W ASHINGTON
COl'NTV
HATCH KT.
i.-als, the cheiulcaU act on (bo water.
G R E AT LU C K OF A MINER.
trouble dow n the road, and when 'B ill’ ing off. for she was running at a good
At the end of the prescribed lime lake
had offered to fight Johnny had re pace, and the snow on the tracks made
BtlftOfc force, toaiceaUnJ in some forgotten fused. He tried to keep out of Hill's the cars lurch and swing. 1 looked F o r Y e a r « H e W on P o o r <«• *» P a U p e n out your cylinder, and. l ' « » « " !
you have a round block of gtisteuliH,
N o w H e U K ic k a * « P r in c e .
«ong.
way. but when ‘Bill* said in* was afraid, up and through the snow* and the »lark
John Pierce Is a Tombstone, Ari.. J
That dost
hopes and dream* of love Johnny turned and walked squarely I recognized tin* landmark, ami knew
The cost of Ice produced by this
recn11:
up to him and said quietly: ‘ You take w*e were nearing the water tank.*where miner who, up to a year and a half :
procesa, It Is claimed, will be H -W a
And a* the 1101 «■*. Iiiirm»*iii«jiix ri*** md fall.
ago.
had
difficult
work
to
provide
the
Johnny's
girl
lived.
Just
at
that
in
»
that back.’ I never knew just how it
Cannt bring tt» me in light both clear and
r M r This Is the amount the company
was done, but ‘B ill’ made some sort uieut tin* train gave a frightful jerk necessaries of life for himself and fam
strong.
ily. He N now in San Francis« »» with 'to be formed for the »a ..... . Ihe boxes
The form* of dear ones who have slept of a feint, and the next moiueut the ami I saw* the engine go rearing in air.
» i l l charge for chemicals slittinoti! to
big. hulking lubber was lying on the ami about a hundred feet ahead I $ 230,000 in gold coin to his credit. It
years lo -g;
last a year. There Is to he no other ex
Whom I thought dead, Imt now they ground. ‘Bill’ didn’t seem to know saw a lantern swing wildly in the air Is another story of a lucky find of rich ^
pense.’ The freezer « i l l contain com
what hit him. But he wen« at Johnny and go down. 1 went flat on the car gold and silver bearing «juartz.
livo once more.
Pierce is the name of the new camp, partments for the storage of household
And at tby call come smiling as of yore!
with such a savage look that a Ind and hung there for dear life.
We
O, tell me till* the flight of time was without genuine pluck would have stopped in ten or twenty yards and I Just coming into prominence, about supplies that are usually kept In the lee
to
wrong:
turned feather. But when ‘Bill’ lay swung off the car lik« mad. iir e a t thirty miles northeast «»f Tombstone. tiox. The freezers are to I..... .
That all life** sparkling hope* again nre sprawling on the ground a second time (¡od,* I thought, ‘if that was Johnny!* It is mail«» more conspicuous because, sell, at the household size, for -S1-* each,
bright.
“ »Hojnethlng made me feel that he in addition to its great ore richness, and will last for ten years, by renew
And these dark year* between were but a we found out that Johnny was a sc!
had
gone under the wheels, and when it is about the only gold camp in the ing Ihe chemicals onci1 a year, those
entitle
boxer.
There
w
as
an
ugly
gleam
dream!
chemical* « i l i I»’ furnished by the
I
crawled
ahead a few cars there I
in
‘
Bill’s’
eye
w
hen
he
got
up,
and
as
Lay not thy harp aside, or cruel night.
freezer company only. The company
The child of day's bright hopes, shall he got close up to Johnny all o f a sud found him. lying all white ami still.
It *
s—.
« i l l kts-p the freezers in order and the
o'er me steal.
den he flourished a big Ja«*kkuife he He was t«Ki much stunned to say a
chemicals in good condition.
And this West moment but a vision *e**m. always curried. How he got It out word. We picked him up ami started
While I again .if**’* hitter woe ui ist ft*
of his pocket I never could tell. He to carry him to the house— where Jen
TO B A C C O PRO DUCTIO N .
—Boston Journal.
•
made a lunge, but Johnny dodged clev ny lived. 1 saw that the wheels had
erly and the kuife just grazed his face. gone over both legs—over one near the
Annual Oiit|>ut o f the States Without
K e iin r d t o M e r it .
