Weak Lungs
Bronchitis
For over sixty years doctors
have endorsed Ayer's Cherry
Pectoral for couchs, colds,
weak lungs, bronchitis, con
sumption. You can trust a
medicine the best doctors ap
prove. Thcntrustthisthenext
time you have a hard cough.
r had '"! ennrti fne nyr a vaar en
BOII III .lll1 I" any '' ' '"''
It.r i ( l.frl I'wlnr.l and .1 K"n !.
1 ,.ii. man.) II I., all n fllai "It t.nr
TtilS
h1-
Ih.y hata I
WthiOLB,
y Mad
if
hi J 0 Ar.rr. , l,o.ll, Ml
. eta4ulurera f
7 SRSPAILU.
PJ0 puis.
aver a pins anep me oownn roajuitat
Ail vesctsbie nr. gently laxative.
ralM Preteaea.
He 1rrtiMHl for boarders wbo
Jked peschea,"
"Well?"
"Well, I went there for tbe sunr
tier." "And didn't be bsv any pssehes?"
"Ob. there was a whola orchard of
teaches, but there wasn't a girl on the
ilace." Houston Puat
wtit the Aaeleats.
Tha Greek commands wu aiakiaf the
llreult of the walla of Trov. iook.af for
t vulnerable spot, when bia automobile
(tuck (ait ia tba mud.
"tie a bora !" Jeered tha Trojaa sen
tinels on tbe walla.
Smarting undar thalr ridicule, he went
ind built a huge wooden hot. Tba raat
history.
Kdivlatfa Ksplaaattoa.
Kdwln, aged 3, wbo fondled bla small
fat overmuch and unwlnely, appeared
before bla mother one day, bm little
fare guiltily pained and a aratcb upou
bla hand.
"What happened?" she aked.
"I beat the kitty a little," be an Id,
briefly.
Unlit thai War.
"What do you think of tlieae minh
room bala the woinco ar wear.ng?" ak-
d tba party of tba firat part, aa over
lord at the street corner.
"Tbcy'ra not aa had aa tha honrytnooa
laf." aaid bia confederate in crime.
"Tba honeymoon hat?"
"Yea; big enough for two."
Until recently the most convenient way
tf getting from England to Japan was hy
way of Vancouver, a journey of twenty
four daja. Thia time baa been rut down
to aerenteen daya by way of Ituxaia. It
la expected to still further rut I bit time
when the Ruaxiun government lays a
double track across tbe country.
His Pie If oral aa Ameaded.
"My platform," ahouted tbe orator,
bringing kia flat down with a resounding
thwack on the deck before him, "is, 'Leave
well enough alone !' "
"Beg pardon," whispered the chairman
of tee mMtlnt. an mlvwi Mnatoa eltw
n, pulling bia coat taila gently. " 'I-et
well enough alone' is the preferable form."
Trade that Kill.
One of the moat dangerous of trade,
a.vordli.g to the iMgrlm. "la the cover
lug of 'y animals with aklu. chamois
liili.r Lain used, for Instance, tot
the elephants, cslf.kin for the bre,
1 fii
an. I v.,.iraLlll fur 111 CMIUM
...v-n.. .r ..f .ure dt without
..ilu 1.. i,.i natural, so the
, en model la drat di.-d Into glue, then
' aprnmied wiiu cn..5k dtwt: "
aklu la put on. The chalk la ao Bee
that It Una tbe air and la drawn Into
the throat and lung A year of thia
sort of work eften results la death.
Another very Injurloua toy la tbe rub
ber balloon. Tbe fumes and solvents
u-. In reducing aheet ruhlr to the
.L. ..-t.il.. rt.talnlna' Ita
uei-eKary miunrae .
strength aud the delug of the bril
liant yellows, greens aud purple are
must of tbeia prisonous.
I Aa lafalllale Srea.
I rirat Student What, you fereaaw
that our tailor, poor chap, weuld
in s dt . .
The Reeond-Sure; oa tbe Bth ol
last month he wunted aouie money
from n.e!-Tranliited fer Tranaatlae
tic Talee from Megjcndorfer Blaetter.
riareare Klf".
"I din't take any stock in tbe pnifes
tlen of these politician," the visitor was
remarking. "They've all got eome se.flB
..heme te put tareugh. You never caa
tell what a man has up his sleeve."
"I can. Mr. Jtiies." aaid little Clar
ence, butting Inte the conversation.
"You've got a eirty cuf up yeiua. I
.aa see It."
Whea It Rle.
Teacher (of geography cla) Namt
tbe larsent cily en ih Ohie river.
