Newberg graphic., July 19, 1901, Image 4

Nstgrsl causes
Humors
Th ey take possession o f the body, and
are Lords o f Misrule.
Th ey are attended b y pim ples, boils, the
Itching tetter, salt rbeuin, and other cu­
taneous eru ption s; b y feelings o f weakness,
languor, general d e b ility and w hat not.
Th ey c c is e m ore suffering than anythin g
else.
H ealth, Strength, Peace and Pleasure
requ ire their expu lsion, and this Is posi­
tiv e ly effected, accord ing to thousands of
gra tefu l testim on ials, by
Hood's Sarsaparilla
W hich ra d ica lly and perm an en tly d rives
them out an d builds up the w hole system .
G REATEST AND LEAST
Juryman— Yes, we brought in a
verdict of doath from natural causes.
Reporter— But an iron beam fell on T W O E X T R E M E S IN SIZ E . B U L K
him from the fourth floor!
O R W E IG H T.
Juryman— Of course. Wasn't that
naturul? You wouldn’t expect it to
fall up on the eighth Hoor, would L i r , « t D ia m o n d a n d B a s i l * * « , T a i l * * *
you? That's where lie ought to have
M a n an d S h o r t e s t, T h i a s « M a a a o t k
been at work instead of down in the
o r D ia tia n t lv a T h a t B cp rca a n t E x ­
basement.
t r e m e * la K it h a r R a a p t c t .
Her Ides.
Miss Bridesoon— What is your idea
of the ideal lover?
Miss Yellowlcaf— The one who mar­
ries.
Signs o f Spring.
The biggest diamond In the world It
the great (Joblnd gem. which weighs
nearly 450 carats. Is as big as an aver­
age inkstand, and worth about $450,-
countless
Perils of the Poles.
Papa— Oh, no! »W ashington never
told a lie.
Three expeditions are trying to
Johnny— W ho attended to that part locate the south pole, and six are
of his strategy for him, pa?
after the one at the other end of the
world. This means nine new faces
H o l t l 's S c h o o l.
on
the lecture platform next year.
A I Menlo Park, San Mateo Connty, Cal., with
its heatltilHl, surroundings, perfect climate,
careful sutervision, thorough Instruction,
complete laboratories, and gymnasium, easily
maintains Its position in the front ranks of
schools for-bovs on the Pacific Coast. Ira (1.
llo ltt, Ph. In, Principal.
Clearly True.
"W h a t do think of this idea that
Mars is sending signals?” asked Mr.
Beech wood.
“ There’s nothing on earth in i t ! ”
replied Mr. Homewood, emphatically.
FORTUNE’S PHASES.
THE UPS AND DOWNS IN THE
LIFE OF A CLERK.
A T a l e o f M is fo r tu n e and M is e ry W it h »
N a p p y E n d in g - T h e W o r ld S eem ed
A l l V e r y D a rk fo r a W h ile .
Mothers will find Mrs. W inslow’s Sooth­
A clerk’s life, ordinarily, is a very
ing Syrup the best remedy to use for their
children during the teething period.
humdrum one with but very little
variety to the daily routine. But
His Reason.
Mr. Fred R. Morton of No. 80 Vesper
First Tramp.— W hy didn't
yer street, Portland Me., had an experi­
swipe dat feller’s clminless bicycle ence recently which Ims made his life
now a very happy one. In telling a
datyer went after last might?
Hecond Tram])— W ell, I found out reporter of whttt he went through he
dere was a chainless dorg in de yard. s a id :
" I had been suffering with stomach
P I T Q Permanently Cured. No fit* or nervouines.’ trouble for ubout two years.
Kvery
■ lid
after first day’« ueeAf I>r. Kline's Great Nerve
Restorer. Bend for P K B K 9*1-00 trial bottle and treat­ day ubout’ ten o ’clock in the morning
ise. Da. K. II K line . Ltd.. V31 Arch St.. Philadelphia, Pa.
and three o'clock in the afternoon I
became faint and felt so hud that if I
Revolution of Witch Wheels.
did not sit down I would full. That
The main wheel of a watcli makes
sensation usually lasted for about an
1,400'revolutons in a yeur; the second
hour and when noon came I had no
or center wheel, 8,700; the third
appetite for lunch.
wheel, 70,080; the fourth wheel, 52.r>,-
“ I saw Dr. W illiam s’ Pink Pills for
600; and the fifth or scape wheel,
Pale Feoplo advertised in the daily
4,7:11,800.
papers about a year ago and decided
I felt relief from the
B e w a r e o f O in tm e n ts f o r C a ta rr h T h a t to try them.
