Newberg graphic., June 08, 1905, Image 3

ale and your blood it thin.
our doctor s a y s yo u I r e
th rea te n ed wi t h • nervous
breakdown. He orders this
grand old family medicine.
m» » b*ni*.
I lU r m W i.
fo r
Weak Nerves
K »fep th e b o w e ls regu lar w ith A ye r’s
PUls, Just o n e pill e a c h n igh t.
O epM D efeated.
-repents at bachelor, with suite a
pile ef rocks.
Dropped la. one day, beaide the way,
aad bought a pair of seeks.
Arrived st heme— romantic Jeyl— be
wend’ringly drew out
A sake deep hidden in the keae— from
fair hand, no doubt 1
“ I ’m Sweaty years e f age,“ it read, “ and
sailed a country belle.
-v
Wish yen I ’d like to correspond— If yen
win never tell.
My ebjeet matrimony is, and yours, I
,
hope, the same.
I f Jou’U address me, I ’ll respond.“ And
she wrote her name.
Qa lee with heps, the bachelor that very
sensing wrote,
*
And folded Us epistle with a Idas Inside
Ike note.
Sly tep id had him la his meek—as very
elevar catch,
Fa% after all, quite foolish is p half
sepeataat bach.
sheepish did he feel, when
from the fuir unknown
This saewer came, to queech his lame:
“ Aa eld maid I have grown
*twaa forty years ago I planned
that fond surprise,
by a heartless wretch who
oaldn’t advertise!”
■ b o o k f o r th e L a w y e r .
A well-known lawyer e f this city,
wkese office Is located dose to the
city kail, received a tremendous shock
the ether day. He wus counsel for a
maa charged with larceny, and, a t the
evidence was conclusive, he advised
hie silent to plead guilty.
“ Yea kaow that yon have a bad rec­
ced aad yen have practically confessed
your guilt,” said the lawyer In a sooth-
la g manner, “ and yon wUl he sentenc­
ed to a bent three years In JalL“
This teat sentence completely gum
founded the prisoner, but after he hud
locked about his cell for several min­
utes he turned to his attorney and in a
very serious manner said: “ W ill you
khudly go out and get me a good law-
r » T ,\
** A s soon as the lawyer recovered
from the shock he told the prisoner be
would argue the case for him.— Phils-
'
?
"'fl — *'i r , m
Sarsaparilla
1
V
- ..... -I— n -ir r ~Mimgr*"
When the nerves are weak
everything goes wrong. You
are tired all the time, easily
discouraged, n e rv o u s, and
irritable. Y o u r cheeks are
I m t ea a Perm Was Located
Inaldo a Potato.
A Scarborough gentleman was aur-
prlsed recently to find thirty-eight pins
stead at Birmingham, that living was to **• breagfast egg, and moat other
no cheaper in England than In the People would hgve been surprised, too,
United States, haring been questioned Buder tae circumstances. There ought
H «— Would you rather be protty er by certain authorities In tola country. * • * > • » collection e f miraculous eggs
Witty? She— Sir!— New York Sun.
be has made a supplementary report ■‘»■»•where. It waa only two years
* ken laid an egg at Bed-
The eeel man ehould be brought to on the ■object
subject to the state depart- i B* °
see the srrer e f his weighs.— Philadel­ _____ Prom this It appears that the :ford wlUl ■ P «nn? U» lt- There is ae
phia
original statement was based on t h e , • • • * • » »U
the fact, but the
question, “ H ew did the penny get la-
“ Does Mr. Reuben Haybrlck keep ex peri once e f certaiu American tub#
aide the egg?" has aevsr bean quits
“ H e takes' ’em, but he welders working In the Birmingham
satisfactorily settled.
district
The
statement
caused
much
S e a t keep ’em.” — Chicago Chronicle.
A comparison pusale is afforded by
■Qa— H e cemes o f good family, surprise, as it was contrary to the • market gardener, w ell known at
general understanding. One
hat Stalls Tea, he’s the only
i t — T o w n Per urged that If living In Great B rit­ ■pita 111 elds market, who once lest and
I know
ain waa not appreciably cheaper thaa feuad a half crews under almost in­
credible circumstances. H e was in­
_ .
