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About Newberg graphic. (Newberg, Or.) 1888-1993 | View Entire Issue (Aug. 13, 1908)
.1 «n- # 4 4* î - 'V A Bad B re ak . W lfa — W hy did you glva that pbon- Ofraph aw ay Just before we were mar ried? Didn’t you think I could use Itl Husband— My dear, I gars It away to keep peace. Don’t you know that no bouae ia big enough fo r tw o talking machines? And at the last report he was still trying to square himself.— D etroit Free Press. The ; Général Demand o f the W ell-Inform ed o f the W orld haa alw ays been fo r a simple, pleasant and efficient liquid laxative rem edy of known value; a laxative which phyal clans could sanction for fam ily use because its component parts are known to them to be wholesome and truly beneficial la effect, acceptable R M o fa lllo a . to the system and gentle, yet prompt, •The men who devote their time to the country's service should be recog In action. nised,” said the official. > In supplying- that demand w ith its “ W ell,” answered Fanner Corntaasel, excellen t combination o f Syrup of “ some o f 'em should and others 'ud be Figs and E lixir o f Senna, the Cali more respected I f they could approach fornla F ig Syrup Co. proceeds along the payroll In disguise.” — Washington ethical lines and relies on the merits Btar. ___________________ o f the la xa tive fo r Its remarkable success. Leas L a v is h * * * ,. •D o you think your Insurance com • T h at Is one o f many reasons why pany la being conducted more econom Syrup o f F igs and E lixir o f Senna la ically?" given the preference by the W ell- “ I ’m si*p o f It,” answered the hope Informed. T o ge t Its beneficial effects ful cltlsen. “ It doesn't send me nearly alw ays buy the* genuine— manufac as many blotters and calendars as It tured by the California F ig 8yrup Co., used to.” — Washington Star. only, and fo r sale by ail leading druggists. P r ie s 'fifty cents per bottle. tJ a e le A lle m . T v e observed one thing about a foot race,” said Uncle Alien Sparks. “ I f you've H U B u y D sy, got any money up on the result it always “ Ethel,” he whispered, “ w ill yon mar turns .out differently from what you think ry me?" * it’s t,Vng to.” “ I don't know, Charles," ahe replied, coyly. N o t U n i t e t h e S aa a e . “ W ell, when you find o u t " he said, Mias Bute— H e told me once that I rising, “ send me word, w ill you? I was quite pretty. shall be at Mabel Hicks’ until 10 Miss Cbellua— Yes, be also told mo o’clock. I f I don’t bear from you by that you were quite pretty— once.— 10 I ’m going to ask her.” — Tld-Blts. Philadelphia Press.__________ O af A great extension of the Siberian rail road Is proposed along the River Amur, and as it has met with hearty approval on the part of the present ministry, it Is like ly to be constructed. It will open np 40,- 000,000, acres of corn land. Bute ol Ohio, City o f Toledo 1 Lucas County. J Frank J. <hai>ey stakes oath that he Is senior partner of the Arm ol F. J. Cheney A Co., d o ln f bus i n cm i n t he City o f Toledo, County and S U te aforesaid, and that said Arm w ill pay the sura o f O N I H U N D R E D D O LLAR S for each and evary ease o f Catarrh that cannot be eared by the uee of H ell's Catarrh Cure, __ ^ FRANK J. C H E N E Y . Sworn to before me and subacrlbea In my p m - encs, this 6th day of December A D 1886. / b m ] t A . W . QLKABON, _ N o u r y Public. H a ll’s Catarrh Cure la taken internally, and acts directly upon the blood and m ucousaur- laces o f the system. Send lo r testimonials free. F. J. C H K N E Y A CO., Toledo, O. Sold by all druggists, 75c. Taka H a ll’s Fam ily P ills for constipation. R e a c tio n . Salesman— Hat, sir? Yes; what kind do yon wish to look at? Customer— Well, my wife wears a Mer ry Widow affair. I f you have something that Is the exact opposite of It, young man, that's what I want. Salesman— Then you want a plug hat, of course, with a black band around It. That ia the nearest we can come to a Disconsolate Widower hat.