Sold Under
a Binding
Guarantee
Money Back
If It Fails
K
.
For Mm or Btait
HAN FORD'S
Balsam of Myrrh
A LI N I M H NT
For Cuts, Bunu.
Bruises, Sprains,
Strains, Stiff Neck.
Chilblains. Lame Back,
OldSores, Open Wounds.
and all External Injuries.
Made Since 1846. 'sj
Price 25c, 50c and $1.00
All Dealers & c- hnM m,- c&
fill UVUIOia SYRACUSE,!.!.
V m
Monamobile Oils and Greases
and
FEDERAL TIRES AND TUBES
Free Tire Service.
"THE HOUSE OF SERVICE."
MOTOR CAR SUPPLY CO., Inc.
33 Broadway No. Portland, Ore
WEST COAST of MEXICO
ELAINE'S GARDEN
By CLARISSA MACKIE.
It was such a hopeless looking gar
den! Rather, It was a neglected back
yard criss-crossed with clotheslines.
bounded by two neat brick walls on
either side and a shabby brick laun
dry shed at the back which gave upon
an alley. The rear ot Mrs. Frlck'a
boarding house formed the fourth
boundary, and from her window on
the fourth floor Elaine Rogers could
look down on the bleak squalldness
of the neglected rectangle and com
pare It, most unfavorably, with the
green loveliness of the one next door.
"Why don't 1 have a garden!" Mrs.
Prick replied when Elaine questioned
her. She laughed harshly. "And who
would be getting three meals a day,
eh? Suppose you all came In to din
ner and found no dinner at all and
me mincing around In a garden!
'Come Into my garden and eat by
smelling of my flowers!' I'd say,
Humph!" she ended contemptuously.
Elaine said no more about gardens,
but she continued to' look wistfully
down at the neglected space and
dream of what might be done with It
If
"If I had money enough," she sighed,
but there never was money enough
to spare from her salary as kinder
garten teacher. Elaine was quite alone
in the world and this was her first
year at self-support. She had not
known that boarding houses could be
so drear, food so unappetizing, land
ladles so hardened to anything that
Best Land In Mexico. Two Croos Year without annroached heautv
Irrigation, reasonable terms. pne low. Liter- .nr -i j i im -i. - it a
ature and particulars, aiuw nuauiu I urn: Due eicmiweu
Sitting here ana winning will not
MEXICAN NATIONAL DEVELOPMENT CO. bring things to me. 1 must go out
PORTLAND. OREGON atter lnem- Now- shaI1 1 8ttack Mr8
275 Pint Street.
Double Tread Puncture Proof Tires
Made from your old ones. Last long
as Brand New TIKES Write us.
OREGON VULCANIZING CO.,
660 Washington St., Portland, On.
LEARN WATCHMAKING
Pleasant, profitable work not overdone; few
monthB' learning; positions guaranteed; write for
references and particulars. Portland Watchmak
ing, Engraving and Optical School, 218 Common
wealth Building, Portland, Oregon.
Practical Lessons in Hypnotism 265 Pare Book.
Contains full instructions for development and
nractice of Hypnotism; Truth of this wonderful
Science, 11.60. Purack Publishing Co., 828 Cham
ber Commerce, Portland, Oregon.
Wide Awake.
An abnormally fat man lumbered In
to a Pullman on a west-bound train,
and set up a loud protest when he
found that his berth was at the end of
the car.
"I can't sleep a wink If I'm over
the car wheels. I won't close my
eyes If you put me over the car
wheels, porter.1,
"Can't help It, sab.," said the por
ter. It's the one that was sold you,
and It's the only one there Is. You'll
have to take a chair car and set up if
you don't take this.''
The fat man finally decided to keep
the berth, protesting to the last that
he did not expect to close his eyes.
Shortly his snores were heard above
the rumble ot the train, but It was not
until the train had a long wait that the
sounds Issuing from the berth caused
anything but amusement In the si
lence, however, they got on the pas
sengers' nerves, and by request the
porter prodded him In the ribs.
"My goodness, sab,!" demanded the
porter. "If you makes noises like that
when you'se lyln' wide awake over the
- car wheels, what would you do If you
was sound asleep In the middle of the
car?" , '
Trying to Signal.
