Image provided by: Harney County Library; Burns, OR
About Harney valley items. (Burns, Grant County, Or.) 188?-19?? | View Entire Issue (April 4, 1903)
- l ri ROAï kPRIL4 10B. SUCKER ALWAYS WITH US, stock exchange to green goods, in order to get the better of Homebody else and get money without work ing for it or giving anv value in exchange. Why should virtuous and highminded lawmakers bother their heads about such a wretch, anyway" Nature will take c.ire of him, if he is left to the operation of her wholesome law.—Minneapolis Tribune. THOUGHT GUN BEWITCHED. Mb, lhe 01,1 >rtru Threw II Vnar and Would Vol Vouch II Au«in. \ story 1« told of Uncle Washington Harris, one of "Marne Clay's niggers afore <le war.” who remained on the plantation after he wiu> »el free, lie wus considered a power among the negroes, being somewhat of a local preacher, s.n » the Xew York Tribune, but he said: “I'sr jiat a exhortioner 'mong de congregation." ttnee when Uncle "Wash" waa "ex- hortioning 'mong de congregation,” the Ku Klux eame after him. ami. ns the old innn hurriedlv beat an exit through a window, one of the Ku Klux got the tail of his Prince Albert coat, that "Marte Clay" bail given him. and which the old darkey was very proud of. From that time Uncle "Wash" al ways carried an old long barreled shotgun. The neighlairs were in the habit of meeting at night at "Hob" Clu v'» coun try store to tell yarns ami talk about the crops. Uncle “Wash” and sev eral other old colored nu n. were al ways present, silting on nail kegs a re-pectable distance behind "de white folks to hear de varus." On these oc casions Uncle "Wash" always left his gun in the rear of the store. One night “Buck" Allen, who never was tired of playing jokes on the old man. got his gun, and. after drawing the shot from it. loaded it with pow der and phosphorous wood ns wad ding. then another load of powder and noire phosphorous wood. repeating this till there were several loads of powder ami wood in the gun. ramming down the last charge of powder with an extra long piece of wood. "Buck" dropped a coal on it and went back to his seat. If phosphorous wood is lighted, the fire will eat very -lowly through it. and net ns a fuse. Uncle "Wash" took np his gun and started home, and was several hundred yards from the store when the spark reached the fir«t charge of powder and exploded it. which greatlv perplexed the old man. but he attributed it to an accident. When the second explosion occurred he fell on his knee« and prayed, but when the third came hr threw the gun from him into the bushes and ran for dear life. As Uncle "Wash" burst in the front door to the consternation of his wife, and fell sprawling on the floor, hysterieallv praying, he heard the last charge explode. Uncle "Wash" never went back for his gun. and could never he convinced "speerets" were not in thnt “ole tur- kee gun." anil that it was not be witched. Why not let the sucker look out for himself? He must do it, any way, or come to grief. Law can- n t protect a greedy fool or clumsy knave, and these are the two va rieties of the sucker species. Law An exchange has been studying is always trying to shield the how to build up a town and make s tcker by removing temptation it prosperous, and has the follow from his path; but temptation is ing to say: Get interested in your protean. Abolish one form of it town and stand by it. If a rich by law and you get another by a man starts a project encourage linn;; lightning change. The sucker ts or a poor man help him. Don’t be the natural food of the sport. and afraid to stick your hand in your it is his destiny to be devoured. pocket. Ifyott have means, invest He flits .ike a butter-fly from in something that will give employ gaming-house to pool room, from ment to somebody. Do not kick policy to bucket shop; from one on every proposed amendment get-rieh-quick enterprise to an simply because it is not at your other, ami from these to the in own door. Do all you can to numerable company of profes beautify the town and your own sional. commercial and religious