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About Eagle Valley news. (Richland, Or.) 191?-1919 | View Entire Issue (Aug. 29, 1918)
V TWO ARTILLERYMEN "PUT ONE OVER" ON OLD PEPPER, REGIMENTAL COMMANDER. Synopsis. Fired by the sinking of the Lusltanln, with the loss of American lives, Arthur Guy Empey, nn American living In Jersey City, goes to England and enlists ns a private In the British nnny. After n short experience ns n recruiting otllcer in London, he Is sent to train ins quarters In France, where he first hears the sound of big Runs nnd makes the acquaintance of "cooties." After n brief period of training Erapoy's company Is sent Into the front-line trenches, where he takes his first turn on the tire step while the bullets whiz overhead. Empey learns, as comrade falls, that death lurks always In tho trenches. Chaplain distinguishes himself by rescuing wounded men under hot fire. With pick and shovel Empey has experience as a trench digger In No Man's Land. Exciting experience on listening post detail. Ex citing work on observation post duty. CHAPTER XVI Continued. 12 "Cassell had a fancy for that par ticular blonde. The answer came back J In the shape of n volley of cusses, changed the subject "After a while our talk veered round to the way the Boches had been exposing themselves on the road down on the chart as Target 17; What he said about those Boches would never have passed the relchstag. though I believe It would have gone througn our censor easily enough. "The bursting shells were making such a din that I packed up talking nnd took to watching the captain. He was fidgeting around on an old sand bag with the glass to his eye. Occa' slonally he would let out a grunt, nnd make some remark I couldn't hear on account of the noise, but I guessed what It was all right. Fritz was get ting fresh ncnln on that rood. "Cassell had been sending In the tap code' to me, but I was fed up and didn't bother with It. Then he sent O. S., and I was all attention, for this was a call used between us which meant that something Important was on. I was all cars in an instant Then Cassell turned loose. "Ton blankety blank dud, I have been trying to raise you for fifteen minutes. What's the matter, are you asleep?' (Just as If anyone could have slept In that Infernal racket!) Never mind framing a nasty answer. Just listen. '"Are you game for putting some thmg over on the Bodies and Old Pep per all In one?' "I answered that I was game enough when It came to putting It over the Boches, but confessed that I had a weakening of the spine, even nt the mention of Old Pepper's name. "He came back with, 'It's so absurd ly easy and .simple that there Is no chance of the old heathen rumbling It Anyway, If we're caught. I'll take the blame.' "Under these condition 1 told him to spit out his scheme. It was so daring and simple that It took my breath away. This Is what he proposed: "If the Boches should use that road again, to send by the tap system the target and range. I had previously told hlin about our captain talking out loud as If he were sending through orders.' Well, If this happened, I was to send the dope to Cassell and he would transmit It to the battery- com mander as officially coming through the observation post Then the bat tery would open up. Afterwards, dur ing the Investigation, Cassell would swear lie received It direct They would have to relieve him, because It was Impossible from his post In tho buttery dugout to know that tho road was-being uxed at that time by the Hermans. And also It was Impossible for lilm to give the target, range and degrees. You know n battery chart Is not passed around among the men like u newspaper from Blighty. From hlra Hie Investigation would go to tho ob servation post, and tho observing ofil cor could truthfully swear that I had not sent the message by 'phone, and that no orders to fire had been issued liy lilm, Tho Investigators would then ho up In the nlr, wo would be safe, tho Bodies would receive a good bashing, nnd wo would get our own back on Old Peiijiur. II was loo good lo bo true. I gloufiilly fell In with the scheme, 'XiihI told CiimnoII I wun Ms meat. "Then I wulled with beating heart n ml tt'iuilii'd tho captain llko a hawk, "lie wun beginning to fidget galn and win driJimiil'iK on ilio uuduufc Ml) II TOD" AUAMEfiKMSOlWER WHO WENT MllUIKWfflPtT MACHINE! 