"What did you tell that man who
asked you If he could marry your
daughter?"
"I acted as grouchy as possible,"
replied Mr. Cumrox. "I couldn't tell
him right out that Gladys has a sharp
temper, but I though I'd sort o' hint
to him that she might have inherited
one." Washington Star.
Objection Overcome.
Nurse Tommy, it is naughty to
nlay soldiers on Sunday.
Tommy Oh, this is all right. It's
the Salvation Army. Chicago Dally
News.
the Very Latest Chart and Instructions in Palm
li ad ng 10c. r'urack Publishing U.. sza mam
ber Commerce, Fortland, Oregon.
Frlck's back yard. No! But 1 can
have a window garden of my very own
and this southern exposure will be
Just the thing,"
The next Saturday found Elaine,
singing like a lark, arranging pots of
geraniums and ferns and Ivy on the
wide sill of her solitary window. She
had placed the last plant and was
loaning out to arrange some falling
sprays of Ivy when something hap-
pened something that brought
frightened exclamation from her Hps
and caused the young man walking
in the garden next door to glance up
with a startled expression of bis pale
face.
The tiniest potted geranium of a
sweet-smelling variety went hurtling
down toward him.
Look out!" warned Elaine, but be
did not move and the little flower
pot sped to its mark between his
eyes. -
Elaine covered her own eyes for
a moment, wnen sue witnarew ner
hands the man was lying prostrate
and a man servant was bending over
him.
Elaine flew down the stairs to the
front sidewalk and hastened into the
area of the house next door. Here all
was Bpecklessly neat and bearing evi
dence of well-to-do occupants. She
rang the basement bell and a Hurried
looking maid admitted her.
A flower pot fell from my window
and I am afraid It has injured the
young man who was in the garden,"
hurriedly explained Elaine.
The maid nodded. "Mr. Arthur Is
in the dining room, miss. James Is
dressing the wound while he waits for
tho doctor."
Oh, is he so badly hurt?" breathed
Elaine.
"It bleeds frightfully, miss. It
struck him fairly between the eyes,'
explained the girl.
"It seems so strange that be did
not move out of the way. He seemed
to bo looking straight at it."
Mr. Arthur is blind, miss," said the
maid gravely.
"Blln.:l!" cried Elaine pityingly; "Oh
no how dreadful!"
There was a murmur of voices In
tho next room and a man appeared
with a roll of bandages in his hand.
Mr. Arthur wishes to know who is
hero, Mary?" he said.
The young lady next door. She
camo to see If he was badly hurt. It
was her flower pot that fell."
Please ask her to come In here,
Mary," said a man's impatient voice,
and in response the three of them
hastened to enter the open door of
tho dining room.
Elaine's victim was lying on a broad
leather-covered couch and James'
skillful hands had neatly bandaged his
eyes. Elaine could only see a fine
forehead, with dark hair brushed
Arthur; "she went away without a
word."
"She was crying, I think, sir," ex
plained Mary.
Crying and for me?" lie jumped
up and paced the floor restlessly.
Later In the day, he told Mary to go
and ask Mrs. Frlck for the name of
the girl who had the window garden.
Mrs. Prick cheerfully supplied the
name, but ot Elaine's present where
abouts she professed profound Ignor
ance.
I told her I wouldn t have any
messing around with flowers and that
my neighbors would be suing me for
damages what with her carelessness
In dropping flower pots about, and so
she packed her trunk and went away
good riddance I say,"
When Mary repeated this conversa-
tlon to her master, Arthur frowned
blackly. "If 1 hadn't been out thero
listening to her singing, the pot
would not have landed between my
Inquisitive eyes," he groaned. '"'
Three times during the ensuing
week Elaine telephoned an Inquiry
concerning Arthur's Injury, and when
Mary told her the last time that all
traces of Its had disappeared the in
quiries ceased.
It was six months after that when
Arthur Pierce walking through the
street heard Elaine's voice once more.
She was singing the same v song and
with her voice there blended a score
of childish trebles.