C o n ta in M e r c u ry ,
first box and after I had taken six
A « mercury w ill nurely destroy the sense of boxes my disease was cured. I do not
smell and com pletely deranKe the whole sys­
tem when entering it through the mucous sur­ take them now but always keep them
faces. Much articles should never be used e x ­ in the house.
I have told my friends
cept on prescriptions from reputable physi­
cians, as the damage they w ill do is ten fold to I what these pills have done for me and
the good you can possibly derive from them
should I know of uny one’s being sick
H a ll’s Catarrh Cure, manufactured by F. J.
Cheney A Co., Toledo, O., contains no mercury, us I was I should recommend Dr.
and is taken internally, aiding directly upon ! W illia m s’ Pink Pills for Pale People. ’ ’
the blood and mucous surfaces of the system. \
Mr. Morton’s statement was pub­
In buying H all’ s Catarrh (’ ure be sure you get |
the genuine. It is taken internally, and made lished in the Portland Express after
In Toledo, Ohio, by F. J. Cheney A Co.
Te,tl' fie lmd sworn to it before Marshall H.
monials free.
Hold by Druggists, price 75c. per bottle.
Purrington, a notary public
H a ll’a Fam ily Pills are the best.
The most effective remedy in the
world in cases of this kind is Dr. W il­
Down In the Stogie Belt.
liams’ Pink Pills for Pale People.
Visitor— Do you ever have any They act directly on the blood and
smoke consumers in Pittsburg?
nerves. This makes them invaluable
Pittsburger— Yes;
each resident not only for stomach trouble but also
oonsumes his own share.
for such diseases us locomotor ataxia,
partial paralysis, St. V itus’ dance,
sciatica,
neuralgia,
rheumatism,
nervous hendache, the after effects
of the grip, palpitation of the heart,
This signature ia on every box o f the fenu ino pule and sallow complexions nnd all
forms of weakness either in male or
female. Dr. W illiam s' Pink Pills
the remedy that c u r c a n o o l«l In oma B a y
for Pule People arc sold by all deal­
ers, or will lx) sent postpaid on receipt
Spring Shadei.
"N atu re is painting the world with of price, fifty cents n lx)x, or six boxes
generous coats of green,” remarked for two dollars and fifty cents (they
Mrs. llellefield, us she sat on her porch are never sold in hulk or by the hun­
and watched the rain falling on the dred) by addressing Dr. W illiam s
Medicine Co., Schenectady, N. Y
grass and young leaved trees.
êWA.
Laxative Bromo-Quinine Tabi.t.
“ And using watercolors, ” added Mr.
Bcllefield.
Station for Observing Earthquakes.
SI hui a K a t* it C n i f t r t ! .
Haliy » f t « thr> bonrflt. Survins mothers malto
their in 11 k m ildly p o re a tlv* w iin C in s re ta ,to #
only safe laxative 1er bahtva. A ll druggist«, lOr,
The academy of science at Vienna
has resolved to establish a novel sta­
tion for tho observation of earth­
quakes, in a silver mine 100 meters
below the surface.
Proqrcsi Among Florida Negro«!
An industrial school for Negroes is
promised in Florida, thus putting
that state on a pur with other of the
southern stales in tho education of the
colored people.
Pleasant. Palatable. Potent. Taate Good. Do
Good. Never Sicken. Weaken, or Gripe. 10c. tte. SOo.
...
C U R E C O N S T IP A T IO N .
11«
Sold and guaranteed by all drug*
gists to C'tJKK Tobacco HablL
Mad* s Mistake.
TUCK WAS ONLY ONf '
The Lee faintly, which, until the
civil war, had always been represent­
ed in the army, was until the Spanish
war without a single member in the
regular service. Now there are two
Lees in the army and the third will
also probably soon wear his shoulder
straps.
IT MRS THIS TBA9E MARK
The Saucer's the Thing.
“ Mustache cups?” said the clerk in
the chinaware department.
“ Yes,
sir. H ere’s a pretty design.
Cup
and saucer, one forty-nine. ”
"B u t,” said Mr. Porque Pacque,
'that ain’t the saucer that goes with
it .”
"O , yes. ”
“ Not much it ain't. There ain’ t
no mustache guard on it .”
t y f t B R k?®
WHICH B STIU TO It MUW «N TUI
B E S T O IL E D CLOTHING.
