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1917
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TW O A R T I L L E R Y M E N “ PU T O N E O V E R '’ ON O L D P E P P E R ,
R EG IM EN T A L COM M ANDER.
Synopsis__ F ired by th e sinking of the L u sitan ia, w ith the loss of
A m erican lives, A rth u r Guy Empey, nu A m erican living in Je rse y City,
goes to E ngland and en lists as a p riv ate In th e B ritish arm y. A fter a
sh o rt experience ns a recru itin g officer in London, he is sent to tra in
ing q u a rte rs In F rance, w here he first h ears the sound of big guns and
m akes th e a c q u ain tan ce of "cooties.” A fter a b rief period of train in g
E m pey's com pany is se n t Into the front-line trenches, w here he takes
his first tu rn on th e fire step while th e bullets whiz overhead. Em pey
learns, as com rade falls, th a t death lurks alw ays in the trenches.
C haplain d istin g u ish es him self by rescuing wounded men under hot
fire. W ith pick and shovel Eu>i>ey has exjterienee as a tren ch digger
in No M an's Land. E xciting experience on listen in g post d etail. Ex
citing work on o b servation post duty.
C H A PTER XVI—C ontinued.
__12__
"C assell had a fancy fo r th a t p a r
tic u la r blonde. T h e answ er cum e back
in th e shape o f a volley of cusses. I
changed the subject.
“A fter a w hile our ta lk veered
round to the w ay th e Boches had been
exposing them selves on th e road down
on th e c h a rt a s T a rg e t 17. W hat he
said about those Boches w ould never
have passed th e relchstag, though I
believe it would have gone through
our censor easily enough.
“T h e b u rstin g shells w ere making
such a din th a t I packed up talking
and took to w atch in g th e cap tain. He
w as fidgeting aro u n d on an old sand
bag w ith th e g lass to his eye. Occa
sionally he w ould let out a grunt, and
m ake some rem ark I couldn’t h ear on
account of th e noise, but I guessed
w h at it was nil right. F ritz w as get
tin g fresh again oh th a t road.
“Cassell had been sending in the ‘tap
code’ to me, b u t I w as fed up and
d id n ’t b o th er w ith i t T h en he sent
O. S., and I w as all atten tio n , for this
wus a call used betw een us which
m ean t th a t som ething im p o rtan t w as
on. I was all e a rs in an In stan t. Then
C assell tu rn ed loose.
“ ‘You b lan k ety blank dud. I have
been trying to ra ise you fo r fifteen
m inutes. W h at’s th e m atter, are you
asleep ?’ (J u s t as if anyone could
h av e slept in th a t Infernal ra c k e t!)
‘N ever mind fram in g a n asty answ er.
J u s t listen.’
“ ‘Are you gam e for p u ttin g some
th in g over on 'h e Boches and Old Pep
per all in one?’
“I answ ered th a t I w as gam e enough
w hen it cam e to p u ttin g it over the
Boches, h u t confessed th a t 1 had a
w eakening of th e spine, even at the
m ention of Old P ep p er’s nam e.
“lie cam e back w ith, ‘I t's so absu rd
ly easy and sim ple th a t th e re is no
ch an ce of th e old h eathen rum bling i t
A nyw ay, if w e’re caught. I'll tak e the
blame.*
“U nder these condition 1 told him to
sp it out his schem e. It w as so daring
and sim ple th a t It took my b reath
aw ay. Tills Is w hat he prop o sed:
“If tlie B oches should use th a t road
again, to send by th e ta p system the
ta rg e t and range. I had previously
told him about o u r cap tain talk in g out
loud as if he w ere- sending through
orders. W ell, if th is happened, I was
to send the dope to C assell nnd he
would tra n sm it It to the b a tte ry com
m an d er as officially com ing through
th e observation post. T hen the b a t
te ry would open tip. A fterw ards, d u r
ing th e investigation, C assell would
sw e a r lit received It direct. They
would have to relieve him, because It
w as im possible from his pmd In the
b a tte ry dugout to know th a t the road
w as being used ¡it th a t tim e by the
H erm ans. And also it was im possible
fu r him to give the targ et, range and
degrees. You know n b a tte ry ch art Is
not passed aro u n d am ong th e inen like
a n ew sp ap er from Blighly. From him
th e in v estig atio n would go to the ob
serv atio n post, nnd the observing offi
c e r could tru th fu lly sw ear th a t I had
n o t sent the m essnge by 'phone, nnd
th a t no o rd ers to fire had been issued
by him. T h e Inv estig ato rs would then
I> p up In th e a ir. we would he safe, the
B oches would receive a good hashing,
nnd we would g et o u r own hack on Old
P e p p e r. It w as too good to lie true.