The kindergarten was a tiny, low
roofed building, with casement win
dows opening upon a sunny garden.
Arthur leaped the fence and crossed
the grass to the open window. With
arms on the sill and his hat tucked
under his arm, he listened, Btartng
with all his might at the girl whose
face he had never seen before, but
whose voice had charmed him by Its
sweetness during long hours while be
had gone about with eyes bandaged
after a delicate operation to save his
vision.
Now he could actually see her and
she was as fair as her voice. He
used to marvel how anyone could
live In MrB. Frlck's dreary domain and
sing so cheerily.
Round-eyed children eyed him with
amusement as they sang and it was
a gurgle of merriment that attracted
Elaine's attention. Her voice enled
suddenly and the childish voices trail
ed into silence.
"What do you want?" she asked
gravely.
"I heard your voice singing," he
said humbly, "and I wanted to ac
tually see you."
"Oh, are you Mr. Pierce. Won't you
come In?"
He came in and Elaine gave him
a seat on the low platform.
"You can see?" she said gladly.
He explained the nature ot his tern-
porary blindness.
"I'm glad It happened," he said
bluntly. "If it hadn't I never should
have met you,"
"Some day I shall have a real gar
denwith worms and caterpillars aud
everything," she laughed to cover her
confusion.
"I'm sure you will," he said with
sudden gravity.
The next day he bought an old
fashioned place in the suburbs. For
months he supervised its repairs and
remodeling, and one October day be
took Elaine to see it and asked ber
to be his wife.
"I really can't resist this lovely
garden," she said, with a happy smile.
(Copyright, 1916. by McClure Newspaper
Syndicate.)
THE HUNTER'S FRIENO.
In a hut on the side ot a mountain
lived an old hunter all alone. He bad
only one room, which was very scant
ily furnished, and he cooked his meals
In a fireplace.
You need not pity this old man, tor
he would rather eat his food cooked in
this way than in any other. He had a
bunk built in the room about halt way
up the wall, where he had to climb a
ladder to reach it, and when he went
to bed he covered himself with a big
bearskin. Beside the bunk a gun bung
on the wall, where he could quickly
reach It If it were needed. Across the
door at night he fastened a big bar,
tor he did not. intend that anyone
should enter while he was asleep.
The old hunter bad set a trap by bis
door, and one morning be found
baby bear caught In tt by the left hind
paw. He very carefully opened tbe
trap and took the little fellow out.
Then he took Johnnie Bear, as ha
named him, Into the cabin, and very
tie,
Helpful Suggestions.
"Mv brain is on fire," tragically ex
claimed Johnson as he threw himself
down upon the sofa and held his head.
"Why don't you blow It out?" ab
sent-mindedly asked his roommate. Bm0othly back, the end of a handsome
Lehigh Burr.
Should It Be True?
Here's some strange news. A sclen
tist says that women are talking less,
and if the decline keeps up the women
of 2900 will forget to use their only
weapon. "Women are not the persist
ent, animated conversationalists that
thoy were twenty years ago," says the
learned man. "Take, for instance,
women in restaurants and at public
places of all kinds, where they are
seen freely moving about with men
Everywhere you see the men taking
not only their own share In the conver
satlon, but even leading It In many
cases. At receptions, too, and at pub
11c dinners, the fair Bex seems, lor
some time now, to be letting the reins
of conversation slip from their hands
One explanation for this queer state
of affairs Is that women, with their
growing Interest In outside doings, I;
business and politics and In the stren
uous pursuits of careers Independent
of men, are becoming more and more
self-absorbed." And only the other
day a man sued for separation because
his wife had a habit of waking him up
in the dead ot night to nag him.
j
Strong on Figures.
"How Is the new bookkeeper on figures?"
"Always runs to the window when a
good one goes by. Louisville jour
ler-Journal.
Cynic Defined.
A cvnlc Is usually a person who Im
agines he is smart enough to be polite
and ill-natured at the same time.
Washington Star.
Peace at Any Price.
"Do you let your wife have her own
way?"
"Certainly, and most of mine." Bos
ton Transcript.
Many Folks Do.
"Does he borrow trouble?"