_
, « ___
, In the United States th e n was
M ir a y "Ta, is it wrong to steal
(gy protecting the highly paid specting his crepe when be dropped
am a trust? Johnny's P a - D e n t let i L E L ^ r o r t m a n ! ^ Consul Hal- the h alf e r e w i en the ground, and
though be searched long and diligent­
b#* * r ^
,0a- “ ' • u s e d says that that is net a .
L e d i-r-
I fo r tym to decide. H e adds that that ly, he searched la vain. A year passed
tefter a table d’hote)— > paper's proposition to lowOr the scale aad the incident was bring forgotten,
A aytolag else, wetter? W a ite r-O n e o f living o f the American workingman when, aa he waa selecting seme pota­
meso pea oh. air, and yen'll ’ave eat had better be addressed to the Amerl- toes for the market, Mr. Bmlth came
acres« en# e f a vary curious shape.
• e maun.— London Bystander.
can workingman direct.
“ Day ain't as rich thing aa gttttaf
“ I only state a very plain fa c t “ says Cutting It ope* to discover the cause
married ta heaven.” “ Genre« dey ain’t Mr. Halstead, “ that I f the English of Its eccentricity, the gardener found
Don’t do Bible toil yea It's a place or' workingman llvtd aa w ell aa blsAm er- Inside it the half-crown piece he h id
paaee ea root?“ — Atlanta Constitution. loan brother workingman hie living lost twelve months before. The po­
tato was aeen by hundreds o f people,
Mrs. H*ttarson— I didn’t see you at expenses would be aa great or great­
and the truth e f the story Is well
er
than
the
living
expenses
o
f
the
the lecture on “Th e Simple l i f e . ” Mrs.
vouched for.
Cuttorsea— Why, ae; I had no Idea It American. Surely there is nothing ob­
Remarkable aa they are, there la
going to be such a swell affair.— jectionable in stating a fact so plain nothing unique In these cases. One
and
as
easily
verified.
Everybody
_ L ife.
knows that the American ororkman Is, e f the romances o f money-making la
W ife— I t la ao kind o f yon to put on
by comparison, highly paid. I can the story e f a man who found a news­
my beete for me. Kneeling Husband
only state the fact that the English paper Inside a shark when fishing in
(tugging away)— It’s a— a— pleasure,
workman cannot and doea not live ae AostraHa in 1170, and who learned the
my dear. Still, I'm glad you're net a
w ell ae the American. It ia within news e f the Franco-German w ar in
centipede.— Pick-Me-Up.
„ ___ ___
my knowledge that the majority of this way early enough to make a for­
Mtaa Bitor Ooold yen use anything peopj# In the United States believe tune ent e f l t The story may be true
everybody ia
Australia
ia yeur “ Household Department’* th e that living ia much cheaper abroad or sot;
— ¿»*—
week? Ovontry Editor— Ye*, w e could than at home, and it seams to me . Knows i t ---------- --------- ■—
Another after the same kind is that
bandit a ceuple o f dozen o f fresh eggs therefore that I might w ell supplement
nicely.— New York Times.
the statement o f tpooe American work­ e f the M ilford Haven trawler which,
“ What conclusion does that cam­ men who, It must be understood, have while fishing off Carllngford Lough a
paign orator reach In his argument?“ lived bare a number e f years, and year er tw o ago, caught up in the not
“ H e -never arrives at a conclusion. knew the condition o f the United a packet o f papers, tied together with
H e merely stops now and then to take States before they came here, and are red tape and carefully sealed. The
skipper e f the boat handed the docu­
breath.“ — Washington Star.
therefore better qualified to
ments to a lawyer, and lt was found
W illie— Teacher told us to-day th a t' an opinion than tourists, whether they
they were a missing link which stood
there’s a certain kind o’ tree that be Americans in England or English
between a woman and her fortune.
grows out o’ rocks. I can't remember men in America, even I f they are spe­
They proved the right o f -a Miss
what It w aa His Pa— It’s a family cial com miaeloners investigating liv­
Macdonald«to
certain estates in Ire­
ing conditions.
tree, 1 goose. Philadelphia Ledger.
land, which sbe had claimed ten years
“
In
tpe
'American’
factories
also,
The Irish lady declared to the mag­
before, but which ahe bad failed to
istrate that the defendant had stolen and in the factories where orders for win because the w ill could not be
American
world
contractors
have
been
her hen. “ H ow do yea know lt is
produced. I t was this w ill which was
your hen?“ asked the Judge. “ Know executed, when our manufacturers had brought up from the sea.— Pearson’s
more
work
than
they
could
attend
to,
lt r cried the irate lady. • “ I have
Weekly.
known that hen ever since It was an there are often a number o f Americans
employed. Those in the better paid
egg.”