SUaggy Haired I'upil Cincinnati,
aia'am: but it ain't on the Ohio rivet
only part of the time.
Teacher Indeed ! Where Is It the real
ef the time?
Shaggy Haired Tupil In It.
'ADVICE TO VICTIMS
BELMA'S PEXFEP.EXC3.
PImmI IllaueJf.
Mlsa Canatlqne You evidently have
a pieaaant disposition, Mr. Saplelgh. At
least you aeeaa to be easily pleased.
gaplelgh Why do you aw think I
am aw easily pleased?
Miss Oauetlque By the way In wMoa
you laugh at eome of your wn re
narka. Oa Aeeeaat a( Dltaaoa.
Visitor And you have been feeding
the doga, Bobby? Oracloual All of
them are wagging their tails with the
exception of the dachahund.
Bobby Oh. be will wrg bli tall after
a while. You aee It takes a long time
for his good humor to get from bli
bead to bis tall.
After He'd Ba leataaeed.
Lawyer (In courtroom) What tlms
have you got, plae?
Trimmer (at trial table) I can't tall
you until after tun trial
C. Gee Wo
"U Tha well knnwa rallnhla
ft fill IMF
VlllllbJb
Root and Herb
DOCTOR
l ttimlp lift atnrlr f
htkI hi-rlm nni In thwl
ly rl iMUVfri'l Hnl im kiv
M-laVidwM I M I If tllr-.lui
In Mrrcury, Pnivons r Drug. lid-Hc Currt
Without OprtM(on, or Without I lie Aid of Hntl
lit stiinriiiitH In i'nr t'ntttrrh. Art tints. Lung.
rtiriMt. KlHMinialtiarTl. NtrVfiiianHs. NtTMMlw ltitv.
(MtiHfh l,i-r, Ki lnHf I rx.-ii ln- n-n ,-t MainLouti.
fuitMal W i'Hk lie" nl All lri h1 ln'Hn.
A SUKE CANCER CURE
mt Received from Pi'kint. ( kina Safe. Sara
and Rrllable.
ir von ark ah n"i i ii. ixiy-T delay.
IiKLAVM AKK IiaNi.KUDI m.
COINSUL.TATION I lvi:ij
'X 7' p.Bnnt mil. writ fnrrtrptn Hlnnk and rlrea
Iiip In. lo-a ! .r' n .n i.
thfo i.r.p. o i't:ishKaiMiiiNrcn.
St 1 2 t irat Hi , Cor M.irriMin. l'urtluit, Orvtfno.
flau M.nilon Thia l'iir.
Catarrh
Is a Constitutional Disease J
It orii;imit'S in impure blood ana
requires coiiHtitiuiniittl treatment, acting
through and purifying the blood, tor iu
radictil .and pi rinaui-nt -cute. lus
sr.MMi ennatltuttonal retneuy M
Hood's Sarsaparilla
In usual liquid form or in chocolated tab
let known a6arsatabS. l(XJdo.HP$l.
Nasal and other local forma of catarrh
are promptly relieved by Antiseplets or
fJatarrlutK, ., (lruirKWia or nmi,
C. I. Hood Co., Lowell, Mass
SPECIAL HOLIDAY OFFER!
Mull a my smew
tiifMiir with i wt
orler for SI nd
mm will Mml you
bvitiit if ill photo
lHruDiont of twin,
frninl In hBl
nu-t- frnmt like 'ut:
ottiili nifruur nl
frftiitsi L'xln inch
We .( nil ol
rnlnnfiny end kolAb
ItUS READERS HOW TO fROMPTlV
CDRI RNtuMATliM AT HoMf.
Direction, to MU Simple Prep-at.
and the Doa to Take Over
cornea Kidney whI BUdder
Trouble Promptly.
There ia so much Rheumatipm STery.
rheie that the follow log advice; by an
eminent authority, who wre.ior ru
era of a large Kaatern daily Jper, will
be highly appreciated by
tuffer:
Uet from any good phaimacy one half
ounce Fluid Kitract Dandelion, one
3unce C mpound Kargon, three ounces
f romnound Hyrup Karaapar.lla.
Shake theee well la a bottle and take
in ti.aBnoonful donee alter eacn meal
n.l at benltime: also drink plenty of
mui water.
It ia olaimed that there few victims
it this dread and torturous disease wbo
will fait to nnd ready relief in tms
tlmple home made mixture, and in
most cases a permanent core S tbe re-
alt.