"Gosh, no! He goes out and buys
It" Life.
L a, a .
C Gee Wo
staceassfal Horn
Remedies
Bis successful herb
al remedies cure all
kinds of ailments of
men and women with
ont Mention, used
from the wonderful
Chinese herbs roots.
buds and vegetable, which are unknown to
the medical science or wis country.
Writ for blank and circulars. Send stamp.
CONSULTATION FREE. Address
The C Cee Wo Chinese Kedicina Co.
16HV, First St.. Portland. Or.
Mention Paper.
P. N. U.
No. 3, 1918
VHEN writing to eatvertlsers, sis I
" tioa (his paper.
nose and Arm, well-cut Hps,
'I nm so sorry!" she breathed Im
petuously.
That's the voice!" he cried excited
ly. "You were singing," he went on
eagerly.
'Yes." she replied.
"You sounded bo happy I was wish
ing I could see you my confounded
eyes" he ended abruptly.
'And I have made them worse,"
trembled Elaine, very near tears.
"Hardly the earth and the plant
were loosened from the pot and struck
me first, breaking the blow of the
pot Itself. Doctor Hurd will fix that up
tn a trice. Toll me what you were
doing, please."
Elaine sat down and told him about
her window garden and how It bad
been inspired by. his own well-kept
plot nest door,
He listened eagerly and nodded his
head many Unit's as if be understood
just how fhe felt about boarding
houses and liack yards that ought to
he gardens and persisted In being
hack yards.
By the time she bad finished, the
doctor arrived and she listened palpi
tating!?' to his report.
"A hnrt bruise It won't help the
eyes any," growled the physician.
Elaine turned to go. There was
nothing ViiC could do save to express
her coLtrilli.il for the accident The
doctor looked at ber severely, the
maid was quite haughty i.nd James
wore a look of stern disapproval.
Tho dnor closed behind her and
Mien Arthur Pierce lifted bis head
"Who went out?" he demanded
aharply.
. Clio young lad,' murmured tbe
snald.
"6be didn't say anything." protested
Fruit Diet and Beauty.
A diet of oranges will clear muddy
complexions and reduce supers bun
dant curves. Lemon, taken internally,
quenches thirst and prevents the bad
habit of overindulgence In ice water.
Lemons clear the skin, assist diges
tion and have a tendency to rid one
ot obesity. Applied externally, they
are a bleach wblch will remove stains
from fingers and neck, freckles from
arms and cheeks and other sallow
blemishes. Pineapple will sweeten
tbe voice, restore the quality If it has
grown husky and assist digestion,
which means that it will help to beau
tify the complexion. Apricots are
used tor the same purpose and are
much favored by tbe Orientals.
Remote Possibility.
"Gadson Is a crank about chimneys.
He has all sorts of more or less ar
tistic chimneys rising from bis coun
try home."
"What's the Idea?"
"I don't know, but he seems to be
an optimist."
"In what particular?"
"He evidently diesn't think his
place will ever be a target for Zeppe
line."
Growing Lonely.
"What Is your object In wanting
your wife to vote?
"Well," replied Mr. Meekton.
want somebody besides me to
afraid ot what she Is going to say,
Drank the Milk Very Greedily.
CAP
A Lawful Revenge.
'I'm laying for that motorist that
almost knocked me down, and when I
catch him, I'm going to glvo him such
a pair of black eyes he can hardly see
out of them."
'Aren't you afraid ot being arrested
tor assaulting him?"
'How can I be? Hasn't the law said
motorists must' have their lamps
dimmed?" Baltimore American.
Acts as a 8hleld.
"I don't like to have my husband
prop up a newspaper at the breakfast
table. Do you?"
"Oh, I don't know. It keeps the
grapefruit from spattering as far as it
otherwise might." Louisville Courier-
Journal.
Incredible.
"Nero fiddled while Rome burned."
"I don't believe It," replied the man
who likes to disagree. "No violinist
with Nero's political pull would have
permitted a pyrotechnic display to go
on as a rival performance. Washing
ton Star.
CONSUMPTION TAKES
350 PEOPLE DAILY
Over 330 people succumb to con
sumption everyday In the United States.
