Olir ¡Viotto
T he Best is none to good for you,
The be t is always the cheapest.
W o r ld ’s G reatest
Short S to ries
N o . III.
A M U N IC IP A L R E P O R T
By 0. HENRY
If you Are satisfied, tell the other fellow.
Copyright by DoubUday, P.tfe 41 Co
R
If you are Not satisfied, tell us.
“The Quality Grocers”
Waterbury & Chapman
o
h l . s k
»
PART
Estacada,
•
Oregon
Our
New Stock of Rugs
Is Here
Body Brussels, 9x 12 $ 1 5 .7 5 to 18.75
Brusselo ( all wool )9 x l2 $ 1 0 .5 0 to 13.00
Half Wool
9x10/4
$ 6 .0 0 to 7.00
To Keep the Floor ('.lean
Rope Door Mats - 75c to $1 .2 5
Estacada Furniture Co.
Green Trailing Stamps
*2
a r! a\
Undertaker*
$ i o A w « f Ic
The Hotel Estacada
M O OK RN C O N V R N TK N C R S
One of the most delightful
Resorts on the Coast
Local and Tourist Trade Solicited
Quality is Remembered
W e are in business to sell Good Goods
at Lowest Prices. The mail order
houses neither buy your pro
duce, help pay your taxes or sup
port your schools.
Trade At Home.
Estacada Pharmacy
*:
Tw enty-four famous authors were
asked recently to name the best
short story in the English lan
guage. Montague Glass. Gouverneur
Morris and Richard Harding Davis
all declare that 0. Henry's "A Mu
nicipal Report” is one of the world's
greatest short stories.
--------------------------------------------------------
I.
A S T is e a s t a n d w e s t is S a n
F r a n c i s c o , a c c o r d i n g t o L’uli-
1 I A T ornia us. C a l i f o r n i a n s a r e a
r a c e o f p e ople , t h e y a r e not
m erely In h ab itan ts of u state.
They
u r e t h e s o u t h e r n e r s o f t h e w e s t. N ow ,
C h i c a g o a n s a r e n o le ss loyal to t h e i r
c ity , b u t w h e n y o u a s k t h e m w h y .
t h e y s t a u i u i e r a n d s p e a k o f l a k e tish
a n d t h e n e w O d d F e l l o w s b u il d in g ,
l i u t C a l i f o r n i a n s g o In to d e ta il .
O f c o u r s e t h e y h a v e in t h e c l i m a t e
a n a r g u m e n t t h a t is good f o r h a l f a u
hour while you u re th in k iu g or your
coal bills a n d h e a v y u n d e r w e a r .
Hut
a s s o o n a s t h e y c o m e to m i s t a k e y o u r
s ile n c e f o r c o n v ic tio n , m a d n e s s c o m e s
u p o n t h e m a n d t h e y p i c t u r e t h e < it.\
o f t h e (¡ o ld en G a t e a s t h e Ihit-dad of
t h e n e w w o rld . So f a r , a s a m a t t e r of
o p in io n , no r e f u t a t i o n is n e c e s s a r y
B u t. d e a r c o u s i n s all ( f r o m A d a m a n d
K v e de sc e nded», it is a r a s h o n e w ho
will lay his H uge r on t h e m a p a tic
s a y . “ In t h i s t o w n t h e r e c a n be no
r o m a n c e - » w h a t c o u ld h a p p e n here!
Yes. it Is a bold a n d a r a s h d e e d to
c h a l l e n g e in o n e s e n t e n c e h i s t o r y , rrt
m a n c e a n d the atlas.
Nashville.—A city, port of delivery and
the capi tal of the s ta t e of Tennessee, Is
on th e C umberla nd river and on the N. C.
a nd St. L. and the L. and N I abroad:»
This city Is regarded as th e most Impor
t a n t e duca tio nal c enter in th e ro uth
I s t e p p e d off t h e t r a i n a t H p m
H a v i n g s e a r c h e d t h e t h e s a u r u s in v a in
for adjectiv es, i m ust, a s u suhstitu
tio n , hie m e to c o m p a r i s o n in t h e fo r m
o f a re cip e:
T a k e o f L o n d o n fog. t h i r t y p a r t s
m a l a r i a , t e n p a r t s : g a s le a ks, t w e n t y
p a r t s : d e w d r o p s g a t h e r e d in a brick
y a r d a t s u n r i s e , t w e n t y liv e p a r t s : o d o r
o f h o u e y s u e k l e . fifte en p a r t s . Mix.
T h e m i x t u r e will g iv e y o u a n u p
p r o x i m a t e c o n c e p t i o n o f a N a s h v ill e
d riz z le .
