Olir ¡Viotto
T he Best is none to good for you,
The be t is always the cheapest.
W o r ld ’s G reatest
Short S to ries
N o . III.
A M U N IC IP A L R E P O R T
By 0. HENRY
If you Are satisfied, tell the other fellow.
Copyright by DoubUday, P.tfe 41 Co
R
If you are Not satisfied, tell us.
“The Quality Grocers”
Waterbury & Chapman
o
h l . s k
»
PART
Estacada,
•
Oregon
Our
New Stock of Rugs
Is Here
Body Brussels, 9x 12 $ 1 5 .7 5 to 18.75
Brusselo ( all wool )9 x l2 $ 1 0 .5 0 to 13.00
Half Wool
9x10/4
$ 6 .0 0 to 7.00
To Keep the Floor ('.lean
Rope Door Mats - 75c to $1 .2 5
Estacada Furniture Co.
Green Trailing Stamps
*2
a r! a\
Undertaker*
$ i o A w « f Ic
The Hotel Estacada
M O OK RN C O N V R N TK N C R S
One of the most delightful
Resorts on the Coast
Local and Tourist Trade Solicited
Quality is Remembered
W e are in business to sell Good Goods
at Lowest Prices. The mail order
houses neither buy your pro­
duce, help pay your taxes or sup­
port your schools.
Trade At Home.
Estacada Pharmacy
*:
Tw enty-four famous authors were
asked recently to name the best
short story in the English lan­
guage. Montague Glass. Gouverneur
Morris and Richard Harding Davis
all declare that 0. Henry's "A Mu­
nicipal Report” is one of the world's
greatest short stories.
--------------------------------------------------------
I.
A S T is e a s t a n d w e s t is S a n
F r a n c i s c o , a c c o r d i n g t o L’uli-
1 I A T ornia us. C a l i f o r n i a n s a r e a
r a c e o f p e ople , t h e y a r e not
m erely In h ab itan ts of u state.
They
u r e t h e s o u t h e r n e r s o f t h e w e s t. N ow ,
C h i c a g o a n s a r e n o le ss loyal to t h e i r
c ity , b u t w h e n y o u a s k t h e m w h y .
t h e y s t a u i u i e r a n d s p e a k o f l a k e tish
a n d t h e n e w O d d F e l l o w s b u il d in g ,
l i u t C a l i f o r n i a n s g o In to d e ta il .
O f c o u r s e t h e y h a v e in t h e c l i m a t e
a n a r g u m e n t t h a t is good f o r h a l f a u
hour while you u re th in k iu g or your
coal bills a n d h e a v y u n d e r w e a r .
Hut
a s s o o n a s t h e y c o m e to m i s t a k e y o u r
s ile n c e f o r c o n v ic tio n , m a d n e s s c o m e s
u p o n t h e m a n d t h e y p i c t u r e t h e < it.\
o f t h e (¡ o ld en G a t e a s t h e Ihit-dad of
t h e n e w w o rld . So f a r , a s a m a t t e r of
o p in io n , no r e f u t a t i o n is n e c e s s a r y
B u t. d e a r c o u s i n s all ( f r o m A d a m a n d
K v e de sc e nded», it is a r a s h o n e w ho
will lay his H uge r on t h e m a p a tic
s a y . “ In t h i s t o w n t h e r e c a n be no
r o m a n c e - » w h a t c o u ld h a p p e n here!
Yes. it Is a bold a n d a r a s h d e e d to
c h a l l e n g e in o n e s e n t e n c e h i s t o r y , rrt
m a n c e a n d the atlas.
Nashville.—A city, port of delivery and
the capi tal of the s ta t e of Tennessee, Is
on th e C umberla nd river and on the N. C.
a nd St. L. and the L. and N I abroad:»
This city Is regarded as th e most Impor
t a n t e duca tio nal c enter in th e ro uth
I s t e p p e d off t h e t r a i n a t H p m
H a v i n g s e a r c h e d t h e t h e s a u r u s in v a in
for adjectiv es, i m ust, a s u suhstitu
tio n , hie m e to c o m p a r i s o n in t h e fo r m
o f a re cip e:
T a k e o f L o n d o n fog. t h i r t y p a r t s
m a l a r i a , t e n p a r t s : g a s le a ks, t w e n t y
p a r t s : d e w d r o p s g a t h e r e d in a brick
y a r d a t s u n r i s e , t w e n t y liv e p a r t s : o d o r
o f h o u e y s u e k l e . fifte en p a r t s . Mix.
T h e m i x t u r e will g iv e y o u a n u p
p r o x i m a t e c o n c e p t i o n o f a N a s h v ill e
d riz z le .
