Southwest Oregon recorder., December 30, 1884, Image 2

NOT LONG AGO.
Kot long ago she passed me by,
A little girl, demure and shy,
With rumpled hair and dancing eyes,
Whose glances strayed like butterflies.
But "very, very plain," quoth L
Again we met How time will fly I
I can't describe her though I try;
It seemed she'd stepped from paradise
Not long ago.
And now I cease to magnify
Her sovereign grace, or glorify
Her perfect taste. Tis hardly wise
For me to try to criticise
Her now. I married her that's why
Not long ago.
-Sydney Herbert rierson.in the Century.
'A Roving Young" Couple
in the merry month of May, in the
year of grace 1881, I was stopping at the
Fonda de Las Cuatros Naciones, the prin
cipal hotel in Barcelona, the Chicago of
Spain. I had crossed the Pyrenees from
Perpignan to Gerona in a bone-setting,
spine-aching diligence, and the transla
tion to the steam-cars at Gerona was as
grateful as it was luxurious.
The hotel is situated upon the Rampla,
a particularly wide street, extending for
about a mile and a half from the general
post-office to the t'deless harbor in the
Mediterranean. In the center of the
Rambla is an alamenda, or tree-shaded
Eromenade, utilized every morning as a
ower market, every evening by a mili
tary band, and at all waking hours, save
during the summer siesta, thronged with
pedestrians of both sexes, when the lat
est Parisian fashions symphonize with the
intensely picturesque costumes of the
Catalan peasantry.
Having secured a room "giving" upon
the Rambla, and on the first floor, for
which, by-the-by, I paid thirteen pesetas
a day a peseta being about twenty-five
cents, I descended to the gloomy com
medor, or dining-room, for a meal known
as "almuerzo," in fact, an early-dinner-breakfast.
"With the exception of the omelette,
which was perfect, my first meal in sunny
Spain proved a dismal disappointment.
It consisted of the usual nauseating and
pretentious repast which one meets with
all over the continent of Europe; the
ghostly soup, the dull-flavored and watery
fcsh, the too-too peppered entree of boiled
beef, from which the soup has already
extracted tyrannic tribute, and the roast
mutton, about as tough as the hide of
Sancho Panza's illustrious donkey Dap
ple. Opposite to me were two vacant chairs,
both tilted against the table to denote
that they were engaged. It was during
the tussle with the leathery mutton that
these chairs became occupied.
"The other leg of that old sheep,
Maude, I do declare 1" were the first
words I heard.
The voice came from a lad of, say four
teen. A yellow-haired, pink-cheeked,
blue-eyed, pearly-toothed boy, attired in
a gray flannel 6hirt with a rolling collar
and a home-spun tunic, known as a Nor
folk jacket, all pleated, and a perfect
labyrinth of pockets.
Beside this handsome and happy-looking
lad sat a little maid, so exact a coun
terpart that the most near-sighted indi
vidual would make affidavit as to her be
ing his sister without the aid of glasses.
She, too, was in gray flannel, and her age
might have been eleven years.
The young gentleman was perfectly at
his ease, and, for the matter of that, so
was the young lady. He called the
waiter and proceeded to institute a search
ing investigation in school-boy French,
into the nature of the. dishes on the bill
of fare.
"I shall order an omelette, Maude," he
observed, in English. "A big one; and
we'll pitch into that with bread. There's
nothing else worth eating."
I must confess that I became interested
in the movements of these youthful trav
elers, especially when my neighbor, a
drummer from a Manchester cotton fac
tory, briefly informed me that they were
traveling alone.
"They're regular swells," said the
drummer, ' "and act as independent as
old travelers. To hear the boy talk,
you'd think he was one of us I travel
for Brown and Williams, of Staley bridge
or a foreign office messenger. lie knows
Bradshaw off by 'art. Really," added
the drummer, "if it ain't as funny as
Box and Cox."
Seeing that I was regarding his move
ments with curiosity, the young gentle
man bowed most courteously, and asked
if I was not a recent arrival. Having in
formed him that I had struck Spain from
France, via the Pyrenees,
"Just what we did!" he said. "We
left Perpignan at ten in the morning.
