AMERICAN NEWSPAPER WIT
A BATCH OP HUMOROUS ST0BIE3
raoax vabious soubces,
A Xew Papa Sufficient Cause Worse
Than iTIoruionUiu Swells Recom
liijf Mure Swollen 1111 uols Poetry.
A NEW PAPA. "
Little Pet "Do you know that we are
to have a new papa ?"
Little Jack "No; I dess you is 'sta
ken." Little Pet "No, I ain't. Nurse 6aid
mamma was goin' to be married again
and that would give us a new papa."
Little Jack "Who is it?"
"Little Pet "That Mr. Simpkins who
never brings us any candy."
Little Jack "Is ma doia' to make him
our papa ?"
Little Pet "Yes."
Little Jack "Serves Urn right." PlU
adelphia Call.
SUFFICIENT CAUSE.
One fine morning Adolphus is observed
upon the street deporting himself in a
manner becoming a gentleman of elegant
leisure.
VI thought you were selling goods
for Catchem and Clothem," remarked a
friend.
"I was, but I don't stay there any
more."
"Why, what's the matter?"
' " They cut down my salary, and I re
fused to remain any longer."
" How much did they cut down your
salary?"
" Oh, they cut it all down."
' WORSE THAN MORMONI3M.
' Talk about Mormonism," said Bul
ger; " I don't see what right people have
to howl about it when such things as this
are permitted in Pennsylvania," and ha
pointed his finger to an item in the paper
he had in his hand.
'. " What is it?" inquired Sucker.
" Why here it tells of one man who has
married no less than 1,500 women."
"Incredible."
" But it is so. His name is Mayes and
lie marries a new woman every few days
and yet the authorities don't interfere."
" Horrible 1 How does he evade the
law?"
" He doesn't evade it. He is a justice
of the peace, and his place is a sort of
Gretna Green for Ohio and West Vir
ginia runnaway couples."
"Oh!" said Sucker, and then went off
muttering something about people being
too smart. Sitings. -
SWELLS BECOME MORE 8W0LLEN
He was a fit subject for ffuvinsr. His
pants were put on in such a way that the
Sip pocket was most convenient. His
coat, of ancient cut, had lost one tail, but
two brilliantly polished buttons still
adorned it. Through the holes in his
quasi-Panama hat the cold wind was
playing with his long gray hair. En
tering a broker's office, he said, quietly :
"Won't some of you young gentlemen
help an old soldier?" The boys let out
on him.
"By Jove, donchew know," said one,
"looks as if he'd fallen off the elevated
tramway."
"I say, old chappie," drawled another,
"la-ancy Dra-nay is tne only enemy aw
you've evaw faced," and so on through
the crowd. , .
The old fellow suddenly straightened
himself up. The memory of days long
passed seemed to rejuvenate him. Draw
ing off a tattered glove from one hand
and a stocking from the other, he sailed
in. One swell went through the glass
partition into the private office, another
smashed the ticker in his night, a third
tried to hide himself in the tape basket,
As the old chap walked out he picked up
. a pocket-book some one had dropped,
and muttered :
"It's funny if a man who fit with An
drew Jackson can't git away with people
who only pertend to be British." New
York Journal.
POETRY IX ILLINOIS.
"I want to see the poetry editor," said
a young lady, who stepped very briskly
into the room "the gentleman that puts
all those lovely pieces in the paper every
Saturday. Don't you think they're sweet?"
The horse reporter ' nodded acquies
cence in the saccharine character of the
efforts alluded to.
"I woald like to see him personally,"
continued the young lady, "because it
would be so nice to talk with him about
Tennyson and Longfellow, a.nd all those
other dear old things, wouldn't it?"
The personal friend of Maud S. again
inclined his head.
"You don't think he'll be in again this
afternoon, do you? I'd like awfully to
aee him. But perhaps you can help me.
I'm in an awful fix."
"What's the matter?" asked the horse
Teporter.
