Newberg graphic., August 30, 1901, Image 4

Frog Shower«.
Scrofula
Few •re en tirely tree from it.
It
m ay develop so slo w ly as to cause
little it any disturbance du ring the whole
p e rio d o f childhood.
I t m ay then produce irreg u la rity o f the
stom ach and bowels, dyspepsia, catarrh,
and m arked tendency to consum ption
before m anifesting itself In much cutaneous
eru ption or glandular sw ellin g.
I t is best to be sure that you are quite
free from it, and fo r its com p lete eradica­
tion y o u can rely on
H o o d ’s Sarsaparilla
’
T h e best o f all m edicines fo r a ll hum ors.
Multiplied.
Towne— See that man?
W ell, sir,
he landed in this country with his
bare feet and now he’s got millions.
Browne— Gee whiz! l i e ’s worse off
than a centipede, isn’t he?
Clcar the Track.
“ A Cornell professor says that frog
spawn can be carried up in the at­
mosphere and hatched out in the
clouds. ”
“ By gum, you bet I ’ll carry an um­
brella the next time I go out.”
Handicapped by Science.
" I understand that he has long
been a student of political economy,”
said the visitor.
" H e has,” said Senator Glucose,
and his economy in politics has kept
him out of office. He thinks he can
be elected without sjiending a cent.”
O u r N a tio n 's W m l l l i .
(•o ld an d s ilv e r are poured a b u n d a n tly
in to th e la p o f the nation, but ou r m aterial
w ea lth a m i stren gih is rather iu iron , the
m ost u sefu l o f all m etals, ju st as the
w r a ith o f a hum an being lies iu a useful
stom ach . J fv o u have o verw o rk ed vours
u n til it is d isab led , try H o s te tle r's Ktom -
ach B itters.
I t w ill relieve the clo gg ed
bow els. Im p r o v e the a p p e tite and cure
constipation, d rspep sia, biloiisness, liv e r
»„d kidney disease.
• <v v. v» ii • • •
.
i
John Bull is trying to down our
locomot
’omotives. ”
_____ —
“ T h ey 'll run him down fast enough
The Shirt Waist
if he gets in the way.”
The women claim their feelings hurt
T h ey’re kicking up a fuss,
Because we men adopt the shirt
That first they stole from us.
T h i« signature ia on every box o f the genuine
Easier Job.
Laxative Bromo-Quinine Tablets
Mrs Cobwigger— Poor thing, she
tried to reform her husband and
failed.
Destructiveness.
Mrs. Dorcas— What is she triyng
Phrenologist— Your bump of de­ to do now?
structiveness is very large.
Are you
Mrs. Cobwiggre — T o reform the
a soldier or a pugilist.
world.
Subject— Neither. I ’m a furniture
mover.
YOU K N O W W H A T YO U A U K T A K IN G
the remedy that c o r e a • c o ld l o e n e d a y
Will Be Well Done.
Cuticus— W hat are you farmers
preparing to do this year?
Haycede (absent-mindedly)— Sum­
mer hoarders, as usual.
f l T C Permuofiilly Cured. No flu or u-rvoueoec-
■ I IO
alter llrstuey’s u»euf i»r kllaa'n Oreat Nerve
Hiwtorer Sand for K it KM 9'Z.OOlri.l bottle and treat­
ise. Ita.lt .11 K linr . btd..V3l ArrhSt.. Philadelphia.Pw
When vou take Grove’s Tastelcaa C h ili Tonic,
because the formula la plainly printed on ever'
bottle showing that it la eim nly iron and Qui
ulna io a tasteless form . N o Cure. N e Par. Mtc
Give Up.
A — Do you know of anything to do
for seasickness?
B— Give up.
“ That's just what I did when
was seasick. ”
A Suburbanite.
W e offer One Hundred D ollar« Howard for any
Her Handwriting.
cane of Catarrh that can not be cured by Hall's
Catarrh cure.
Brown— H ullo; what’s the matter?