I g leefu lly fell in w ith th e scheme,
n n d told C assell I w as his m eat.
‘T h e n I w a ite d w ith beating h e a rt
u n d w atched th e c a p ta in like a hawk.
“H e w as b eg in n in g to fidget agnln
n n d w as d ru m m in g on th e sandbags
w ith his feet. At last, tu rn in g to me,
he said :
“ ‘W ilson, th is arm y is a blankety
blank w ashout. W hat's th e use of hav
ing a rtillery If it Is not allow ed to fire?
T he governm ent a t home ought to be
hanged w ith some of th e ir red tape.
It's through them th a t we have no
shells.’
“ I answ ered, ‘Yes, sir,’ and sta rte d
sending th is opinion over th e w ire to
Cassell, but the captain in terru p ted
me w ith :
“ ‘K eep those infernal fingers still.
W h at’s the m atter, getting th e nerves?
W hen I'ui talk in g to yog, pay a tte n
tion.’
“My h e a rt sank. Supposing he had
rum bled th a t tapping, th en all would
be up w ith our plan. I stopped drum
m ing w ith my finget« and sa id :
“ ‘Beg yo u r pardon, sir, Just a habit
w ith me.’
“ ‘And n d------ d silly one, too,’ he an
sw ered, tu rn in g to his glasses again,
and I knew I w as safe. H e had not
tum bled to th e m eaning of th a t ta p
ping.
“All at once, w ithout tu rn in g round,
he e x claim ed :
“ ‘W ell, of ail th e nerve I’ve ever run
across, th is ta k e s th e cake. Those
--------------Boches are using th a t road
again. B lind ray eyes, th is tim e it is a
w hole brig ad e of them , tra n sp o rts and
nil. W hnt a p re tty ta rg e t fo r our
‘4.5’s.’ T h e beggars know th a t we
w on’t fire. A d— —d sham e, I call it.
Oh, Just fo r n chance to tu rn D 238
loose on them .’
“I w as trem bling w ith excitem ent.
F rom rep eated stolen glances a t the
c a p ta in ’s ran g e chart, th a t road with
Its range w as burned Into my mind.
“Over th e w ire I tapped, ‘D 238 b a t
tery, T a rg e t 17, R ange 6000, 3 degrees
30 m inutes, left, salvo, fire.’ Cassell
O. K.’d my m essage, and with the re
ceiver pressed ag ain st my ear, I w ait
ed and listened. In a couple of m in
utes very fain tly over th e w ire cam e
th e voice o f our b a tte ry com m ander
Issuing the o rd e r: ‘D 238 b attery.
Salvo! F ir e ! ’
“T hen a ro a r through the receiver
as the fo u r guns belched forth, a
scream ing and w histling overhead, and
th e shells w ere on th e ir way.
‘T h e cap tain jum ped as if he w ere
shot, and let out a g reat big expressive
d------n, and eagerly tu rn ed his glasses
In the direction of th e G erm an road.
I also strain ed my eyes w atching th a t
targ et. F o u r blnck clouds of d u st rose
up right In the middle of the Gerinnn
colum n.
F our direct lilts—an o th er
record fo r D 238.
“Tlie shells kept on w histling over
head, and I had counted tw enty-four
of them w hen th e firing suddenly
ceased. W hen the sm oke and dust
clouds lifted the destru ctio n on th n t
road w as aw ful. O v ertu rn ed lim bers
and guns, w agons rm ashed up, troops
fleeing In nil directions. T he road and
roadside w ere spotted all over w ith
little field gray dots, th e toll of our
guns.