It is n o t so f r a g r a n t a s a
m o t h b a l l n o r a s t h i c k a s p e a s o u p , but
t i s e n o u g h - ‘t w ill s e r v e .
I w e n t to a hote l in a t u m b r i l .
It
r e q u i r e d s t r o n g s e l f s u p p r e s s i o n fo r
m e to k e e p f r o m c l i m b i n g to tile top
o f it a n d g i v i n g a n i m i t a t i o n o f S id n e y
C arton.
T h e v e h ic le w a s d r a w n by
I
b e a s t s o f a b y g o n e e r a a n d d r i v e n by
som ething d a rk and em ancipated.
T h e ho te l w a s o n e o f t h e k in d d e
s c r i b e as “ ren o v ated .” T h a t means
JS’J o .O um w o r t h o f n e w m a r b l e pil la rs ,
tilin g , e l e c t r i c l i g h ts a n d b r a s s c u s p i
d o r s In t h e lo b b y a n d a n e w L* a n d N.
tim e ta b le a n d a lith o g rap h of Lookout
m o u n t a i n In e a c h o n e o f t h e g r e a t
l o o m s nls iv e . T h e m a n a g e m e n t w a s
w i t h o u t r e p r o a c h , t h e a t t e n t i o n fu ll o f
ex q u isite so u th ern courtesy, th e serv
ic e a s s l o w a s t h e p r o g r e s s o f a s n a il
a n d j i s good h u m o r e d a s R i p V an W i n
kle. T h e food w a s w o r t h t r a v e l i n g a
t h o u s a n d m ile s for. T h e r e is no o t h e r
h o te l hi t h e w o r l d w h e r e you c a n get
M O N l A l . l t CLASS«
i s u c h c h i c k e n f iv e rs e n b r o c h e tte .
1 A t d i n n e r I a s k e d a i . ^ r o w a i t e r if
t h e r e w a s a n y t h i n g d o i n g hi t o w n . l i e
pondered gravely for a m in u te a nd
;
re pli e d. “ W ell. b o s s. I d o n ' t r e a ll y
r e c k o n t h e r e ' s a n y t h i n g a t all d o in '
a f t e r s u n d o w n . ’*
j S u n d o w n h a d b e e n a c c o m p l i s h e d , it
h a d b e e n d r o w n e d in t ile d r i z z l e lo ng
b e fo re . So t h a t s p e c t a c l e w a s d e n ie d
me. B ut 1 w e n t f o r t h u p o n t h e s t r e e t s
In t h e d r i z z l e to s e e w h a t m i g h t be
th e r e .
I. is built on undula ti ng grounds, and
the rtrcclR a r e lighted Xiy electricity at a
cost <>f S“-.470 pei- annum.
I w a l k e d t h r o u g h lo n g s t r e e t s , all
l e a d i n g uphill. I w o n d e r e d h o w t h o s e
stre ets ev er cam e dow n again.
Per
h a p s t h e y d i d n ’t u n t i l t h e y w e r e “ g r a d
e d . ” On a f e w o f t h e “ m a i n s t r e e t s " l
s a w li g h ts in s t o r e s h e r e a n d t h e r e :
s a w s t r e e t c a r s go by c o n v e y i n g w o r
t h v b u r g h e r s h i t h e r a n d y o n : s a w peo.
p ie p a s s e n g a g e d in t h e a r t o f c o n v e r
s a t i o n a n d h e a r d a b u r s t o f s e tn i llv e l y
la u g h te r is su in g from a soda w a te r
a n d Ice c r e a m p a r l o r . T h e r e w a s I n
d e e d li ttl e "doing.'*
1 w ished I had
c o m e b e f o r e s u n d o w n . So 1 r e t u r n e d
t o m y hotel.
In November. ts*54. th e C onfe der at e G e n
eral Hood ad van ced a g ain st Nashville.
V here tie shut up a natio nal force under
General Thom as The la tte r then sallied
forth and defeated the C onfe de rat es in a
te rri ble conflict.
a II m y life I h a d h e a r d of. a d m i r e d
a n d w i t n e s s e d t h e Hue m a r k s m a n s h i p
o f t h e s o u t h in i t s p e a c e f u l e o n f li rts In
flic f o h a c c o c h e w i n g r e g io n s
B u t In
! an \ hote l a s u r p r i s e a w a i t e d m e. T h e r e
* w e r e t w e l v e b r i g h t , n e w . im p o s in g , c a
pa cio u s b r a s s e ti s p l d o r s in t h e g r e a t
! lobby, ta ll e n o u g h to t»e r a i l e d u r n s a n d
*> w i d e m o u t h e d t h a t t h e c r a c k p i t c h e r
j o f a la dy b a s e b a l l t e a m s h o u l d h a v e
be en a b l e to t h r o w a ball in to o n e o f
t h e m a t five p a r e s d i s t a n t
H u l. a l
t h o u g h a t e r r i b l e b a t t l e laid r a g e d a n d
w a s still r a g i n g , t h e ei»em.\ h a d not
s u f f e r e d . H r ig h t. n e w . i m p o s i n g , r n p a
e ious. u n t o u c h e d , t h e y s to o d
Hilt-
s h a d e s »»f J e f f e r s o n B r i c k —t h e tile
floor, t h e b e a u t i f u l til e floor!
