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About The Athena press. (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942 | View Entire Issue (May 30, 1913)
Last S pring Wly He a It h Was completely broken down through prolonged watching at a sick bed. My appetite was gone. I was so nervous that I could not sleep. I be- older. Through physical weakness my mental V: Y? condition Was affected. Hood's Sarsaparilla re- 1$ stored me to penect neaitn. it aiaea me worn out nerves of my stomach to do their duty. I could soon eat and sleep. peacefully and felt new life course through my veins. With in six weeks I was my former self, and for a jear have enjoyed the best health." Julia C. Tison, Atlantic City, N. J. For your Spring Medicine, blood purifier and strength builder, tak Hood' s Sarsapar.lla ''.' Sold everywhere. Get a bottle today. POULTRY AND GAME Can sret you fancy prices for Wild Ducks and other Kama in season. Writ us for cash offer on all kinds of poultry, pork, ate. Pearson-Page Co., Portland For Bale-300 a. Douglas Co., Wash.: 150 a. cult.. 7-r. house, barn, outbldfts, bearing orchard, stock, machinery, etc. J. M. Kinney, ltoaftejd.JWaBh. For Sale-240 a. in Chelan Co., Wash.; about 100 a. cult; 8-r. house, 2 barns, outbldgs., 6-a. orchd; stock, machinery, etc., everything complete. J. F. Daniel, Wenatche. Wash., R. No. 1. For Sale 68 a. in Douglas Co., Wash., nr Orondo; 60 a. cult., best producing orchards in the state; It-room bouse, barn, outbuildings, stock, machin ery A. J. Elliott, Orondo, Wash. MAKE BIG MONEY! Be our representative. Easy sales anywhere. Show samples and take orders. No rink. Don't wait; write today. Dept 12, Koom 812, Wilcox Bldg., Portland, Or l ' . Second-Hand Mach Machinery -5 - Second-Hand Machln. and nes. boiler, sawmills, etc. The J. E. Martin Co.. 83 1st Bt, Portland. Send for Stock List and prices. PATENTS Watson K. Coleman, patent Lawyer.WaihinKlon, Advice and books free. Bates reasonable. Highest references. Jlest services. BANDMEN:X HOLTON and BUESCHER bsnd Instruments. The most complete stock of Musical Merchandise in the Northwest. Write for Catalogues. 8EIBERLIN0-LUCAS MUSIC CO. 134 Second Street, Portland, Oregon Your Farm, Orchard, Hop Yard or Garden Will yield twice as much aa ltaoesnow. rramioanuw y howt CORRECT FERTILIZING Ourfartlllimin have been tried out and they Imve won otitevery time. They are prepared by skilled and cirlnid ohem inlH ami touted by praetl enl farmnm. They will V PACIFIC GUANO & 182 Madison St., Our knowledge is free to you. Our book till! of valuable in formation is free to you. Write for It and let as help you in crease your crops fnd improve your and. FERTILIZER CO. Portland, Or. Poverty's Gradations. "Poor" has many gradations of meaning. A small newsboy, who is a familiar figure at itne city hall and shows great affection for Assistant Joe Ryan's dogs, overheard some one speak of him as "that poor boy" the other day, and exclaimed: "That man has no right to call me poor boy. We ain't poor. Why, at our place on James street jwe have three rooms, and six people sleep In one and seven in the other, and they pay us ten cents a night, (too. We ain't poor. Lots of the other fellers only have one room." VHow many sleep in the other room, George?" asked Ryan. "Why, only me and pop and mom and my two brothers and two slaters. Say, we ain't poor." New York Press. ALL AUTHORS ARE,TALKATIVE If You Know One, Be Tactful and Let Him Converse About His Work. i I know nothing about really great authors, but I think I speak for a large number of the followers of the trade jwhen I say that they like to talk about their work, one great rea son being that writing is a lonely pro fession. If you write, as a rule you mnut An It ihv vourself ; or if you do attempt it in company, you or the company will be sorry. inereiure, whn tha writlne