—-Chicago Tribune. G ave It Vp. Own M in s t r e ls . Bonas— Mist ah Johns ing. kin yo’ tell me de dilTunce ’tween de dipplymatic inte’co'se o’ fust class powahs an’ nine cases o’ measles in a cullud fambly? Interlocutor— No, Oeorge; that’s the hardest one I ever heard. What ia the difference between the diplomatic inter course of first class powers and nine cases of measles in a colored family? Bonea— De one am de serious affairs of state an' de uddah am a serious state of affairs. Interlocutor— Ladles and gentlemen, the premier vocalist o f the western hemi sphere, Mr. 8plitcher Reerdruma, will now sing the beautiful ballad entitled, “ Darling, Take Your Arm A w a y : Moth er Ia Peeping Through the Keyhole.” A D e lic io u s C u s ta r d . The recipe for this delicate dessert has been banded down In my fam ily fo r many generations: Into each Indi vidual custard cup put the yolk o f one egg, add one heaping teaapoonfui o f sugar, tw o gratings o f nutmeg and five tablespoonfuls o f sweet milk. Incorpo rate thoroughly and set the cups in a pan o f hot water. Bake In a moderate oven until firm. When cool, cover with a meringue, using the whites o f the eggs fo r this purpose, and allow one tableapoonful o f powdered sugar to the white o f each egg. Through the very tiptop o f each snowy mound drop a teaspoonful o f orange marmalade.— De lineator. “ Uncle Henry, how big a tarpon did you ever catch?” “ Why. Sammy, once I — but how big a B w t N e v e r C a ll H is s K a r t ? . tarpon did you ever hear of?” H e— Funny thing about your sex. “ Seven feet ten inches ia the record.” Call a woman “ a bird” and abe’a pleas “ I ’ m not going to try to beat that, Sam ed. But call her a hen or an old crow my. I have only a few years to lira, and and ahe gets angry. I want to go to heaven some day.” She— Nothing exclusively feminine about that. Cull a man “ a sad dog” A F in a n c ie r . Judge— n ow many times have you and be feels good. But call him “ a miserable cur” — the same thing— and been arrested before? he'll knock your head off.— Boston Prisoner—Five, air. Judge— Then I shall feel It my duty Tran script to Impose the maximum fine----- ” K n e w O w e o f t h e F ir m . Prisoner— But. your honor. Isn’t It Attendant (Showing him through the only fa ir to give a reduced rate to reg structure)— This house it built on what ular customers?— Judge. ia known aa the “ alow combustion” plan. Mr. Pneuritch— Ah, yea; I think I Forestry In Korea Is to be taken up by know Slocum. 1 have seen him at the the government under new forest laws, club; but I have never bad the pleasure said to have been enarted under « co-op of meeting Mr. Buation.— Chicago Trih- erative agreement drawn up by Japan and Korea. It ia also reported that a school for training Korean foresters has been establiahed. P rem atu re. Brazilian railroads in operation a* the beginning of last year had a total length of 10,776 miles. In addition there were 1,002 miles under construction and 4,177 miles being surveyed or already approved, making the total mileage about 10,855 miles. Husband (on overland train )— You mustn't mind It, Maria, if I take several doses of spirits during the day, from now on. It ’s the only thing that will cut this S aved b y T o m ato es. alkali dust that gets into one’s throat. John Vaughn o f Mercervllle, a rural W ife— You won’t have to do it to-day, John. I ’ ve been making some inquiries, letter carrier, was driving along a road and I find we don't strike the alkali re when an auto plunged into his light rig from behind. Vaughn was tossed In the gion for 000 miles yet. a ir to alight in a load o f tomatoes in a A a R e v is e d . wagon twenty feet abend. Ills rig was Ball on, sail on, O ship of state! demolished, but the soft tomatoes saved Portland cemented, strong and great! him from serious injury. The squash Humanity need have no fears; ing o f the tomatoes did not save Thou’lt go unoracked through all the Vaughn from the ire o f the wagon’s years. owner. The driver o f the automobile W ith rocky sides Imperforate 1 sped on with a grin.