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About Hillsboro independent. (Hillsboro, Washington County, Or.) 189?-1932 | View Entire Issue (Sept. 7, 1906)
For Thin. Poor Blood You cm trust a medicine tested 60 ye.rt ! Sixty yeirs of experience, think of thtt! Experience with Ayer's Sir sip.rill.; the original Sarsa parilla; the strongest Sarsapa rilla; the Sarsaparilla the doc tors endorse for thin blood, weak nerves, general dtMIity. Bat mm rhU grm I4 MriM eaanot 4 It aa.t work if th ur 1. Iumut an4 th. hwu eon.tlpat. r tha kl paa.lnl ra. alt, yamhouid irnk. t.i.n,. 4n. of Af.r'. fllla hll. Ukini th Sr.arlll.. Th Iwat Ula,iuealy I pwa4, aa4 m U1 tha auwla. tfJ.O rr Co., Lowell. A Aim buuh kuwCMtunr f All VtOOt, AOIB CURB. CWJUtY PECTtMtAL. ygrs WHO OWNS THE NORTH LANDS' ! KmiitUI AnlU, bat Vry lataraatlae;. Tbe voyage of tbe Canadian govern went cruiser Arctic to the far north auggeeta for consideration tba quea tlon of tba ownership of aouia far northern lands. For many years ex plorera of varloua nationalities, Brit ish, American, Scandlnarian and others, bar Tentured Into tbe frozen wlldernesa lying between tbe dominion of Canada and tba north pole, and bar thar discovered landa hitherto no known, and bava named them and planted Caga upon them. There baa been much International rivalry In tbe work of elaborating tbe arctic map and of pushing on toward tbe pole. But there baa been little thought in tbe ml nils of tbe adventurers or In that of the public of tbe delimitation of In ternatlonal boundaries In tbe realms of paleocryatlc ice and eternal anow. But now tbe Canadian government brings that thought to mind In tbe Intimation that tbe dominion extends clear to tba north pole, and that all the lands which have been discovered and explored In tboae regiona, no matter by whom, are under the Brltiab dag. Academically, the question la eome- wbat complicated, and might form tbe aublect of Interminable argument There are tboae who bold that dlscov- ery and exploration give title to ncw landa, while others Insist that title la not perfected without actual occupation and permanent settlement . But bow If tbe landa In question are not lit for or susceptible of settlement T New Tork Tribune. WORN TO A SKELETON. A Wonderful Restoration Caused a Sensation in a Pennsylvania Town Mrs. Charles M. Preston of E'itland. Pa., says: "Three yeare ago I found that my housework waa becoming a burden. 1 tired easi ly, bad no ambition and waa fading faat. My complexion got yellow, and I lost over 60 pounds. My thirat waa terrible, and there waa aogai in tbe kidney secre tions. Mr doctor kept me on a strict diet, bat as bia medicine waa not helping me I began using Doan'a Kidney Pilla. They helped me at once, and soon all tracea of aatrar disappeared. I have regained my former weight and am perfectly well. Bold by all dealera. 60 cents a box Foeter-Milbu'n Co., Buffalo, N. Y. Crlmlaal aaeestaaT. Great public Interest is being mjnl feated In tbe case of a man who bai been prosecuted for sneering In a pub lic atreet Tbe hero of tbe Incident It one Johann Furtmann, a resident ot Muhlhauaen, a amaU town In Prussian Saxony. Furtmann, wbo la highly re- enacted by his fellow cltlaena, sneeaed somewhat loudly la tbe main atreet ot Mublbausen. A pollcemeaa arrested him on a charge of creating a disturb ance. The local police authorities prosecuted Furtmann en a charge of groea misdemeanor and rendering him' aelf a public nuisance. After a lengthy trial Furtmann waa acquitted. Tb police autboritlea appealed against tba decision, and a new trial la necessary. Furtmann announcee ttat be will call medical evidence to prove that poly pus In the nose prevented him aneeclng lees loudly than waa tba case when tha arrest occurred. Ml V'tor" DaBr aaa all Harrea Dlavaaaa i MiuMilif enras er IT. iiim i um rv Rurr. Haas rf thick fiinat aoniaana IM. vf. A. IT. K Ma . 14. MIAtrt hl, rkiia,r Verr Like It. "Mr. Upp," aald tbe merchant, atern It. to Adam Upp, his bookkeeper, "I aaw you at tbe baaeball game yester day. When you asked me to let yon off for the afternoon you aald you were going to a funeral." "Tbat'a so," replied the bookkeeper, "and I'm pretty near a prophet, ain't IT Iild you ever aee a alower game In your Ufa?