Newberg graphic., August 23, 1901, Image 4

SUFFERED THREE TEARS.
CATARRH OF STOMACH.
He Sells Both Kinds.
A young man who had just entered
| the office of Jereuilab Mason, the great
New Hampshire legal luminary, to
study law, asked him where be should
beglu. Mason, pointing to the books
ou the library shelves, answered la­
conically: "Anywhere.”
Over u century ago Beujamlu Frauk-
King Edward Has Many Guests.
liu discussed the property qualification
Crusty.
A very noticeable circumstance is for voting In Pennsylvania. A man
" Y e s , ” Miss Frocks went on, "M r. the number of distinguished people— owned a donkey of sufficient value to
Templeton and I are to be married. political, official, diplomatic and so­ enable him to vote; but before the next
W hy don’t you offer congratula­ cial— who have dined with his majes­ election the donkey died, and the man’s
ty during his visit to Windsor castle. vote was refused. “ Now,” asked
tions?”
“ Oh, I ’ve no grudge against T em ­ This is especially remarkable because, Franklin, “ who voted at the previous
pleton,” teplied the crusty old bach­ during the last reign, the late queen election—the man or the donkey?”
more often dined with her family
elor.
The question, “ Who was Bismarck?”
alone in the small dining room called which was put by a German officer to
the
oak
room.
The
king,
however,
Adaptation.
his men, called forth some curious an­
has introduced tne practice of having swers. Nine said that he founded the
“ Snicker’s jokes are very th in ,”
a good-sized dinner party every day. German Empire, several thought that
complained Dinsmore.
he was au emperor, a great number
“ Perhaps lie makes them that way
W o r ld to Knd I h l l Y ea r.
for your special benefit,” suggested
This Is the recent decision of one of the 1 pictured him us a general, one said that
W interbottom.
prominent societies of the world, but the : he was a poet, and another that he
exact day has not yet been fixed upon, and j translated the Bible. The neatest an­
" H o w ’s that?”
“ T o enable you to see through while there are very few people who believe swer was that lie was “ the Kaiser's
this prediction, there are thousands of
them. ”
others who not only believe, but know greatest enemy.”
that Hostetler's Stomach Hitters is the
John Lawrence Toole, the most pop­
best medicine to cure dyspepsia, iinlitrest-
Spring! of MisConduct.
tion, constipation, billiousness or liver ular low comedian of his day, once
"Y o u haven’t uny manners, Jack. and kidney troubles. A fairtrial will cer­ gave a suppet to eighty of his friends,
Why didn’ t you offer to escort that tainly convince you of its value.
and wrote a note to each of them pri­
young lady home?”
vately lieforehaud, asking him wbeth-
Very Blunt.
“ Oh, I have manners, all right,
! er he would be so good as to say
but I didn't have any street car fare.”
"T h e editor is kicking about sonic grace, as no clergyman would he pres­
of tiie jokes W itlittlo is turning in. ent. It is said that the faces of those
Safer on His Back.
H e says he believes W itlittle sits eighty men as they rose In a body
when Toole tapped ou the table, as a
Pinching-bug— Say, what
makes down and grinds them o u t.”
“ I don’t believe it. Jf lie was to signal for grace, was a sight which
you wear your fur overcoat in such
grind them out they m ight have a will never he forgotten.
hot weather?
Caterpillar— Oh, half the moth point to tlicni.”
The other day a Gordon Highlander
balls we get now are no good.
Invited his wife to visit him at the
She Couldn’t.
barracks In Scotland. She did so, tak­
“ Just walk this way madam,” said ing with her their O-year-old girl. When
the clerk who was how-legged.
they arrived, as It happened, the hus­
“ I ’m— cr— I'm very much afraid, band was engaged on sentry duty, and
sir, I can’t ,” hliishinlgy replied the so they could not approach him. The
This aifnature ia on every box o f the genuine
fair customer who wasn’t.
child eyed her “ daddy” with a rather
sorrowful expression, as he paced up
tho rained 7 that « a r e a a c o ld l o o n e d a g
Never Existed.
and down the square shouldering his
Juggles— Are his characters drawn rifle and wearing a kilt. She had nev­
Summer Geography.
from life?
er before beheld him thus arrayed, and
“ Fa, what is a lake, anyway?”
W aggles— Of course not. lf c writes for a few minutes the spectacle seemed
“ A lake, Jimmie, is a large body of
\ to he quite
beyond her; but for no
water surrounded by men,
women dialect.
longer could she keep silent. “ Mamma,”
and children in bathing suits.”
