LITTLE TO CHOOSE AFTER ALL, MEN ARE VERY MUCH ALIKE IN HABITS. At Proof, Jack Dlmpleton, After Serv ing 11 Model for More Than Twenty Years, Fell Down With a Crash. Mrs. Whlttler hud lived with her hus band In a practically continuous man ner for nearly 29 yeurs. During thin period of time, they had been on a practically continuous busls of frlend hlp with the Dlinpletons, who lived just far enough uwny to make such a friendship a prnctleul uffulr. There are always moments when tho worm turns. This was one of them. Mrs. Whlttlor had said, after hav ing reminded her husband that he hud not fixed the lock on the reur door (as lie hud promised to do four days previ ously) : "Imagine Jack Dlmpleton keeping Sullle waiting like that 1" Whlttler glared. An outsider, un aware of the long history of his wrongs In this particular direction, would have failed to understand Ids sudden outburst. "Look here!" he cxclulmed "Unit's enough. I'm not going to stand that any more." "Stand whut," suld Mrs. Whlttler, Just as If she didn't know what he meant. "For twenty yeurs you have been comparing me with Juck Dlmpleton. Every time I've failed to meet your dis torted demands you've been saying that same thing holding him up as a model. It's too much. You ought to have married him." :"As if I hudn't heard that before! Well, Jack Dlmpleton would have kept his promise. He would have fixed that lock" "Stop!" There was a dangerous look in Whlttler's eyes. "We're going over there tonight, aren't we?" "Yes." "Well, we'll see. I propose to find out Just how much better he Is than I. We'll settle this thing once and for all." "Pooh !" Mrs. Whlttler wasn't at all alarmed. Hadn't he said thut same thing upon numerous occuslons, and had anything ever come of It? She merely laughed and they parted for the time being. ' They arrived at the Plmpleton's at 7:15. It was a dinner engagement, Whlttler pressed tho door bell. "Just on time," he said, looking at his watch. "If It hadn't been for me- "I didn't hear that bell ring," said Mrs. Whlttler. "You always do hear It ring. Don't I know that?" "Well, I rang It all right," said Whit tier. "I'm not going to Insult people by making them think the house is on lire." Mrs. Whlttler pressed the button, She had no such sentiments being a woman in easy mental clrcunistunces. "There!" Bhe exclaimed. "You didn't hear anything, did you? That bell Is out of order." She began knocking. Hurried steps inside; the door thrown open. Mrs. Dlmpleton In front. Her husband in rear. Maid coming forward in distance. "My dears I I was watching for you. Hope you haven't beeu wultlng. No, the bell doesn't ring. Of course " Mrs. Dlmpleton turned to her apolo getic, submerged matrimonial tenth, "He knew about It. Didn't I tell him to see the electrician ! Hut that's the way Jack always docs, Now, John," turning to Whlttler, "wouldn't huve fulled to fix It Immediately I wish, my dear," turning to her bus bund aguln, "thut you were only more like John." "Look here!" asserted Dlmpleton Whlttler stopped him. "Just a moment, old man." Ho turned to Mrs. Dlmpleton: "Excuse me, Sullle," he said, "you've beeu holding me up us a model to Jack for ubout twenty yeurs, lmven't you?" "I certainly have. If " Mrs. Dlmpleton gasped. So did Mrs, Whlttler. Then in a flash they all aeemed to understand at once." "I guess It's a standoff," said Whit tier, with a cheap Insulting tone of triumph in his strldulunt voice. "es," replied Dlmpleton almost leering, "but suppose I had fixed that boll why this thing might huve gone on forever." Chesterton Todd, in Judge. Typical American Gentleman. A pleusnnt retort wus that once giv en by Admiral Marsdeu many yeurs ago nt a dinner In Malta. It wus glv- en on the Fourth of July by htm to the American olllcers on a nmn-of-wnr, and nil the Kngllsh olllcers lu the harbor were guests. They were no bettor bred thun mnny Englishmen of that tluy, for whou the regular toast, "The 4luy we celebrate," wus read, they set down their glasses uutusted. Tlie ven erable host added, gently : "The duy, gentlemen, when England celebrates the coming of age of her eldest (laugh. ter." Every face cleared, and the toast was drunk with hearty cheers. Solendld Pose. "How would you like, to be the cap tain of a submarine liner?" "The idea doesn't appeal to me at nil," answered the innu who Is fond of display. "Well, why not?" "For me