Condon globe., January 18, 1906, Image 4

Topics of
the Times
The bet way to fight the old-age
Kuilt Is to keep young.
Russia will keep 300,000 soldiers on
the Chinese border. Sort of ornamen
tal border.
The world is not growing worse, but
the graft investigators are just finding
oat how bad It was.
Several excellent reputations hare
been sadly mussed up since this life
Insurance Investigation began.
Marie Corellt may have a double
chin, but he will be a rash man that
ventures to chuck her under It
Somebody la going to dramatis the
book of Job, It doesnl look like an
easy Job, but of course you never can
tell.
A Cailfornla millionaire has adopted
girl because he was charmed by her
piano playing. We may add that &he
didn't live next door.
The wages of sin remain the same
; es heretofore, but frequently the sin
' ner has to wait a long time to get
what Is coming to him.
"Many a man," says one of the lady
i' Journalists, "has fallen In love with a
: dimple." Yes, and discovered later
that it was only a wrinkle.
; If a doctor can't get free advertts-
tng In any other way he can manage
I 'it by coming to the front with a de
' reuse of the pesky' cigarette.
Some day an American will come
j home and forget to say "there Is no
; country like our own." And he will
: be awarded the medal for originality.
. There are many humorists among
the football coaches of the country.
They are all protesting that they have
always discountenanced rough play In
the game.
A New York girl has invented a ma
chine by which she claims one may
count a million dollars a minute. John
W. Gates will no doubt hail this as a
real boon.
A 10-year-old boy has gone Into bank
ruptcy at Le Sueur, Minn. Let us hope
he may now get a new start In life
and succeed la amounting to some
thing, after all.
The average citizen, however, confi
dent that neither semi-starvation nor
going without sleep will make a Thos.
A. Edison of him, will prefer not to
change bis nsual manner of living.
In making the statement that the
average man eats too much Mr. Edi
son, has drawn forth indignant pro
testa from countless thousands of reg
ular boarders throughout this broad
land.
After Andrew Carnegie gets the wo
men to wear their hair short for sani
tary purposes let him tackle the cor
set Andy Is too good a man to ever
bo allowed to sit down in a corner
with nothing to do.
A Virginia preacher has been sus
pended for six months for kissing a
pretty girl. He would probably have
been excused If he had picked out some
homely old lady with traces of a mus
tache. Preachers who desire to kiss
should always remember these things.
John A. McCall's friends say he is a
poor man, so poor, In fact, that his in
come Is barely sufficient to keep up
the payments on the $500,000 insur
ance policies which he carries and en
able him to live in such style as be
fits one who occupies a $450,000 home.
Mr. McCall's case is truly pathetic.
Can't somebody suggest a benefit of
some kind for him?
Immigration, according to students
of the subject, follows the parallels
of latitude that is, people who move
to a new country seek to settle in a
climate as near as possible to that of
their old home. This is held to ac
count in a measure for the refusal of
European Immigrants to settle in our
Southern States. The theory does not
work out, however. If it did we should
see the Italians, for Instance, flocking
to the South and to California, where
as In truth they gather in the large
cities of the North. The truth prob
ably is that the negro question has
most to do with the slackness of immi
gration Into the South. The newcom
ers have no race prejudices, but they
fear low-priced competition.
Sea battles at the present time do
not result in such great rewards of
prize money as formerly. English sail
ors in times past have brought great
fortunes home after their successful
cruises. In the war with Holland,
IGSMflH English ships are said to
have taken 1..00 prises, worth 130,000,
000, In littT the Spaniards loaded Brit
ish sailors with treasure. They seised
two of the Spanish galleons so richly
laden with gold and Jewels that It took
thirty-eight wagons to carry the treas
ure from Portsmouth to Loudon. In
1701 came the historic capture of the
Hermtone, the Spanish treuNureshlp
from Lima. The admiral and captains
received as their share $323,000 apiece,
the lieutenants $03,000, warrant otU
eers about $120,000, petty officers near
ly $10,000, and even the common sea
men $2,500 each. On arriving at Ports
mouth the seamen bought up all the
watches In the place and fried them
over the galley fire.
As well as we can Judge It Is
about once In every six months that It
Is proposed In this country to put to
death by painless methods people who
are hopelessly ill and who are In terri
ble agony. The proposal generally
emanates from the medical faculty,
but Its latest appearance Is lu the con
vention of the American Humane As
sociation, where Its advocates were
women, and the physicians opposed It.