TO C O R K A C O LD IN O N E D A Y
I she said, In a voice that betrayed a
Taka Laxative Bromo Q uinine Tablets. At)
childish covetousness, “ if
I m r g iit s refund the m oney if it falls to cure. trace of
An Exhaustive Trip.
E. W. U rove’s signature fson each box. 2.'«.
daddy finds the man what stole ’ees
H arriet— Hurry’s got home.
trousers, will he gitume dat tickle
Hence the Term.
Clara— Did lie have a good time?
frock ?”
H arriet— I guess so; he borrowed
Clarence— Why do you say the
The experience which a certain young
half a dollar to pay tho hackman be­ wedding was patriotic?
fore he kissed uny of us.
Algernon— Well, the bride was red, lady had iu London on the day of
the groom was white and ner father, Queen \ Ictorlu's funeral will serve as
Those Print.rs.
who hud all the Dills to pay, was an excellent warning for those women
who are Inclined to allow their human­
blue.
"W e ll, that’s the worst y e t.”
itarian impulses to get the best of them.
" W h a t ’s tho matter?”
A Conscience Document.
| This sympathetic lady relieved a worn-
“ My
magazine poem
entitled
‘ Bullied’ appears under tho head of
"T h a t last cook sent us hack a ¡in, who appeared to bo In a fainting
stute, of her huby and lmd it left upou
•Raffled.’
postal card.”
her hands by the disappearance of the
“ W hat tor?"
A Sure Result.
“ Sho said on it that we’d find three mother. After waiting in vain for the
“ Say, old chap, Coft'up and I have a of our best plates at the bottom of mother to return, the embarrassed
the pile stuck together with muci­ young w'omnu told her story to a police­
bet we wish you to decide for us.”
man on the outskirts of the crowd. “ 1
lage.”
" N o thanks.”
have heard that story before,” he
" W h y not? W e’re both friends of
grinned In a knowing way, and refused
yours. ”
to Itelleve her. A visit to the police
“ Kxactly.
So what's the use of
station brought the sume result an ut­
my making an enemy of ono of you?”
ter disbelief of the unfortunate young
H O W ’ S T IU S T
woman’s story. The work house was
tried, hut with uo better fortuue. It
We offer One Hundred Dollars Reward for any
case o f Catarrh that can not bo cured by H ell's
was six weeks before the shop girl was
Cat irrh euro,
om haven't a regular, healthy movement o f thd able to get rid of the child which had
P. J. CHENEY Jt CO., Props.. Toledo. O.
els every day^you’reslek^or will be. Keep youj
We tho undersigned, have known K. J.Cheney _ twels open, and he well. Force, in tho shape ol come to her in so strange a way, and
for the past Iff years, and believe him perfectly violent physic or pill poison. Is dangerous. The
easiest, most perfect way or kee|d|
'm it entailed the very greatest trouble on
eplng the
hon< abl in all basin ss transaction ; and fin­ nmoothoMt,
ocwals clear and clean Is to take
ancial able to carry out any obligations mode
her friends before they could Induce
by t.ielr firm.
the parochial authorities to accept the
W est A T kvax .
CANDY
Wholesale Druggists, Toledo, ’ \
true version of the case.
s
C A T H A R TIC
^
Laxative Bromo-Quinine Tabi.u
BESTFORTHE
BOWELS
M rs . F r x n k C a r t e s ,
3 M errill Street, Ameebury, Mas*.
V M i latter should ca rry Faith
and Oonvlotlon to thoHoarto
of all Slok Women.
“ I suffered w ith inflam m ation and
fa llin g o f the womb and other dis­
agreeable fem ale weaknesses. I had
bad spells every tw o weeks that would
last from e ig h t to ten days and would
have to g o to bed. I also had head­
ache anu backache most o f the time
and such bearing down pains I could
hardly w a lk across the room at times.
I doctored nearly a ll the tim e fo r
about tw o years and seemed to grow
worse all the time u n til last September
I was ob liged to take m y bed, and the
doctors thought an operation was the
on ly th in g that w ou ld help me, but
this i refused to have done.
“ Then a friend advised me to try the
Pinkhara medicine, w hich I did, and
a fter using the first b ottle I began to
improve. I took in a ll five bottles of
L y d ia E. Finkham ’s Blood Purifier,
four boxes o f L yd ia E. I ’inkham's Dry
Form Compound, three boxes o f L iver
P ills and used three packages o f Sana­
tive Wash, and 1 am as w e ll now as 1
ever was. 1 am more than thankful
every day for my cure.” — M rs . F ran k
C a BTEB, 3 M errill St.. Amesbury, Mass.