Science proves that the germs only
thrive when the system Is weakened from
colds or sickness, overwork, confining
duties or when general weakness exists.
The best physicians point out that
during changing seasons the blood should
be made neb and pure and active by tak
ing Scott's Emulsion alter meals. The cod
liver oil in Scott's Emulsion warms the
body by enriching the blood ; it peculiarly
irengiaens me lungs ana inroat, wane u
upbuilds the resistive forces of the body
to avoid colds and prevent consumption.
If you work Indoors, tire easily, feel
languid or nervous, Scott's Emulsion li the
most atrengtriemngtood-mediclne known.
It is totally free from alcohol or ani
stupefying drug. Avoid substitutes,
1HI Scott St Bowas. Bloomncld. M. 1.
Useless Question.
"Would your wife vote for you as a
ITTI F RfiY WSC; nFSPFRATF candidate for office?"
" " - I ,., J. ,t,l,
1 UUU V UllilK lUCIO D 11 , 119. Ul Ul J
bothering my head about that," re
plied Mr. Meekton. "I don't believe
Henrietta would let me run In the
first place." Washington 8tar.
Jack, Completely Out of Patience With
Whole Tribe of Women, Calls on
Father for Help.
Jack disliked being kissed. One
Jay he was klssod a lot. Then, to
make matters worse, on going to tbe
picture palace In the evening, Instead
ot his favorite Indian and cowboy
pictures, there was nothing but a lot
more hugging and kissing. He re
turned home completely out ot pa
tlence with the whole tribe of women
After he had been tucked Into bed
bis mother came to kiss him good
night.
He refused.
Mother begged and begged till at
last, In disgust, he turned to bis
father, who was standing In the door
way, and said:
'Daddy, for heaven's sake, give this
woman a kiss!
8tate of Preparedness.
"Do you approve of preparedness?1
'Yes," replied Senator Sorghum. "
haven't got the encouragement I'd like
for preparedness for war. But nobody
can ever say that I wasn't prepared
for an argument. Washington Star,
Comfortable Solitude.
"Aren't you afraid to be alone In the
woods?" asked the sympathetic man,
No, sir, replied the old guide
"when I'm alone In the woods nobody
Is liable to pick me for a deer. It s
the only time I feel safe." Washing
ton Star.
No Cause for Alarm.
The Pessimist It Is only a matter
of time until the land tn this country
will not produce enough to support
the Increasing population.
i The Optimist Oh, don't let that
worry you. Our population Isn't going
to slop over so long as our medical
colleges continue to turn out more
than 7,000 embryo physicians annu
ally. ,
Various Substitutes.
'Do you think money is essential to
happiness T"
'Not absolutely. I know several
women who are perfectly happy accu
mulating soap wrappers and tobacco
coupons. Louisville Courier-Journal,
UOWAKD
II iMdflll.
M. ROHTon - imw ana flasmtsL
a. Colorado. SneWm Driceei Uold.
Sll.er, Land, tl. Gold. Sll.er. ho: Gold. Wo; Slag
or Copper. II. Mailing envelopes a id full prlosllal
feat oa application, joatrol ana umpire wana
unit, llrraosi UarboaaU national
aw Funs
R
ShipDirectto New York,
the International Fur
Market, and Secure the
Highest Cash Prices.
Why Jap to the middleman, who
Suit eventually sell your fun ia
8W York 1110 mak hia nro&l ml
sl you? We pay the highest market
paces. Uurmrthoaaoteradini
aauMailTiiberaj. Weaevereha
eommuaions, giving you full value
tor your nin.
Write far our price Eat and specUl
as.
DAVID 6LUSTEIN&BR0,
ftutwt OrtmMfif Ruw Fur ieeusj
IMff. 27th St New York. N.Y.
TYPHOID!
Is no more necessary
than Smallpox, Aim
experience has demonstrated
the almolt mlrticulous sfr
Cacy, and harmtestnen, of Antityphoid Vaccination.
Be vaccinated NOW by your physician, you and
your family. It is mole vital than house insurance.