half the fun of being the oiptitln of an oceun liner would be to stand on the bridge and sweep the eea with my glasses in lull view of hundreds of admiring passengers scat tered about on the upper oecit," Mother's Cook Book. The world, does not care what coll'ire or unlvemlty you graduate from, or hnw many diploma you may have, or how many leLtera after your numo; It asks: WHAT CAN YUU Inj" Cato laid: "I would rather the world aaked why no etatues were erected to my memory, than why they were." Hot Weather Dlihes. As little people feel the heat as much as grownups and are not as capuble of caring for themselves, It behooves the mother to see that her child is fed properly. Simple meals with fresh vegetables und fruits are the best for both old and young dur ing the hottest weuther. Succulent vegctublcs are refreshing because they are served cold and because of the acids and minerals thut they con tain. A few slices of ripe, Juicy to matoes with a good salad dressing, served with a sandwich of nut breud and a simple drink, either hot or cold as seems best, Is a luncheon of suffi cient nourishment to satisfy any ap petite wisely, during hot weather. This is the time to eliminate rich pastries and puddings, serving meat but once a duy at the most. Peas on Toast. Cook green peus until tender, then season well with rich cream, suit and pepper, pour over nicely browned toast that has been lightly buttered. Serve hot. This is a dish that will take the place of meat. Some time, for a change, tuke a little peanut but ter, thin with wuter to muke a suuee, and serve on vegetables. Nut Gravy for Toast. Add a large tublespoouful of nut butter, rubbed smooth, with a little wuter, to a pint of hot milk, thicken with flour rubbed smooth In a little of the cold milk, season well and serve either on toust or potatoes. Vegetable Stew. Cook together a few green peas, some small even-sized onions und small carrots, until tender, letting the liquor remain for addltlonul flavor. Add rich milk seasonings of suit and pepper and two tablespoonfuls of bits of suit pork diced , and browned, adding the hot fat also, to give a rich ness to the stew. 8urprlss Croquettes. Muke smnll cone-shaped potato croquettes, putting a spoonful of cooked green peas In each as it lu be ing molded. The potuto should be mushed and seasoned, and the peus also seasoned. Then fry as usual in deep f Telemeter, "Eye of the Gun" Is a Wonderful Instrument The telemeter, used by all artiller ists in some shape or other, is also known as the eye of the gun. It is really a tube with two telescopic lenses, one on each end. The "objec tives" of the two lenses are placed In side the Instrument and towards the end of the tube. Prisms with five faces act as reflectors, so thnt the person looking in has mechanically spread his eyes to the two ends of the tube, with a tremendous rnuge of vision. Of course, the ends are so arranged thnt they may be directed at a single object at the same time, thus making It possible for the observer to see what would otherwise be beyond the power of the human eye and to know, by the angle at which It Is viewed, the dis tance nwuy. It requires n little practice to use tills wonderful instrument, but In a few days the operator ascertains how easily he can determine the precise dis tance he Is from the object he Is look ing at and by a quick calculation he di rects the pointing of the gun so that It cunnut full to strike at the desired spot. Wearing of Wedding Rings. German women when engaged wear a wedding ring on the third finger of the right hand. Swiss wives wear the wedding ring on the left hand, but widows on tho right. When engaged Swiss women wear the wedding ring with a Jeweled ring under It; when married the wedding ring is under neath. The married man, by the way, has to show his "condition" by wear lug a wedding ring. America's First Canal. America's first canal was dug at South Hadley, Mass., when Washing ton was president. It was completed 120 years ago. That little waterway gave De Witt Clinton his Idea for the canal across New York state the the greatest single Impetus ever con tributed to tho upbuilding of a large city. It was the Erie canal that gave New York the needed speed to puss Philadelphia as the metropolis of this continent. To Keep Plants Fresh. There Is a simple way to water ferns and flowers which will be of in terest