I
A GOOD POSITION
Tim U od poJllon-n?tlMnlty-ln'
croifd ptrvlin you it rclr. ut htln
you now. Check what yuu want to t and null
lOUSI, UUW IIH,
muumi
MtUHUUl TUMH
mur riNiuM
-ItlllMlN
COUIt HWIU
-rntl HMHUT
iirtsr mm
WflH MlNltU
Nam
AiUttM,
UU3INC33 COUXGi:
1'ortlaml, Or.
Royal D-Lite
Comfortable
LADIES SHOES
No CA No
All Stylci All Sizes
Royal Shoe Co.
148 Fourth St.
Near Murrlton
A Coi rt h IWt S:
It Doe Not Crow So.
There In only cm way to w't a
rorl Violin Wllhuut rt K.
wn, which U: Bend In your
ma lua tin una nv u men
lnton OM Coed On. htl
niklcs glrn trvm. All work
Buaranler.1. rUrol lo
1 ii rnt ti Tru -
TrifcUjrh
I V w ft. I .
MOTORCYCLES BICYCLES
Bought, cold nnd ropalrcd. Sup
plies of nil kinds. Out of town
trmlu n specialty. Writo un.
R. H. BLOCKER
270 Taylor Street Portland, Oregon
FARMS AND BUSINESS SOLD
Doyou want to ll your farm, horn or Ini.lnes
for riuh? Writ lo CAItTfJl UKAl.TY CO..
004 Buchanan ItulMIni, Portland, Oron
ELECTRIC MOTORS
llouthl, 3oU, ILnl.d and RpIrJ
llunulde. cor. loth. Portland. Or,
REDUCED FREIGHT RATES
To and from nit poInU on houMhoU rood. pUno,
iul kutumubltra, InfumifttWn cLWr fully elvtn.
Pacific Coast Fo warding Co,, W&Mr
HIDES, PELTS. GASCARA BARK,
WOOL AND MOHAIR.
We tint ti os int. Write tor prices ud ttipeloftitt
the H. F. Norton Co. Ponum ore, tutu, wo
Oood, No Matter What.
Tho Officer (after a complaint)
Tli in tea s an rigni. wnais mo com'
plaint?
Tommy It ain't tea, sir; It's fitool
Tho Offlcor And vory nlco stool
London Sketch.
Optical Astonishment.
"Seeing In beHovlng." said Uio ready
made plilloBophor.
"Not nlwnys, whon you aro looking
at tho movlos.' Wnsnlngton star.
Falling In Line.
"I am going to a proparodncss moot
ing, my dear, of our club."
"All right, William. You had bettor
Icavo mo all tho Ioobo change you have
about you.' Baltlmoro American.
HAWTHORNE AUTO SCHOOL
The only Automobile School on the Pa
clAc Cout maintaining ' Tratlor
IXpt. Using Holt Caterpillar, C. I. Ut
Tracklayer and WhMlTractora, both In tha
.chool and opvraUng flld.
413 Hawthorn At. Portland. Or.
SHIP
Veal, Pork, Deef,
Poultry, Butter, tea
and Farm Produco
to th Old Unliable Kvardlng hou with a
record of 45 year of Hquar Dealings, and
U M.utvd of TOI MAJtKET PRICES.
F. M. CRONKHITE
45-47 Front Strt Portland, Orton
Spray-a-Cow
Keeps off fllca or money back. $1
n gullon from your denlor, or order
by mail. PLUMMER DRUG CO.
Third and Madi.on, Portland, Or.
Portland Y. M. C. A. Auto School
Day and night ctassas. ICzptrt tralnlnit
In repairing, drlvlnir and machlna work.
Including forge, laths, ahaper, drill press,
tractors, to. Tim unlimited, COMl'K
TKNT CIIAUPFKUItS AND MECHAN
ICS SUPPLIED. WHITE U3.
P, N. U.
No, SO, 1010
WIIEN wrlUng to adrerUun, picas Mas. I
" tlan this paper.
