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About Eagle Valley news. (Richland, Or.) 191?-1919 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 6, 1917)
A GOOD POSITION Thrtt It eood petlllon-oi'iwitunlly-ln crwird tywlin you are ready, U ut help yiiuiww. qKk lit you wanftu I and null loday. Catalog Ira. ItlKOIUmta tOMIIIria rumii iiMirur -HflST TIMIT cr rici tunista Nam , AddrtM -miiurxta -comimcui tuetui -ivtar muui -till I Ml -covit umm nusiNUs college Portland, Or. Royal D-Lite Comfortable LADIES shoes No 2.50 No Less More All Styles All Sizes Royal Shoe Co. 14H Fourth St. Near Munlmn A CJ VU I. K,U U: It Doe Not Craw So Ther Is only one way In get swiil Violin Without Orrnl K. ln, which Ir Hend In your Old lUdOneaiid have it made Into mi Old feiod t)n. Kstl- mlM given frH. All work guerantml, Kril lo T 1 1 1' rM II Trii nr nib wwhiui !S7 It WsiUgtM St. MM. Or. MOTORCYCLES and BICYCLES lloii;lit, rold nml ropnlrcd. Sup plies of all kinds. Out of town truile it specialty. Write us. R. H. BLOCKER 270 Taylor Street Portlnnd, Oregon FARMS AND BUSINESS SOLD I)ijrou want tnll your farm, home or kuilnees fur cash? Wrl lo CAItTUt REALTY CO.. 004 Buchanan Building, I'ortUnJ, Oregon ft ELECTRIC MOTORS Baualit, SotJ, llent.d anil Repaired wai.kku klkctkiu wuiikh Ilurcalde. cor. lOllt. I'ortUnJ, Ore. REDUCED FREIGHT RATE8 To iiml fnm. all point on houtehohl (.!, pUno, kmt kiitiiitkutiltcrfl. Informstloii cheerfully civn. Pacific Coast FowardlDgCoMMJSC HIDES. PELTS, CASCARA BARK, WOOL AND MOHAIR. tit tut tl ton hue. Wnte lor price I and ib'pplni tut The H. f. Norton Co. rimi ore, seitttt. wi Good, No Matter What. Tho Officer (nftor n complaint) Thin tea's nil right What's tho com plaint? Tommy It ain't tea, sir; It's ntool Tho Officer And very nlco ntool London Sketch. Optical Aatonlahmentn, "Seeing la believing," said tho ready nindo philosopher. "Not nlwayn, when you aro looking at tho movios." Washington Star. Falling In Line. "I am going to a propnredncBB moot ing, my dear, of our club." "All right, William. You had better leavo mo nil tho looso change you have nbout you." Haltlmoro American. HAWTHORNE AUTO SCHOOL The only AutomoUIn Bchoot on Iho Pa cific Coast maintaining R. Tractor I)pt. thing Holt ralrrplllar, C I. Itcat Tracklayer and Wheel Traetora, both In tho achool and operating flM. 411 Hawthorn. At. Portland. Ore. nf IVrj Vcnl, Pork, Beef, Hll Poultry, Butter, Eugi nnd Farm Produce to the Old Rellablo Kverdlng houa with record of 45 ye ara of Squam Dealing., and U aa.urcd of TO I MARKET PRICES. F. M. CRONKH1TE 45-47 Front Slrt Portland, Oraion Spray-a-Cow Keeps off flies or money back. $1 n pillion from your doalor, or ordor by mull. PLUMMER DRUG CO. Third and Madison, Portland, Or. Portland Y.M. G. A. Auto School Day and night classes. Expert training In repairing, drlvlntr and machln work. Including forge, lath, ahapcr, drill press, tractor, ate. Tim unlimited, COMPE. TKNT CHAUFFEURS AND MKCHAN ICS SUPPLIED. WUITK US. P. N. U. No. 30, 1010 WHEN writing to advertisers, please BB- I " tlon thta paper. Oft ton QUESTION OF FINANCE MORE WAYS THAN ONE OF (JET TINQ A CHECK CASHED. Proof That There la Always, to the Ingenious, n Possibility of Oettlna Around the Soul-Chllllng Edict "Insufficient Funda." Ho wan In high nplrltn ns ho strolled whlstllni! down Control Park Wont. It was mirlnit! bin hoalth wan good tlto nun wan shining brightly, tho blnls In IIki nark worn twittering mor rily. and In n poknr sennlon tho night boforo ho had won S270, or wnicn wan In ennh. In nn Innldo pocket a check for S200, tho bnlnnco of Ills win nines, nostlud ncatnnt bin heart. J In renched tho bank on which tho 1200 check hnd boon drawn ana blltholy Mwunn through tho tloorn, in domed (ho paper nnd presented It it tho paying tellor'n window. Thoro wns n pnuso while tho toller got busy with bin books. In a raoraont ho wan back nt tho window: "Insufllclcnt funds," ho said. Tho sun wnn obneured behind black clouds, tho birds In tho pork wcro squawking horribly, forgotten pains began to remind our hero of their exlnlonco. If tho maker of tho check was tho kind of man who would glvo nn N. O chock to pay a poker loss, ho won nuroly not tho kind of man wbo wouia mnko good later, thought tho holder of tho worthlcBs paper. Then ho had an Idon. Ho asked tho tollor how much tho