-' Tbe Catholic Standard and Tlmea. Yoa Caa (let Aiiea'a FeoCEaae FREB. Write Allan a. Olmsted, le RoV.N. T , for a free aarnpl of Allen's Foot-rue. II eune sweating, notawollan, aching ! H makes aaw or tight ahoa .y. A eertala rur fot corns. Inarowlnf nails and banloas. AUdraf glita aalUt. ate. Kon'tsoeaptsav suDeUtuie. His OSBelal Till. A little girl waa asked, Wbo la tbe bead of our government T "Mr. Roosevelt," aba replied, prompt ly "That la right," aald the teacher; "but what la his official tltleT "Teddy P responded tbe little mlaa, proudly. now'i TblaT We effr One Hundred Dollars Reward fnt tnicutoll Starr that cannot be eured. by Hail s t etarrh l ure. f. j. i H K Ml T A CO., Frope., Toledo, (X We, the andarsifoed, have known F. J. Chaney lor the laat 16 yaxa, and bue hint rarlectly honorable to all buina Uan bona sod Bnanclall sola toearrj out any ea ligation! nidi b? their arm. but A Tnvaa. Wholeanl Irug1ata. Toledo. O, Wacom. ki"nAMaui, w heleaale lng alt, Tolado, O. Hail s t atarrarnre Is tin Internally, ee Ins directly upon the blood and aiucoui lur f. ol the syttam. Price 7. per bottle, uid by all Drnggiai. TesMaieaiela Ire. Mail a raatiij S Uia are the beet. A LITTLE LESSON IN ADYERSITY. I M t The father and grandfather of John Paul Jones, the great naval hero, were market gardenera In a Scotch village. John Paul waa the fifth of a family of seven children. Tbe boy waa 12 yeara old when be waa bound over to a merchant In tbe American trade, aa be had ahuwed a I desire to follow a JOH.t pai l Jore. aeafarlng life. What little schooling be posNesMHl be bad aecured In the parish school of Kltabean. After be had entered upon his 8ientlceithlp be learucd the need of whler knowledge, and aet out at once to study navigation. Many talee were told of the intensity with which the boy atudled lu every hour that he could iare from bia work. Just aa young Jones was advancing out of the aiM'renticenhlp hla master failed In business. Jones sailed for America. On the voyage the captain and the mate died of fever, and Jonea assumed the command of the ship, bringing It aafely Into harbor. Thla entitled him to papera at once, and he atarted out on hla career aa a Bailing master. Tbe rest of bia life la a matter of national history. Through it all Jonea dUplayed the aame courage, tbe aame way of overcoming all obstacle, the aame determination that had character laed bia endeavors to obtain a kuowl edge of navigation when boy. SAW HEAVEN AND HELL. Cherokeas la Am of m Tribesman: They Cam Xear ilarylaa". Tooley Catron, a Cherokee Indian of 21 or 20 years, who declares be has arisen from the dead, la J nut now the center of more attention than is uttual ly accorded one who has never been known beyond the uarrow confines of his neighborhood, aays the MiiMkogce (I. T.) correspondent of the New York Herald. Not many yeara ago young Catron waa returning from Tablequah, a dls tance of about ten miles from bis borne. Traveling on foot, be came to a river and be proceeded to wade across when. without an liut ant's premonition of ill ness, be suddenly fell unconscious on a gravel bar. There be remained for nome time, when he waa found by a passer by, w ho, supposing him to be dead, car ried lilm to hla but in the forest near Barren Fork Creek. There Catron waa laid upon bia bed and efforta were nmde to restore him to cousclouKne, but to no avail, and be was given up for dead. All the next day he lay atark and cold and It waa decided to bury him on tho following day. Consequently, preparntlona for performing the laat offlt-es were begun, but, after all, the Interment waa not to be, for before tbe aun bad arisen on the day aet for tbe funeral obaequlea Catron began to show eigne of returning animation, and by the time the sunbeams were dissi pating the mists in the Barren Fork Valley the aupposedly dead man waa very much alive and ready to partake of food and drink and In a few days, as strong aa usual, waa to be seen about bia usual haunts. But while be waa well physically as ever, the processes of Catron'a mind were diverted Into other channels, Whereas he had previous to his un conscious state entered Into the com monplace conversations