In done, and a sym- nnthPtin Hfdoner offers, ithe writer is glad to wipe out some of the lonely hours with a little conversation. . So, if you know an author, don't be inn hrpathinRs iabout his calling: treat him like a human being. Let him talk a little, and do not be snocnea u ne manages to keep the tears back when he i tells you about Ms last snort story. Only, be tactful. Do not say, as an eager acquaint ance once said to me: "Oh, I do think it (is so' interesting to write. It must bo just fascinating when your manu scripts come back!" I discovered af- or word that fihn meant nroofs in stead of manuscripts, .but the mistake of Just jthat single word made me, who am usually so garrulous odoui mv trnrlA foel fnr thfl tlmft helns? that I really did not care ever to speak of it again. ) So I repeat, let the poor author talk, but be tactful. Atlantic Monthly, When Your Eyes Need Care Try Murine Eye Remedy. No Smarting Feels Fine Acts Quickly. Try It lor Red, Weak, Watery Eyes and Granulated Eyelids. Illus trated Book In each Package. Murine Is compounded by our Ooallsts not a "Patent Med Inlno" but need In successful Physicians' Prac tice for umny years. Mow dedicated to the Pub iln and sold bv Itruuirista at 26a and 60a Der Dottle. Murine Eye Salvo in Aseptic Tubes, a and 60a. One at a Time. "The head of the Krupp steel works has 65,000 employes." "Nothing to brag of," opined the housewife. "I've hnd that many In my kitchen, but not all at once." Louisville Courier-Journal. Mistaken View. Strange tricks our vanity will play, and egotistic is llfo's plan. A fish, which grabbed a hook one day, at first believed he'd caught a man! Hit Mistake. "Why have you quarreled with your cousin?" "He kissed me the other day, and when I asked him to promise me never to do it again, be actually did." Murine Eye Remedy Co., Chloago Recover Stolen Tombstone. A stolen tombstone was unearthed during excavations following a recent fire in a shop in Glrvan (Ayr.). The workmen dug out a tombstone in an excellent state of preservation, bear ing the following inscription: "By An thony Campbell, Saddler, in Memory of His Daughter, Jean, Died July 1st, 1S26, Aged 18 Years and Six Months." It is believed that the stone was stolen from the xld Glrvan churchyard and converted into a heartstone, a quite common occurrence in the early days of the nineteenth century. London Mall. Word Much Misused. "Fix" is one of the words that we Americans habitually misuse, but it is not often that the mistake leads to such absurdity as it does in the label of a certain stain-remover now on the market. "It will fix the stain," says the notice. Since "fix" means to make permanent, the manufacturers of the stain-remover have not said quite what they intended to say. Youth's companion. . May Ward Off Pneumonia. . Hore is a recipe which a physician gave me several years ago, says a writer, and I have used it in my fam ily ever since. For coughs, colds or any bronchial trouble saturate a flan nel cloth and apply to chest: Turpen tine liniment Take a pint bottle, put in white of one egg, shake well, add four tablespoonfuls turpentine, shake till foamy than fill with good vinegar; shake well. . . DERRICK FOR HANDLING HOGS "Gallows" and Lift Shown In Illustra tion Handy In Caring for Large Unwieldy Animals. Having to help a neighbor butcher with very large hogs that we kne would be very unwieldy to Tiandle, we figured out and "built a "gallows" and lift, as shown herewith. It worked so very well I thought It might help oth ers, writes E. G. Kinsell; in the Farn and Home. ' Get a good straight post about 14 feet long and 5 to 6 inches in diameter at small end. Band this end and bore a three-quarter-inch hole In center about . eight inches deep to receive swivel bolt c. Five feet from tot mortise holes at right angles to re celve cross bars 2 by 3 Inches, od