ON SALE EVERYWHERE. BEWARE Of IMITATIONS.
A. J.T 0 WER CO- BOSTON. MASS, s.
W here do You
Sell Your Hides?
try m e
.
I
N.
FARM MACHINERY AND SUPPLIES.
FREE TO FARMERS Milwaukee Binders
LEAD
| With one Lever Raising and Lowering Device.
Latchless Reel
Concave Drive Wheel
Light Draft
i
J U S T IS S U E D .
CATALOGUE
FREE.
J. A. FREEMAN, Gen’l Agt.
Equal to th« Occasion.
Complete Stock of Water A. Wood Extras.
o f C om m erce,
PORTLAND, OREGON.
a storm. The Inner and outer ends of
the garment are provided with atlts or I
eyelets tor the tnsertlou o f straps or
cords for suspending the extended coat
a fter the manner o f an ordluary ham-1
mock, and the hunter w ill appreciate
this portion o f the outfit, as tt enable,
him to add another com fort to hi.
equipment without Increasing Its bulk !
to a noticeable degree It w ill also b .
noticed that the warmth o f the g a r - ,
ment can be considerably Increased by
buttoning up the outer half, a fter tha
vest portion has been fastened, the but­
tons and buttonholes being arranged
to that end. The Inventor Is Joseph
Conley o f Mound City, Mo.
Scrofula la an unwelcome legacy, but one which
the children of blood poisoned parentage must
accept, with all its humiliating consequences. It fa
an inheritance that make, «me poorer; that brings
wretchedness anti disease instead of health and
riches, for the child whose ancestral blood is tainted
with Scrofula or th* loathsome virua of Contagious
Blood Foison ia unfitted for the arduous duties of
life *o long as any of the transmitted poison remains
in its veins. Scrofula manifests itself in various forms; swollen glands about the
neck and throat, catarrh of the head, weak eyes, hip hone disease, white swelling
and offensive sores and ahoceaaea are familiar symptoms, attended usually with
loss of strength, poor digestion and pale or bloodless complexion. The skin 1»
sometime* moet dreadfully affected, eruptions breaking out on all parts o f the body.
F in e F o r e s ts In t h e M e a t.
Scrofula destroy, bone, tissue and flesh ; no part of the human system escape* its
withering, benumbing touch.
Arizona has a pine forest reserve
When nineteen year* old, and about on. year
Parents whore blood is pois­ covering an area o f over eight thousand
after tho birth of my first child, tho .lan ds on
tho loft side o f my nook began to owoll. Tour of oned by their own miedreds,
square miles. The total quantity o f
or who themselves may be
the plane* were lanoed and became open ru n aln .
eeree; rletnge came nndsr my left arm, and the I suffering for th* sin* o f some pine tim ber suitable for sawing pur- |
dlooharge wao simply awful. Tit* doctor* said I
remote ancestor, must re­ poses within the boundaries o f the ter- ;
had th* worst case of Borofula they had over
store
their own blood to its i rttory amounts to 10.000,000.000 feet. !
s m s . I took Iodide of potassium, bnt this nor
normal purity and strength,
which la enough to supply the needs o f |
the other drug* given h r this disease brought
o r th e y c a n n o t expect a thickly populated state for more than
relief. When th* physlolane advloed me to have
tho glands removed, I decided to try 8. 8. 8. A
healthy, robust children.
flew bottle* cured me completely; no olgas of 8. 8. 8. cures Scrofula, like a century. The principal forest area Is
tho terrible dleease are left.
other diseases of a deep- In Coconino County, and borders the
K M . B I O K A R D W A SSO N ,
Grand Canyon of the Colorado, al-1
seifted. constitutional charnc-
Golden Corners, Ohio.
Apache and Yaraplfi
ter, by restoring life and though tllla.
»n rity to the profoundly poisoned blood, and the rich, strong blood that ia carried counties have considerable timber. In
Co the swollen and diseased glands absorb* and destro vs the tuberculous deposita, , New M exico there are tw o enormous |
the painful, disfiguring sores and other evidences of Scrofula disappear '
forest reserves, one on the l>coa River,
8. 8. S. should be begun immediately
I
imeolately upon
the appearance o f the first «vmp-
In the northern part o f the territory,
s, or where there is a known prediepoeition
predispoeit
to Scrofula. Our medical depart
the other on the (,11a. In thy southwest­
it w ill be found of great help
dp to those who are struggling with this wasting
wasting
i o f heredity or any other blood trouble, and we invite you to write us. ern »«srtton, comprising 3.701,040 acre*.