O regon S tood Purlttor ia
position# find their situations, on the
“ You probably don’t remember me,“
rigl) tly named, because it purifies the
began the self-made man proudly, whole, comfortable and agreeable; yet blood and tones np the body.
but twenty years ago, when I was a practically all these, and nearly all
peer, humble boy, you gave me a other working Americans living here
M oocles la Tension.
whom I have met, have claimed that
The Revue Sclentlfique has been
¡’-y
UNCLE SAM—“A High Standard is Required o f Any Ca-
tarrh Remedy That H as Been Endorsed by so Many Trust­
worthy and Prominent People.**
Tim e and Bonks
The economy o f saving time is wise,
but there is aa economy o f spending
time. In reading, especially, hurry is
moot wasteful. Reading la the mak­
ing e f thoughts, o f Ideas, o f pictures in
the brain. A ll young photographers
know bow little Is to be made out o f
an "under-exposed plate,” but do they
understand that there may he such
thing as an under-exposed brain? It
takes time to make Impressions on toe
mind. I f yon read too fast, either
alond or to yonrself, or skim over youi
reading, toe mind receives poor im­
pressions or none a t alL— S t Nicholas
Mother» will And Mr*. Winslow’s Bootktng
Syrup the bast remedy to nee lor their children
daring tho teething period.
New P ro b li
“ Gracious me!” exclaimed toe * d y
“ These servant girl problems are very
vexing.”
“ W hat now?” asked ber hosbaaA
“ Why, that Russian girl 1 hired re­
fuses to wash my kimonos becauot
they are Japanese.”
M a trim o n ia l B liss.
“ Yon must think I ’m a fool!” ex­
claimed the angry husband.
“1 never would have said so,” calmly
rejoined the other half of the eombiaat
“ bat since yoa have mentioned it I ’m
not going to perjure myself by denying
it."
GASTOR IA
E a r In fan ta a n d Children.
Tbe Kind You Have Alwajs Bought
Bears the
Signature o f
F o r g e t It N o t '
“ Take heed nnto this solemn troth,**
Thus spake tbe beggnr, needy;
dld ”« _ * * * * « ■ * <* Urln* ’ “ asking what muscles tire soonest, with
I ^ * 7 had e*P«cted It. low.
“ A bloomin’ chump was 1 in yontlb
the conclusion that lt 'is not the mus­
„
_ .
.
.
“ Many o f the working Americans ta cles ta use, but those under tension, al­
And note I'm old and seedy.”
.
.
...
„ ..
England, Including those Americanls- though doing ao work. The w riter
have shewn this poem,” toe young
ing factories and those selling
urges ns to use toe arms and legs leas
poet went eu; “ I waa wooing toe muee
manufactures here, accepted their fo r ­ and the back and neck more, for on
last night----- “ “ Poor fellow r repUsd
eign positions at toe same (ta some them comes the greatest stralq. H e
toe editor, handing back too manu­
cases lower) salaries than they had has been asking men e f all occupations
script. “ It’s too bad ahe rejected you.”
been receiving at home, persuaded and the same questions:
Piso's Curs 1« a good conrh
— Chicago Journal.
I t has cured conrh* and colds
believing that they were obtaining an
When
you
have
worked
much,
where
Hicks— H ow do yon happen to be Increase because they would be able to
years. A t druggists, 25 cants.
do you feel tired?
going fishing on Friday?
I thought live more cheaply than at home. In
Before you were trained did fatigue
A a U nkind Cat.
you bettered Friday waa an unlucky the lower wage grades the stay o f toe
“ Isn't it queer,” remarked
day. Wicks— Well. I always have. Imported American workman ia aridom show Itself ta the same regions?
A ll the answers point to the same “ that ths baby immediately
But it occurred ta me this morning one o f great duration. In one factory
quiet the minute 1 began to sing
that perhaps it would be unlucky for where there were nearly fifty men a conclusions. The baker who kneads him?”