‘T h e cap tain , in his excitem ent, had
slipped ofT th e sandbag, and w as on
his knees in the mud, th e glass still a t
his eye. H e was m u tterin g to him self
nnd slapping his thigh w ith his disen
gaged hand.
At every slap a big
round Juicy cuss word would escape
from his lips followed b y :
“ ‘G ood! F in e ! M arvelous! P re tty
W ork ! D irect hits all.’
“T hen he furned to me nnd s h o u te d :
‘“ W ilson, w hnt do you think of it?
Did you ev er see the like of it In your
life? D------ n fine work, I call It.’
“P re tty soon n look of w onder stole
over his face and he ex cla im e d :
‘“ B ut w ho in h—1 gave them the
order to fire, Bunge and everything
correct, too. 1 know 1 didn't. W ilson,
did I give you nuy order for the b a t
tery to opeu up? Of courss I didn't,
did IT*
“I answ ered very em phatically. ‘No,
sir, you gave no command. N othing
went through th is post. I aiu abso
lutely certu ln ou th a t point, air.'
“ 'O f course nothing w ent through,’
he replied. T hen his fuce fell, and he
m uttered out lo u d :
‘“ But, by Jove, wait till Old Pep
per gets w ind of this. T h ere’ll be fu r
Hying.’
J u s t then B om bardier Cassell cut In
oil the w ir e :
" ‘G en eral’s com plim ents to C aptain
A------. H e d irects th at officer nnd sig
n aler report a t the double to brigade
h e a d q u a rte rs a s soon as relieved. Re
lief now on th e way.'
“In un undertone to me, ’Keep a
brass fro n t. Wilson, and fo r God's
sake, stick .’ I answ ered w ith, ’Rely on
me, mate,* h u t I w as trem bling all over.
“I gave th e gen eral's m essage to the
captain, and sta rte d packing up.
“T he relief arrived, and as we left
the post th e captain said :
“ ‘Now fo r the fireworks, nnd I know
th ey ’ll bo good and plenty.’ T hey were.
“ W hen we arrived at the gun pits
the b a tte ry com m ander, the sergeant
m ajor nnd C assell were w aiting for us.
We fell in line and the funeral m arch
to brigade h e a d q u arters sta rte d .
“A rriving a t h eadquurters the b a t
tery com m ander was the first to be
Interview ed. T h is was behind closed
doors. F rom the roaring and explo
sions o f Old P epper it sounded as If
raw m eat w as being throw n to the
lions. Cassell, later, described It as
sounding like a bombing raid. In about
two m inutes th e officer reappeared.
T he sw eat w as pouring from his fo re
head, and his face was the color of a
beet.
H e w as speechless.
As he
passed th e c ap tain he Jerked his thum b
la the d irectio n of tlie lion’s den and
w ent out- T hen the captain w ent In,
nnd the Hons w ere (»nee agnln fed.
T he cap tain stayed iilxiut tw enty m in
utes and cam e out. I couldn’t see his
face, b u t the droop in his shoulders
wus enough. H e looked like a wet hen.
‘T h e door of the g eneral’s room
opened and Old P epper stood in the
doorw ay. W ith a ro ar he sh o u ted :
“ ’W hich one of you is Cussell?
D------n me, get your heels to g eth er
when I spenk ! Come in b e re t’
“C assell s ta rte d to say, ‘Yes sir.’
“B ut Old P epper roared, ‘S hut upl*
“C assell cam e out in five m inutes.
He said nothing, but as he passed me
he put his tongue Into his cheek nnd
winked, then, turning to th e closed
door, he stuck his thum b to his nose
and left.
“T hen the serg ean t m ajor’s tu rn
came. H e didn’t come out our way.
Judging by the roaring. Old P epper
m ust have eaten him.
“ When the door opened and the gen
eral beckoned to me, my knees sta rte d
to play ‘Home, Sw eet H om e’ against
each other.
“My Interview w as very short.
“Old P ep p er glared a t m e when I
entered, nnd then let loose.
“ ‘Of course you don’t know anything
about it. You’re Just like th e re s t
Ought to have n nursing bottle around
your neck and n nipple in your teeth.