which hogs are to hang. Into these mortises insert arms four feet long and bolt stay irons, as shown. Now plant post three feet in ground. Get a good stout sweep or pole oi white oak or locust about 3 or 4 Inches 1ft diameter at butt end and in this end put an eye bolt with good Derrick for Handling Hogs. strong chain of about six feet with a small hook in end, to hook on to gam brel sticks, as shown in cut Bore a hole to receive 5-16 inch bolt about 3 feet from butt end of sweep and fasten swivel bolt c to the sweep. At small end of sweep fasten a rather large ring by means of a small' staple, and to- this tie a piece of rope . long enough to allow small end of sweep to rise well up In air when fastening chain to the gambrel stick or the hog. Now place your sweep on top oi post with swivel bolt in position and you are ready to hook fast ; to a 600 pound hog. Lift him on to "the table, shorten your chain again, lift him over the scalding tub and dangle him up and down as much as you choose. Having hoisted the hog clear of scalding table' you can swing him around to hang on any arm. PROPER CARING FOR HORSES Excuse Hunting. Dodge "What's the matter with your cooking here lately?" Mrs. Dodge "The gas compony doesn't give us as good gas as it used to." Kansas City Times. Literal. "Do you like my execution on the piano?" "I must say I would have to describe it as an execution for kill ing time." READY MADE HOUSE $400 All ready for occupancy. All you have to do is drive a few nails and move in. Plans and instructions accompany ma terial. House built so as to be just what our climatic condi tions require. We have been in the Mill Material business for twenty-seven years and our ability and integrity are un questioned. We absolutely guarantee satisfaction. Anything you want in mill material we can supply you at factory cost No order too small or none too large to re ceive our prompt and best attention. Send for our Free Book of Floor Flans and Catalogue of Mill Material. NORTHWEST DOOR COMPANY PORTLAND, OREGON. Comfortably Bedded Stall la Great Boon for Tired Animal Should b Amply Protected. The proper carlhg for farm horses begins with the careful . selection of farm work, avoiding the use of light horses for heavy' work or extremely heavy horses for work which could more easily be done by horses of lighter weight " .The horse which Is not suited for its task is so heavily handicapped that no care that can be given it can alto gether compensate for the natural Inefficiency. Lack of comfortable sta bling,, the essentials of which are lit tle more than fairly roomy quarters In a dry, light, well ventilated shelter which protects the animafrom heat in summer ana irom com m winter, may Interfere with the horse's great est usefulness. A comfortably bedded stall Is a great boon to the tired horse, and such a bed Bhould be supplied as will encourage the horse to lie down du ring much of the night Wet bedding, uneven stall floors and extremely nar row stalls are circumstances that too often interfere with the comfort of the horse. Farm Press. ROOT CROPS FOR DAIRY COW North Pacific College of Dentistry and Pharmacy The North Pacific College was estab lished in 1898. It has departments of Dentistry and Pharmacy. No school in America has better facilities for tho train ing of youtijr men and wonwn for success ful professional careers. The annual ses sion begins October First An illustrated catalog of information will bo forwarded J Registrar, North Pacific College la. Sab ibJ Oujob Sts Tertland, Ore. Turnips and Other Llka Root Vegeta bles Make Fins Milk Producing Feed Add to Variety. No matter what some people tell you, turnips and other roots make One milk-producing feed. Turnips will not affect the flavor of milk, if fed at the right time. If turnips are fed in large quanti ties and two or three hours before milking, they