Should you or any member o f your fam ily need advice, our physicians w ill cheer­ This domain la as large at the states of
fully give the information you dasire, for which we make no charge
Book on
Rhode Island, Delaware and one half
B lo o il
P ile s i n fr t f
o f Connecticut combined.
Secures patents for inventions
in the United States and foreign
countries. Also negotiates mar­
kets and defends patent inven­
tions.
No better terms or facilities
than we offer obtainable any­
where.
Paym ent of our fees
may be deferred till patent is
allowed. Write for pamphlet.
The Wonder of the Age
T1 • great Airship, 228 feet long and 56
high, now bu ildin g at San Francisco, Cali­
fornia, w ill make its first voyage about Sep­
tember 15th. E V E R Y 0> E should have a
few SHARES. They are now selling at |2.00
a share, and w ill be worth 1100 aiter the
ship Ims made her first voyage. Send orders
for stock* with check or money order to Cal.
Aerial Navigation Co., care of Columbian
Banking Co., San Francisco, Cal.
Social Training.
Her Lack.
4 00 p. m.
Ex. Sunday
Columbia lllvtr
flaamora.
Dally
Ex.Sunday
8:00 D. m.
Saturday
10:00 p. in.
To Astoria and Way
Landings.
WlllaiMtto River.
Oregon City, N#w-
berg, Salem, Inde­
pendence dt Way
Landings.
Willamette and Yam­
7:00 a. in.
hill Rivera.
Tues., Thur,
and Sat.
Oregon City, Day-
ton, <fc Way Laud-
ings.
* : » p . m.
■Cs. Sunday
8:80 p. m.
Mon., Wed.
and Fri.
Willamette River.
6:45 a. m.
Tnes., Thnr
and Sat.
Portland to Corval­
lis A Way Land­
ings.
4:8) p. m.
Moil., W«d.
and Fri.
For lew rates and other inform ation w rite I
A. L. CRAIG,
General Passenger Agent. Portland, Or.
SOUTH AND EAST
---- V IA -----
SOUTHERN PACIFIC CO.
Shasta Route.
Trains leave Drain for Portland and way
stations at 12:34 p. m. and 1:2:1 a. ni.
I.e&ve Portland............
4 Drain..................
A rrive Ashland............
44 Sacram ento...... .
“
San Francisco ...
A rrive Ogden...............
44 D en ver.............
44 Kansas C ity ......
44 Chicago.............
A rrive L of A ngeles.....
•4 El Paso..............
“
Fort W orth.......
44 City of Mexico..
•* Houston............
44 New Orleans.....
•• Washington......
*• New Y ork.........
. 8:30 A. M.
8:! :80 P. Ni.
.. 3:40 P. M.
2
2:68
:1 A. M
12.65 A. M. 12:35 P. M,
5:10 P. M.
5:U0 A. M.
7 : lé P. M.
8:46 A^ M.
4: 55 A. M.
7:00 a 7 ÏI.
*:3Û A. M.
2:15 P. M.
. 7:25 A. M.
7:25 A. M.
. 7:42 A. M.
8:30 P. M.
. 2:00 P. M. 8;05 A. M.
. 6:00 P. M.
6:00 P. M.
6 ::« A. M.
6:30 A. M.
.11:30 A. M. 11:30 A. M.
7:00 A. M.
7:00 A. M.
. «:30 P. M.
6:30 P. M.
6:42 A. »I.
6:42 A. M.
.12:10 P. M. 12:10 P. If.
O. H. MARKHAM, 0 . P . A .,
Portland, Ore
N
O R TH E R H
PACIFIC R.R.
(Y ellow ito n e Park Line.)
T h * only D ining-Car R o u t* from Portland
to the E ast.
T h * only rout* to the Y ellow stone Notional
P ark .
Liveried Menial— Me Lud, the car­
riage waits without.
His Lordship— Without what?
“ Without'horses, me Lud; ’tis an
automobile. ”
The Illinois woman who railed her
husband a jackass anti then got mad
because ho called her his better hall COST, VXST, (TO H U COAT A H n HAMMOCK.
dot's not seem to know such a thing top, which allows tt to fall downward
os justice.
to protect the low er limbs In case of
For San Francisco—
Sail every 5 days
2 8 0 E . M fa ta r t t . , P o r t la n d , O ra ,
G EiS LER PATEN TS
COMPANYa
Cham ber
6:00 p .a t
Pullman and Tourist cars on both trains.
