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About Southwest Oregon recorder. (Denmark, Curry County, Or.) 188?-18?? | View Entire Issue (June 2, 1885)
Whittling for a Lobster.
J oh a l'athburn, who is oao of the
stingiest men in Galveston, went to the
fish market last Sunday. He was ac
companied by his dog, which animal's
tail was seized by. a live lobster. The
dog started for home at full . speed, the
lobster "still retaining its hold on the
"YVhistle for your dog to come back,"
exclaimed the indignant fishmonger.
"Whistle for your , lobster to come
back," retorted Rathburn." Sitingt.
A Delicate Question
One afternoon as the Hon. W. C.
Haines, a lawyer well known in Western
New York, was traveling over the Cen
tral he was "approached by the conduc
tor, who was one of his innumerable
friends, and who announced that he
wanted his advice on a rather delicate
" Well, what is it?"
. "Well, Mr. Haines, the fact Is, there's
a big, two-fisted fellow forward in the
smoker that won't pay his fare."
"Well, what I want to ask you is:
Had I better let"him ride free, or take a
licking?" Drake 's Magazine.
A Narrow Escape
- They were telling some pretty tough
stories, and presently his turn came.
"Ye," he began, clearing his throat,
"people lose their lives sometimes in the
foolishest sort o' way. I recollect an
Irishman, poor fellow, who some . years
ago sat down on what he s'posed was a
keg o' black sand to smoke his dudeen.
After finishin' hi3 fust pipe he got up an'
knocked the live ashes right into the
'Many killed besides him!" asked a
"Killed blown up."
"Oh, there wusn't no explosion,
nuthin' explosive 'bout black sand.
"We had a very cold winter," said a
traveling man to a Westerner on a train
between Milwaukee and St. Paul.
"Yes," was the response, "purty cold
Colder up here, I guess, than it was in
"I don't know about 'that; it was so
cold along the lake shore that stove lids
froze in the holes, and when a man went
to bed at night he had to break the cov
ers with a club before he could turn them
down to get under them."
"That's rawther cool, but it's not a
patchin' to what we have up in this coun
try. I'll tell you a little experience I had
in January. I run a livery stable, and a
mountain tough came in to hire a rig. It
was so cold that I. wouldn't let anything
go out, and the cuss got mad and begun
to tear around. I follercd him out on the
street, and the first thing I knowed, he
had his pistol out, pointin' it right at me.
I thought I was a goocr and backed
off about twenty feet when he blazed
"Did he hit you?"
"No; and that's the funny part of it.
The air was froze bo hard around the
muzzle of the gun that the bullet bounced
back and knocked one of his eyes out,
and I had to pay the blamed fool's doc
tor's bill to keep him from suin' me for
damages." Merchant' Traveler.
A Woman's Way.
George W. Hemingway was bashful
oh, very, very bashful. Would it never
strike twelve? Helen asked herself, as
she sat down for a moment and watched
him with the other skaters gliding mer
rily about. While she gazca George did
actually strike struck one but it was
only a fat man, and it took ten minutes
to get them untangled; so, after all, it
didn't help her metaphor much.
By-and-bye George saw Helen sitting
there alone and he bore down upon her.
He was still suffering from the embar
rassment of his fall. , He would conceal
his emotions. Like other young men in
such limo he would be funny. So he
"Would you be willing to accept
this rink if I'd trive it to you?"
That wasn't funny enough to kill,
still Helen thought she saw a chance to
play a follow and count on the dark
red. She hadn't visited two winters in
Chicago for nothing. Quick a3 a flash
she slipped in a cartridge loaded for
"Accept this ring?" she coyly fal
tered. "Oh, George, you are so abrupt
but you may see papa."
George gasped, but he let the bill go
through without debate. Five minutes
later the two were skating around the
rink as one. George was the won.
Boston Journal. "
A Bad HreaV . " . V
Sam Peterby, a merchant from the In
terior, while attending the Mardl Gras
festivities at Galveston, United business
with pleasure by purchasing a bill of
goods from a prominent firm. He was
very politely received, and one of the
proprietors showed him over the - im
mense store. On reaching the fourth
floor the customer perceived a speaking
tube on the wall, the first thing of the
kind he had ever seen.
"What is that?" he asked.
"Oh, that is a speaking tube; it is a
great convenience. We can converse
with clerks on the first floor without the
trouble of going down stairs."
"Can they hear what you say through
that?" asked the visitor. ,
"Certainly; and they can reply at the
"You don't say so!" exclaimed the
visitor. "May I talk through it?"
"Certainly," was the reply.
The visitor put his mouth to the
speaking tube and asked :
"Are Sam Peterby 's goods packed up
The people in the office must have sup
posed ft was somebody else speaking,
for a moment later the distinct reply
came back :
"No. We have, not packed them yet.