Soldiers— by gad, you tu rn my stom
! ach to look nt you. Win this wnr,
when England sends out such sam ples
as I have in my b rig a d e ! Not likely!
Now, sir, tell me w hnt you don’t know
about this affair. Spenk up, out with
C H IN A L O S IN G T R A D E IN T E A
General Opinion T h a t Scientific C ulti
vation of the P la n t H as Been
Begun Too Late.
C hina’s tea tra d e Is not keeping pace
with tlie w o rld ju co n su m p tio n of tea.
Scientific cultivation in stead of old-
tim e m ethods and th e use of m achin
ery are being used In the effort to
regain the lost com m ercial ground.
T he m inistry of a g ric u ltu re has esta b
lished a model farm , und the first tea
grown on It wus sen t to m arket this
year. It Is said to have been of good
quality, hut no d e ta ils nre yet av ail
able of the equipm ent und m ethods
employed. Foreign ten men seem to
have little faith In the resu lts of this
attem p ted reform nnd consider It un
likely th at C hinese te a s will ever re
gain the lending pluce In the markets
of th e world. It Is said th a t Chinese
leas have less tan n in th an o th e r teas,
nnd th n t tlie liner grad es nre u n su r
passed in delicacy of flav o r; but the
average tea d rin k e r seem s to find the
teus of India and Ceylon satisfacto ry .
It. D on’t be gaping a t uie like a fish.
S pit It out.*
“I stam m ered, ‘Sir, I know ab so lu te
ly nothing.’
“ T h a t's easy to see,' he ro a re d ;
'th a t stupid fuce tells me th a t. Shut
up. Get o u t; but I think you a re a
d------d lia r Just the sam e. Back to
your b a tte ry .'
“I salu ted nnd m ade my exit.
'T h a t night th e cap tain sent for us.
W ith fe a r nnd trem bling we w ent to
his dugout. lie w as alone. A fter sa
luting we stood a t a tte n tio n in front
of him nnd w aited. Ills say w as s h o r t
“ 'D on’t you tw o ev er get it Into your
heuds th n t M orse is a dead language-
I’ve know n it fo r years. T he two of
you had b e tte r get rid of th a t nervous
habit of tap p in g tra n s m itte r s ; It's dan
gerous. T h a t's nil.*
“We saluted, nnd w ere Just going out
"the door of the dugout when th e enp-
tnln called up hack nnd sa id :
’“ Smoke GoldflakeaT Yes? Well,
th ere a re tw o tins of them on my table.
Go hack to the b attery , nnd keep ,o u r
tongues betw een your teeth. U nder
stan d T
“ We understood.
“F or five w eeks sfte rw a rd s our b a t
tery did nothing but ex tra fatigues.
We w ere satisfied nnd so w ere tha
men. It w as w orth it to put one over
on Old Pepper, to say nothing of the
Injury caused to F ritz ’ feelings.”
W hen W ilson had finished his story
I looked up and th e dugout wae
Jammed. An a rtille ry cnptnln nnd two
officers had also en tered nnd stnyed
fo r th e finish. W ilson sp at out un
enorm ous quid of tohseco, looked up,
saw th e cnptnln, nnd got ns red aa a
carnation.
T he cnptnln sm iled and
left. W ilson w hispered to m e:
“Rllm e me, Yank. 1 see w here I click
fo r crucifixion. T h a t cap tain is tha
sam e one thut chucked us Goldflakea
in his dugout and here I have been
'chucking me w eight ubout in hla
hearing.* “
W ilson never clicked his crucifixion.
E m pty tells of a narrow e s
cape in the next In sta llm e n t
(TO B E C O N T I N U E D *
JO K E
ON
SCHOOL
V IS IT O R
Your
Granulated Eyelids,
Eye« inflamed by «* 1 »/»-
iiirs io Sun, Dust and Wind
_ quickly relieved by Marine
I
W C S rycHrsiedjr. No Smarting,
Juit Kye Comfort. Al
Your Druggist* or by mail 60c per Mottle.
For Bask si the fye free write
••
M u rin e E y e R e m e d y C o., C h lc e je .
Truck. Automobile
Camping
and Touring
Trailers
D oubla Your UficioiMy a l a S la iU C m I
WATT SHIPP TRAILER CO.,
a AI.EM r OWE
C hinese Signal.