"Why," continued the young lady, "I
live over on the West Side, and we've
.got a literary society, and at the next
meeting I'm down to read a paper on
'Poetry as an Art,' and "
"Is poetry an art?" asked the horse
Teporter. ' 'I thought it was an affliction. "
"Well, I don't know about that," said
the young lady, "but, anyhow, I've got
to get up this paper, and it occurred to
me that perhaps one of you editors could
assist me. I want to get some extracts
from the works of our best-known poets
to illustrate what I shall say. Novv,
there's Mr. Tennyson, tor instance, Wo
written some fine poetry, hasn't he"
"Yes. Alf has occasionally shot some
Eretty fair verses athwart the literary
orizon."
"Could you give me a specimen of his
style?" eagerly asked the young lady. "I
never read a line of those big poets in
my life nothing but what the Tribune
poets write."
We have got some daisies from Daisy-
ville on our staff, "said the horse reporter,
"but if you want a few gems from the
old masters I suppose vou can have them.
Tennyson's 'May Queen' is one of his
most popular poems. Want some of
that?"
"Why, yes. I should think tw or
three verses would be just the thing."
"WelL" said the. horse reporter, "it
goes like this :"
" You must wake and call me early, call me
early, mother dear:
To-morrow'll be the boss old day for pop and
einererbeer:
And when they strike the pie, mother, Til say
my iiieii say
For I'm to be Queen of the May, mother, Txa
to De vueen or the May.
" There's many a nifty girl, they Eay, but
' none lavs over me:
There's Margaret and Mary, and cross-eyed
Lu;y Lee;
But you bet your life I take the cake, and of
biscuit sweep the tray:
So I'm to be Queen of the May. mother, I'm
to be Queen of the May.' "
"Do you think that is enough?" asked
the young lady.
"Oh, yes; those verses will give 'em an
idea of Alf's gait. Variety is what they
want, you know. You ought to have
something from Bryant. His 'Indian
Girl's Lament' is pretty well thought of."
"Is itf I'm sure I don't know. I shall
leave it all to you."
" vV ell, I can give you a chunk of it."
"Do, if you please."
"This is the way it starts:"
An TnA Ian mVI n.c cif.'nri- vhami
Her lover, Walking-Flea-Patch, lay;
Beside her stood a spavined horse
That sadly chewed some musty hay.
Upon a stump herself she flung,
And then this simple lay she sung:
1 Tve placed the bottle at your head,
Oh Walking-Flea-Paten, so that when
. You strike the town and paint it red
' You will not miss your Laughing-Hen,
Who, sitting in the wigwam will
- Adore her noble warrior stlll.w
"Now, you see," said the horse re
porter, "those selections cover the child
ish glee and loving trustfulness rackets.
What you want to finish with is some
thing pathetic something that will make
the young women sniffle. Hood's 'Song
of the Shirt' ought to do that nicely.
Suppose we sling 'em a few lines of that.
"very well," said the young lady.
"You know I depend wholly on your
judgment in this matter."
"Well, here it is:"
'With fingers weary and worn,
In a litle five-room flat,
A woman tat with eyelids red
Trying to trim a hat.
, Rip, turn, twist.
Then give it a spiteful flirt,
While beside her lies like a ghostly thin
Her husband's buttonless shirt.
Oh, girls with brothers dear !
Oh, girls who hope to be wives !
Remember that shirts with battons are
The dream of men's hard lives I
Rip, turn, twist,
Till your hands are weary and worn
But the wind will sweep with a wailing sigh
Through the pants that are ever torn.'''
"You're very kind," said the young
lady, going.
"Don't mention it. Come in again
when you think we are all out." Chica
go Tribune.
The Fremont Family.
A New York letter says of John C
Fremont and his family :
The residence of the Fremonts is a
modest white house, perched high on the
inside of the broad road that winds
through trees along the New Brighton
beach, and its front windows commancj
a wide reach of the New York bay and
the estuary of the Kill von Kull. There
aro two sons and a daughter in the house
of Fremont. The eldest son, John
Charles, or "Jack," as he is familiarly
called at home, lives, with his handsome
wife and two sturdy boys, up the Hud
son. He is in the navy, and his duties
arc connected with the arrival and de
parture of ships in this harbor. His
younger brother, Frank, is a lieutenant
in the army, stationed up in Montana
Territory, whither he has taken the young
wife he Recently captured in New York
a daughter of John D. Townsend, the
lawyer. Both of the boys closely resem
ble their father. "When Frank went
West," said Mrs. Fremont, "I suggested
that he stop and call on General Sibley,
in Minnesota, who had never seen him.
