THE LAST LAUGH.
ConiUrnation of the Congregation
dom of the Innocenti.
CARL
The Wii-
Adjoining an out-of-lhc way, but
favorite an miner report, is a little
Chapel in which religious services arc
held occasionally, as clergymen can
be obtained, during the pleasure
Season.
A visiting divine consented to preach
one sabbath last summer, and, notice
being given, quite a congregation of
hotel guests aud resident neighbors
MBS' in bled. In opening the servines
the preacher bU^gested that, as the
chapel was provided with no musical
instrument, perhap« some one present
would'start a hymn, in which the con
gregation could join. A brief pause
ensued, and then the congregation
was convulsed at hearing an old Udy
str ke up, in a cracked voice,
“Believin«’ we rejoice
To etc ’.be cuss removed.”
As no o .e ‘j ined io,’ the old lady
d d not proceed f *r with the hymn,
and an awkward contretemps seemed
imminent. The clergyman was qu ck-
witted, however, and turned the ludi-
croiia ii cident to good account. II»-
xuietly arose and announced aa his
trx' the words, “B< boxing we rejoi< e,’
from which tie preached an excellent
sermon, one >h«t under the peculiar
cirt-u nstances, made ad» ep impression.
The old lady will pr»b.bly never
know why she caused such a sens«
tioo. Bhtrhvtditi the neighborhood,
and I m ing accustom» d to the pronun
ciation '‘ cum ” for “curse,” sang it that
wav.
Homespun pe ople often run counter
to some of the common customs, or
time-worn prejudices of society, and
are laughed at. Sometimes they are
right, and society is wrong.
When new and valuable ideas are
evolvtd in the progress of the world’.-
thought, those who first believe in
them are often subjected to ridicule.
But it is those who believe who have
occasion to rej ice.
Mr. A. W.i) is a prominent farmei
at N ivasino, N. Y., who was prostrated
with kidney disease, and reached a
point wherfe “the doctor said he h •»<!
done all he could.” Feb. 23d, 1883, he
writes, “As a last resort 1 otgan the
Use of Warner’s site cure, and to-day
I am h >le, hearty and hippy.” Octo
ber 13th, 1887, he again writes, “If it
had not been for your wonderful dis
covery of Warner’s safe cure, I should
have been in n y grave to-day. 1 am,
to all appear mces as free from any
trouble of the kidneys as any man
living. The doctor who doctored m
and said I must die, has since diet
with Bright’s disease!”
The honest old farmer was doubt 1 s
derided and laughed at t»y th- medic»
mm, and many of his friends, whei
he announced his determination b
try Warner’s s fe cure, a proprietor -
medico e; 1»ut he is alive and well to
dav, while the physician who laughed
at him is dead.
The wise old farmer has the Ian
laugh!
OF
GENERAL
INTEREST.
—The editor of the Knoxville J?e-
subHoan advertises for tbo photograph
.if a doiTar;
—A healthy-looking tramp at Bangor
asked a woman if she would give him n
liiiner. She told him it wasn’t her
1 liner hour, but she could give him a
substantial lunch. “I don’t want <•»
lunch, I want a dinner,” replied tin
high-toned beggar, and he walked oil.
—The wild-eyed, long-haired, som
brero-topped men so numerous in Oma
ha nowadays are not cowboys no
army scouts nor Indian-slsj’ers—unless
the lowly red-man purchases their
wares. They are patent-medicine fa
kers from the Indianless East— Omaha
Chronicle,
—A little Burlington girl who dis
likes arithmetic was asked to give the
sum of nine cows and seven cows.
••Fifteen,” she replied. When in
formed that this was wrong, she petu
lant iy exclaimed: “It doesn’t make
any difference if we only get the milk.”
—bur!ing!on Free Press.
—Mrs. El sh i Merritt, of Gainesville.
Ga., who is now over eighty years old,
has an iron pot which has been in the
possession of the family for many gen
orations. Ji was brought from Hol
land long before the revolutionary war,
and had been in the family for several
generations before that. Family tra
dition makes its age at least three hun-
dred years.
LATE
SHIPWRECKS
HORN
OFF
CAPE
Extract of letter fiom Divid Jameb
(1 «te marter) < f the bark Colorado o'.
Glasgow—‘ Having 1« st our ship on
St «ten island, on the 5th of July last,
and having saved neither effects not
provisions, we were then compelled t*
travel over the island for ten days, sub
sisting on no'hing but shellfish and sea
weed. On the 19 h of July we cam«
across another shipwrecked party of
seventceh, the surviving part of the
cr* w of th» British ship Dunskeig ot
Gla-gow fourteen having perished
thr- ugh ex|w»sure. Now, the ship «a»
lo-t on tlu 23 i oi June, »end a lot of
the cargo, consisting <<f E pps ’ COCOA
whs wasbi-d
s»«or-out of the wreck.
There w.-s nothing saved except the
Cocoa, and w»*, numbering twenty-five
men, were kept alive on it up to th«
10th of August, w‘ en we were rescued
>y the st« arner Mercurio of Bneno>
Ayr»*, and lrndetl there on the 13th
ol 8^pteml>er.
“T o much | raise cannot be given
to this coco« for the preserved stab
that it whs in, after being in the boh
tom of the a* a, in the wreck of the
Diin-keig. for a fortnight, and then
washed ashore, nod lying on the beach
n> <1 rock-of Bia-er»- island for abou'
six wt-» k-, subject to the expu-ure o’
I he s. vet^Mt w* at tier on the f<*ce of th»
globe.