It is n o t so f r a g r a n t a s a
m o t h b a l l n o r a s t h i c k a s p e a s o u p , but
t i s e n o u g h - ‘t w ill s e r v e .
I w e n t to a hote l in a t u m b r i l .
It
r e q u i r e d s t r o n g s e l f s u p p r e s s i o n fo r
m e to k e e p f r o m c l i m b i n g to tile top
o f it a n d g i v i n g a n i m i t a t i o n o f S id n e y
C arton.
T h e v e h ic le w a s d r a w n by
I
b e a s t s o f a b y g o n e e r a a n d d r i v e n by
som ething d a rk and em ancipated.
T h e ho te l w a s o n e o f t h e k in d d e ­
s c r i b e as “ ren o v ated .” T h a t means
JS’J o .O um w o r t h o f n e w m a r b l e pil la rs ,
tilin g , e l e c t r i c l i g h ts a n d b r a s s c u s p i ­
d o r s In t h e lo b b y a n d a n e w L* a n d N.
tim e ta b le a n d a lith o g rap h of Lookout
m o u n t a i n In e a c h o n e o f t h e g r e a t
l o o m s nls iv e . T h e m a n a g e m e n t w a s
w i t h o u t r e p r o a c h , t h e a t t e n t i o n fu ll o f
ex q u isite so u th ern courtesy, th e serv­
ic e a s s l o w a s t h e p r o g r e s s o f a s n a il
a n d j i s good h u m o r e d a s R i p V an W i n ­
kle. T h e food w a s w o r t h t r a v e l i n g a
t h o u s a n d m ile s for. T h e r e is no o t h e r
h o te l hi t h e w o r l d w h e r e you c a n get
M O N l A l . l t CLASS«
i s u c h c h i c k e n f iv e rs e n b r o c h e tte .
1 A t d i n n e r I a s k e d a i . ^ r o w a i t e r if
t h e r e w a s a n y t h i n g d o i n g hi t o w n . l i e
pondered gravely for a m in u te a nd
;
re pli e d. “ W ell. b o s s. I d o n ' t r e a ll y
r e c k o n t h e r e ' s a n y t h i n g a t all d o in '
a f t e r s u n d o w n . ’*
j S u n d o w n h a d b e e n a c c o m p l i s h e d , it
h a d b e e n d r o w n e d in t ile d r i z z l e lo ng
b e fo re . So t h a t s p e c t a c l e w a s d e n ie d
me. B ut 1 w e n t f o r t h u p o n t h e s t r e e t s
In t h e d r i z z l e to s e e w h a t m i g h t be
th e r e .
I. is built on undula ti ng grounds, and
the rtrcclR a r e lighted Xiy electricity at a
cost <>f S“-.470 pei- annum.
I w a l k e d t h r o u g h lo n g s t r e e t s , all
l e a d i n g uphill. I w o n d e r e d h o w t h o s e
stre ets ev er cam e dow n again.
Per­
h a p s t h e y d i d n ’t u n t i l t h e y w e r e “ g r a d ­
e d . ” On a f e w o f t h e “ m a i n s t r e e t s " l
s a w li g h ts in s t o r e s h e r e a n d t h e r e :
s a w s t r e e t c a r s go by c o n v e y i n g w o r
t h v b u r g h e r s h i t h e r a n d y o n : s a w peo.
p ie p a s s e n g a g e d in t h e a r t o f c o n v e r ­
s a t i o n a n d h e a r d a b u r s t o f s e tn i llv e l y
la u g h te r is su in g from a soda w a te r
a n d Ice c r e a m p a r l o r . T h e r e w a s I n ­
d e e d li ttl e "doing.'*
1 w ished I had
c o m e b e f o r e s u n d o w n . So 1 r e t u r n e d
t o m y hotel.
In November. ts*54. th e C onfe der at e G e n ­
eral Hood ad van ced a g ain st Nashville.
V here tie shut up a natio nal force under
General Thom as The la tte r then sallied
forth and defeated the C onfe de rat es in a
te rri ble conflict.
a II m y life I h a d h e a r d of. a d m i r e d
a n d w i t n e s s e d t h e Hue m a r k s m a n s h i p
o f t h e s o u t h in i t s p e a c e f u l e o n f li rts In
flic f o h a c c o c h e w i n g r e g io n s
B u t In
! an \ hote l a s u r p r i s e a w a i t e d m e. T h e r e
* w e r e t w e l v e b r i g h t , n e w . im p o s in g , c a ­
pa cio u s b r a s s e ti s p l d o r s in t h e g r e a t
! lobby, ta ll e n o u g h to t»e r a i l e d u r n s a n d
*> w i d e m o u t h e d t h a t t h e c r a c k p i t c h e r
j o f a la dy b a s e b a l l t e a m s h o u l d h a v e
be en a b l e to t h r o w a ball in to o n e o f
t h e m a t five p a r e s d i s t a n t
H u l. a l ­
t h o u g h a t e r r i b l e b a t t l e laid r a g e d a n d
w a s still r a g i n g , t h e ei»em.\ h a d not
s u f f e r e d . H r ig h t. n e w . i m p o s i n g , r n p a
e ious. u n t o u c h e d , t h e y s to o d
Hilt-
s h a d e s »»f J e f f e r s o n B r i c k —t h e tile
floor, t h e b e a u t i f u l til e floor!