of bis compan ions with readiness, he now assumed a greatly changed manner of speech. Ills demeanor, too, waa different He as sumed a more dignified carriage. All of thla was In Itself surprising to bis neighbors, already mystified by bis return from what waa eupposed by them to be death, but their aurprlse waa even greater when Catron Informed them that be had really been dead, had seen lotb heaven and bell and tbe poal tlon to be occupied In the unseen world by tbe red. white and black races. Ilia future on earth, he Indicated would be different from what It bad been 'n tbe past In conversation with an old acquaintance, Catron Informed him that be (Catron) waa like tbe Lord In that be. too. bad been dead and had arisen. Claiming at first to be a man of business, Catron purchased a auit rase, and. going to Welling, boarded a train, aaylng that be Intended going to Waahlngton for tbe purpose of consult ing tbe President on the public ques tions of Importance. However, be did not make an extended journey, but was back home In a few daya, making prep arattona for preaching, and addressed a large crowd of fnllbloode In tbe moun tain regions, far down tbe Illinois Blver. . Catron la a elender, dark man of or dinary appearance and one of tbe laat that would be supposed to Have a "mis sion" to perform, but bia having so strangely fallen Into what waa appar ently the state of death and having re turned will, no doubt cause him to be rega-deil with a peculiar veneration and awe by large banda of bia people. he Is Hat Ike Only Oae. Here la an essay of a amall schoolgirl on the subject of "If I Were Grown Up:" "If I re grown up I ahould get married and have Jam whenever I like. And I think I shall be a dress maker. When I am married I am not going out washing clothes, like aome people. I shall have a baby, and I ahafl not let anybody smack It unless lt'a naughty. If It wants amncklng, I aball smack It I ahall have a little boy. If I have a place where there Is a strict lady I aball leave. I want plenty of money from my husband. Tbat'a all I have got to aay about wben I am grown up." New Orleans Tlmea Democrat If a man ahould advertise to bold a public meeting In which to praise peo ple, would be attract a crowd? Hot air la cheap enough until you neat a bouse with lt CAN LIVE WITHOUT A STOMACH. Orssaa Nat Alwaya eaary ta Mil, Dr. arl Hrt-k. I A mau can live without a stomach. Ko can a woman. This declaration Is ban.nl upon tbe authority of lr. Carl lUnk. bead of the department of surgery in the North Chicago Hospital. The as-j sertlon of the surgeuo waa brought out by tbe recent remarka of Professor John Mason Tyler of Amherst College In a lecture at the University of Chi cago. Professor Tyler aald: "A man can live comfortably without brains but no man ever existed without a di gestive system." "I ahall not assume that the distin guished professor meant literally that a man could uot live without brains," sad Ir. Beck. "It la apparent that he conveys the Idea that an Ignorant man may exist with all hla functional strength, while an enlightened and learned jiersou with weakened digestive orgaua cannot I hold a decisively op poHlte view aa to the stomach end of It backed by personal knowledge and au tboritlea. persona without stomachs uot only can but do live, and we have a notable Instance of the fact lu Chicago to-day. Six years ago I removed the stomach of Mrs. Hausen, who Uvea pn Roneoe, near North Clark street, and he Is liv ing, well and hearty to-day. "Of course it waa nM-ensary to make certain Intestinal connections to sustain the Internal organism, but the stomach waa entirely removed. Artificial nour ishment waa required for a time. Then a new atomach formed and it baa re stored the victim to perfect health. The late Sheriff Thomas Barrett lived for months without functional op eration of the stomach. Not because It was affected but !ecHUe he was un able to swallow,' and the nourishment he obtained until physical exhaustion caused bis death waa by artificial means." Chicago News. 1 DESEET CHAUFFEURS. t ' There is a desert product which is essentially modern, and whlih must be classed as a type of the twentieth century niluing camp, says a writer lu