Chair cars Sacramento to Ogden and El Paso^
and Tourist cars to Chicago, St. Louis, New
Orleans and Washington.
Connecting at San Francisco with the several
steamship lines for Honolulu, Japan, China,
Philippines, Central and South America.
See agent at Drain station or address
Not Cold Blooded.
"W h a t does the teacher say when
you don't know your lessons?” asked
W illie ’s father.
"S h e says I must be a chip off the
old blockhead," replied W illie, and
then something happened.
PO RTLAND .
A ll sailing dates
subject to change
1*0 p.m.
Ohas. Lm Mastlek A Co
W.
PORTLAND, OR.
FROM
We alwaya pay the Highest Price.
Josh’s Future.
Gothamite— I suppose you
may i Send yonr name and P. O. address and ws
think we New Yorkers are rather «111 mail on* or both, as desired, (res o f all
severe on your Boston girls when we 1 charge.
speak of their cold bloodedness?
Hubbtie— Not at all; so many of
M itchell, Lewis & Staver Co.,
your fellows have been frozen out by
them you know.
OCEAN AND RIVER SCHEDULE
CATALOGUES FREE
SHOWING FULL LINE OF GARMENTS AND MATS
>
“ I guess maybe Josh is goin ’ to be
a great financier, an' git money by 75 Front S t., cor. Oak, Portland, O r
his brains," remarked Farmer Corn-
tossel.
is best tim e to cure Catarrh,
"D oes he take such an interest in
Bronchitis and Consumption.
Our rem edy is guaranteed, |1.
commercial affairs?"
“ O. B ox 9 7 3 .
“
N
o
;
but
he’s
got
to
get
a
livin
'
,
H. SMITH
GO., Buffalo,
Y
somehow, an he jest won t work. ’ ’
'
-----
Our 1901 Vehicle Book
Our 1901 Implement Catalogue
Lowest Rates, Quickest Time.
6:45 a. m.
Lx. Suini ay
T h e B e s t P r o s c r ip t io n fo r M a la r ia
Take Laxative Bromo Quinina Tablets. AU
I r o n is t s refund the mousy it it falls to curs.
B. W, G rove’! iixnstu re Is on each box. 25c.
72 HOURS
PORTLAND T O CHICAGO
No change of cars.
IN THE BEGINNING
SLICKER
The Lee Family.
•: 10 a. m.
Walla Walla I*w is- 7:00 a. m.
ton,8pokane,Min­
neapolis, St. Paul,
Duluth. Milwau­
kee, C b lcagotk East
St. Phul
Ka t Mail
6:00 p. m.
-Bpotane
...
S l.r tla f R . 8 « $ 7 Coapaay, ( h t « , * . , Mo.tre.1, I « w Y a rt.
4:30 p m.
Salt Lake, Denver,
Ft. Worth,Omaha,
Kansas City, St.
Louis.Chicagoand
East.
Atlantic
Express
9:00 p. ni.
via Hunt­
ington
▼ftAOC MASK MOiaTIMO
Patient— Doctor, would you mind | Chills and Fever Is a bottle ot Grove’s Tasteless
C h ill Tonic. I t Is «Im ply Iron and quinine in
stopping at the drug store and pay­ a tasteless form. No Cure, N o Pay. Price 60c
ing lor this prescription.
I ’m^short
The Automobile.
of change.
Doctor (hurridly w riting another
“ W ill the automobile become a
prescription)— Excuse me. I made a permanent fad?”
mistake. You don’t need any nerve
"Doubtful. See how men, outside
medicine.
of scorchers, even, were bent on rid­
ing the bicycle at first; and look at it
now.”
TO CCBK A CO LD IN O N I D A T
No Risk.
S c ro fu la
bvaccw a®
Horrors ol War.
First and Taylor 8M.
fO O K N O W W H A T T O P A R K T A K IN G
>ve ■ Taalelrse
i asteit-is C
t d
u i Tonlo,
-ionio,
When you take O rove’a
hill
became ihe formula a la o " la !nly printed on every
bottle showing that 1 It
tt la sim ply Iron and Qui-
uluo In a taateleu form
lorm. No Cure, N e fa y . 60c.
Later.
^
Didn't Like It
Mistress— I wouldn’t hold tho baby
so near tho tiger’s cage, Nora.