We hired a carriage, so as to be able to
take in the scenery at our ease. We had
a tip-top luncheon. A generous old
chap that keeps the Tete Noir Hotel
made up for us a present. Did you put
up at the Tete Noir? Oh, here comes
our omelette 1 Arnt I hungry? My sis
ter and I have been to the top of Men
Juich this morning. Don't you do it
sir. It isn't worth the- trouble. Now',
Maude." and he helped his little sister to
about a pound weight of the savory
omelette, peppering it and salting it fcJr
her with a careful and loving attentio
that completely won my heart.
I turned to my drummer for further in
formation concerning this interesting
pair, but the worthy Briton had left the
table, so I contenfed myself with the
idea of lying in ambush for the youthful
travelers behind the fragrant orange
trees that lined the hall.
How I missed the intelligent and sym
pathetic hotel clerk of my own dear land,
who, in less than two minutes, would
have thoroughly posted me with legard
to these young people ! Here, the clerk
was a very sallow personage. withEdgar-of-Ravenswood
locks and a shirt-collar
ojjen to the middle of his chest.
In about half an hour the lad and his
sister appeared, having, children-like,
remained with the dessert to the very
last moment. The little maid was lean
ing on her brother, and both came skip
ping down the corridor merrily humming
a bright little song. The girl seemed
somewhat abashed when I stepped from
out my ambush, and quitting her brother's
arm, dashed the stone stairs three at
a time.
"I hope I have not scared your sister,"
I-said.
"Oh, dear, no, thanks!" he replied.
"She's gone to put on her hat. We are
going to do a bit of the old city. Those
outlandish old streets are just delightful,
you know."
"I would recommend you to be careful
of where you go, for "
"Thanks, sir!" he burst in. "We're
not a bit afraid. We are not worth rob
bing. I have no money but a few coins
over my circular note, and this old
watch," tugging at a silver turnip at
tached to a steel chain, "would'nt fetch
a sovereign. Anyhow," he added,
"Maude and I have been over France,
Italy, Switzerland, Scotland and Ireland
without anything happening, and"
"Alone!"
"Just as you see us, sir! It's very odd
and funny how much attention we at
tract. I suppose that's all right. Iseem
to have to account to everybody I meet.
Here is my story :
"My father is the best old pater that
ever lived, but he has his own notions
about everything, and the more he is op
posed, the more set he is. His pet idea
is education, and he believes that a boy
or girl learns more in a trip to a foreign
country than a million books could teach
'em. So he sends Maude jnd me oil
every summer to do some foreign coun
try. He gives us lots of monej, and all
he asks is that we keep alarmingly .mi
nute diaries, which we must post to him
every Saturday."
"But does he consider it wise for you
to travel without"
"That's part of his system," burst in
the lad, "he is very determined on the
subject of self-reliance. He picked it up
while he was traveling in the United
States- Here's what he says:
" I send you out alone to make a man
of you. I send your sister with you to
make yon doubly a mau, as you will have
to protect her. He' ''
At this moment a sweet-child voice
exclaimed, " Now, Geoffry, I'm ready."
There stood the little maid, guide
book in hand, a coquettish little round
felt gray hat perched far down on her
eyebrows, to protect her from the sun
and glare.
"I've just been telling this gentleman
our story, Maude Au revoir, sir," and
the children for what else were they?
swept out into the glowing summer
day shine."
Fain would I have accompanied them,
but, under the very peculiar circum
stances of the case, this was simply im
possible. I resolved, however, upon
following the pair, but in such a manner
as "to preclude the idea of their being
shadowed, and to this end hoisted my
white umbrella, and sallied forth.
As I delayed on the hotel step, to al
low the youngsters to get a lit tie ahead, a
man brushed hastily past me. 1 had no
ticed him in the hall on my arrival. He
was thickset and of powerful build a
man to fell one of the bulls whose por
traits stared at me from the walls of the
open house opposite, luckless brutes des
tined for the sword of the matador on the
following Sunday, in the Plaza de Toros.
The person was attired in a suit of
light tweed, and wore greenish spec
tacles. Casting a hasty glance up and
down the Rambla, his spectacled -eyes
rested on the retreating figure of the boy
and girl. Then he crossed the street
and regulated his pace to theirs.