are likely to give the milk an unpleasant taste, but If fed directly after milking, no flavor whatever will be noticed. A peck of turnips to each animal per day is sufficient in most cases. A good plan Is to feed directly after hay in the early morning, and once a day is often eonugh. A little salt scattered over the tur nips, which should be chopped In quarters or smaller, add to their palatabllity. Roots make a very valuable addition to tha winter "ration, because" , they add to the variety of the feed, and no animal on tha farm appreciates va riety more than the dairy cow. In Wisconsin, Iowa and other western dairy states tha root crop is becoming a very Important part of tha crop of the farm. 7 Rules For Measuring Corn. There are many rules for measur ing corn. Inquiries conducted Tby the Missouri State Board of Agriculture show the following" In common use: Sixteen cubie feet ' of corn In ; the shock (or extra well settled 15 feet) make a barrel. The number of cublo feet multiplied by the decimal'.! gives the bushels, f Multiply together the length, width and height of the pen' or crib. In Inches, and divide by 4.200 for old corn or 4.S00 for new corn, to get bushels. Where It can be done corn should - be weighed rather than measured. . Getting 8ad Grain Early. . Do not wait untilspring to clean and grade your seed grain. Do it now, while you . have plenty of grain at hand from which to select The best twenty-five bushels of grain out of a hundred bushels are worth much more tor seed than Is the grain that can be cleaned from a much amallet amount In tha spring. The cost oi thus cleaning and grading the grain la very alight; and it entublea one te have heavy, plump seed grain at very UUle outlay. 1 . - i Raises tne vws??y Dough IT - Better! fmM 25c Pound C.a lrj All Grocers Gigantic Bog Oak Tree. Twenty tons of bog oak were re cently unearthedjat Llanwrtyd Wells, Wales. It measures 48 feet long with a diameter of 2 feet 9 inches. This giant oak tree is by far the largest which has been found within memory on the peat land near Llanwrtyd. Por lions of it have been exposed for some years, but no one thought it of such dimensions and no Interest was taken in it until a few years ago. Why He was Glad. The man with ithe long beard stood pensively at the curbing gazing at the passing traffic in the street "I hail with delighjt the advent of the automobile," he muttered aloud, "for no longer need " I fear crossing the street lest some jhungry horse mistake me for a walking bale of hay." o :VA . Daily. Thought. Such are the habitual thoughts, such also will be the character of. thy mind, for the s"oul is dying by the thoughts.-Marcis Aurelius. i 4 Hlt'o Utx Into" to have to endure dis- . j. ... tress after every meal. No " wonfler you are J 1 j. j T l. x I S airaia lo eat. , just try HOSTETTER'S STOMApH BITTERS i before meals for a few LJ days and notice the im provement in your gen eral health. It is for all Stomach, and Bowel Ills. Start Today. The Miser. "Here," said Teddy's papa, showing the little boy a coin, "is a penny 300 years old. It was given to me when I was a little boy." "Gee whiz!" ejacu lated Teddy, "Ju3t think of anybody being able to keep a penny as long as that without Spending It." CONSTIPATION ' Munyon's Paw-Paw Fills are unlike all oth er laxatives or cathar tics. They coax the liver into activity by gentle methods, they do not scour; they do not gripe; they do not weaken; but they do start all the secretions of the liver and stom ach in a way that soon puts these organs in a healthy condition and corrects constipation. Munyon's Paw-Paw Pills are a tonic to the stomach, liver and nerves. They invigorata instead of weaken; they enrich the blood (nstead of impover ishing it; they enable the stomach to get all the nourishment from food that is put into it Price 85 cents. All Druggists, The Match. Knicker What did they have In common? Docker Gardening. He had a busi ness plant and she had widow's wed3. 