One of the speakers having by way of
Illustration descrlled the sufferings of
the victims of a recent railroad acci
dent, Mrs. Totten rose and said pas
slouately: "If I had been In that wreck
and had seen cases such as have been
described and had a pistol I would
certainly have shot the sufferers to
put them out of their misery." All
Oils doe great credit to the hearts of
these women, but It ouly shows tbnt
their hearts are better than their Judg
ments. In this matter they see only
one side of the subject Frobably ev
ery mature person that ever lived has
been deeply affected by the sufferings
of people who seemed certain to die
lu a short time anyway and baa said
in bis haste that they ought to be
chloroformed to death, at least If they
themselves desired it This Is what
he says In his haste, but the sober
second thought is always different
There are two obvious objections to
such a practice as these women pro
pose. The first Is that the wisest man
on earth could not tell when the prop
er time to take a human life In this
fashion had come. Take the case
mentioned in the convention, of a man
caught under a railroad wreck and on
the polut of being burned alive by the
approaching flames. That will be
considered a strong case, and yet If
the wind should suddenly change he
would be saved. Have these kind-
hearted women never heard of people
whom all the attendant physician
gave up to die and yet who got well?
Have they never heard of people who
were supposed to be actually dead and
were burled and yet who were not
dead and were exhumed and recov
ered? Who, then, would be rash
enough to pronounce a case hopeless
and proceed to administer chloroform
or morphine? The other objection is
that if the state were to legalize eU'
thanasla nearly everybody would die
in that way except the Inmates of the
asylums. Just as certainly as a sick
person had any money or any ene
mies, anyone who was tired of his au
thority or afraid of his influence, he
would be poisoned and killed by some
of those around him as "hopelessly ill"
and "at his own request." A physi
cian's certificate might be made neces
sary, but that would only cost $2.
These considerations are so weighty
and so "obvious that thoughtful people
have always left this "reform" to
those who were surcharged with senti
mentality, effeminacy, pagnnlsm, bar
balsm and sensationalism, with
whom It will always remain.
Mixed Relationship.
A daily newspaper tells the story of
a lawyer who received a call from a
new client a man bent upon recover
ing a sum of mouey advanced npon a
note and not repaid. "Who is the
client?" asked the lawyer. "Oh, she's
a relative of mine!" "How nearly re
lated?" "Very nearly." "P.ut my
dear sir," persisted the lawyer, "you
must be more explicit" "Well, she
may be my mother-in-law." "May be?
Then you are likely to marry her
daughter?" "I've already married the
daughter." "Then of course the de
fendant Is your, mother-in-law!" "Per
haps you'd better hear the whole
story," returned the client. "You see,
a year ego we lived together, my son
and I. In a house across the way
lived a widow, Mrs. Foster, and her
daughter, Mary. Well, I married
Mary, and my son married the widow.
Now peruaps you can tell me whether
my son's wife Is my mother-in-law or
my daughter-in-law." But the lawyer
could not
Profitable Work.
"No," said the first business man;
"I don't approve of all work and no
play. I'm Just as ready for play as I
am for work."
"Well," replied the other, "I never
believe in playing the fool while there's
a chance to work one." Philadelphia
Press.
Everyone is shocked when a mother
in Impatient and surprised when a
father la patient .
THIEVES HAVE AID SOCIETY,
PtwsrM CI nt room Open to Only th
ArUtocracy of CrSm.
"I have' no doubt that people have
wondered wheu some crook caught In
the act and without friends In the
place In which he cnuie to grief could
fcivtt boudiC said Prank U. Miller, nu
ex-couvlct, to a Journal reporter wish
whom he had previously become rc
qualuted. There is nothing strange about It,"
continued Mller, "for we have an or
ganisation for mutual protection and
this bus representatives In every large
iv and In some of the smaller ones
of the United States and Canada. Usu
ally In the smaller places these are
lawyers, and If the crook ts 'pluehed'
In a place where he has no friends he
knows whom to send for.
"Should the case be an aggravated
one and the crook In good standing
with the organization the amount of
bond required ts learned and the socie
ty Is nottfled to send enough to square
a couple of bondsmen. The crook dis
appears, the bondsmen settle and tell
how they would like to bring the fol
low to Justice, while all the time
they are wishing for another Job of
the same sort, for they are well paid,
and the lawyers get better fees for
looking after our business than any
ordinary practice pays."
Miller went on to say that the or
ganization had Its regular officers, who
are better patd than those of legiti
mate societies, and that almost all ot
them are well respected In the com
munities in which they live. Miller
stated that the amount paid for mem
temhtp and yearly din's was large and
that only "square" crooks were allow
ed to become members.
When asked If they were not afraid
that their officers would emulate their
employers and rob the treasury he re
plied that such a thing had never oe-
eutred but once. That man was after
ward found on the strets of Constan
tinople with a knife sticking under the
fifth rib and no one had seen fit to
follow his example.
"Why," said Miller, "they know that
If they should try to 'do us they
would have a thousand men keener
than any detectives on their trail and
lhat when caught no earthly power
could save them."