— Kansas City — Chicago Tribune. Journal. The W is e M ew . “ A fte r all. It’s the wise man who can change his opinion.” “ But the wisest men simply can’ t do it” “ W hy not?" “ Because they’ve been dead for yeara.” — Catholic Standard and Times. Ia tk i C o w e r*«* A w e- First Government Officer (a few year* hence)— Anything particular on hand to day? Second Government Officer— Yea; I ’vs got to go this afternoon to take part in the molding of the corner stons for n new battleship. , CONTAINS • NO M E R C U R Y A MAN IS THE MAKRO. The story o f Skaggles— as it Is told by a w riter In the Associated Sunday Magazines— Is very simple, but It goes straight to that spot lu the heart that is always w aiting to respond to the brave and sweet things o f life. Skaggloa was not bis name. Some one gave him that title the third day after he took the Job. I t was finally curtailed to “ Skag.” When be first came to the office he fitted like a mouse s tall In a well ; but be had an old look— the look o f a burden beyond bis years. H e was wan and pale, and bis nose was red every time be came in from the weath er. H is shoes and stockluga were ven tilated beyond endurance to anybody except a boy. But Skag was a faithful worker— a t firs t Bright and early be swept the office and dusted the desks— that is, lined the duster— aud by eight o'clock he was over In bla corner, bis hair plas tered back and bis face washed, save fo r the high-water mark about his neck. But by degrees Skag's enthusiasm ovsr his new position languished. The clerks complained o f unemptied waste baskets and dusty desks. It was also noticed that Skag’a clothes were daily growing more shabby, bis hair longer, his shoes more run over, and it was evident that his mind was not on bùi work. A reprimand from the “ boas” had the desired effect. H e became more punc tual, took more Interest In hia work, aeemed cheery, and sometimes whistled a little. But Skag’s work was spas modic. I t was not long before he was aa bad aa ever. Hla work lagged, he was alow about getting round mornings, and hla interest— outwardly, at least—• was o f the wooden Indian variety. The crowning and final teat o f endurance on the part o f the office force came when be went to sleep In hla chair. “ Skag, come h ere!” I t waa the boss. Skag shuffled Into the manager’s private office, and sat on the edge o f a chair, nervoua and fidgety. Th e boss did not speak fo r a minute— hla w ay o f Impressing a cul prit. “ Skag, this thing baa gone fa r enough! You are not paying attention to your work: Look at the dust on my desk— It’a frightful. T h is la Monday. I'll give you Juat-one week. Saturday winds you up unless you come out o f that trance. Th at’s all.” Skag sniffed and shuffled back to hla chair, where he tugged at the seam on bis trousers and gazed vacantly out o f the window. Th e next morning the office fa irly glistened, and all through the week bis work Improved. Th e stenographer even discarded her work sleeves, her desk was so clean. But no one noticed that Skag's face was growing thinner and hla eyelids more drooping. Saturday night, after five o'clock, Skag stayed and cleaned up the office. He would be that much ahead when Monday came. Monday morning the office was as clean as a Dutch kitchen, but there was no Skag. Noon arrived, and still no Skag, at which the boss waxed wrathy. “ Jones, go up to the kid's house and see what the trouble la T ell him If be can’t get here by two o’clock, he needn't come at all.” When Jones returned he went Into the manager's private office and closed the door. Later he came out with a long sheet o f paper In his hand. The boss had headed the list with twenty- five dollars. “ W hat brought It on?" asked the stenographer. “ Exposure, and not enough to keep body and soul together. The kid’s been