properly also. Be friendly to quacks who feed on human folly everybody and courteous to strang and greed like parasites on diseas ers, and never forget that you are ed bodies. a part of lhe town and that your Why not leave him to fulfill his own department does its share in natural destiny ? He was created giving the town its char. cter. Sell to be skinned, and the sooner it is and buy all you can at Lome. decently done the more completely Stand by all other enterprising will the purpose of nature be car citizens and be ready to do some of ried out. The only law that has the work your self, and don't the least bold on the sucker is *he grumble and spend your time in natural law of the survival of the prophesying failure. fittest. Better give this free play. When he is thoroughly skinned, I THE VINDICATION OE BARB he will disappear, and not breed ED WIRE. more suckers. The sports who get his money do not keep it long. Downward the course of luxuries The same law of nature punishes them for unthrift, and the money takes it away. Today the million finally circulates around to those aire runs over us with his automo- clever enough te keep as well as to bile;ina few years thejunkman will get it. 'lhe race is weeded of fools lie making his hetrogeneous col and knavestogether.like a wellkept lection in such a vehicle, with a garden, and lhe fittest have room string of bronze Japanese gongs to grow. Lawmakers are always trying to instead of the present assemblage save the sucker from the sports. of cow bells. An already realized example of The collapse of a whole brood of this may be found in lhe telephone;1 get ricb-quick enterprises, all along The lllaeLsmllu anil (lie King. if you and your neighbor have Some time ugo, while holding court the line from New York to St. ' Louis, has stirred this well mean a barbed-wire fence you may have in the royal palace, overlooking the Danube, Francis Joseph received n ing effort to new life. The history a telephone. Instruments are in Hungarian blacksmith, who de. ired to of the collapse proves how futile it stalled in the farmers’ houses and thank the king for the de< oration con is. There is law enough now, in connections made with the top ferred on him in recognition of bis hav ing invented an agricultural machine. every state, to make skin games I wire of the fence- The barbs seem During the audience the blacksmith in no way to interfere with the impossible, if law could do it. No drew from his pocket two photographs law can reach these games until , passage of the message, which if representing the king ami queen, and said, handing them to his maj sty: they have run their course and the , probably the only thing in the “May 1 ask your majesty, and also the suckers have been skinned, any world with the passage of which queen, for your signatures?" “And more than law can save the peren- I they do not interfere. Indeed the why?” demanded the king, smilingly. "Well, when I die the cross of merit nial new crop from poolrooms, young man who has tried to get a which your majesty has given n ■ will policy and bucket shops. You I summer girl through a barbed wire have to be returned anil my children at least have your majesties' por can’t protect the sucker whose fence will probaldy be disposed to will traits anil signatures in remembrance doubt if even a telephone message money is gone, and the sucker of this audience.” "The queen is ab with money still to lose doesn’t can pass without getting torn to sent from Hungary," said the king, I cannot give you my signature at want to be protected, because he shreds and coming out in Russian "and tlie present moment, for I have neither for example. The barbed wire thinks he is cleve> enough to get pen nor pencil within reucii.” "1 have fence is perhaps the most abused of brought a pencil with me.” said the the money of some one else. smith, handing it to the monarch. Tlie Why worry about the sucker any American institutions unless it is king thereupon attached his signature way? He is not a nice sort of the plumber. It is certainly grati to