The crooks, according to Miller, have
their clnbroonm In Chicago, New York,
New Orleans, San Franctro and sev
eral other cities, and he declared that
these clubrooms, or houses, are fitted
up regardless of expense. To be able
to use them, however, one must be
long to the crook aristocracy and mnst
also pay extra dues that would make
the clubman of the cities blink. Ohio
State JOurual.
80NQS THE INDIANS SINQ.
Unwritten Literature of Aborigine
Hhould lie Preserved,
One great avenue to a better under
standing of the Indian Is a compre
hension of their songs, for songs are
to the Indian all that books are to us.
Songs and cereinouloa are the unwrit
ten literature of the race. As In
mediaeval times the deeds of heroes
and the chronicles of peace and 'war
were sung by bards and minstrels, so
to-day lu the festivals of the Indian
the great events of tho tribe aro told
in song. Besides Its Important pnrt
as the expression of the Intellectual,
moral and spiritual life of the Indian,
song often accompanies even the moHt
menial acts of dally toll. Such songs
are special songs to fit the task, As,
for Instance, the songs of the Pueblo
women while grinding their corn.
I paused one day at the door of a
Pueblo fiouse where a woman was
singing a Uute-llke melody to the
rhythm of her grinding.
"Tell me," I asked her, "what are
you singing about?" The woman
paused in her work.
"Oh," she answered with a smile,
"I am singing of the rainbow Garth,
who paints the heavens; ot the rain
that we long for; of our growing
corn." J
Such songs are ge!ms of poetic and
meleileic beauty that would be valu
able Indeed in our American litera
ture and culture. European musi
cians, on hearing tho Indian songs, ex
claimed: "And you Americans are allowing
all this to perish?" You are stamping
out music unlike any. other in the
world why?"
Why, Indeed; for this music belongs
to our own land. Happily the preju
dice against the Indian songs, as
against all things Indian, is waning.
Yet If we are to retain the peculiar
talents of this people, the schools must
foster In the little ones the gifts in
herited. The Indian will not work
less but more for encouragement of
the natural song impulses In him.
And such encouragement will help to
make blm what we want him to be
that for which our young republic
stands the workman with Ideals.
Native American.
Richest Man In Mexico.
General Luis Terrazas, Governor ol
the State of Chihuahua, is probably
the largest land owner in the world,
as well as the richest man in Mexico,
It takes an eight hours' Journey on a
fast train to travel from one end of
Ms property to the other.
CATA
Catarrh is usually regarded as nothing more serious than a bad cold or
slight inflammation of the inner skin and tissues of the head and throat,
when it is, in fact, not only a vexatious and troublesome disease, but a corn
plicated and dangerous one, It is true that Cutarrh usually logins with a
cold in the head, but when the jwu'sons, which are thrown oh through the
secretion, find their way into the Mood, it becomes constitutional troublo
that affects all parts of the body. It has more annoying and disgusting; symp
toms than any other disease. There is a sickening and offensive discharge
from the nostrils, a couatant buz. in; uol.e in the cars, headaches and pains
in the eyes are frequent, while filthy, tenacious matter drops back into the)
throat requiring continual hawking and spitting, and in certain stages of tho
disease the breath has an odor tlut is very offensive. Catanh is worse la "
Winter, because the cold weather closes the pore and elands, and the pois
ona and unhealthy vapors which should pas off that way are thrown Wlc
oh the tender linings and tissues, causing tho inflammation which start
the unhealthy secretions to be ab- . . . ... .
sorbed by the blood. When the blood
becomes diseased with this catarrhal
matter all kinds of complications may
be looked for. As the blood circu
lates through the body the foul mat
tes finds its way into the stomach,
ruining the digestion and producing
chronic Dyspepsia, or Catan h of the
stomach. It also affects the Kidneys.
Bladder and other members of the body, while the general health is weak
ened, appetite lost and the patient feels despondent and half sick all the time.
Hut worst of all, if the trouble is not checked the lungs become diseased from
the constant passage of poisoned blood through them, sad Catarrh terminates)
in Consumption, the most fatal of all diseases. You cannot get rid of Ca
tarrh by treating it with sprays, washes, inhalations, etc., because they only
reach the membranes and tissues, wljile the real cause s? the trouble is in tho
blood. These relieve the annoying symptoms for a time, but the poison is
all the while getting a stronger hold on the system and when they are left
off will manifest itself in worse form than before. S. S. S. is the greatest of
all blood purifiers, and when it has cleansed the blood, this pure, rich stream
circulates through the body, carrying healthful properties to the diseased
parts. Then the inflamed membranes and tissues begin to heat, the dis
!
PURELY VEGETABLE.
ease permanently, and at the same time builds up the entire system by its fina
tonic effect. S. S. 8. is a purely vegetable remedy non-in jui ious to the sys
tem and a certain, reliable cure for Catarrh. Catanh sufferers will find our
free consulting department helpful in advisln local treatment to be used
with S. S. 8. THE SWIFT SPCCISIQ CO.. A TLAMTA. CA.
nor Mlaorablo I,nek.