the Outing Magaxlne. Thla Is the desert chauffeur, who opened the trail of tralllo between Tonapah and (lold field. Nevada, and later drove his ma chine ou south to the camps of the Bullfrog district It Is distinctly pic turesque, and Is aa thoroughgoing a pioneer In bis way aa the freighter is In hla. "I can spot one of those desert auto mobile drivers coming up street as far as I can see him," said a mail lu Gold field. "After he has leen at It a. year .be looka like a ahecp herder. He geta that locoed look In his face and the same kind of a wild stare, and ho looks as If you couldn't get the dust out of his system If you ran blm through a stamp mill." It ia one of the many Incongruities of those towns dumiHl down In the heart of the di-sert to see the pros pector and hla burros turning out to dodee the high-powered autoinolllea which anort through the unpaved streets In aquadrous. Nor nave so many costly machines been wrecked anywhere aa on the road, if you may call It aucb, between Goldfield aud Bullfrog. It la a stretch of sixty miles of lonely desert, without a town or a bouse aa a refuge In case of a break down. When I made the trip, aaya a writer. It was as cheerful a risk with rect to reaching your destination as putting out to aea In a flat-lxittomed skiff. Tbe law of the survival of the fittest had wrought Its pitiless work among the battered machines, and from the wreck age loomed the commanding figure of one "Bill" Brown, the only driver who guaranteed to get you across, whether hla auto held together or not He had rebuilt his car several times. Bo little of the original material waa left that it auggested the present con dltlon of the frigate Constitution. The car bad been ah!ped Into the desert, ornate, elaborate, equlped with many glittering devices which "Bill" Brown began to eliminate with ruthless hand. It ahould furnish makers and owners of automobiles with food for reflection to learn that thla Iconoclastic chauf feur took a thousand pounds of weight from thla machine before he bad it run nlng to please him. When he bad dis carded a vast amount of machinery and trimming, be tossed aside the body. and built a new one from the sides of packing en sea, to aave weight and make room for more passengera. Walklaar aa tha Wtur. A pair of aquatic aboea baa been con at r octed, writes M. Glen Fling In Tech nical World Magaxlne, which enables Ita wearer to walk on the water aa easily aa a ship aalla tbe aea. "Canal bonta," for eure. are these water ehoee, but when a foot la slipped Into each and the wearer give a slight hunch forward with the body and a deft push with first the right foot and then with tbe left and the shore begins to slip be hind blm aa if he were wearing the fam d seven league lioots. sire is of no confident Ion. A long pull a atrong pull, first with one foot and then with t'other and he Is slipping down stream aa easily and poetically and as noise lessly as sneaka tbe Indian In hla birch bark canoe. Lieutenant Arthur T. Sadler, of the United State volunteer life eating crew at Charlesbank, Mass., la tbe discoverer of thla new sport, and he la also tha Inventor of the novel boat shoes. Tha Beaatlfal Way. The bestitiful way We are going to-day, Kvery rude winter shall bloom like th May ; And sorrow still seems But an echo of dreatps. While the light ot eternity over ot streams In that beautiful way We are going to-day. Atlanta Constitution. Cialalaar Wlaaoaa. "Tea, be askeU me for tbe loan of a 'fiver and I let blm hare It" "Really, I didn't think you knew eact other well enough for that" "Juet about but now I know blm better." Philadelphia Press, Waaa the Caws Can Hmm: With ktingle. klangl. kli Way dowa the duaty diajH, Tbe eoe-a art coming bo,; Now sweet sod clear, sad Uiat tn(J ,QW The airy tinkling from towar. Or pattering of aa April ahotr That makes th daislos grow Ko-kling. kt-klsng. kaUiif!tiingia, "Way dowa tbe darkenim oiBgl4 Tbe corns com slowly soma. Soft sounds thst swvtly mini!, With Jingl. jsngl. Jin', Tb cows sr coming hon. Malime. sod Pesrl, snd Flr.si. I Ksmp. Itedrose. snd (irwn Schell. Queen Beas, snd Sylph, lad Spangled Sue Across the field I bear loo-oo, And clang h-r ailver 111. Go-ling, go-lani. goliuglalinii,, With