the photograph, and dismissed the person. He is fully as dishonest fying to learn that a humane tt-e smith witli a smile. The smith did not retire, however, but stood his ground. as the sports who sink him, only has at last been found for the barb “Is there anything else I can do for he is mistaken in thinking himself ed wire. Perhaps a way to utilize you?" asked Francis Joseph. "Yes, more clever. He goes into skin the plumber may yet be f< u m — your majesty. I am waiting for my pen cil.” The king had mechanically pock games, all along the line from the I sav as a storage battery. In this eted it. and he returned it with a hearty welcoming the utilization of the laugh.—San Francisco Argonaut. barbed-wire fence, however, we •* 1 thank Di*. Pierce hnbn Tricks the Giaours. cannot, in justice, overlook that Peas are proverbially alike, but not for the kind advice modest and truth loving individ more so than "nigger” law students. when each wears a draclmn hair, he gave when I wrote ual who lives somewhere in the And gold spectacles and a Stewart tartan Missouri river bottom. It will be necktie. Dze Manik I.al is as like Dad- to him.” remembered that lust summer he ublioy Jamshedji as any two men in •'I am thankful to the friend who fir«t recom- | w. tided your medicine,” w rites Mrs. Annie M. reported in all lhe newspapers th it iron masks. This fact is not lost on a wily Hindoo law student. This bright llrouk. of Smithfield. Fayette Co., Pa. "We ha e a twelve pound baby, three weeks old. I just befjrethe June rise he bait’d young mind lias, it is said, taken several t«-»U three bottles of Fn.’-orite Prescription ’ -re babv came, and the time was only one i the barbs on several miles of fence, scholarships at Lincoln's Inn under his hour «and a half. Have had five children, and before this always had a severe time lasting two some eight or nine thousand in own name. He. now. for a consiilera- tion, is willing to temporarily adopt c ’ ree days, and never was able to do any W-Hiv for about two months afterward. Now I number, and wtjen the water re the series of consonants which form the am doing all the work for four children. My friends sav I look better now than ever before. ceded, removed a large fish from name of any gentleman with a similar We told one of niv sisters to take ’ Favorite color scheme, and iq his improper per Prescription,' which she did. and when her every barb except three, which tiio son goes up for and successfully passes child was born lhe time of suffering was very short. She has better health now than since the hired man had neglected to the examinations of the council of the In r marriage, some vears ago. We cannot praise Dr. Pierce’s medicines enough. I thank properly,bait. The ingenious fisher- bar.—Phoenix. Dr. Pierce for the kind advice he gave when I wrote to him. Wheuever I sec other women man sold his ’catch for something The Wnx of the Frontier. suffering I tell then about your wonderful medicines.” like $1000 and discharged the The way of civilization in a new The lienefits resulting from a consulta lam! passes coniprehenaion. Its mot tion by letter with Dr. Pierce are testified careless agricultural helper, after to seems to be: ruin first; there is to by thousands of grateful women who docking him 90 cents for the lost time afterward to save. Civilization have been made new women by his med is a good deal like a wild, full-blood ical advice and fatherly counsel given fish.—Saturday Evening Post. absolutely without cost or fee. Sick and ailing women, especially those suffering from chronic diseases, are invited to consult Dr. Pierce, by letter, free. All corresjiondence is held as strictly private and sacredly confidential. Address Dr. R. V. Pierce, Buffalo, N. V. Dr. Pierce’s Favorite Prescription is the best medicine for the cure of woman ly ills. It establishes regularity, dries weakening drains, heals inflammation and ulceration and cures female weak- nc:is. It is the best preparative for maternity, giving the mother strength to give her child, and making the Baby’s advent