Do You Keep Horses,
Nora (the nurse)— There’s no risk,
Or cattle, sheep or pigs?
If so you mum. t li’ tiger is a "m an eater,’ and
want good fences. Send for free hook th ’ child is a gur-rul.
and pictures telling about the l>cst
I am sure I’ iso'a Cure fur C on su m ption
and chea|s'st fences on earth.
Port­
land Anchor Fence Co., 742 Nicolai saved m y life three years a g o .— Mas. T ho ».
H o s k in s . Maple street, Norwich, N. Y „
street, Portlund, Oregon.
Feb. 17, 1900.
Again the two illustrious men met.
"M cSweeney," said the governor
of North Carolina to tho governor of
South Carolina, with deep solemnity,
"h ave you joined the Buffaloes?”
C A T H A R TIC
A RBIVk
Salt Lake, Denver.
Chicago
Ft. Worth,Omaha,
Portland
Kansas City, St.
Special
Louis.Chicagoand
9.00a. m.
East.
via
Huntington.
"B u t what,” asked one of the mys­ NO-TO-BAC
tified listeners, “ could the gold stand­
ard have to do with the capture of
A Choice.
Aguinaldo?”
"W h a t is it this m orning?” asked
‘ Don’t you see, ” said the excited
“ Ham and eggs,
talker, “ that Funston was after the the new waitress.
isn’t it? ”
yellow boys?”
“ N ot exactly,” said the boarding
house mistress, "and I want you to
Bound to Be Heard.
your lives be sacrificed when a word of
work this well. You must be careful
advice at the first approach o f weak
Jester— I understand our pastor is
ness, may fill your future years with going to preach through a megaphone to say to each boarder, 'H am or
eggs?’ ”
healthy joy. Address s le tte r to Mrs.
Pinkham ’s Laboratory, Lynn Mass., hereafter.
Jim8on— W h y is that?
and you w ill not be disappointed.
Jester— W hy, the sleeping mem­
“ When 1 began to take L yd ia E.
Pink ham's Vegetable Compound I war bers of the congregation snore so
not able to do my houaswork. I suf­ loudly that the others can’t hear.
He Stopped His Psper.
" S ir !” exclaimod the oldest citizen
as he walked into the business office
of the daily paper, " I see in your
sheet of today, sir, an article to which
I take exceptions, and I want my
paper stopped, sir! And when James
F. Anderson says stop, sir, he means
stop, s ir!”
" P h il, ” wearily murmured the cir­
C O M B IN ATIO N HUISTINO C O AT.
culation manager, “ go out and tell
Bob t ’ stop th ’ press an’ lock up; o’ l
This invention has for Its object to
man Anderson has quit us!”
provide a combination garment, which
w ill take the place o f the ordinary
hunting coat and vest, and may also
be used as a storm coat or a hammock.
T h e outer portion o f the coat la pro
vlded with sleeves and a storm col­
lar, and the under half Is somewhat
sim ilar to a vest, being capable o f sep­
aration from the outer portion at tha
|
TIME SCHEDULE!
Portland. Or.
D in a r
CANDY
Family Bereavement.
fered terrib ly at tim e o f menstruation.
Several doctors told me they could dc
nothing form e. Thanks to the Pink-
ham advice and medicine I am now
w ell, and can do the work for eigh t la
the fam ily.
“ I would recommend L yd ia E. Pink
ham’s Vegetable Compound to all
mothers with large fam ilies.” — M r s .—
Csania I I e l l x v i l i . e , Ludington, Mich
wo union P acific
ly of fa a e a re ta ”
F B ID W iH TSSS.
670SUannaato«o Ave . Philadelphia. Pa
'A m a part orphan now?” asked
the chick of the hen.
‘W hat do you mean?” inquired
the hen.
‘The incubator was burned last
n igh t,” answered the chick.
a
OREGON
S hort une
PIM PLES
back on dat m an; he didn’t have no
taste at all.
Dat man wore silver
Bliirt studs when he had a gol* front
toof.”
In­
mond on earth can Just be seen with
the naked eye. A microscope shows It
to be o f perfect water and brilliancy,
and Its actual market value is about a
cent as a diamond. As a curiosity,
however. It la worth $75.