Up on Fourth avenue there is a
storekeeper who likes to be tight.
Over his widnow is the sign :
‘ ‘ Bird
Miss Evelyn Morse writes from 651
cages and aquariums. ” In the win­
dow another sign reads: “ Bird cages Adams street, Minneapolis, Minn.,
and aquaria.”
The
storekeeper as follow s:
“ I suffered for nearly three years
comes out sometimes, looks over the
signs and chuckles as if having with catarrh of the stomach which no
medicine seemed
dodged a difficult problem.
to relieve, until a
friend advised me
A Coincidence.
to try
Peruna.
“ I suppose it is only a coincidence?”
Although skepti­
said the young man who is anxious
cal, I tried it,and
to learn.
found it helped
” VVhat is?” inquired the experi­
me within the
enced friend.
first week.
I
“ The fact that most sensational
kept taking it for
reformers have been men who were
Kiss Evelyn Morse.
three months,and
so rich they didn’t need any more
money, or so poor they had lost all am pleased to say that it cured me
entirely, and I have had no sympt­
hope of getting any.”
oms of its return.
I am only too
glad to recommend it .” — Evelyn
Cozy Comers in the Home.
Morse.
Church— Have you a cozy corner in
Address Dr. Hartman, President of
your house?
The Hartman Sanitarium, Columbus,
Gotham— Oh, yes; my wife has ar­ Ohio, for free advice.
ranged two of them.
“ You must enjoy them after a hard
Hide-Bound.
days work?”
“ Enjoy nothing! The cat has one
Ascuro— What are you so down on
and my w ife ’s dog occupies the other. ” . the English for?
Cassidy— W hy shouldn’t I? Look
Fortified.
at the stories they do be tellin ’ about
Mrs. Hatterson— I ’m going to meet thim.
Ascum— Yes, but they tell stories
my husband at 1 o ’clock to select
some decorations for the drawing about the Irish, too, which you say
i are lies.
room.
Cassidy— Aye, but all the lies they
Mrs. Clatterson— W hat do you
j tell about the English are true.
want him with you for?
“ Well, in case they don’t turn out
YO U K N O W W H A T YO U A IIE T A K IN G
right I can say i t ’s his fau lt.”
When vou take G rove’s Tasteless C hill Tonic,
When Willie Got Home—
“ Mrs. K n o x ,"s a id the hostess at
dinner, "you r little boy doesn’t seem
to have much appetite.”
“ No, he doesn’t ; th at’8 a fact.”
“ Don’t be bashful, W illie ,” urged
the
hostess.
“ W on’ t you
have
some more of anything?”
‘ ‘ No, m a’am ,” W illie replied; “ I
~pald If thim to a tlm o - filled up on cookies before we come,
not genuine.
.
fnhhant M o d lc ln o Q ° “ ’cause I heard ma tell pa that we
wouldn’t get much here.”
Business Repartee.
t o o c o & e t a
THAO« MAUN MOISTfRIO
Farmers Fight Over Laborer.
Kansas City papers contain an ac­
count of throe farmers being arrested
there while fighting over the poses-
sion of an idle man, whom each
wanted for a farm hand.
.Plaaeant, Palatable. Potent. Taste Good. Do Good,
Never Hloken. Weaken, or Gripe. Ilk?.
fjOc Writ«
for free sample, aiid booklet on health. Address
Sterling Rrati; Company, Chicago, Bontrool, Sow fork. SitSs
How She Proves It.
His ’’Call.’’
“ Maggie says she is a daughter of
the revoluiton.”
‘ ‘ Can she prove it?”
“ Sure. Her tether runs a merry-
go-round.”
Hooker Washington Bays that dur­
ing the early days of freedom almost
every Negro who learned to read
would receivo " a call to preach”
within a few days after lie began read­
ing.
He (ells of a colored man in
Alabama who, one hot day in July,
while he was at work in a cotton
field, suddenly stopped and, looking
toward the skies said :
" O Lawd, de cotton am so grassy,
de wtirk am so hard, and de sun am
so hot, I believe this darkey am
called to preach.”
Prldt ol the Poor.
Mrs.
McChane (trium phantly)— 1
are takin' in wushin’ again,
Mrs. MoFroudec (whose husband
had lost a paying job.)— Sure, it’s
only to amuse th ’ children.
