Stable, -tho
well-known American essayist, was
ono of thoso genial men who enjoyed
a Joko on themselves. Illustrating this
phnso of Mr. Mablo's character, It Is'
told that when ho was a student Mr.
Mnblo mndo nn address In which bo
told this story:
Ho had visited a school In Philadel
phia In which there was a dally flro-
drill. The teacher regularly asked tho
students, "Children, what would you
do If flro wero to break out In this
building?" Tho children all repeated
in chorus, "Wo would rlso In our
places, step Into the aisle, and march
quietly out of the building." On the
morning when Mr. Mnblo visited tho
school, while ho was sitting quietly on
the platform, tho teacher stepped be
fore the pupils and said, "Children,
what would you say If I wero to tell
you that Mr. Mablo Is to speak to you
this morning? The children, prompt
ly replied In chorus, "Wo would rlso
In our places, step Into the aisle, and
march quietly out of the building."
It Is now moro than a century slnco
un English nrmy fought In Italy, and
won tho battle of Malda over tho
French. Napoleon had vowed to con
quer Sicily, and for thnt purposo the
French pushed on Into Calabria, and
began to make extenslvo preparations.
But tho English forces for tho de-
feuso of Sicily prepared to deal n blow
on the mainland, A forco of 5,1)00
men landed In the bay of St. Einphe-
mln, nnd the battalions of tho French
fell before tho bayonets of tho Brit
ish. Napoleon's hopes wero shattered
at a stroke. But tho "dally-breader"
from Kllborn traveling Into London,
by wny of the Edgwnrd road, never sus
pects as ho passes by Malda Hill and
Malda Vale, tho origin of tho name.
Christian Sclcnco Monitor.
They 8uro Would.
Homer V. Winn wns talking before
tho Indianapolis Advertisers' club
about salesmanship, recently, and com
mented on tho fact that salespeople
wero too ortcn unnatural.
"Even tho merchant himself Is often
unnatural," tho speaker sifld, "He
docs not act In his store ns ho does nt
"And If somo of them did," comment-
I ono of tho women members of tho
ub, "they'd drive their Inst customer
Advice to an Author.
Tho author who writes that ho liken
"tho man or woman crammed with
animal spirits, who Isn't afraid to
mnko motions, to laugh out loud, to
run, to jump, to climb, to mnko n lot
of doIbo," might to trade lints with ono
who lives under n pair who, nro re-
hearsing frr nn Imitation animal
vaudeville wtunt, Heattlo PostIiiitlll
rvmUM uranulalcii cyciius,
nit to Sun. Dull atul Wind
quickly relieved by Murine
r.Vrh CfcRemedy. No Smarting,
J nM Eye Comfort. At
Your DrujrcUu or by null 60c per llottle.
For nook ol the Cvo free mite hit
Murine Lye llemedy Co., Chlcntjo.
DoubU Your VtUUnty at a SlniU Coat.
uATT CIIIPP TR All FR f ft
I"A11 SHHI IKAlLtK IU 3At,KM, owe
Tho Chinese do not beckon, ns wo
do, wlthvtho pnlm of tho hnnd turned
up, tho fingers curled nnd tho ludox
(lugor successively bonding nnd
straightening, Thoy beckon with tho
fingers curled downward, swooping
tho wholu hand vigorously baok and
"Too much of do gift of prophecy."
said Undo Ebon, "Is dangerous. Do
man dnt knows In ndvanco whut hand
ho's gwlnotor git In a poker gamo atn'
no fit associate."
The Old Order Changath.
Tho old-fashtonod lovor who used to
plunk n guitar under his sweothoart's
window now has n son who phonos to
lila girl to moot lilm at tho drug storo.
Cutlcura Stops Itching.
Tho Soap to cleanse and Ointment to
rootho and heal most forms of Itching,
burning skin nnd scalp affections.
Ideal for toilet use. For free samples
address, "Cutlcurn, Dept. X, Boston."
Sold by druggists and by mall. Soap
1!3, Ointment 23 nnd GO. Adv.
To Clear Olulng.
Tlo sovorat thicknesses of cotton
over tho mouth of a bluing bottlo If
you would hnvo tho bluing flow
smoothly nnd without dark particles.
Best of Rewards.
Tho host reward for any faithful
work la tho prlvllogo of going pn and
proving our faithfulness with moro
difficult tasks. Lucy Larcotn.
At.I.KNU FOOT lIASi: FOIt Till: TIKMHU.
Shaken Into tlio tluieA nnd nrinklnl In tlm foot.
lath It give tnt an.l comfort. Ultra tho friction
from tho !im ami iirvTvnU hlutrr and tuna
IMU. Makr Walking- Accept no nubUI.
tut. Sold everyvrhorv. Sit.
Tho boat wny to cloau onamoled
wnru Is to uso a littlo ordinary salt and
no soda; this will koop it in now con
Can't Do It Alone.
If a man over becomes truly cront
It la usually tho help of a dovotcd wlfo
that la responsible for It Chicago.
Sign In Main: Bumnus and Catch-
oil. Boston Transcript
In general, prldo Is at tho bottom of
all great mistakes. Buskin.
Miss Kelly Tells How Lydia
Jc. f inkham s Vegetable
Newark. N. J. "For nbout th
years 1 sutTcred from nervous break
down and pot so
weak I could hardly
stand, and hud head
aches every day. I
tried ovorvthlmr I
could think of nnd
was under n nhv.
siclan's caro for two
years. A girl friend
lind used Lydla E.
tnblo Compound and
sno told mo about
it From tho first
day I tookltlbcfrnn '
to fool hotter and
now I nm well nnd
Ohio to do inn, nnv
Jcind of work. I
hnva been rocom-
pound over slnco nnd glvo you my per
mission to nuhllah Hi I a im- ' V,i.
xy-w n.t.uux, aro ao. Mm at., Newark,
Tho rooson this famous root and herb
medy. Lvdin E. Plnklmm'a v...
Compound, was so successful In Miss
Kelly's caso was liuemiHn It u, n
root ot! ,nor, trouble, restored her to a
Por,nu, healthy condition and us a result
llt!r nrvou"ness rllsappeared.
m M fit LOSSES SURELY PREVENTED
IjLALW CUTTIR'S BIACKIIO PILLS
w firtn, ifiuiii
B onttio iu
. WrlU lot lx,t Irt i4 iMtlowaidt.
. n,wriiimifi rmi, ai,w
r Im MT lalhtW, I til Cuiim'i tiwulMl tliMmt,
7m iflwlir frl CuiUf i4ilii ii
wikli(,uMIM la Vii nm Ami Mmiui
im4mMihU ' in nrnut,
im ftrtur uurnwy, UiM, CtHftrsM