EAST CLACKAMAS NEWS, THURSDAY, AUGUST 11, 1927
OUR COMIC SECTION
Under Arrest
P R O F E SSIO N A L IN ST IN C T
A tailor lmd a great desire to hear
one of his customers a celebruted
tenor, sing. Obligingly, the tenor
gave him a couple of tickets for his
next appearance at the operu house.
Meeting him a few days later, he
asked whether he had enjoyed the
performance.
“Oh, It was awful I” replied the
tailor.
“Awful 1 W hat do yot. mean?”
“Your coat,” the other groaned, “It
wus too tight under the an as.”
Page 7
SE5K WOMAN
SOON RECOVERS
By Taking Lydia E. Pinkham’s
V egetable Compound
“A neighbor advised me to try Lydia
E. PinkHam's Vegetable Compound,
which she said had
helped her so much.
So I bought a few
bottles ami tried It
out. It sure helped
me wonderfully. X
felt m uch better.
My work was no
longer a dread to
me. If I hear c ’ any
one who is troubled
the way I was, I
will gladly recom
mend the Vegetable
Compound to them and I will answer
any letters In regard to the same."—
Mas. B ebtha M eacran , 1134 X. Penn.
Ave., Lansing, Mich.
“I had been sickly ever since I waa
fifteen years old. After taking Lydia
E. Pinkham ’s Vegetable Compound I
i got so I could do all my housework and
I am In good health.”— M rs . M abie K.
W il l ia m s , Ketchikan, Alaska.
From Michigan to Alaska, from Maine
to Oregon and from Connecticut to
California letters are continually being
written by grateful women recom
mending I.ydla E. Pinkham 's Vegetable
Compound.
The Compound Is made from root3
and herbs and for more than fifty years
has been helping to restore run-down,
overworked women to health.
Are yot on the Sunlit Road to Betr
te r H ealth?
^ „ ^
9 elieveme , when wt
frt çoueh with you , y o
WOHT KL)N WILP ALL
0 VER.
T he .
W H E N IT R A IN S
Duration of Soviet
Rule Easily Proved
“Comrade” Kalinin Is president of
the soviet union, lie Is a peasant by
origin, l.lke all l "I president* Ka
linin makes a si--e.li occasionally,
lie makes a spot 1 1 y of addressing
peasant audiences. Not long ago lie
made s speech at a farm ers’ reunion
not so far from Nignlx The presi
dent was drawing a grandiloquent pic
ture of life under the soviet regime.
At the outset he told his pensant-
llstenors that Russia « as the first
country to throw off the yoke. Sud
denly he was Interrupted. Interrup
tions are not Infrequent In peasant
districts. “We have land and free
dom." cried one farm er, “hut under
the czar some of us had three pairs
of pants and now we have only one."
"Comrades,” replied the comrade-
president, "the negocs of Africa have
no pants at all.” “How Is that?”
came hack the voice from the audi
ence. “You told us we were the first
to he sovletized, hut If those people
in Africa have no pants at all, they
must have had soviet rule for at least
20 years.”—I'lerre Van I'assen, In the
A tlanta Constitution.
T en d er, A ch in g,
F ersp irin g F se l
Amazing Relief in 5 Minutss or
Money Rack,
Get a bottle of Moone's Em erald
Oil with the understanding th at If
It does not put an end to the pain
and soreness and do away with all
offensive odors your money will he
INFLAMED
LIDS
prom ptly returned.
It r ie Increase*
the Irritation,
Don't worry about lmw long you've
MITCHELL EVE
SALVI'., a simple, de
been troubled or how many other
pendable, safe remedy.
preparations you have tried. This
25c at all druputsts.
powerful penetrating oil Is one prep
aration th at will help to make your
painful aching feet so healthy ami
free from corn and callous troubles
th
ho nhlo to go anywhere
Since 1846 Has Healed Wounds and and at you'll
do anything In absolute foot
Sores on Man and B east
comfort.
Money bock for first bottlo If not suited. All dealers.