3UNNDI,OTWIN flttfiCr inr by AaiKwerfinftY with his feet At last, turning to me, tie said: "Wilson, this army Is a blankety blank washout What's the use of hnv. Ing artillery if It Is not allowed to fire? me- government nt home ought to be hunced with so mo of their ril hmn. It's through them that we havo no sneiis.' "I answered. 'Yes. sir.' nnd stnrtrxl sending this opinion over the wlro to uasseu, out tno captain Interrupted me with: "'Keen those Infernal flnrers still What's the matter, getting the nerves? When I'm talking to yofi. pay atten Hon.' "My heart sank. Supposing he had rumbled that tapping, then all would be up with our plan. I stopped drum ming wun my linger ana said: " 'Beg your pardon, sir, Just a hnblt with me.' " 'And n d d silly one. too ho nn swered, turning to his glasses again, nnd I knew I was safe. lie had not tumbled to the meaning of that tap ping. "All at once without turning round, he exclaimed: " 'Well, of all the nerve I've ever run across, this takes the cake. Those Boches are using that road again. Blind my eyes, this time It Is n whole brigade of them, transports and all. What, a pretty target for our 'iJi's.' The beggars know that we won't fire. A d d shame, I call It. Oh, Just for a chanco to turn D 238 loose on mem.' "I was tremblinir with excitement From repented stolen glances nt tho captain's range chart, that road with us range was nurned into my mind. "Over tho wlrr. I tnnnpri. T '1S hnt tery. Target 17, Itange C00O, 3 degrees 30 minutes, left, salvo, fire.' Cassell O. K.'d my message, and with tho re ceiver pressed against my ear, I wait cd and listened. In n enunle of mln utes very faintly over tho wire came tne voice or our battery commander Issuing the order: 'D 238 batterv Salvo J Fire I' "Then a roar thrnntrh tho rorolvor ns the four cuns belched forth, n screaming and whistling overhead, and me sneiis were on tneir way. "The cantaln Jurnned as If he were shot, and let out n croat hie oxnrexnlvft d n, and eagerly turned his glasses in me direction of the German road. I also strained my eyes watching that target Four black clouds of dust rose up right In the middle of the Germnn column. Four direct hits another record for D 238. "The shells kent on whlstlinc nvor. head, nnd I hnri Mil nt a1 hvaniv.fino wta,.w a. vt4k;-4UUt of them when tho firing suddenly ceased. When tho smoko nnd dust clouds lifted the destruction on that road was awful. Overturned llmhoro and guns, wagons emashed up, troops neeing in all directions. Tho road and roadside were snnHwl nil nvnt with little field gray dots, tho toll of our guns. "The cantaln. In his exelfompnt JinH slipped on tho sandbag, nnd was on his knees In tho mud, tho glass still at his eye. Ho was muttering to hltnuolf nnd stopping his thigh with his dlsen gaged hand. At every slnp n big round Juicy cuss word would cscnpo from his lips followed by: uooiil Kino I Marvelous I Pretty World Direct IiMh rill.' "Jlien ho turned to tno and shouted; "'Wilson, what do von think i,t in Did you ever see tho like of It In whip llfii? I) n fluo work. I call It' "Pretty soon a look of womtnc uini,. - - r " .......