F. J. C H EN EY A CO., Prop«., Toledo, O.
We tho undersigned, have known F.J. Chenoy
Green— O, I ’m in an awful fix. I
for the pa it IS years, anti believe him perfectly
Itotti -abl ln a ilb u sln ss transection and An- proposed to Miss Gray and have just
social able to carry out any ubllgntlona marls got her answer.
by t.ieir firm.
Brown— And sltn’s refused you?
W is t A T r c a x ,
Wholesalo lrrnitulsts, Toledo,
Green— I don’t know. 1 can’t read
W a id in g , K in n a n A M arvin,
Iter writing.
V i nolesalo Drug lets, Toledo O.
H all's Catarrh Cure Is t ken u r n a lly a o ln g
dlrec lyor. the blood and m oous surfaces ot
T h e B ea t P r e a c r fp t lo n fo r M u la r la
thesyst nr. Hr I e 78c per b o ilo . t j . d by aL
Chllla and Fever la a bottle o f Urovo’a Tasteless
drug. ists. Tcstlm onl I s i«ee.
CUIUTonlc.
It Is sim ply Iron and quinine In
lia ll s Fam ily F U ' r tb lest.
a tasteless form. No ( ure. No Pay. Price .‘ec.
Drawing Card.
An Enchanting Picture.
Mr. HurlemHat— That must lie an
affectionate passage in that novel you
are reading.
Mrs. Hurlemtlat— I t ’s a description
of a woman’s boudoir. Think of a
place large enough to have a boudoir!
«
onm thm B ou g h and
orltm O ft th o B old .
ta x a tlra llrumu-qulnln. Tablets euro a cold In
one day. No cure, No Pay. Price 25 cents
Encore.
W k at They M eta in L e g a l and Baal*
n eu Transaction».
"Opera tlva words." said a mem bar of
the D istrict bar, "a r t o f the utmost Im­
portance In legal documents and In
business affairs.
Happiness w ill g o out o f your life
"P rob a b ly the most seriously Import­
forever, my sister, I f you have any ant operative word In human affairs la
o f the symptoms m entioned in Mrs.
Valentine's letter, unless you act composed o f but three letters, and It
prom ptly
Procure L y d ia E . P in k - appears In print thus: ‘ Yea.’ When
ham’s V egetable Compound at once. ■he aaya ‘yes’ to a man It means that
I t is absolutely sure to help you. Then •he transfers her heart and hand, and
w rite for advice i f there is an yth ing form erly all o f her property, to him
about your case you do not under­ who auks her to be, etc. This little
stand.
word establishes the most Important
You need not be afraid to te ll the
things you could not explain to the contract o f society, and, while this con­
doctor—your letter w ill be seen on ly by tract may afterw ard be dissolved by
women. A ll the persons who see p riv ­ mutual consent. I f one o f the contract­
ate letters at Mrs. Pinkham ’s Labora­ ing parties demurs and backs out a suit
tory, at Lynn. Mass., are women. A ll for damages Is open to the other.
letters are confidential and advice abao-
“ In auction sales the property put up
w fr e e
,, y
• fh
,
la anybody’s until the auctioneer says
, lle r e “ . ‘ “ V
‘i S
, “
U w i“
'gone’ or 'sold' and the hammer drops.
p le a s u r e t h a t I a d d m y testim ony to
our list, hop-
N o m atter how the sale Is regrettad, or
ng it may In­
how much the parties would like to re­
duce others to
tract It, it stands and the court w ill
avail t h e m -
sustain It.
lelves o f t h e
" I n a w ill they are ‘give, devise and
benefit o f your
bequeath.’ Beal property la ‘devised’
valuable rem­
and personal property ‘bequeathed.’
edy.
Before
takin g Lydia
“ In a note the borrower must ‘prom­
E. Pinkham ’s
ise’ to pay, and In a bond he must
Vegetable
’bind’ him self.