These manoevres disquieted me. It
was pretty evident that this man was
dogging the children. For what pur
pose? "I'll dog you, my gentleman," I mut
tered, as 1 stepped into the blazing sun
light. The old portion of the city of Barce
lona is so old that it calmly retains its
narrow streets, its bizarre houses with
their quaint carvings, its shrines, its
churches, and its foul smells, feeling
perfectly secure, and in nowise dismayed
at the so-called "progress of the nine
teenth century." ,
Many of the streets retain the names
given them when the Moors were rulers
in the gilded halls of the Alhambra
Goldsmith street, Bread Btreet, Fish
street and so on. All the stores in one
very narrow alley are exclusively de
voted to the sale of images of the Ma
donna of Monserrat, who is held in high
veneration by the Catalans, the celebrat
ed shrine being but one short day's
journey from Bacelona.
It was into this narrow alley that I
followed the youthful travelers, and their
very suspicious shadow, the bull-necked
man in the light tweed suit; for he kept
them steadily in view, and had closed
up when the streets became narrow and
tortuous.
For three mortal hours did this ad
venturous young couple perambulate the
most foul-smelling streets and alleys of
the old town, stopping at every toy-shop,
to gaze in at the tempting wares, for toys
in Barcelono are about the same as toys
in London, Paris or New York ; staring
into jewelers' stores, and riveted in front
of a cloak-making establishment.
They entered two candy-shops, and
came forth with heightened color and
distended cheeks.
While they were in these stores, the
burly man remained outside, apparently
gazing at the- contents of the window,
but actually engaged in watching their
movements. x
Wasn't I relieved when my charges,
for I was a self-elected guardian, emerged
once more into the Rambla, and turned
into the hotel?
I gladly repaired to my own room, or
dered a granazao, a delicious orangeade,
and had scarcely taken the first sip when
a knock came to my door.
"Come in!"
The door opened, and in stepped the
burly-looking man in the tweed suit.
"I beg pardon for intruding," he said,
"but I want to say a word to you about
these here youngsters that you was a-fol-lerin'
all the arternoon."
"Indeed!" I exclaimed, eyeing him
very closely, and in a tone that was the
very reverse of friendly.
"Yes, sir."
"And what explanation have you to
give, sir, for following these children.
Come, sir," I sternly cried.
"I am paid for it."
"Paid for it?"
"Yes, sir; I'm Inspector Lillie, late of
the London detective force. Their euv
nor, Sir Jenkins Claythorpe (for obvious
reasons I suppress the real name), is a
eccentric man as wishes his children to see
the world on their own 'ook, sir, and let's
'em think as 'ow they're a doing of it
alone, but he pays me and another feller
to keep 'em in sight never to let 'em
get their little 'eads into trouble, sir, and
they comes 'ome to Claythorpe 'all twice
as big as when they started out, sir. Me
and my mate uses all sorts of disguises,
for if master or miss found us out we'd
lose the best job either of us. ever
dropped on. So, seeing as you was a
respectable gent, as was interested in the
children we 'ad another gent as done
the same thing in Wenice, sir I thought
it best to tell you."
Six weeks later I came across Master
and Mis3 Claythorpe at the railway sta
tion at San Sebastian.
"We've done Spain," exclaimed the
lad, who was now bronzed the color of
the Farnese Hercules; "you may put us
in your book if you're writing one.
Maude's asleep," he added, jerking his
head back into the compartment, "but
she's as right as ninepence. We'll do
the States next year and we'll look you
up. I've got your card."
In the next compartment sat a vener
able man of snowy beard, who winked
at me as the train moved away. The
patriarch was Inspector Lillie.
Of course. I am well aware that it
would not do to allow any boy of four
teen, and girl of eleven to travel alone
and do as they please, even with an In
spector Lillie io see that they did not.
come to harm; but these children had i
evidently been exceptionally educated '
by their eccentric father, and certainly j
in their cases, it was an exceptional i
means that was accomplishing satisfaa
tory results. Youth's Companion.
The World of a Thousand Years Agro.