faint, far sounds that mingle, Th cows com slowly Boo; And mother-aonga of loniiont years. And bsby joys, snd chiltliah tr,. And youthful hope. nd youthful Nan, When th cowa com a'm. With ring!, rang!. rinfl, By two and thr snd singla, Th cows ar coming boma. Through tb violet sir w sm th town. And th iiimmrr sun a allppng downs Th map! In th haiel gladt Throw down tb path a lonpr aha do, And th hill ar growing hrowo. To-ring. to-rany. toringlrin5;a. By threes snd foura snd sing Is, Th cow com slow); home. Th sam sweef anund of worldleas psalm, The same sweet June-day reat and calm, The sam sweet scent of bud and balm, Whn th cows com homt. With a tinkle, tankle, tinkle, Through fern and periwinkle. The cows sr cotninf home; A-loitering io the checkered etream, Where the aun-rara fiance and gleam, Stsrine. Peschbloom and ITioehs Phyllis Stand knee-deep In tb creamy lilies, la a droway dream. To-llnk. to-lank, tolinklellnkle, O'er banks with buttercups a-twtnkl. Th cow com alowly home; And up through memory's deep rsvln Com tb brook's old song and lu old-tlm heen. And th crescent of th silver queen. With a klinkle. klanfle, klingl. With a loo-oo, and moo-oo, snd Jingl, Th cowa ar coming home; And over tber oo Merlin hill, Hear th plalntlv cry of th whlppoor will; The dewdrop lie oo tha tangled vlnea. And over the poplar Venua ahlncs s And over the silent mill, Ko-ling, ko-lang. kolinglellngl, With a ting-a-lini tnd jingle, The cows come slowly borne. Let down the bars, let in th train Of long-gone ongs, and flowera, snd rain; tor dear old times come bark again When th cows cad bom. Agnes E. Mitchell. CATECHISM QP CIVICS. Qaaatlaas aa Aaswara af lateraaf ta Amerleaaa. What are the prlnolj: products of the United States? Historical Novels and Health Foodt. Where la the Corn Belt Seated? It extenda from tl. Chicago Ex change to Trinity Cliuroh in Wall street Ioes the climate vnry much In dif ferent parte of the I'nionl Yes. What la considered to be tha hottest region In the country 1 ZIon City. And tbe coldest? John D. Rockefeller safe deposit vault What common product 1b raised In tbe aame proportions all over the couu try? Bablea. Are there any exceptions to thla? Tea. Newport and S-mth Dakota. What are the babies used for? In the South, to run the factories; Ic tbe North, to furnish w Educational Systems, How la the Trust Crop grown? By magnates and tie common peo ple. What la a ruagr.atel Almost auy dlshonat man wbo ha money enough to keep cut of Jail. And wben the common people hava gathered the Trut Crop, how are they paid? In common stock. Doea thla yield anything Oh. yea. When yoo It " ylelda water enough ke a good drcua lemonade. , , What are the prlnd?! tradea of tb. United Utatee? Operating for appea.1t1a. writing advertisement noetry an- rlnf ot o. atrlke. Tka reraatt Olft. She bad been cleaning np her "den" and cam. aero., v.rlon. and .undr, unfamiliar books In the process After thinking bard she had J" all to tbelr rightful owner with a fin. and cooaclou. aene of virtue. Only . - n ant tha man one remained ana ------ with whom ahe connefleu pan cular book called. Hb. Here'e a little old do. your, .he announmed In her oan.1 flippant way. "and I wish you'd It bom I've given It house room ln jnough. He took the book and looked at her rather queerly. "All right," he said, but there waa no enthusiasm In his ton. "It's yours. Isn't Itr "emanaea. "Well, not exactly." be replied. "I m . hlrthaav nr.un f gave it to you ior - - alsnit two years ag." Now she Is writing her n-"' in every book she owns. What They -I helleve." aald HI Tragerdy, "that they bad hoped to catch the town with Hamlet' but It was qui.a - er- fort." . .. . "No. not exactly rrume repnea Iowe Comerdy. "I nnue-u m, Den e.i. ... there In plenty, although omewbat aged.