The biggest man In the world la
Hreunl, the Swiss giant. There are sev­
eral Swiss giants, but Bretinl overtops
them all with his height o f 9 feet 7
inches, and he la a big man In propor­
tion. Ills clothes cost him $75 per suit,
and he cannot get Into an ordinary rail­
way carriage. Ills opposite—the small­
est mau nllve—Is Metruskl, the little
Hungarian, who Is Just under 3 feet
high. H e can get Into the clothes o f an
ordinary large doll, and feel small In
them. He makes more money than his
big rival, earning $10,000 a year as s
"frea k ,” while the giant Brenni only
gets $6,000.
He la accomplished, Is
much stronger In proportion than the
giant, and w ill probably last longer.
The hugest steamship afloat Just now
Is the Celtic. H er coal bunkers alone
would hold a regiment, and she makes
the Atlantic passage no more than a
ferry ride. The tiniest steamship on
earth, which will carry a human being.
Is the Thresher. Hhe la eight feet long,
decked In, anil Just carries one man,
provided he sits still. H er engines are
smaller than the works o f a grandfath­
er’ s clock, anil any part o f them can be
reached with the hands while sitting
at the wheel. H er coal bunkens are
about Ute size o f a valise.
Am ong living thing» the most vast la
a whale called the rorqual, who reach­
es the length o f 100 feet when he la
grown up, and has teeth louger than a
man’s leg. H e measures 40 feet around
the place where his waistcoat would be,
if lie had one, and he can move through
the water at the rate o f 40 miles an
hour. H e gets through about a ton o f
fish and other food per day when In ro­
bust health, to say nothing o f a seal or
two. T h e llttleet thing man has dis­
covered In the world, so far, Is a ml-
crolie called the tiiexus, o f which 100,-
000 can find standing room on the head
of a needle without crowding each oth­
er, and aa for what the creature eats It
la too small for the human brain to
grasp.
There Is a book called the “ W orthy
Bible,” which U the biggest thing of
the book kind in one volume ever yet
produced.
It Is ten feet square and
two feet thick, and contain« 30,000
pages. One may put alongside this
monster the tlnleat piece o f literature
ever published an edition o f "H a m le t”
—which Is a quarter o f an Inch square,
containing 80 page«, all printed with
perfect clearneas, and needs an expen­
sive m agnifying glass to read It.
M Z B B E B B E ia
1 b this workaday world few women
are so placed that physical exertion
is not constantly demanded o f them ic
th eir d aily life.
W e make a special appeal to mother;
o f large fam ilies whose w ork is wevei
done, and many o f whom suffer, ant1
“ M y w l f * h a d p i m p le s o n h o r ra c e , but
Clear out ol Key.
sho has been it k i n , C A S C A K K TS sod they
suffer fo r lack o f in telligen t aid.
have
all disappeared. I had been troubled
“ Lucy, where’s that other tall beau with constipation
T o women, voung or old, rich ot
for aome time but a fter tak
poor, w e extend an invitation to accept you used to have?”
In* th , first Coacaret I have bad no trouble
with
this
ailment.
W e cannot speak too high­
free advice.
Oh, women ! do not let
"Laws, Miss Nancy, I done went
"H a v e you heard a robin yet?”
To a thoughtful mind, the trust problem trigues and robberies have bad It for
"N o , but I ’ve seen a woman with is one of serious import. It must be firmly their object. It now belongs to tbs
her head tied up in a towel boating a grappled with, for it creeps upon society Ilajali o f Futtehpore. The smallest dia­
before you are aware of its existence, in
carpet in the back yard.”
this respect much resembling the various
disorders which uttack the stomach, such
I
( f e a s t h . O eegA a n d
as
constipation, illdigestion,_dvspeI»sia, bil­
W o r k . r i O -----
f f lh a C
~ o ld .
Laxative Uromo-Quinine Tablets cure a cold In iousness, liver and kidney troubles. Hos-
telters Stomach Hitters is the one reliable
one day. No cure, N o Pay. Price 26 centa
remedy for all such ailment«. He sure to
give it’a trial.
Wanted to Know.
___ch By m V
aatoa G ood. C m |
In time. Sold by druggtau.
don’t object to iffy belonging to two
Don’t W orry clubs, Henry.
Flushing (abjectly)— Oh, no, Har-
rite; but I had hoped that they would
keep you from worrying me some­
what!
000.
Three murders and
T h e T r u s t P r o b 's r a .
Vais Heps.
To Mothorm o f Flushing— A D idn't
you join another
Don’t Worry club last week, Harriet?
La rg o
Fa Mrs. Fluahi'A' — Yes; I hope you
Miss Gotrichkwick— Please, Sir, is
this a training school?
Principal— It is.
"Please, Sir, I wish to learn how to
eat olives."