practically painless. Dr. Pierce s Favorite Prescription con tains no alcohol and is entirely free from opium, cocaine anil all other narcotics. The Common Sense Medical Adviser, tor>S large pages, in p:q>er covers, is sent free on receipt of at one-cent stamps to niv expense of mailing only. Address Di. R V. Pierce, DafiJo, N. V. ESTRAY. Lost one two-year old cow with calf. Brand, on ribs 00, and 7 on one hip and 72 on the other. I will pay $5 reward for her recovery. Fred Mosier. Izee, 0 egon. ed boy. it must first sow wild oats, waste its patrimony, disgrace its an tecedents; then it is ready to begin the scr!-,us work of life. That has been tl.c history of tlie range coun try; swift ruin for 30 or 40 vear«. with n resulting wreck that it vv.il| require a century of hard work, per severance and self-control to save. Cent ury. THE ORIGIN OF GOLF. U amv U m « First by s hcolch HUvpbrrd vvllh Ilia Cmek and m Febbl*. Thr man or woinnn * h«» hint l»e<*oii)e ilitrrvatrd in golf must lived« know somvthing of ih origin owr in Scot tami In hi» b<i»k. “Thr Art <»f Golf.“ Sir \\ (ì Simpson trlU thr following pretty story as to huw the game tuoi its beginning: “A »hrphvrd Ircding hi» shrrp would often chance upon a round peb ble. and. liming his crook in his hand, w on Id strike it aw ay ; for it is in invìi- table that u uutn with u »tick in bia hand should aim a blow at iiny.luo»«* object king in Ids |»ath as that lie »hould breathe, (her piiatur«*» grven thia led to nothing; but < lice upon a time ii certain shcphertl. feeding his »heap on a links, perhaps that of St. Andrew*, rolled one of th» «v stone» into a rabbit scrape. “ ‘Mary,’* quoth hr. *1 could not do that if I tried,* a thought which netted him to thr attempt. Hut n man can not long persevere alone in any ardu ous undertaking, so Mr Shepherd hailed another, who was hard by. to wit nr.«» thr endeavor. ‘That ih easy.* said the friend, ami. trying, failed. They now aenrvhed thr grass for thr roundest stono», and hating drrprnrd thr rabbit scrape, to that thr Honra might no! jump out of it. they set thrmsrlvu* to practice putting. “Thr stronger but less skillful *hrp- hrrxl. finding himtrlf worsted at thr umusrmriit. protested tliHt il wn» a fairer test of skill to play for thr hole from a considerable distance. With this arranged, *he game ttas found to be much more varied and intere*ling The sheep having meanwhile *t raved, thr shepherds had to go after them. “This proving an racredingly irk some interrupt i< n. they hit upon thr Ingenious device of nailing a circular course of holes, which enabled them to play and herd at the same time. These holes being now many and far apart, it Iwcame nevrssari to mark their whereabouts, which was rasilj done by means of a tag of wool from a sheep attached to a stick, a primitive kind <»f Aug still used on many greens, almost in its original form. Since these early day» the essentials of thr game have altered but little.” Seven Ndllion boxes sold in past 12 months. This signature* What is CASTORIA Cantoria Is u hiirmloRN sulistltuto for Cnxtor Oil. Pare goric, Drops uml Nuotliliijr Syriipn. It Is Pleasant. It v'oiitnins neither Opium, Alorphluo nor other Nurcotio sulistmiee. Its ugo is Its Kiiuruntee. It ilestrojs Worms mul allays Feverishness. It cures Diarrlueu uml Wind Colic. It relieves Tcethlni' Troubles, euros Constipation mid Flatulency. It ussiniilutes tho Food, requintes tlie Stoninoli mul llowels, giving heulthy mul natural sleep. The Children's Panacea—The Mother's Friend. GENUINE CASTORIA ALWAYS The Kind You Haye Always Bought In Use For Over 30 Years. TI C CÍNTAUS CQgSZNT, «V MUARAt «VM<tV. N«W »OM «»TV. Srotimas'a l•rrrl■»• Maj. .lames It. Pond, of world-wide repute as a ¡ ¡lot of cclebritlv* of thr ronòrrt stuge ami thr “lyceutn.” tell» of a waiter, a Scotsman, of whom hr once inquired thr exact time to leave forateli thr morning boat plying be tween the river town where nr will visiting and thr next »topping place on hl* itinerary. “Werl. I canna* tell yr jift whit time ’twill be; but if ye’ll leave five min- uites afore ye see thr steamer coinin’ Toon the p’lnt. ye’ll jist be in time to cotch it. sir.