He did it ; called in citizen's dress, and
said: 'General Sibley, who am I?' 'You
are a Fremont,' said the general; there's
no mistaking you. How is your father?' "
The sons are both tall, black-haired,
black-eyed, and "bearded like a purd,"
and they both, like their sisters, show
strains of their Gallic blood the influ
ence of their grandfather, the poor,
scholarly French gentleman who came to
Virginia at the beginning of the century
and found their grandmother in hei
teens. Mrs. Fremont, that "Jessie J3en
ton," the mention of whose name notable
in the campaign of 1856 always evoked a
cheer, holds her own remarkably well,
It doesn't seem possible that she could
have made her famous runaway match
nearly forty-three years ago. She was a
handsome blonde when she ran away
from the headquarters of "Old Bullion,"
in Washington, and joined the fortunes
of the young explorer; now her hair is
as white as snow, but she shows lew in
dications of ageing, and talks as brilliantly
as ever.
Color Blindness.
Little Nell "Mamma, what is colo:
blind?"
Mamic "Inability to tell one coloi
from anjther, dear."
Little Nell "Then I dess the man
that made my g'ography is color blind.'
Mamma "And why, pet?"
Little Nell " 'Tause he's got Green
land painted yellow."
"A chip of the old block" The miss
ing arm of the Venus de Milo.
HOPE'S EOMG.
The go'den dreams of youth
Assume a guise of truth
Which age keeps never,
For Hope's voice singeth ever.
"Oh, youth and strong endeavor,
Can win the highest good f Srever."
Love's subtle intuition
Divines life's glad fruition,
Distrusting never;
And sweetly Hope sings ever
"True love and sweet endeavo.
Shall hold the highest good forever."
Love's sacred tryst Is broken,
Heartbreaking words are spoken
Her bonds to sever;
But still Hope singeth ever,
"Brave heart and stroDg endeavor
Must find the highest good forever."
Pale hands are crossed in death;
Gone is the quivering breath;
And still a low voice never
Stops echoing, echoing ever,
"Brave heart and strong endeavor
Have won the highest good forever."
. Helen M. Winslow.
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
Women generally are clothes observ
ers.
It seems strange that no matter how
much gold a man may steal he is only
sent to the penitentiary for the guilt.
Sbijtings.
A Somerville young lady i3 saidtopos
sess a mania for starting fires. She will
get over that when she is married. Phil
adelphia Call.
A little girl in church, after the con
tribution box had passed, complacently
said: "I paid for four, mamma. Was
that right?" Anonymous.
"But," said the serenaded man, "I
must go out and make a speech. Some
thing must be done to stop the playing
oi that band." Boston fost.
An exchange says that Noah was the
first pitcher on record. He "pitched the
ark within and without." The game
was finally called on account of the rain.
An Indiana jail-bird recently scraped
off the back of a mirror and swallowed
it. It was a cold day for him when the
mercury went down. Burlington Free
Press.
When you see a policeman heading a
cow for the pound it's no use to tell him
that there are 15v000,000 cows in the
United States. He doesn't want but the
one. DetroitFree Press.
A writer in the New York Sun con
tends that the goose is an older bird than
the American eagle. Our experience
leads to the belief that it is a good deal
tougher. Troy Times.
The United States has 16.24 medical
practitioners to every 10,000 of popula
tion. And yet it is quite a common
thing for an American to live to a com
paratively ripe age. Boston Transcript.
"I Climb to rest," is the name of
Lucy Larcom's latest poem. Whence the
inference that her poetry does not pay
enough to permit Miss Larcom, to room
on the parlor floor. Rochester Express.