“The island is situated in a region
<»f p r|eni«l tee, enow and storms, and
ah* r »11 thia ust it was as fresh and
dry as if in the works.
••A- Wo It Hi a gtsni Stock of it there
w»* used it in a liqui I state for drink,
sn I also mule i» in • thick state, like
p • ridge. >.»»d w»* «i-o b.«k>d it on th
fire, «hi-h ma e S)4-m«hd b ead, an*
ke,.« u- alive «nd warm on tin» barren
island.’’
DUNDER'8
PLAINT.
Detroit*» Teutonic Philosopher Rix’»« F<»r
the Old (ierinnn Cu»tomti.
“Sergeant,” said Carl Dunder a« he
tlp-tucd into the station-houie yester
day, “I pelief I like to go pack to
Shermany again.”
“What’» the matter now?”
‘ Vhell, every thing vhas too fast und
too strange oaf er here for some old
man’s ’ike me. Dot Yankee vbaw h
•peer feller—awful queer. Some
man’s eomo into my place eafery day
und yell out:
*Hi! dere! Two peers! Set ’em
oop, queek! Ta! ta! Guod-pye, Dun
der!’
“Und he throws down der money,
gulps down dot peer, und vhas off’ be
fore I can say Shack Robinson. It
doan’ be like dot in Shermany. I goes
mit a place at ashlow walk, und 1 goes
in py der door und shpeaks with eafery
pody. I ask him aboudt his wife un«l
children, his horse und cow und pig.
Ids health und his garden, und by und
by I sat down und say to dot barkeeper:
“ ‘Hans, may pe you haf some peel*?’
“ ‘Yes, Ilerr Dunder.’
“ ‘May pe it vhas goot peerP*
“ ‘Yes, lie vhas.’
“ ‘Vhell I try a glass.’
“lie goes py der cellar und prings
him oop, und I take a seat und play
some shockers, und I drink a leedle und
wait, und drink some more und wait,
und by und by it vhaa twelve o’clock
und I goes home to dinner.”
“That’s too slow, Mr. Dunder.”
“Dot’s der vhay all you Yankees say.
How long you pelief I vhas gctt^ufc
married. Sergeant?”
•
“Oh, perhaps three weeks, and t*
giving you seven days over the re«
IIS.”
“Tree weeks! Vhy, it vhas ten yl
und dot vhas too soon! If I wait J
more v’ar I (loan* marry Mrs. Dul
at all! It vhas like dis: It takes 1
y’ar to be introduced to dot girlJ|
takes von y’ar more before you likl
call her py her first name. May«
.after fife y’ar I take her hand und |
tint I like to be married, but it vhas
y’ar more pefore she consents und \|
all ready.”
“Too slow for me.”
“Und you vhas in sooch a hurry dot
you doan’ lif oudt half your days. Dot
prings me down to peesness. Shake
lias run avhay some more.”
“No!”
“He goes last night. We haf some
fuss again. Shake vhas too much like
a Yankee, und I talk und talk to him
und it vhas no gooL Do you know
Shake feels so pig dot he doan’ like to
haf my clothes cut oafor for him any
more!”
“Is that possible!”
“Dot vhas possible, In der oldt
country wooden shoos vhas all right
for me. in
I dis country Shake likes
some -fine ga i ters^ und he shj-ffes^ein
oop mit planking. Some oldt hat vhas
goot enough for me, but Shake he must
go oudt und puy von for tree dollar.
I haf some pants mit only two holes
in ’em, but Shake won’t put ’em
on. Vlien I vhas a poy I doan’
haf ten cents a month. Shake comes
to me almost eafery day und says he
iikes half a dollar or seex shillings.
In der oldt country I play sheckers or
¡»itch horseshoes. My Shake learns
iow to play poker und pilliards und
ots of odder games, und'it makes your
hair shtand oop to hear him talk of
base-pall and cricket. He calls me old
noss-pack, und sooch, und yesterday I
make up my mind to put a shtop to
.lim.”
“Took him down cellar, eh?”
“Dot’s vhas I like to do. I get dot
•»trap und tell him to come along, but
he says I vhas too fresh, und he vhas
gone |x»fore I get him, sergeant”
“Well?”
“Ma\r pe I vhas wrong. May pe it
\ has deeferent in dis country. May pe
lot poy of to-day vhas not like der oldt
•oys. I doan’ shleep any all night
md der oldt womans she vhas crying
dl der time for Shake, and so, if j’ou
•ee him, you may tell him to come
»ack. Tell him dot we try again. If
ie doan’ sav I vhas too fresh, und if he
<»an’ tell me to put oop my dukes, und
f he doan’ keep talking aboudt carom
•hots, hot grounders, Shackpots und
*o on I try to make it all right und get
long. Shust tell him dot. sergeant,
ind you may silently hint to him dot if
ie doan’ do petter you pelief he vliill
»e hung for murder. Good-pye, aer
i
;eant—may pe I vhas too oldt for áis
ountry,'1 —Detroit Free Press,
A Bit of Vandalism.
I sat alongside of a lady in a street
•ar the other day on my way down
own. She was elegant as to attire and
intelligent as to visage. She was read
ing, or rather looking over, one of the
leading magazines, and ever and anon,
when it became necessary to giove for
ward a page, she used her index finger
—her hand was incased in a glove—for
a paper-cutter. Shades of Tom Dibdin!
what a mess she made of it Ripped,
torn, ragged ani jagged, by the time
we were half way down town that poor
magazine was a right to behold, True,
you're right, it was her magiazine, but
my feelings happened to belong to me.
