POULTRY and Dairy Produce of all kinds wanted. Writ for our CASH OFFER Pearson-Page Co. rZTd TYPEWRITERS, ALL MAKES TpWfn Larg-e assortment, Spe irvrl&l Prices. REMINGTON At':pW SMITH PREMIER. $15 Up. Machines shipped on approval and guaran teed by Home concern. Write for Bam plea of work, stating make preferred. TYPEWRITER EXCHANGE, 351 Wash. St., Portland, Or. NEW HOTEL HOUSTON Dave Houston, Prop. H. B. Thoranes, Mgr. Thoroughly modern. 101 Rooms of comfort. Mod erate Prices. Three minutes' walk from Union Depot. Write for rates. 72 H. Scud St, PORTLAND, OR. COMB to MONTANA. Good climate, good times, Sood crops. Have good ranch for sale cheap. Ad ress John G. Rower, Augusta. Mont AGENTS WANTED If we hod your address we could tell you how to make money. Write today. Right away. The Dingman Company, 604 Panama Building, Port land, Oregon. The Cocktail. The cocktail was Invented by Mrs. Elizabeth Flanagan, widow of an Irish soldier who (ell in the service of the American army during the revolution. After her husband's death Mrs. Flan agan became an army sutler, follow ing a troop of Virginia horse under Colonel Burr. In the winter of 1779 she took up quarters with the troop In a place called Four Corners, on the road between Tarrytown and White Plains, N. Y. near the demesne of John D. Rockefeller. There Mrs. Flanagan set up a hotel which soon became the rendezvous of the "swells" of that day. One day the hostess surprised her guests by announcing a new drink the cocktail supposed to have been named after the blending of colors In the tail of a game cock Philadelphia Public Ledger. Quite Particular. "Why is there such a hot fight over the appointment of a postmaster in this town? asked the stranger. "The office doesn't pay anything much, does it?" "That ain't It, mister," replied the native. "You see, most of us are par ticular as to who reads our postal cards." A Better Term. "Not much of a town." "One-horse, eh?" "Well, a trifle faBter than that. Sup pose we say one-cylinder." Puck. MRS. THOMSON TELLS How She Was Helped During Change of Life by Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound. Philadelphia, Pa. "I am just52yeara of age and during Change of Life I suf- I fered for six years terribly. I tried sev eral doctors but none seemed to give me any relief. Every I month the peinswere intense in both sides, and made me so weak that I had to go to bed. At last a friend recommen ded Lydia E. Pink ham's Vegetable Compound to me and I tried it at once and found much relief. After that I had no pains at all and could do my housework and shopping the same as always. For years I have praised Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com pound for what it has done for me, and shall always recommend it as a wo man s friend. You are at liberty to use my letter in anyway. "Mrs. Thomson, 649 W. Russell St, Philadelphia, Pa, Change of Life is one of the most critical periods of a woman s existence. Women everywhere should remember that there is no other remedy known to carry women so successfully through this trying period as Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound. If you want special advice writ to Lydia E. Pinkham Med' Icine Co. (confidential), Lynn, Mass. Your letter will be opened, read and answered by a woman and held in strict confidence. DENTAL HEADQUARTERS FOR OUT-OF-TOWN PEOPLE People from all parts of Oregon and Washing' ton constantly visit our urhce for dental treat ment. Our skill is ac knowledged, and our :romDtness in finish' mi work fn one day w hen req u ired is app re- i-iated by out-of-town 4 a patroni. Dr. Wise La a latae- nnth exnert. There is "ALWAYS ONE BEST" in every calhmT, and Or. Wise lays claim to A this distinction in ure- imn. II IUT1 What we can't fruar antee we don't do. LOW PRICES FOR HIGH-GRADE WORK. Good Red Rubber Plates, each 16.00 The Heat Red Robber Plate, each 7.50 22-Karat Gold or Porcelaia Crowa 8.00 WISE DENTAL CO. RELIABLE PAINLESS DENTISTS, Paosur-Mala 102. A 2029. IBH Third Stmt, Failing Bldg.. Portland. Ongol 8. C Cm. Third and WaeMngteav 11- - 1 1 TUT A- P. N. U. NO. 44, 1914 WHEN wrlrlmg to advsttissrs, Bhmja M EXPLANATION BY MR. JONES Circumstances Alter Cases. Said In diana Citizen Who Had Been Forced to Pawn Watch. Speaking of puns at a recent ban quet, Congressman 'William A. Cullop of Indiana told of the crime committed by an esteemed citizen named Jones. Recently Jones collided with a spell of hard luck, and in order to make his pork and beans and his appetite meet he was compelled to pawn his watch. While the watch was yet in hock a friend chanced to ask him the time of day. "Why, what in the world has be come of your watch?" asked the sur prised friend, seeing