"Well, sir," said Farmer Furrow to a
friend, "I was never so insulted in my
life. Why, I was down in Washington
last week and one fellow had the impu
dence to ask me if I wasn't a Congressr
man. New York Journal.
It is not so strange that the annexation
of Canada to the United States is not
strongly advocated by men in positions
of public trust. . They kind of like to
think that in case anything happens
Canada is a foreign country. Lowell
Citizen. ,
"What influence has the moon upon
the tide?" asked the professor. The
class wag replied that he didn't know
exactly wha-. influence it had upon the
tied, but that it had a tendency to make
the untied awful spoony. Burlington
Free Press.
"Who is the first lady in the land?"
nervously inquires a contemporary. When
you come to Philadelphia, if you will
slick yourself up a little and comb the
burrs out of your hair we will take you
up to the house and introduce you to her.
Philadelphia Call.
"Was Early Man a Savage?'" asks a
magazine writer. That depends. If the
early man was dressed to catch the 4 a.
m. train, and his collar button fell be
hind the bureau, the probabilities are
that he was as savage as they make 'em.
Norristoicn Herald,
A neat story of the late Baron Roths
child is told in the French papers. He
was very busy one morning, when the
vicomte de L. P. was admitted into
bis office. The baron, absorbed in his
reading, said without lifting his head:
"I am at your orders, sir; take a chair."
"Pardon me," was the answer, "lam
the Vicomte de L. P." "Ah," said the
baron, not looking up, " take two chairs,
then."
A. certain member of the Detroit mu
nicipal government is the possessor of a
splendid growth of beard and long,
drooping mustaches. Recently he dined
iway from home, and at the table sat one
of those infants you have all read about.
Aiter staring for some time in open as
tonishment at the guest, the. interesting
pouth roared out at the top of his voice:
"Mai ma! he has got a mouth; I saw
him put a cracker in it I" Detroit Jour
nal. ,
Maid of Texas, ere I go,
Tell me if your clock is slow;
For I have a train to catch.
And must quicily raise the latch.
Ere I dart into the night,
Tell me, is your timepiece right ?
Hark 1 1 hear the bull-dog's bark,
And the night is cold and dark.
Maid of Texas I must git,
Yet, before I rise and nit,
Tell me, maiden, tell me true,
What number is your papa's shoe ?
Siftings
. A MODERN RESURRECTION.
A Miracle that Took Plar in our Midst Un
known to Ike Public Tlie Details in Full.
One of the most remarkable occurrences
ever given to the public, which took place
here in our mdst, has just come to' our
knowledge and will undoubtedly awaken as
raach surprise and attract as great attention
as it has already in newspaper circles. The
facts are. briefly, as follows: Mr. William
A. Crombie, a young man formerly residing
at Birmingham, a suburb of Detroit, and
now living at SW7 Michigan avenue, in this
city, can truthfully say that he has looked
into the future world and yet returned to
this. A representative of this paper has in
terviewed him upon this important subject
and his experiences are given to the public
tor the first time. He said:
" I had been having most peculiar sensa
tions for a long while. My head felt dull and
heavy; my eyesight did not seem so clear as
formerly; my appetite was uncertain and I
was nnaccountabiy tired. It was an effort
to arise in the morning and yet I could not
sleep at night. My mouth tasted badly, I
had a faint all-gone sensation in the pit of
my stomach that food did not satisfy, while
my bands and feet felt cold and clammy. I
was nervous and irritable, and lost all en
thusiasm. At times my head would seem to
whirl and my heart Dalnitated terribly. I
, had no energy, no ambition, and I seemed
mainerenc oi tne present and thoughtless lor
the future- I tried to shake the feeling off
and persuade myself it was simply a col I or
a little malaria. But it would not go. I was
determined not to give up, and so time passed
along and all the while 1 was getting worse.
It was about this time that I noticed I had be
gun to bloat fearfully. My limbs were swol
len so that by pressing my fingers upon them
deep depressions would be made. My face
also began to enlarge, and continued to until
I could scarcely see out of my eyes. One of
my friends, describing my appearance at
that time, said: 'It is an animated some
thing, but I should like to know what In
this condition I passed several weeks of the
greatest agony.