Sitting up nights with her for a month. Funeral’s Wednesday.” Skag Is still working. He wears a new suit, and the high-water mark round his neck has disappeared. And they do not call him Skaggles now. They call him by his right name. P r a c t le ln n ; by R ie h t K in d of a G ir l. W edderly— Can the girl you are en gaged to swim? Singleton— I don’t know. But why do you ask? M edicines co n ta in in g M ercu ry are often g iv e n to persona su ffe rin g w ith W edderly— Because If she can you C on ta giou s Blood Poison, and so p o w erfu l is the action o f this d ru g that it ought to be happy. A girl who can awiin fre q u e n tly rem oves the sym ptom s in a sh ort w h ile, and shuts the disease can keep her mouth shut— Buffalo Com u p in the system to d o grea ter dam age to th e delicate in tern al members. mercial. W h e n , h ow ever, th e treatm ent is le ft o ff, th e disease a lw a y s returns, and the A F a lS Ilm e n t . atieu t finds that h is health haa been in ju red b y th is pow erfu l m in eral, and e is often le ft w ith w eak stom ach, disturbed d igestion , m ercurial rheuma They oatd he’d make hla mark 'mongst men, tism , etc. T h e action o f S. S. S. is e n tire ly differen t. I t contain s n o M ercu ry, n or a n y oth er h arm fu l dru g, but is m ade e n tire ly o f h ea lin g , I t waa a prophecy profound. c lea n sin g roots and herbs. I t cures C on ta giou s Blood Poison b y re m o v in g H e bought himself a fountain pen t h e v iru s from th e blood. I t searches o u t e v e ry p a rticle o f the poison And when he shook It now and then and does n ot lea ve the least trace fo r fu tu re outbreaks. S. S. S., in Made marks, on every one aronndl addition to cu rin g th £ disease, bu ilds u p and strength en s e v e ry p a rt o f the — Washington Star. body. Ita fin e to n ic effects ton e n p the stom ach and d igestion , im p ro ve the When a locality la rathar abort on a p p etite and regu late the en tire system . H o m e treatm ent book co n ta in in g va lu a b le in form ation about th e d ifferen t stages o f th e disease and a n y other resources. It la pretty apt to lay m ed ica l ad vice desired sent free to a ll w ho w rite. claim to a remarkably healthful d i THE SWIFT SPECIFIC CO., ATLANTA, GA, cta te S / ALL RUN DOWN. H la P a t le a t . Ambassador Wu Tin g Fang waa once. It la alleged, telling about a certain ■elfish politician. He said : “ The man pletely Lost H e r H ealth, Fou n d reminds me o f a doctor o f Shanghai. A R e lie f fro m P e-ru -n a at One*. mandarin came to this doctor fo r ad vice. He could not sleep, had no appe tite, suffered a good deal from depres sion and nevertheless waa taking on ISS D E L L A S TR O E B E , 710 R loh-, fa t at an alarming rate. ‘ W e’ll aoon mond St., Appleton, W ls., w rites s put you In condition again,’ said the “ F o r several years I was in a run physician. ‘W hat you need la exercise down condition, and J could find no re — good, hard exercise. Four times a lie f from doctors and medicines. I week you can come here and put In the could not en joy m y meals, and could morning polishing my floors.' ‘But why not sleep at n igh t. I had heavy, dark not my own floors?’ the mandarin In Circles about the eyes. quired. *Miue,’ said the physician, ‘are “ M y friends w ere much alarmed. I larger.’ ” was advised to g iv e Psruna a trial, and A R a b b it a i l a W h is t le . to m y jo y I began to im prove w ith the Did you know that a abort, sharp first bottle. A fte r taking s ix bottles I fe lt com pletely cured. I cannot say too whistle from the mouth would atop a j much for Peruna aa a medicine fo r rabbit? It surely does. Next time you j see little M olly Cottontail leap from her women in a run-down condition.