We are waiting for a telegram from his
town. We believe he is a slippery
A Street Car Iloinance
The bleak and uninviting interior of a
street car was the scene of a proposal of
marriage. The hour was 9 :30 ; the car
one of the amber-hued chariots of the
Thirteenth and Fifteenth streets line, in
Philadelphia, and the interested parties
a pretty girl of about nineteen summers,
with dark eyes and rosy cheeks, and a
young man of two or three and twenty.
"Are you cold, Amelia?" came in gentle
tones across -the car. "Yes, Charley,"
was the half-whispered reply. Charley
snuggled up close and took Amelia's
hand in his. H then etopced. at her in
a loving way, looicea across at tne re
porter, who was apparently asleep, no
ticed that the conductor was entirely
occupied in keeping his feet warm, and,
after giving one or two coughs, said,
with a smile; "Do you recollect what I
told you the first time I met you,
Amelia?" "No.Charley. What?" "Why,
that I had never been in love, and that it
would be a cold day when I'd ask a girl
to marry me." "Oh, yes; but why do
you ask?" "Well, this is a very cold
day, Amelia, isn't it?" "Yes, Charley 1
but. why i" and she blushed a3 she
glanced up at him, and his face drew
nearer hers. "Well, will you?" There
was a silence for a moment but for the
jingle, jingle of the bells and the shuf
fling of the conductor's feet upon the
icy platform. Then she slipped her
hand into his, blushed even rosier than
before and whispered "Yes." "Bless
you, my children," exclaimed the re
porter; and as the lovers half started up,
abashed at the unexpected discovery of
their secret, the scribe shot out of the
doorway and hurried away. Philadel
There are two live barometers in Sac
ramento, Cal., that have proved trust
worthy, even where artificial instru
ments have failed. One of them is a cat
fish, which is kept in a water trough.
No matter how clear the weather may
be, this fish always, before a storm,
makes it a point to swim about with his
head below the water and his tail above.
When the rain begins to fall he goes out
of sight until the weather changes. The
other is a couple of frogs under the floor
of the police office, which have never yet
been seen by any of the police officers,
but who presage a storm several hours
in advance of the barometical indica
tions by a series of peculiarly discordant
croaks. No matter now clear and bright
the night, tho police officers then make
it a point to prepare for a storm, and the
warning has never proved in vain.
The moss crop of Florida, says tht
Pensacola Commercial, is worth more
than the cotton crop, and can be put on
the market at less expense. The demand
exceeds the supply, and there is not s
county in which this product is not go
ng to waste.
FOR FEMININE READERS.
A Kentucky Talisman
A novel custom prevails among the
ltdiesof Winchester, Ivy., which will
immediately commend itself to maiden
hdics growing old, cays a corre
spondent. Tney say that she
who puts on a silk knit garter the first
day of the year and wears it continuous
ly will certainly marry during the year.
The mother of a certain" young lady, be
ing much pleased with the silken ring
let worn by her daughter, proposed to
knit a "fellow" for it, but the young
lady declined, saying she had confidence
in the bewitching circlet, and preferred
the natural coming of the fellow.
Oddities in House Decoration
The demand for novelties in household
decoration does not abate, according to
the report of the jewelers. An old shoe
or an old hat gives an idea for abon bon
case. Every animal in the menageries is
employed by various artisans. Botany
as well as zoology is ransacked for de
signs, and all the combinations apparent
ly possible are made. Nevertheless,
there seems to be no limit to the fertil
ity of the designers. In referring to this
subject a bric-a-brac dealer, with an idle
3uarter of an hour on his hands, con
ucted a reporter through his collection,
end as he went along his counters he
"There is a lamp that has the form of
a white owl, from whose head rises the
-stem of an immense rose with closely
folded leaves, which entirely conceal the
globe. There is a stork in flight, with
its wings spread out and its legs ex
tended. It is ornamented, and is to be
suspended from the chandelier by invis
ible threads. There is a candlestick
with a gold grape leaf for its
base, and with a light receiver or
crystal painted in gold. There is a
big elephant of porcelain, with an open
ing in its back for begonias, and there is
a porcelain rase representing a tree trunk
overgrown with climbing plants. There
is a mirror to be bordered with cut flow
ers, and to represent a minature lake in
the centre of a dinner tab'.e. That crys
tal ball, mounted upon a spiral pedestal,
wyou observe, pona nueapaiit there came
That dagger is a paper cutter, and its
sheath forms a thermometer. That cat
is an inkstand. The head in a flaring
bonnet is the same; lift the face and
there is the ink-well. That gold um
bered ship, with silver sails and a cargo
incased in Austrian glass is a liquor set.
Here is a baby carriage that represents a
slipper lined with plush, and here is an
other shaped like a canoe. That tree of
gold, a nest of eggs, is for Easter. This
paper contains a Geneva timepiece, and
this one has a clock on one side, a bar
ometer on the other, a thermometer be
tween, and a geographical globe above.
OV Uiak IUGI kU JXVOlAUlf 4U T 4... .
The German ladies are trying to intro
duce crinoline again.