They
wants tho windics covered with steam,
*o they can make pictures on thim.
see ye
KEEP YOUR BLOOD CLEAN
Eczema Bets the skin on fire. Th e acid poisons in
the blood are forced out through the pores o f the skin,
causing intense redness, burning and itching. So terrible
ia the Itching at times, esix-oially when the body is over­
heated, that the almost distracted sufferer feels that he
could tear the skin to pieces, and that he must scratch or
g o crazy. H e knows from experience that this only
makes mattei s worse, hut, made des]>erate bv the terrible
burning and itching, he is for the time being indifferent to after effects. There
are several forms of Eczema, the moist, o r weeping kind, that comes in little pus­
tules which discharge a waterv, sticky fluid, which dries and peels off in bran-like
ecalee. So profuse is the discharge at times that large scabs or crusts form, which
are both painful and troublesome, and not easily removed. Red, disfiguring bumps
and sores are symptoms o f Eczema. The drv form usually attacks the head,
hands and fe e t; the skin, becoming hard and rough, often cracking open and
bleeding, and attended with much itching Eczema dej<enda upon a poisoned con­
dition o f the blood, and local
M r. L . V a r a n , E scondido, Ban D ie g o C ou n ty,
•PI plications, while soothing
C a l., w r i t » . : “ M y b od y b roka o u t w it h a raah
d cooling, and may to tome
• r e ru p tio n w h ic h in s p it* o f a ll «S o r t s t o eu rs
extent relieve the inflamma­
c o n tin u ed to g e t w orse, T h « itc h in g , e s p e c ia lly
tion and itching, cannot
a t n ig h t, v u «Im p ly t e r r ib le ; i t w o u ld a lu o a t
be considered cures, because
d is a p p e a r a t tim e«, o n ly to r e tu r n w o n t th an
o to t . I Bkd trie d m a n y h ig h ly recom m en d ed
external remedies do not
p re p a r a tio n s w ith o u t benefit, e n d h e a r in g o f B.
reach constitutional or b lo o d
B. , d eterm in e d to g iv e i t n
a f a
e i ir r t r ia l, a n d w a
ee
s
diseases. Salves, ointments,
seznreaa
re e a lb ly d elig gh
h ted ‘ w h en a fe w b o ttle s
powders, lotions and soaps do
cu red m a e n ilr e M
ly W , , rea
re m o v ■ in _ g e v ■ e r ■ y ■ b lem is h and
more hurtq than g o o d , by
p im p le fr o m m y body. X «h a ll n o t f a il to recom -
smearing over and scaling up
1 B. B. B. w h e n ev er an o p p o rtu n ity occurs.
the pores o f the akin, thus
forcing the poison back into the blood. S. S. S. antidotes and neutralizes the scid
poisons and drives out of the circulation all impurities and humors, and the pure,
rich blood that is carried to the discaaed akin quickly allays the inflammation,
opens the clogged t:p pores, and the sk in becomes soft, smooth and ready to per form
its proper functions T o be rid o f Eczema you must first purify and build up the
blood, and nothing so sutdy and effec tually does this as S. S. 8 , the only guaran-
teed purely vegetal sble blood purifier. Send fog our book on blood and sk in diseases.
and
id write our
bur pby-
physicians for any information or advice you may desire.
ad vice and book free.
T ttß S W IF T SPECIFIC CO., A T L A N T A
ÜA.
A curious condition prevails on the
Punish Island of St. Thomas, In the
Caribbean Sen. for the purebuse of
which the I ’ ulted States government
has been negotiating recently. It was
said that If Peunmrk was not to sell
the Islands the Fnlted States would lu-
slst that SI. Thomas lie fortified.
In a way the beautiful little harbor
o f Charlotte Amalie at St. Thomns Is
fortified now. At least there is a fort
there, and it Is garrisoned by Danish
troops. It Is almost n landlocked har­
bor, and on the high headland at Its
outrance there is a signal yard nud au
observer, who Is constantly ou the alert
to sight while they are still far nt sea
the large number of ships of ull kluds
and all countries which make the port
n busy plaee.
When the signal shows that a foreign
man-of-war is making for the harbor, ns
one often does, the port being free and
an excellent coaling place, one of the
soldiers of the garrison gets himself In
readiness to fire the return salute to
the visitor when she shall have fired the
requisite number of guns In honor of
the Danish ting, which may be seen
rising to her peak ns she stemns up the
harbor.