“ A H Signs Fan In • D ry T im e “
dough
all
night
complains
o
f
fatigue
too flak.— Somerville Journal.
VM M BI GW O F V MM F IS H
fe w years ago there la only one, a fore­ ta his legs.
“ Oh, there’s nothing so very qneer
“ I'm afraid you're not wise,” said man, remaining. 4 fe w are still ta
KBTXB F A IU DT A W I T s u c »
The blacksmith is tired, not In his about it,” rejoined Mrs. Newpop. “ The
the fair girl. “ Why?” demanded the Great Britain. Most o f them returned arms and shoulders, buU.in his back poor little deer is eridently puxzled by
A B e a u t lf e l V e la me.
In ordering Tower’s Blicken,
ths strangs noise.”
s customer «rites: **I kaow
Thu moot beautiful volume in the persistent suitor. “ Because 'a word to to the United States. They were, some and lotas.
they
wlU be all right If they
Congressional Library at Washington the wise ia sufficient,’ and I hare said o f them told me, disappointed ta find­
~
hare the ‘ FISB’ ea them.*
The young soldier, after a march, ia S tats o r O hio , C m or T olbdo , >
•Nor
to
you.”
’’Yee,
but
'
I
’m
wise
This
eunOdenoe to the out­
tag
the
coot
o
f
living
higher
than
they
L ucas t’ouimr,
I “ •
ia a Bible which waa transcribed on
especially tired In toe back o f toe
growth of sixty-nine yean of
F rank J. C hknkt makes oath that he la
parchment by a monk In the 16th cen­ enough to know that a woman's ‘No’ anticipated.”
•arei
ni
manufacturing.
neck, even i f he has carried no knap­ sanior partner of the Arm of F. J. C hbnkv A
Co., doing business In the City of Toledo, Coun­
tury. The general lettering la in the may eventually mean *yes.’ ” — Phila­
sack.
ty and State aforesaid, and that said Arm «111
DAM M ED BY PR AIR IE D O G A
German text, each letter la perfect, delphia Press.
The oarsman who is In perfect train­ pay the sum of ONE HUN DEED DOLLARS for
each and every ease of C atarrh that cannot ha
A t the end o f thirty years Hiram
and there ia not a scratch or blot from
A . J. T O W E R CO. feeagaefihefl*
R iv e r C hoked U p In T ex a a b y M ig r a ­ ing after prolonged exercise gets tired cured by the use of H a l l ’ s C atarrh C urb .
Ud to BA Bach chapter begins with had accumulated a fortune. His w ife
ta his calves and Insteps.
FRANK J. CHENEY. I
tio n o f th e L i t t l e A n lm a la .
Beaton. V . 8. A .
^ jW C K )
Sworn to before me and subscribed in my
a large Illuminated letter. In which is and daughter were delighted. “ For,”
These facts point to the conclusion presence,
“ The prairie dog migration from
this Sth day of December, A. D , 18 * .
T ow er Canadian Co. • g u A f i g -
drawn the figure o f a saint, some inci­ said they, with becoming modroy, “ wo
A. W. GLEASON,
Oklahoma to southwestern Texas dur­ that ta any continued effort we should
Lim ited
* ’ -
“
J ™ Lj
Notary labile.
now not only have money enough to
dent e f whom the chapter tells.
try
to
alter
toe
habit
o
f
contraction.
ing July, 1874, eclipsed anything o f
Toronto, Canada
cut a splurge, but poor dear papa la
that sort witnessed by white men In That la to say, the body, like toe mind,
F irst L ite Insurance P o licy .
Hail's Catarrh Care is taken internally, and
too broken down to appear among the
»«her* of Warrant* W
at WaatJtar Ctatklm,
* acts
directly on the blood and maeou* surface*
tola country,” said Matt Duhr last needs change o f work.
Th e Bret life Insurance policy o f beat people.” — Life.
af the system. Bend I t testimonial», free.
week. “ Millions o f the frisky little
which the details are on record result­
F. i . CHENEY A CO., Toledo, O.
It’s so long since you last called barkers moat have been ta qneat o f
City Conatry Folks.
Bold by DrugKitta, 75c.
ed in a lawsuit William Gy b bo ns in­
Hail’s Family Pills o n the beat.