Compound I
“ In some States In a deed certain
fe lt very bad­
words are necessary to convey real es­
ly, was terribly
tate. T h e courts have held generally,
nervous, a n d
however, that the word ‘grant’ w ill car­
tired, had sick
headaches, no
ry a good title. In N ew York, fo r In­
appetite,
stance, the operative words constitute
gn aw in g pain in stomach, pain in my quite a formula, and are ‘grant’ bar­
hack and rig h t side, and so weak I
could scarcely stand. I was not able gain, sell, assign, transfer, set over and
to do anything. Had sharp pains all convey.’ T h a t’s the old form. N ow
through my body. Before I had taken the words ‘grant and release' are suffi­
h alf a b ottle o f your medicine, I found cient.
m yself im proving. I continued its use
“ In a lease the word ’let’ must be
until I had taken four bottles, and fe lt used. They hare on odd form ula In
so w ell th at I did not need to take any
more. I am like a new person, ana N ew York, used for centuries, proba­
bly, consisting o f ‘grant’ demise and
your medicine shall alw ays have my
praise.” — Mas. W. P. V a l e n t i n e , 504 to farm let,’ and It applies to all kinds
P erry Avenue, Camden, N.J.
o f property. In a quitclaim deed the
word ‘quitclaim’ must
be
used.—
iS O O O p p - ^ J t t h ^ t n ^
Washington Stas
i j d l o E l Plnhham M o d io h to Om.
Ensilage
Cutter.
Behit and only
perfect blower cut­
ter on the market.
Send for circular.
Mitchell, Lewis <k
Staver Co.
Portland, Or«.
JO H N POOLE, Portland, Oregon,
Best possible lo build. Best mst-risl Be.l pro­
portion. Be.t finish Lightest running, ueveniv
year-' experience.
W 11 C H k l.t .. I. • W M A
H T A V K K C«J .( lit sud Taylor S ia .. Portland,Or.
Can give yon
Buggies, Plows,
W indm ills and
Machinery. See
the best bargains in
Boilers and Engines,
Pumps and General
us before buying
P P IIC ft lA M
K ills L ic e on P o u ltr y . Y o a
i
W O O IM l l
p a in t th e perches, th e
■ |
p
11 |
fu m es k ill th e lic e .
H ens
■ ■ IW b
I V lL L t l»
ca n n o t fe e d lic e e n d fe e d
you. P r ic e , 50c a n d •1 .00 a cun. Sold by dealers.
PRUSSIAN REMEDY CO., St Pan), Minn
(Jentlemon - I am a breeder of flrst-clagg 811-Lace Wyandotte».
I won »c »n of your PRUS81AN LIQUID LICK KILLER aa& apodal
premium at the St. Paul Poultry Show of 1#00, and find it 1» all
ri*ht. There are several here that want a reliable lice killer, and
yours is all right.
WM M 8WAGGERT, Wayaata, Minn.
J R M a LONE of Adel. Mo . *»>•» the PRUSSIAN LICE KILLER
Is Just the thing for lice on hogs, and is worth five times its coat
E. J. B o w en , C oast A g e n t , P o rtla n d , Ore*
f
Not Hungry, B lit— .
Young Bride— Why, Charlie, you
do not seem to be eating anything
this morning. And I got up early to
make these biscuits for you.
Charles— No, dear; I don’t feel at
all hungry this morning, to tell the
truth. Your biscuits are very nice
indeed. By the way, I wonder if
there are any of those dog biscuit left
that I bought for Nero Friday.
M o th ers w ill fin d Mrs. W in s lo w ’s S o o th ­
in g S y ru p th e best rem ed y to use to r th eir
ch ild ren d u r in g the teeth in g p eriod .
Danger Sign«.
Dusty Dan— 1 hopes I won’t run
nginst onnyhuddy iu dis town w ot’ll
| make me take a hath.
Layaround Lucas— L et’s go t ’ roo
| dis alloy, den; look at dom guys
sprinklin’ wid hose down de street.
The
W holesale B oots & Shoes
KRAUSSC a PRINCE,
THE SWIFT SPECIFIC COMPANY, ATLANTA, OA.
F irs t o f the V an derbilts.
The first o f the Vanderbilts In this
country waa Jan Aertaen Van der Blit,
a Holland farmer, who came to Che new
world In the first half o f Che seven­
teenth century, and who settled In the
neighborhood of Brooklyn, about 1690.
As the name Indicates, the fam ily be­
longed oiigtually to either the village
of Blit, a auburb o f Utrecht, or the par
tsh o f Blit. In Frisia.