-, hiwiv over Ms fare uml ho erfluliiied j nui who in iii jfayu mom ie order to tiro, llangc and everything correct, too. I know I didn't Wilson, did I glvo you any order for tho bat tery to open up? Of courso I didn't, uiu ir "I answered very emphatically, 'No, sir, you gnvo no command. Nothing went through this post. I am nbso' lutcly certain on that point, sir.' "'Of course nothing went through,' ho replied. Then his face full, nnd ho muttered out loud: "'But, by Jovo, wait till Old Pep per gets wind of this. Theru'll bo fur flying. Just then Bonibnrdfer Cassell cut In on the wlro: '"General's compliments to Captain A i He directs that officer and sig naler report nt tho doublo to brigade headquarters ns soon as rclloved. Be lief now on tho way . . in nn undertone to mo, 'Keep a brass front. Wilson, nnd for God's sake, stick.' I answered with, 'Holy on me, mate,' but I was trembling nil over, "I gave the general's mcssno to tho captain, and started packing up. "Tho relief arrived, and as wo left tho post tho captain said: ' " 'Now for the fireworks, nnd I know they'll bo good and plonty.' Thoy were. "When we arrived nt tho enn nits tho battery commander, tho sergeant major nnd Cassell were waiting for us. Wo fell In lino and tho funeral march to brigade headquarters started. "Arriving nt headquarters tho bat- tery commander was tho first to bo Interviewed. This was behind closed doors. From the ronrlug nnd explo sions of Old Pepper It sounded ns If rw ment wns being thrown to tho Hons. Cassell, later, described It ns sounding like a bombing raid. In about two minutes tho otllcer reappeared. The sweat was pouring from his fore head, and his face was tho color of a beet Ho was speechless. As ho passed tho captain ho Jerked his thumb In the direction of tho lion's den nnd went out Then tho captain went In. and tho Hons wero once ngnln fed. Tho captain stayed about twenty min utes and came out. I couldn't seo his face, but the droop In his shoulders wns enough. He looked like n wet hen. "The door of the general's room opened and Old Pepper stood In tho doorway. With a roar he shouted: "Which one of you Is Cassell? n me, get your heels together when I speak I Como In here I' "Cassell started to say, 'Yes sir.' "But Old Pepper roared, 'Shut up!' "Cassell came out In flvo minutes. no snld nothing, but as ho passed me ho put his tongue Into his cheek nnd winked, then, turning to the closed door, he stuck his thumb to his noso and left "Theu . the sergennt major's turn came. He didn't como out our way. Judging by bo roaring, Old Pepper must have eaten him. "When the door opened nnd tho gen eral beckoned to me, my knees started to piny 'Home, Sweet Homo' against each other. "My Interview wns very short "Old Pepper glared at mo when I entered, and then let .loose. " 'Of course you don't know anything nbout It You're Just llko tho rest Ought to have n nursing bottlo around your neck nnd n nipple In your teeth. Soldiers by gnd, you turn my stom- nch to look nt you. Win this war, when England sends out such snmplcs ns I have In my brigade I Not likely I Now, sir, tell me what you don't know nbout this affair. Speak up, out with CHINA LOSING TRADE IN TEA General Opinion That Scientific Culti vation of the Plant Has Been Begun Tpo Late. Chirm's tea trade Is not keeping pace with the world's consumption of ten. Scientific cultivation Instend of old time methods and tho use of machin ery are being used In the effort to regain the lost commercial ground. The ministry of ngrculture has estab lished a model farm, and the first ten grown on It wns sent to market this year. It Is said to have been of good quality, but no details aro yet avail ablo of tho equipment and methods employed. Foreign ten men seem to huvo littlo faith In tho results of this attempted reform and consider It un likely that Chinese tons will over -re- gain the leading placo In tho markets of tho world. It Is said that Chinese tens have less tannin than other teas, and thnt the finer grades nre unsur passed In delicacy of ilavor; but tho average tea drinker seems to find tho teas of India and Ceylon satisfactory. Tommy's Curious Callings. Tho British Tommy has always been famous for tho brilliance of his powers of romance, If asked questions ho did not want to nnswer by peo ple who had no right to know. Tho latest Illustration Is nfforded by n repatriated soldier of n Welsh regi ment Ho had been n prisoner In tho camp at Outrow, whoro tho Onrinnn authorities, with a view to securing skilled labor, wero anxious to learn Ilio occupation of tho