II»* was on ‘ Bill’ quicker than it takes thigh and the other below the knee.
to tell It, choking the life out of him. My, but he was a game lad, for all tin*
A B R A K K M A N ’S S T O R Y
Whatever the clgartuakers or the ci
W e starred to separate them, but when torture of carrying him up the hill
gar seller might have thought of '?*’>
ler’s prohibition, one class ot Ameri
It was so quiet outside that when we found that Johnny lia»l ‘Bill’ so couldn’t wring a word from him. We
can citizens viewed il «itb undisguised
the long freight train would come to that be could not do any damage with knocked at the door and said one of
delight. At tlrst they could not he
a standstill with an abrupt, awkward the knif«* we let them fight it out. ‘Bill’ the boys had got hurt—that the engine
lieve It true; then «iteti they saw it
Jerk we could almost hear the big. finally held up his hand for mercy anil had jumped the track. A white little
was really a faet their Joy broke out
drifting flakes • as they fell.
Not a then Johnny let him up. A fter we face came to the door ami looked at
tin restrained. In many parts of the
breath of air was stirring and ‘ lie big. gpt them cooled off Johnny made ‘ Bill’ us a moment, and then as soon as she
country mass-meetings «'ere held ami
round moon filtered down through ihe shake hands, and, though he didn't saw me and my face Jenny shrieked
universal rejoicing proclaimed.
snowstorm with a white, softened light show it then, I think afterward ‘ Bill’ out, ‘It’s Johnny!’ But she didn’t
The people who have so benefited by
that revealed near-by objects in a came to think as much of him as the faint or cry. nor say another word.
W
e
just
carried
him
in
and
put
him
on
rest
of
us.
the edict were the farmers. For years
strange, ghostly sort of a way.
1’he
the
bed
and
she
took
charge
of
him.
“ Up the road not very far from A l
these hottest men have been raising
soft coal fire that spluttered fitfully in
a *-/
'jv '
tota..... and ottering it In the tobacco
the old-fashioned cast iron upright bany there Is.a pretty little farm that One of the boys rode over to get a
markets. Their quality was superior,
stove lacked cheer enough to break runs down to the river, and right at doctor, but when he came he saw at
'" ■ ’ f t
\
V
t i *
their curing perfect, their leaves uni
the «pell of the outside air. Without the corner o f it was a water tank. It once that it was no use. It was only
form In size, and their leaf without
knowing precisely why, we sat mostly happened that on this farm there was a question of how long Johnny could
blemish. But they eoultl get little.
In alienee or muttered an occasional a dark eyed little girl who was the survive the shock. He lay there very
The magic word "Havana" forbade the
monosyllabic observation as to how idol of all the hoys along the road. quietly, ami finally when the doctor's
native Industry front being appreci
aoon we might reach Jersey City. We She wouldn't flirt with us, but she examination was finished, he said: “ is
JOH N P I E R C E , T H E A R I Z O N A M IN E R .
ated as It should have been. Tobacco
were four hours behind time and some used often to come down to the water there any show, old man?"
“ I couldn’t reply, but lie knew as I
where back of us we knew was the tank a lid get little packages which
territory. Already there are 500 peo manufacturers rite in se Ives knew the
West Shore express, likewise behind the engineer, who was a friend of the turned my head away what the an ple there, and empty houses from superiority of Tilt- native tobacco, but
time and endeavoring to make up family, used to bring down from A l swer was. Johnny was quiet for a Tombstone are being taken there bod they could not convince the man who
bany. She was plump and peachy, moment, and then pulling Jenny’s hand ily. An English syndicate has secured smokes. And so the farmer, after
something of its lost run.
Hitting in the little red caboose In with «lark «»yebrows and long lashes, with hU own weakly, he said in a the Pierce ledge, and has organize«!
the rear of the big freight train, rum and under them the prettl»*at pair of husky voice: ’ Little girl. I want to go with $1,500,OHO, and ft is said that
bling along through a blind fog of eyes I ever saw. There wasn’t one of home/ And that he insisted an all th»» there Is a prospect of the new camp
snow with a flying express at our heels us who wouldn’t have married her rest o f the night. W e didn't think rivaling Cripple Creek in Colorado.
gave an uncanny sensation that I, for quick if she'd had us. But she was that he’d be alive by morning. But he
Pierce about four years ago took up
one, did not relish In the least. The sort o’ reserved and shy and none of was, and we «leolded to put him on a claim about thirty m ile» northeast
board
the
morning
express.