So marvelously powerful Is Moone's
Emerald Oil th at thousands have
One A dvantage
found It gives wonderful results In
“I’m ghul my wife Is built long and the treatm ent of dangerous swollen
thin, sorter like a shoestring, as you or varicose veins.
mouglit say." stated Gup Johnson of
Rumpus Ridge.
Physical and Mental
“Why?” Inquired an acquaintance.
Requisites for Flying
“Well, she don’t shade the corn
The exploits of Lindbergh uml
while she’s n-hoeing of It like a fat
Chamberlin have attracted attention
woman would.”—Kansas City Star.
anew to the physical and mental fac
tors concerned In aviation, says
llygefa Magazine, commenting edi
torially on their flight.
Continuous flying for from 44i to 50
hours makes a tremendous demand on
the constitution, since it Involves
sleeplessness, relative starvation and
constant concentration. In addition
these factors is the question of al
Prepared Especially for Infants to titude
and tlie ability of the body to
meet the demands of the unusual en
and Qiildren of All Ages
vironment.
Undoubtedly, n physical examina
M other! Fletcher’s Cnstorla has
been In use for over .10 years ns a tion of a man who has Just completed
pleasant, harmless substitute for Cas the terrifie stress of a transoceanic
tor Oil, Paregoric, Teething Drops and flight would show much the same
Soothing Syrups. Contains no narcot physical changes that occur in m ar
ics. Proven directions are on each athon runners or In workers who are
package. Physicians everywhere rec compelled to maintain concent ration
for long periods of time.
ommend It.
The genuine hears signature of
D O N ’T
Hanford's Baisam of Myrrh
(Copyright, w. N. U.)
She—Dad says you don’t know
enough to go in when it rains.
He—Does he?
She—lie sure does.
He— Well, you tell him I stay in in
the first place.
Lim ited A ppreciation
THE FEATHERHEADS
/ HELLO FELIK—
SAV, FPEDDY IS
SICK — IM SORE
HE HAS A FEVEI2-
ALL BIGHT1—
ALL BlGW T/-POr
HIH TO BED THEN-
Freddy Will Be a Big Diplomat
UjELL FREDDY DOES n T
w ant m e T o SEND
f o b T he D o c T o B~~
he T h in k s m a v SE
HE COULD GOTO
V SCHOOL TOMOPPOW'*-
A very pretty play 1 saw.
. Its. morals no one could deplore.
1 clapped my hands and said ‘‘Hurrah!"
W ith only half a dozen more.
r OH SO I '
T hat ’ s i t ! - '
NO SII2.~SEND
h im T o S chool
, T o d a y / >
BABIES CRY
FOR “ CASTORIA”
No Interest in L ife
Husband (anxiously) — My wife
seems not to have the slightest Inter
est In life.
Doctor—W hat makes you think
that?
Husband—Well, I’ve tried her with
golf, billiards, football and racing, and
It's Just like talking to a stone.
E xplained
S m ith- Saw you and your wife oul
w alking yesterday and, funny tiling I
—when you had to cross the street
she went over first, then you wait
ed your chance and followed.
Sm art—O, th at’ easily explained.
You see, we’ve Just made our wills in
each other’s favor.—The Pathfinder.
/{AB SAYS H6 \
WANTS T o BEST
u p today s o
HE CAN BE CHEER
FUL WHEN VDO
INCOME H O M E « y
T he little
D ic k e n s
|>K
OH WELL— W
F A N N Y - LEY N,
HIM PLAY HOOKEY
T h is o n c e T h e m - /
v
HA HA /
A ppropriate Decorations
W O U LD SO O N IM P R O V E
E arly A bolitionists
Jail Bird
FINNEY OF THE FORCE
D ad—Look here, Dorothy,
like the way these youngsters
ging you 1
Dot—Don’t you know
scarcely more than boys,
They’ll soon improve.
I don’t
are bug
they’re
daddy?
V mulvimill x
'WCK/LU LOIkE-
TO SHAKE TO
YEi. ,SA AC GI NT
/ m u l v ih il l ? . o i '
' DONT CAVMIMBEB
the m a n ! w h a t ’ s
HE LOOK LO IK 6 ?