This simple rectpe is said to strength
na and cleanse the eliminative tlsaues
)l the Kidneys to that they can filter
md strain from the blood and system
:he poisons, acids and watte matter
ahicb cause not only Kheuanatitki, but
aumrrous other diseases. Every man
ar woman here who feels that their kid
neve are not healthy and active, or who
suffers from any nnnary trouble what-
iver, should not nesitute to make up
this mixture, as it is certain to do
much good, and may save you from
much misery and suffering after while.
Takes at Hta Ward.
Master Walter, aged 0, kad aatea tbe
sort portions ef his toast at breakfast.
anel piled the crusts on his plate.
Wbeo I was a little boy." remarked
bla father, wbo sat opposite kirn, "I al
ways ate the erne's of my toast."
"Did you like themf lugulred his
effwprlna;, cheerfully.
"Tea," replied the parent
"Tou may have these," said Master
Walter, pushing his p!ate across the
table. Harper's Weekly.
$100 Reward, $100.
The readera of thia t aper will ba stream) to
ram tn at there ia at let one JrvadiJ dmeaiMi
hat aclence baa been able to cur IB all In
iiaxri, and that la Catarrh. Haifa Catarrh
Jure la the only poeltlv curennw known to in
meilU'ftl fraternity. Catarrh Ua n a conttltu
lional dUvaae. requirm a eimaitlutlonal trt-at-nnnt
llaU'sCatarrhCureta.aken internally,
wtinn directly in Ihehlondand mucnuaur-
out
heavairm, therehv dmt'uylngtbelo.iif
if the rit-ftoe, andglvlnat e pat enl
hy I'liiMinii nuthe ronstltu lon and
uumtine: nature In (inlli ita work. The prn-
rnutnr have an much luitli tn lt' uratly"pw-
naren noiiaraairany
jm hat they ffer One Hi!
"in that It fails to
rare, bend for 111 of
leetlmohiall.
JkllreaK J. CHENEY CO., Toledo, l.
Kulil by all druiialma, 7V.
Take Uall's Faiui.y Cilia for constipation.
Mora Appropriate.
.'T.oing to pny simie of your son
Otto's bills?" liiURlied tbe caller.
"Yea," alghed the tienevolent father,
"Otto la a very wild youth. ' I should
have called hltn Auto."
"Autor
"Yea; he'a rocb an expermlve aport,
and It won't be long before he wlli be
a broken-down sport"
.aa Liked ike F.asu.k Thai Soaad--
'h lllaker.
The first day Helma came abe niude
gingerbread, ami jiut eleven teMspoou
fuls of soda In it.
"Tou ask tiie 'Ifvpn she explained
to her dlnupi.,iiwl uilslrena as they
mrveyed together i1(! .i,.k!y i-olored re
sult.
"No, Beliua, 1 salj one. On. 1 muai
have said 'a lev, teaaiMiiful." "
That's so," belma agreed, triumph
antly. "She looks so sweet and bright." Mrs.
VankurHti iimtMeU to ber husbsnd
thut night, "that I clu-t help glvitig
her credit tut uiur lutelllgeui'e than
the hue."
"Oh, I Imagine ( intelligence Is
there," he answered. "It takes pa
tience, of oourw., to teach tbeiu, but she
eouiprolieuded perfwtly when I siHike
to her."
"Yes: sud unit did you sny? 'Good
evening?' You'd have a merry time,
though, teucblng ber to cook, with your
vouabulury. iour uiotlier told me her
self thut even y.iur buby talk was in
words of three syllables."
"Nmiaeuae:" Dm he laughed as he
said It,
A month bad passed when Mrs. Van
kuran cuuie aiulllug luto her husband's
study.
"I've Just had one of my ridiculous
encounters with Seliua." she said. "I
noticed the three layers of her cake
spread out iu tbe pantry, and aaid, 0
Seluia, you burned oue, didn't you?
That's too bud; To my surprise, she
straightened up and answered, 'No.'
'Why, yes,' I told her. 'Don't you see
this black edger 'Yea,' she said, 'I
see burned, but not too bad.' I thought
she was being saucy, so I rebuked her.
and she got Solemn, and 1 don't know
where It might have led If she hadu t
happened to say, almost with tears,
'.Not two bad one bad.'"
"There's s lewtou for you, though,"
Mr. Vankurun rejoined, after the
laiiKh. "I'd siikrireet that you avoid
Idiomatic expressions."
At thut luataut Scltna apenred In
the doorway to any that the Chinese
laundrytuan was there, and wanted to
know how soon he must bring back Mr.
Vaukuruu'a linen.
"Tell him there's no Immediate ex'
Igeney," the master of the bouse re
plied, carelessly, and bent to his writ
lug. while Belma stared.