—Book Maker.
. ........
—“Thl, fivc-dollar gold piece you
gave me this mornin’ is counterfeit,"
said a vagabond to James T. Brady,
the late witty lawyer. "1 didn't give
you a gold piece; I gave you a quarter,
mv good fellow." “You meant to
give me a quarter, but yon gave me
this by mistake." “Oh! well, then
yon may keep it for your honesty!”
said the caustic wit.—-V. K Ledger.
—B**hlndthe Scene«.—
Her appetite is delicate:
She can not eat to-day;
But see her tn the pantry
Whenher bean has gone away.
—Boston Courier.
—Ch an go Is R'»«!.—Beggar’s Wife—
“August, why are you taking off
your wooden leg?”—Beggar—“Darl
ing. I am only going to atrap It on the
>ther foot; on« gets tired of hopping
about all day long on the lame leg.”—
humoristisrho Blatter.
— Some people claim that a fellow
do»*«n’t get any rest by going on an
excursion, as he generally work« hard
a week before io get ready and ihe i
p it« In the hardeat dav of Ml when he
iW*e—but thia is not so; an excursion
sually makes him sick ab»*d for a
week after bo gets back and that is
the tHne he gets his rest—ZMkota
PRACTICAl^CAUTIONS.
MARGARET—COLEMAN.
flow Till» Brave Irishwoman Saved Secre
tary Seward's Life.
Among Mr. Sumner’s servants the
one whom he most highly valued was
an elderly Irish woman, Margaret
Coleman. She was his housekeeper
for the last two years, aud now be- |
comes a historic character.
Prior to entering Mr. Sumner’s surv-
ice Margaret was of the household of
William H. Seward. When, on the
14th of April, 1865, the night of the as
sassination of President Lincoln, an at
tempt was niado on the life of Mr.
Sewaixl, she was one of those in charge
of his room, he then being confin«»d to
his bed from the effects of a fall from
his carriage. Payne, the would-be as
sassin, was met by Mr. Frederick Sew
ard at the head of the stairs. After
wounding him severely and leaving
him seemingly dead, Payne passed
over his body to reach the room of his
father. The noise had notified Mar
garet, who was in her own room on the
story above, of Payne’s approach, and
his object. As Payne entered the sick
room, Robinson, the male nurse, then
then?, confronted him. Payne struck
Robinson to the ground with his knife,
and then sprang at the Secretary.
Mr. Seward was in a half-sitting
posture, loaning his back against
a sick-chair placed in the bed for
his support. Realizing Payne’s object,
lie pulled the bed clothing over his head
for his protection. Payne struck him
a number of times. One blow was so
well aimed that it passed through th«*
!><’d vlwth«-.«,
hi« cheek ini » his
\iwk on the riofit «¡<1«, ami anoth r on
An Oano« of Prevention From the losur-
ttuce Coinp«nieii.
Everv year million» of dollar»’ worth
of the material resource« of the country
are swept away by fire. This loss is an
absolute one. It oan not bo replaced
nor repaired. The individual owner
due» not feel this if adequately insured,
but, nevertheless. With every tire the
country at large is poorej by ibe amount
of the loss.
It is alarming to note that in spite of
our continually improving facilities for
lighting lire, and the increasing uurn-
bers of fire-proof baildiugs. the gross
lueses throughout the country grow
steadily greater year by y«*ar. Below
is an accurate tabulated statement of
the country’s yearly loss by tire, which
i« not pleasant refilling:
I 04,115,000 1W.
1«7S
“ •100,140,000
*
187».
tSHD.
1841.
77,700,000 1384.
74.6U.OOJ 1885.
, 81,883.00) 1880.
, 84,505,000,
1 ÍÜ.OOO.OM»
. 10».W8,(JU0
Our national resources are so im
mense that the country has not yel
seriously felt this drain, but it is evi
dent that the time must eomo when It
will feel it. Tills is especially true if
we take into consideration the amount
of numey spent annually in fighting
tire. Hew York's tire department alone
ousts more than $1,000,000 annually;
its insurance patrol more than (10d.-
800.
Ths principal insurance companies,
actuated by such consiaeratlona, have
adopted a plan which is so simple and
promises to bo so effective that it de
serves to have public atyjfillun called
to it.
They have printed and propose to dis-
’ IK—■ ,
. , ■
— .--------------------
tributegratuitouslj through every build
L’ker ingin the city, asetof “Fire Cautions.”
had Their idea is that if these are posted in
and conspicuous places in olliee buildings,
up factories, tenement housesand the like,
sin. the practical cautions they etuliody
mie will not be apt to bo forgotten. Cer
tile tainly, if they are remembered and al
>m, ways carefully observed, accidental
<>m tires would be few and far between.