Jones yank out a time-killer of the turnip brand. "HereJt is," Brniled Jones, extend ing the cheap ticker. "Anything the matter with your optical apparatus? Yes, but that's a silver watch, per sisted the friend. "The one you used to have had a handsome gold case.' I know it did," was the grlnful re joinder of Jones, "but circumstances alter cases." Philadelphia Telegraph, A Paradoxical Reform. "How did you ever get old man Rumsy to vote for prohibition?" Well, we thought the end would Justify the means. So the night be fore election we took him over into another county and let him get so in toxicated that he didn't care how he voted." "Wasn't, he angry?" "Yes. But he sayB It'll be a warn ing to him to let liquor alone after this." Ought to Fight ' I've been walking by here every day for a week expecting something to happen, but nothing has happened yet" "What did you expect to happen? "Some sort of excitement. That barber shop across the street is run by a man named Gaston Pegoud and the delicatessen store next door to it is owned by a man named Adolph Schultz." Women. "Do let me pay for it, dear." "No. I will pay for it." "But I insist." "Not another word. I'll pay for It "I can't Impose on you so." "Nonsense! I don't mind paying and you know It" "Well, for heaven's sake, go ahead and pay for tt. I haven't any money, WANTED PROOF. The Bald-Headed Barber This hair restorer, sir, Is wonderful. It makes the hair grow in 24 hours. The Skeptical Customer Rub some on your head, and I'll stop In tomorrow and if you're telling the truth I'll buy a bottle. The Thlngt They Say. The Gushing Young Thing Oh professor! you must come to our af fair tomorrow, All my friends are coming though they say they haven' a rag to wear! He I shall be delighted! London Opinion. Tried Hard. "Mary, were you entertaining a man in the kitchen last night?" "That's for him to say, mum. was doing my best with the materials I could find." Liverpool Mercury. Learned by Experience. "My husband ia so pernickety, 1 don't know what to make of him!" "I can tell you, dear. Make the best of him." Judge. A Mystery. "Luke McLuke says umbrellas will last longer If you oil the Joints." "How does that keep a person troa rtMllni tte ombrrlla?" Ill (I l( S II ilffiAK'BfRi'iHAvER- MOSE WAS A GOOD SLEEPEfi Aged Darky on Witness Stand Said He Could Remember Nothing After His Long Sleep. The lawyer got a tartar when in a recent trial in a southern city he summoned to the stand an aged dar ky who had been an eye-witness of a fight that had occurred between . a number of persons. Tell us what you know about this fight," said the counsel, when old Mose had been placed on the stand. Fight?" asked Mose, apparently greatly surprised. "What fight?" You know very well what fight 1 meant," said the counsel. "Tell us about it." I don't know nothin' about a fight," Insisted the witness. "What was it?" See here, Mose!" exclaimed the lawyer; "no trifling. The fight day before yesterday. You know all about It Tell us Oh, de fight day befo' yesterday," said Mose. "Well, suh, you see I se slept since de day befo' yesterday and I never kin rickollect anything after I'se been asleep." And that was all they, could get from him. Louisville Herald. SERIOUS POSSIBILITY. Sandy Stork What are you laugh ing at? Sam Stork I was Just thinking what a Joke on humanity it would be if we were to go on strike. A Sufficient Reason. Rudolph," said the judge, not un kindly, "here you are again charged with drunkenness. What have you to say?" "Judge," began the Teuton, "I tell you I vas painting a house in de nord side by a home where der vas French poodle dog. Den a lady comes In and says to dat poodle: 'Come here, Bismarck.' Den I" Discharged!" roared the Judge.-?- Buffalo Commercial. He May Regret It Clarence Did you wead that th deuced dyes they use to color cloth ing will no longer be obtainable be cause of the horrid wah? Reggie Deah, deah! What's a fel low to do? Dwess in black? ' Clarence If we are to dwess in black I shall feel almost sorry mothah didn't Insist upon making me a clergy man, don't you know? Cleveland "lain Dealer. Impedimenta. 'Excuse me, sir, said the strap hanger, "but would you mind moving your portmanteau from the gangway? I really can hardly find room to stand." Move my portmanteau," gasped the stranger, "those, sir, are my feet!' 