1 Cough, Cold SoreThroat Sloan's liniment gives quick relief for cough, cold, hoarseness sore throat, croup, asthma, hay fever and bronchitis. HERE'S PROOF. Mr. Albert VT. PniCE.of Fredonl, Kan,, write : " W use Sloan' Lini ment In the family nud Ami It an u cllnt reliof for colila anil buy farsr attack. It stop coughing and anew lng almost iiuianUj. smmi ilMMMT RFHEVED SORE THROAT. JlRS. h. IRKWKB,0f MfHtollo, Fla., writs:" 1 huiKht ou bottlo of your I.tniiiiHiit uixt ttdidnieall Ui good ia tha world. My throat wu vry tore, an il 1 cured ina of di; trouble." GOOD FOR COLD AND CROUP. Mr. V. H. STAn, 8?J1 Elmwood ATenue, Chicago, III., write! "A lit tle boy oxt door hj l- croup. I gar the mother Sloan's Unlineut to try. She gaie htm three drop on engar before going to bed, and he got up without the oroup in the morning." Price, 25o., 50o., $1.00 Sloan's Treatisa on the Horse sent free. V 1 . 1 V& t W r fi'--VEH S. Soaa a m k h K'i 9 R. L. 8. IN THE ADIRONDACKS Stevenson, While Fighting Off Dis ease There, Seemed Indifferent to tha Laws of Health. Robert Louis Stevenson, for so wise a man, seems to have been singularly unaware of. or Indifferent to, (the laws of health, but that, too, may have been part of. his wisdom. He spent the winter of 1887 in the Adirondacks struggling j against the disease which was not to subdue him for seven years. He lived in a little cottage that was much overheated and from which all ventiltaion was carefully excluded. The f smoke of his Incessant cigarettes obscured the atmosphere and perhaps helped to drive away the visitors who came to gaze upon him as one gazes at a lion in a den. ; Fashionable call ers were specially unwelcome and Stevenson once remarked, according to an account in the Medical Record, that "it isn't - the great unwashed which I'd read, but the great washed." But whoever else was unwelcome there was always a greeting for Rich ard Mansfield. Itjis an impressive, al most a tremendous picture, that of the clouded room fitfully lit by the flames of the log fire and Stevenson huddled close to the -warmth while Mansfield at the other end of the room gave his weird impersonation of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. It must have been like God looking jupon hla handiwork and finding it good. , FREE-ADVICE For the cure and prevention of every disease with HERBS NATURE'S OWN REMEDIES. Are you iickT Have you a friend that'4 sick? Write today for symptom blank and we will diagnose your case free of charge and tell you what remedies are needed to cure your self at home. Aid Dept American Herb Doc tor, 4158 ArcadeBWgSeattle, Wash. Each Pew a Heater. A Nuremberg church seating 1,200 has an electric heater for each pew. A three-inch iron . tube - incloses a smaller tube wound . with resistance wire, and ..this heater juns in front of the seat and along the back of the pew ahead.' 'Each heater has its own switch. T.- -, Mothers wfll find Mrs. Winelorr's Soothing Byrup ti e beet remedy to usaortaellrahjidrea 9 urlng rte teething period. ; ..-I The Lesser Evil. He Yes I'm going to apply may tal ents; but J don't know whether to go in for art or poetry. -She Oh, poetry 1 He Oh, you've beard some of my verses? She No; but I've seen some of your art Judge. ' ; Don't buy water for bluing-. Liquid blue la al- E lost all water. Buy Bad Croat Ball blue, the lue that' all blue. ; Evil of Untruth. Truth is cleverer and healthier than falsehood. - It is more aristocratic. Like self-control, It is one of the hall marks of a lady. Lies are a malaria that eats into character like a dis ease and breaks down its citadels against the approach of evil. , Thought of It. For a thing that springs mostly from badly digested misinformation, public sentiment is amazingly often right. Puck. Some Measure of Love Important. It is best to love wisely, no doubt; but to love foolishly is better than not to be able to love at all. Thackeray. mm 3& luurrai W. .00 S3J30 SA.OO .so AND sfi.oo SHOES FOR MEN AND WOMEN BEST BOYS SHOES In the WOULD $2.00. 