Ass your physician, druggist, or send for "Hsv
you had Typhoid?" telling of Typhoid Vaccine,
results from use, and danger from Typhoid Carriers,
frit CUTTU LABORATORY, BMr.rJ.CY, CAL
tessucie vaccinss a siauaa unoss u. a. aov. ucsnse
carefully washed tbe poor cut foot
and bound It up with some healing
salve.
Johnnie Bear seemed to know that
the hunter was helping him, and he
did not bite or try to get away. He
made a funny little noise like a baby
ben It Is hurt. Then the hunter
armed some milk and put tt In a bot-
whlch he gave to the bear. John
nie Bear took the bottle In both paws
and held It up to his mouth and drank
milk very greedily. Then tbe
hunter fixed a bed for him and put a
log on the fire to keep the place warm
while he went for a bunting trip.
Johnnie Bear slept all day, and
when the hunter returned at night he
tried to run to meet him, but his poor
foot hurt him so be had to He down
again. Several weeks passed before
Johnnie Bear's foot became quite well,
and he always limped because tbe trap
had cut so deep.
.The little fellow became quite fond
of tbe hunter and would run to meet
him at night, and when the hunter
brought tn his game, Johnnie Bear
would poke it with his nose and paws
as though to tell thi Lunter that be
had done well.
One day be did not run to meet the
hunter, and when night came be did
not come to his supper. The old
hunter began to look around the cabin,
and he found the footprints of two
bears. One was Johnnie Bear's, which
he could tell by the light mark which
the lame foot made, and the other
was of a big bear which had enticed
Johnnie back Into the woods. Tho
hunter felt very lonely and looked
for Johnnie every day for a long tlmo,
but after a year had gone by gave
up hopes of ever seeing Johnnie again,
A long time after this the hunter
was going through a part of the wood
that was filled wttb bushes and vines
and In some way his feet became
entangled and be fell, breaking his
arm. His gun fell some distance from
him, and as he went to pick It up he
saw a big mother bear with two cubs
coming toward him. She was growl
ing and showing her teeth, and the
hunter felt that he bad little chance
for escape from a tight. He wondered
how the fight might come out.
He braced himself against a tree
and waited for the bear to come up.
Ue held his gun In his left band. In
tending to use It to beat ber of! as
long as possible. Just then another
bear came In sight, and the poor hunt
er gave up all hope. But all at once
the first bear stopped and looked at
the other boar, IheS suddenly walked
toward him. Both stood and looked at
the hunter, wbo did not move Sud
denly the second bear growled strange
ly, and the first bear walked away
with the two cubs. Then the second
bear came nearer, and as be walsed
the hunter saw that he limped. It
was Johnnie Bear, and In some un
known language he had sent the other
bear away and saved the hunter's life.
He did not come any nearer tbe hunt
er, but only looked at him as though
to say: "You saved my life once,
now I have paid my debt to you."
Then he limped away In the direction
the other bears bad gone. Perhaps
the mother bear was Johnnie's wife,
ind the cubs were their children.
Who can tejl?
The True Reason.
"People say this man could have bad
ny office he wanted, but he chose pri
vate life."
"Don't you believe that, my son,
said the vetoran campaigner. "Many
Her Jewels.
Mrs. Subbubs I wonder where lit
tle Willie and David are? Did you
see anything of my jewels as you
came along, Mr. Nexdore?
Nexdore Yes, I did, ma'am. Your
jewels are in soak. I saw them swim
ming in the river. Boston Transcript.
man gets the credit for refusing all
political preferment when, as a matter
of fact, lie merely bad sense enough
to know that he could not get the one
Job he'd set his heart on."
Might Be Worse.
You see before you," said the mel
ancholy man, "a plaything of fate.'
What's the matter with you?'
asked his friend.
I was Just about to mortgage my
house to buy an automobile, when tt
burned down."
X'niph! You've lost your house, but
the chances are you've saved your
neck."
Recommendation Not Necessary,
"So you're going to leave us, Mary."
"Yes, mum. I've got to."'
"And do you want me to give you a
tetter of recommendation?"
'It ain't necessary, mum. The man
I'm going to work for Is willing to
take chances. I'm leavlu' to get man
ried."
Pacific Ambition.