"No hurry, Belma," Mrs. Vankursn
supplemented, but before the door had
fairly closed behind the girl she turn
ed on her husband. "Of all messages
to scud to a Chinaman by Selma !
'No Immediate exigency, " she quoted.
merrily. "When you've studied Anglo-
Saxon simplicity as long as I have.
sir, I'll ask your advli-e about Idioms
and things."
It was undeniably her hour of tri
umph, but her bumbled husband would
have given mucli to hear a little dia
logue which took place between mis
tress and maid the next day.
"Mr. Vankurm talk nice Kngllsh
more nlca as Mn. Vaukuran," the girl
announced, calm.i. I
"What makes r think moV
"Oh, his wonla kniud so hlk'h! I
like rer much learn his Knglisb."
Youth's Com pu lion.
II vlaiklaftaa Were 'twere.
Two promlueut society women f
fl'ashlngton were sested In the gallery
reaerved for tlie families of Congress
men. 1
What a grind body of men! ei-
I claimed the younger of the two euthu-
alaatlcallv.
- . . . i i ..i. . 1 1 .. i i .
'IK you think eof asked the Other Happiness aim rum iniiis uii i mow.
demurely. leuge or ine woriu s ucst pro nics.
"Why. of course I do. Bee how alert ! products of actual exct Hi n e an1
nd busineeslike tiiey aie. I a;a sura . rvaaoiiablo claims truthfully pu s. iit J
One of the
Essentials
ot the happy comes of to-day It a
vast fund of Informal i;-i as to the
beat methods of promoting l,i a't!i ui.d
iV
Twa A ere Varaas.
Ia Belgluns a two-acre holding Is
aufflclent to snalataln a farmer and bla
fiunlly. The typlesl two-acre farm In
Hard Kaavrh.
Tbe aumerous "help" who have "had
had good characters but lent them" are
worse off than the dauiei.tle asea-
tloned la Illustrated Bits, whose search
for aaployaaeat was hindered by aa
outeward circumstance. Said tbe mu
ter of tbe beuse to aa applleaat:
"Caa't yen lad any werk st alir
"Plasty, sir; but everybody wants
refereo6ee frees soe last employer."
"Cas't yeu get thamT"
"No, sir. lias beea dead tweaty
eight years."
Te Break In New Shoes.
Alway hake in Allen'a Fnot-Eane, a powder
It run. hut, awt-ating, achlnf, awollen feet
tiri'i riiriin, inruwing naili and bunlom. Al
til itregiitia and aiio aieri-s, D.iut accen
iiit ul..titutB. amlemalirIFKEt. AUdreai
Allen B.01mntel, L Uoy, N. Y.
Areardlast to Itnlaa.
Pentry You can't leave.
Soldier Tut I have the captain's
oral permission.
Bentry (Importantly) Let's
II Motto per Rldere.
LEQAL KT01IATI05.
One who wrongfully obtains from a
tranxportatlun compiay possesMlon of
It) naKXnite to which be It nut eutltled, by
placing the wrong clwok on It, with
I Intent to appropriate it to his own use,
Diatrict Attorney Jerome of New Tort 1 held. In Aldrlch vs. Peonle (111 ). 7
mre) "W sinu atvifta . , - (
r."!;"'a"m. to'Sl ' "'"""' rnaj : L. R. A. (N. S.) 1140, to be guilty of
":.MJ!inn"M,id , 'stinr. cooking strange di.bea and making ' larceny.
larniiure. i
The conductor of t freight train Is
jjr relura ai-
CEO. M. STRONG
U1W Pi.kSl.
PortUad, Orrcoi
P. H. U.
N. 4 -07
tyilKM wrlllna to ad vt.rtlara plaaae
IT menilfin thia fmper.
NGRAVING Write Us
PLATES
TOR PRINTING
MICKS-CH ATTEN
Portland Oregon
l. Vitn ra and all Wrrvnoa Dtaoaaai
nuy rurwi rv nr. Klme'a Url
rmrn n,r rnr.h. I trial bntUan
P"T Si. Vitna
ff 10 Prmanai
rirv Hainrwr.
IraaiiM. iir. H. U. k in.. UL. lul Arch bu. Piill..!-,
improve
Your Bakind
K C BaWnrr Powder will do It ! Get
a caa Try it for your favorite cake. If
It dpesn't raise better, more evenly, higher,
if It isn't daintier, more delicate in flavor'
we return your money. Everybody
agrees K C has no equal.
tar .ess' I J
IIM &
If
Ult.afl'
BAKIWG
POWDER
Pure, Wholesome,
' Economical.
W. L. DOUGLAS
$3.00 & $3.50 SHOES T;;Vo.