92.50 ant 13.00. , The largest makers of Men's $3.50 and $4.00 shoes in tha world. Alk ronr dealer to ahow von W. L. Donela S3.50. S4.00 and ka.50 ahoea. .1 ut aa srood It) rtrle. fit and wear aa other rnakea coating S5 .00 to S7 the onlv difference i the price. &hoa In all leather, etyiea ana snnpe to suit everyDody. If tou could visit W. L. Don crlat large facto-; riea at Brockton. Mass.. and see for vourxelf how carefully W. I.. Donirla shoes are ml. too would then understand why they are warranted to fit better, look better, hold their shape and wettr j longer roan may umw whimi iuc m privw. ! W. L. Donglas shoe are rot tor mleln yoiiryldmty. orrter uirecivrom (ne l&ciory aim mtb tue luiuuiruifin n prmil. a N..! V. it - i n v. ' .V. If I a woMUfc J ."3 1 y a ' i ' wowTmJ t f jbiiTUias " ..cATmoii TAKE NO 8UBSTITUTK Shoe for eyery mem her o( the family, at all priwn, by Parcel Poet, poMnite free. Mflie for 1 lliM(rtt d Catalof. It will iiliow yon how lowler by mail, f and why ma can save money on your footwear. W. I DOUOLAr - -' Brocktou, Mam. See that ijW.L.DouglM name is damped, on tne Bottom. "WW Mil SPOHN MEDICAL Ct 1;, COLT BJSTEMPER Can b bandied very eaaUy.- Thlrk are cured, and all othwt ! Aine stable, no matte how exnoHed,' ton from having th dis ease, by using GPOHN'S LIQCI1) DIBTKMPKB CUKE. Give ea tlie tontrae or In food. Acts on the blood and expels perms of all forms of distemper. Best remedy ever known for mares in fon). One bottle ftnaranfeed to cure one tow 6Ce and tl a bottle; Vb r.nd $iJ aozon, of drugpists and hArijawdeaprs. ornent ex pram paid by nianufacturers. Cut shows now to poultice throats. Onr Fraa Booklet Kives everything. Locn aizvnts wajoted. Largest selling horse remedy in exictence-twelve years. CkamUU and BacterioloffUta. GOSHEN. IND U. S. A- GOT HIS NOTE3 MIXED UP GIRL SUFFERED 1 TERRIBLY At Regular Intervals Says . Lydia E. Pinkham's Vege table Compound com pletely cured her. Adrian, Texas. "I take pleasure In adding my testimonial to the great list and hope that it will be of interest to suf fering women. For four years I suffered untold agonies at regular intervals. Such pains and cramps, severe chills andsicknessat stom ach, then finally hem orrhages until I would be nearlf blind. I had five doctors and none of them could do more than relieve me for a time. ' I saw your advertisement in a pa per and decided to try Lydia E. Pink ham's Vegetable Compound. I took seven boxes of it and used two bottles of the Sanative Wash, and I am'com pletely cured of my trouble. When I began taking the Compound I only weighed ninety-six pounds and now weigh one hundred and twenty-six pounds. If anyone wishes to address mq in person I will cheerfully answer all letters, as I cannot speak too highly of the Pinkham remedies." Miss Jes BIB Marsh, Adrian, Texas. Hundreds of such letters expressing gratitude for the good Lydia E. Pink ham's Vegetable Compound has accom plished are constantly being received, proving the reliability of this grand old remedy. If you want special advice write to Lydia E. Pinkham Medicine Co. (confi dential) Lynn Mass. Tour letter will be opened read and answered by a woman and held In strict confidence. "DIDN'T HURT A BIT" ) is what they all say ML, a, MM. i mi am oi oar Painless Methods of Extracting Teeth. Out-of-town pth pi can bay their plat and brids. wotk ftniihed in on. day if Bceasaarr. Aa abaoluta guar ntaSk backsd by 28 yaara in Portland. Wise Dental Co. iOriTCC HOURS; Itir.M. Somlaya till 1 Phaawai A 2029; Mala 2039. ralUnc Bidg.. Third and WaaMt(Mt. Partlaad Absent-Mlnded