The Bulletin., October 21, 2022, Page 6, Image 6

A6 THE BULLETIN • FRIDAY, OCTOBER 21, 2022
DEAR ABBY
Write to Dear Abby online at dearabby.com
or by mail at P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069
Dear Abby: I was married
for more than 40 years. My
ex constantly badmouths me
to everyone. He got to our
grown daughter early during
our separation, and it’s clear
to me she has sided with him.
He’s a very intelligent narcis-
sist who manipulates people
and they’re not even aware
of it. Our divorce took three
different lawyers and cost me
thousands, which was his in-
tention. Should I open up to
my daughter and try to get
her to understand why I can’t
be around him? I don’t want
to alienate my only child.
— Free But Not Totally
Happy
Dear Free: If you were
married to your husband for
40 years, your daughter is
no longer a child. Do not at-
tempt to diminish her opin-
ion of her father — simply
explain why you could no
longer stay married to him.
If you can discuss your di-
vorce with her and point out
specific examples she may
have noticed in her youth
that led to your divorce, I see
no reason why you shouldn’t.
Dear Abby: My daughter
and I are both immunocom-
promised. I have cancer; she
has asthma and rheumatoid
arthritis. Our doctors have
advised us to not gather with
crowds. We didn’t attend my
niece’s wedding or her baby
shower because nobody was
masked and everyone was
together. Now it seems like
we have been forgotten.
We were not invited to
recent holiday celebrations.
My sister-in-law always sent
group invites to these events,
but we haven’t received any.
They haven’t even asked us
how we are. We are still not
able to attend, but we would
like to think we are still wel-
come. Am I justified in feel-
ing this way?
— Excluded In California
Dear Excluded: For the
time being, you must ac-
cept that you won’t be able
to mingle with large groups.
However, that doesn’t mean
you can’t meet with small
groups. To be less at risk,
consider hosting some small
get-togethers with vacci-
nated friends and relatives,
and you may not feel so
isolated. But please do not
blame folks who know your
circumstances, and whose
invitations you have refused,
for removing you from their
guest lists for now.
Dear Abby: My crush is
in love with this girl. I love
him, and this girl isn’t right
for him. I mean, she’s the
jealous type and totally pos-
sessive. She’s telling me she’s
his “owner,” and that after
they get married, his body
and everything about him
is hers. I’m saying no matter
what she says, he will never
be hers.
You can’t own a person,
and you really shouldn’t be
with someone who’s posses-
sive because it means they’re
insecure, and it’s not healthy
for a relationship. She basi-
cally tried to make me jeal-
ous. I love him so much. I
want him to be happy, but I
don’t think it should be with
her. I need some advice.
— Crushing In Georgia
Dear Crushing: You are
entitled to your opinion, but
as you stated, this guy is in
love with her, not you. She
may act possessive because
she knows you want him,
so she’s trying to establish
boundaries. If she is really
as insecure as you think,
there will come a point af-
ter which he may begin to
feel smothered. That may be
when you’ll finally get your
chance. For now, back off
and sweeten up.
YOUR HOROSCOPE
By Georgia Nicols
Stars show the kind of day you’ll have
DYNAMIC | POSITIVE | AVERAGE | SO-SO | DIFFICULT
MOON ALERT: There are no restrictions to shopping or important deci-
sions today. The Moon is in Virgo.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY FOR FRIDAY, OCT. 21, 2022: You are
charming, multitalented and articulate. You love adventure. You enjoy the
company of like-minded people. This year is the beginning of a new nine-
year cycle for you. Be open to new opportunities. Be ready to take action
and define your goals. You might take on a leadership role.
ARIES (March 21-April 19)
Keep your eyes open, because solutions that could apply to your work,
your job or even your health might be revealed today. Admittedly, something
unexpected might require your attention. Be smart and give yourself extra
time so you have wiggle room to deal with surprises. Tonight: Get organized.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20)
This is a mildly accident-prone day for your kids, which means par-
ents and childcare workers should be vigilant. Meanwhile, a surprise invita-
tion might come your way today. Be ready to act fast with changes related
to sports, social occasions and the entertainment world. Tonight: Play!