to one who must leuvo them for a time without care. Take a washing tub anil place threo or four bricks In ltennd put about two Inches of water In the tub. Place the flowers on these bricks and place the tub where they can get the morning sunshine. The Codicil. "A penny saved la a penny earned," quoted the morallzer. "But," rejoined the demorallier, "the pocket piece you carry for tea years draws no Interest" OUTSKIRTS TRIPOLI, the highly-Inflammable land of Arab and Berber, has exchanged Its peace-time In dustries for the industry of War, and according to a statement pre pared by the National Geographic so ciety, the newer Industry adds little to the normal hazard of Trlpolltan life. Danger Is the dally bread and meat of the dweller in Tripoli, and, in this country flecked with occasional oases and fringed with narrow strips of coastal vegetation, even the principal native pursuits for wealth and hap piness are accompanied by hidden ter ror and grave risk. The principal sources of Income to Trlpolitans are those of sponge gathering, of esparto picking and of carrying on the trans saharan caravan trade. Whether the native son seeks to make his "pile" searching the slimy bottom of the Mediterranean for sponges, or gathering esparto grass In the morning mists of the desert, or fol lowing the caravan of a thousand cam els back from the coast through 1,600 miles of Saharan desert to the distant Sudan, he takes not only his labor and capital for profit but also his health and life. More often than not he reaps disability or death as his reward. Perils of Sponge Gatherers. The wild seas that now and again boll over the northern coast of Africa are the smallest part of the sponge diver's hazard. Paralysis Is always Just ahead of this venturesome laborer who, day by day making foolhardy rapid ascents from the sea bed under press of keen competition, sooner or later experiences the return to ship board in terrific dizziness, which forms the usual prelude to partial or com plete paralysis. Strange as It may seem, many partially-paralyzed divers are able to continue their calling, and the unfitted, helpless cripple In the upper air feels normal circulation re turn to arms and legs when lowered into the sea on the sponge grounds, And the Arab divers of Tripoli, believ ing the disease Indispensable to the vocation, and Inured to hazard In their peculiar fatherland, dive phlegmatic. ally through a few fat seasons until crippled or killed by their chosen trade. Back in the plateau lands of the Sahara, behind the coastal greens In the silent, treeless, untenanted desert wastes, where the alluring mystery of the desert broods under the blighting heat of day and beckons In fanciful shapes over the dunes at night, stretch vast fields of wiry esparto grass, from which paper is manufac tured in great mills In England. In these fields, working for the starvation wage of twenty cents a day or less picking the grass and tying It In large bales to be loaded on camel trains for Tripoli City, the port of Trlpolltania, is another corps of workers who ad venture their safety In their work. Picking the Esparto Grass. Day begins for the esparto picker In the moonlight of early morning. In the chill of desert morning the picker leaves his nearby shack for the field, and begins his rapid task of breaking the longest wiry blades, leg high, from the most matured clump. And In the heart of these clumps ever and again lurks his danger in the form of his arch enemy, the deadly viper. In the clumps, also, are hidden the venom ous North African rock Bcorplons, whose stings now and again prove fa tal. It Is the poisonous vipers, how ever, that make the work of esparto picking a sporting game with death, Of the $2,000,000 of export trade en- Joyed by Tripoli before the war, one fifth of It was produced by the sponge divers, more than one-third of It by the esparto pickers and considerably more than one-sixth was brought over the wide, treacherous desert from the Sudan. Many caravans, some of few and some of thousand camels, fit ted put In Tripoli, undertook the danger-fraught Journeys to the great marts of Sudanese trade Timbuktu Kano, Kanen, Kuka, Bornu and Wadl These journeys sometimes lasted two years around, and brought their under takers Into every species of danger that the desert affords. Robbers In fest all the lanes across the desert, and, besides