IWUndl S5
Orrcnn
QUESTION OF FINANCE
MORE WAYS THAN ONE OF OET-
TINQ A CHECK CASHED.
Proof That There Is Always, to the
Ingenious, a Possibility of Oettlng
Around the Soul-Chilling Edict
"Insufficient Funds."
Ho wan In high spirits on ho strollod
wblstlliiK doiyn Contrnl Park West.
It wnn nitrliiK: his himlth wan good
tho nun was shining brightly, tho
birds In tho mirk wore twittering mor
rlly, and In u poker session tho night
before ho had won IZ7G, or which i
was In cash. In an Insldo pocket a
check for S200, tho balnnco of his win
nltiirii. ncatled rtRiilnst his heart.
Ho renchod tho bank on which tho
$200 check had been drawn ana
blithely swunir through tho doors, In
dorsed tho paper and presented It at
tho paying toller's window.
Thoro wan a pause whllo tho teller
got busy with his books, In n moment
ho was back at tho window:
"Insufficient funds," ho said.
Tho nun was obscured bohlnd black
clouds, tho birds in tho pork woro
squawking horribly, forgotton pains
bogon to remind our horo of tholr
exlstonco.
If the maker of tho check was tho
kind of man who would glvo an N. o,
check to pay a poker loss, ho wob
nuroly not tho kind of man who wouiu
mako good later, thought tho holdor of
tho worthless paper. Then ho hna an
Idea. Ho asked tho tellor how much
tho check's mnkor had on doponlt, but
tho toller refused to Inform hlra: say
ing It wns against tho rules.
Over on a nark bench our hero pon
dored his problem. At length ho reach
ed n solution.
Thn check's mnkor was In tho the
atrical business. Our hero visited a
press agent of his acquaintance and
got a couple of complimentary tickets,
Thon ho visited tho bank again. From
tho special guard ho learned tho pay
ing tcllor's namo.
Thon ho wroto a noto to tho paying
tollor, enclosing tho theater tickets,
and to It ho signed tho namo of tho
maker of tho check. Ho sent tho noto
and tickets by special mcssoncor to
the teller.
Then after waiting half an hour ho
called up tho bank and asked to talk
to tho tellor. When ho was connected
ho gnvo tho namo of tho maker of
tho check, talked pleasantly for a mo
ment about tha thootor tlckots ho hod
Just sent, and thon asked how largo
hts balnnco wns.
Tho toller, glad to do tho favor to
ono who hnd Just sent him two theater
tlckots, nnswerod.
"Ono hundred and forty-throo dol
lars," ho said.
Our horo nftor a comment or two
hung up tha receiver and walked
straight around to tho bank.
Hero ho questioned tha recotvlng
toller to mako euro thoro would bo
no slip In his plan.
"Can I deposit money to anothor
man b account?" ho asked.
"Certainly' said tho receiving toll
or. "Wo'ro always glad to got monoy
from everybody."
Our horo thon made out a doposlt
slip for $00, under tho namo of tho
mnkcr of tho chock, and shoved tho
slip nnd $C0 through tho rccolvlng
teller s window.
Thon ho walked to tho paying tollor
with his $200 chock.
"I'd llko caBh for this," ho said.
Tho paying tollor looked at the
chock and ropcatod his "insufficient
funds," but our hero Bald loftily:-
"Pardon, but a deposit which makos
tho chock good was Just rocolvod."
Tho paying tellor lookod It up and
found this to bo correct, bo thoro was
nothing left for him to do but pay out
tho monoy. At a coBt of $G0 our hero
had mado a bad chock for $200 good.
Again was tho sun shining and again
woro tho birds twittering.
Mongoose Rat-Catcher.
Accidentally I found tho chemist's
method of dcallnc with Mm ml in
shop was ono proaumos full enough
of poison to sond tho wholo street to
tho comotory. liut ho plnnod his faith
to a smau animal, which was taking
a slosta on tha host chair. A mon
goose ho oxplnlnod. as ho carofullv
stroked Its tall. Now how many mon-
gooso (ir that Is tho plural) aro ro
qulrod to donl with how many rats?