-rblld'l! Preen. CAREER OF THE TEXAS. ! Caa alalea la 1BS Lavkaa I pa a aa HMas," Tbe battle ship Texas, the "hoodoo boat" of the American navy, has been plaed on tbe retired llt aaya the Au gusta Herald. She baa been aent to the navy ysrd at Charleston, S. C, to serve there aa a atatlon ship, and un less war should break out which would tieceaaitst th bringing Into service of every available vessel, her active daya are past The Ti'ias la not old. She waa com pleted In 181)3, but waa never a good steamer, though ahe couaumed tremen dous qusntltlea of coal, and 111 luck ao persistently attended her that ahe came to be regarded aa "hoodooed." Once In ber career the fatal epell de parted from ber, during the battle off Suntlago de Cuba. Her noble bebalvor during that etruggle under command of ('apt Jack Philip la freah In memory. But the bopea to which that P'omen tary relnvigoratlon gave rise were shortly after shattered and ahe resum ed her wonted course of awry action. When ahe was out for ber first trial. one of ber propeller bladea cut Into a passing schooner and aunk It Placed on a dry dock for the first time, the could not bear the atraln of ber own weight and bad to be overhauled at great expense. Later, ahe ran ashore In Norfolk harbor. In while she waa lying In the Brooklyn navy yard. one of ber seacocks became unfastened and ahe aank. In February, of 18'j7, the weot aahore at the Tortugaa, and In Lwceuiber of the aame year In tbe Wal labout channel. In November of 1!X r2 while the was at target practice, ber big guna broke the recoil and wrecked the surrounding works. That waa ber last accident but there la no telling what more would have happened to ber If she bad been required for somewhat active service. It Is altogether likely that her hoo doo days aa well aa ber active daya are over. Her 0 Inch guna have already been taken from ber, and ber turret guna will be taken aa soon aa use can te found for them. She will remain qu'ctly at ber dock until at aome time In the future she will Join other for gotten vessels In the naval graveyard. MODEL SHOVEL SALESMAN. .lory Told at tka Daka af Walllaa? ! a Bia Coatraet. A millionaire abovelmaker. aa be aat in tha amoking room of an Atlantic liner, aald to a 8t Loula Globe-Demo crat writer: "I have been over to England trying to aell shovels to tbe British govern ment I failed. I couldn't aell a ahov el. A dead man named Jonea waa tbe causa of my failure. Jonea waa alive, very much alive, during the battle of Waterloo. He aat on horseback near Wellington tent Wellington, aeelng btm there In civil lan'a dress, aald angrily : "Wbo are you?" H'I am a ahovel aaleaman,' aald Jonea, 'and I came here from Brussels to see tha battle.' " 'Now that you are here.' aald Well lngton. 'are you willing to carry a mes- aage for me to one of my generala? It will be a dangerous errand, but I have no one els to send.' "I'll carry your meesage,' aald Jonea, 'and aa for danger, one part of thla battle field la no more dangerous than another to-day.' "So Wellington gave blm the mesaage, and Jonea delivered it but failed to re turn. The duke thought him slain, but one day eight or nine yeara later a man accosted the duke In London. "'I)o you remember me? be said. "'I do,' said Wellington, shaking the man'a band warmly. you aaved two reglmenta of mine by tbe delivery of that mesaage. Why didn't you return to me?" Jnnea aald his horse bad been kill ed by a cannon ball aa be waa return ing, and be himself bad been shot In the Ma hut not badly a few daya abed had brought him around. "'Well,' aald the duke, "what can I do for you? "'lama partner In that abovel house of ours now,' Bald Jonea, the firm name la Smith, Jenkins Jonea, and I'd like to get a government contract "He got it" the millionaire ended, aadly. "From that day to thla all the shovels nsed In tbe British army and navy have been aupplled by the house of Smith, Jenkins A Jonea. I waated my time trying to compete with that firm." Haw ta Flaa Flak Bait. The boy wanted aome worma for bait He had selected a promising spot shady and low lying knoll, but though be had been digging now for fifteen minutes, not a single worm had hla apade turned np. "Here, aonny,' aald aa old angler, "take thla chunk of soap and make m. quart or two of soapsuds. Tbe boy brought tbe soda, tbe old man an rink led tbem over the ground. and then be. In hla turn, began to dig. It waa amaaing. Here, wnere me ooy hafoea had not found a atngle worm tbe old man now discovered tbem In do tens. "Ton can find worma 'most any where, aonny," aald tbe old man, "If van wet the ground with soapsuds first The