: in
The cautions are given below. It
e’s can bo seen that they are sensible,
vas practical and intelligible:
ne,
Don't allow stoves or heaters on your
ami sne xvas liurivd against the door premises which are not securely set on
jamb with such force as to break her stone, cemented brick or metal, and be
collar-bone. Major Seward was »lightly sure that all woodwork near the stoves
cut in several places. But none of th or pipes is carefully protected with
women except Margaret was in any mot al.
injured. Payne, after cutting his way
Don’t allow any loose-jointed gas
out. mounted his horse and escaped. brackets on yonr promises which eould
Meantime Mr. Seward had apparently bo swung against woodwork, or any
disappeared, and for a moment gas brackets without wire screens or
it was thought that the as- globes, if hay, straw, light materials or
sassin had thrown him out of window curtains are near them.
the window. Ho had, however, rolled
Don’t allow any electric lights or
himself in his be«l clothing, ami fallen wire# on your premises which are not
between the bed and the wall, blit was properly protected.
so suspended by the clothing that he
Don’t allow steam-pipes to be in con-
had not reacho(£ thjijlo*ip JUaqiaret^with wood or inflammable ma
4ffm" up, unrolled him, now teriiiE — ——
nearly smothered in the blAnkets and
Don't alloW*?ny kerosene oil lamps
the blood, and assisted in doing what ts b.> rilled aftorditit Filling lamps
was necessary before she found out near n fire is dangerouJ?^-^
how much she herself was injured. She
Don't forget to keep the laiiTps nvlill;
recovered, however, sufficiently to con and w icks in goodoiUer. When tho oil
tinue to act as head nurse to Secretary is loir it generates gas, which is liable
Seward, to Mr. Frederick Seward and to explode.
Mrs. Seward, who never recovered
Don’t allow benzine, gasoline, naptha
from the shock of that night, and who or explosives in your place. Your in
died in Margaret’s arms, and, finally, surance policy prohibits it.
as nurse to Miss Fannie Seward- She
Don't allow ashes to bo put in a
saw her pass away within the year.
wooden box or barrel in your building.
When Mr. Fish succeeded Mr. Sewarr. Always have anli on ash can.
as Secretary of State, ho took certain
Don't allow an oily waste or rags to
of the Seward servants, who agreed to be thrown on the Boor, but only in a
stay with him until Mrs. Fish brought metal can. with cover, and have them
her own establishment to Washington. cakenontof the building every night;
So Margaret remained wife*» the new .hey are self-igniting.
Secretary of State for six months, and
Jon’t allow any greasy or oily rags
then went to Mr. Sumner, with whom or papers to be mixed up with clean
she remained until his death. The ar clippings, or a large amount of clip
rangement was particularly agre< able pings to remain in your place (even if
to the ladies whom Mr. Sumner re clean and in bales) than is absolutely
ceived, as most of them had been ac unavoidable.
customed to her friendly ministrations
Don’t allow saw-dust to be used on
when visiting at the Seward and Fish Hoorn or in spittoons. It causes many
houses. — Cosmopolitan,
tiros, ignited by cigar stumps or cigar
ettes.
A Sample of Turkish Justice.
Don't allow saw-dust to be used for
You have often read wondrous and catching oil drippings from machinos
lying tales of justice administered with or elevator gearing. Sand is safe.
Don't allow matches to he kept loose,
unerring judgment in Turkey. Here is a
true story of Turkish justice: A drovei or in paper boxes, but only ill motal or
complained to a cross-legged magnate earthen safes. Those lighting only on
at Rodosto that be had been robbed of the box are safest.
Don't allow smoking on your prem
two oxen. Three Turkish gendarmes-
were sent to recover the property, and ises wherp any combustible goods or
soon discovered two peasants going ofi materials are used.
Don’t fail to have your fire-buckets
with two oxen. One of the men was
shot dead. The other escaped, and th« tilled, and test hose and fire appliancos
policemen hastily buried their man and from time to time.
Don’t allow your stairs or hallways
came back in triumph witn two oxen.
But the man said those oxen had not to be blocked up or used for "storage,”
been stolen from him, an«l it was plain or rubbish, hay, straw, etc., to accumu
that the peasant had been shot for driv late or remain on your premises.
Don’t fail to havo all elevators or
ing his own cattle. The situation was-
uncomfortable but Turkish diplomacy hoistways provided with good trap
fixed things. Another man was found doors or hatches, and have these shut
to swear be had been robbed of the two at night.
Don't forget to close your iron »hat
oxen, aii«l they were turned over to
Mm, which relieved the gendarmes ters at night.
Don’t forgot that neglect and care
fr,m guilt. They did not go unpun-
ished, however, for they had buried the lessness are thecause of more fires than
dead peasant without first washing the all other things, and enforce rules to
body, which in Turkey is a crime ex guard against them.—X K Commer-
cept in case of a soldier killed in battle. eial Advertiser.
For that negligence they were impris
—Just now a comparatively new fad
oned.— Levant Herald,
has broken out among fashionables. It
—Chollv—“Did you hear about that is installing as prime favorite, among
bank smash up yesterday, GawgeF the other antiques, the old-fashioned
Cashier ran away with the funds.” brass warming pan, which is now hung
Gawge—“Common occurrence; I don’t in the hall or library near the fireplace.
pay any attention to such reports any They really do give a cheerful look
more.” “I tell you, if a man has got with their brass covers, which are kept
any surplus cash nowadays it stands polished with dazzling brightness.
him in hand to put it where he knows They bring large prices when offered
sale. So any one who has one
it will stay. By the way, can you let for
me have a ten this morning?” “Really, licked away in some garret better
it forth, tor they possess a prize,
dear boy. you offer me such excellent bring
advice about, putting money where 1 is they are something not likely to be
know’ it will stay that I am almost reproduced. — fit. Louie RejiubkictiK.
sorry I have no surplus funds.”—
A Hezaonable Offer.
Binghamton Republican.