these, all the Inner desert lies subject to the vengeful caprice of the masked Tuaregs, the strange peo ple who are at war with all who cross their paths and do not pay a sufficient tribute. The bones of the camels and men of IN IPOU IS URISMNG OF TRIPOLI CITY a myriad of caravans of the past bleach along the desert trails, cara vans that mostly came to harm at the hands of marauders; but there are some among them destroyed by thirst, by the sand storm or by the water of wells poisoned in lnter-trlbal wars. Of all three risky Trlpolltan trades, the caravan trade is the most risky) and the old caravan men will find lit tle In the newer Industry of war for which their peace-time labors have not fully prepared them. HELD ACT WAS JUSTIFIED Judge Put Himself In the Prisoner's Position and Felt He Would Have Also Slain. If there was one thing Ossup Mango was partial to, it was a good moving picture. So he settled down in an aisle seat with a sigh of expectation as the eighty-seventh episode of "The Haz ards of Hannah" began on the screen. Just as the note explaining the vil lain's motive was flashed on, a stout man with all his hair in his whiskers wedged himself In front of Ossup on his way to an Inside seat. ' "Pshaw, I missed the note!" thought Ossup. "Ah! He's going to blow up the bridge!" Half a second before the dynamite went off, a thin woman with three babies in her arms got in front of him on her way In. "And I love explosions, too!" mut tered Ossup. But a few minutes later he brightened, for the aeroplane chase started. All during the chase Ossup was gaz ing at the back of a fireman who had got wedged between Ossup's knees and the seat In front. I know!" thought Ossup. "I'll wait for the second show and see the parts these people have made me miss!" And he did, and during the note scene the thin woman stood In front of him on her way out, the fireman blocked the bridge explosion and the stout man hid the aeroplane chase. It was then that Ossup Mango killed the two ushers who came down to chide him for complaining aloud. But later, the judge who tried him, being a movie fan himself, discharged him with words of commendation. Indian apolis Star. New War Game. Playing war got three small boys Into the Columbus (Ind.) city court. They had been reading the newspa pers. They knew eggs were cheaper and also about the latest things in gas bombs. They armed themselves with eggs, playing that they were hand bombs, then lay in ambush to await the coming of the enemy. Just any sort of an enemy would satisfy them. John J. Hosea, manager of the Citi zens Telephone company In Columbus, happened to come along with his newly-washed touring car. Clarence Kep ley, a friend, was riding with him. The boys decided the car was a battleship or a Taube or something like that, and they opened fire. Eggs spattered the sides of the car. Kepley Jumped out of the machine and gave chase. He captured one boy, who confessed and gave the names of his confeder ates. They were loaded in the car and taken to the city court, where Mayor Volland lectured them. The Final Test. "Can you tell me whether or not our navy is a good one?" asked the anxious citizen. "Not yet," replied the sarcastic man. "There is such a hopeless dif ference of opinion regarding our navy that I am going to reserve my own opinion until it goes out and tackles a hostile fleet." Hits American Trade. Chinese are becoming so adept In the manufacture of biscuit and crack ers that the Hongkong product is be ginning to compete with the Imported articles, having already worsted com petition from Shanghai. This will af fect the United States, from which the major portion of biscuit, crackers and cakes for China have been Imported. Uncanny Knowledge. The Charlotte Observer says that "there hasn't, been a red petticoat in North Carolina since the big sleet" That's entirely too much for any one editor to know. Nashville Tennes-aeaa. POWER OF THE HUMORIST Tercentenary of Cervantes Recalls to Readers of History Memory of Other Satirists. The British are not the only people who this year may celebrate the ter centenary of a great writer. Madrid Is erecting a monument to the author of "Don Quixote." Cervantes wus more thun a limn of letters; he wus more than a great humorist; he was an epoch. Muster of ridicule, he laughed the defunct age of chivalry out of ex istence. People often forget