8t. Paul
Fast Mall
6:00 p. m.
via
Spokane
8:10 a. m.
7.00a. m.
Salt Lake, Denver,
Ft. Worth,Omaha,
Kalina* City, 8t.
Louis.Cn leago and
East.
72 H O U R S
P O R T L A N D T O C H IC A G O
N o ch an g e of cars.
OCEAN AND RIVER SCHEDULE
I'K O M
• KK) p.m.
“ Y o u ’re a little late, my love.”
" A little late. But I ’m all righ t.”
“ Yes my dear. Let me hear you
pronounce the name g i the Whitney
horse that won the Derby.”
“ E h ! The W hitney horse? W ell,
I guess that’s a horse on m e.”
“ Never mind my dear. I can’t
pronounce it m yself.”
TAKE
TH E
PO KTLAND .
A ll Bailing dates
subject to change
Summer Resolutions
A Generous Admission.
4:00 p. m.
For San Francisco—
Sail every 6 days.
Keeiey Cure
bure relief fiom liquor, opium and tobacco
habits. Bend for particular* to
Kielay Instituts. M o v e A d v e t . o , F 430
a it
M, P.
vv
0.
W illia m s
S id e .
Sa. 3 5 -1 *0 1 .
H E N w r it in g ta a d v e r t is e r * p le a s e
m e a ti an th is p a p e r.
The K ind Y ou Have Always Bought, and which has been
in use for over 30 years, has borne the signature o f
and has been made under his per­
sonal supervision since its Infancy.
Allow no one to deceive yon in this.
A ll Counterfeits, Imitations and “ Jnst-as-good” are but
Experiments that trifle with and endanger the health of
Infants and Children—Experience against Experiment.
AYegelable Preparation for As -
.......................
îula-
staila
ting the Food ‘ and —
Regula­
1 s of
ting the Stomachs and Bowels
I
n
FAN
HILDKLN
Promotes Digestion.CheerFui-
ness and Rest.Contains neither
Opium,Morphine nor Mineral.
N
N
o t
What is C A S T O R IA
Castoria is a harmless substitute for Castor Oil, Pare­
goric, Drops and Soothing Syrups. I t is Pleasant. It
contains neither Opium, Morphine nor other Narcotio
substance. Its age is its guarantee. It destroys Worms
and allays Feverishness. It cures Diarrhoea and W ind
Colic. It relieves Teething Troubles, cures Constipation
and Flatulency. I t assimilates the Food, regulates the
Stomach and Bowels, giving healthy and natural sleep.
The Children’s Panacea—The Mother’s Friend.
.
a r c o t ic
firry* of Otri lirSANUEL PITCHER
/\unpkin S e t'll-
/Hx.Smtui *
RoekeUp Salk —
AtIMC.fivrf «*
mrmSemd-
wffliwDyB^n , «anv.
Aperteci Remedy forConslipa-
fion , Sour Stomach,Diarrhoea
Worms .Convulsions .Feverish­
ness «ml L o s s o f S l e e p .
G E N U IN E
C A S T O R IA
ALW AYS
Dally
Ex.Sunday
8:00 d . m.
Saturday
10:00 p. in.
6:45 a. m.
Ex.Sunday
4:00 p. m.
Ex. Sunday
C o lu m b ia R iver
S te a m e rs.
To Astoria and Way
Landings.
W illa m e tt * River.
4:30 p. m.
Oregon City, New- Ex.Sunday
berg, Salem, Inde­
pendence & Way
Landings.
Facsimile Signature o f
A i I» 111 0 . 1 1 I L s
D
onf
s -
« 11 «I
The Kind Ton Have Always Bought
i n i s
EXACT COPY o r W R A P PE R .
W illam e tte
River.
Portland to C orval­
lis & Way Land­
ings.
4:30 p. m.
Mon., Wed.
and Fri.
For low rates and other inform ation-w rite to
A. L. CRAIG,
General Passenger Agent, Portland, Or.
S O U T H AN D E A S T
-V IA -
S O U TH ER N PACIFIC CO.
Shasta Route.