Sleeping Car Porter (doeting off a
—Friend (to patent medicine mnnu- lawmgor:)—Am yo' a resident of New
facturrr)—“How is your great •cure- io'k, ear?”
all' renusly taking, old man?" Manu
Pawnger—Yr’. I'm one ef tbo
facturer — “Immensely. I’ve made iffiriala at Caetle Gordon.
enough out of it in the last three
Sleoping Car Porter (anxionaly)—
months to warrant a trip to Europe." km <int ao? Well, if I give, yo’
Friend—“Going for pleasure, I sup Xood dnatin' off an' Mark, yo' boot,
pose." Manufacturer—“No. I'm go in’ give« yo' a dollar, .ah, wnd that
ing for my health."— Drake'» Travel ba enongh? Iae a poo' man, boee;
er.' Magatine.
deed I to.—X. T. Sun.
—A Hartford (Conn.) man sent his
— The a.-«cr»*«l Burmese white ale«
boy into the country equipped with s
is to hr removed from Mandalay
woodchuck trap and other appliance* phnnt
o R ngomi to convince the natives
for enjoying his vacation, and told him that
’hr royal house has disappeared
to have s good time and be snre to g'
to church on Sundays. The first lettei forever. S long ae the eh phant re-
he received from the boy «aid: ••Dear nained a M m<lalay many of the Bor-
pnpn. I’ve caught a woodchuck. It war mms firmly believed that Th«-bnw or
mt family would «ventually eajoy
« aknnk. I did not go to eh arch. Tour» their
own agai^,
UTeetjexAtelT* ”
A. P. Fos* saw a live chicken floating
and struggling In the canal at Suncook,
N. H., and pulled it out. Attached to*iu
leg was a pi kerel weighing over two
pounds, which had grabbed the chicken's
leg iu such a way that it could not lei go.
ETTS PHOTO.
The venerable bene
factor of mankind,
Intent upon hi» good
works, is known as
REAU IHE DhATH ROLL
we see him here.
Ills familiar face and
Which the hUla of mortslily of any large city
niuy be fitly denlgnuted. and you will tlud that form have become a trade mark, und the
renal and vesical maladies, that is to »ay. good he has dune is illnstruted in the follow
those that artetfi th« kidney« or bladder, hav« ing man cions instance:
Jan. 17, 1883,
a remarkable prominence-we had almost Georgs C. Osgood & Co., druggists, lxiwril.
aaia -piepomlareuee.
Bright'« AUease and Mass., wrote: “Mr. Lewis Dennis, No. 136
lUabotue In the chroutc stag« are rarely
Mooly st., desires to rocomtuund St. Jacobs
cured, and gravel, catarru of tho bixdder
«Ld
enu'ual»,
«lay mauy.
~
—
-
vuu
omm ,
»»ay
Yet at the [ Oil to auy affiioUd with rheumatism, and
uutgi L wheu th« trouble aierely amo su is U> desires especially to suv that Orrin Robinson,
inactivity of the organ« involved, tho danger ' of Grantville, Mas»., a boy,of 12 years, came
may be uu lifit^i by that pleananr i«mal Louie '
and diuretic H«ntet»««■•. ato ^acb Bilt«ra, wulcb to liis house in tbd amianer of 1881 walking
imparts the requisii« a . uunl of ton« to the I upon crutehus, bis left log having been bent
organa, without over-excitiug them, and the ! at the knee for over two months und eould
us of which i< convenient, and iuvulve» no
elabora»« preparation. Dvsnep la. a usual con- not be bent back. He could not walk upon
° ¿nitant of renal lompUIuta, and dstdlny
it. Mr. Dennis had some St. Jacoba Oil in
which they inva iably p oducc. are reinesiicd
the house ai»d gave it to him to ruboiklds
by it. bo also are conNiipatian, malarial, rheu
made and nervousailnitMiU.
knee. In six days ha had no irse for his
crutches and went homo well without them,
The color of the jel y is spoiled by being and he has been well since 8t. Jacobs Oil cured
hitu.” In July. 1887, Inquiry was made of the
boiled loo long.
Messrs. Osgo«xi to ascertain the condition of
0V*R-W0aKKD WOMEN.
the little cripple, which brought the follow
For “worn-out,” “run down,” debilitated I ing res|K>nse : “Lowell, Mass., July 9, 1887.—
school teachers, milliner-, seam Ires sc-, The poor cripple on cru'ehes, Orrin Robin
housekeepers and overworked women, son, cured by St. Jacobs Oil in 1881, has re
gp erally, Dr. Pi rce’s Favorite Prescrip- 1 mained cured. The young man has been
lion is tlie best of all restorative tonics, it I and is now at work every day at manual
is not a “Cure-all,” but admirabD lultillsa labor. Dr. George 0. Osgood, M. I).’’ No
ringleness of purpose, be«ng a most potent other remedy can make the same allowing.
f°r
tho<e Chronic Weakness««»
ami Di eases peculiar to w omen. It is a ¡ U nitarian religious literature sent free on applica-
ic»ertui.-t^>e'ral M we'l'i »
I tion t.» Mim» E F Davison. P.O. Drawer
SiTff 5*20, I‘<.rilando
PURE
0?PRÍCfs
CREAM
ÍPWDE?
perfect
Tt* «uperi 'rexceUanoeprovenla railHon l nf Don« f,«
mare Ui»u wqu* ler of «ceutuiy. 1» »• >
oy , a
JJuitffj state»« »ovtjm'»ent. I nd .reed by the luud «oft h»
Gr it Uniyerdth)'* a-« the Stronc*»«»-, Purtfl und 5. nt
Healthful. Dr. Prle»'» tn« only Baking Powder hat
a<>e4 not cantala ▲uHuiraia, Lima ox Alum. boJdcmly
in Cant.
TRUJK BAKING POWDEB CO..