Finally, one Saturday night, the misery
culminated. Nature could endure no more.
I became irrational and apparently insensible.
Cold sweat gathered on my forehead; mv
eyes became glazed and my throat rattled.
I seemed to bi in another sphere and with
other surroundings. I knew nothing of
wnas occurred a re una me. aitnougn
I have since learned it was considered as
death by those who stood by. It was to me
a quiet state, and yet one of great agony. I
was helpless, hopeless and pain was my only
companion. I remember trying to see what
was beyond me, but the mist before my eyes
was too great. I tried to reason, but I had
lost all power. I felt that it was death, and
realized how terrible it was. At last the
strain upon my mind gave way and all was
a blank. How long this continued I do not
know, but at last 1 realized the presence of
friends and recognized my mother. I then
thought It was earth, but was not certain. I
gradually regained consciousness, how
ever.and the pain les ened. I found that my
friends had, during my unconsciousness, been
giving me a, preparation I had never taken
Before, and the next day, under the influence
of this treatment, tha bloating began to dis
appear and from that time on I steadily im
proved, until to-day I am as well as ever be
fore in my life, have no traces of the terrible
acute Bnght's disease, which so nearly killed
me, and all through the wonderful lnstru
mentality of Warner's Safe Cure, the rem
edy that brought me to life after I was virtu
ally in another world."
''You have had au unusual experience, Mr.
Crombie," said the writer, who had been
breathlessly listening to the recital.
Yes, I think I have," was the reply,
" and it has been a valuable lesson to me. I
am certain, though, there are thousands of
men and women at this very moment who
have the same ailment which came so near
killing me, and they do not know it. I be
lieve kidney disease is the most deceptive
trouble in the world. It comes like a thief in
the night. It has no certain symptoms, but
seems to attack each one differently. It is
quiet, treacherous, and all the more danger
ous. It is killina: more people, to-day, than
any other one complaint. If I had the power
I would warn the entire world against it and
urge them to remove it from the system be
fore it is too late."
One of the members of the firm of White
head & Mitchell, proprietors of the Birming
ham Eccentric, paid a fraternal visit to this
office yesterday, and in the course of conver
sation, Mr. Crombie's name was mentioned.
"I knew about his sickness," said the editor,
"and his remarkable recovery. I had his
obituary all in type and announced in the Ec
centric that he could not live untd its nex .
issue. It was certainly a most wonderful
case."
Rev. A. B, Bartlett, formerly pastor of the
M. E. Church, at Birmingham, and now of
Schoolcraft, Mich, in responsa to a telegram,
replied:
'Mr. W. A. Crombie was a member of my
family at the time of his sickness. The pray
ers of the church were requested for nun on
two different occasions. I was with him on
the day he was reported by his physiciaas as
dying, and consider his recovery almost a
miracle."
Not one person in a million ever comes so
near death as did Mr. Crombie and then re
cover,, but the men and women wno are
driftine toward the same end, are legion. To
note the slightest symptoms, to realize their
significance and to meet them in time by the
remedy which has been shown to be most
efficient, is a duty from which there can be no
escape. They are fortunate who do this ; they
btbou sure rouu to aeatn wno negiet it,
Detroit Free Press.
Canadian telegraph tolls are the cheapest
in the world.
"I was most dead with heart difficulty, cai
now do a good day's work, and sincerely re
commend Dr. Graves' Heart Regulator as the
remedy. George Gladding, Hartsgrove, O."
$1 per bottla at your drug store.
The losses of wheat by the floods is esti
mated at 15,000,000 bushels.
Dr.Graves'Heart Regulator cures all forms
of Heart Disease, nervousness, sleeplessness.
Chicago will start a laundry to give
alms-begging women work.
Mensmas's Peptojozid beef tonio, the only
preparation of beef containing its entire nutrtr
nous properties. It contains blooa-maiting,
force generating and life-sustaining properties;
invaluable for indigestion, dyspepsia, nervous
prostration, and all forms of general debilitx;
also, in all enfeebled conditions, whether tie
result of exhaustion, nervous prostration, over
work or acute disease, particularly if resulting
from pulmonary complaints. Uaswell, Hazard at
Co., Proprietors, New lorn, soidpy druggists.