** Philadelphia 'limes. II m <1 th«- Most Science. In responding to the toast “Science** at a bampiet in New York recently President Pritchett, of the Massachu setts Institute of Technology, told this stori: “In a Boston school the other day a teacher said to a small boy: ‘Who won the battle of New Or leans?* ‘Why Jim Corbett, of c< ni>e.’ was the answer, ’llow did that hap pen?’ asked the teacher, thinking Io set the b<»y right. ‘He won.’ was the prompt reply, ’because he had more bcieticr than the other guy.* ’*- Chi cago Chronicle. Wrung from Ills Soul. Harney Valley Brewery L. W’oLDENBER(J, SR., Proprietor. The services of a brewer of long years experience has been se cured anti the uroiluet of tins Brewery is of the best grade in the Inland Empire. Place a triul order and you will not be disap pointed. BURNS, _ — _ _____ OREGON **- “O come oil'.’’ It was tin* appealing, horror-struck, heart-broken outcry of a atrong man in agony. Mr. Kajones had Nevn his «laughter. Laura, for the first time ri<lmg her bi cycle in red bloomers.— Chicago Trib une. _________________ The I.ove’s Silent Interchange. Friend—How did the count propose to you. and you accept, if he could not understand your language nor you his? American Heiress—It was very simple. He showed me his family tree and I showed him my bankltook. N. Y. Weekly. Foiled Again. “Where are you going, rny pretty maid?” "Digging for darns, kind sir.” she said. ••Can J go with you. niv pretty rnai«l '’’ “But you’re already dug. she said. Puck. .Hakes a Big DilTereiice. Mr. Timmidd—llow would a girl feel if she receive«! a proposal by iet- U i ■ Friend-If she didn’t care for you, she’d fee) insulted. “I'm well—er—suppose she did care fop me?” “She’d say ‘yes’ by telegraph.”—N. Y. Weekly._____________ Not While Ho Know It. Doctor—You say your husband has been in this delirious state for the last hour? Why did you not semi for me sooner? Patient's Wife—Sure, sor, as long as he wor in his might inoiml he sai«l lie wouldn’t hav' won o' thiin «lorn doctliers in the bmiMlt pack. Windsor The bar is supplied with none but the very best brands of Wines, Liquors ami Carbonated drinks, ami the Choictst Cigars. Your patronage solicited. Courteous treatment It. all. Corner north of postoftice. Bar LEE CALDWELL Proprietor. IF YOU ARE A FARMER Buy a postal card ami send to Tlie New York Tribune Farmer, New York City, for a free specimen copy. Tlie Tribune Farmer is a National Illustra ted Agricultural Weekly for farmers and their families, and stands at the head of the agricultural press. The price is $1.00 per year, but if yon like it you can secure it with your own favorite local newspaper, The ITEMS, at a bargain. Both papers $1 50. Send money and order to The ITEMS. Private mnl Public Buidneiw». Boy—Why <lo you hire tliut niun l>y the job? Futhi r (a coligrvhMiinn)—BecuiiHv if I paiil him by the iluy lie’ll ilawiile along all Mumiiier. "Doea the government pay you by the job?" "N- v>; by the <lny." (I imm I Newx. To Cure a Cold in One Day Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. Tlie Kim! You lluro Alwnyn Bought, nuil which I ihn liccn In une for over 30 yenrn, liux humo the Nlgiuttiire of r — u,,,t hcen mudo under lilfl pcr- , sonnl nu|»ervhl<nt since Itx Intttnoy. Allow no uno to deceive you In this. All Counterfeits, liiiltiitioiis uml •• Just-iis.g<>o<l ” nre lint KxperlineutN that tritio with nn<l eiuluiiger tho heultli of lnluiits mul Children—líxpurlencu uguiiist ExperlnicnU Z in Two Days. on every bOX. 25c. The Southern Oregon State Normal School opens Wednesday, September lOth. Full faculty ; improved building; exhaustive course of study ; each department filled by a specialist. Latin and economics added for the benefit of those preparing to teach in High Schools, but are optional. $900 in cash prizes for excel lence in oratory and athletics. Exjienses light; social conditio is ideal. Send for catalogue. B. F. MULKEY, President, CLIFFORD THOMAS, Secretary