NEW YORK
nn i nervine, and imparts vigor and I
at ength to the whole system. It promptly I
Wakelee’H Squirrel and Gopher Extermi
cures weakness of stomach, Indigestion, j na
tor
«ji
nator
Try it, and prove the l>esr. U the
bloating, weak back, nervous prostration, I
. Wakelee & Co., San Francisco.
debility and slrepl senses in either sex ■
Favorite Priori tien 1« sold by druggists
uiui&r our positive guarantee. See wiap-
l>er around » ottle. Hrlce *1.00 » bot
tle, or m ! x hottie» For flS.OO.
A largii treatise on Diseases <«f Women,
profusely ill»i (rated wiih colored plates
and numerous wood cuts, sent for ten
cents in «tamps.
Address W orld ’ s D ispbnsary M edical
A ssociation 6 3 Main St., Buffalo, N. Y.
CURl .a Al.v HUMOR»,
from « common Illotcl», or F.ruptlon«
tn tho worst Scrofula.
Sult-rheum,
I \
“ Fever - sores,”
All diMvaaee of the Throat and LnngH can be
cure I by the use of Meo It's Emnlalon. aa it
contains tho healing virtue« of God Liver Oil
aud Hypophosphite« in thoi fullest form, Ian
beautiful creamy Kmulsiun, pilatahle an milk,
easily dige-ted. and can be taken by the most
delicate.
i lease read:
“1 consider Scott's
Emulsion the remedy par-excellence in Tubeir-
cnlous nd Strumous Affections, to say nothing
of ordinary colds and throat troubles."—W. R. 8.
CORNELL. M. D., Manchester, O.
Send ten cents In stamps for a
large tn'atlse. with colored nlutes, on Skin
l>ls. a«<«. or the same amount (or a treatlso
on Scrolidous Affections.
..
«THE
A «pi'erlor remedy for Concha, Coldm,
Incipient Consumption, and all
Throat and Imng Troubles.
Sold bf all Druggists for 50 Cents.
CONSUMPTION,
which Is ScrofuIn of tlic l.itiigR, is ar
rested and cured by this reiikxly, if taken l»o-
ioro the last stages of the disease are ri n< In d.
from its marvelous power over this terribly
fatal dis«w»<\ when first off« ring this now
celebrated remedy to tho public. Dr. 1’iEiicB
thought sorlously of oalhng it liis ‘‘Coii-
nuiHption Cure.” but abandoned that
□aino as too Umitea for a nu dicine wldch,
from its wonderful combination of tonic, or
strengthening, alterative, or blood-cleansing,
anti-billouB, pectoral, and nutritive proper-
tl«i. Is unequalod. not only ns a remedy for
consumption, but for all Chronic Dln-
ea«e« of the
ease«
Liver, Blood, and Lungs.
If y\ '1 feel dull, drowsy, debilitated, have
sallow color of skin, or yellowish-brown snots
on face or Inxly, frequent headache or dlzzi-
ness. bad fast«» In mouth, internal heat or
chills, alternating with hot flusbc«, low spirit«
and gloomy forebodings, irregular appetite,
and coated tongue, you are sulh riiig from
I
Indigestion, Dympcpsin, »nd Torpid
One pint of coffee A sugar wei hs twelve
ounces. -------1------------ -B-
l>r. Pierce’s Golden Jledicul !>!«•
covory I h unsurpaased.
For
Wenk
Lung«,
«pitting
of
lllooil, SliortncAM or IBrcatl*, itroii-
cliitis, Astliina. Never« Gough«, and
DISPENSARY.
VOB2LAND, OB.
O10 New
kindrotl affections. It is an rill« li nt rein«dy
S old by D ruggists , at $1.00, or SIX
BOTTLEK for $5.00.
Bend ten cents In stamps for Dr. Pierces
book <» ii ('onsumplion.
Address.
World’s Di«p©li«ary Medical A««o-
ou, WW Main Street, B uffau >, N. Y.
Yonnff, mMlle-affed and
»lnsh i ot marniMt men
alkirho suffer with
LOST MANHOOD
ability, 8n«nn«»
York State Senate, stands alni55tw’it!l.QUt
WHITMAN COLLEGE.
Liver, or ”BHiiouanc««.”
In many
oases only part of these symptoms are expo
rloneed. A h a remedy for all suoh cases,
The Van Monciscar
legislative business, Ed
College and S- ientifle Course«, Normal
Course, College Preparatory Course, Busi
ness C urae, Conservatory of Music, Mod
ern L nguages, Arts, Boar(i ng Depart
ment. HpringTerm Ireifinw lliircb
7, IMs.H. Has two good bui dings. Twelve
Teache. s. Library and apparatus.
For
Catalogue or admission, address: A. J.
A ndkiuon , President, Walla Walla, W.T.
»y,Falling Muni
Kyra, Lack <M
_____ __
Blood an(
’ Skin rSfleiiaea, ByphllUr
Eruption« Hair Fallin»
Bone l’riins, R welling
Sore Throat, Ulcer«. K
feota of Mercury, Kidney
and Bladder Trouble
IVeikBaoc. Burn ng Urine. Gonorrhea, Gleet Btric»
ura priHnpt relief and cure for life.
REWARD
1. offcradVLiSwsCTir*0”
y A of Dr. Sago's Vniari h R«'nteav
■"iÿ lor u cuse of catarrh which
they cannot cure. If you
have a discharge from the
nose, offensive or otherwise, partial loss of
smell, taste, or iv aring, weak eyes, dull t)ufn
or nreasiiro in head, you have Cutarrh. 'I hou-
sands of cases terinlnnto in consumption.