prisoners, But surely novor imtoru wero Ihoro such callings n trcaclii bender, wnlrhmiik' ciV striker, H inljestono liupoclor, The UurmuiiH gnvo it up, It. Don't bo gaping nt mo llko n fish, Spit It out.' "1 stammered, 'Sir, I know absolute ly nothing. "That's easy to sec,' ho roared 'that stupid face tells mo that. Shut up. Got nut; but I think you aro n d d llnr Just tho same. Back to your battery.' "I saluted and mndo my exit "That night tho captain sunt for us. With fear nnd trembling wo went to his dugout. Ho was nlono, After sn luting wo stood nt attention In front of lilm nnd watted. Ills say wan short Don't you two over got It Into your Is that Morso Is n dead language. heads that Morso Is a dead Inn gun go, I v known It for years. Tho two of you had better got rid of that nervous habit of tapping transmitters; It's dan gerous, That's all.' "We saluted, nnd wore Just going out the door of tho dugout when tho cap tain called up back nnd snld: '"Smoko Goldfinkes? Yes? Well, Uicro are two tins of them on my tnhlo. Go bnck to tho bnttery, nnd keep your tongues between your teeth. Under stand? "Wo understood. "For flvo weeks nftorwnrds our bnt tery did nothing but extra fatigues. Wo wore satisfied and so wero tho men. It was worm It to nut ono over on Old Pepper, to say nothing of tho. injury caused to Frits' feellnirs." When Wilson had finished his story I looked up nnd tho ducout wns Jammed. An artillery cantaln nnd two omccrs nnd also entered nnd stayed for tho finish. Wilson spat out nn enormous quid of tobacco, looked un. saw tho captain, nnd got ns red ns a carnation. Tho cantaln smiled and left Wilson whlsnered to tno "Bllmo mc, Yank. I seo whero I click for crucifixion. Thnt captain Is tho samo ono thnt chucked us Goldtlakcs in his dugout and hero I hnvo been 'chucking mo weight ubout In his hearing. " Wilson never clicked his crucifixion. Empey tells of narrow es cape In tho next Installment (TO UK CONT1NUKD1 JOKE ON SCHOOL VISITOR Fortunately Hamilton Mnble Was Well Able to Appreciate Unconscious Humor of the Children. Tho Into Hamilton W. Stable, -tho well-known American essayist, was ono of thoso genial men who enjoyed a Joko on themselves. Illustrating this phnso of Mr. Mablo's character, It Is' told that when ho was a student Mr. Mnblo mndo nn address In which bo told this story: Ho had visited a school In Philadel phia In which there was a dally flro- drill. The teacher regularly asked tho students, "Children, what would you do If flro wero to break out In this building?" Tho children all repeated in chorus, "Wo would rlso In our places, step Into the aisle, and march quietly out of the building." On the morning when Mr. Mnblo visited tho school, while ho was sitting quietly on the platform, tho teacher stepped be fore the pupils and said, "Children, what would you say If I wero to tell you that Mr. Mablo Is to speak to you this morning? The children, prompt ly replied In chorus, "Wo would rlso In our places, step Into the aisle, and march quietly out of the building." Malda Hill. It Is now moro than a century slnco un English nrmy fought In Italy, and won tho battle of Malda over tho French. Napoleon had vowed to con quer Sicily, and for thnt purposo the French pushed on Into Calabria, and began to make extenslvo preparations. But tho English forces for tho de- feuso of Sicily prepared to deal n blow on the mainland, A forco of 5,1)00 men landed In the bay of St. Einphe- mln, nnd the battalions of tho French fell before tho bayonets of tho Brit ish. Napoleon's hopes wero shattered at a stroke. But tho "dally-breader" from Kllborn traveling Into London, by wny of the Edgwnrd road, never sus pects as ho passes by Malda Hill and Malda Vale, tho origin of tho name. Christian Sclcnco Monitor. They 8uro Would. Homer V. Winn wns talking before tho Indianapolis Advertisers' club about salesmanship, recently, and com mented on tho fact that salespeople wero too ortcn unnatural. "Even tho merchant himself Is often unnatural," tho speaker sifld, "He docs