Trains leave Drain for Portland and way
stations at 12:34 p. m. and 1:23 a. in.
Leave Portland...........
‘ Drain.................
A rrive Ashland...........
*' Sai-ramen to .....
“
San Francisco...
Arrive Ogden...............
“
D en ver.............
“
Kunsas C ity......
*• Chicago..............
Arrive Los Angeles......
•*
El Paso.............. .
“
“
Fort Worth.........
City of Mexico...
Houston............
New Orleans......
Washington.......
New Y ork..........
“
**
"
Sears the Signature of
\. M.
8:30 P. M.
P. M.
2:63 A. M
12 ÓÓ A. M. 12:95 P M
. 5:10 P. M . 6:U0 A. M
. 7:45 P. M. 8:46 a m
. 4:.V> A. M.
7.00 A. M.
. b :30 A. M.
9:15 P. i .
. 7:26 A. M. 7:26 A. M.
. 7 :18 A . M
8:30 P. M.
. 2 00 P. M. 8:0*» A. M.
. 6:00 P. M.
6:00 P. M.
. 6:30 A. M.
6:30 A. M.
11 :S0 A. M. 11:30 A. M.
7399 A. M.
7:o0 A. M.
. 6:30 P. M.
6:30 P M.
6:42 A, M.
6:42 A. M.
12:10 P. M. 12:10 P. M.
.
Pullman and Tourist cars on both trains.
Chair cars Sacramento to Ogden and El Paso,
and Tourist cars to Chicago, St. Louis, New
Orleans and Washington.
Connecting at San Francisco with the several
steamship lines for Honolulu, Japan, China,
Philippines, Central and South America.
See agent at Drain station or address
O. H. MARKHAM, G. P . A .,
Portland, O regon .
In Use For Over 3 0 Years.
TM C C E N T A U R C O M M N V . T V a N IB IlA V S T R C C T . N E W Y O R K O fTV .
Bailey Gatzert
THE DALLES-PORTLAND ROUTE
You can al’ /ays smell a “dead
on e.”
h e has a costive-looking face.
His breath knocks you down.
He drags his feet.
Listeners to his talk turn their
heads the other way.
His breath poisons God’s pure
air.
He ou gh t to keep clean inside;
home
•led.
A t'a n tic
Walla Walla I.ewls*
Express
ton,Spokane,Min*
9:00 p.m.
neapolis.St. Paul,
via
Duluth, Milwau­
Huntington.
kee, Chicago«!: East
Lowest Kates, Quickest Time.
Catalogue Furnished
Upon Application.
All Kinds Carried in Stock.
On
Slow Healing
Sores
4:30 p. m.
Telephone, Oak 1391.
N E W ' Y O R K .
aide
Chicago
Bftlt I^ke, Denver,
Portland
Ft. Worth,Omaha,
Special
Kansas City, St.
9 :VO a m.
Lou is,Chicago und
via
East.
Huntington.
87 and 89 F irs t S treet, Portland, Oregon.
“ What do you think of that whis-
k y?” asked the host.
T O C U R B A « 01.1» I N O N E D A Y
There’ ! a bill that's high am! sloping,
Take L a xative Hromo Quinine Tablets. A ll
“ W e ll,” said the guest, smacking
lrurglits
refaiul ihe money il it lalle to cure.
In the country, far away.
his lips as lie sat down his' glass, “ it E. W. G rove'«
»Innature lio n each box. 2.'>c.
Where a boy who waan't bundled
reminds me of a good story.”
Kit to smother used to stray;
A Shrewd Fellow.
“ L e t’s have it .”
W ith the swiftness ef the lightning
“ Oh, you misunderstand me. I
Swiggers— That man Killtiine is a
Down the gleaming bill he aped,
nrerley wish to imply that it ’s wortli shrewd fellow.
And no aebea ever grata«*
repeating. ”
'Neath
Swaggers— Why?
his
Swiggers— He gave a lawn mowing
horns
Doesn't Boail of It Now.
party yesterday and had the guests
made
Nell— ¡She used to boast ¡that she cut the grass.
tlsu.
was one of tho charter members of
The Reaion.
the W om an’s Stiff'rage Club.
