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REX MORGAN, M.D.
CAPTAIN EASY
MARY WORTH
ALLEY OOP
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( A CHICK, f0R'3OO!REMEMBERIN6
SUMS GRANDIOSE DREAM5-AND QUE5T10NABIE
4CHEMES-F0R GETTIN6 RJCH IN THE PA5TrM
AJ.W35T AfRAID TO READ HIS UTTER!; '
ARE WE JUST
J COING TO LEAVE )
HIM THKR6? J
wta.i GUESS WE
COULD USE A
STRONG tOUNG
FELLA IN THOSE
,ou era VRONO! .
8Sof
-K new lto started
that .rrul epl;-
eod, the Dorrtme4 Car
wuk BOARDING HOUSE
- . , - ( TLX. TAKfi )( HEBE'6 VJUHV fUTT- I
YOUR TWVCK YVlNHlNSS f ) f0(KCf ADlt WARH
into tHEDPEM MAino )J l-nuce -vXNeeo) You
CAMT A 1 ELtED ( 20 BUCKS (jAOAL$
JreS MoSaRO rT TW 5 TILL PAYDAY) WAT
PIASTER iHATflSSOlSo R3RANE.W YSLACK-
10 NICK VbO MW SAMISEN .SHOe ON Av MAIL
LAST 6ROUNDHO&y Vp? j V I S59
Bitching a rlda aftur leaving
jour apartment, X hailed a traek
bound for this little city! the
Jiamo e truck it as being unnla
Tajtaoiy kiofhetic:
WLV II Z' V WELL, WHAT'S 1 DONT CVJW
NOWf HMAT
with MAJOR HOOPLE
LET ME HAVE THAT PHONE-
LOOK, WD! I OWN THE
AUJ0R1TY OF STOCK IN KXIK
CHAIN i EITHER WO CLEAR,
OUT THAT AVDTEL OK X3ULL.
BE SACK CARRYING PISHES
IN A SUMMER HOTEL fCH CLP
LAPIESi
ID LIKE TO
VISIT MY OLD
BIRTHPLACE
AT SLINGSHOT
MOUNTAIN,
VIRGINIA.
He used fo torfure eyes
with magazines, flashlight
WASHINGTON (UPI) - Almost
anyone can dredge up something
in common with Abraham Lincoln.
By me. it's eyestrain.
As a lad. Lincoln used to punish
his orbs doing his lessons by fire
light. As an adolescent, I used to
torture mine by reading Esquire
magaiine by flashlight
I was forced to resort to make
shift illumination owing to the fact
that Esquire was verboten at our
house. I usually kept a contra
band copy hidden under my
mattress.
After I had ostensibly retired
for the night, I would haul it out,
pull the covers over my head as
a blackout curtain, switch on a
flashlight and spend a tingling
half-hour perusing the "Pretty
girls."
Until you have ogled a "Pretty
girl" by flashlight, you haven't
really lived.
What started these memories vi
brating in my cerebrum was a
news conference held here this
week by Arnold Gingrich, editor
and publisher of Esquire for the
past decade.
Esquire Has Changed
The magazine has chanced a
lot since those days, however. Gin
grich has transformed it from the
Bagffibufe-
Memorial Day, and always,
i
let us honor our
heroic dead by pledging '
ourselves ever to
preserve the liberty of
free men for which
they gave so much.
This Advertisement
Sponsored By The
B C CAFE
Corner of 3rd (V Franklin
Open 6 A.M. Til 10 P.M.
ammorial
FARM FRESH EGGS
and POULTRY
Always Leek For The Oreen
and White Sign ef Freshness
CENTRAL OREGON
GROWN
Bend Egg &
740 E. 1st
pin-up catalog of my youth into
a sort of training manual for Mad
ison Avenue lntellectualism.
He called the news conference
to discuss an article In the cur
rent issue entitled "Sex and the
Supreme Court." It deals with the
court's decisions oa censorship
cases.
By taking a liberal attitude to
ward sex in books, art and drama,
the justices opened the floodgates
to a flow of four-letter words,
Gingrich observed.
But, he added, this In turn, with
paradoxical effect. Is promoting a
"puritan revolution" in American
literature.
It is Glnrich's theory that so
much emphasis on the clinical de
tails of sex has caused readers
to become blase toward, or bored
with, play-by-play accounts of
boudoir antics.
As a result, according to Ging
rich, the trend now among im
portant new novelists is to return
to the old practice of Just setting
the stage.
He is convinced that the "na
tural censorship of taste1 will
force other writers to abandon the
"fashionably dirty" school and de
velop styles that offer more than
graphic descriptions.
Already, he said, a Paris pub
lisher who specializes In shocking
books has complained that such
books don't shock any more.
What once was shocking is now
taken for granted,'' Gingrich said.
"And what once seemed demure
now seems daring by contrast."
It remains to be seen whether
Gingrich's theory is sound, but I
was intrigued by his comment
about demurcness becoming dar
ing. I think 1 11 get out my flash
light and reread "Girl of the Llm-
berlost"
Drunks turned
out at LA.
LOS ANGELES (UPI (Police
have released all 277 drunk pris
oners from jail because a city
law under which they were ar
rested was recently Invalidated
by the California Supreme Court.
