Image provided by: University of Oregon Libraries; Eugene, OR
About Eagle Valley news. (Richland, Or.) 191?-1919 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 18, 1917)
I A GOOD POSITION Tim U od poJllon-n?tlMnlty-ln' croifd ptrvlin you it rclr. ut htln you now. Check what yuu want to t and null lOUSI, UUW IIH, muumi MtUHUUl TUMH mur riNiuM -ItlllMlN COUIt HWIU -rntl HMHUT iirtsr mm WflH MlNltU Nam AiUttM, UU3INC33 COUXGi: 1'ortlaml, Or. Royal D-Lite Comfortable LADIES SHOES No CA No All Stylci All Sizes Royal Shoe Co. 148 Fourth St. Near Murrlton A Coi rt h IWt S: It Doe Not Crow So. There In only cm way to w't a rorl Violin Wllhuut rt K. wn, which U: Bend In your ma lua tin una nv u men lnton OM Coed On. htl niklcs glrn trvm. All work Buaranler.1. rUrol lo 1 ii rnt ti Tru - TrifcUjrh I V w ft. I . MOTORCYCLES BICYCLES Bought, cold nnd ropalrcd. Sup plies of nil kinds. Out of town trmlu n specialty. Writo un. R. H. BLOCKER 270 Taylor Street Portland, Oregon FARMS AND BUSINESS SOLD Doyou want to ll your farm, horn or Ini.lnes for riuh? Writ lo CAItTfJl UKAl.TY CO.. 004 Buchanan ItulMIni, Portland, Oron ELECTRIC MOTORS llouthl, 3oU, ILnl.d and RpIrJ llunulde. cor. loth. Portland. Or, REDUCED FREIGHT RATES To and from nit poInU on houMhoU rood. pUno, iul kutumubltra, InfumifttWn cLWr fully elvtn. Pacific Coast Fo warding Co,, W&Mr HIDES, PELTS. GASCARA BARK, WOOL AND MOHAIR. We tint ti os int. Write tor prices ud ttipeloftitt the H. F. Norton Co. Ponum ore, tutu, wo Oood, No Matter What. Tho Officer (after a complaint) Tli in tea s an rigni. wnais mo com' plaint? Tommy It ain't tea, sir; It's fitool Tho Offlcor And vory nlco stool London Sketch. Optical Astonishment. "Seeing In beHovlng." said Uio ready made plilloBophor. "Not nlwnys, whon you aro looking at tho movlos.' Wnsnlngton star. Falling In Line. "I am going to a proparodncss moot ing, my dear, of our club." "All right, William. You had bettor Icavo mo all tho Ioobo change you have about you.' Baltlmoro American. HAWTHORNE AUTO SCHOOL The only Automobile School on the Pa clAc Cout maintaining ' Tratlor IXpt. Using Holt Caterpillar, C. I. Ut Tracklayer and WhMlTractora, both In tha .chool and opvraUng flld. 413 Hawthorn At. Portland. Or. SHIP Veal, Pork, Deef, Poultry, Butter, tea and Farm Produco to th Old Unliable Kvardlng hou with a record of 45 year of Hquar Dealings, and U M.utvd of TOI MAJtKET PRICES. F. M. CRONKHITE 45-47 Front Strt Portland, Orton Spray-a-Cow Keeps off fllca or money back. $1 n gullon from your denlor, or order by mail. PLUMMER DRUG CO. Third and Madi.on, Portland, Or. Portland Y. M. C. A. Auto School Day and night ctassas. ICzptrt tralnlnit In repairing, drlvlnir and machlna work. Including forge, laths, ahaper, drill press, tractors, to. Tim unlimited, COMl'K TKNT CIIAUPFKUItS AND MECHAN ICS SUPPLIED. WHITE U3. P, N. U. No, SO, 1010 WIIEN wrlUng to adrerUun, picas Mas. I " tlan this paper. IWUndl S5 Orrcnn QUESTION OF FINANCE MORE WAYS THAN ONE OF OET- TINQ A CHECK CASHED. Proof That There Is Always, to the Ingenious, a Possibility of Oettlng Around the Soul-Chilling Edict "Insufficient Funds." Ho wan In high spirits on ho strollod wblstlliiK doiyn Contrnl Park West. It wnn nitrliiK: his himlth wan good tho nun was shining brightly, tho birds In tho mirk wore twittering mor rlly, and In u poker session tho night before ho had won IZ7G, or which i was In cash. In an Insldo pocket a check for S200, tho balnnco of his win nltiirii. ncatled rtRiilnst his heart. Ho renchod tho bank on which tho $200 check had been drawn ana blithely swunir through tho doors, In dorsed tho paper and presented It at tho paying toller's window. Thoro wan a pause whllo tho teller got busy with his books, In n moment ho was back at tho window: "Insufficient funds," ho said. Tho nun was obscured bohlnd black clouds, tho birds in tho pork woro squawking horribly, forgotton pains bogon to remind our horo of tholr exlstonco. If the maker of tho check was tho kind of man who would glvo an N. o, check to pay a poker loss, ho wob nuroly not tho kind of man who wouiu mako good later, thought tho holdor of tho worthless paper. Then ho hna an Idea. Ho asked tho tellor how much tho check's mnkor had on doponlt, but tho toller refused to Inform hlra: say ing It wns against tho