'Is that so?" said Jenkins, "then perhaps you would pile them one above the other?" Western Mall. A Bad Record. Drunk I plead bein' a bit drunk, yer washup. Magistrate Prisoner known to the oolice. constable? Constable Ryan Indade he is, sor he's been here folve tolmes'for beln robbed and twoice for beln' assaulted wid wiolence. Boston Kvenlng Tran script Unintentional. Judge You are charged with break Ing a chair over your wife's head. Prisoner It was an accident, your honor. Judge What! Didn't you Intend to ait her? Prisoner Yes, but I didn't intend to break the chair. Paradoxical. "It seems to me that I have seen irou somewhere before," said the con tidence man, suavely. "It's quite likely that you've seen me before," said the detective. number of times I've been close be hind you." Too Easy. "Why did he quarrel with her? He told me he was going to beg her to marry him." "She was too willing. She wanted to get married the same day he pro posed. A 8oclal Matter. "Jonesby had a doctor with him all night" "Was he very sick?" "He was toward the last when the loctor held all the Rood hands." All He Came For. "Mr. Green has called to pay his respects to you', sir." "Disappointed irsln. I thought he'd some to pay m tr-at ten be ." ' 'VT'W J n U finaM Ate- Fundamental Principles of Healflr By ALBERT S. GRAY, M. D, (Copyright, 1914, by A. S. Graj) THE DIET QUESTION. Inquiries received prove that large numbers of persons grasp only with great difflcutly the fundamental princi ples of nutrition and do not readily discriminate between pure food and wholesome food. The demand Is foi some specific guide or chart aB to what to eat. This is not the road tc good health and happiness, but quite the contrary; because until self- knowledge and self-reliance are at talned the individual is subject to all kinds of vague and unreasoning feart and fancies and Is, therefore, continu ously in danger of exploitation by any plausible faddist, with all the attend ant dangers. Next to rice, wheat Is the most uni versally used cereal and In this coun try It leads; therefore, more than anj other plant, wheat becomes a constitu ent part of our bodies. Wheat begins to grow at 41 degree! Fahrenheit and when the aggregate temperature as represented by the sum of the dally average .equals 185 degrees the germ begins to "hatch" oi escape from the huBks if not too deep ly buried. If too deeply burled, 8 greater amount of heat Is required pro portionate to the depth, and if the seed lies at a depth lower than one fool It rarely germinates. Seedlings ceas to grow if the average temperature for the day remains below 42 degrees Fahrenheit When young plants have been subjected to an aggregate tem perature of 1896 degrees Fahrenheit from the time when sown, or of 171E degrees from the time of germination branching goes on freely and the young ears form. Under the Btlmului of an average temperature of 65 de grees Fahrenheit, or a little above, the flowers are produced. But a still higher daily average temperature If required for the full development and ripening of the grain. An average ol 75 degrees is most favorable to ma turity, with abundance of sunlight and rain. Given a matured wheat berry, what has happened is that under the vitaliz ing stimulus of sunlight the enzymes and bacteria In the soil and the plant have taken these elements, and many others not hers mentioned, oul of the soil and the air and bound them together with the kinetlo energ) of the sun into molecules of protein, carbohydrate, fat, etc., the wheat berrj serving as a reservoir of potential en ergy until a suitable machine again converts It into kinetic energy. As Burning that the wheat plant had the power to modify its environment bj eliminating from its diet in the soil one or more of the elements on whlct its growth and vitality depend, we should call It stupid and think it justl) deserving of the smut disease and thi blight that would inevitably attack 11 because of the weakness resulting from the ensuing starvation. By reason of ancestral adjustment! our digestive organs are able easilj to digest, transform and utilize this wheat energy. The wheat berry it food for us because it Is developei practically in the same scale that we are. But for some strange reason we Insist on radically changing our en vironment by eliminating from oui diet the most important and vital pari of the berry, thereby throwing oui ancestral habits out of gear and creat ing trouble. ' Blythe states that modern milling produces nine varieties of our floui and three brans from the wheat berry the original wheat showing 2.09 pel cent ash, the flour showing .65 pel cent ash, fine bran showing 0.65 pel cent ash, medium bran showing 6.8S per cent ash, coarse bran Bhowlng 8.01 per cent ash. This ash consists of: Winter Rprlni whe-at. wheut rotash 31.16 Boda 2 Lime 3 a Magnesia 1107 29 l.l 2 12. (X .El 1- t-i-rlo au!d l.-H Phosphoric acid 4J.M Fulphurlc. acid 37 Blli.