This little exchange o f amenities may
never 1 h > omitted, nud they say down
nt St. Thomns that these snlutes cost
the Danish government more for pow­
der snd the necessary garrison mainte­
nance than the total of the govern­
ment's receipts front the island.
Ensilage
Cutter.
Best and only
perfect blower cur­
ler on the market.
Send for circular.
Mitchell, Lewis <k
Staver Co.
Portland, Ore.
Horrible Revenge.
Mr. Brutle— I ’m going to bring
Cadleigh home to dinner on Thurs­
day.
Mrs. Brutle— Why, I thought you
hated that fellow so.
Besides, I ’ll
have to cook the dinner on Thursday.
Mr. Brutle— Yes, I know.
S
UMMER
V . I . SMITH I CO., h f liii, I . T.
I Syru p. T u t n 1
Ilm«.
*l. I n
Po id by rinigpiM*.
C O N S U M P T IO N
Buggies, Flows, Boilers and Engines,
Windmills and Pumps and General
Machinery. See us before buying.
Brat possible to build. Best material. Best pro­
portion. Best finish. Lightest running, »even ly
years’ experience. M I T C H E L L . L B W I S X*
N T A V K K C o ., 1st and Taylor Sts., Portland, Or.
ABSOLUTE LAND PLASTER
SECURITY,
g g
K
3 * K
S IM B
J | f T F F
MaMJM m M w M MuMm a
•
The Perfection of Wall Plaster, w ill not fall off, even
though a leakage occur by the bursting of water pipes.
Send us your address and receive circular
showing what others have gained by the use of
Laud Plaster.
THE ADAMANT CO.,
A gents wanted in every town.
Foot of 14th Street.
iï
SCHOOLS AND COLLEGES.
BISHOP SC01T ACADEMY \
Carter's
__ L * O R U A N D
OH F
<•-.
31
AR TH U R C
NEW/LL
ïh k e
Kee/ey Cure
Sure relief fiom liquor, opium and tobaoco
habite. 8end for particulara to
Sto H elen's Hall |
A H o a r d in g a n d U a y S c h o o l fo r G ir in ,
Has a Nornal Kindergarten Training Depart­
ment, which w ill have a separate residence for
kindergarten classes this Fall. The Hoarding
Department provides a cheerful and w ell ar­
ranged home fo r young ladles. For Catalogue
her inform ation applv
r
or other
to
MISS ELEANOR tEBBETT8, Principal.
Very a m alí asd es moa,
t e fa lt e sus ragua,
Just So.
L ittle Elmer (who has an inquir­
ing m ind)— Fapa. what is firmness?
Frof. Broadhcad.— The exercise of
w ill power, my son.
L ittle Elcrner— W ell, sir, what is
obstinacy?
Proff. Broadhead.— The exercise of
won’t power, my son.
P O R T L A N D , OREGON.
S— Fee-Si mile Wrapper Below.
lZ 'ïu 'a'
[0/ Kialey Instituts, MoTï ,ve,.v
P R I N C I P A L
j
P E IN S IO IN
Sommer Resolutions
F o u n d e d 1070
A H om o S chool fo r B o y e
M ilita ry a n d M a n u a l Training
Fall T e rm Opona Sagt. IO , 1901
Pirita fo r llluatratad O a ta logu
o
p ..
Little Liver Pills.
CLl
S
W
-l K Ï M
Portland. O regon .
BICKFORD, Washington, D. C.. thev w ill re­
ceive quick replies. B. ôth N. H. Vols. Staff
20th BIC
Corps. Prosecuting claims siuoe 1878.
cel
Genuine
FOI HEADACHL
FOI D IM INU I,
ros BIUOUSIESS.
FOI TOIPID LIVEI.
FOI CONSTIPATION.
FOI SALLOW SKI!.
___ FOI THE COMPLEXION
M o p e tho D ough an d
W o rk . O ff tho O old.
San Francisco Busi
1936 M a r k e t S t., San F r a n c is c o , C al.
j Laxative Bromo-Quinine Tablet, cure acold
one day. No cure, N o Pay. Price 25 ce n t*
FÜ LL COURSE, Î60.00.
,
W rite for Catalogue.
MRS. JOSES'
C U R E S IC K H E A D A C H E .
FLESH OROWER.
P r i c e $ 2 .0 0 .
Brassy.
“ I suppose, ” said the girl in the
pink shirtwa st, “ you have partici­
pated in every form of outdoor amuse­
ments?”