Police said many of the drunk
prisoners didn't want to leave
jail and appeared on the verge
of tears as they wandered out
Into the streets.
"A lot of them like it in jail."
one jailor said. "They get three
square meals a day and have a
place to sleep. But It won t sur
prise me if a lot of them get
thrown back in tomorrow."
Your next trip te the
t store pick up the sure
sign of fresh
ness FARM
. FRESH EGGS and
CENTRAL OREGON
CROWN FRYERS.
Poultry Co.
Ph. 382-1042
most people
do better at
PACIFIC
INVESTMENT
F HOME LOANS f
I ... as low as 5'i .' I
I ... as long at 30 years 1 J
I ... up to 75 of appraised value
1032 Wall 382-1421
Th. Bulletin, Wednesday,
"Ask yourself why Harry Manning; consistently tops
hi quota! Because Harry won't take - t
NO for an answer." "
You can't patent an item
described in
By Harry Ferguson
UPI Staff Writer
(Last ef Three)
WASHINGTON (UPI)-A favor-
ite story at the U.S. Patent Of
fice is about the man who walked
In, put a sliver of wood on the
desk and said he wanted a patent
on the toothpick.
He didn't get it because of a
special provision in the patent
laws. You cannot obtain a patent
on something that has been pub
licly described in a newspaper, a
magazine or a book. The tooth
pick has been described so many
times that a patent never has
been Issued on it and never will
be.
But if you can come up with
some variation on the toothpick,
you can get a patent, and there
is one on the market now. It is
described as a "tooth space
cleanser and gum massager .
You dampen the piece of wood,
stick it between your teeth and
Boating mishap
claims children
STEVENSON, Wash. (UPI) .
One child drowned and another
was missing and presumed drown
ed in the deep waters of Swift
Reservoir northwest of here.
Mitchell James 4, drowned when
an 18-foot cabin cruiser capsized.
His sister, Theresa, 2, was miss
ing. Skin divers resumed a search
for her body today, I
The Skamania County Sheriffs
office said the boat, with seven
persons aboard, tipped over about
7:30 p.m. Tuesday.
The victims were the children
of Robert James, 22, and Mary
Ann James, 21, who survived.
Other survivors were Frances
James, 42; Frederick Davis, 43,
and Sharon Blankenship, 11. All
were of Woodland, Wash.
Sheriffs deputies said the two
children were apparently trapped
In the cabin of the boat.
BOLT HITS CYCLIST
GRENOBLE, France (UPI) -Angela
Frangiamone, 42, driving
his motor scooter during a storm,
was hit by lightning Tuesday
and knocked into telephone cables
10 feet above the ground.
Police cut him down a short
time later. Ho was hospitalized
with shock.
13
CARNIVAL
public print
massage the gums.
Patent Office officials long ago
ceased to be surprised at the
things people invent. It is not the
function of the office to pass on
the economic potential of an in
vention, but merely to determine
whether it is novel or new.- A
farmer who obtained a patent! on
a pair of spectacles for a near
sighted rooster got the same
courteous consideration as Alex
ander Graham Bell did whcn'.he
Invented the telephone.
Many Strange Patents
But over the years some
strange things have been
patented:
A fly swatter pistol. When
you pull the trigger, a long
spring in the barrel uncoils and
hits the fly on the wall. v
A grape fruit shield. It Is a
plastic shield which is placed
over the sliced half of a grape
fruit, but is enough smaller than
the grapefruit to allow a person
to use a spoon. When the juice
flies up, it hits the shield instead
of going Into your eye. ,
A woman's hat that blows
soap bubbles. A tube runs from
the hat to a bulb which the lady
holds in her hand. She can win
friends and influence people at
any time merely by pressing the
bulb and a large soap bubble will
float out of her hat . . .
A labor saving device for
children in cold climates called
a snowball machine." The child
packs a tube with snow, presses
a plunger, removes the cap of
H18 lube and anowball pops out.
A spoon made out of pastry.
When a child is through using
the spoon, he eats it. . . ,i
Inventor Poor Judge
An Inventor frequently Is a
poor judge of the potential of
what he has made. Joseph F.
Glidden of De Kalb, 111., appar
ently had no great hopes when
he received patent No. 157,124 in
1874 for something he described
as "an improvement in wire
fences." What he had invented
was barbed wire and the ranch
ers on the Plains bought it as fast
as it could be produced.
Ellas Howe, who was working
In a machine shop In Cambridge,
Mass., was a victim of public
indifference. He invented the sew
ing machine. People were so un
impressed that Howe did not
bother to patent it in the United
States, but sailed for England in
search of backers. A corset man
ufacturer bought the English pat
ent from him and hired him to
manufacture the machines.
Four years later Howe returned
to the United States and found
that people were pirating his in
vention all over the country. He
entered upon one of the longest
scries ot litigation In this nation
snd won every suit he filed.
Howe died a millionaire, but
his unhappy experience had dona
something to him. To the very
day he died he kept building
small, queer machines. Nobody,
including Howe, could figure out
how they could possibly be of
any use. -
stum
ITOPS IN QUALITVIi
May 29, 1963
11 11 ' ' '
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