First Summer Girl Md you bear
about the miserable luck 1 bad yester
day?
Second Summer Girl No; what was
it?
First Summer Girl While In bath
ing s man rescued me from drowning.
Second Summer Girl Why, I'd call
tbst good luck.
First Summer Girl But the man In
the case Is married.
European Breakfasts.
Mark Twain, in speaking of the typi
cal European breakfasts, said: "I)o
you know what I'll doT I'll nail a
piece of cuttle-fish bone to the chim
ney, and every morning I'll hop up on
the mantel and take a pick at it with
a tin bill. It will be just as filling
and much cheaper , than a European
breaklast "
It is evident thst Mr. Clemens pre
fers the typical .American breakfast
dish of nilsbury's Vitos with good
cream and sugar.
Economical Thought.
"Oh, George!" said Mrs. Youngman,
"my canary bird's dead."
"res?" replied her husband. "You're
not grieving much."
"No; you see, I can have It stuffed
for my hat next fall, and then the rest
of the hat wou't cost you so much."
Philadelphia Press.
Ia After Tear.
Wife But during our courtship you
never objected to my talking.
Husband Of course not Being
talked to Is one tiling and being talked
at is quite another.
fMTTTnB
The Kind You Have) Always J lough t hits borne tho aigim
ture of Chan. II. Fletcher, and 1ms been made under his
personal supervision lor over HQ years. Allow no one
to deceive you in this. Counterfeits, Imitations and
Just-as-good" are but Experiment, and endanger the
health of Children Experience against Experiment.
What is CASTOR I A
Castorla Is a harmlesK substitute for Castor Oil, Pare
Korlc, lrops and Hoot h lug- 8 j nips. It Is Pleasant. It
contains neither Opium, Morphine nor other Narcotic
substance. Its age Is its guarantee. It destroys Worms
and allays FeveriNhncK. It cures Diarrhoea and Wind
Colic. It relieves Teething Troubles, cures Constipation
.and Flatulency. It assimilates the Food, regulates the
Stomach and Bowels, Riving healthy and natural sleep.
The Children's Panacea Tho Mother's Friend.
The Kind You fa Always Bought
Bears the
In Use For
THl S.NTAU aOMMMV. TT
TUT ANNOYING
Jfll DANGEROUS
PRTm wwmrm hru w j viwum www v
ant I had In addition a di fill eaae of
Catarrh. Mr was etoini.d up, X
had aaadaeltae, riaamf toi..a la my
ears and fait uitflt fur work, X ton
iu.no-a the use of . B. BJ. on tne reom
mandatloM of a frtantl, and in, ft short
thus It eurad tarn sound and wall. It put
av blood in Mul condition aud X ha
tiavar had tho aitslitoat return of tb
Catarrh slnee that II m .
Ut0. D. CARK,
Wo, BOO Eda-ar St. JtvaosviUe, tad.
charges cease, the general condition ox
the system is strengthened, everyone
of the annoying and disgusting symp-
toms pass away, and the patient is left
in perfect health. S- S. S. is the best
remedy for Catarrh.. It goes right into
the blood and removes all effete matter
and catarrhal poison and cures the dis
Kverythlasr I.lmltad.
The old fMrtuer went to one end of'
the swaying coach to wash bis band.
He could And ouly a few remnants of
soap. "Boy," be drawled, "there dou't
seem to be much soap beref
"No, sah," chuckled the porter, "yon
know dl Is de limited. Ebbyfhing
abohd sm limited."
Then the old man tried to All a
glass from the water cooler. He could
ouly force out a few drops.
"Where's the water, boysr
"Not much water, sah. Dst am lim
ited, too."
I'resenlly the porter brushed the
old farmer down and the latter hand
ed him Dine coppers.
"Why, boss," protested the porter,
"yo gib de porter on de udder train a
quarter."
"I know that," chuckled the old
farmer, "but you know this Is tho
limited, snd everything should be lim
ited." Chicago News.
No ftabea'a Work.
Mrs. Al de Mustahd And have you
any paintings by Rubens?
Mrs. Justin de Bunch Mercy, not
All our pictures ere by the best ar
tists. Mrs. A. le M. But Rubens
Mrs. J. de B. Don't tell me. I ner
er saw a rube yet that could paint
Cleveland Leader.
Restoring the Bala nee.
"Wouderly baa inula a fortune la cot
ton." "Yei, but seenrding to hit wlfe'e
drfxsmsker, he's fast losing It ia silks.
Detroit Free Fress.
JULTXJ
Signature of
Over 30 Years.
MUHMIkV THfT, NtW T.I1H StTT.
Ctj'iiaiftm
A
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