" N o , ” replied the girl in
the
Gainsborough
hat.
“ There’s one
more river to cross.”
“ River?
Oh, I see! The golf
S tyx.”
This Is the genuine. It increas­
es flesh on any part of the body,
develops bust to any desired size
and make« round,plump face and
neck. Removes all blackheads,
tan. freckles, pimples, flesh
worms, and makes the skin soft and white. W rite
for agents’ terms. M R S . E . J O N E S & C O .,
Offices 610-611 inter Ocean Bldg., Chicago, 111.
M. r . M. V.
w
I
Lowest Rates, Quickest Time.
OCEAN AND RIVER SCHEDULE
FROM
1:00 p.m.
PO RTLAND .
A ll sailing dates
subject to change
4:00 p . m .
Daily
Fx. gumlay
8:00 D. m.
gaturdav
1 0 : 0 0 p. m.
6:45 a. m.
Ex.Sunday
4:00 p. m.
Ex. Bunday
C olum b ia River
Steam ers.
To Astoria and Way
Landings.
W illam ette
River.
Oregon City, Nevv-
berg, Salem, I n d e ­
p e n d e n c e hi Way
4:30 p. m.
Ex.Sunday
7:00 a. m.
W illam ette and Y a m ­
Tues.. Thur,
h ill Rivers.
and Sat.
Oregon City, Day-
ton, A Way Laud-
in gs.
3:80 p. in.
Mon., Wed.
A d Fri.
6:45 a. m.
Tue«., Thur
and Sat.
4:30 p. m.
Mon., Wed.
and Fri.
W illam ette
River.
Portland to Corval­
lis A: Way Land­
ings.
For low rates and other information w rite to
A. L. C R A IG ,
General Passenger Agent, Portland, Or.
Tin« Kind You lim e Always nought has borne the signa­
ture of Chaw. II. Fletcher, anil hits been marie untler his
|>er>oiiaI supervision for over HO years. Allow no ono
to deceive you iu this. Counterfeits, Imitations niul
“ .Itf-t-ns-goori ” are lint Experiments, anti endanger the
health of Children—Experience against Experiment.
What is CA STO RIA
Ca-itoria is a harmless substitute for Castor Oil, Pare,
goric. Prop* anil Soothing Syrups. It is Pleasant. It
contains neither Opium, Morphine nor other Narcotic
substance. Its age is its guarantee. It destroys Worms
ami allays Feverishness. It cures Oiarrhtca anti Wind
Colic. It relieves Teething Troubles, cures Const||tation
ami Elatulenev. It assimilates the Food, regulates tho
Stomach and Itoxvels, giving healthy anil natural sleep.
Tlu« Children's Panacea— The .Mother's Friend.
The Kind You Have Always Bought
Might Be Cheaper.
e rr?.
“
“
S a c r i » m e n t o ........ ... 5 :: 10 P . M .
S a n F r a n c i s c o . . . ... 7 : 4 5 P . M .
5 :lK) A . M
8 :4 5 A . M .
r iv e
“
"
“ .
O g d e n ..........................
D e n v e r ................... ...
K a n s a s C i t y ........ ...
C h i c a g o .................... . ..
4 : 55
« :3 0
7 ::26
7 :4 2
A.
A.
A.
A.
M.
M.
M.
M.
7 :0 0
y : 15
7 :2 5
8 :3 0
A.
P.
A.
P.
M.
M
M.
M.
r i v e L o s A n g e l e s ........ ... 2 :0 0 P .
E l P a s o ..................... .... 6 :<H) P .
“
F o r t W o r t h .......... ... 6 : 30 A .
“
C i t y o f M e x i c o . . ...11 :30 A
•'
H o r s t o n ................. . 7 ' 0 0 A .
“
N e w O r l e a n s ........ ... 6 :3 0 P .
*•
\N a s h i n g t o n ......... ... ♦>: 42 A .
*'
N e w T o r k .............. . 1 2 : 10 P .
M.
M.
M.
M.
M.
M.
M.
M.
8 :0 5
6 :0 0
6 :3 0
1 1 :3 0
7 :IM)
6 :3 0
6 :4 2
1 2 :1 0
A.
P.
A.
A.
A.
P.
A.
P.
M.
M.
M.
M.
M
M.
M.
M.
Pullman and Tourist ears on both trains.
( hair cars Sacramento to Ogden end El Paso,
and Tourist ears to Chicago, St. Louis, New
Orleans and Washington.