"Caligula wished that Home had a
single neck, so that bo might sever It
at a blow.
Times are different. Now I wl3h
that 1 could build a graphophono big
enough to record the voice of the
people."
Wifehood Her Aim.
First Girl Student Are you going
to try for an M. A. next?
Second Girl Student No; I'm going
to try for an M. R. S. Boston Tran
script TRY THIS EASY WAY
TO CLEAR YOUR SKIN
WITH RESINOL SOAP
Bathe your face for several minutes
working the creamy lather into the
skin gently with the finger-tips, men
wash off with more Reslnol Soap and
warm water, finishing with a dash of
clear cold water to close the pores
Do this once or twice a day, and you
will be astonished how quickly the
healing, antiseptic Reslnol medication
soothes and cleanses the pores, re
moves Dimples and blackheads, and
leaves the complexion clear, fresh and
velvety. In severe cases a little Res
lnol Ointment should also be used.
Reslnol Soap Is sold by all druggists.
Three In One.
"Now this typewriter is equipped
with all the summer attachments."
"Summer attachments?"
"A small mirror, a miniature clock
and a thermometer; everything a girl
has to consult frequently." Louisville
Courier-Journal.
Next Door.
"How's your marksmanship?" asked
the bandit chief.
"Improving," replied the trusty lieu
tenant "I tried out a man this morn
ing In a shootlug-across-the-border
test."
"Did he hit his mark?"
"No. But he came close. He aimed
at New Mexico and hit Arizona."
Washington Star.
His Device.
"Hullo, Toml What's this I hear
about your having some labor-saving
device?"
'It's true, all right, I'm going to
marry an heiress. 'Boston 'Iran,
script
Touching the Doctor.
"Oh, doctor, I feel funny Inside!"
"What have you been eating?"
"That's juBt the trouble, doctor. I
ain't had nothing to eat for a week,
Can you spare a copper?" Firefly.
Indirect Victim.
' '"I see you have a cold like every
body else."
"This lBn't a cold. I simply got
hoarse telling all my friends how to
cure their colds." Washington Star.
A Theory Only.
"This Is a free country."
"Yes, In theory."
"Why, what do you mean?"
"Isn't It composed mainly of mar
ried men?" Baltimore American.
A DAINTY DISH.
Capable Crying.
"I hear that beautiful actress wept
copiously at the proper places during
her trial."
"Cry? She made the official court
crier look like a rank amateur.
Louisville Courier-Journal.
TIv Healthy, Strong, Beautiful Fye
Oculists aud Physicians used Murluo Kye
Remedy many yearn before it was olTered as m
Domestic Eye Medicine. Murine Is SHU Com
pounded by Our Physicians and guaranteed
by them as a Reliable Roller for Eyea that Need
Car. Try It In your Byes and In Baby's Eyes-
No Smarting Just uye uomiort. ouy uuriu
of your DrugRiat accept no Substitute, and if
Interested write for Bok of the Eve Free.
MliUlNU KVlfl KKMEUlf CO., ClilCAUO
Lessons In Memory.
Jaffrey How do you suppose that
dear old man remembered exactly how
much he paid for his gold tooth, which
he bought 40 years ago?
Agnes Why, I suppose he carried
It in his head. Lampoon.
- Shake Into Tour fsnoea
A1W VW-F.aaa. a nowdr for the feet. Tt cure
painful, swollen, smarting, sweating feet Make
new shoes easy, nolo oy an unis;
gtores. Don't accept any substitute. Ramp!
rUhlB. Address A. 8. Olmsted. L Koy, M . X.
Unlimited Quantities.
"Did Mother Eve really dress In
leaves?"
"So we are told, my child."
"What a lot of old clothes she must
have had to give away In the fall!"
Louisville Courier-Journal.
Their Utility.
"If everything has a use, what are
Idiots good for?"
"Well, if it wasn't for idiots, were
wouldn't be anybody to look for gas
leaks with a lighted candle or to rock
boats." Baltimore American.
Had Part of It Already.
"01, Oi!" chortled Casey, "an' did
Maloney give yez th' black oye?"