-jsmois ton tvr nr MiMsre orv
TMjrM LV. T 111 e,rf.fi
$25,000 I ""-"eweevV.l
Reward ) w ohm
rnr. RFKS W . Po.,I .I,.,, wm hy more r.nrl.
In all walk, odife than any ni'iar mate l. Iierauaa ol thir
eirvilvnt aivle. enev-ninng. an 1 .niairi r v.n i( qualm..
1 h.U-rfn.n oflh.l.nh.r. an. I o'lir material for aa fr
o the tin anrl erv !. I of the muiai i . Inohe l after bv
lh.r.l aorapleieoraariiiaiinnot au:naia.l.n'. loraineaaa l
iuimi-ii.muin, woo rvapive lba biaIM. wacv. ri Im i u
weul.lthea an.k-rx... hy laev k.T
ar one" ami am nf a'r .l le l.ai any mner make
Sb"i adunrr. and ho eonmuihip raaaot Mmild
If I eeuld tali voa at ravlaraaf aoinnaa al Hrarktaa Ma
an.l.Ko you hn eanifully W. .. 1om a. thmt are aiaaa yea
k.J.I iheiraharw. Si batter,
thi itfWMr make
' ' - .
rfoe W I. liooabas tbiw. Tf heaa.? ? " T"
Mr 04.OO ft.OO OUT COOtShm i
CUIION TlwaaaiuiM hay W T.. loee
lea t.ui. I.
Setaaaary.
Aa ynur d
aeaieyeyliare
Aa Arllat.
"The man who painted that spuri
ous picture was sn srtlst. at all
vents," aaid the connoisseur.
"I don't know about him," answered
Mr. t'mnrox ruefully, "but the desler
who sold It to me was." Washington
Star.
held. In Vaor vs. Atlantic Coast Line
U. C. (N.C.),7I. B.A. (X. S.) 0.-H),
to have no Implied authority to engage
the services of a persiD to assist In
liandllug freight, for which he Is to
ret'elve passage on tl) trsln, so as to
qtltle such person. In case of his In
lury, to bold the carrier liable to ao
mployer.
To determine the degree of the crime
f one who by menus of false connec
tions conveva irna ar..,tiwt hla meter and
"uM It npon his property without
tunag in. wetnwg period. having It measured. It is held, in Woods
vs. Teojile (III.). 7 I. It. A. (X. S.)
fill), that the taking during each day
Is not to be regarded as a separate of
fense, but that the value of the gns
wrongfully consumed during the period
during which the fnlse ctmii''tlou Is In
use at one time will be cuiiildered.
The trespass necessnrj tcV constitute
larceny Is held. In Toimlewskl vs. State
(Wis.), 7 I It. A. (X. 8.) T.Vt. to be
absent where a property owner, upon
being informed of a design to steal his
property, places it upon s platform
where the Intending thief Is planning
to get It, with Instructions to his serv
ant In chnrge of the platform to de
liver It to tlie one who will call for
It, so that when the Intending thler
srrlves he Is treated as having a right
to the property.
lea perfect.
Antomoblllst Say. I w.nt this mask
changed. It doosu't cover my face euf.
floleutly.
Clerk-Put It's the regular thing. '
Automobll 1st Can't help that, I find
that the people I run over are apt to
regnlie me.
SINKS AND DRAINS A FREQUENT
,. CAUSEJDFTYPHOID.
'urify These and You Will Be Safe From
Contagion,
HSINFECTINS THE ONLY PREVENTIVE
ma. k SIMPLE, SAFE AND SURE METHOD
mm'rPe0"' bra''" rWn- sad free
rom verm Influenre. I, , ,,(
lil. e there I. no oor.,,0,, for alarm. It I. al
,.v, . to , ,,,,, on ;
.i"?'.'??"' '"".ntlon t, B Than a
ta. el h,
lior dirfct at
lie human im
H' rai hii l
"''"I" a. a Mintl
I'lnwiirintl irn
.m ,T 'n'rirr-yl barmleea to
"em. than I. Il.irav.
n"n an'i ua.d for "ner-
o'l-i preyMntlve l.t,.il
l.ltl Hobbr aa Beee.
Little Hobby wrote an essny on bees
as follows:
"The bee Is a queer sort of an l
sect, that gives people a few points
that they don't atinrpriata The nueen
hZ" lr.:'t';'M bo"ap ib J.mt like tn t-es
hoiiiw. ins urone bee IS like pa;
tie don t care much about work. There
sre other kinds of ,.. including po
litical bees, quilting beo and husking
bees. Hut the best beea of all are th
kissing beee. There Is a kissing bee
tn our parlor every Sunday night and
1 get a nickel not to tell shout It
w nen It comes to a choice, of bees, give
me a kissing bee every time." Chic
go News.