Connecting at San Francisco w ith the several
steamship lines for Honolulu, Japan, China,
Philippines, Central and South America.
See agent at Drain station or address
O. H. MARKHAM, G. P. A.,
Portland, Oregon.
B a ile y
G a tz e rt
THE DALLES-PORTLAND ROUTE
I f you desire to take a trip for pleas­
ure, for grandeur, for everything that
eye or heart could wish, and that no
other psrt of the world can furnish, go
for a ride on the “ B ailey G atzert.”
Make up a party of your congenial
friends and together pass the most en­
f l T O Permanently Cnrml. No fltj or non______ joyable day of your lives.
■ ■ I ® after Hr« fat'« i « n f pr K1 a.'siir-at Norm
V ery cordially yours,
rtost. r>r Sen.) tor F it K K f i i OO tn.l u-trlo.nd treat-
... Da. R It Klava, lad..«31 ArchSt.. PhtUd.I.lit»Pa
Simple When You Know.
” 1 was up in the m ill district today
F rig h tfu lly noisy up th ere.”
" T h a t ’s righ t.
I ’ ve got a friend
who lives up there.
H e can ’ t hear
him self talk in his house.”
" M y ! B oiler shop next door?”
" N o , H e ’s deaf and d u m b.”
Mothers will find Mrs. Winslow's Sooth-
In* Syrup the best remedy to use tor their
children daring the teething period.
A Matter of Poiky.
*«v
Portland...........
R 0 A. M. 8:30 P. M.
‘ Drain................. .. S : 4ti P . M.
2:58 A. M
1J - ift A M. 12:35 P. M.
A rrive Ashland..........
Leaving Fort'and at 7 o ’clock every
morning (except M onday), reaching the
“ Cascade Locks” at 12 o ’clock M ., stop­
ping at Hood R iver and W h ite Salmon
and arriving at The Dalles at 3 P. M.
Starting back at 4 P. M., arriving in
Portland at 10 F. M.
Meals the very
U rge a per- beet that the market can afford and
cure clirou* only 26c
Fare to The D tiles one way,
Druggists.
♦1.60, and round trip, $2.30.
Landing
and office, foot of Alder St.
Both
phones M ain 351.
_______________
t m ubrat
Train* leave Drain for Portland and way
station* at 12:34 p. m. and 1:23 a. m.
Tess— So he jilted her, eh?
That
p i » » . . ' must have made her feel cheap.
Jess— Not so cheap as lie might
wish. She computes the damage to
Iter heart at $25,000.
Too Much Criticism.
Years.
SOUTHERN PACIFIC CO.
Shasta Route.
schedule:
10c. ¿>e, i*c.
Over 3 0
---- V IA ----
and the people of Oregon and W ashing­
ton to make the round trip by dayligh t
T h e y N e v e r F a il.
Bears the Signature of
SO UTH AND EA ST
I am sure Piso s Cure for Consumption
saved my life three years a go .— M rs T iio s . on the Columbia River, through the
K o b r in s . Maple street, Norwich N Y
Crs ade Mountains, on the following
Feb. 17, 1900.
Almost never. Cases re Is cure so
• euiag»-. that ihey re guaranteed to
ie constrpation or money refunded.
In
72 H O U R S
P O R T L A N D T O C H IC A G O
N o change of cars.
Lost Opportunity.
Re. 3 4-1 S 01 .
H E N w r it in g
m e n t io n t h is paper.
In
" I hear your husband is ill, Mrs.
I Jones. ”
“ Yes’um. ”
"N o th in g serious or critical, I
1 hope?”
“ Critical?
I should say he were.
He ain ’t satisfied with nothin” he
ain’t . ”
Iu the “ mount*In of the monks,'
on the coast of Macedonia there are
twenty monasteries. The place Is sa
< red to the male sex and no woman is
allow ’d to cross Its borders.
7.00a. m.
gait Lake, Denver,
Ft. Worth,Omaha,
Kansas City, 8t.
Louis,Chicago and
East.
6t. Paul
Pant Mail
6:00 p. m.
via
Spokane
W e wish lo announce that the fine
"A n d didn't you hear of it? ” in
quired Mrs. Gabble.
and newly equipped fast steamer,
“ N ot one word. ”
“ B rile v G atzert” has been placed on
T\ by, I ve known it for a week, (he Portland-Dalles route as a strictly
so I supposed every body had heard excursion boat and to enable tourists
of it .”
a c r a | » w r e ir Vegetable
H s c re d to M onks.
Is b e« tima to eure retarrti.