check's maker had on deposit, but tho teller refused to Inform him; Bay ing It wan ngnlnst tho rulen. Over on a nark bonch our hero pon dered 1Mb problem. At length ho reach cd n solution. Tho check's maker was In tho tho- atrlcnt business. Our hero visited n prenn ngent of his acquaintance nnd got n couplo of complimentary tickets. Then ho visited tho bank again. From tho special guard ho learned tho pay ing teller's namo. Then ho wroto a nolo to tho paying tcllor, enclosing tho theater tickets, and to It ho signed tho namo of tho maker of tho check. Ho sent tho noto and tickets by special mcssongor to tho tcllor. Then after waiting half an hour ho called up tho bank and asked to talk to tho tollor. When ho wns connected ho gavo tho namo of tho maker of tho check, tnlkcd pleasantly for a mo mont about tho theater tickets ho had Just sont, nnd then naked bow largo bin balanco was. Tho teller, glad to do tho favor to ono who had Just sent him two thcator tickets, answorod. "Ono hundred nnd forty-throo dol lars," ho said. Our horo after n comment or two hung up tho receiver and walkod straight around to tho bank. Horo ho questioned tho rccolvlng teller to mako suro thoro would be no slip In his plan. "Can I doposlt monoy to nnothor man's account?" ho asked. "Certainly," said tho receiving tell or. "Wo'ro nhvnys glnd to got monoy from ovorybody." Our hero then mada out a deposit slip for $C0, under tho namo of tho maker of tho check, nnd shovod tho Blip and SCO through tho rocolvlng toller's window. Then ho walked to tho paying tcllor with his $200 chock. "I'd Ilko cash for this," ho Bald. Tho pnylng tollor looked at tho check nnd ropentod his "Insufficient funds," but our hero said loftily: "Pnrdon, but a doposlt which mnkos tho check good wns Just rocolvod." Tho paying tollor lookod It up nnd found this to bo correct, so thoro was nothing left for him to do but pay out tho monoy. At a cost or $C0 our horo hnd mnda n bad check for $200 good. Again was tho sun shining nnd ngaln woro tho birds twittering. Mongoose Rat-Catcher. Accidentally I found tho chemist's raothod of dealing with tho rat. Ills Bhop was ono prosumes full enough or poison to Bend tho whole street to tho cemetery. Hut ho plnnod his faith to n small nnlmnl. which wns tnkimr a Blostn on tho best chnlr, A inon- gooso, ho axplnlucd, as ho carofully Btrokod Ub tall. Now how inonv inon. gocBo (If that Ib tho plural) aro ro- quirou to ileal with how many rats? And whoro do you got n mongooso, and what do you food him an if h wants nnythlng but rats? London Chronicle How to Cool Water. TruVolora In dosort lauds carry wa- tor bogs of honvy canvas or llnon duck. ThoBo bngs, whon filled, con atnntly "sweat" or oxudo onough mois ture to cool tho contonts of tho bag by evaporations. Wot canteens do tho samo. A covorod pall or other vossol may bo used; wrap cloths around It, kcop thorn wot, and hang In a curront of air, Outing. Panama Is rising three feet In oacb JAPS KNOW NO PROFANITY Their Language Contains No "Swear words," Unfortunately So Com mon In the West Tho Jap In always pollto, but onco In a whllo ho slips from graco and when ho does ho is up against It, for thoro aro no swearwords In tho Jnpanoso language nays a writer In Lcslio'a Wookly. When a Japanese meets you ho bows tbroo times and taken off bin hat, but docs not shako hands. Whon 1io greets you bin first concern I about your anccntorn and noxt about your stomach. It would bo almost on opon Insult for ono Japanese to meet nnothor without asking him how bin stomach fared. On tho third bow bo aslui: "This morning, how Is It with your bonorablo lnsldo7" As you corno up on your third bow you answer to tho effect that tho placo mentioned In doing an well as could bo expected nnd In tum ask him what nown ho has from tho front. Thoa bo lifts his hat again and says: "Your delightful head this morning, I hopo It hnvo no commotion." When you tell him that you aro pleased to report that It feels woll this morning ho oHka nbout a fow generations of bonorablo ances tors and then you aro frco to talto up tho weather. Kvon though they aro elaborately pollto, onco In n whllo ono Japancno will got mad at another. Their anger kindles slowly at first, finally fanning to a blaze that knows no staying. Hut oven though thcro is a torrent of emo tion seething In bin soul