Dr. Sage's C atarrh R emedy cures f lie worst
sm
Both Hexes Con «alt foafldenttally
OPffTOB—IBM St IRA THIRD
The Oregon National Bank,
OF PORTLARiB.
cases of Catarrh. “Cold In tho Head,»
(fluccessors to MotrvnoUtan Having«(Bank.)
OATIT a JTPAID IN.
»100,000
Transacts a (•“»«•»nl Ranking Buttineaa
AOOOUN t S kept subject to cliock.
BELLH EXC'IIANGM oa Hun Franctaco and Now Yark.
MAKES COLLEOTIONH '»• fav«able term«.
VAN B DsLAHHMUTT
°»CO. B MARKLE, Jn.,
Ptetadent.
Vicei'ratetenC.
D F SHERMAN Oaabtar
6.000*000
people
and Catarrhal Headache. 60 cents.
FUW^ nds
■
ERN IL ll I.ANDrt. Four million acre«,
Huitablu for Orangen, Lemon», Olives, Pineapple^
ftananae, Strawl.orrie« and early v< getablea Ko«
salo on long cred IL $1.25 to $8.00 per acre.
USE
O.M.FERRYACO.
are admitted to t»® t he
Our Hrw Store, which we now occupy,
has about 3 acres of Floor Space.
OThe BUYER»’ GUIDE ta
issued Sept, and March,
each year. <^- 3B4 page»,
8% *11% inches,with over
3,000 illustrations — a
whole Picture Gallery.
G1VKS Wholesale Prices
direeS tn eoneutnrrs on all goods for
personal or family- use. Tells how to
order, and gives exact cost of every
thing you use, eat. drink, wear, or
have fun with. Three INVALUABLE
BOOKS contain Information gleaned
from the markets of the world. A
copy sent FREE upon receipt of
10 cts. to defray expense of mailing.
Largest Seedsmen
in the world.
D.
F£TRY A CO 8
CONBUMPT10N BUBELT CURED.
To the Editor : —
I’loaHo tnform your reader« that I have a pos
itive remedy for the above named disease. By
ite timely use thousands of hopeless cases have
b en permanently cured. I shall be glad to
mmk I two boUleaor my remedy ekkb to any of
your reatiers who have consumption if they will
send me their Expresn and P. O. address.
Respectfully,
.. A. SLOCUM. M. C.. U1 bearl 8L, New York
llld*tra(etf, He-eriy.
tixr hb J 1 rtc*4
SEED
ANNUAL
For ISS3
Will be mailed
REE TO ALL
applicant», and
to last (waaon'a
euHtomore with
out ordering it.
Beat, easiest to use and cheapest. Piso’s
Remedy for Catarrh. By druggiate. 60c
Invaluable to uH.
Ev**ry pernon omn«
Oarden, F leid-r f lower
EEDS^“^
Jay Gould's income is >1,000 an hour
No trouble to swallow Dr. Pierce’« a. M. FBRR vaoo.,Detroit,Mloh.
Pelle s.
SELBY SMELTING AND LEAD CO.,
Ten common-sized eggs weigh a pound.
San Francisco,
Anthina,
For
Th r<nt
Biitorder«,
Bromhial Trnches.'’
T ry G brmka
MONTGOMERY WARD & CO.
lli-114 Michigan Avenue, Chicago, ill.
PEOPLE’S DISPENSARY
nn<i
—AND—
use '‘Brown's
for breakfauL
Acme Electric Be1? Agency
W" g/ SHOTGUN -CARTRIDGLS
Camelline Improve» »nd preserves the oomplexton.
ADVIOC
ANO
MEDICINE tl.OO.
Big G h»»given univer
sal satisfaction in tbs
enrs of Gonorrhoea and
Gleet. I prescribe It and
feel Rafa In recoinmend-
Inff It to all nufferers.
A. J.fiTOWER. N.n^
Dsostur, III.
PURIFIED
and BEAUTIFIED
by
171 Fourth HU bet. Morrison and Yamhill,
Portland, Oregon.
BUILL LAMBKRSON, Qen'l Agent.
7 Mtark »t.. Portland. Or.
SKIN & SCALP
CLEANSED
'CUTICURA.
I.IEV.“
Golden Medical Discovery, and good
dlge.llon, a «air »kin, linoyanl «pir.
II., and vital .trenglh, will be established.
Soft butter the size of an egg weigh
one ounce.
a peer. Such a place as he holds is a most
trying« ne and requires great powers of
enduraj co. One of Mr. Pitts’ ablest sup
porters will be seen in his letter given
1 elow:
S tatr of N ew Y ork , S enate C hamber ,
A lbany , March 1«, 188
I have used Allcock’s Porous Plasters in
my fa««, ly f«»r the p.«si live ¿ears, and can
tru hfn Ij say they are a valuable remedy
and off* ct great cures.
I would not be
without them. I have in several iustair es
given some to friends suffering with weak
and Ian e barks, and they have invariably
afforded certain and speedy relief. They
cannot te too highly commended.
E dmund L. P itt ®.
BLOOD IS THE
Thoroughly cleanse It by using Dr. Pierce’.
Wallowa Chieftain. Joseph, Or., Oct. 17. ’87.
We have us-'d in this office for the past
eighteen month« or e of y tir (»Id Reliable
10x15 job presses. For strength, motion,
ease of running and for gene r.l good work
we have never seen a press superior to it
Can cheerfully recommend it to the trade.