Bronchiti* m d Conauraptlon.
Our remedy Is icuaranteed, |1.
r O. B ob ITS. -----
8:10 a. m.
Walla Walla I^ewis-
At antic
ton.Spokane,Min­
Ex press
9:00 p.m.
neapolis, St. Paul,
via
Duluth. Milwau­
Huntington.
kee, C b icago»k East
Foot oi Morrison Street.
Can give you the best bargains in
A n O ld F r ie n d .
I’ r o p e rty o f S o u th ern N egroes.
4:30p.m.
Chicago
Salt I-ake. Denver,
Portland
Ft. Worth,Omaha,
Special
Kansas City, St.
9:00 a. m.
Louis.Chicago and
via
East.
Huntington.
J O H N P O O L E , Portland, Oregon,
A clergyman, taking occasional duty
for a friend in one of tho moorland
churches of a remote part of England,
was greatly scandalized on observing
the idd verger, who hail beeu collecting
the offertory, quietly abstract a half-
crown liefore presenting the plate at
tho altar rails.
After service lie called the old man
Into the vestry, and told him. with
emotion, that his crime had been dis­
covered.
The verger looked puzzled. Then a
sudden light dawned on bin).
"Why. sir, yon itoan’t mean that onld
half-crown of ttilue! Why, Ol've ’led
off' with he this last fifteen year!"—
London Spare Moments.
No less than HtVWO homes arc held
free of debt by Southern negrw*. They
have l>een estimated at an average
value of $140,000.000. The holdings of
personality by the race are probahly
worth more than the realty.
ARRIVI
For San Francisco—
Sail every 5 days.
Mr. Manhattan— I hear you subur­
banites go to bed every night at 8.
Isolate, (o f Lonelyville, indignant­
ly )— I t ’s no such thing.
W hy, I
have an alarm clock to wake me up
in the morining and can’t wind its
alarm up till the hour hand is past 9
o ’clock, so we have to sit up that late
every night except Saturdays.
T h e B est P r e s c r ip t io n fo r fflatarla
Chills and Fever ia a bottle o f Grove’s Tasteless
C hill Tonic. It Is sim ply Iron and quinine In
a tasteless form. No Cure, N o Pay. Price 50c.
\
j
;
i
TIME SCHEDULES
Portland, Or.
D in a r
The biddy Things.
FARM MACHINERY AND SUPPLIES.
Must Bear Signature of
S u itin '* M u st B e F ir e d .
« o union P acific
L a n d in g s .
Strange Lady—W h a t’s the price of
the iron bedstead?
Dealer— Twelve dollars, madam.
Strange Lady— How much off if I
pay cash?
Dealer— Madam, if you don't pay
cash the bedstead is not for sale.
W x i x ii n o , K i n n x n A M a n v ia ,
Wnolesale Drug -lsts, Toledo O.
U a ll’sCatarrh Cure la t ken n* rn ally.ac lug
dlrec.ly on the blood and m ooua surfaces of
the syst m. I’ rl o 76c per bo‘ lie. t j . d by all
drug. Ists. Testltnonl Is tree.
H all s Fam ily P n '
r th l«s L
because the form ula Is plainly printed on every
| bottle showing that it is sim oly Iron and Qui­
nine In a tasteless form . N o Cure, N e Ray. 50c.
OREGON
S hort L ine
“ See here, C assid y,” said D eKan-|
ter, “ I caught one o f your bartenders
today p u ttin g water in the w h isk y.”
“ W e ll, sor, ” Cassidy replied, " y e
must understand th at we have to
make some concessions to the tem per- i
ance p e o p le '”
|
THE WHITE CO LUR IIHE
BO Y E A R S ’
EXPERIENCE
P a ten ts
TRADE I f l t s s s
D e s ig n s
C o p y r ig h t s A c .
A m u w »4 te f s «kPtrh snd description m af
qntcklT ascertain onr opimon fmo whether an
invention Is probably patentable. Communica­
tion* *r net 1? confidential. IIandNx>k on Tatenta
•ent free. Oldeat aaenev for securing patent».
Patents taken throuah Mnnn A Co. recelva
norier, without chanre, in the
Scientific American.
A handaomelf 11 rated’ weekly. I-anrest cir­
culation o f anv intenttfld JoumaL Term», $5 a
» “ tr f i-n • '- « fi. F 1 t»y all re •
era.
■Io., *,*ro*#wtT'New York
c t , « r a , WMbUwtoe. D. c .