there aro no words to glvo It vent; It keeps surging harder nnd bardor until It throws asldo all restraint and gives up all Idea of decency by putting Into ono phraso all his bitterness and snapping squaroly Into tho other man's aston lahod faco the worst thing that can bo said In tho wholo language: "Your stomach Is not on straight! " This is tho final insult; nothing moro can bo added ho has cast tho glovo. Thcro Ib nothing loft for him to do but to glvo his enemy a cutting look, turn on his heol and bnughtlly clap-clap away on bis woodon shoes. If Civilians Learn t. Shoot. Civilian rlllo clubs aro latoly re ceiving much attention. They bavo dovolopcd ft number of men who aro oxcollont shots with 22-caliber rifles Indoors, at a dlstanco of CO to 75 fccL Comparatively fow, howovor, aro ablo to handle tbo modorn blgb-pow orcd J0-cn!lbor United States maga' zlno rlllo and hit a target 1,000 yards nwny. Moreover, ovon woro all our men good shots, It must bo rem cm bored that shooting Is merely ono of tho Important parts of a soldier's training, and that It la a very small part Tho soldier who can do nothing but shoot haB nbout tho samo rclatlvo valuo as a polo player who can sit on a fonco and wlold a mallet skill fully, but who can't rldo a horso. CapL Itlchard Stockton, Jr., In Col llor'a Woekly. Sunday and Holiday Sorlno. Ib It not Izaak Walton wbo tolls nf a rlvor in Palestine that novor flowed on Sunday? A strictly voracious story to match this la told in a recent numuor or tho l'rocoedlngs of tbo Connecticut Socloty of Civil End neors by Mr. Robort E. Horton. Ii appears that in tho rod aandstono of tho Passaic vauoy moro la a spring, located in a picnic ground, which for. morly flowod porpotually. its habits unvo cnangca, anu it now flows only on Sundays and holidays. Tho mys torv is easily oxplnlncd: A numhnr nf ortoslan wells woro bored Into tho Bandstono In tho vicinity of tho spring to supply water to adjacent silk rtvn. Ing establishments. Except on Sun days and holidays, whon tho nnm nro not running, tho artesian slopa la drawn below tho lovel of tho snrine outlot and tho spring ceases to flow. Scientific American. Book of Mormon. Joseph Smith published hln known as "Tno uook or Mormnn" in tlto yoar 1830. Ho claimed that tbo work was a transcript under divinn guldanco, of cortaln goldon platos bunoa m control now York, tho exist onco or which had boon oupornaturally rovcalod to him by an "angol from hoavon." When Moving Rugs. In packing rugs, whon moving, i ni. wnys sprinkle with powdortd alum nnd fold a fow moth balls in wbon rolling them. Then, tt not used im mediately, as Is snmotlmos tho enso, thoro is no dancer of tholr hnino- nn. stroyad by posts. Tho Mother's Mag. izluo. Acquiring Mohammedan Title. Any Mobammodan wbo commits tha wholo of tho Koran to momory Ib giv en tho tttlo of Haflz. Cincinnati En qulror. Worry' Evil Effects. Wbat rust Is tolron, worry Is to those bodies of ours It corrodes thorn Leader" and Repeater" Shot Shells For the tiigh flyers, or tho low flyers, "Leader" and "Repeater' shells have the reach, spread and penetra tion. Their great sale is due to these qualities, which insure a full bag-. Made in many gauges and loads. BE SURE TO ASK FOR THEVJ BRAND iiii,ii,i,,,iiy.i.u.. LINK'S BUSINESS COLLEGE FALL TERM 0PEH8 TUESDAY, SEPT. 5TH. New Classes Will Be Started Then. Many Students Already Enrolled. Ask For Catalogue. Enroll Now. A. T. LINK, Principal. Phono Main 6083 ... Tilford Building Tenth and Morrison Sts., Portland, Ore. Comforter. ' Dr. Rates Dlngham of Boston, on his return homo from doing ambulance work in franco, was asked by a re-, porter his opinion of a German note, j ' Thcro Is no more real satisfaction, tho distinguished physician replied, "or comfort in it than there was in the blacksnakc's ruse. "A Pike county mother once left her little ono seated outside the shack and pulling on a full milk bottlo when a blacksnnkc came gliding up. "Tbo snako nestled close to the child, drew the rubber nipple from its mouth and proceeded to drink the milk; but at tho same time the snake did not forget to slip the end of its tall gently between tho infant's Hps by way of a comforter." Rub It In Thoroughly. A sprain or strain should have im mcdlato attention to check the swell ing. Rub on, and rub in thoroughly Hanford's Dalsam of