And whoro do you got a monirooso.
and whnt do you food him on If ho
wants anything but rats? London
Chronicle
How to Cool Water.
Trnvclors In dcBcrt land H rnrrv vn.
tor bags of heavy canvas or llnon
duck. Thoao bags, whon Mind. eon.
atantly "swont" or oxudo enough mols
turo to cool tho contents of tho bag
by evaporations. Wot canteens do tha
samo. A covorod pail or other yobboI
may bo usod; wrap cloths around it,
kcCp thorn wot, and hang In a current
of air. Outing.
Panama is rising throo feet la each
century.
JAPS KNOW NO PROFANITY
Their Language Contains No "Swear.
words," Unfortunately bo com
mon In the West
Tho Jap Is always polito, but onco in
a whllo ho slips from grace and when
ho does ho Is up against It, for thoro
aro no swearwords In tho Japanoso
language nays a writer In Lcsllo's
Wookly. Whon a Japanoso meets you
ho bowo throo times and takes off his
hat, but docs not shako hands. Whon
ho greets you his first concern Is
nbout your ancestors nnd next about
your stomach. It would bo almost an
opon Insult for ono Japanoso to meet
anothor without asking him how his
stomach fared. On tho third bow ho
asks: "This morning, how Is It with
your honorablo inside?'' As you corao
up on your third bow you answer to
tho effect that tho placo mentioned is
dolug as well as could bo expected
and In turn ask him what nows bo
has from tho fronL Thorn ho lifts his
hat again and says: "Your delightful
head thin morning, I hopo it have no
commotion." When you toll him that
you aro pleased to report that it feels
well this morning ho asks about a
fow generations of honorablo ances
tors and then you aro frco to tako up
tho weather.
Even though thoy aro elaborately
polito, onco In a whllo one Japanese
will got mad at anothor. Their anger
kindles slowly at first, finally fanning
to a blazo that knows no staying. Out
ovon though Micro Is a torrent of emo
tion seething In bis soul there aro no
words to glvo It vent; It koops surging
harder and harder until It throws
asldo all restraint and gives up all
Idea of decency by putting Into ono
phraso all bis blttorncss and snapping
squarely into tho other man s aston
lulled faco tho worst thing that can bo
snld in tho wholo languago: "Your
stomach is not on straight!" This Is
tho final insult; nothing moro can bo
added ho has cast tho glove There
Is nothing loft for him to do but to
glvo his enemy a cutting look, turn on
his heel and haughtily clap-clap away
on his wooden shoos.
If Civilians Learn U Shoot.
Civilian rlllo clubs aro lately re
colvlng much attention. Thoy bavo
developed a number of men who aro
oxcollcnt shots with 22-callber rifles,
indoors, at a distance of CO to 76
focL
Comparatively fow, however, arc
ablo to handlo tho modern high-pow
ered S0-callbor TJnltod States inaga
zlno rlllo and hit a target 1,000 yards
away. Moreover, oven woro all our
men good shots, it must bo remem
bored that shooting is merely ono of
tho Important parts of a Boldlcr's
training, and that it is a very small
part.
Tho soldier who can do nothing but
shoot has about, tho samo relatlvo
valuo as a polo player who can sit
on a fonco and wlold a mallot skill
fully, but who can't rldo a borso.
CnpL ulchard Stockton. Jr., In Col
ller's Wookly.
8unday and Holiday Sprlna.
Ib it not Izaak Walton who toll, nf
a river. In Palostlno that never flowed
on 8undar? A strictly vnmpinim
story to match this Is told In a recent
numoor oi too rrocoeaings of the
Connecticut Society of Civil Pm-i.
noora by Mr. Robort E. Hnrtnn it
appears that In tho red sandstone of
tna rassaic vauov mora is n nrinr
located In a nlcnlc cround. which tnr.
morly flowod perpotually. Its habits
navo cnangcu, ana it now flows only
on Sundays and holidays. Tho mya
tory Is easily oxplalned: A number of
artoslan wolls woro borod Into tho
sandstono In tho vicinity of tho spring
to sunoly water to adlacent nllir tun
ing establishments. Except on Sun
days and holidays, when tho pumps
aro not running, tho artoslan slope- Is
urawn ooiow tno iuvoi o: tno spring
outlot and tho spring ceases to flow.