She
Oh. I pity the poor city
doesn’t up pour to lie so proud of it
lie — I t ’s strange you members of
Boy who never geta beyono
now.
the Yassar alumni, don't hohl class The narrow, aehy sidewalk
Or some hampered little pond,
Belle— O li! she's just as proud, fmt reunions,
you know, the club was organized 15
She— N ot at all. You may aa well Ah, the hill was high and (loping,
And the way was clear ahead
years ugo, and she must have been at ask a woman her age as to ask her
Where a country boy went coasting
least 20 when she joined.
what year she graduated.
With rich, pure, strong blood
l
one e is never troubled with sores
or ulcers. A cut or any injury to
the flesh heals in a few days,
natura supplylng/the healing
balm in the form of healthy, new b loo d ; but when the
circulation is tainted with poisonous germs, humors or any
effete matter, a slight scratch or abraalon of the akin
become« a festering sore, tiny pimples grow to be boils,
swollen joints and inflamed glands often Trask out
>ut into offensive, slow healing
polluted blood it always a menace to health ; not only does it keep the
skin in a chronic state of inflammation, but every organ ana fibre of the body
suffers from sn impure and sluggish circulation. You never feel well, you ara not
and never ran be well until the system is relieved of its terrible load of iiupuri-
tiea. With the blood so contaminated, so deeply poisoned, ulcers, boils and
•ores of every kind are apt to become chronic anil often develop into Cancer.
Sores and ulcers are most
_ .
.
__,
I became afflicted wtth a severe sore law and
often caused by poverty of from
the knee to the foot w as one solid sore,
the blood and a weak and which was v e ry offensive. I spent over 01.000
•low circulation, brought on on tw o trips to Hot Springe, and local physi­
by long continued sickness, cians treated me to no purpoee. I hed about
malarial poisoning, torpid decided to have my le g amputated, when a
liver, the use o f mercury, or friend Induced me to try 8 . 8 . 8 . I began to
your medlotne, and In the short space of
whatever is calculated to de­ take
seven months It has com pletely end thoroughly
stroy the vitality of the blood cured me. M y leg le a w itness ted ey as to whet
and break down the constitu­ ■ 0. S. w ill do when taken regu larly. T h e sorw
tion . These old chron ic sores has healed en tirely end my health has im proved
last sometimes for year*, eat- wonderfully. I have already gained 90 pounds.
J. B. T A L B E R T ,
« * « into the flesh, muscles,
Boa 940.
W inona, Miss.
tissues, and even down into
the bones, and are such a tax noon the system that it is hurl for the patient to
tveuperate. and a simple malady often
ol
proves fatal.
«k
Kcthing so quickly or surely restores lost strength and vitality to the blood aa
o
m m u ic io
i n f » severest
f i u t M lo
r m » of
oi m
o o n Poison,
I o ison , as well as the
8 . . o 8 . . o 8 . . i It t i*
is an
an n
nntidute
for r the
forma
Blood
irritating humors that cause the eruptions and sores that sap your ■ ’ very life and so
vegeta
greatly disfigure you. 8 . 8 . S. ia the only gimrantrrd purelv ’ vegetable
blood puri-
her It contains no mercury, potash, arsenic or other hurtful dru_
drug
It cleanses
the blood ami purifies the circulation, thus ridding the system o f^ h e impu
purities
that keep the acres feverish and painful. At the same time your general I h
health
UnDroves under the tonic effects of S. S. S., and the skin becomes soft, smooth
and healthy. I f you are troubled with boils, carbuncles, sore* or eruptions of any
•ort, write our physicians all about your case; don t risk your own judgment
when you can get medical advice from experienced doctors free. Book on Blood
Had 6kta Diseases to all who desire it
TIME SCHEDULES
Portland. Or.
D bpabt
6:45 a. m.
Tue*., Thur
*ud Sat.
P o o r C ity B oy.
Oh, the city boy is bundled
n his heavy overcoat.
W ith bis roetly leather leggings.
With a silk thing round his throat.
And he elldee upon the sidewalk
Where the ashes have been apread.