Mother Swan's Worm flrrun.
InfalUole, tasteless, harmloss,cathartic; for
feverishness, restlessness, worms, constipa
tion. ZOC.
The secret of the large and constant sales of
Mrs. rmkram's Vesetable Compound proba
bly lies in the fact that whereas there are
be it more or less, the VegetableCompound
is so completely superior to all other prepara
tions specially recommended for the needs of
women that it has practically no rivals.
A Bmuliful Head of Hair,
long, silken in texture, rich chestnut brown,
reaching to the ground; such are the effects of
the justly celebrated and widely known Car
boline, the prince of all Hair Restorers.
Is 1930 the English, speaking populatio
of the globe will be 1,000,000,000,
After Three Days.
Mr. Chaklj-s vV. MuRkiu, "agle" office,
Pittstield, Mass., writes, May2 , 183: 'Foi
several months my wife's mother (Mrs. Amy
Boyce) hai been m a very precarious condi.
tion with dropsy or Brieht's disease of the
kidneys, and having used all methods and
measures for her restoration in the line of
treatment by our leading physicians, and
having failed to benefit her, her family at
sp aired of seeing her relieve.i, and gave her
up to die. Happening to run across the tes
timony of a Mrs. Dawley.who had been cured
of Kimilar sickness by usins Hunt's Remedy,
we at once procured a bottle of it, and com
menced giving it as directed. After using it
three days she was so far improved that she
could get from her bed to her chair without
assistance (a circumstance that had not hap
pened for months). . Previous to taking it
she was trouble! more or less with short
breath, requiring a continuous fanning to
keep her alive. This gradually improved as
we continued the use of Hunt's Remedy, and
onthe fourth bottle she was able to set up all
day. She-was bloated terribly in both limbs
and body upward to the lungs. The tenth
day the bloating left her bowels and now she
is not swollen above the knees. Her kidneys
were very bad at the time, discharges being
of a bloody character and emitting a sicken
ing odor, lean say that the change in her
case has been wonderful, and Hunt's Remedy
has worked a miracle in her."
A Core of Pneumonia.
Mr. D. H. Barnaby, of Owego, N. T., says
that his daughter was taken with a violent
cold which terminated with pneumonia, and
all the best physicians gave the case up and
aid she could live but a few hours at most
She was In this condition when a friend re
commended Dr. Wm. Hall's Balsam for the
Lungs, and advised her to try it. She ac
cepted it as a last resort, and was surprised
to find that it produced a marked change foi
the better, and by persevering a permanent
cure was effected.
Color Your Butter.
Farmers that try to sell white butter are
all of the opinion that dairying does not pay.
If they would use Wells, Richardson & Co'i
Improved Butter Co'or, and market theli
butter in perfect condition, they would still
ret rood Drices. but it will not nsr to make
any but the best in color and quality. Thii
. color is used by all the leading creameries and
dairymen, and is sold by druggists and mer-
c nants.
Wheal Doctors D'emg-ree
it wfll be time enough to doubt the reality of
Kidney-Wort. Doctors all agree that it is a
most valuable medicine in all disorders of the
Liver, Kidneys and Bowels, and frequently
prescribe it. Dr. P. C. Ballou, of Monkton,
says: "The past year 1 have used it more
than ever, and with the best results. , It is
tie most successful remedy I have ever used.1
Such a recommendation speaks for itaelf.
Sold by all druggists. See advt.
From B. F. Liepsner. A.M.. Re J BantN. J.
I have been troubled with Catarrh so bally
for several years that It seriously affected my
voice. I tried Dr. 's remedy without the
slightest relief. One bottle of Ely's Cream
Balm did the wort. My voice is iuuy restore!
and my head feels better than for years.
In regard to nay's urcam uaim ror uacarra,
my answer is,l can recommend it as the bsst
remedy I ever used. Dr. J. S. Vauehan,Den- -tist,
Muskegon, Mich. (Sea adv t.)