H e r e 1 fi rst s a w M a j o r (b y m i s p l a c e d
c o u rte sy » W e n t w o r t h C a s w e l l , i k n e w
' h im f o r a t y p e t h e m o m e n t m y e y e s
s u ffe re d f r o m t h e s i g h t o f him . A r a t
j h a s n o g e o g r a p h i c a l h a b i t a t . M y old
, f r i e n d A. T e n n y s o n s a i d , us h e s o well
j saiid a l m o s t e v e r y t h i n g :
Prophet, curs e me the blabbing lip
And curs e me th e British vermin, th e rat.
L e t u s r e g a r d t h e w o r d •‘B r i t i s h ” a s
Inter»* h a n gen hie u d lib. A r u t Is a r a t
T h i s m a n w a s h u n t i n g n li out t h e
hote l lo bby lik e a s t a r v e d d o g t h a t h a d
f o r g o t t e n w h e r e h e ha»l b u r l e d a bo ne .
H e h a d a f a r e o f g r e a t a c r e a g e , re d,
p u lp y a n d w i t h a k i n d »»f s l e e p y m a s ­
s i v e n e s s li ke t h a t o f B u d d h a H e pos-
s e s s e d o n e s i n g l e v i r t u e — he w a s very
sm oothly shaven. T h e m a rk o f th e
b e a s t Is n o t in d e lib le u p o n u ro a n u n ti l
h e g o e s a b o u t w i t h a s t u b b l e . I th i n k
t h a t if he h a d n o t u s e d his r a z o r t h a t
d a y I w o u ld h a v e r e p u l s e d h is a d ­
vances. and th e c rim ina l c a le n d a r of
t h e w o r ld w o u . d h a v e b e e n s p a r e d t h e
a d d i t i o n *>f o n e m u r d e r .
I h a p p e n e d to be s t a n d i n g w i t h i n five
f e e t o f a c u s p i d o r w h e n M a j o r C a s w e ll
o p e n e d fir»* up»»ti It. 1 h a d b e e n o b s e r v -
n n t e nougii to p e r c e i v e t h a t t h e a t t a c k -
iu g f o r c e w a s u s i n g G a t l i n g s i n s t e a d of
8<|Uirrel rltlcH. .so I s i d e s t e p p e d s*>
p r o m p t l y t h a t t h e m a j o r seize»! t h e op
p o r t u n i t y t»i a p o lo g iz e t»» a ti outiuu-
b a t a n t . H e h a d t h e b l u b b i n g lip. in
f o u r m i n u t e s h e h a d b e c o m e m y f r ie n d
a n d h a d d r a g g e d m e to t h e ba r.
I d e s i r e to i n t e r p o l a t e h»*ie t h a t I a m
u s o u t h e r n e r . H ut 1 a m n»»t o n e by p r o ­
fe s s io n o r t r a d e . I e s c h e w t h e s t r i n g
tie. t h e sloin h h a t. t h e P r i n c e Allu*rt.
t h e n u m b e r o f b a le s o f <»»»tton d e s t r o y
ed by S h e r m a n a n d p lu g »•hewing
W h e n t h e or« ln*stra p l a y s “ P i x i e ’* l d o
not c h e e r .
Maj»»r C a s w e l l b a n g e d t h e b a r w ith
his fist a n d t h e first g u n a t F*»:t S u m ­
t e r re-echo»*d
W h e n lie ti le d t h e la st
j o n e a t A p p o m a t t o x I b e g a n t»> hope.
B u t Mien In* l»«*gau o n f a m ily t r e e s a n d
«h*moiis|rat(*d t h a t A d a m w a s on ly a
t h i r d c o u s i n o f a c o l l a t e r a l bran» li o f
I t h e C a s w e l l fa m ily .