A freak.
John, what was that swful noise In
the bathroom Just now J"
TJont worry, my dear," replied
John, aleevlly. "it was merely a crash.
mwei rsiiing.- Mllwaokee rtIoel.
. Most of us go through life on this
principle: If we AWf, hnrry we will
"u.lul,M.. , """"'Sirorii uncleanly
lealnl ZnJ,lTn"''y, ' sni
r.n.ni,,n of i,, i. i "'Intlon tn th
H..,.. L " n'1 who raome.
erl... ' i J. n, ." ."""1 'or num.
irtir.e la the en..h... ""''will clan eyerv
t hruh" i n!,,l 1 ' r.l.nin rm,e d make
Adaiatybook In eou. -.n.j
laat" will k.... . ' Jlale
?Jswi?rrss
W PMIM aa a. .
Utm. win, sv. " "-mm.i9ir
ss m tTAsBtsfL Airf. Sk..
Revet Itlll.
Tnej," called Ur. Harkec, fM the
front porch, "where is that bahyt Just
now he was In the dining room, then
I saw hin la the parlor and bow he
haa vanished again."
"There he Is oat oa the front steps,"
replied Mrs. Harfcer with a smile.
Oh, George, Isn't be a picture 7
n a l Tea, regular moving pie.
rare."
"Is be a man wbo uses good Judg
ment?" "Excellent. Hut be always
puta It to uae about a day too late."
Milwaukee Sentinel.
Itolllngstoue NomoMi Tea; I uster
lie a poet Tatteredon Torn I often
wondered bow you got your stsrt.
rhlladelphla Iteoord.
Lady (age 7) How much Is that,
please? Stallholder (st booth of church
fair, sge 0) How much haa your
mother given you to spend? 1'utich.
Friend What's tbe matter, old boy?
You look dlsapiiolnted. Algy I thought
I bad apiendlcltls, hut the doctor said
It wss only Indigestion. Court Jour
nal.
Tatlence They say your brother
used to have great luck as a fisherman.
I'atrlce Yea, he did have. Nearly v
erybody used to believe him. Youkers
Statesman.
"Yon lire nuUlde of the city limits?
low far outside?" "(loudness knows.
! don't It's about fifteen minutes the
Other side of where the map stops."
"hlcago Tribune.
Landlord (to new tenant) I suppose
you would reoulre a bathroom In the
house? Teuant Ob, we dou't need a
bathroom. We go to sea every year.
efeggendorfer Itlaetter.
Uttle Willie Suy, I'a. what Is the
I i (Terence between "well" and "good?"
I'a I have noticed, my son, that about
the only time you are good Is when you
,re not well. Denver rot,
"Yes, sir," said the man In cell 711.
"time was when I was admitted to the
ery best bouses." "And what brought
you here?" "They caught me coming
out." Youkers Statesman.
Miss diddle So she's really engaged
to Mr. Sllmui. Ihi you think he's really
a good match? Miss Knox Well, he's
s regular stick, sud he's got a red
head! New York Daily Mall.
Harold I aupjiose, I'ucle George, you
objwt to these things because I lunale
tlu amok. I'ncla llMirire. Vot at all.
lnv bov. I ohlect to tliejn because vou I yard.
ethiile th aaioke Milwaukee SeutU Dl 1 know I did,
net.
"What's that you're so busy writ
ing? You're regularly perspiring over
it." "My wife Is giving an address on
'Women's Hlghts' to-morrovr; and I am
preparing It for her." Lustlge Blaet
ter. Dolly No, I won't wash my face. I
Just hate te wash my face! Grand
ma Naughty, naughty ! When I was
s little girl I always washed my face.
I hilly Yes, sn' now look at It! Cleve
land Lender.
"Frau Lehmann was saying some aw
ful things about you ye: terday." "Well.
did you stick up for me?" "Oh. no, I
wanted to hear It all, so that I could
tell you about It afterwards." riu
geude Itlaetter.
Mr. Orthodoxer Hut surely, sir. Dr.
Ileirlar doesn't advertise? The Ldltor
Well, no, not directly, but when busi
ness Is dull he often sends me a cneck
for Inserting pie and pastry recipes.
Llpplncott's Magazlue. '
The Hev. J. Tut, tut! How dare
you come before me and ask me to mar
ry you when he Is In that disgraceful
condition? Would Ite-Urlde Weel, sur.
plciist, sur, he'll no come when hes
sotier. Illustrated Hits.