rules. Over on a nark bench our hero pon dored his problem. At length ho reach ed n solution. Thn check's mnkor was In tho the atrical business. Our hero visited a press agent of his acquaintance and got a couple of complimentary tickets, Thon ho visited tho bank again. From tho special guard ho learned tho pay ing tcllor's namo. Thon ho wroto a noto to tho paying tollor, enclosing tho theater tickets, and to It ho signed tho namo of tho maker of tho check. Ho sent tho noto and tickets by special mcssoncor to the teller. Then after waiting half an hour ho called up tho bank and asked to talk to tho tellor. When ho was connected ho gnvo tho namo of tho maker of tho check, talked pleasantly for a mo ment about tha thootor tlckots ho hod Just sent, and thon asked how largo hts balnnco wns. Tho toller, glad to do tho favor to ono who hnd Just sent him two theater tlckots, nnswerod. "Ono hundred and forty-throo dol lars," ho said. Our horo nftor a comment or two hung up tha receiver and walked straight around to tho bank. Hero ho questioned tha recotvlng toller to mako euro thoro would bo no slip In his plan. "Can I deposit money to anothor man b account?" ho asked. "Certainly' said tho receiving toll or. "Wo'ro always glad to got monoy from everybody." Our horo thon made out a doposlt slip for $00, under tho namo of tho mnkcr of tho chock, and shoved tho slip nnd $C0 through tho rccolvlng teller s window. Thon ho walked to tho paying tollor with his $200 chock. "I'd llko caBh for this," ho said. Tho paying tollor looked at the chock and ropcatod his "insufficient funds," but our hero Bald loftily:- "Pardon, but a deposit which makos tho chock good was Just rocolvod." Tho paying tellor lookod It up and found this to bo correct, bo thoro was nothing left for him to do but pay out tho monoy. At a coBt of $G0 our hero had mado a bad chock for $200 good. Again was tho sun shining and again woro tho birds twittering. Mongoose Rat-Catcher. Accidentally I found tho chemist's method of dcallnc with Mm ml in shop was ono proaumos full enough of poison to sond tho wholo street to tho comotory. liut ho plnnod his faith to a smau animal, which was taking a slosta on tha host chair. A mon goose ho oxplnlnod. as ho carofullv stroked Its tall. Now how many mon- gooso (ir that Is tho plural) aro ro qulrod to donl with how many rats? And whoro do you got a monirooso. and whnt do you food him on If ho wants anything but rats? London Chronicle How to Cool Water. Trnvclors In dcBcrt land H rnrrv vn. tor bags of heavy canvas or llnon duck. Thoao bags, whon Mind. eon. atantly "swont" or oxudo enough mols turo to cool tho contents of tho bag by evaporations. Wot canteens do tha samo. A covorod pail or other yobboI may bo usod; wrap cloths around it, kcCp thorn wot, and hang In a current of air. Outing. Panama is rising throo feet la each century. JAPS KNOW NO PROFANITY Their Language Contains No "Swear. words," Unfortunately bo com mon In the West Tho Jap Is always polito, but onco in a whllo ho slips from grace and when ho does ho Is up against It, for thoro aro no swearwords In tho Japanoso language nays a writer In Lcsllo's Wookly. Whon a Japanoso meets you ho bowo throo times and takes off his hat, but docs not shako hands. Whon ho greets you his first concern Is nbout your ancestors nnd next about your stomach. It would bo almost an opon Insult for ono Japanoso to meet anothor without asking him how his stomach fared. On tho third bow ho asks: "This morning, how Is It with your honorablo inside?'' As you corao up on your third bow you answer to tho effect that tho placo mentioned is dolug as well as could bo expected and In turn ask him what nows bo has from tho fronL Thorn ho lifts his hat again and says: "Your delightful head thin morning, I hopo it have no commotion." When you toll him that you aro pleased to report that it feels well this morning ho asks about a fow generations of honorablo ances tors and then you aro frco to tako up tho weather. Even though thoy aro elaborately polito, onco In a whllo one Japanese will got mad at anothor. Their anger kindles slowly at first, finally fanning to a blazo that knows no staying. Out ovon though Micro Is a torrent of emo tion seething In bis soul there aro no words to glvo It vent; It koops surging harder