the soclul func tion of the humorist, a New York Tribune writer stutes. Ho restores sanity. He clears the atmosphere of extravagance and humbug. Bergson uuys that laughter has "survlvul vulue" as a corrective of soclul abuses. Cer tainly some of the world's most ef fective reformers have been Its mas ters of ridicule and sutlre. There are humorists, like Mark Twain, In whose laughter there Is no sting, and there huve been bitter satirists, like Jona than Swift and La llochefoucauld, who huve simply mocked the "ull too hu munness" of munklnd at Its noblest. But in almost every age there hus been some bold nonconformist spirit whose laughter in the face of some traditional scarecrow has ended the tyrunny of a truth which had out lived its usefulness and become a He, Knighthood In the days of Chaucer had still its noble aspects, but knight hood after. Cervantes wrote "Don Quixote" could never quite escape a touch of the burlesque. Therefore, men turned to less antlquuted and more real avenues of humun service. SImllurly, the laughter of Aristo phanes wrought confusion among the ancient Greek sophists. Luciun's mock ery corrected much of the sentimental Ism of the effete Greco-Romun so ciety. The sound laughter of Eras mus, the humanist, spread the Influ ence of the Renaissance in northern Europe. Butler's "Hudibrns" helped correct the extravagances of eurly English purltanlsm. Voltaire laughed the last remnants of medievalism out of the eighteenth-century France and cleared the ground for modern democ racy. Carlyle's "Sartor Resartus" made nineteenth century romanticism ridiculous. The sly humor of Thack eray brought common sense Into early VIctorlanism, and the sardonic spirit of Bernard Shaw in these times has left little in modern commercial so ciety unchallenged. May the Cervantes monument stand as a reminder to moderns thnt there have been reformers with a sense of humor ! Their Fear Not Realized. The great fear of those whose act here in Philadelphia 140 years ago made this a nation was that the state would not remain a nation, a writer In the Philadelphia Public Ledger says. History has proved In their case the falsity of the epigram: "The thing you fenr will get you." What they feared never happened. We are a young country, but a very old government, as governments go. Call the roll of the nations and you will see thnt a majority of them are babies besld the United States. Ja pan's present Imperial regimen is not half a century old. The house of Hohenzollern Is fairly ancient, but the German empire Is not yet fifty and the French republic Is no older. Austria nnd Hungary were yoked together long after Franklin told the signers of the Declurutlon of Independ ence they must all hung together or be hanged separately. Italy's kingdom Is not half so old as the United States. Portugal's republic Is a thing too young to vote, and the Chinese republic has not yet been weaned. All the score of Central nnd South American republics are much younger than Is this greatest of world repub lics. Nearly half the human race has now copied that lesson which was an nounced by the Liberty bell. Bluffed the New Conductor. He stood at the corner waiting for a car. Several cars had stopped to let him get on but he made no move to get aboard. Finally one stopped and a man got off. "Did you pay your fare to the end of the line?" inquired the waiting man. "les," said the man who got off. "Can I have your seat?" ho asked. "Sure, It's the last one on the right- hand side, cross seat." The man clambered aboard nnd hur ried to the seat just loft vacant. "Fore please," said the conductor shortly afterwards. "Fare nothing," responded the man, "I Just took the other fellow's place who got off and he said he paid to the end of the line and said that I could have his seat." The response evidently was a stun ner for the new conductor and he was so surprised he passed up the fare. New Life Preserver. A novel life preserver has been de vised to supplement the ordinary cork jacket In rough water. By Its use the person In distress Is able to breathe, even when the waves sweep over his head, The appliance adds to the cork Jacket a light metal chamber which floats high, a spout leading from It rising two or three feet above the water level. A tube leads from this chamber to a face mask, through which the wearer of the Jacket breathes. Even If the