anapeuda draws tbem, tbe same aa molasses drawa flies. A west mixture of blue vitriol and water will do the same thing also." Providence Journal A Tkaraaak Jab. In the cook'a absence tbe young mls tras r tne bouse undertook, with tbe help of a green waitress, to get the Sunday luncheon. Tbe flurried msld. wbo bad been struggling In the kitchen with a coffee machine that refused to work, confessed that ahe had forgotten to w aab the lettuce. "Well, never mind. Ellxa. Oo on with the coffee, and I'll do It" aald tbe con alderate mlstreea. "Where do you keep the soap?" A Btasre. All tbe world's a stag. thy aay For each a part la est And when moaqaltoes start tfcle way W play bhlnd a at. Waab lngton Star. We have reached tbe age wben wa don't aee wbat'e the matter with eating the picnic lunch on the dining room table at home, and having no baaket. to carry. . v v vy .v.vv - . . - The Kind You Have) Always ture of Cba. 11. Fletcher, and lias Item made under his personal aupervixion fur over tO yeara. Allow no one to deceive you in this. Counterfeits, Imitation and Just-aa-pood are but Experiment, and eiulnnper the health of Children lixpcrleiice against i:xriim-iit. What is CASTORIA Caatorla la a barmles substitute fur Castor Oil, l'arew fcortc. Drop and Hoothlnir hjriipa. It la l'leusnnt. It contain neither Opium, Morphine nor other .Narcotic substance. Ita agre U Its piiarantee. It destroy AVorm and allays Feveriohnew. It cures Piarrhir and AYiinl Colic. It relieves Teething Troubles, cures Cont Ipatiou and FlatulencT. It assimilates the Food, regulate tbe Stomach and lloweU, irivinsr healthy and natural bice i. The Children's Panacea The Mother's Friend. The Kind You Me Always Bought SI Bears tbe In Use For Over 30 Years. vwa s.OT.wa aaMv. wvaatv itmit, aw raaa atrv. Tha "40O" DaSaea. Top." said Tommy, "whst do the newspapers mean wben they aay 'a member of the .OUT "They refer, Tommy, to certain so ciety men and women who think they are better than anybody else, and tbat'a about all the thinking they do." 'lld you ever aee one of 'em, pop?" '1 don't know. Tommy ; but you can easily tell one If you happen to run acrosa It." 'If it a In a street car It talks ao loudly that you cau't bear the roar of the wheel. "If It's In church, the plumes on its hat bide the preacher. If It's at a party, the most of Its clothea are In the dressing room. "If It's In an automobile, dodge It If you are quick enough, and come home to mamma alive. "If lt'a walking on the sidewalk. It usually strides along as if it was tak ing the street home with it. "If it's In a theater, you can tell by the atony stare In Its face that the act- ora are doing good and Intelligent work. "If lt'a In a railroad station, In full Jre.s, you'll wonder why tbe locomo tive doesn't Jump the track and take to the woods. Tud can't m' It. Tnmmt." Tha Milk tl Ihs nor. The four-year-old son of a eertnln wesieru senator bHd a very high opin Ion of the Importance of his fattier. The latter tells how. on one oivasun In their weetern home, the lad came acroxs a magnzlne In which, by some chance, there were engraved side by side portraits of the I'realdent and the Senator mentioned. When the lad caught sight of his father's features he broke Into a broad smile. "Thiit'a a good picture of yon, daddy," .aid he. "Very good, my eon." Who'a the man next to you, daddy?" asked the youngfter. "Why. my son"' exclaimed the del ator, "don't you know? That Is one of tbe greatest men of the world, a man more admirable and more powerful than any king. That, my son, la Presi dent Itoofevelt." The lad ngnln looked at the picture of the rresldent. Then, after a thought ful pnuse, he observed: "Say, daddy, the people In the east will be awful proud when they aee the President's picture next to youre, won't they?" An"""- '"ttnr. Tha Orltfla al Salaaoa. The name aalmon la given In Eng land and all western atatea to a large trout-like Bab which lives In the aea, chiefly about the mouths of rivers, and which entera tbe streams to spawn, running for a considerable distance up the stream and returning to the aea after the act of apawning la accom plished, says a writer in the Pacific Monthly. Tbe old males become some what distorted, especially