H e r e 1 fi rst s a w M a j o r (b y m i s p l a c e d
c o u rte sy » W e n t w o r t h C a s w e l l , i k n e w
' h im f o r a t y p e t h e m o m e n t m y e y e s
s u ffe re d f r o m t h e s i g h t o f him . A r a t
j h a s n o g e o g r a p h i c a l h a b i t a t . M y old
, f r i e n d A. T e n n y s o n s a i d , us h e s o well
j saiid a l m o s t e v e r y t h i n g :
Prophet, curs e me the blabbing lip
And curs e me th e British vermin, th e rat.
L e t u s r e g a r d t h e w o r d •‘B r i t i s h ” a s
Inter»* h a n gen hie u d lib. A r u t Is a r a t
T h i s m a n w a s h u n t i n g n li out t h e
hote l lo bby lik e a s t a r v e d d o g t h a t h a d
f o r g o t t e n w h e r e h e ha»l b u r l e d a bo ne .
H e h a d a f a r e o f g r e a t a c r e a g e , re d,
p u lp y a n d w i t h a k i n d »»f s l e e p y m a s
s i v e n e s s li ke t h a t o f B u d d h a H e pos-
s e s s e d o n e s i n g l e v i r t u e — he w a s very
sm oothly shaven. T h e m a rk o f th e
b e a s t Is n o t in d e lib le u p o n u ro a n u n ti l
h e g o e s a b o u t w i t h a s t u b b l e . I th i n k
t h a t if he h a d n o t u s e d his r a z o r t h a t
d a y I w o u ld h a v e r e p u l s e d h is a d
vances. and th e c rim ina l c a le n d a r of
t h e w o r ld w o u . d h a v e b e e n s p a r e d t h e
a d d i t i o n *>f o n e m u r d e r .
I h a p p e n e d to be s t a n d i n g w i t h i n five
f e e t o f a c u s p i d o r w h e n M a j o r C a s w e ll
o p e n e d fir»* up»»ti It. 1 h a d b e e n o b s e r v -
n n t e nougii to p e r c e i v e t h a t t h e a t t a c k -
iu g f o r c e w a s u s i n g G a t l i n g s i n s t e a d of
8<|Uirrel rltlcH. .so I s i d e s t e p p e d s*>
p r o m p t l y t h a t t h e m a j o r seize»! t h e op
p o r t u n i t y t»i a p o lo g iz e t»» a ti outiuu-
b a t a n t . H e h a d t h e b l u b b i n g lip. in
f o u r m i n u t e s h e h a d b e c o m e m y f r ie n d
a n d h a d d r a g g e d m e to t h e ba r.
I d e s i r e to i n t e r p o l a t e h»*ie t h a t I a m
u s o u t h e r n e r . H ut 1 a m n»»t o n e by p r o
fe s s io n o r t r a d e . I e s c h e w t h e s t r i n g
tie. t h e sloin h h a t. t h e P r i n c e Allu*rt.
t h e n u m b e r o f b a le s o f <»»»tton d e s t r o y
ed by S h e r m a n a n d p lu g »•hewing
W h e n t h e or« ln*stra p l a y s “ P i x i e ’* l d o
not c h e e r .
Maj»»r C a s w e l l b a n g e d t h e b a r w ith
his fist a n d t h e first g u n a t F*»:t S u m
t e r re-echo»*d
W h e n lie ti le d t h e la st
j o n e a t A p p o m a t t o x I b e g a n t»> hope.
B u t Mien In* l»«*gau o n f a m ily t r e e s a n d
«h*moiis|rat(*d t h a t A d a m w a s on ly a
t h i r d c o u s i n o f a c o l l a t e r a l bran» li o f
I t h e C a s w e l l fa m ily .