A thousand years ago, and for a long
time after, the world was not at all the
geologized, botanized, zoologized, and
mapped-out earthly ball it is now.
There it lay. according to the imagina
tion of the men and women of those
days (or rather, according to the ideas of
the monks; for the men, and far less the
women, of those distant times troubled
themselves very little about matters of
this kind, but left it to the churchmen to
meddle with such dangerous book-learning)
a flat plain, full of things mysterious
and unknown; and out of the "four cor
ners, through the gaps of four mountain
ranges, which were placed there to
keep it steady, blew the four
winds of heaven! Of course,
the center of it all was the little
town, and county, parish, manor, baro
ny or kingdom where they dwelt; but
outside of that was no man's laud. It
was looked upon by our remote fore
fathers in much the same light as it is
by the Chinese, who, while making maps
of the flowery land on a scale so large as
to show the ground plan of every town
and village, mark all the countries out
side of that magic boundary of theirs, as
inhabited by barbarians." "It was the
land of the infidel," the people said, as
they piously crossed themselves at the
thought. All was mysterious to the
travelers of that age. The unknown
lands were full of dragons and giants,
rocs, ores, witchwhales, griffins,
chimaoras, enchanters, Paynims, Sara
cens, emirs, and sultans, kaisers of
Constantinople, of Ind and Cathay and
Cipango. What a choice was there
then for a young traveler. a
good knight, and a proper man w ithal !
If he had a mind he could steer his way
to Lapland, where (as all the world
knew) dwarfs forged chain-armor of
magic links, and where witch-whales and
ice-mountains roamed about the chilly
sea; or go south and join the Varangiad
guard in Constantinople, or beard the
Turk in Palestine ; or into Egypt and
win the prince's daughter by killing a
great dragon, as did St. George ; or down
to Cordova, where there were dire ma
gicians ; or into the forests of Brittany,
where beauteous fairies sported kindly
immortals who loved to be wedded to
mortality who emptied his water-jars
at night and filled them with good
Rhine wine ere dawn of day. He might
even marry one, as did Sir Thomas, and
pass a few years in Fairyland. Countries
of the World.
Misshapen Feet
A distinguished sculptor declares that
there is not one foot in ten thousand
among the fashionable people of the
present day fit for an artist to copy or
model. While beauty of face and deli
cacy of extremities have increased in the
course of civilization, the shapeliness of
the human foot ha9 decreased. This de
formity is all the result of a vicious
fashion of foot covering which cramp
and distort the member out of its natural
proportions.
There are over 11,000,000 people in
the United States, men, women and chil
dren, who are dependent upon labor at
mines and manufactories.
BUMOROUS SKETCHES
Farmer Nick's Scarecrow.
Out in the corn field, grouped together,
A flock of crows discussed the weather.
Observing them, thrifty farmer Nick
Declared that the crows were " gettin' too
thick."
"I must have a scarecrow that is true;
Now, would not that old umbrella do?"
So into the hous3 the farmer went,
And away to the field the umbrella sent
One rainy day the farmer went out ' .
To view the corn fields lying about;
He neared the umbrella; looked inside;
And what he saw, made him laugh till he
cried!
For in there, out of the rainy weather,
A dozen crows were huddled together 1
So the farmer, laughing as farmers should,
Bald: " I fear my scarecrow did little good."
Nora J2. Crosby, in St Nicholas.
An Importanltem.
Bride "How easily it is to be eco
nomical. I Saved sixty-five cents last
week by making bread myself instead
of buying it of the baker."
Young husband "Indeed !"
"Yes. I counted all the little items
carefully."
"Queer, how figures differ. I thought
we came out three dollars behind."
"Dear me, I must have left something
out. What was it?"
4 'The d yspepsia medicine. "Philadel
phia Call.
A Slow Young1 .Tlan.
"I am afraid that young Featherly,
who calis on you so often, is rather a
fast young man," said a father to his
daughter.
"Oh, no, he isn't father," replied the
little brother who was present.
"What do you know about Mr. Feath
erly?" demanded the old man.
"I only know," he replied, "that I
heard him ask sister for a kiss last night,
and she told hira he could have one if
he would be quick about it. But it was
the slowest kiss I ever saw."