GEMINI (May 21-June 20)
Your home routine might have a surprise today. A small appliance
might break down or a minor breakage could occur. Someone unexpected
might knock at your door or surprise company might drop by. Stock the
fridge so that you’re ready! Tonight: Cocoon at home.
CANCER (June 21-July 22)
This is a busy, restless day for you. Expect to meet new faces and see
new places. Unscheduled short trips are likely. On the upside, you might
be full of clever, original ideas. On the downside, plans might change at the
11th hour. Stay light on your feet. Tonight: Busy conversations.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)
Something to do with your assets and your money is unpredictable
today. For example, you might find money; you might lose money. Be smart
and protect what you own against loss, theft or damage. Write down your
moneymaking ideas for future consideration. Tonight: Check your money.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
Today the Moon is in your sign dancing with unpredictable Uranus. This
makes you easily excitable, spontaneous and impulsive. That’s why you feel you
have things to do, places to go and people to see! You will learn something new.
Nevertheless, think before you speak or act. Tonight: You’re in charge.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)
It’s a restless day! You have that feeling that you’re waiting for the
other shoe to drop. Bide your time, because you are in charge of things due
to the fact that the Sun, Mercury and Venus are all in your sign. You’ve got
this covered. It’s a good day to shop for wardrobe items. Tonight: Solitude.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
A friend might surprise you today by saying or doing something you
didn’t expect. Or possibly you will meet someone new who is unconven-
tional or a bit different. Whatever the case, you will be tempted to modify
your future goals. Tonight: A friendly conversation.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
Relations with bosses, parents, teachers, VIPs and the police are a bit
unpredictable today. You might not be sure what’s going on. You might
be able to count on their support, but can you really? Be smart and make
sure you know what’s really happening. Don’t count your chickens before
they’re barbecued. Tonight: You’re noticed.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
Travel plans might suddenly change today. They might be canceled or
delayed. Likewise, although you might have clever, original ideas related to
publishing, the media, medicine and the law, these same areas are subject
to unexpected changes and cancellations. Be ready for this. Tonight: Explore!
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
Be smart and double-check banking issues, insurance matters and
anything to do with shared property or shared responsibilities, because
something unexpected might need your attention. When it comes to mon-
ey, you snooze, you lose. Tonight: Check your finances.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)
Be patient with partners and close friends today, because they might
throw you a curveball. Almost certainly, they will do or say something that sur-
prises you. Don’t jump to conclusions. Make sure you have all the facts before
you respond so you don’t end up with egg on your face. Tonight: Cooperate.
TODAY
IN HISTORY
By The Associated Press
Today is Friday, Oct. 21, the 294th
day of 2022. There are 71 days left
in the year.
Today’s Highlight in History:
On Oct. 21, 1879, Thomas Edison
perfected a workable electric
light at his laboratory in Menlo
Park, N.J.
In 1797, the U.S. Navy frigate
Constitution, also known as “Old
Ironsides,” was christened in Bos-
ton’s harbor.
In 1805, a British fleet com-
manded by Adm. Horatio Nelson
defeated a French-Spanish fleet
in the Battle of Trafalgar; Nelson,
however, was killed.
In 1917, legendary jazz trum-
peter Dizzy Gillespie was born in
Cheraw, South Carolina.
In 1944, during World War II, U.S.
troops captured the German city
of Aachen (AH’-kuhn).
In 1960, Democrat John F. Ken-
nedy and Republican Richard
M. Nixon clashed in their fourth
and final presidential debate in
New York.
In 1966, 144 people, 116 of them
children, were killed when a coal
waste landslide engulfed a school
and some 20 houses in Aberfan,
Wales.
In 1971, President Richard Nixon
nominated Lewis F. Powell and
William H. Rehnquist to the U.S.
Supreme Court. (Both nominees
were confirmed.)
In 1976, Saul Bellow won the No-
bel Prize for literature, the first
American honored since John
Steinbeck in 1962.