and harder until It throws asldo all restraint and gives up all Idea of decency by putting Into ono phraso all bis blttorncss and snapping squarely into tho other man s aston lulled faco tho worst thing that can bo snld in tho wholo languago: "Your stomach is not on straight!" This Is tho final insult; nothing moro can bo added ho has cast tho glove There Is nothing loft for him to do but to glvo his enemy a cutting look, turn on his heel and haughtily clap-clap away on his wooden shoos. If Civilians Learn U Shoot. Civilian rlllo clubs aro lately re colvlng much attention. Thoy bavo developed a number of men who aro oxcollcnt shots with 22-callber rifles, indoors, at a distance of CO to 76 focL Comparatively fow, however, arc ablo to handlo tho modern high-pow ered S0-callbor TJnltod States inaga zlno rlllo and hit a target 1,000 yards away. Moreover, oven woro all our men good shots, it must bo remem bored that shooting is merely ono of tho Important parts of a Boldlcr's training, and that it is a very small part. Tho soldier who can do nothing but shoot has about, tho samo relatlvo valuo as a polo player who can sit on a fonco and wlold a mallot skill fully, but who can't rldo a borso. CnpL ulchard Stockton. Jr., In Col ller's Wookly. 8unday and Holiday Sprlna. Ib it not Izaak Walton who toll, nf a river. In Palostlno that never flowed on 8undar? A strictly vnmpinim story to match this Is told In a recent numoor oi too rrocoeaings of the Connecticut Society of Civil Pm-i. noora by Mr. Robort E. Hnrtnn it appears that In tho red sandstone of tna rassaic vauov mora is n nrinr located In a nlcnlc cround. which tnr. morly flowod perpotually. Its habits navo cnangcu, ana it now flows only on Sundays and holidays. Tho mya tory Is easily oxplalned: A number of artoslan wolls woro borod Into tho sandstono In tho vicinity of tho spring to sunoly water to adlacent nllir tun ing establishments. Except on Sun days and holidays, when tho pumps aro not running, tho artoslan slope- Is urawn ooiow tno iuvoi o: tno spring outlot and tho spring ceases to flow. Scientific American. Book of Mormon. Josoph Smith published his work known as "Tho Book of Mormon" in Uio year 1S30. Ho claimed that tho work was a transcript, under dlvtno guidance of certain goldon platos burlod In contrnl Now York, tho exist- onco of which had boen supernaturally roveaioa to mm by an angol from hoavon." When Moving Rugs. In nacklnir rues, whon movfnr- i ni. - - I --ot wnvs snrlnklo with nowdornri ninm and fold a tow moth balls In when rolling tnom. Then, If not usod Im mediately, as is Bomotlmoa tho caso, thoro Is no dancer of tholr hnimr h. Btroyod by posts. Tho Mothor's Mag- .sine. Acquiring Mohammedan Title. Any Mohnmmodan who commits it.. whnln nf thn Tfnrnn tn mnmnmt Is i on tho tttlo of Haflz. Cincinnati En qulrer. Worry's Evil Effects. What rust Is to Iron, worry is to thoso bodies of ours It corrodes them Selected. iHCHSSWt. mm ti Leader and Shot Shells For the hich flyers, or the low flyers, "Leader" and "Repeater' shells have the reach, spread and penetra tion. Their great sale 13 due to these qualities, which insure a full bag. Made in many gauges and loads. BB SURE TO ASK FOR TUB W BRAND LINK'S BUSINESS COLLEGE FALL TERM OPENS TUESDAY, SEPT. 5TH. New Classes Will Be Started Then. Many Students Already Enrolled. Ask For Catalogue. Enroll Now. A. T. LINK, Principal. Phone Main 5083 ... Tllford Building Tenth and Morrison Sts., Portland, Ore. Comforter. Dr. Dates Bingham of Boston, on his return homo from doing ambulance work in France, was nsked by a re porter his opinion of a German note. "There is no moro real satisfaction," tho distinguished physician replied, "or comfort in it than there was in tho blacksnake's ruse. "A Pike county mother once left her littlo one seated outside the shack and pulling on a full milk bottle when a blacksnakc camo gliding up. "Tho snako nestled close to the child, drew tho rubber nipple from its mouth and proceeded to drink tho milk; but at tho samo time the snake did not forget to slip the end of its tall gently between tho Infant's lips by way of a comforter." Rub It In Thoroughly. A sprain or strain should have im medlato attention to check the swell lng. Rub on, and rub in thoroughly Hanford s Balsam of Myrrh and you should