Your»» truly,
F. M. M c C ully .
mnnd L Pitts, the Preiild^J'
Hough
Gland«.
BALL'S PULMONARY
X3AX.SkA.:MC.
THE “OLD RELIABLE.”
PRESIDE'T OF THE NEW YORK
STATE SENATE.
or
Boll., Carbuncle., »ore Hyo«, Strot-
nlou. Sore, and Swellings, lllp-
lolnt
Dl.c.rae,
While
Swellings,
Goitre, or Thick Neck, and Enlarged
CHRONIC OIT3H8 ARD CnLD8.
THE
Scaly
Skin, in short, all diseaacs caused by bsid
blood aro conquered by this now« rfuL puri
fying. and Invigorating medicino.
Great
£atl ng Fleer, rapidly hen.' unJer its b<>-
nten tnlliienoo. Especially has It nianifesU'd
it. potency In curing Teller, How lla-n,
Put very little lard in your^bread if you
wish it to be white.
Dr. Pierce’s “Favorite Prescription” i>
not extolled aa a “cure-all,” but admirabh
full!I Is a wlngleneNH of purpose, lie ng :
most p »tent specific in those chronic weak
nesHCri peculiar to women.
BT. LOTH.
CHICAGO
PRICE tl.OO.
I
.
Bold by Dru(Kl«te*
omi rikWl !M«Trnnnt <>nl vi w m'r.i in' very town fn>
R CLKANRTNG. PURIFYING AND
r
beautifying the akin of children and infants
and « uring torturing, disfigurinff, itching, ncaly
OFFER R0. 173.
and pimply disease« of the skin, scalp and
blood, with lo«e of hair, from infancy to old age.
FRFE! —To M erchant « O mi . t :
An'
the CUTICVRA R it MX oiks ar« infallible.
e|egant«|!ver-pla»ed Water Pitcher, frosted j
CUfJCURA, the great HEIN CUR«, and OUT!-
and
richly
c
rved
:
height,
13
inches.
Ad
1
CURA roAP an exquisite Hkln Bcantlfler, pre
pared from it. externally and C uticura R x - dream st once, II. W. TANBILL & Co., 66 ,
■OLWirr. the new Blood I*urider, internally, State Street. Chicaro.
invariably succeed when all other remedies
and the best phyMrians f»ll.
QTFIMWÀY HRAMK’H A MALM.
C uticura HRMsnim are absolutely pure and O I CHI If A I f Gabier. lUMÜah Diano«; Bur
th« only Infallible skin beeutiflers and blood dot Organ*, band instrumenta. latrgewt etock
of Rheot M onio and Books. Bands an dp !led at
purifiers, free from poisonous ingredients.
M-OX A x CO.
Sold everywhere. Price,CvncuEAjiOo.: S oap . EMtem price«.
ST* Pnet Rtmet Zsn FmnrlMm.
Ific.: REROLVEirr.il. Prepared by the P otter
D rug and C hemical C o .. B ortor , M asi
«WRend for “How to Cure Wk in Diseases.”
Pfso’» Remedy for Catarrh ie the Hi
D iDV!QSkin a"'1 Scalp preserved and heauti
Eaaieet to C*«. »md Cheaprmt.
DADI 0 fled byCuTtrvEA METitrsTsr» fir»»p
I WAN
CURED
or
CATA R R H
BY
C atarrh
LY ’S
■ CATARRH
r ■ Al rARRHr^ATMlN! FRI
PENNYROYAL PILLS
Rnld hr dmgídfft» or »«nt by mail. H
SOe. E. T. Ha¿Jtína. Warren, Pa. I|||
Li
tari
"CHICHESTER'S ENGLISH.”
The Original «nd Only Gennlnc.
«M* aa4 Mwsre lUlfkM*
tSiSU
(Maffin.) IB
L L
■ -.fl«..-
w tl ma i »tK-ni«,
g
A 'W
B- s. L««» bbbabh A Ca. Nv*w
1« w*f p«rUcolBr. in letter b, r< tarn medt
«•tff Fy
wrvywhery. A»t *r *T1i*rl»»a
tar's Kacli.1” Fe«mgrag«A P1U» Tata
CREAM BALM
TrODSAMDS
R'vare of w«iril»l*M ImfUBtlaMh
J-t.’X.'l-Ä S
REWARD!
lavlgairater.
5
O*w»»*
Ny J P Altaa. «4. Pv»l Miaa
To*« a Day. «ample» worth tl.M, FREE.
IJnra not under the horaeafe«». Writ« Bar««
rm ■ S a ’ f ’ v !.»!!• Hot h»H < <. ,Holly . WI' h
P. N. V. Ma* »<AI. N. U. Na. Bl.
i
tlfinn Wlllh«p»Mfnr««rh»nd«-»ry fcraln rf pr««
'PiUuU M> U»BU«4M4»ii «». f.,«HI«l >O M U*l III « KnÌHTtin«
« m »«* I U»ff mkx I dUitflitful kiwi on j
hantri*va L. let artici«
p i «I m «I tot i «auU/yiu|
«■ l
ff t»!«e link ai n rem-wing U»n. ni L«r«.
tr curii tu t a I !■! miah • ai.d roug »
«>f Ih »Iti».
tJ «d «« <4 ! .4 •«« <1 hjr thè eli » <>f K'CÌ tj a ■ I *bt
»■a •
►<>! I bf ali uni <1 ria •» S • e «> « rw boto»
Wk.ta aad H-d»
REDÌNGT- N « C •.
M MLaa •
»e» fraiipB— A«W«B.