And luiaginea he it happy
On
hie
bright
new
•led
U nion P acific
AND
7:00 a. m.
3:30 p. ra.
W illam e tte a n d Y a m ­
Tue»., Thur,
Mon., Wed.
h ill R ive rs.
and Sat.
and Fri.
Oregon City, Day-
toil, «it Way Land­
ings.
A Ha r o a s t In L a w y e r .
The late Henry W. Payne, o f the
Massachusetts bar, was once defend­
ing a charity case, in which a boy o f 19
was charged with arson. He made a
strong case to prove the defendant an
Idiot. A fte r a charge from the Judge,
which wag practically an order for ac­
quittal, the Jury brought In a verdict of
guilty. T h e Judge asked Payne If he
would move for a new trial. “ I thank
you for your suggestion," was the an­
swer, "b u t I am oppressed with the
gravest doubts whether I have the
Tight to move for a new trial. Your
honor, I have already asked for and
received for my idiot client the most
precious heritage o f our English and
Am erican common law —a trial by a
Jury o f his peers.”
Payne had an old quarrel with the
Supreme Court, and never lost an op­
portunity o f showing Ids contempt for
that body. Once, riding from Boston
to Cambridge with a load o f law books,
he was accosted by a young Harvard
man with the remark: "Y ou have
quite a load, Mr. Payne. Law books, I
suppose?" "Oh, no,” was the answer,
only Supreme Court reports.’’—N ew
York Tribune.
_______ _
O regon
S hort lin e
Foot of Morrison Street.
Lady— Bridget, did you give the
Waiting for Hi« Man.
gold fish fresh water today?
A preacher riding down 'a ravine
Bridget— H oly Ht. Patrick !
Have
the cratures drank up the whole came ui>on an old mountaineer hid­
howl of watlier Oi guvo thim yester- ing in the hushes with his rifle.
“ What are you doing there, my
[ day?
friend?”
I ’ isu’s (lu re fo r C on s u m p tion is an iofa l
“ Bide on, stranger,” was the easy
llb le m edicine fo r co u gh s and cokls.-- N.
answer.
" I ’m a-waitin’ for B ill
W . H a m c k l . Ocean d r o v e , N . j , F e b 17,
Johnson, and, with the Help of the
11)00.
Lawd, I ’m goin ’ to blow his damn
head off. ”
Each in IU Place.
Irate Parent— I begin to see that
W illie — Pa, is there any difference
I ’ve got a fool for a son!
Philosophical Offspring— All, my 1 between a violin and a fiddle?
Pa— Yes, my son; Jf you hear it at
dear dad, what a wonderful thing is
a concert or an opera i t ’s a violin,
heredity.
hut when your next door neighbor
plays it i t ’s a fiddle.
h o w # t h is :
“ My dear,” said Rev. Dr. Gallory,
“ have you had the advertisement of
my Sunday services inserted as usual. ”
“ I ’ve done better than that,” re­
plied his clever wife.
“ I ’ve sent
word to tlic society editors that Mr.
and Mrs. .1. Itlugore Do Vorso will
very probably he present.”
K afentlM Tmllm H o w
Lydia £. Plnkhmm’m V,
bio Com pound Ot
FARM MACHINERY AND SUPPLIES.
“ O P E R A T IV E WORDS** IN LAW .
Water Drinker«,
Mr. Isolafe (o f Lonelyville,
evening train, einhurnisHcd)— You
may notice that nearly every suburb-
unite is bringing out either a new
cook or waitress with him?
Mr. Brooklyn Borough (his guest,
critica lly )— You m ight call this
"C ook ’s personally conducted excur­
sion.”
Heredity.
S ick W om en
—that means sweet breath, quick brain, swift moving feet. You can’t feel well
and act well with your bowels clogged, sending poison all through your body.
Clean them out gently but thoroughly and keep them clean with CA5CARET5
Candy Cathartic, and you will find that all bowel and liver ills and the nasty
symptoms that g o with them are quickly and permanently
SCHOOLS AND COLLEGES.