Man Haa "8orni"t)1ffl- culty at the Book Store and ' ' the Grocers. As the little man walked absent mindedly along the sidewalk he sud denly stopped in front of a bookstore. It recalled to him the meaning of that piece of string on his finger, and with a brightened face he entered. ' " "Just a minute," he said to the clerk. "My wife wanted me to get a book for her a certain novel she's! neara a good deal aoout. i must una the memorandum Bhe gave me. ' She wrote the name on a ysllp of paper, and I put it in my pocket.". After considerable fumbling he pro duced a small bit of paper, and laying it on the counter,' took out his spec tacles and adjusted them on his nose. "Here's the nans Cobb's Coma-' tine. Yes, that's if ' - f . "I I'm afraid 1 don't know" the book, sir," said the clerk apologetical ly, "but I'll look through the list of new ones." And he ran his eye over the list on the wall. "No,-I'm sorry to say I can't find it here. - - You .are sure of the name?" r: " "Yes, it's right here on, this, piece of paper." - " ' "Well, I'm afraid we haven't got It then." .: t "But but I don't dare to go home to my wife without It. . I promised to get.it for her." The clerk called to another in the back of the store, who came forward. To the other he said: "Say, Bill, do you know of a book called Cornatlne, by a fellow named Cobb?" - "What's that?" he asked in sur prised . The old gentleman broke In: "Cobb's Cornatinq. Here, see for your self." , , , "I'm afraid you've made a mistake," said the new arrival (with a twinkle. "Cobb's Cornatine is a new breakfast food." "Ah, now I see why the grocer didn't understand jme when I asked him for a package of Queen," remark ed the customer In manifest relief. O. Kaemmerling in Puck. To Break in New Shoes. Always hake In Allen' Foot-jase, a powder, ft cure hot, sweating, aching, wollen feet, Lure corns, ingrowing nails and bunions. At ill druggist and shoe teres, 25c. Dont accent ny substitute. SaraplemalledFREli. Address alien & Olmsted, Le Roy, N.Y. In Classic Boston. Signs seen in Boston, according to the Transcript: Placard at a moving! picture snow: "Young children must have parents." In a barber shop win dow: "During alterations patrons will be shaved in the back." Sien in a Tremont street store: "Empty boxes suitable for Christmas gifts." In a! tailor's shop: "We dye for others, why not let us aye lor you?" In a cloth ing store: "These pants will look bet ter on your legs than on our hands." A silversmith has a place next door to a restaurant.. The former having put up a placard: "Jewelry of all kinds plated." The restaurant keeper fol lowed with this: "Oysters and little neck clams plated." , TO CURE A COLD IN ONB DAY Take LAXATIVE BROMO Quinine Tablet Druggists refund money if it falla to cure. E. W. GROVE'S signature u on each box. 26c. Fort Scott Witticism. At a recent banquent In Fort Scott the Tribune says, a man was called upon to make a speech. Of course he was surprised that he should be asked to talk, but he was equal to the oc casion, and he , stood up and said: "Gentlemen, you have been eating a turkey stuffed with sage, how you will listen to a sage stuffed with turkey." Everybody laughed and the man im mediately became known as a famous wag, and the mot is highly esteemed in those parts. Kansas City Star. Water in bluing- la adulteration.. Glass and wa ter make liquid blua eootly. Buy Red Cross Bail Blue, makes clotbea whiter than snow. Appreciate Your Blessings. Don't kick because you have to but ton your wife's waist. Be glad your wife has a waist, and doubly glad you have a wife to button a waist for. Some men's wives' waists have not bottons on to button. Some men's wives' waists who have buttons on to button don't care a continental wheth er they are buttoned or not. Some men don't have any wives with waists with buttons on to button. Teague (Tex.) Chronicle. ' FILES CURED DJ I TO 14 DATS Tour dnuntist will refund money if PAZO OINT. MENT fail to cura any eaae of Itching. Blind, Bleediitg or Protruding Pilea in 6toUdava. 