Image provided by: Hood River County Library District; Hood River, OR
About The Maupin times. (Maupin, Or.) 1914-1930 | View Entire Issue (Nov. 5, 1914)
and Dairy Produce
of all kinds wanted. Writ for our
Pearson-Page Co. rZTd
TYPEWRITERS, ALL MAKES
TpWfn Larg-e assortment, Spe
irvrl&l Prices. REMINGTON
At':pW SMITH PREMIER. $15 Up.
Machines shipped on
approval and guaran
teed by Home concern.
Write for Bam plea of
work, stating make
TYPEWRITER EXCHANGE, 351 Wash. St., Portland, Or.
NEW HOTEL HOUSTON
Dave Houston, Prop. H. B. Thoranes, Mgr.
Thoroughly modern. 101 Rooms of comfort. Mod
erate Prices. Three minutes' walk from Union
Depot. Write for rates. 72 H. Scud St, PORTLAND, OR.
COMB to MONTANA. Good climate, good times,
Sood crops. Have good ranch for sale cheap. Ad
ress John G. Rower, Augusta. Mont
If we hod your address we could tell you how to
make money. Write today. Right away. The
Dingman Company, 604 Panama Building, Port
The cocktail was Invented by Mrs.
Elizabeth Flanagan, widow of an Irish
soldier who (ell in the service of the
American army during the revolution.
After her husband's death Mrs. Flan
agan became an army sutler, follow
ing a troop of Virginia horse under
Colonel Burr. In the winter of 1779
she took up quarters with the troop
In a place called Four Corners, on
the road between Tarrytown and
White Plains, N. Y. near the demesne
of John D. Rockefeller. There Mrs.
Flanagan set up a hotel which soon
became the rendezvous of the "swells"
of that day. One day the hostess
surprised her guests by announcing a
new drink the cocktail supposed to
have been named after the blending of
colors In the tail of a game cock
Philadelphia Public Ledger.
"Why is there such a hot fight over
the appointment of a postmaster in
this town? asked the stranger. "The
office doesn't pay anything much, does
"That ain't It, mister," replied the
native. "You see, most of us are par
ticular as to who reads our postal
A Better Term.
"Not much of a town."
"Well, a trifle faBter than that. Sup
pose we say one-cylinder." Puck.
How She Was Helped During
Change of Life by Lydia E.
Philadelphia, Pa. "I am just52yeara
of age and during Change of Life I suf-
I fered for six years
terribly. I tried sev
eral doctors but none
seemed to give me
any relief. Every
I month the peinswere
intense in both sides,
and made me so
weak that I had to
go to bed. At last
a friend recommen
ded Lydia E. Pink
Compound to me and I tried it at once
and found much relief. After that I
had no pains at all and could do my
housework and shopping the same
as always. For years I have praised
Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound for what it has done for me,
and shall always recommend it as a wo
man s friend. You are at liberty to use
my letter in anyway. "Mrs. Thomson,
649 W. Russell St, Philadelphia, Pa,
Change of Life is one of the most
critical periods of a woman s existence.
Women everywhere should remember
that there is no other remedy known to
carry women so successfully through
this trying period as Lydia E. Pinkham's
If you want special advice
writ to Lydia E. Pinkham Med'
Icine Co. (confidential), Lynn,
Mass. Your letter will be opened,
read and answered by a woman
and held in strict confidence.
FOR OUT-OF-TOWN PEOPLE
People from all parts of
Oregon and Washing'
ton constantly visit our
urhce for dental treat
ment. Our skill is ac
knowledged, and our
:romDtness in finish'
mi work fn one day
w hen req u ired is app re-
i-iated by out-of-town
4 a patroni.
Dr. Wise La a latae-
nnth exnert. There is
"ALWAYS ONE BEST"
in every calhmT, and
Or. Wise lays claim to
A this distinction in ure-
imn. II IUT1
What we can't fruar
antee we don't do.
LOW PRICES FOR HIGH-GRADE WORK.
Good Red Rubber Plates, each 16.00
The Heat Red Robber Plate, each 7.50
22-Karat Gold or Porcelaia Crowa 8.00
WISE DENTAL CO.
RELIABLE PAINLESS DENTISTS,
Paosur-Mala 102. A 2029.
IBH Third Stmt, Failing Bldg.. Portland. Ongol
8. C Cm. Third and WaeMngteav
11- - 1 1
P. N. U. NO. 44, 1914
WHEN wrlrlmg to advsttissrs, Bhmja M
EXPLANATION BY MR. JONES
Circumstances Alter Cases. Said In
diana Citizen Who Had Been
Forced to Pawn Watch.
Speaking of puns at a recent ban
quet, Congressman 'William A. Cullop
of Indiana told of the crime committed
by an esteemed citizen named Jones.
Recently Jones collided with a spell
of hard luck, and in order to make
his pork and beans and his appetite
meet he was compelled to pawn his
watch. While the watch was yet in
hock a friend chanced to ask him the
time of day.
"Why, what in the world has be
come of your watch?" asked the sur
prised friend, seeing Jones yank out
a time-killer of the turnip brand.
"HereJt is," Brniled Jones, extend
ing the cheap ticker. "Anything the
matter with your optical apparatus?
Yes, but that's a silver watch, per
sisted the friend. "The one you used
to have had a handsome gold case.'
I know it did," was the grlnful re
joinder of Jones, "but circumstances
alter cases." Philadelphia Telegraph,
A Paradoxical Reform.
"How did you ever get old man
Rumsy to vote for prohibition?"
Well, we thought the end would
Justify the means. So the night be
fore election we took him over into
another county and let him get so in
toxicated that he didn't care how he
"Wasn't, he angry?"