In 1985, former San Francisco
Supervisor Dan White — who’d
served five years in prison for kill-
ing Mayor George Moscone and
Supervisor Harvey Milk, a gay-
rights advocate — was found
dead in a garage, a suicide.
In 2001, Washington, D.C., postal
worker Thomas L. Morris Jr. died
of inhalation anthrax as offi-
cials began testing thousands of
postal employees.
In 2014, North Korea abruptly
freed Jeffrey Fowle, an Ameri-
can, nearly six months after he
was arrested for leaving a Bible
in a nightclub. Former Washing-
ton Post executive editor Ben
Bradlee, 93, died in Washington.
In 2015, Vice President Joe Biden
announced he would not be
a candidate in the 2016 White
House campaign, solidifying Hil-
lary Rodham Clinton’s status as
the Democratic front-runner.
Ten years ago: Former senator
and 1972 Democratic presidential
candidate George McGovern, 90,
died in Sioux Falls, South Dakota.
A Wisconsin man opened fire
at the Brookfield spa where his
wife worked, killing her and two
others and wounding four other
women before turning the gun
on himself.
Five years ago: The five living
former presidents appeared to-
gether for the first time since
2013 at a concert in Texas to raise
money for victims of devastating
hurricanes.
One year ago: A gun held by
actor Alec Baldwin on a movie
set in New Mexico killed cinema-
tographer Halyna Hutchins and
wounded director Joel Souza.
The House voted to hold Steve
Bannon, a longtime ally and
aide to former President Donald
Trump, in contempt of Congress
after he defied a subpoena from
the committee investigating the
Jan. 6 Capitol insurrection. Pres-
ident Joe Biden, speaking at a
forum hosted by CNN, said the
U.S. was committed to defend-
ing Taiwan if it were to come un-
der attack. Human remains that
were found in a Florida nature
preserve were identified as those
of Brian Laundrie, who’d been a
person of interest in the death of
girlfriend Gabby Petito when the
couple was on a cross-country
road trip.
Today’s Birthdays: Actor Joyce
Randolph is 98. Rock singer Man-
fred Mann is 82. Musician Steve
Cropper (Booker T. & the MG’s) is
81. Singer Elvin Bishop is 80. TV’s
Judge Judy Sheindlin is 80. Actor
Everett McGill is 77. Musician Lee
Loughnane (Chicago) is 76. Actor
Dick Christie is 74. Former Israeli
Prime Minister Benjamin Net-
anyahu is 73. Actor LaTanya Rich-
ardson Jackson is 73. Musician
Charlotte Caffey (The Go-Go’s)
is 69. Movie director Catherine
Hardwicke is 67. Singer Julian
Cope is 65. Rock musician Steve
Lukather (Toto) is 65. Actor Ken
Watanabe is 63. Actor Melora
Walters is 62. Rock singer-musi-
cian Nick Oliveri (Mondo Genera-
tor) is 51. Christian rock musician
Charlie Lowell (Jars of Clay) is 49.
Actor Jeremy Miller is 46. Coun-
try singer Matthew Ramsey (Old
Dominion) is 45. Actor Will Estes
is 44. Actor Michael McMillian is
44. Reality TV star Kim Kardashian
is 42. Actor Matt Dallas is 40. Ac-
tor Charlotte Sullivan is 39. Actor
Aaron Tveit is 39. Actor Glenn
Powell is 34. Country singer Kane
Brown is 29.
Candidates
Continued from A1
The candidates also ad-
dressed ways the unusual
three-way race could play out
to partisan advantage.
Johnson, a longtime Dem-
ocrat until she left the party
last year to run for governor,
refused to accept the premise
that she has no chance of win-
ning, despite being more than
15 points behind front-run-
ners Drazan and Kotek in at
least two recent polls. She said
she “absolutely” won’t con-
sider dropping out even if that
means she is a “spoiler” hand-
ing a victory to Republicans.
Kotek, responding to John-
son’s criticisms that Kotek
had “spoiled” the Democratic
Party by taking it too far left,
implied Johnson’s presence in
the race was clearly increasing
the odds of a Drazan victory.
“We don’t need to take a hard
right turn to put our state back
on track,” Kotek told Johnson.