“ burrow and make off don’t shoot; juat ■ Pe-ru-na Did Wonder». whistle. Whether from fear or curios- ; Mrs. Judge J. F . B oyer, 1421 Sherman ity I cannot tell, but she w ill stop still A ve., Evanston, 111., aaya that she be In her tracks. An antelope has been came run down, could neither cat nor sleep w ell, and lost flea h and spirt t. P e known to do likewise. An African ru na did wonders for her, and she thanks hunter once said that the elephant is the most timid o f all animals and can Peruna for new life and strength. be frightened Into a cold sweat by a mysterious nolae.— New York Press. M ist D ella Stroebe, who had Com Read IVhat She Says . M f-IOW AKD E. B Ü R T O S , - a Mayer a r i Cham I at. LBffidvill«, Colonula 6________ Leadville, Colorado* specimen _____ prices: Gold, Silver, • L ad, ------- f 1 ; Gold, ---- Hll ver. 7òc ; ~ Gold, 4d,r 60c ; “ Zinc * or Cepper, fcL Cyanide Mailla* ;em envelope« end ontr___, __ Um- Sill price list sent on application. Control and pire work solicited, lieferenoet Carbonate N a Louai. ' When the H dir Falls Then it’s time to set! No time to study, to read, to experi ment! You want to save your hair, and save it quickly, too! So make up your mind tbis very minute that if your hair ever comes out you will use A yer’s Hair Vigor. It makes the scalp healthy. The hair stays in. It cannot do any thing else. It’s nature’s way. M lié T h * h o s t k in d o f • t e s t im o n ia l— “ S o l d tor o v e r s i x t y y e a r s .” » ^ . t L ^ w C e ^ U evU , K y _ yers im . SAKSAFMBUA PILLS. CHERRY PECTORAL. D e e p S en A m e n i t i e s . s t. V ito .' D u e . u d orvoo. u i m . w ( I f M atty t i n . by Dr. 1 >M 't G iea t Narva Re- The Oyster— You’re a good deal itorer. Sand for FSZS U N tria l bottle and traatlee. customer thad I am. Dr. R a . U ln a , L d , H I A n k S t.. Philadelphia. Fa. m tougher The Clam— That’s all right. You do a good deni crook eder shell game than I do. N e c e s s a ry F o r m a lit y . Mrs. Ferguson— George, what do you A B it o f A d v ic e . have to do when you want to draw some This ia a bit o f advice oifcred by th* money oot of a bank? ARRANGE TO STOP AT Mr. Ferguson— You have to pat some Gunnison G azette: money in the bank beforehand. That’* Young man. I f you should come always been my experience. across a girt who, with a face aa radi PARK AND ALDER STS. Mother, w fll find Mr*. Winslow** Soothing ant aa a sunflower, aaya as you appear A New and Modern European Hotel Caterina Byrup the best remedy to um las their ehH drta at the door, *1 will be busy fo r half an particularly to State people. A refined place for lu r in g th* teething period. hour yet, fo r the dishea are not wash Indie, visitine th. city. clo.. to th . ahopplns ed,” juat aquat right down on the door (■ t a r . Rat m r w o n . U . F ro . Bui. In th * L ite ra ry W o rk s h o p . “ Brooks,” said Rivers, who had been step and w ait for her, because some «. L CUSS, (Ml If M M MM) Mr. struggling desperately with an ides for other chap may come along and seen re more than half an honr, “ give me a rhyme the prize, and right there you wUl have for ‘perfunctory.’ " loot an angel. “ Sorry, old man,” answered Brooks; “ but there isn't any." Douglas County Farm in the heart “ Dash it !” exclaimed Rivers. oi tne famous Shoestring Valley. Thereupon he proceeded to do It la S ixty acres— 45 acres c'eared; 15 blanket? blank verse. acres fir tim ber; soil rich and mel low; no rocks; achoolhouse § mile; on county road; running w ater; well; over 300 bearing fru it trees; 6-room log house, bam and other out-buildings; tw o miles o f fence; IS O U R M O TTO full assortment farm implements; Said an Em ployer: “ Stick to quality. all house furnishings; all crops. I t w ill win oat in the e n d ." We de Must sell, Price fo r everything. $2,500. Address "stick to quality.” That is the reason our graduates are so thorough and in MRS. O. A. DEARING such demand. Investigate our claim * to Room 419, Corbett Bldg., Portland, Ora superiority. Catalogue, business forms Now 33 —OB P N U and penwork free. Call, phone or write. WHEN YOU COME TO PORTLAND THE CORNELIUS A Rare Bargain w r itin g to t d v n t l