Lawyer And do you thluk that the
-t.h .mi. arira
man wno nas run nj j"
bruiuMi her aome time? Husband-
No, he can't have known her long. oW
he would never have run away wun
her. Meggendorfer Hlsetter.
Diner Walter, bring me ft cutlet.
and also a big bone ror my aog. i
will nay extra for that Walter Yea,
sir. Diner (when the cutlet arrives)
Wliere Is the bone for the dog? w alter
In the cutlet sir. Meggendorfer
Ulaetter.
I supimse you vlsltetl all the points
... IV
Gorge WssUlngton could coiae uses and which have attained to world-
to Cougresa be would be proud of such , wj0 acceptanco through the approval
a dsxallng sHacIe." ' of the Well Informed of the World;
"I fear, deer," remarked the elder of , ....
a tear, u , ., mot of Individuals only, tut of tlie
the two seriously, "that ir George .
Wa.blntoa were to come back aud see W-T 've the happy faculty , f
Coctfress he would lose 00 time In do-, selecting and obtaining the best tie
liverin- another farewell address." world anord.
Llpplncott's.
One of tbe 1 products of that c!as,
of known component parts, an Ethical
remedy, approved by physician and
commended by the Well Informed of
! tbe World as valuable and whole-
1 ... M ir ...Hua I .1 I n. x. 1 I I .
that country coatalns a patch ef wheat . ' . . ... . nn,
or rye aad another of barley. Another get , boneflclaI e(f(.Pls aways t)uy
fair portion grows potatoes. A row of j,e genuine, manufactured bytbs
cabbage grows all round on the sloping ; California Klg Syrup Co., only, and
sides of the ditches, with a row of for sale by all leading druggists.
unlans Just outside, leaving bare walk-1
Ing room between them and tbe grain.
The ahade trees round the bouse are
pear trees. Every foot of lend Is made
to produce, aad tbe faraier keepe pigs
snd chickens.
Bfreaaaaa Manae CwaalaaT
"IlaUy snackerel !" excluliued the
freckled lad who waa peering over the
rail of the drawbridge. "Just look how
yer brother Petey can swliu. Why, b
an go like a caaoe."
"Yep," replied the other lad. solemn
ly, "and he remJads me ef a canoe. "
'"Oanoe ate caa glide ao good?"
"Naw, 'eaaae he Is going to get pad
dUtd whea he gets home."
Faoalalaltv.
There oace wae a maid named McGianity,
Tbe fairest ene ia tbe vicinity,
Phe leved a yeusg man
Names Patrick McGano
Hut wedded a rich eld affinity.
Hlx Tou aaid your gun would shoot
Illxr Ifa marked to shoot only 430
yards
Dlx I know, but there are two bar
rel.
THE MAN MO SWEARS BY
THE FISH BRAND SLICKER
is the man who
has tried to get
the same service
out of some
other make
cwi:e
AWS'JJO
Clean L Ignt Dura We
Guaranteed TVer proof
OJwl Sold Every here
D
ULraJ
'?a r.iiSv'i -' 11'
of interest while you were abroad?'
said one young woman, "No," answered
the other, "we were so busy addressing
post cards to our friends that we
hadn't time to do mucu sigiseeiiiK.
Washington Star.
"The great corporations which con
trol general necessities," said the man
of unusual theories, "should lie regard
ed merely as servants of the public."
Yes," answered the weary-looking cm-
... . . trlaH trt Anlltml
ten, out nine juu r-.
a house full of servants? asiungwn
Star.
Mrs. Gadsby And you liked Home
heat of all the Eurotsnn cities you vis
ited? Mrs. Newrlche ( enthusiastical
ly )ifs far suix-rlor to all tbe others.
Whv my dear, in Home one ran uuy
souvenir postals for a penny that cost
two or three times as much anywnere
else. ruck
"To-morrow," announced R-year-old
Sidney, proudly, to his kindergarten
teacher. "Is my birthday." 'Why," re-
rned she. "it Is mine, too." The boy's
face clouded with perptexl'7. nd, aft
er a brief silence, he exclaimed : "How
did you get so much blgger'n mc?"
Llpplncott's Magnzine.
No Geoffrey," protested tbe beau
tiful girl, "yu mustn't do that I have
never allowed a young man to put his
srm sround my waist" "Thst being
the case, Gwendolen," he snswered,
aadly. but with Inexorable firmness,
"vou will have to take your head off
my shoulder." Chicago Tribune.
Flaarraaaa'e Lark.
The Judge For two yenrs you men
have fished together, peaceably, and yet
vou fought over this fish,
The SiKirtsmao You see, your hon
or this Is the first one we ever caught
Translated for Transatlantic Tale
from Meggendorfer Itlaetter.