Drazan accused her two op-
ponents of “having an argu-
ment about what Democrats
should be about” while she
would bring what is best for all
of Oregon — which she sug-
gested would be to have “bal-
ance” brought by a Republican
governor after longtime Dem-
ocratic dominance.
On the subject of how to
fight Oregon’s drug epidemic,
all three said they do not sup-
port mandatory drug treat-
ment in any circumstance.
Johnson said she favors in-
centives to get addicts to un-
dergo treatment, while Kotek
said outreach workers need to
build relationships with ad-
dicted individuals to encour-
age them to turn their lives
around.
At multiple points in the
debate, front-runners Drazan
and Kotek accused each other
of lying.
Kotek accused her oppo-
nents of misrepresenting her
record after Drazan claimed
Kotek was the “original de-
fund the police candidate” and
Johnson contended that Kotek
both walked and sided with
“rioters” during protests in
Portland in 2020. Kotek, who
did not vote to lower a police
All three candidates agreed that homelessness is among
the biggest issues facing the state and said they would
support a so-far bare-bones plan by Portland Mayor Ted
Wheeler to ban unsanctioned camping in the city and
relocate homeless individuals to large designated camping
areas.
budget and who walked with
peaceful racial justice pro-
testers, disputed both claims.
“I think it’s important when
you’re running for governor
that you don’t lie to voters.”
Kotek said there needs to
be more sworn officers in Or-
egon and that the state could
help local police departments
by increasing the number of
classes available to train new
officers. Drazan said commu-
nities are less safe today be-
cause there are fewer police
and said she would ensure the
state police are fully funded.
Johnson said that while she
served in the Legislature, she
ensured that the Oregon State
Police had adequate funding
and faulted Democratic law-
makers for passing legislation
that she said “tied the hands”
of police departments. Most
of the police policies she re-
ferred to limited police tactics
and added accountability for
officer misconduct — reforms
that Kotek praised and Drazan
largely supported.
On education, all three
candidates said Oregon kept
schools closed for too long
during the pandemic, al-
though Drazan and Johnson
said so in starker terms.
To help students catch up,
Johnson said she would listen
to classroom teachers’ ideas,
while Kotek said she helped
pass funding for summer
school and would continue to
support added learning time
for students who need it. Dra-
zan said she would refrain
from closing schools as gov-
ernor and said she advocated
spending more on Oregon
schools but was shot down by
Kotek and other Democrats.
That prompted Kotek and
Drazan to again clash over
claims of dishonesty, with
Kotek pointing out she led
passage of a $1 billion a year
increase in funding for schools
from a tax on business sales
that Drazan voted against.
Drazan accused Kotek of fail-
ing to vote to reopen schools
and instead going shoulder
to shoulder with Gov. Kate
Brown to throw kids “under
the bus” by allowing school
districts to keep schools closed.
A Portland woman con-
cerned about climate change
asked Drazan what she would
do to address emissions from
transportation — the larg-
est single source of carbon
emissions in Oregon. Dra-
zan responded by praising
clean energy technology and
Oregonians who choose to
buy electric vehicles or other
low-emissions options. She
acknowledged a moderator’s
statement that she wants to sus-
pend Oregon’s main policy for
lowering transportation emis-
sions, its clean fuels standard.
The plan requires fuel sup-
pliers to reduce greenhouse
emissions from the products
they sell by 50% by 2035 and
90% by 2050, and Kotek as-
serted, “It’s working.” Drazan
said current high gas prices
are the reason she wants to
waive those requirements for
a time.
When asked during a light-
ning round if Merritt Paulson
should sell the Timbers and
Thorns in the wake of a player
abuse scandal, all three candi-
dates said yes.
At the end of the debate, the
candidates were asked to say
which of their two opponents
they respected more. Kotek
and Drazan, unsurprisingly,
both picked Johnson, while
Johnson picked Kotek — only
to throw shade.
“Ms. Kotek because she has
brought the unbridled use of
power to an art form in push-
ing legislation through the Or-
egon House,” Johnson said.
“That means I’m effective,”
Kotek retorted.
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