60e Story Jones Tells. Some years ago in a western min ing town a man was found dead in his hotel room hanged to a bedpost by his suspenders. The Jury of miners brought in the following verdict at the coroner's inquest: "Deceased came to his death by coming home full and mistaking himself for his pants." i New Methods! irf yogue. ,JlatiMide-.yfliaixsvlowii . that sign 'No -'Agents or Solicitors Allowed in This Building?'" "It's no use any more," replied the Janitor. "Anybody who wants to take down the public's spare change ndwadays gets out a prospectus and uses postage stamps." .j. 'Would Le4v Nature Alone. !-n."When Nature has decided on the color of an. eye, It ift.not for man to alter; it," remarked Mr. Plowden at Marylebone in fining -a man for black ening another man's optic. London Chronicle. You Meed NO "SPRINd MEDICINE" II yon keep your liver active, year bowels -.,.. "regular and-your dlgeetloo good Regulate the Bowels Stlmulnto the Liver Improve Digestion and Purify the Blood $100 TO $500 SAVED - On Each Automobile. Oor.'CO-oper&tivft sales plan ables you to buy a brand new au ' tomobile; only $475 required, bal ance easy terms. For full partio v . .. alar address , GERLINGER MQMCARCO. " "' 690 Waahlngtoa street. PORTLAND, OREGON. Art or Service. A leader of a chamber music string quartet used to say that he was never sure when he approached a private house whether he would be let in with the caterer's men at the back or with the honored guests at the front. New York Evening Post MR. A. H. POWELL, Manufacturing Ohemlrt, .Spokane, Wh.v -Sear Sir: Hairing snffsno. irith ttamaeh troubl for a number of yean, and tried a great many doctors -and a great manj pro prietary preparations but obtained no per manent relief until 1 took your stomaoh remedy, and am pleased to Bay that I have no further stomach troubleiid oan eat any thing I dealre and suffer no bid result. I am a profemional nurse, having unraed for 80 yean, some of .the time for Dr. Holb of Hew York City, the greatest specialist on child ren's dineueea; aim had charge of Wardner Hospital at Wardner, Idaho, for two yean. Since learning by my own eiperienoft the great beneHt from the uee of Powell's Stom aoh Remedy. I have recommended it to a great many for children and adults, and in eaoh oae it has been remarkable for the good It has done. -J ioheerfully recommend it to anyone suffering with any kind of stom ach trouble, as 1 am anxious to aid anyone suffering from sickness of any kind, and I have never known of medicine to compare with Powell's Stomach Kernel? for all kinds of stomaoh trouble, loan truly. s . W ' ELSIE STEINER. tISO Boon Ave. w -- . GET-' OPI HON Then See If the Remedies I Furnish Do Not Improve -Your Condition. c. Gee Wo a Gee Wo For years I have been established in Portland and an s .ow letters . from former Datients hvl; ? mi. nt parte of the orthwest ! t1 1 1.. nesty of my claims. If you art e vrTerer from some sort of -sickness yea will do well to consult me, or, if :- - five too far away, write tne of your, condition. For 4 cents I wili'scnyou-.a consultation blank and circular, so ta&t r . v famous Chinese herb and root remaiea may be had. :. u:-- vr-;-t' " asaaawssswaaa ;f.'.-f ChmsserMedlciiia- Co."' ' "'.162i First St,: Cor. lorrison ":rl .PORTLAND, OIL ,-. P. N. V. WHKX wriHug to adwrtber, " j!, a, " tioa thU pp.T. . . , PUTNAM FADELESS DYES Color mora trooda brtjhter and taster colon than any other dy. On 10c package colors aak, wool and cotton rvvitOr wU and is ruarantl to tnva prtoct rwsuiUk Ak dMlex, OX wo wiU send postpaid at 10c a pacicasje. MrMt it c avocaOal bw to iy, buc and mix coloxa. UO.N'aOE D&UG COUPAir.t.uixicy, li.