The
drummer who had boarded the train us had nerve enough to make love to
of Tombstone. There was a water hole
at Newburg sat morosely on a pile her. All except Johnny. All the girls wrecking train had thrown the engine in the mountains, and he took the place
o f grips, which afforded him n softer smiled on Johnny and he smiled on out o f the road ami cleared the track, In order to get the water so he could
seat than the hard, wooden benches them. He didn't have to see the lass and when the express came down we raise a few head of stock. One day.
strung along the sides of the car. A twice before he was head over heels flagged her and took Johnny aboard. about eighteen months ago. he picked
couple of shippers anxiously discussed in love with her and It wasn’ t very All Jenny would tell ns was that his up a piece of stone to throw* at one
the prospects for getting their stock long before he made her know all father lived in New York. But she of the cows when he noticed how heavy
to market without having them half about it. To woo was to win with gave the conductor an address for a It was. “ Upon closer examination,”
Johnny, and regular as his train pass wire,
frozen to death.
says Pierce, “ I saw* what looked like
“ W e dhln’t think that he would lust
At the entrance of Joe, the brake- ed the farm Jenny—that was the little
good quartz and I took home several
the
Journey,
and
about
half
way
down
dame’s
name—was
always
there
to
pieces of the rock and horned it out.
man, hrtwever, the glum little party
h«*
suddenly
clutche«l
Jenny’s
»and
meet
him.
W
e
used
to
chaff
Johnny
seemed to thaw at once. He swung
The result showed considerable gold.
hard
and
then
lay
back
still.
The
a
good
deal
over
the
matter,
but
we
dowa off the roof of the last box car
I went back and got more rock and
little
gild
threw
herself
upcfli
him
job
,,
y j . Q oo .ooQ
and in through the door In a cheery, couldn't get much out of him. Some
took it into Tombstone the next day
bing
as*
If
her
heart
would
break,
but
j
wholesome sort of fashion that warm how, through the engineer or some- |
and an assay showed me that I had
body, though, we found out that John it didn’ t do any good. Poor Johnny found a rich mine. The ledge where I
ed us at once.
picked rip the rock was not over -loo
“ Joe,” said one of the shippers, ‘‘be ny was going to marry the girl if he was gone."
Joe paused a moment and looked feet from a road that had been, trav
w e going to reach Jersey City afore could get Ids father to consent. He
Into the fire.
couldn’t very well marry on the sal
eled for years. It was Just luck I
Christ mas?"
“ W ell," he said, “ to cut It short, wb*a found it,"
“ Isn’t this good enough for you to ary he was getting as a raw brake-
we got into Jersey City Johnny’s fa
Pierce had no money himself, so be
live in? Mow’d you like to be out man.
“ Things ran along through the snm- ther was there. It didn’ t take more had to do all the developing work on a
braking to-night?”
than a glance at his clothes and ills small scale. He managed to take out
M ’Taint no snap, that's a fact,” the mer ami Into the fall, and we noticed
that Johnny had got very quiet ami l>ortly bearing to tell m»? that he was several too» of ore and ship it away.
shipper assented.
a rich man. He sprang into rhe c.iir The result from this shipment was
“ No, you bet It ain’ t,” said Joe, de reserved lik«*, and was evidently brood
cisively. "But this ain’t a patching to ing over something. At last we found and would have pushed me out of th over $3,000. With this amount of mon
out that Johnny hud been promised a read. I knew who he was» and l held ey he sunk a shaft and opened his
what It is sometimes.”
TO B A C C O - O R O W IN G STA TUS .
on to him. and L said: ‘ Wait nt min claim so that it was possible to ascer
Something in the manner in which raise, and that along about the lioil-
ute. Johnny was pretty badly hurt/ tain the ««ten t of the ledge. After Ills toll and care had to take medium
Joe carefully filled his cob pipe, took dnys he was to b*» made a passeng«*r I
a bit of stick from the floor, poked it brakeman, and theu I k * was doing to | II«» grabbed me like- a vise, and said,, this work had been accomplished some prices.