Decorative art. ExDlicit directions for
every use are given with the Diamond Dyes.
For dyeing mosses, grasses, eggs, ivory, hair,
etc. 10c. Drueirtsts keep them. Wells.
Richardson & Co.. Burlington, Vt.
A c harming resolvent, matchless laxative.
infallible nerve conqueror, SamaritanNervine
Rev. Mr. Ureenneld. Knox vine, l enn.says :Sa-
maritanNervine cured my son of epileptic fits.
Decllae ef Man.
Weakness, Dyspepsia, Impotence. Sexual
Debility,cured by Well s Health Re newer. $L
Phoenix Pectoral cures cold and cough. 25.
' Camphor Milk cures aches and pains. 25. .
" Roofk ea Coua h.
Ask for "Rough on Coughs," for Coughs,
Colds, Sore Throat, Hoarseness. Troches 15o
Public speakers and singers use Piso'f Curt
for hoarseness and weak lungs.
Tb want oi a T
liable diurotie which,
while actios' a a
timulant of the kid
neys, neither excites
nor irritate them,
wti lone eince sup
plied by Hostettrl
StomachBitten. Tbn
tine medicine exerU
the requisite degre
of stimulation npoa
these organs, without
producing irritation,
and is, therefore, fal
better adapted foi
the purpose than na
medicated excitant!
often resorted to
Dyspepsia, (ever an
asrue. and kindred
fiieasetare all cured
by it. tor sale by al
Drurcists and Peal
ere generally.
Yum
STOMACH
N U lO
CATAR R H ELY'S CREAM BALU
when applied by the fla
ger into the nostrils
will be absorbed, effect
nally cleansing the head
of catarrhal rirus, caus
ing healthy secretions.
It allays inflammation,
protects the membrane
of the nasal passages
from additional colds.
completely heals, the
sores and restores taste
and smell. A few ap
plications rehere. A
thorough treatment trill
porttivelt cur. Agree,
able to use. Send for
circular.
USA.
HAY-FEVER
FBIOE SO CENTS. BY MAIL OR AT DRUGGISTS.
KL.Y BKOTHKKS, UWEUO, N. Y.
$12 CAPITAL AND A LIY1NQ
Br exhibiting with a Irlagie Laatera.
There is a chance for OTerr 000.
without much exertion. OurAIAGIO
LANTERN and 6 Ylewa for SIS.
Makes an 8-foot picture.
Jakobi te Hart, 16 Filth Atq.. K.Y.
Sk.Lri.. L.T. L. SMITH IP., Agt faUU , UU
VAIItlfi IICII Learn telegraphy here and we will
lUUnU ME H give you a situation. Circulars free.
VALENTIN K BKOH., JanesTille, Wie.
Pensions
to a I Her nens. Send stares
for C irculars. COL. L. BINQ
HAM, Att'y, Washington, D. O.
Camphor Milk is the best Liniment. Price 26 cents.
a
rents Wanted for the Best and Fastelt-awUint
J Tectorial bookt and Bibles. Prices reduced 33 1
cent. National Publishing Go.. Pbiladelphu
notorial tiookft ana rsiDies. races reancea as pel
hie. Fa.
P'bxzkix Pectoral will cure your cough. Price 26o.
PATENTS
Send stamp for our New Book oa
Patents. L. BINGHAM, Put
tint Lawyer. Wnshington, P. O.
S
HORT-HAND INSTITUTE. - Ithaca. N. Y.
situations procured ; btenogrftphers supplied, witn.
out charge. Standard Typo-Writers and supplies.
No " Caligrapbs." Address. W. Q. Wrcaorr. .
iipbsh sw iw ivwtmum "hn iwf' ,
Easy to use. A certain care. Not expensive. Three
months' treatment in one package. Good for Col
In the Head, Headache, Dizziness, Hay Fever, Ac
tin j cent
JJt all Druggist, or by mail.
. T. HAZsXTINE, Warren, Pa.
daaw, ym. onr mi ' "'fcitri FnCTl
j! mm tin. T!T'm - V rj Vff