T h e C hlneso do n o t beckon, as we
do, w ith the palm of th e hand tu rn ed
up, th e flngera cu rled mid th e index
1 finger
successively
bending
and
straig h ten in g . T hey beckon w ith th e
fin g ers curled dow nw ard, aw eeplug
the w hole hand vigorously back and
forth.
Uncle Eben.
"Too m uch of de gift of prophecy,”
said U ncle Eben, “ la dangerous. De
m an d a l know s in ad v an ce w hut hand
| h e ’s g w in d e r git In a poker gum c s in ’
no fit a sso ciate.”
T he Old O rd er C hangeth.
T he old-fashioned lover who used to
plunk a g u ita r u n d er his s w e e th e a rt's
window new has a son who phones to
hla girl t<> m eet him a t th e dru g store,
—D allas News.
C utlcura S tops Itching.
T h e Sonp to cleanse and O intm ent to
soothe and heal m ost form a of Itching,
burning skin and sculp affections.
Ideal for toilet use. F o r free sam ples
ad d ress, “C utlcura, D ept. X. B oston.”
Sold by d ru g g ists nnd by mull. Soap
25, O intm ent 25 nnd 50.— Adv.
To C lear Bluing.
T ie sev eral th ic k n e sse s of co tto n
o v er th e m outh of a bluing b o ttle If
you would have th e bluing flow
sm oothly and w ith o u t d ark p articles.
Beat of Rew ards.
T h e beat rew ard for any faith fu l
work la th e privilege of going on and
proving o u r faith fu ln ess w ith m ore
d ifficu lt ta sk s.—Lucy I-arcom.
ALLKN'S FOOT KAHK E U R THE
TRO O PS.
F o rtu n ately H am ilton Mable W aa Wall
Able to A ppreciate Unconscloua
H um or of the Children.
S h ak en Into th a ahuaa an d ap rln k U d In th a foot-
h a th it xivaa raat and ru tn fo rt. tak aa th a frletiu n
fro m th e shoe and p rev en t* blieler* an d anre
»pole. M&kea w alk in g m ay . A ccep t no eubati-
tu te . Sold ev ery w h ere. 24c.
The la te H am ilton W. Muble, tha
well-known A m erican essaylat, waa
one of those gcnlul men who enjoyed
a Joke on them selves. Illu stra tin g thla
phase of Mr. M uble's ch aracter, it la
told th at when he w as n stu d en t Mr.
Mnble m ade an ad d ress in which h#
told this sto ry :
He iiad visited a school in P hiladel
phia in w hich th ere w as a dally fire-
drill. T he teach er regularly asked the
stu d en ts, “C hildren, w hat would you
do if fire w ere to break out In thla
building?” The children all repeated
in chorus, “ We would rise in our
places, step Into th e aisle, nnd m arch
quietly out of the building. ' On tha
m orning when Mr. M able visited (he
school, while he w as sittin g quietly ou
the platform , the teach er stepped be
fore tlie pupils and said, “C hildren,
whnt would you sny if I w ere to tell
you th a t Mr. Mu hie Ic to speak to you
this m orning?” T he children prom pt
ly replied in chorus, “W e would rise
in our places, step Into the aisle, and
m arch quietly out of the building.”
E nam eled W ars.
T he b e st way to clean enam eled
w are la to use a little o rd in ary s a lt and
no so d a; th is will keep It In new con
dition.
C a n 't D o I t A l o n a .
If a m an ev er becom es tru ly g re a t
It la usually the help of a devoted w ife
th a t la resp o n sib le for I t —Chicago.
Daily News.
G angw ay.
Sign in M ain: B um pus and Catch-
eli.— B oston T ran scrip t.
Daily T hought.
In gen eral, pride Is a t th e bottom of
all g re a t m istak es.—R uskln.
A NERVOUS
BREAKDOWN
Mias Kelly“ Tells How Lydia
E. Pinkham’s Vegetable
Compound Restored
Tier Health.
M aids Hill.