M n p lM M m e n tio n t b i s p a p e r . th en ' S t. Helen’s Hall, Portland, O r. Résidant and Day School for Catalogno on Request N o C a u se (o r A la r m . “ Look, officer!” shouted the excited citizen. “ T h a t big department store ia a fire !” “ W hat makes you think ao?” asked the officer, calmly. “Why, don’t you see ail those wom an shoppers coming down the fire es capes ?” ‘ Oh, yes; but that la not the sign o f fire. You aee, they can’t get through the revolving doors with those big hats.” Portland Business College Girls. T en th and M orrison, Portland. O reg o n A P . A R M S T R O N G . L L . B.. P R I N C I P A L B U S IN E S S COLLEGE PORTLAN D. OREGON BEHNKE-WALKER STUDENTS SUCCEED. WHY? Thar ara Trained for boaiaam in a buainaaa-Hka w ar. W hy not enroll in a reputable school that placea all of ita rmdoataa? N o I t r a a a e r to T h a t. Mr*. Highmu*— I suppose at some time in your life you struggled with the Nibe- lungenlied? Mrs. Gaawell— O, yea; I had an awful aiege of that in *93. I had to take all . kinds o f nasty medicine* before I got it out o f my system. L M. W A L K E R . Free. SEND FOR C A TA LO G U E a A. BOSS ER R A N . See. K ld a a n d G o ata. Dottle— O-ooh! What'a thla pic- , ture? Tomm y— Th at’s CapL K idd an’ hla b y Boftentad the w ate r, d e e a a the akin thorou gh ly, r t n e ve a band o’ piruts. . o d o r o f p erspiration an d ren d ers th * akin s o ft an d velvety. Dottle— An’ which ia Capt. Kidd? A ll dealers. Sample Borax. Booklet and Laca Centerpiece design on cloth Tomm y— W ’y, th’ guy with th' ready to work, 10c, of PACIFIC COAST BORAX CO., Oakland, Cal. goatee, o' course!— Cleveland Leader. Local axents wanted. Write for money maklnx plan. MULE TEAM BORAX B ar. When G rover Cleveland was practic ing law In Buffalo one o f hla friends was a lazy young law yer who was for ever pestering him with questions about legal points that he could Just as well hnve looked up fo r TilmSelf. Even Cleveland’s patience had an end. One day as his friend antered he remarked : "There are my books. Help yourself to them. You can look up your owu case." Th e laay law yer stared at him In amazement "See here, G rover Cleveland.’’ he said Indignantly. “ I want you to under stand that you and your old books can go to thunder. You know very well that I don’t read law. I practice en tirely by ear.” — Everybody’s Magazine. The -I W o r h la a lil A LC O H O L 3 P E R CENT. AMgelabkRvparffionfirAs sirailaiingtteFbodaniiRfftjia ling (lie SiomadB andßowdsi I nfants /C hildren Promotes DigwItonJChenfi* n ess and RretXontains neither Opium .Morphine nor Mineral. n o t sai N a r c o t ic . «. a — — —— A p r^ o h H k O M a zm a a Aqaba Sad“ M ir * A perfect Remedy for Constipa Mon. Sour Stonach.Dlarrtioo Worms jConvulsionsffvmsh ness and Loss OF S leep . T he K in d Y o u H ave A lw ays B ough t, and which has been in use fo r over 3 0 years, has borne the signature o f and has been m ade under his p e r- r Bonal supervision since its infancy. A llo w no one to deceive you In this. A ll Counterfeits, Im itations and “ Jnst-as-good” are b at Experim ents that trifle w ith and endanger the health o f Infants and Children—Experienee against Experim ent, What Is CASTORIA Castoria is a harm less substitute fo r Castor Oil, P a re goric, D rops and Soothing Syrups. I t is Pleasant. It contains neither Opium , M orphine n or other Narcotic substance. Its age is its guarantee. I t destroys W orm s and allays Feverishness. I t cures Diarrhoea and W in d Colic. I t relieves Teething Troubles, cures Constipation and Flatulency. I t assimilates the Food, regulates the Stomach and Bow els, giving healthy and natural sleep. The Children’s Panacea—The M other’s Friend. G EN U IN E CASTORIA ALWAYS Bears the Signature of The Sanie Silurare of ¿ & 0 B 3 fc NEW YORK. A lb months old J 5 D o s ts -J 5 C W S b u a ra n U à J ü ô S ri Copy o f Wrapper. The Kind You Have Always Bought In Use For Over 3 0 Years