/ G PA h ì T&,\F YE2
ASK ME - ANO HE'S
HAPDEO W THAT,
1
S o b /—
The first protest against slavery I p
tlie United States was made in loss
by the Society of Friends in Herman
town, I’a., according to an answered
question In Liberty.
Behavior that Is not quite sh irk
Ing can easily he very annoying to
all people of good taste.
If one’s relatives live 800 mil«*
away lie cnn brag more about them.
HM U s END
i n /*
h im
In tellig en t C ornfed— in Style
The Last
D ifference
F lyosan has k illed
a ll his m illion s o f
friends and relatives
Survivor
She looks as If she Is "all there,"
But goodness knows,
That la more’n I could truthfully say
say
About her clothes.
"How much do you ask io r this
place?”
"Ten thousand dollars."
“Thanks. I'm the tag “ollector."
"Ton are? Well. I never was of
fered more than three for it.”
Boy, Shoot This
R eporter—I know a person who has
lived In one room all his life!
Editor—Good! Get an 'ntervlew
right now. Who Is he?
R eporter—Our three-weeks-old baby 1
well - h At? D-B o il e d ,
h o w l o n g . ABE YE2
N IN FEC
.
' EXPECT A \
PA(?0ON FEB I I
BEIN' PO uSH . /
Y NOPE-A
' PE- APPOINTEEtÀT-
o t m T h e n e w I
W A A 12D 5M /,
A m assing Riches
”1 saw an old Egyptian tomb fltled
with priceless treasures."
“Yes.” commented Senator Sorg
hum. “Those ancient kings remind ns
th at graft was one of the world’s j
earliest institutions.” — -W ashington j
Star.
-^ro wonder h e’s blue. lie knows
1^1 he’s next.
Flyoftan has killer] every single
fly anrl mowquito in tliou»nn«lrt o f
hom es this sum m er, llyosnn is the
m odern best wuy «tf fighting flying
pests. It kills them by the whole
sale—not one tit a tim e.
Flyosan is the original liquid
insect spray (lion-poisonous). I m *
Flyosun itself, not one o f its im i
tations. Flyosan not only kills ull
the flies anrl m osquitoea in your
hom e b u t also rids it o f the m il
lions o f deadly, disease-bearing
germ s which each one carries.
G olden O pportunity
“Ry the way. I met Dupont. His
wife Is very hoarse and can’t sing."
“Oh. what about Inviting them both
to dinner tonight?“—Rele Mele, Paris.
A Scalili Bend youngster, age three,
was helping his mother make ginger
bread. Molding it in the shape of a
man. lie placed raisins for the nose,
eyes, mouth and a row of buttons, lie
began to decorate tlie figure’s legs
also with raisins.
“Why do you put rai ins on his
legs?” asked the mot tier.
“Well,” the boy explained, “him got
tlie hives.”—Indianapolis News.
C XFe.ftrn N*wsp»p.r Union
Ml-yAHl/rQ
T' i ter m nn ’• has the riffkt
inseritetele fo r Srich in •
sert. O n eels uheresse
drug» term sold.
"Sw atting” only Bratterà these
germ s into the a :r w hich you am i
your family breathe.
//e re l* the right insertiridm
fo r each in teri:
rL Y O SA N , U q u lei S p ra y — L illa A le. an i
nio .q u ilor a.
PETERM A N *! ANT FOOD — • s te r m in a t e «
■ at«.
PTTF.KM AN’S DISCOVERY, L iq u id — s » le v
m ioat re bed-bug*.
PFTF.RM AN’S ROACH F O O D -esterm ¿nates
Ihiit ciK k rn gch a rm v.
P E H R M W S M o r n FOOD — p ro te c t*
agnina! moth*.
You mrisf have a speeific Insecti
cide for each inject. .No single in
secticide will eV tcrm inute tinnì
ail. e have had nearly 50 years’
experience. V> c knotc that is true.
L V im a n à
200 Fifib A s., .NYC.