not act In his store ns ho does nt homo, "And If somo of them did," comment- I ono of tho women members of tho ub, "they'd drive their Inst customer cd club. away, Advice to an Author. Tho author who writes that ho liken "tho man or woman crammed with animal spirits, who Isn't afraid to mnko motions, to laugh out loud, to run, to jump, to climb, to mnko n lot of doIbo," might to trade lints with ono who lives under n pair who, nro re- hearsing frr nn Imitation animal vaudeville wtunt, Heattlo PostIiiitlll ISttuQvr, rvmUM uranulalcii cyciius, nit to Sun. Dull atul Wind quickly relieved by Murine r.Vrh CfcRemedy. No Smarting, J nM Eye Comfort. At Your DrujrcUu or by null 60c per llottle. For nook ol the Cvo free mite hit Murine Lye llemedy Co., Chlcntjo. Truck, Atileaobile Trailers , Camping ad Towtag DoubU Your VtUUnty at a SlniU Coat. uATT CIIIPP TR All FR f ft I"A11 SHHI IKAlLtK IU 3At,KM, owe Chinese- Signal, Tho Chinese do not beckon, ns wo do, wlthvtho pnlm of tho hnnd turned up, tho fingers curled nnd tho ludox (lugor successively bonding nnd straightening, Thoy beckon with tho fingers curled downward, swooping tho wholu hand vigorously baok and forth. Undo Ebon. "Too much of do gift of prophecy." said Undo Ebon, "Is dangerous. Do man dnt knows In ndvanco whut hand ho's gwlnotor git In a poker gamo atn' no fit associate." The Old Order Changath. Tho old-fashtonod lovor who used to plunk n guitar under his sweothoart's window now has n son who phonos to lila girl to moot lilm at tho drug storo. Dallas News. Cutlcura Stops Itching. Tho Soap to cleanse and Ointment to rootho and heal most forms of Itching, burning skin nnd scalp affections. Ideal for toilet use. For free samples address, "Cutlcurn, Dept. X, Boston." Sold by druggists and by mall. Soap 1!3, Ointment 23 nnd GO. Adv. To Clear Olulng. Tlo sovorat thicknesses of cotton over tho mouth of a bluing bottlo If you would hnvo tho bluing flow smoothly nnd without dark particles. Best of Rewards. Tho host reward for any faithful work la tho prlvllogo of going pn and proving our faithfulness with moro difficult tasks. Lucy Larcotn. At.I.KNU FOOT lIASi: FOIt Till: TIKMHU. Shaken Into tlio tluieA nnd nrinklnl In tlm foot. lath It give tnt an.l comfort. Ultra tho friction from tho !im ami iirvTvnU hlutrr and tuna IMU. Makr Walking- Accept no nubUI. tut. Sold everyvrhorv. Sit. Enameled Ware. Tho boat wny to cloau onamoled wnru Is to uso a littlo ordinary salt and no soda; this will koop it in now con dition. Can't Do It Alone. If a man over becomes truly cront It la usually tho help of a dovotcd wlfo that la responsible for It Chicago. Dally Nows. Gangway. Sign In Main: Bumnus and Catch- oil. Boston Transcript Dally Thought In general, prldo Is at tho bottom of all great mistakes. Buskin. A NERVOU! BREAKDOWN Miss Kelly Tells How Lydia Jc. f inkham s Vegetable Compound Restored Her Health. Newark. N. J. "For nbout th years 1 sutTcred from nervous break down and pot so weak I could hardly stand, and hud head aches every day. I tried ovorvthlmr I could think of nnd was under n nhv. siclan's caro for two years. A girl friend lind used Lydla E. rinlchnm'a Vcro tnblo Compound and sno told mo about it From tho first day I tookltlbcfrnn ' to fool hotter and now I nm well nnd Ohio to do inn, nnv Jcind of work. I hnva been rocom- mrtnrllriir tlm pound over slnco nnd glvo you my per mission to nuhllah Hi I a im- ' V,i. xy-w n.t.uux, aro ao. Mm at., Newark, Tho remed Tho rooson this famous root and herb medy. Lvdin E. Plnklmm'a v... Compound, was so successful In Miss Kelly's caso was liuemiHn It u, n root ot! ,nor, trouble, restored her to a Por,nu, healthy condition and us a result llt!r nrvou"ness rllsappeared. m M fit LOSSES SURELY PREVENTED IjLALW CUTTIR'S BIACKIIO PILLS w firtn, ifiuiii B onttio iu . WrlU lot lx,t Irt i4 iMtlowaidt. . n,wriiimifi rmi, ai,w r Im MT lalhtW, I til Cuiim'i tiwulMl tliMmt, 7m iflwlir frl CuiUf i4ilii ii wikli(,uMIM la Vii nm Ami Mmiui im4mMihU ' in nrnut, im ftrtur uurnwy, UiM, CtHftrsM