"He did not," retorted Murphy with
dignity, "he gave me only th' black.
Ol hod th' oye ahl th' time." Medley.
Mild Way of Saying "You Llel"
Hobbs (telling a tall story) I as
sure you, old man, If I hadn't seen It
myself I wouldn't believe it.
Dobbs Then you'll understand why
I don't. Boston Transcript
Natural Effect.
"I wish, ma, you wouldn't call me
your lamb before people."
"Why not, Willie?"
"Because It makes me feel so sheep
ish." Baltimore American.
Ancient Achievement
"Is all this about the Trojan war?'
ask)d the student.
"It Is," replied the professor.
"Well, somebody was a wonder to
get all that past the censor."
Favorite Office Motto.
"Do It now" Is a favorite motto that
hangs In tbe business office of thou
sands of prompt and successful busl
ness men. Every boy who expects to
succeed should bang the same motto
In bis heart, and "Do it now."
Good Training for Boys.
The care of animals Is good training
for any person, 'especially a boy. Be
sides Increasing bis love for dumb
things. It makes blm careful, syste
matic and neat, provided he cares tor
them in tbe besl manner.
What's thnt noise?"
Four and twenty blackbirds baked
In a pie, your majeBty."
"Take 'cm back to the chef and tell
him to bake em till they don t feel
like singing. 1 can't eat rare birds.'
Of Course, There Were.
"Pod. In the days when people used
to fall down and worship the sun"
"Well, my boy?"
"Were there a lot ot heat prostra
tions?" Baltimore American. ,
Seems Probable.
"There is still said to be shortage in
dyestuffs for ladles' hosiery."
"Um. Another white Christmas."
Louisville Courier-Journal.
What We've Come To.
'In the old days when a man de
clared himself a Roman citizen no one
dared harm him."
"True. And nowadays when a trav
eler In a foreign land says he's an
American citizen, oftlclals In gold braid
seem to think It's some kind of joke.
That's Different
"It doesn't pay to argue with your
wife."
"I never get a chance to, but she
sometimes argues with me."
8lang In a Hat Store.
"What can we do for you, strt"
"I want to buy a silk hat"
"Yesslr. Jim, show this gentleman
some periscopes." Kansas City Jour
nal.
Quite True.
Wife Mrs. Brooks says society Is
hnllnw that there Isn't anything In It-
Husband-Well, there Isn't anything ,ng
in anything nowadays, my dear, if you
don't put something In It Judge,
Money Saved.
Ever make any money in the stock
market?"
"No, but I've saved a lot by not play-
Taking Life Easy.
"How's your son?"
"Fine! He's taking life easy since
he graduated."
"What's he doing?"
"Sticking pigs at the abattoir."
Carefully Prepared.
"Does your husband make a report
to you of how he employs his time?"
"Yes. But he censors it"-Washington
Star.
7jf3sHf Milker
' 1b2jf h always a y eow.
K2tj5r I "Ins eowa in ten can ba , boia
a. sttaar heallliy and profitable if th
JTS tlrstaisnot reduced muk yield is
1 yeeognlaed as a danger signal.
J fcAeowseanosuanybetooedopbythswof
A- kow-Kurs. the areat eow medicine. IJsed toe
I twenty years for the mm and pre""!""? or ADor
El tion. Barrenness. Milk f"r'8r??"n1 U"
II Appetite, Bunches and Ketsiued AfterUrta.
If Bold hydruaiHsta and feed dealers ia
He sad II packages. f
I Dairy AteocUtioa Ce(
I Lyndonvill. I flf Jl
Naturally.
Lawson What did you think when
you realized that your automobile was
turning turtle the other day?
Dawson Well, my first thought
was: 1 am In tbe soup
Watch Your Colts
For Coughs, Colds and Distemper, and at the first symptoms
of ny auch ailment, give small doses of that womlvful
remedy, now the most used In existence
SPOHN'S DISTEMPER COMPOUND
10 cent! and H a bottle; 15 and 10 th dosen, of any drug,
gilt, barneu dealer, or delivered by
8POHN MEDICAL CO.,
Chsmleta and Bacteriologists, Qoihtn, Ind., U. . A.