But all Jilt's is changed now. Weylor
Into the fire and III his pipe slowly g«»t married. There wasn't one o f in I in a set voice, ‘Can 8ie live*?’ I sfiook parties from Silver City, N. M., ciune
along and bonded the property for allows the made-up cigar to eotne into
and thoughtfully, indicated that a story that wasn’ t ghitl of it. or who envied my head, ami he gasped, ‘ 11* he---- ’
“
I
led
him
over
t«»
where
the
boy
him his good luck. The fall stretched
$250,000 on a year’s time. Before the this country, but there Is a slight mis
was coming.
“ »Strange,’’ said Joe at last, with a way into the winter, 1 remember, and lay, but he «lidnU want t<# see him. year had expired they sold the bond understanding alsiut the tobacco leaf,
He
looked
very
hard
at
the-
little-
g!rl
to the English syndicate for an ad ami this is rhe farmer's rejoicing.
ruminant look into tin* tire and a long, my. wasn’ t it beautiful weattwr! You’d
steady pull at his pipe, “ somehow to stand up on top of a car. ami as the who sat there sobbing, and said, sJ»w- vance of $100.600 and when tin* year
Tite annual production of tobacco In
night reminds me of the day afore train wound along the river shum* mile [y. ‘ Is this Jenny?’ And then he took was up. w’ Uiell wonrred last week. Mr. the 1, nrteil States has been growing
Christmas two years ago. That was after mile. Just drinking in the air her very quietly In his arms ami klase«L Pierce got a draft on San Francisco greater anti greater for several years
and he at once* came to the city to get past, ft 1ms never been known as a
when we brought Johnny Haines home. and vl»»w. Braking is a hard life, with her.
“ 1 went to the-funeral the next (My. his coin.
Cues» you must *a known Johnny,*’ he l»»ts of danger and pretty sffm pay.
tobacco-growing country, because it
But those «lays we’d forg«»t all about That was the day before Christina*.
Prior >n tw»> years, ago Pier«»» was a has not produced all the leaf It wanted.
added, turning to the shipper.
The
old
n
in’s
hair
had
turned
wkfr.»>_
the
hardships
and
everything
else.
broken-down
miner,
a
man
who
bad
“ Nope. Heard of him. Co on, Joe.
But all who kim« our agricultural pos
Johnny was on the same train with and his face was aw lined and right never hail to» «rxceed $10 at « in* thue. si bill ties stt'.v there Is no reason why
What was the story?”
as
though
he
was
mounting
a
»ojtf-
nn*
and
happy
as
a
lark,
thinking
how
ami
who
was
haring
a
hard
struggle
“ Not much of a on«»." Joe replied de-
a leaf of rib- Imported tohaeeic should
procatlngly. “ Just a brakeinan's yarn, he would marry and g«» up to Albany fol«l. He was twenty year* «rider than to make both ends meet. X«»w h«* ever he asked for here again.
the
nornfug
I
saw
him
tins*.
Et
seeius
to
live.
I
used
to
notice,
though,
that
has
$250,000,
all
in
gold
c*tin.
and,
only It’s a little out of the common
run. The first day 1 ever saw Johnny every once In a while his brow would that Johnny had been brought up. like most men in similar circumstaue«**, DUCKS WITH LEGS TO G IVE AWAY
Haines I thought he was about the cloud up, as If he was thinking «>f like most boys, to have ill the money do«*s not know bow to spend his mon
he wanted. He got wild and in with a ey*. His wife, before he made the T h e y W e r e H o r n in I l l i n o i s , a n d Can
handsomest lad 1 ever set eyes on. something that hurt him.
S w im K x crlie n tly.
“ Such weather couldn't last, though, fast gang, and, to try to »*«n*b him. his strike*, had ro go to Tombstone and
He came up on No. <» on her first trip.
Mr. John Gordon, of Mount Vernon.