-a 2.11 1.51 Chlorina 22 .0 Entire wheat flour is wholesome, but patent process flour, being un natural, is less wholesome, even though pure and more digestible by demonstration outside the body. Genuine whole wheat flour Is dim- cult to obtain, but its high value as a food is worthy of a determined effort to get It and eat it each day in one of the many palatable forms in which It may bo prepared. As bread, raisin bread, nut bread, gems, pancakes, mush with cream and sugar and fried mush, it is appetizing as well as nour ishing. It cannot ordinarily be ob tained at the markets; the flour sold as "whole wheat" is usually a combina tion of a few of the several grades of flour and bran produced by the roller process , and the germ is absent, for flour containing the germ will not keep. It Is necessary to leek out the occasional small miller, who will grind the whole wheat berry for you, or to grind It yourtelf In a small mill at home or a coffee mill will do at pinch. Had First Carrier Pigeon. The sport of pigeon-flying, now pro hibited by our war office, dates bad less than 100 years, although the Egyptians trained pigeons to Berve be messengers 4000-odd years ago, and their example was followed by the As syrians, the Chinese, the Greeks and the Romans. The first pigeon race was organized in Belgium in 1818, and two years later a bird was flown from Paris to Verviers, where its arrival was hailed by a procession with brass bands. Over here the first pigeon race was held in 1875, from Neycastle-on-Tyne to Bexhill. The sport caught on rapidly, especially in Lancashire and Yorkshire, and such long distance flights as from Manchester to San Sebastian (700 miles) have been achieved. Nowadays the English clubs train about 1,600,000 birds an nually, and "pigeon specials" of 16 or 20 vans are common on all our rail ways. London Chronicle. First Fiction Known. Are you aware that " the "Tale ol Two Brothers," written 3200 years ago by the Theban scribe Ennana, li brarian of the palace of King Merenp tah, the supposed Pharaoh of the Ex odus, is the oldest work of fiction extant? The tale was written, apparently, for the entertainment of the crown prince, who subsequently reigned as Seti II. His name appears in two, places on the -manuscript probably the only surviving autograph signa tures of an Egyptian king. This piece of antique fiction, writ ten on 19- sheets of papyrus in a bold hieratic hand, was purchased in Italy by Mme. d'Orblney, who sold It In 1857 to the authorities of the British museum, where it is now known as the d'Orblney papyrus. Tid-Bits. HERE IS A WAY TO GET RID OF PIMPLES Bathe your face for several minutes with rcslnol soap and hot water, then apply a little resinol ointment very gently. Let this stay on ten minutes, and wash off with resinol soap and more hot water, finishing with a dash of cold water to close the pores'. Do this once or twice a day, and you will be astonished to find how quickly the healing, antiseptic resinol medication soothes and cleanses the pores, re moves pimples and blackheads, and leaves the complexion clear and vel vety. All druggists sell resinol Boap and resinol ointment. Adv. Rats Save Stare Manager. Rats saved August Schmidt In court at Greensburg, Pa., when tried on the charge of embezzling goods worth $2400 from the store of P. H. Butler Monessen, of which he was the man ager, It was offered in testimony thai during the early part of the year the rodents killed 27 cats which had been purchased to exterminate them. They also destroyed a weasel which was guaranteed to rid the place of rats. Clerks In the store testified that as many as half ,a crate of eggs would be destroyed in a night, and that 17 barrels of flour had been eaten by the rats in a short time. It did not take the jury long to arrive at ac quittal. Philadelphia Record. Dr. Peery's Vermifuge "Dead Shot" kills very few hours. and expels Worms In a Adv. Named. "Who is that powerful giant who looks like a modern Samson?" asked the stranger. That is Percival Algernon Cyril Milk," replied the native. 'And who is the delicate, sisBlfied- looking chap with him?" asked the stranger. "That is John L. Sullivan Hercules Strong," replied the native. Stanford Chapparal. New Use for Word. Who can make a sentence and ubo the word 'income' correctly?" aBked the teacher of the second grade. "You may tell us, Johnny, Indica ting a little boy whose hand was wa ving violently. The kitchen door was left open and in come a rat," was the trium phant response. Harper's Magazine, YOUR OWN DRUriGIST WM I. TP.I.I. YOU Try Murine Eye Remedy or Red, Wea.lt, Walery Jtyea ana uranulateu ttyemie; No Hraal-tlng MHwaye uomiort. wt-ile tor hook, oi uie Eye y mall Tree. Murine Eye Remedy Co., Chicago. Good at Figures. Sammy was not prone to over-exer tion in the classroom; therefore his mother was both surprised and de lighted when he came home one noon with the announcement; "I got 100 this morning. 