Great bunches of flowers, all of one
kind, are favoiite hat and bonnet decor
ations. -The peak-brimmed poke bonnet reap
pears among the millinery importations
Braid and embroidery in the greatest
imaginable variety of patterns adorn the
new jersey jackets.
Embroidery of all sorts seems to be
running wild. . An exaggerated soutache
braid, fully a quarter of an inch wide, is
among the novelties.
Among the prettiest and most artistic
of the new woolen costumes are those
which are embroidered in chenille shaded
in several colors of wool.
For spring, loose flowers, garlands
sprays, bouquets, ferns in fact, any de
signs from nature are reproduced in
dress goods to please the fancy of the
Very few jewels are observed in the
evening; there are leaders of fashion
who wear scarcely any, others who wear
none at all, just as their own fancy dic
tates. It is said that for summer wear light
fabrics will be made with corsages pleat
ed on the shoulder, crossed in front and
belted at the waist, the sash or belt hav
ing long ends.
With plain plaited skirts are again ap
pearing the narrow flounces reaching up
to the waist, which in thoir materials,
and to low-cut bodices with short sleeves,
lior Centre table ornament, to .cftd stinotonous that it will be, probably,
M reflect tbeJV'-. TL morning just asniV'vwrto one or two examples.
are especially becoming and suitable as
ball dresses for young girls.
Waistcoats of jerseys are, as a rule,
narrow, of a contrasting color with the
rest of the jacket, and are braided or
beaded to match the braid of the jacket,
and fastened with small lasting, metal,
crochet, or fine enameled buttons. "' ;
Jerseys of wool rival those of silk for
dressy suit. They are elaborately but
tastefully braided with Hercules and
Titan soutaches, and buttons of small
Bize. They como in every color and
shade, as well as the black and cream
. Nature's Riddles.
Chickens two minutes after they hare
left the egg, will follow 'with their
eyes the movements of crawling insects
and peck at them, judging distance and
direction with almost infallible accur
acy. They will instinctively appreciate
sounds, readily running toward an in
visible hen hidden in a box when they
hear her "call." Some young birds
also have an innate, instinctive horror
of the sight of a hawk and of the sound
of its voice. Swallows, titmice, tomtits
and wrens, after having been confined
from birth, are capable of flying nucces
sively at once when liberated on their
wings having attained the necessary
frowth to render flight possible. The
)uke of Argyll relates some very inter
esting particulars about the instincts of
birds, especially of the water ousel, the
merganser,-and the wild duck. Even
as to the class of beasts I find recorded :
"Five young polecats were found com
fortably imbedded in dry, withered
grass, and in a side hole, of proper di
mensions for such a larder, were forty
frogs and two toads, all alive, but
merely capable of sprawling a little.
On examination the whole number,
toads and all, proved to have been pur
posely and dexterously bitten through
the brain." Evidently the parent pole
cat had thus provided the young with
food which could be kept per
fectly fresh, because alive, and yet was
rendered quite unable to ' escape.
This singular instinct is like others which
are yet more fully developed among in
sects a class of animals the instincts of
which are so numerous, wonderful, and
well known, but very remarkable, exam
ple of a complex instinct closely related
to that already mentioned in the case of
the polecat.! The female wasp has to
provide fresh, living animal food for her
progeny, which, when it quits its egg,
quits it in the form of an almost helpless
grub, utterly unable to catch, retain, or
kill an active, struggling prey. Accord-,
ingly the mother insect has not only to
Erovide and place beside her eggs suita
le living prey, but so to treat it that it
may be a helpless, unresisting victim.
That victim may be a mere caterpiller,
or it may be a great, powerful grasshop
per, or even that most fierce, active and
rapacious of insect tyrants, a fell and
venomous spider. Whichever it may be,
the wasp adroitly stings it at the spots
which induce complete paralysis as to '
motion, let us hope as to sensation also.
This done, the wasp entombs the helpless
being with its own egg, and leaves it for
the support of the future grub. Fort
As a means of suicide the small venom
ous serpents of Oriental countries have
always been" in vogue the asp of Cleo
patra recurring to every one's memory as
a prominent example. In certain paits
of Bengal there is said to be a race of
gypsies, one of whom for a fee will fur-
nisn a email cobra to any applicant,
"and no questions asked." A man who
desires to commit murder procures one
of these reptiles and places it within a
bamboo just long enough to let the head
protrude a .trifle at one end, and the tail
at the other. Armed with this deadly
weapon the murderer crcops softly to his
enemy's tent at dead of night, cuts a
hole in the wall, and introduces the bam
boo. The tortured reptile, careless
upon whom it wrecks its animosity,
strikes its fangs into the sleeper, then is
withdrawn, and the assassin steals silent
ly away Gentleman' Magazine.
London has a cremation co-operative
association, whero, by the payment of a
guinea a year, you can be cremated in
first class style for $00, and your ashes
will be returned to your relatives.
The native population of the HrwaiiJ!,i
Islands is 4,000 less than it was si ye .
La . ;-- 'rue wasp affords another