W e used to meet often lip and down and when the end came. It cams with father, who was a wealthy banker, help out the fam ily exchequer by do
111., has a duck which has turned, out
the road and got to know each other a squall. The thermometer dropped got him a place in a store- as cashier. ing such orf«f jobs of house- cleaning
a queer kruod of ducklings. One laid
pretty well. He was one of these lads forty degre«*», and a cold, driving rain Johnny’s allowance wasn’t enough, and as she coil 1«J find, while the son. a young
with a fresh, pink and white com that ha«l set In In the afternoon turned lie made it up out of th*»-cask drawer. mat* now 20, honied cattie on the Pair perfect legs and feet, rail the duck
Besides one son, he has a ling uses them all in walking Just like
plexion and a Jolly laugh that made toward night Into a drifting, blinding When it was discovered his father ranges.
you warm up to him at once. He was snow. W e had a big train that night, made tip the nmmint. and then s«*nt daughter, who was given the advan any other quadruped. The other lias
straight and strong, and when he used and with the snow and the sleet and Johnny adrift. He never »poke to him tage of rile public schools- o f Tomb Three legs, hut the third leg Is rather an
to stand Jauntily on top o f the car, the the cold It gave us no end «»f trouble. afterwanl. and when Johnny, after a stone.
train going forty miles an hour and She parted three or four times going year’s good service on the road, ap-
M AKE YOUR OWN ICE,
!i<> not seeming to think It was moving not more than twenty miles, and It was I»eaIe<I to him for money enough to
at all. there wasn’t a girl along the cobl, dangerous work slipping along get married on the old man returned C h m i l i n U A r e U sed , » C ran k 1»
road that hadn't a smile for him as he the top setting brakes or getting down the letter. I found it in Johnny’s coat
Turtied for Fifteen .Winnte*.
went by. The lad Was anxious to stick to make couplings. The wind howled pocket the morning we took him home.”
T h e Invention of a miniature Ice
The train whistled for a station, and
ami worked hard. and. as he kept his and whistle«! an«! the snow cut your
machine has caused the kings of con
mouth shut pretty close. It was a long face Ilk«» going through a hedge. It “ Joe,” grabbing his lantern, escaped geal«*! water to tremble In their boots.
into
the
night
and
the
falling
snow.—
]
time before we found out anything was »lark and the lanterns didn’t show
Mr J. P- O’ Brien is the Inventor, and
about who he was. He had little ways plain through the snow, and every New York Herald.
the Ice machines nre to he put on the
about him that made us think once lu thing *eem«»«l to go wrong. Several
market In the very n**r future. The
M e m o ria l to John H a n cock .
a while that he hadn’t been brought times we thought we wen» stalle«l in
affair consists of a box about the size
For
W
Cl
years
the
touib
of
John
Han
up to work, and his hands at first were the «lrlfts. but we’d um»miplc*aii«l semi
and shape of an ordinary Ice box.
as soft and white as a girl’s. One the engine and two or thn»e cars oi»« kin the old (iruuary burying groom! Pown the center of the !»ox run» a «
has
been
marked
only
by
the
name
o f the fellows told us a story o f how through the drift, and then back up
the toiler for tin* water that is to 1 h * turned
Johnny belonged to a good family, but and take the r«»st of the train through. “ Hancock.” The bronze marker
to Ice. and around this cylinder an*
Sons
of
tin*
American
Revolution
was
got kicked out for some reason or W e wanted to g«‘t through to Albany,
cells, in which an’ placed the chem
other, but we always thought he made for the next «lay was a lay off. auil two placed In front of the tomb several icals whos** action freezes the water.
P I« RUN ns WUU EXTRA l.F.n*.
years ago. and has since remained
It up. and. In fact, we never «lid find days after that came Christmas.
On the top of the box is a crank like
then*.
In.
I
MM
the
(lenenti
Court
appro
impediment In walking 7han"otherwise.
“ Johnny And I fought like beavers
out his story until that night I mean
the handle of a stre«»t piano. This han
against the cold, an«l. I tell you. It was priated a sum of money for the erection dle Is connected with a shaft on which The Other ducks iu the brood are of
the night we to«»k him home.”
normal
appearance.
I felt more anxious of a suitable memorial to mark the spot. are fastened fan blades. Mo von want
’ Joe a t«'P i»fi pulled vigorously at his ticklish work.