Myrrh and you should have quick relief. Always havo a bottlo on hand for accidents. Adv. Plain Enough. "How do you llko America, count?" "Quito much, but your figures of speech nre sqmowhat hard to under stand. Now, when tt dawns upon you i, "You begin to sco dayllgUt!" ex plained the other man. Louisville Courier-Journal. Wisdom. During a lesson on elementary com position a little girl read the following as her effort: "Onco a Penny nnd a Shilling met in a man's pocket. The Shilling turn ed up its noso nt the Penny, nnd said, scornfully: " 'Why, I nm worth a dozen of you. " 'Yes,' said tho Penny, 'but even at that I am a good bit better than you aro. I go every Sunday to church, and you never do.'" London Tlt-Dlts. Use Hanford's Balsam when all else falls. Adv. Same Line. "When I was a boy," said the gray- haired physician, who happened to be in a reminiscent mood, "I wanted to bo a soldlor; but my parents persuad ed mo to study medicine." "Oh. well," rejoined tbo sympathetic druggist, "such is life. Many a man with wholcsalo aspirations has to con tent himself with a retail business." London Tit-Bits. To keen clean an healthv take Dr. Piorco'a Pleasant Pellets. They retal iate liver, bowels nnd stomach. Now's Their Chance. "And so you aro convinced, my friend," naked tho curnto, "that there is n place of eternal punishment? ' "I nm," replied tho uncharitable parishioner. "There's nothing In this j worm uau cnougii tor sumo puoiuo. -Browning's Magazine, For calks uso Hanford's- Balsam. ,dv. Poor Picking. "What'a tho matter?" asked tho first flea. "You looked starved." Thoy aro making these toy dogs bo natural," explained tho other flea, "that I arranged to summer on ono of them by mistake" Louisville Courier- Journal. Innuendo. "Wombat says ho tries to put ns good a faco on things as possible," "He's tho man to paint your por trait, old top." Kansas City Journal. CJ;-.Mi0l Granulated Eyelids "tlr" Eyes inflamed by expo surcto Sen. Dcsland wind quickly relieved by Mariaa t) e Bemedy. No Smarting; lust Eye Comfort. At Your Druggist's 50c per JJottlc. Marias Ejo SalveinTubci25c ForOookotlbeEyefreeailc Druccists or Murlae Eye Bemedy Co.. Chicago WILL YOU BUY NEW TIKES NOW or make your old one last through the winter. Write ui about this. OREGON VULCANIZING CO, ISO Wuhinston St Portland. Ore. Vindicated Self-Esteem. "The "Woggses seem to havo a high opinion of themselves." "Yes. You sec the samo cook has consented to remain in their employ for three or four years. So they feel entitled to think that they aro rather nice people." Washington Star. Ask your dealer for the freo book let, "Useful Hints for Horso Owners,' issued by G. C. Hanford Mfg. Co., Syra cuse, N. Y., manufacturers of Han ford's Balsam of Myrrh. Adv. No Alibi. "The war Is doing me a good turn, anyhow." "In what way?" "I don't have to think up excuses for not taking my family to Europe this summer." Detroit Freo Press. IF Y.OU HAVE RHEUMATISM you should try Anti-Uric, the famous remedy made from Roots and Berries. It is guaranteed to cure this cruel dis ease in every stage. We want every reader of this paper who is suffering from Rheumatism in any form to try this discovery. Every package guaranteed or money refund ed. Price $1.60 prepaid, or we will send by Parcel Post C. O. D. Circu lars and convincing testimony free. Address ANTI-URIC CO., 102 Sher wood Building, San Francisco. BUSINESS AND STENOGRAPHIC SCHOOL Oursmduates ara occupying enviable poet tlons. The teaching process la different from ordinary business schools. Thorough. Practi cal. Individual. SCHOOL FOR MEN ONLY. Address The Registrar, Y. M. C A., Portland. Oregon, and get detailed Information. Oregon Hernia Institute Rupture treated mechanically. Private fitting rooms. Itigheat testimonials. Re sult guaranteed. Call or writs. JOHNSON & UMBARCER 411-412 Alislty Building. Portland, Oregon The Mathews Welding & Cutting Co., SOI Everett St. Near Ninth, Portland, Ore. Portable Eleclric and Oiy-Acetylene Plant Ready at all Times. Oay-Acetylene Welding and Cutting. Welding by Thermit, Electricity, Oxy-Acetylene. Welding of Sheet Steel. Cast Iron, Aluminum Brass, Etc. Boiler and Marine Work a Specialty, ALSO AGENTS; The Henderaon.WilUa Welding and Cutting Co., St. Louis, U. B. A. Federal Brass Works. Stst St. & KedxU Ave.. Chicago. entury. Soloclod.