Mrs. Up mo re— How is your experi­
upon me I was beginning to think you new pastures or perhaps smelled that
sured himself on June 10, 1083, for
were forgetting me,“ said Miss Pechis, toe approachltfg legions o f homeseek- ment o f living In toe country succeed­
£383 against dying in twelve months.
N o t Q u ite S atisfactory.
H e did die en May 18 of the next year, as she came down to the young man ers would surely exterminate toe dogs ing?
Hicka— I understand that you have
In
the
parlor.
“
I’m
for
getting
yon,“
Mrs.
Hyems—
It
Isn’t
so
bad
as
yon
and plow up the dog towns.
and tha disgusted underwriters (the
might expect I t coats ns more, o f had a telephone pnt in your house. Mrs.
company e f these days) contested pay­ replied the ardent youth, “ and It’s for
Wicks most find it n great convenieoee.
"T h e prairie dog migration from
ment ea the plea that be bad lived getting you that I ’ ve called to-night toe north to the southwest lasted six course, to bave our butter and fresh
Wicks— Yee; bat she doesn’t Hks it
Can
I
have
you?”
—
Kennebec
Journal.
vegetables
brought
out
to
us
from
the
half as well as she thought she would.
twelve months o f twenty-eight days
days, during the month o f July, 1874.
each.— W orld’s Work.______
The passenger who bad been holding' The traveling ‘dogs’ while crossing the city, but w e don’t bave to entertain You see, when she is using it she has to
himself up by a strap sat down In a Red river Interfered to a great ex­ nearly as much company as w e did in listen half the time.— Somerville Joupr-
O r e a a d F u e l.
seat that bad Just been vacated. ] tent with toe cattle that came to that the city.— Scottish American.
Pennsylvania, which makes more
“ There la plenty o f room, ma'am,” he stream to quench their thirst. Some
than half the Iron used In the United said to the pudgy, little matron sitting
cowboys that were on toe banks o f
States, produces less than 2 per cent next ’ Don’t move.” “ W e don't have
Red river during the time when the
o f the Iren ore mined. Ohio, which to,” ahe said, with a cheerful smile;
prairie dogs swam across aay that the
oomes next to Pennsylvania as an iron- “ w e own the bouse we live In."—Chi­
stream was chockfnl o f the little ras­
maker, mines less than 1 per cent of cago Tribune.
cals fo r many miles up and down the
the totaL In both cases tho ore Is
'I tell ye w h a t" asserted Old Man river.
F O R SEED
brought to the fnel, and this la the
Those afflicted with Eczema k now
Splggets, “ that there painter feller la
“ The thirsty cattle were either un­
policy In this country. Only in A la ­
a fine a rtist” “ What Impressed yon able or unwilling to stick their months more than caa be told of the suffering imposed b y this “ flesh
bama are the ore and fuel found to­
T h . C H A T H A M F A N N IN G
about hia work?" “ Well, tber* was a tato the water through toe moving f i t « . ” It usually begins with s sligh t redness o f the skin, which grad u ally
gether.— Scientific American.
M
ILL,
with Sacking attachment,
spreads,
followed
by
blisters
and
pnstnles
discharging
a
thin,
sticky
fluid
ptetur he called ‘The Rainstorm.' an* maS8 0f living prairie dogs. The cow-
will dean and grad« all kind* of
swan, lt was that nat’ral that I b o jg were getting ready to drive the that dries and scales off, leaving an inflamed surface, and at times the itch-
Joke W a s en H er.
Grain and Seeds. The 00 hr mar him
Member o f congregation— Do you hadn’t looked at lt three minutes be­ famishing stock to a distant stream, i n f and burning are almost unbearable. W h ile a n y part o f the body is
liable to be attacked, the
that has screens and riddles made
know yeur sermon on coveteenaneaa fore my corns begin hurdu' me."— but the Red river became clear o f the
Eczema made its appearance on my left limb the
hands, feet, back, arms, face
especially for cleaning grain on tha
last Bnndsy grievously offsnded and Cleveland Leader.
repelling swimmers after blocking toe and legs are the parts most size of my thumb in 1893, and spread until i t 1
Coast. T o convince you that this
disgusted Brother Pneer?