This has been completed, and workmen
When
It comes to swimming, how
about
Johnny
than
I
<
1
i«l
about
myself,
pipe for a few minutes, blinked rather
nr*» now engaged In placing It fu its Ice for the day* Just fill np the cylin ever. the three ami four legged ducks
suspiciously several times, and finally for 1 was old at the business and ho
der with water says the inventor of the
show their superiority. Tbev are like
wns new. and 1 kn«»w how easy It was position, just under the shadow o f the
the rather husky voice went on:
Park »m»*t church. The monnaient i:
” many extra paddles or .sir,' to a boat
“ It seems that the lad’s name wasn’t for a sudden Jerk to send a man flying
Id feet high, the 1ms«» is « J .Milford gran
and they can make Is-ttcr »i».„| than
Haines at all. He took that to con down between the wheels. But John
ite 3 feet by d f«»et. and *2»» Indie« thick.
their less favored brethren and sisters.
ceal his own. His first name really ny wonhln't listen. He said he wasn’ t
The shaft Is 12 f«»et «» inches long, by S
was Johnny, though, and. as that afraid, and Just th«»n the whistle sound
Fecund Inserts.
was what every body called him, the ed ‘«low n brakes.’ W e were sitting !n f«*et d luche» wide, and 1 foot d Inches
M. Fougnrd says that a single pair of
the caboose, shivering around a dirty thick. The portrait on the shaft I» after
last didn't seem to make so much dif
aphides will bring 1 . 000 , 000 ooouon.
fm fU fi
When he first came on the little fire. I had frozen three e f my Copley, and is surrounded by a wreath.
*««..,Ml individuals Of their kind' into
road he was a little past 20. and his fingers, and I thought my ears were The »*oat of arms of John Hancock, con
existence In a single season of five
open, boyish ways made some o f the frosted. too. You see the storm earn«» sisting of a shield, on which are three
month», or. say. .luring the mouths of
fellow s guy him and want to play so sinidcn we didn't have time to get cock» on a hand, bearing the crest of n
May. June. .Inly. August » nd Septem
tricks on him at first. But It didn’t on any mufflers, and the mittens were wlngeil griffin, with the Inscription
“ Obatn princlpus,” will !*» display«*«! on
ber No other known species of ¡u,ect
take them long to And out that he bail pretty thin.
W IV IA T t » R ICR M ACHINE.
which can be seen with the naked eTe
“ Well, we climbed out? ami Johnny th»* top of the stone. Under the por
plenty o f mettle. A gang o f us were
breed, with anything like such amazing
laying around the Albany roundhouse ran on ahead, saving that he was all trait Is this Inscription: “This memorial now style Ice box, turn the cra D kX r rapidity.
one «lay, waiting for a train to be made | right ami he’d take the front. The erecte«|A. I» M IH T V X C Y . by the Torn- fifteen minute». giving yourself Just
up. when ’ Bill' Lawson !>egnn to nag j cars on top wen* as slippery as glass, tnonwealth of Massachusetts to mark enough exercise to make the blood elr
How times change: a f e * years ago
him and see if be couhln't get a fight ! and we had almost to creep along from the grave of John Hancock.” —Boston cuUte »n d to sharpen nn appetite for to speak of a nit implied that the
Transcript.
!
one
rar
to
amithar
to
keep
from
fa
ll
breakfast.
The
fan
act*
on
the
chem-
out o f him. It seems they bad some
speaker must have them.
th e
V
ow fr
of
m u s ic
.
V ’M J
1
I
ftl
tx
ti
V
tx
bt
w
ti
The glorious Fourth lias lut.sed
The day dawns bright with cheer-
The small Itoy’s chances to sttrxi?, ’
Art- good for oue more year.
—Washington Star.
l ’oet - llo w do you know the editor
isn't in'.' Otiloe-boy -From your looks.
—Fuck.
It
111
tu
re
tri
vvt
lu
of
oa
First Trump—Wuz you ever married*
Second Tramp—Well, I Jlst with l had
all the alimony 1 owe.—Fuck.
"W eren't you surprised when hepn>
posed?” "N o; why should 1 he?’
erybody else was."—Harlem Life.
Never Touched Her: He Don't jo,
ever tire of talking? She (quloklyt.
It depends upon who Is talking.—Vogu»
Artist—That man Bacon offered a»
if 1- for that largest painting of mine.
Caller—Oh, theu you've hud It framed!
—Yonkers Stateeunau.
It
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She—Young Baggie, I believe, utet
his fences well? He—Yaas, splendid,
ly: but It’s a pity Ills horse doesn't m*
'em at the same time.—Sydney Ball.
tin.
ai:<
ou>
an<
l ’ei
"There!” hissed the Jealous Moor;
“ how do you feel uow?”