Hotel Flavel
Opsos tor teoaon June 23, 1901.
Col. i. F. Harvey, Manager
I Un. Depot, knot «th St. |
Fast mall (or Kalama.
Kelso, Castle Rock. Wlu-
lock, Chehalis. Centra­
lis, South Bend, Monte-
sano, Aberdeen. Ocosta,
Olympia, Tacoma, 8eat
tie, Victoria, Pt. Town
send, Ellensburgh, Ros-
lyn. North
Yakima.
Sprague, Cheney, Spo­
kane, Pullman,
Gar­
field, Farmington. Mos­
U f i » a. m. cow, Unlontown, Gen­
esee, Rossland, B. C.:
Trail, B. C.; Nelson. B.
C .; Kalso,
Missoula,
Butte, Anaconda, Hele­
na, 8t. Paul, Minneapo­
lis, Kapsas City, Oma-
*“
Council Bluffs, 8t
fr., uia, Chicago. Wash­
ington, New York, P h il­
adelphia, Boston, and
all points East and
Southeast.
7 : » a. «
• DAYS to Minneapolis, Omaha, Kansas C
and St. Paul.
8^ DAYS to Milwauxee and Chicago.
4H DAYS to Washington, Philadelphia, N
York, Boaton, and other East*
points.
The Kind You Have Always Itought has borne the signa­
ture of Chas. H. Fletcher, and has been made under his
personal supervision for over 30 years. Allow no one
to deceive you in this. Counterfeits, Imitations nnd
“ dust-as-goo«! " are but Experiments, and endanger th«
health of Children—Experience against Experiment.
What is C A S T O R IA
Castorla is a harmless substitute for Castor Oil, Fare-
gorie. Drops and Soothing Syrups. It Is Pleasant. It
eontnlns neither Opium, Morphine nor other Nareotlc
substance. It* age is Its guarantee. It destroys Worms
amt allays Feverishness. It cures Dlarrhcra and W ind
Colic. It relieves T«*ething Troubles, cures Constipation
and Flatulency. It assimilates the Food, regulates the
Stomach and Dowels, giving healthy and natural sleep.
The Children's Panacea—The Mother's Friend.
The Kind You Have Always Bought
Bears the Signature of
TH E “ M oX T B R K Y ” OF OREGON.
Most beautiful and perfectly equipped sum­
mer re$ort. Every convenience aud comfort.
Free bus from hotel to surf. Bathing, fishing,
dancing, bowling.
A splendid hotel with
lovely surroundings. Under new management
this year For ratts and reservations address
O r J . La HUTCH ELL.
015 W x f f v a m B ldff.,
m rw
TUB SWIFT SPBCIPK COMPANY, ATLANTA. QA.
to
» errr.
lut. G«i. Put. Ag*«t,
Pirtliid, Or.
P e r l land. O re .
BO Y E A R S ’
EX P ER IEN C E
Springtime Resolutions
r\KK
T ill
Kee/ey C u re
Sure relief from liquor, opium and tobacce
habit*. Bend for particulars to
l««lp IlStitltL
M o v e d to 410 W illia m e
Ave.. East Hide.
P atents
Ocaion«
CoevmcMT* Ac
JO H N POOLE, Portland, Oregon,
Foot a I Morrison 9tr**L
Y e a rs .
A . D. C H A R L T O N ,
HOTEL FLAVEL. F I meet. O re.
Con give yon
Baggies, Blows.
1 W in d m ill* and
Machinery. 6**
F o r O v er 3 0
Baggage checked througb to destination el
ticket.
For sleeping-car reservations, tickets, map«
nnd full inform ation« call on or write
8. r. 8. 8.
the best bargains in
Boilers and Engines,
Pom ps an 1 General
a* b e fo r e baying
So. U - I N I .
V V ' H I ' w r i t i n g so s S m t l s « «
"
o a u t l M th is p a g e r.
p i....
A nvoas Bending a sketch and deacrlptkwi may
gtCcklv ascertain oar opinion fra* w bstbsr an
Invent an ib pmbRhly patsstihbls. Comm anle».
unni fit riet Ir cnna 4 antis I Handbook on P atonta
sent free. «»Id**t agency for ssrarlng potante.
Patenta «akan thr n jh Mann Jk Co. rasalvn
sppriai notice, without c
Seien
A handsomely n Tv at rated waehlr
i*
U n n i 4P*
New Tort
SB T 91-, Washington, D. U
I