G e n e a l o g y dis-
| pos tal o f he took up to m y d i s t a s t e his
1 p riv a te fam ily m a tte rs
lie spoke of
| his w ife . trae»»»l h e r d e s c e n t b a c k to
I K ve a n d p r o f a n e l y »leni»*»l a n y p o s s ib le
| r u m o r t h a t s h e m a y h a v e h a d r e la tio n s
| in t h e l a n d »>f No»l
| By t h i s t i m e I b e g a n to s u s p e c t t h a t
I he w a s t r y i n g to o b s c u r e by n ois e t h e
' fa c t t h a t h e h a d o r d e r e d t h e d r i n k s oil
t h e c h a n c e t h a t 1 w o u ld In* b e w i l d e r e d
| i n t o p a y i n g f o r th e m . B u t w h e n t h e y
w e r e d o w n lit* c r a s h e d a s i l v e r d o l l a r
! u p o n tin* b a r.
T h e n , o f c o u r s e , a^|
i o t h e r s e r v i n g w a s o b l i g a t o r y . A nd
; w h e n I h a d p a i d f o r t h a t I to o k le a v e
o f h im b r u s q u e l y , f o r 1 w a n t e d no
i m o r e o f him.
B ut before 1 bad o b ­
t a i n e d m y r e l e a s e b e laid p r a t e d loud-
' ly o f a n i n c o m e t h a t h is w i f e re c e i v e d
a n d s h o w e d a h a n d f u l o f s ilv e r m o n e y .
W h e n I g o t m y key a t t h e d e s k t h e
c le rk s a i d to m e c o u r t e o u s l y : “ I f t h a t
m a n C a s w e l l h a s a n n o y e d y o u a n d if
y o u w o u ld lik e to m a k e a c o m p l a i n t w e
: will h a v e hi m e j e c t e d . H e is a n u i s ­
ance. a loafer a n d w ithout a n y know n
m e a n s o f s u p p o r t , a l t h o u g h lie s e e m s
to h a v e m o n e y m o s t o f t h e tim e . B ut
w e d o n ' t s e e m to be a b l e to tilt upon
a n y m e a n s o f t h r o w i n g h im o u t legal
ly."
“ W h y . n o . " s a i d 1. a f t e r s o m e refle c­
tio n. “ 1 d o n ’t s e e m y w a y c l e a r to
m a k i n g a c o m p l a i n t . H ut I w o u ld like
to p l a c e m y s e l f o n r e c o r d a s a s s e r t i n g
t h a t I do no t c a r e f o r his »•ompany
Y o u r t o w n . ” 1 continue»!, “ s e e m s to he
a q u i e t »»lie. W h a t m a n n e r o f e n t e r ­
t a i n m e n t . a»i v e n t ure . o r e x c i t e m e n t
h a v e y on to o f f e r n» t h e s t r a n g e r w i t h ­
in y o u r g a t e s ? "
“ W ell, s i r . " v p id t h e c l e r k , " t h e r e
will lie a s h o w h e r e n e x t T h u r s d a y
It I s - I ’ll look If u p a n d h a v e t h e a n ­
n o u n c e m e n t s e n t u p t«> yountr»*»»m w ith
tla* i«»«- w a t e r . G o o d n i g h t "
A f t e r I w e n t u p t»» m y ro o m l loo ke d
o u t o f t h e w i n d o w . It w a s o n ly a b o u t
10 o' clock, b u t I looke d u p o n a s i l e n t
to w n . T h e d r iz z le c o n t i n u e d , s p a n g l e d
w i t h d i m lig h ts , a s f a r a p a r t a s » ur-
r a n t s in a c a k e so ld a t t h e L a d ie s ' e x ­
change.
Nashville occupies a foremost place
am o n g th e m a n u fa c tu rin g r e n te rs of the
cou ntry. It Is th e fifth boot and shoe
m a rk e t in th o United S ta te s the largest
can dy a nd c ra c k e r 'm a nufa ctu rin g city in
the sou th and does an eno rm ou s tv hole-
sale dry goods, grocery and dr ug business.
1 m u s t tell y o u h o w 1 c a m e to be In
N a s h v i l l e , a n d I a s s u r e yo u t h e d i g r e s ­
s io n b r i n g s n s m u c h t e d i u m to m e a s It
d o e s to you.
I w a s t r a v e l i n g e ls e ­
w h e r e on m y o w n b u s in e s s , b u t 1 h a d
a com m ission from a n o rth e rn liternry
m agazine to stop over th ere and e stab ­
lish a p e r s o n a l c o n n e c t i o n b e t w e e n t h e
p u p . i c a t i o n a n d m m o f Us c o n t r i b u t o r s ,
Azal(*a A d a ir .
A d a i r ( t h e r e w a s n o c l e w to t h e p e r ­
sonality e xcept th e h a n d w ritin g ) had
s e n t In s o m e e s s a y s d o s t a rt ! ) H n d
To be continued