"L»own j
the mouth," gasped the irrepressll*
Deadetnona from beneath her pilloi
—Fuck.
seb
eia
WCl
ma
“ It Is simply astonishing the waytb
bicycle is displacing the horse."’ "It a,
Indeed. Yesterday 1 found u piece of
rubber lire In my sausage.”—Cinchuit
Enquirer.
gir.
tail
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Brown—H ave you read this articli
upon “ How to Tell a Bad Egg?" Jons
—No, but If you have anything to td
a had egg, my advice Is to break;;
gen t ly.—U p-to- Ha te.
Miss Kechere (Indignantly) -Did rut
tell .lim Jackson dat e f he married ns
he'd hnb a white elephant on hrs
hands? Miss Snoflaike—No, Indeed. 1
didn’t! Do yo' link I ’se oolor-blind'*—
Puck.
Amicus—Why. do you use the rt-
pressiou funny Joke? Aren’t all Jots
funny? Editor—Not by n long shot
The Jokes that other fellows get of
at your expense are never fuuny.-j
Truth.
“ It seems to me. Miranda,’’ tniilit
Observed Mr. Meeks, "these raksl
would he considerably improved br '*
addition of a little more giuger." s
would you. W illiam ." briefly repot
Mrs. Meeks.—Chicago Tribune.
"W ell, girls, Jnek and I are to
married at last, and we are so happrr|
,“ I)ld you ami Jack have some troul
u getting your father’s consent?" "Ns;
papa and I hud a lot of trouble la
ting Jack's consent."—Exchange.
Mrs. lirow u —I have been so antw;d|
at my hushaud. He lias been at l!
club every night for a week. Mxl
Joues—Why. so 1ms my husband. aMj
he said he hadn't seen anything of
husband for u week. Brooklyn Life
Site- It seems strange that tnea
no longer willing to do deadly com1
for the love o f u woman. He—Ah?
queer, though? Especially when
eu have so lit itch more money of H
own these days!—Indianapolis Ji
"I once knew a man," said the
aginative boarder, "w h o was sofatt
he was actually taller lying down ti
when he was standing up. Ml»1
you think o f that?" "It strike« me
saiil the cheerful idiot, "a, pretty
lying.” —I nd in na polls J ournal.
A Dangerous T ext: "Well. D
Itashury. how did you like the sorting
" l ’ow’ ful fine sermon. Marse Jcia
"W here dhl the preacher take
text?” “ From tint po’tlon oh de
ture whar tie Postol Faul pint* hi*
tol to tie Festims."—Washington Til
Fair Patient—Is there no way of
Ing exactly what is the matter
nte? l>r. Enttlee—Only a pt>st-mo
examination would reveal that.
Patient—Then, for benven’s •*»*■«
otic. I don’ t see why 1 shottl
squeamish at such a time as this.—
M e-fp.
"Modern society," observed titer'*
man, contemplatively. "I'** ^ —
nc'st iif the old-time proverb*.
^
observed the chaperon, to whom
Just handed au Ice. "fo r in*t*nce.
atlays we say. ‘When the
comes in at the door, the lover IS*
of the w in dow .'” —Exchange.
I' "-t Summer t ;irl A tv ye® f*®
i • "hi ( 'hristian 1-!n.l*--.v.*r t*
this evening? Second Simm'cf
Yes. Indeed! Haven’ t you h**r'
--nil¡.-et to be discussed
F r*t r -
Girl - No; what is It? '■
1 j
It ... to Hoi I Our V-siBi
—New York Press.
"I was very glad. Mabel.
111 .•■tig those who «e r e I'tsviv
• 1» bin.I.n
'?'■'■ *
hut I was so provoked with ta
man! He gave nte the
fashionable handshake An*f** ^
»alary o f $«,000 a y e a r ! " j
une.
"ltastus, yon Infernal a U ^
told nte that mule was perWW
and when I went Into the
nearly kicked the top of m? “***
’"Yes. sah; I sayed de mewl
»ah. But e f yo’ kin recco ll*«*
say miffin' about wedder It
In his wlclnlty. Dat
enough to be safe anywMr' "*
lngton Star.
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