Scientific American.
Book of Mormon.
Josoph Smith published his work
known as "Tho Book of Mormon" in
Uio year 1S30. Ho claimed that tho
work was a transcript, under dlvtno
guidance of certain goldon platos
burlod In contrnl Now York, tho exist-
onco of which had boen supernaturally
roveaioa to mm by an angol from
hoavon."
When Moving Rugs.
In nacklnir rues, whon movfnr- i ni.
- - I --ot
wnvs snrlnklo with nowdornri ninm
and fold a tow moth balls In when
rolling tnom. Then, If not usod Im
mediately, as is Bomotlmoa tho caso,
thoro Is no dancer of tholr hnimr h.
Btroyod by posts. Tho Mothor's Mag-
.sine.
Acquiring Mohammedan Title.
Any Mohnmmodan who commits it..
whnln nf thn Tfnrnn tn mnmnmt Is i
on tho tttlo of Haflz. Cincinnati En
qulrer.
Worry's Evil Effects.
What rust Is to Iron, worry is to
thoso bodies of ours It corrodes them
Selected.
iHCHSSWt.
mm
ti
Leader and
Shot Shells
For the hich flyers, or the low flyers, "Leader" and
"Repeater' shells have the reach, spread and penetra
tion. Their great sale 13 due to these qualities, which
insure a full bag. Made in many gauges and loads.
BB SURE TO ASK FOR TUB W BRAND
LINK'S BUSINESS COLLEGE
FALL TERM OPENS TUESDAY, SEPT. 5TH.
New Classes Will Be Started Then.
Many Students Already Enrolled.
Ask For Catalogue. Enroll Now.
A. T. LINK, Principal.
Phone Main 5083 ... Tllford Building
Tenth and Morrison Sts., Portland, Ore.
Comforter.
Dr. Dates Bingham of Boston, on
his return homo from doing ambulance
work in France, was nsked by a re
porter his opinion of a German note.
"There is no moro real satisfaction,"
tho distinguished physician replied,
"or comfort in it than there was in
tho blacksnake's ruse.
"A Pike county mother once left
her littlo one seated outside the shack
and pulling on a full milk bottle when
a blacksnakc camo gliding up.
"Tho snako nestled close to the
child, drew tho rubber nipple from its
mouth and proceeded to drink tho
milk; but at tho samo time the snake
did not forget to slip the end of its
tall gently between tho Infant's lips
by way of a comforter."
Rub It In Thoroughly.
A sprain or strain should have im
medlato attention to check the swell
lng. Rub on, and rub in thoroughly
Hanford s Balsam of Myrrh and you
should have quick relief. Always bavo
a bottlo on band for accidents. Adv
Plain Enough.
"How do you llko America, count?"
"Quito much, but your figures of
speech aro somewhat bard to under
stand. Now, when It dawns upon you
"You begin to bco daylight!" ex
plained tbo other man. Louisville
Courier-Journal.
Wisdom.
During a lesson on elementary com
position a little girl read tho following
as her effort:
"Onco a Penny and a Shilling met
in a man's pocket. Tho Shilling turn
ed up Its nose at tho Penny, and said,
scornfully:
" 'Why, I am worm a dozen or you."
"'Yes.' said the Penny, 'but even at
that I am a good bit better than you
aro. I go every Sunday to church, and
you never do.'" London Tit-Bits.
Uso Hanford's Balsam when all clso
falls. Adv.
Same Line.
"Whon I was a boy," sold tho gray-
hatred physician, who happened to bo
in a romlnlscent mood, "I wanted to
bo a soldier: but my parents persuad
ed mo to study medicine."
"Oh. well." rejoined the sympathetic
drugglst,"such Is life. Many a man
with wholcsalo aspirations has to con
tent himself with a retail business."