W e wish Io snnoonce th st the fine
end newly equipped fast steamer,
“ Bxiley G atzert” has been placed on
the Portland-Dalles route as a strictly
excursion boat and to enable tourists
snd the people of Oregon and W ashing­
ton to make the round trip by daylight
on the Columbia River, through the
C fs sde Mountains, on the following
schedule:
Leaving Portland at 7 o ’clock every
morning (except M onday), reaching the
‘ •Cascade Locks” at 12 o’clock M ., stop­
ping at Hood R iver and W h ite Salmon
•nd arriving at The Dalles at 3 P. M.
Starting back at 4 P. M ., arriving in
Portland at 10 P. M.
Meals the very
best that the market can afford snd
only 26c
Fare to The D illes one wsy,
»1.60, snd round trip, »2.50.
Landing
sad office, foot of A lder St.
Both
phones M ain 361.
I f you desire to take a trip for pleas­
ure. for grandeur, for everything that
•ye or heart could wish, and that no
other pert of the world can furnish, go
for a ride on the “ Bailey G atzert.”
Make up a party of your congenial
friends and together pass the most en­
joyable day of yonr lives.
V ery cordially yours,
THE WHITE COLLAR LINE
H IL L
M IL IT A R Y
A C A O fc M Y
A P rivate
f .'r*' S c h o o l
For board In f and day n «p (lt
Op#ns September l&
Fine
new building The principal
haa had twenty-three year*
experience in Portla*i,i. Cor­
respond« nc« solicited
For
catalogues add re»*
J. W . H I L I., M. D ..
P. O drawer 17, Portland. Or
SO Y E A R S '
E X P E R IE N C E
I Oc.
25c 50c.
A L L DRUGGISTS
A l i n p
1 ■ I | 0 L
I ill M l
U U l I L
S T FOR THE
«11 k ow a l tro a k ls i. * * p «* 4 lr t U * , M I-
!• * * ■ • — > k «d
n
4 W o o d , « 1 *4
on (h e atomarVi, bloated hoxaela, fo a l
m onth, tfevadoet»«' In d ic a tio n , pim p!«#,
p a in * a l t e r «• tin e , lt v «r »r o a b lf, • • f lo w com p lexion
a n d ü l i i l n f t »•«.
H . *1 h*n jo nr k ® w fli d on ’ t m « v « r « | « «
l arl y y «n aro fe ttin e «Ick . C o n s t ip a t io n k i l l « m o r o
t o g e t h e r . I f la *
p « « p l « than a ll other dii
s ta rte r f a r t h « r h r o n le a lim e n ta a a d lo a n y e a r# a f
•ufTVr 1 n ■ t h a t « o r n a a f t e r w a r d « *
Ita m a t t e r w h a t
a lls y o n , s ta r t t a k l n « C AS C A 11 K T * t o - d a y , fa r y o n
w i l l n e v e r * e t w e l l a a d ho w e l l a ll th e tim e n a ti!
you p a t T e a r h o W «ls r ig h t.
T n k « o n r a d v l r e i a ta r i
w ith C A lC A R R T t to -d a y , a n d e r an «h o e I a t « gu a r-
• n t « o to e a r o a r m o n e y r o f h n d « d .
m
N EVER
SOLD IN BULK.
GUARANTEED i
- o v ie r
a m m atter whfflf atl* yea
tradc
m ar k s
D e s ig n s
C o o v o i g m t s Ac.
Anvnfi« asn4lM* a
and daarrlptbw! may
QiUoklv ascertain oar opinion f r « « whether an
tnvenMon ta probably r**entable. Communio*.
tftons atrtetiy ronSder.rial. Haadbnofc on Paten t«
•ent free. Oldoet agency fo r aecartna patent».
Paten t» taken thr
Mann A i a. r e e «lv «
—octal notire, wit boat charm. In th «
»tort le*
Scientific Am erican.
________
A henOeranel. tnmrmtml
. ^ m
S ly .
•d w
raIstituì o f su. .- ..r io IC • Vut
' arasi. T sn r». SI s
jr month*. IL Sold
Salt t b _______________
, sn s.w M ss .ra
Ï0 .»"
New York
ch ôfSce, •06 I !*t., Wajbtnftoa,
ust*». 1
D.C.