G e n e a l o g y dis-
| pos tal o f he took up to m y d i s t a s t e his
1 p riv a te fam ily m a tte rs
lie spoke of
| his w ife . trae»»»l h e r d e s c e n t b a c k to
I K ve a n d p r o f a n e l y »leni»*»l a n y p o s s ib le
| r u m o r t h a t s h e m a y h a v e h a d r e la tio n s
| in t h e l a n d »>f No»l
| By t h i s t i m e I b e g a n to s u s p e c t t h a t
I he w a s t r y i n g to o b s c u r e by n ois e t h e
' fa c t t h a t h e h a d o r d e r e d t h e d r i n k s oil
t h e c h a n c e t h a t 1 w o u ld In* b e w i l d e r e d
| i n t o p a y i n g f o r th e m . B u t w h e n t h e y
w e r e d o w n lit* c r a s h e d a s i l v e r d o l l a r
! u p o n tin* b a r.
T h e n , o f c o u r s e , a^|
i o t h e r s e r v i n g w a s o b l i g a t o r y . A nd
; w h e n I h a d p a i d f o r t h a t I to o k le a v e
o f h im b r u s q u e l y , f o r 1 w a n t e d no
i m o r e o f him.
B ut before 1 bad o b
t a i n e d m y r e l e a s e b e laid p r a t e d loud-
' ly o f a n i n c o m e t h a t h is w i f e re c e i v e d
a n d s h o w e d a h a n d f u l o f s ilv e r m o n e y .
W h e n I g o t m y key a t t h e d e s k t h e
c le rk s a i d to m e c o u r t e o u s l y : “ I f t h a t
m a n C a s w e l l h a s a n n o y e d y o u a n d if
y o u w o u ld lik e to m a k e a c o m p l a i n t w e
: will h a v e hi m e j e c t e d . H e is a n u i s
ance. a loafer a n d w ithout a n y know n
m e a n s o f s u p p o r t , a l t h o u g h lie s e e m s
to h a v e m o n e y m o s t o f t h e tim e . B ut
w e d o n ' t s e e m to be a b l e to tilt upon
a n y m e a n s o f t h r o w i n g h im o u t legal
ly."
“ W h y . n o . " s a i d 1. a f t e r s o m e refle c
tio n. “ 1 d o n ’t s e e m y w a y c l e a r to
m a k i n g a c o m p l a i n t . H ut I w o u ld like
to p l a c e m y s e l f o n r e c o r d a s a s s e r t i n g
t h a t I do no t c a r e f o r his »•ompany
Y o u r t o w n . ” 1 continue»!, “ s e e m s to he
a q u i e t »»lie. W h a t m a n n e r o f e n t e r
t a i n m e n t . a»i v e n t ure . o r e x c i t e m e n t
h a v e y on to o f f e r n» t h e s t r a n g e r w i t h
in y o u r g a t e s ? "
“ W ell, s i r . " v p id t h e c l e r k , " t h e r e
will lie a s h o w h e r e n e x t T h u r s d a y
It I s - I ’ll look If u p a n d h a v e t h e a n
n o u n c e m e n t s e n t u p t«> yountr»*»»m w ith
tla* i«»«- w a t e r . G o o d n i g h t "
A f t e r I w e n t u p t»» m y ro o m l loo ke d
o u t o f t h e w i n d o w . It w a s o n ly a b o u t
10 o' clock, b u t I looke d u p o n a s i l e n t
to w n . T h e d r iz z le c o n t i n u e d , s p a n g l e d
w i t h d i m lig h ts , a s f a r a p a r t a s » ur-
r a n t s in a c a k e so ld a t t h e L a d ie s ' e x
change.
Nashville occupies a foremost place
am o n g th e m a n u fa c tu rin g r e n te rs of the
cou ntry. It Is th e fifth boot and shoe
m a rk e t in th o United S ta te s the largest
can dy a nd c ra c k e r 'm a nufa ctu rin g city in
the sou th and does an eno rm ou s tv hole-
sale dry goods, grocery and dr ug business.
1 m u s t tell y o u h o w 1 c a m e to be In
N a s h v i l l e , a n d I a s s u r e yo u t h e d i g r e s
s io n b r i n g s n s m u c h t e d i u m to m e a s It
d o e s to you.
I w a s t r a v e l i n g e ls e
w h e r e on m y o w n b u s in e s s , b u t 1 h a d
a com m ission from a n o rth e rn liternry
m agazine to stop over th ere and e stab
lish a p e r s o n a l c o n n e c t i o n b e t w e e n t h e
p u p . i c a t i o n a n d m m o f Us c o n t r i b u t o r s ,
Azal(*a A d a ir .
A d a i r ( t h e r e w a s n o c l e w to t h e p e r
sonality e xcept th e h a n d w ritin g ) had
s e n t In s o m e e s s a y s d o s t a rt ! ) H n d
To be continued