A Fallen Monarch.
Commodore Stewart used to narrate an
instance which occurred on board the
frigate Constitution when under his com
mand in the Mediterranean. It was be
fore the deposition of any of the Bourbon
sovereigns, and a largo party of them
had congregated at Naples to attend a
royal marriage there. Commodore Stew
art invited them on board the Constitu
tion, and they made a brilliant display,
attended by their suites in richly em
broidered court dresses and uniforms.
While they were being shown over the
frigate, a boatswain came up to the com
modore, -and touching his hat said :
"Please, sir, one of them 'ere kings
has tumbled down the main hatchway.
It turned out that the king was a su
bordinate court official, but his embroid
ered coat had elevated him in Jack's eye
to regal rank, and he felt it his duty to
announce his mishap.
The Fatted Calf.
The danger of going too much into
detail in talking about subjects with
which one is not very familiar, is exem
plified in the story af an English town
bred curate, who had consented to do
duty on Sunday for his friend, the rector
of a country parish in the Midlands.
The subject of the morning sermon
was the parable of the "prodigal son ; and
in the hope of impressing upon his
hearers the joy which the patriarch felt
on the return of his son, as instanced by
his ordering the fatted calf to be killed,
the voung curate felt a pardonable pride
in dwelling upon a subject which could
not fail to be comprehensible to the dull
est cowboy in the congregation.
"Remember," he said, "this was no
ordinary calf which was to be killed; it
was no common calf or beast suffering
from murrain, half-starved calf slowly
awaiting death. No; it was not merely
a fatted calf, but" (becoming more im
pressive) " it was the fatted calf which
had been prized and loved by the family
for many years."
A sea of wide eyes and gaping mouths
arrested for a moment the eloquence of
the fledgling parson, and in the next
moment there was such a chuckling and
grins and fluttering of old heads below
as had not been witnessed, even in the
memory of the sexton, for more than
"many years."
They Erove Him In.
The owner of a place on Sibley street
appeared in front of the house yesterday
morning with a step-ladder and a saw
and began the work of trimming up his
shade trees. While he was at the first
limb a pedestrian halted an queried:
"Going to trim your trees, eh?"
' "Yes."
"Um. I see. First-rate time to trim
trees. Um. Exactly."
He hadn't got two blocks away before
number two came along and called out."
"Going to trim your trees, eh?"
"Yes."
"Ah! I see. Ought to have waited a
month later."
The limb was off when number three
halted, stood for a minute with his hands
in his pocket and then asked :
"Going to trim your trees, eh?"
"Yes.'?
. ' 'Ought to have done that last month. "
No. 4 said that April was the proper
month. No. 5 wouldn't trim a tree ex
cept in May. No. 6 thought November
the best time of year, and so it went un
til every month in the year had been
named and there were five or . six indi
viduals to spare. Before the first tree
was finished the seventeenth pedestrian
halted, thrtw away the stub of his cigar
and. loudly demanded :
"Going to trim your trees, eh?"
The man hung his saw on a limb,' got
down off the ladder, and walked close up
to the enquirer and said :
"Supposing I ami What are you go
ing to do about it?"
"Oh, nothing," answered the other as
he dogged around a pile of brick; "I was
simply going to ask you if you used tar
or porous plaster to cover the scars?"
The citizen got his saw and ladder
and disappeared in the house, and the
remainder of the work will be done at
night. Detroit Free Press.
The Chinese Army.
The Chinese army, which looks sufft
ciently formidable on paper, is divided
into three classes, namely, (1) the Ban
nermen. (2) the troops of the Green
Standard, (3) the Volunteers. or"Braves."