“ Proeperlty?” said Dr. Sllghcem, the useful drinking place fo r about a
often afflicted. The cause of large aa my hand, burning, itching and paining
Grain Cleaner is as represented I will
The Rev. K. Moffatt Lalghtly— Aba!/ eminent surgeon. “ There Is altogether week. It was generally supposed that
me, and for which I could get no relief, until.see­
Eczema is a too acid condi­
•end you one 00 90 days’ free trial
ing the other cures advertised by you I wrote and
I shall have to tell my w ife that It’s too much prosperity! It Is killing bust- toe ‘dogs’ baited when they bad
tion o f the blood. The cir­ secured the Advise of your physicians, commenced
and will pay the freight.
a good one on ber. She contended all nese.” “ In what way?”
asked the reached the stoked plains o f Texas,
culation becomes l o a d e d
Write me for our Descriptive Cat­
the way borne from church that morn­ other. "W hy, sir, almost anybody! “ There have been some eccentric cy- with fiery, acid poisons that S. S. S. and it cured me.
Mayetto, Kan.
J. H. S psn c b .
alogue and “ on time” proposition
ing that there wasn’t a man In the au­ can afford to have appendicitis nowa- clones in this country. One on toe ■re f o r c e d through the
—it w ill interest you*
dience who had paid tbs slightest at­ days, and. In consequence, all o f my south Canadian*in the year 1882 de­ glan ds and pores of the skin which set the flesh aflame. Since the cause o f
tention to the sermon.
beet patients regard It ss too common, horned about sixty steers, but re- the disease is in the blood it is a waste of time to try to cure it with local
and refuse to have i t ” — Chicago Trib- trained from otherwise hurting the Applications; the cause must be removed before a cure can be effected. S. S. S.
T ak es at Hie W ard .
GEO. W . f O O T T
Mr. Newly— Ws don’t appreciate u n *
kps no equal as a remedy for Eczema; it enters the
' animals. One cyclone between Stlll-
P ortlan d , O reg o n
Dept. 11
blood and forces out the poison through the natural
things ws gsrifor nothing. Everybody
A gentleman who waa In the habit water and Connell Creek, about eight
channels, and builds up the entire system. The skin
likes tbs things best that coat the o f dining dally at a certain restaurant years ago, played many * fantastic
becomes smooth end soft again, and the Bcaema is
said to the waiter (an Irishman): “ In- tricks. I t polled all the feethera out
m o lt
„ „ „»
- I l 8 chickens,
v , .m i , and I
.
,
cured. Cases that have persistently refused to be
Mrs. Newly—Then you mast le v « me steed
o f tipping --------------
you every day, Pat, o f _____________
A. L. Curry’s
F. N. U
Ne. 1S-1I
a great deal, because I ’ve beard yfifi
w ill give you your tip In a tamp after taking the naked poultry through f ? !u J L n,d er5 he ordl,1i IY tre* tm eat
*°
purif y in g , cooHn g effect OB
w rit lo g to ad vertisers |
n at the
month.” "Would
Mood* Book 00 Skm D*reas<* and any advice wished, without charge.
mj «tart you paid very dearly for me. sum
ths end o f the month.’*
“ Would the air for #bout
About ten miles,
mil as, dronned
dropped
a tiae th is paper.
7H£ SWIFT SPECIFIC CO.. ATUUiTAa GA.
you motad paying me In advance, them In the road. A colored man, who
— Detroit Free Free«.
eorrr* “ W eill that 1s rather a strangs happened to com« from Pawnee City
request. However, If you are In want shortly after, picked up over fifty o f
o f some money now, here’s half a the naked* chickens. H e concluded
crown for you, but did you mistrust that tbe picked hens and roosters had
me?" “ Oh, no, eorr, but I am laavln# been sent from heaven fo r hie special Co*W — re peed* brisMer end fester cetera thee ear ether dye. Oee 10c packs«« color«
aad le
eueraateed le ptve perfect „ ft». Ask dealer, er we win »rod peat paid at 10c
Write 1er Ire« booklet hew te
C O N S U M P T IO N
hero to-morrow.”
benefit” — Kansas City Journal.
kies«* aad ods celer«. MONROC
M
DRUG CO.
S ta T 5 e
answer?“
buay^man.
»W h en 's’ t o .
Clean Y o u r Grain
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