have quick relief. Always bavo a bottlo on band for accidents. Adv Plain Enough. "How do you llko America, count?" "Quito much, but your figures of speech aro somewhat bard to under stand. Now, when It dawns upon you "You begin to bco daylight!" ex plained tbo other man. Louisville Courier-Journal. Wisdom. During a lesson on elementary com position a little girl read tho following as her effort: "Onco a Penny and a Shilling met in a man's pocket. Tho Shilling turn ed up Its nose at tho Penny, and said, scornfully: " 'Why, I am worm a dozen or you." "'Yes.' said the Penny, 'but even at that I am a good bit better than you aro. I go every Sunday to church, and you never do.'" London Tit-Bits. Uso Hanford's Balsam when all clso falls. Adv. Same Line. "Whon I was a boy," sold tho gray- hatred physician, who happened to bo in a romlnlscent mood, "I wanted to bo a soldier: but my parents persuad ed mo to study medicine." "Oh. well." rejoined the sympathetic drugglst,"such Is life. Many a man with wholcsalo aspirations has to con tent himself with a retail business." London Tit-Bits. Tn Irnon ilnnn nn hnnlUiv tnlco Dr. Picrco'a Pleasnnt Pellets. They regu late Hvor, bowels nnd stomach. Now's Their Chance. "And so you nro convinced, my friend," nsked tho curate, "that there Is a placo of eternal punlshmont?" "I am," replica tno uncnantaDio narlshlonor. "There s nothing in this world bad enough for some pooplo." Browning's Magazine For calks uso Hanford's Balsam, Adv. Poor Picking. "What's tho matter?" nskod tho first flea. "You looked starved." "Thoy aro making tneso toy tiogs so natural," explalnod tho othor flea, "that I arranged to summer on ono of them by mistake" Loutsvlllo Courier- Journal. Innuendo. "Wombat says ho tries to put as good a face on things as possible." "Ho's tho man to paint your por trait, old top." Kansas City Journal. Repeater9 S Granulated Eyelids. UFO Ey" inflamed by expo, ture to Sua. Dost znd let quickly relieved by M arise. E) e Rsaedy. No Smarting, lust Eve Comfort. At Your Druggirt'e 50c per Bottle. HnrlflC Eye SalveinTubej25c ForOeokellaeEyeFreeaJc j Druggist or Murise Eye Ceaedy Co., Cokafo WILL YOU BUY NEW TIRES NOW or make your old one but through) tho wntcr. Write ua about this. OREGON VULCANIZING CO, MO Wuhinzton S U Portland. Or. .4B -I Vindicated Self-Esteem. "Tho Woggses seem to have a high opinion of themselves." ? , "Ye3. You see the samo cook has consented to remain in their employ for three or four years. So they feel entitled to think that they are rather nice people." Washington Star. Ask your dealer for the free book;, let, "Useful Hints for Horse Owners," issued by G.-C. Hanford Mfg. Co., Syra cuse, N. Y., manufacturers of Han ford's Balsam of Myrrh. Adv. No Alibi. "Tho war is doing mo a good turn, anyhow." "In what way?" "I don't have to think up excuses for not taking my family to Europe this summer." Detroit Free Press. IF YOU HAVE RHEUMATISM you should try Anti-Uric, the famous remedy nssde from Roots and Berries. It is guaranteed to cure- this cruel dis ease in every stage. We want every reader of this puper who is suffering from Rheumatism in any form to try this discovery. Every package guaranteed or money refund ed. Price $1.50 prepaid, or we will send by Parcel Post C. O. D. Circu lars and convincing testimony free. Address ANTI-URIC CO., 102 Sher wood Building, San Francisco. BUSINESS AND STENOGRAPHIC SCHOOL Our Graduate are occupying enviable post, tions. Th teaching process Is different fron ordinary business schools. Thorough, Practi cal. Individual. SCHOOL FOR MEN ONLY. Address Tha Registrar. Y. M. C A., Portland. Or.ro n, and iret detailed Information. Oregon Hernia Institute Rupture treated mechanically. Privats fitting rooms. Highest tcaUmonlala. Ra aults guaranteed. Call or write. JOHNSON & UMBARGER 411-412 Alltkr Duildln. Portland. Orron The Mathews Welding: & Cutting Co., S91 Everett St. Near Ninth. Portland, Ore. Portable Eleclric and Oiy-Acely!ene Plant. heady at all Times. OxT-Actyln Welding and Cutting. Wl3lna by Thermit, EUctriclty, Oxy-Acatyl.n. Welding of Sht Steal, Cast Iron, Aluminum Brail, Etc. BolUr and Marin Work a Specialty. ALSO AGENTS: The Henderaon-WUUs Welding and Cutting Co.. St. Loula. U. 8. A. Fed era Ilrass Works, Jlt St, & Kedil Ave.. Chicago. 1 41