'That's lovely, Sammy!" exclaimed his proud mother, and she kissed bim tenderly. ."What was It In?" 'Fifty in reading and 60 in 'rith metlc." Philadelphia Public Ledger. Too Effective. "But how did he happen to get en gaged to the girl If he doesn't love her?" "Why, he Bald he was convincing when he merely meant to be plaus Ible. Judge. foe Roman Eye Bnlam for acaldlng aen ntinn in eyes and inflammation of cyeu or eyeuua, aav. Her Plan. "Do you read all the war news?" "Every line of It." "And can you pronounce the awful names of these plnces? "Dear me, no. Whenever any other town than London or Berlin or Paris Is mentioned 1 just skip right over the name." Detroit Free PreBB. Mayonnaise Mixer. An attachment for the crank mani pulated egg beater to drop oil slowly so the beater can be used for mixing mayonnaise Is the invention of a New York man. Not His Fault. Poet Good gracious! Here is your servant asleep. HoBtees Silly fool! He must have been eavesdropping while- you were reading your new poem to me. Pele Mele. If Boston played the Federal cham pions could the head-writers refer to It aa a bean-fed contest? mi Neuralgia There ia no need to suffer the annoying, excruciating pain of neuralgia; Sloan's Liniment laid on gently will soothe the aching head like magic. Don't delay. Try it at once. Hew What Other Say "! hare been a sufferer with Neuralgia for several years and have tried different Liniments, out Sloan's Liniment is the best Liniment for Neuralgia on earth. I have tried it sucreiefully; it has never tailed-" A U, William Auffutia, Ark. Mr. Ruth C. Claypool, Independence No,, wniei; a irienrt ol ours told us about your Liniment. We have been urine it (or 13 years and think there is nothing like it. We use it on everything, sores, cuts, burns, bruises, sore throat, headaohes and on everything else. We can't get along without it. We thiols it it the butt Liniment made." SLOAN'S LINIMENT is the best remedy for rheumatism. backache, sore throat and sprains. At all dealen, 28c. Send four cent, in stamp! for a TRIAL BOTTLE Dr. Earl S. Sloan, Inc. Dept. B. Philadelphia, Pa. I SUCCESS Depends Upon Your Training Our courses In Shorthand, Pen manship, BuRiness Training and Telegraphy will equip you for a aucueBiiful business career. FALL TERM SEPTEMBER 7. SaVVv BUSINESS COLLEGE Fourth Street, Near Morrison, Portland, Or. We Guarantee Positions for All Our Graduates. Writ 111. No Trouble to Aniwer. V i Fish Stealing His Gasoline. Leo Kelly, director general of Port age Lake, has solved one of the od dest of mysteries. Kelly operates ths motorboat ferry service. A few weeks ago Kelly observed a mysterious dis appearance of gasoline from his re serve tank in the boat. Each night a gallon or more of gasoline disap peared. Kelly searched for leaks, tested his valves and could not find the cause of the shrinkage in the supply. He began to Buspect that some one was pilfering during the night. Watching his vessel to learn the cause of the loss of gasoline he heard an odd sound under the keel, and casting his light down to the surface of the water he saw an 18-pound pick erel sucking gasoline from the escape pipe at the water line. Detroit News. Careful. Chief Clerk If I am wanted, I will be in with the manager. ' Latest Acquisition Yes, sir. An' if you are not wanted, where will yer be? Sidney Bulletin. Quick Relief When Utterly Worn Out Getting the Blood in Order Is Required By Most People. If you think yni have rnne to amanh and (It only for the dinar,!, try 8. H. H. for the blood. It will surprise you to know what can be done for health on-e the blood la released of the cxcckm of body wastes that keep It from exercising Its full measure of bodily rcnalr. If you feel ployed out, go to any rlnij store and ask for a buttle of a M. 8. Her Is a remedy that gets at work In a twink ling; It Just nmurully rushes rl;-M Into your blood, sen tiers germs r:-lit and left, up and down and sideways. You feel better at once, not from a stim ulant, not from the action of (!n:gs, bt:t from ths rutluual effect lit a natural medi cine. The Ingredient In R. f). S. serve the active purpme of so stlmulailrr; the cellular tissues of the body that they pick out from the blood their own essential nutriment ant thus repair work begins at ones. The relief Is general all over the system. Vo act nnclect to get a botl) of H5;rW. todsy. It will mnlte you feetWcr Ifc )Jt a few minutes. It Is prepared only flf"T laborstorv oi Tie Rwift Upei-lllc Co., t:iQ Swift Pldg., xtlsnta, Oa. Psnd fr-r their free book tellhit of the enay twom-me-anions t'itt smlet the ntMan' ll.iiu bf reason of iinpoverisb.-d M ini ,