through the lengthening of tbe Jaws, but tbe cbangea with age and season are not much greater than In any large trout. The true aalmon, like the true trout la black spotted. It Is called In science Salmo aalar, and along with tbe true trout tt belong, to tbe genu. Salmo. There ta only one epeclee of Atlantic aalmon; It la found on both aldea of the ocean, and on both aidea It be comes sometimes lana-iocaea ana dwarfish when It la abut up In a lake and wben It cannot or doea not go to tbe aea. Tha Bad Maaths. It waa mid October In Vermont and there waa already a hint of anow In tbe air. The city boarder on bia way to tbe depot shivered .lightly, and drew bia greatcoat closer about him. There'e no denying 'that you have tin loveliest State In the Union In the auninier, Osgood," be .aid to tbe etage- driver, "but I wouldn t live here tbe year round If you'd give it to me." Tni oia man siowir un aru a iTrai-i ent fly off tbe near bora before be grumbled, "Well, 'taln't a very good State to live In, I II admit, nave to drag round on wheels about four mouths out of every year. When you biry WPT WEATHER you want complete protection &nd long ervlce. Thes and marry other good point af) combined In TOWER'S OILED CLOTHING - dt a. M totnor any other & t rn eaau.'w aa a U - linucut hat borne the) aiiriuw Signature of CLASSIF1EDADVERTISING Portland Trad Directory Mamas aaa Asotaataa la PaHlana al R.ara aastalKa Basliwaa riraw. - IhhAM HKr AUAlxHS W. , ara ! lb. U. Ik hrp.raior la b ll Writ. . Itm cata.ua- UaMiwuod la, ll. b au Uaa. MKN'SCI-OTHINO BuSom A r.arfl.loa. ola aura a Alfrrd lt.ii)inia a Co.'. twiiwl ciullira, t v.rylhma lu m. ruruLlunc lucriiua aud stub ftirv!.. oppoaii iiioimi. I'l ANiM a IlKII l.NH M.'iy Hn in. ruui.nt. Fa vri to n. a ,-011111 . t Su. m or runvi of huv.r Wrt'O tor Qcr pno-i 4 i rihm how on IumkI. terms, no W rlf. lo-Uv. t.m-r! t o., hir.iw.l At tha I'oateraaaloBe. "Sf that man with the re-nforeel forehead and prominent teetbl Tbate MouUljrpaat. lle'a Dior anight after by literary men sod critics jut now than soy otbr man in tb room." "Whst (or'" "II clsims to bsv onrartlied an orig inal manuscript from the pen of Martin Karquhar Tuuper, auihor of Trovarbial Pbiloaophy.' " "1 se. Tiny ar trying to get blm t upprea It." r.CAVCG CURED! iZZftZTa troabli-a. Car.. Htar... C.n(ha, Di.lem.fr Inilllnll.n. ,t.r1n.rt au. uo ood roeomauta. PftUSSIAN HtAVa POWDER tni,r'". wtll rt th.nu eric ihv .1 1.t-r. aee t-r Sand lor mi H k PRUSSIAN REMEDY CO., ST. PAUL, MINI CMAS. M. IILIY CO., Saatll end Pertlas Egan Dramatic and Operatic School Season J 906 and 1 907 Opens Sept. IS Prepares for Pramstic and (ieratie SlaKe and plsC'-s lirailiiatt- in i mouths- Forty Uncinates now witli traveling companies, teend for C'uta loguc. Egan Dramatic and Operatic School Efia HaII, Arcade Building, Seattle. FRANK C EGAN, rrlntlpiL fratTferj BORAX Will Sterilize All Articles or Clothing Acting, as an Antiseptic and Preventing Odor from Prespiration. All dlr Fiwa hampls Haras an Sar.t Soap. HOOK rt a Hoav.nlr Ctciura In color., ft IO r.nt diwintiitit facia iu coast Mohajl to., Oaalaad, 1 al. W. LT DOUGLAS 3.50fc$3.00 Shoes T IM TNI WORLD W.L0oug!ai$4 G!!t Edgi Bm MnnotMequalledilinyprlo W. h Ifc'iiaTlaVfl Job. btng HonM M if Mtoat wiyyirt in th rouftiry Hmi for Cmtmlef IH0ES F0a EVERYBODY AT ALL PRICIS. al.n'a Shos. as to l SO. nnra Sho. S3 toSl SS. Wom.n SnoM. saootoSi.to. kli..-a' a Cblldraa a ShoM. sa sa to ai.oo. Try W. I.. loti(laa Hnmrg'i, MIiim and l.hlltlr.n'. .htw. : fnr atyla, Ml and wear thy eiral ather makaa. If I could take you Into my largo factorlee at Brockton, Mase.,and show you how carefully W.L. Douglas ahoe art made, you would then understand why they hold their ahape, fit better, wear longer, and are of greater valuo than any other make. W haravar yoa llva. yaa caa orXala W. L. Dauf laa aha. Ml Mm n artca l trnpat aa th Sntlaaa. whtch arwtacl. yoaaialat nig I prtca an Inlarlnr .hoa. Tat aa tf tar. Ah yvmr aaalar fne W. L. Oaagla ahaca an In.l.l apaa having th.aa. tmt Coif I "" .' ' "' ' SraM. Writ In niaatrat.4 CataUg mt Fall Mjt. w. u uochjuas, uapt. j, oracaiaa, m P. N. U. Ma. 34-0 avf artlaar alaaaa aar. . V v - -v v - - V - . . - ' AV , a