London Tit-Bits.
Tn Irnon ilnnn nn hnnlUiv tnlco Dr.
Picrco'a Pleasnnt Pellets. They regu
late Hvor, bowels nnd stomach.
Now's Their Chance.
"And so you nro convinced, my
friend," nsked tho curate, "that there
Is a placo of eternal punlshmont?"
"I am," replica tno uncnantaDio
narlshlonor. "There s nothing in this
world bad enough for some pooplo."
Browning's Magazine
For calks uso Hanford's Balsam,
Adv.
Poor Picking.
"What's tho matter?" nskod tho
first flea. "You looked starved."
"Thoy aro making tneso toy tiogs
so natural," explalnod tho othor flea,
"that I arranged to summer on ono of
them by mistake" Loutsvlllo Courier-
Journal.
Innuendo.
"Wombat says ho tries to put as
good a face on things as possible."
"Ho's tho man to paint your por
trait, old top." Kansas City Journal.
Repeater9
S Granulated Eyelids.
UFO Ey" inflamed by expo,
ture to Sua. Dost znd let
quickly relieved by M arise.
E) e Rsaedy. No Smarting,
lust Eve Comfort. At
Your Druggirt'e 50c per Bottle. HnrlflC Eye
SalveinTubej25c ForOeokellaeEyeFreeaJc
j Druggist or Murise Eye Ceaedy Co., Cokafo
WILL YOU BUY NEW TIRES NOW
or make your old one but through)
tho wntcr. Write ua about this.
OREGON VULCANIZING CO,
MO Wuhinzton S U Portland. Or.
.4B -I
Vindicated Self-Esteem.
"Tho Woggses seem to have a high
opinion of themselves." ? ,
"Ye3. You see the samo cook has
consented to remain in their employ
for three or four years. So they feel
entitled to think that they are rather
nice people." Washington Star.
Ask your dealer for the free book;,
let, "Useful Hints for Horse Owners,"
issued by G.-C. Hanford Mfg. Co., Syra
cuse, N. Y., manufacturers of Han
ford's Balsam of Myrrh. Adv.
No Alibi.
"Tho war is doing mo a good turn,
anyhow."
"In what way?"
"I don't have to think up excuses
for not taking my family to Europe
this summer." Detroit Free Press.
IF YOU HAVE
RHEUMATISM
you should try Anti-Uric, the famous
remedy nssde from Roots and Berries.
It is guaranteed to cure- this cruel dis
ease in every stage.
We want every reader of this puper
who is suffering from Rheumatism in
any form to try this discovery. Every
package guaranteed or money refund
ed. Price $1.50 prepaid, or we will
send by Parcel Post C. O. D. Circu
lars and convincing testimony free.
Address ANTI-URIC CO., 102 Sher
wood Building, San Francisco.
BUSINESS AND STENOGRAPHIC
SCHOOL
Our Graduate are occupying enviable post,
tions. Th teaching process Is different fron
ordinary business schools. Thorough, Practi
cal. Individual. SCHOOL FOR MEN ONLY.
Address Tha Registrar. Y. M. C A., Portland.
Or.ro n, and iret detailed Information.
Oregon Hernia Institute
Rupture treated mechanically. Privats
fitting rooms. Highest tcaUmonlala. Ra
aults guaranteed. Call or write.
JOHNSON & UMBARGER
411-412 Alltkr Duildln. Portland. Orron
The Mathews Welding:
& Cutting Co.,
S91 Everett St. Near Ninth. Portland, Ore.
Portable Eleclric and Oiy-Acely!ene Plant.
heady at all Times.
OxT-Actyln Welding and Cutting. Wl3lna
by Thermit, EUctriclty, Oxy-Acatyl.n.
Welding of Sht Steal, Cast Iron, Aluminum
Brail, Etc. BolUr and Marin Work
a Specialty.
ALSO AGENTS: The Henderaon-WUUs Welding
and Cutting Co.. St. Loula. U. 8. A. Fed era
Ilrass Works, Jlt St, & Kedil Ave.. Chicago.
1
41