The Bannermen are the descendants of
the Mantchoo Tartars who conquered the
country in the seventeenth century, and
number about- 500,000, "But they do
not form one effective army corps ; they
are only a class of men who still draw
profit from the conquest of China achiev
ed by their ancestors. Indeed, in order
that certain privileges wh'ch they enjoy
may always remain in the hands of the
original grantees, they are 'not allowed to
marry Chinese women unless there be a
deficiency of girls belonging to the regu
lar Banner families. Such a case, it may
be added, is of extremely rare occur
rence. During the period immediately
following their settlement on Chinese
soil it was a positive necessity for the
Tartars to keep themselves constituted as
an armed force if they wished to main
tain their ascendency; but, nowadays,
when that ascendency is less and less
disputed, the 'Banners' preserve little
more than the outward show of military
organization." Only a small part of this
remarkable force is paid, privates receiv
ing between a pound and ten shillings a
month, with a ration of rice. Some offi
cers are appointed for life, others hold
hereditary raak.
The troops of the Green Standard are
6aid to number 030,000 men. Wretch
edly paid, these soldiers have nearly all
of them other callings beside the military
one, and they are careful to wear their
uniforms as seldom" as possible. Some
times they act as policemen, and they are
the only postmen in the empire. In Chi
na the state does not undertake to for
ward the correspondence of private per
sons; but the dispatches of mandarins to
the central government, etc., travel (if
urgent) at the rate of 150 miles in twenty-four
hours. In emergencies, however,
it is neither on the Bannermen nor on
the postal police that the authorities at
Pekin rely, but on "Braves" or volun
teers enlisted lor the occasion.
The surest way to obtain military pro
motion is to know the standard military
author by heart. The latest in date
would appear to be a treatise of the year
1728. It is divided into ten chapters, or
"precepts," and contains the whole duty
of u private. Firstly", the said private
should love and respet his parents: sec
ondly, he should honor and respect his
elders; thirdly, he should be on good
terms with everybody; fourthly, he,
should instruct his children and his
younger brothers; fifthly, he should dil
ligently till the earth; sixthly, he should
perfect himself in archery, on horseback
as well as on foot; seventhly, he must be
economical; eighrhly, abstain from wine
and intoxicating drinks; ninthly, avoid
gaming ; tenthly, keep out of quarrels.
Officers must know their Sun-tse, an
extraordinary writer on tactics, who was
probably contemporary with the author
of the Iliad. Sun-tse understood war as
did Philip of Macedon, who boasted
that he had taken more towns by gold
than by steel. With him the essence
of the military art is corruption and in
trigue. '"Labor unceasingly," he says,
"to embarrass your enemy. . You can do
so in many ways, but here is the best.
Neglect no opportunity of debauching
the best men on his side ; omit nothing
neither offers, nor gifts, nor caresses.
Deceive, if you can; entangle the most
honorable of his followers in disgraceful
affairs, and then be careful to show them
up. Be in continual correspondence with
any vicious man in the enemy's camp,
and bring him into communication with,
other vicious men; sow discord among
their chiefs; set subalterns against their
superiors." It is a curious farrago of
nonsense and 6hrewd remarks, some
maxims being especially good in respect
to the conduct of civil wur. Meanwhile,
it is perfectly clear that the first and last
lesson inculcated on a Chinese general is
to lie. If he can cheat a hostile general
in a negotiation, he will win almost as
much credit with the Pekin government
as if he defeated him in the field.
Died of Laughter.
Chafcas,ths sooth-sayer, died of laugh
ter at the thought of his having outlived
the time predicted for his death. A fel
low in rags had told him that he would
never drink the wine of the grapes grow
ing ia his vineyard; and added: "If
these words do not come true, you may
claim me for your slave." When the
wine was made, Chalcas held a feast, and
sent for the fellow to see how his predic
tions had failed. When he appeared the
sooth-sayer laughed so immoderately at
the would-be prophet that it killed him.
Crassus died from laughter on seeing an
ass eat thistles. Margutte, the giant, in
the Morgante Maggiore, died of laughter
on seeing a monkey pulling on his boots.
Zeuxis, the Grecian painter, died at sight
of a hag he had just depicted. . A pecu
liar death was that of Placut, wha
dropped dead in the act of paying a bill.
There are many men to-day, however,
who would probably die of surprise, if
they found themselves doing the same
thing. Troy Times.
In 1880 there were of colored persons
in the United States 4,001,207 ten years
old and upward, of whom 3,220.878, or
seventy persons of every hundred, could
not write. Now there are 3,600,000
colored persons in the United States
over ten years of age who caa not
write.
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