He Kite Waat'e laalda.
ping What are you ordering, old
man?
Bang Chicken pte. Join me?
Blnff All right ; IU lef It wlUh ywa,
A Sabatltate.
"Teu're rather a young man to be
left In charge of a drug store," asld
tbe fuasy old gentleman. "Have you
any diploma T" "Why er no, sir."
replied the drug clerk, "but we have
a preparation of our own that's Just as
rood." Philadelphia Press.
The Kind You Have Always llnurrlit lii borna the Biirii-i-tlire
of CbttS, II. Fletcher, anil liun tn waiie .. 'z
personal sunerviMou iir atvt-t- y-i. ... .
to deceive you In thin. CnuntcrfclU, Imitations, anl
JiiHt-as-frood" are but Kx pert men t, and endanrer tua
health of Children lixperlence against ljzperituvuu
What is CASTORIA
CastoHa is a harmless substitute for Castor Oil, l'nre
aorlc, lrop and Hothliijr Syrup. It i l'leasimt. It
coutaiua neither Opium, Morphine nor other .Narcotic
substance. Its aee Is Its guarantee. It destroys Voriii
and allays Fcverishness. It cures Diarrhoea and lna
Colic. It relieves Teethlnsr Troubles, cure Constipation
and Flatulency. It assimilates the Food, regulate" the
Stomach and ltowels, Bivlner healthy and natural sleep.
The Children's PanaceaThe .Mother's Friend.
The Kind You Haye Always Bouglit
Bears the Signature of
Use For Over 30 Years.
icavaua aaaieaav. TT aueaav avacaT. annn erry.
Ever Tfcae.
"Whst has come over the spirit of
Haskln's dreams?" queried Raymond.
"He has quit talking agnlnst magnates
and trusts."
"He bought his first block of sfocfc
last week," replied Haskln's partner,
conclusively.
RHEUlViLATIS
M
CAN NOT BE RUBBED AWAY
It Is perfectly natural to rtib the spot that hurts, und when the mtiscle.
nerves, joints and bones are throbbing' and twitching" witli the pains of
Rheumatism tlie sullerer is apt to turn to the liniment bottle, or some other
external application, In an effort to get relief from the disease, by producing
tounter-irritation oa the flesh. Such treatment will quiet the pain tempo
rarily, but (tan have no direct curative effect on the real disease because it
does not reach the blood, where the cause is located. Rheumatism is mora
than etin deep it is rooted and grounded in the blood and can only ba
reached by constitutional treatment IT CANXOT BR RUBBED AWAY.
Rheumatism is due to aa excess of tiric acid ia the blood, brought about by
the accumulation ia the system ef refuse matter which the natural avenues
of bodily waste, the Bowels and Kidneys, have failed to carry oft. Ihis
refuse matter, comiasr ia contact with the different acids cf the body, forms
uric acid which is absorbed into the blood and distributed to all parts cf tha
body, and Rheumatism gets possession of the system. The aches and pains
are only symptoms, and though they may be scattered or relieved for a time
by surface treatment, they will reappear at the first exposure to cold or
dampness, or alter an attack: ct Indigestion or other irregularity. Kiicuma
ti.m can never be permanently cured while the circulation remains saturated
with irritating, pain-producing uric acid poison. The disease will shift
from muscle to muscle or joint to joint, settling oa the nerves, causing
Inflammation and swelling and such terrible pains that the nervous system
is often shattered,' the health undermined, and perhaps the patient becomes
deformed and crippled for life. S. S. S. thoroughly cleanses the t loxl and
renovates the circulation by neutralizing the acids and expelling all foreign
maueruomuie system, it warms and invigorates the blood so tliat msn-aa
cf a weak, sour stream, constantly deposit
ing acrid and corrosive matter ia the mus
cles, nerves, joints and bones, thebody is fed
and nourished by rich, health-sustaining
blood which completely and permanently
cures Rheumatism. 8. S. S. is composed
f both purifying and tonic properties
Inst what is needed in everv case, of Rheu
matism. It contains no potash, alkali or other mineral ingredient, but is
made entirely of purifying, healing extracts and juices cf roots, herbs and
barks. If you are suffering from Rheumatism do not waste valuable time
trying to rub a blood disease away, but begin the use of 8. S. S. and write
as about your case and our physicians will give yon any information of
adTkcdeaued free of charge and will send our special treatise on Rheumatism,
tiux a win tpcctno co atuwta, oa.
PURELY VEGETABLE
"' Te..
Harvard Lampoon.
aw save iud to take a reek