water sweeps over his head the spout of the air chamber Is still clear and the air supply unim paired. N Most Eminent Medical Authorities Endorse It. Dr. Eberle and Dr. Braithwaite a! well as Dr. Simon all distinguished authors agree that whatever may ba the disease, the urine seldom fails la furnishing us with a clue to the princi ples upon which it is to be treated, anu accurate jtnowujug uuiiuonuup iuo nature of disease can thus be obtained. If backache, scalding urine or frequent urination bother or distress you, or il urio acid in the blood has caused rheu matism, gout or sciatica or you suspect kidney or bladder trouble just write Dr. Pierce at the Surgical Institute, Buffalo, N.Y.; send a sample of urine and de scribe symptoms. You will receive free medical advice after Dr.Pierce's chemist bas examined the urine .this will ba carefully done without charge, and you will be under no obligation. Dr. Pierca during many years of experimentation bas discovered a new remedy which ha finds is thirty-seven times more power ful than lithia In removing uric acid from the system. II you are suffering from backache or the pains of rheuma tism, go to your best druggiBt and ask for a 60-cent box of "Anurie" put up by Dr. Pierce. Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescription for Weak women and' Dr. Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery for the blood have been favorably known for the past forty years and more. They are standard remedies to-day as well as Doctor Pierce's Pleasant Pellets for the liver and bowels. Yon can get a sample of any one of these -remedies by wilting Dr. Pierce. Doctor Pierce's Pellets ara nneqnaled n a Liver Pill. One tiny, Sugar-coated Pellet a Dose. Cure Sick Headache, Bilious Headache, Dizziness, Constipa tion, Indigestion, Bilious Attacks, and all derangements of the Liver, Stomach and Bowels. BUTTERFAT GONE UP If you r looking for Prompt Returns, Good Prices and a Square Deal, malt your next shipment of Cream to HAZELWOOD CO., PORTLAND. The Home of the Satisfied Shipper" Learned Something. "What's the matter with Flubdub? He used to claim that our politicians were the most unscrupulous In the world." "He has been traveling abroad. I think it was a great blow to his civlo pride when he found they were not" Louisville Courier-Journal. Vindicated Self-Esteem. "The Woggses seem to have a high opinion of themselves." Yes. You see the same cook has consented to remain in their employ for three or four years. "So they feel entitled to think that they are rather nice people." Washington Star. He Knew That "What Is the chief mineral wealth of the Alleghanies?" Dunno, mum. 'Yes, you do. What do you carry. in a scuttle?" 'Suds, mum." Louisville Courier Journal. Thread of Interest "This cookbook ought to be popu lar." "Why so?" "There's a love story mixed in with the recipes." Louisville Courier Journal. Foolish Man. "Can't say I like that new hat of yours. 'Yet you liked it in the store." 'Well, it did look pretty when the girl tried it on." Then the trouble started. Louis ville Courier-Journal. Sticks There. The man who drops his anchor In the Slough of Despond never gets any farther. Answers. HOW MRS. BEAN I MET THE CRISIS Carried Safely Through Change of Life by Lydia E. Pinkham'a Vegetable Compound. ' Nashville, Tenn. "When I was going through the Change of Life I bad a tu mor as large as a child's head. The doctor said it was three years coming and gave me medi cine for it until I was called a w a v from the dty for some time. Of course I could not go to him then, so , my sister-in-law told .me that she thought Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com pound would cure it It helped both the Change of Life and the tumor and when I got home I did not need Oie doctor. I took the Pinkham remedies until ths tumor was gone, the doctor Bald, and I have not felt it since. I teil every one how I was cured. If this letter will help others you are welcome to use it" Mrs. E. H . Bean, 525 Joseph Avenue,' Nashville, Tenn. Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com pound, a purs remedy containing ths extractive properties of good old fash ioned roots and herbs, meets the needs of woman s system at this critical period of her life. Try it ' If there) Is any symptom In your case which puzzles yon, write to the Lydia E. Pinkham Medicine Co, Lynn, Mass, " - -