If Is now more th an a century since
an English arm y fought in Italy, and
won th e b a ttle o f M alda over the
Ncwnrlc, N. J.—“ For about three
F rench. Napoleon had vowed to con
q u er Sicily, and for Hint purpose the years I suffered from nervous break
down nnd got >o
French pushed on Into Cntubrla, and
weak I could hardly
began to m ake extensive prep aratio n s.
stand, and had head
B ut the English forces for th e de
aches every day. I
fense of Sicily p repared to deal n blow
tried everything 1
on the m ainland. A force of 5,000 1
could think of am)
inen landed In the bay of St. Emphe-
was under a phy
sician's care for two
ruin, and th e b a tta lio n s of the F rench
years. A girl friend
fell before the bayonets of the B rit
had used Lydia E.
ish. N apoleon's hopes w ere sh a tte re d ;
Fink ham ’s Vege
a t a stroke. B ut th e “daiiy-breader”
table
Compound and
from K llborn trav elin g Into London,
she told me about
by way of th»; Edgw ard rond, never su s
it. From the first
pects ns he pusses by Malda Hill nnd
day I took it I begnn
Mnldn Vale, the origin o f the nume.
to feel bett r an)
—C h ristian Science M onitor.
now I am w> 11 and
T hey Sure Would.
Ilom er V. W inn w as talk in g before
the Indianapolis A dvertisers'
club
about salesm anship, recently, nnd com
m ented on the fact th a t salespeople
w ere too often u n n atu ral.
'‘Eveu th e m erchant him self Is often
u n n a tu ra l,’’ the sp eak er said,
“He
does not act In his sto re us he does nt
home.”
Tom m y's C urious Callings.
“And If some of them 'lid,” com m ent
T he B ritish Tom m y has alw ays been
fam ous for the brilliance of Ills ed one of th e women m em bers of the
pow ers of rom ance, If asked questions club, “ th ey ’d drive th e ir last custom er
he did - not w an t to an sw er by peo aw ay."
ple .who had no rig h t to know. The
Advice to an A uthor.
la te st Illu stratio n is nfforded by a
T he au th o r who w rites th a t he likes
re p a tria ted soldier of a W elsh regi
m ent. H e had been a p risoner In the “th e m an o r woman cram m ed with
cam p a t G utrow , w here th e G erm an anim al sp irits, w ho Isn’t a fra id to
au th o rities, w ith a view to securing m ake m otions, to laugh out loud, to
skilled labor, w ere anxious to learn run, to Jump, to clim b, to m nke a lot
the occupation of th e prisoners. Bnt of noise,” ought to tra d e flats w ith one
surely never before w ere th ere such who lives u n d er a p n lr who nre re
callings—a tre a c le bender, w atchm ak h earsin g fo r an Im itation anim al
e rs’ strik er, a m ilestone Inspector. T he vaudeville stu n t.—S eattle P ost-Intelli
gencer.
G erm ans gave It up.
able to do m ^ t any
k i n d of work. I
have been reco m
mending the Com
pound eversince nnd give you my per
mission to publish this letter.” —Mis*
F lo K elly , 470 So. 14th St., Newark,
N. J.
The reason this famous root and herb
remedy, Lydia E. Pinkham’s Vegetable
Compound, was so successful in Miss
Kelly’s case was because it went to the
root of her trouble, restored her to a
normal healthy condition and as a result
her nervousness disappeared.
LO S S ES S U R ELY P R E V E N T S !
by CUTTER'S S IA C K IEQ P I U S
L o w - p r l* t d f
f re s h , r e t in i »I** ; f
p r e f e r r e d l.y '
w e s te r n
« fo r k -
m en.
b e c a u s e they
»rettet where other
sZl
f f
fall.
vaccine« ran.
_
W rite lor booklet and testimonial*.
10-Sol« pk(. Slack I •( rats. 1 1.1
6 0 -S tit p k | S tack lit Pills, $4 i
U eeany Injector, hut Cutter*« simplest end strongest.
T he superiority of C utter prodi»»ts is due to ». r I f
years ol spec (elisine la VACfiNBS AND «M UM S
ONLY. I n s is t ON c u n u r » . I I uaobUinaUe,
o rd er direct.
Tb s Cuttsr lab oratory. B srbslsy. Calltsnila ,