"Yes. But he sayB It'll be a warn
ing to him to let liquor alone after
Ought to Fight '
I've been walking by here every
day for a week expecting something
to happen, but nothing has happened
"What did you expect to happen?
"Some sort of excitement. That
barber shop across the street is run
by a man named Gaston Pegoud and
the delicatessen store next door to it
is owned by a man named Adolph
"Do let me pay for it, dear."
"No. I will pay for it."
"But I insist."
"Not another word. I'll pay for It
"I can't Impose on you so."
"Nonsense! I don't mind paying
and you know It"
"Well, for heaven's sake, go ahead
and pay for tt. I haven't any money,
The Bald-Headed Barber This hair
restorer, sir, Is wonderful. It makes
the hair grow in 24 hours.
The Skeptical Customer Rub some
on your head, and I'll stop In tomorrow
and if you're telling the truth I'll buy
The Thlngt They Say.
The Gushing Young Thing Oh
professor! you must come to our af
fair tomorrow, All my friends are
coming though they say they haven'
a rag to wear!
He I shall be delighted! London
"Mary, were you entertaining a man
in the kitchen last night?"
"That's for him to say, mum.
was doing my best with the materials
I could find." Liverpool Mercury.
Learned by Experience.
"My husband ia so pernickety, 1
don't know what to make of him!"
"I can tell you, dear. Make the best
of him." Judge.
"Luke McLuke says umbrellas will
last longer If you oil the Joints."
"How does that keep a person troa
rtMllni tte ombrrlla?"
Ill (I l( S II ilffiAK'BfRi'iHAvER-
MOSE WAS A GOOD SLEEPEfi
Aged Darky on Witness Stand Said
He Could Remember Nothing
After His Long Sleep.
The lawyer got a tartar when in a
recent trial in a southern city he
summoned to the stand an aged dar
ky who had been an eye-witness of a
fight that had occurred between . a
number of persons.
Tell us what you know about this
fight," said the counsel, when old
Mose had been placed on the stand.
Fight?" asked Mose, apparently
greatly surprised. "What fight?"
You know very well what fight 1
meant," said the counsel. "Tell us
I don't know nothin' about a fight,"
Insisted the witness. "What was it?"
See here, Mose!" exclaimed the
lawyer; "no trifling. The fight day
before yesterday. You know all about
It Tell us
Oh, de fight day befo' yesterday,"
said Mose. "Well, suh, you see I se
slept since de day befo' yesterday
and I never kin rickollect anything
after I'se been asleep."
And that was all they, could get
from him. Louisville Herald.
Sandy Stork What are you laugh
Sam Stork I was Just thinking what
a Joke on humanity it would be if we
were to go on strike.
A Sufficient Reason.
Rudolph," said the judge, not un
kindly, "here you are again charged
with drunkenness. What have you to
"Judge," began the Teuton, "I tell
you I vas painting a house in de nord
side by a home where der vas
French poodle dog. Den a lady comes
In and says to dat poodle: 'Come here,
Bismarck.' Den I"
Discharged!" roared the Judge.-?-
He May Regret It
Clarence Did you wead that th
deuced dyes they use to color cloth
ing will no longer be obtainable be
cause of the horrid wah?
Reggie Deah, deah! What's a fel
low to do? Dwess in black? '
Clarence If we are to dwess in
black I shall feel almost sorry mothah
didn't Insist upon making me a clergy
man, don't you know? Cleveland
'Excuse me, sir, said the strap
hanger, "but would you mind moving
your portmanteau from the gangway?
I really can hardly find room to
Move my portmanteau," gasped the
stranger, "those, sir, are my feet!'
'Is that so?" said Jenkins, "then
perhaps you would pile them one
above the other?" Western Mall.
A Bad Record.
Drunk I plead bein' a bit drunk,
Magistrate Prisoner known to the
Constable Ryan Indade he is, sor
he's been here folve tolmes'for beln
robbed and twoice for beln' assaulted
wid wiolence. Boston Kvenlng Tran
Judge You are charged with break
Ing a chair over your wife's head.
Prisoner It was an accident, your
Judge What! Didn't you Intend to
Prisoner Yes, but I didn't intend to
break the chair.
"It seems to me that I have seen
irou somewhere before," said the con
tidence man, suavely.
"It's quite likely that you've seen
me before," said the detective.
number of times I've been close be
"Why did he quarrel with her? He
told me he was going to beg her to
"She was too willing. She wanted
to get married the same day he pro
A 8oclal Matter.
"Jonesby had a doctor with him all
"Was he very sick?"
"He was toward the last when the
loctor held all the Rood hands."
All He Came For.
"Mr. Green has called to pay his
respects to you', sir."
"Disappointed irsln. I thought he'd
some to pay m tr-at ten be ."
J n U finaM Ate-
By ALBERT S. GRAY, M. D,
(Copyright, 1914, by A. S. Graj)
THE DIET QUESTION.
Inquiries received prove that large
numbers of persons grasp only with
great difflcutly the fundamental princi
ples of nutrition and do not readily
discriminate between pure food and
wholesome food. The demand Is foi
some specific guide or chart aB to
what to eat. This is not the road tc
good health and happiness, but quite
the contrary; because until self-
knowledge and self-reliance are at
talned the individual is subject to all
kinds of vague and unreasoning feart
and fancies and Is, therefore, continu
ously in danger of exploitation by any
plausible faddist, with all the attend
Next to rice, wheat Is the most uni
versally used cereal and In this coun
try It leads; therefore, more than anj
other plant, wheat becomes a constitu
ent part of our bodies.
Wheat begins to grow at 41 degree!
Fahrenheit and when the aggregate
temperature as represented by the
sum of the dally average .equals 185
degrees the germ begins to "hatch" oi
escape from the huBks if not too deep
ly buried. If too deeply burled, 8
greater amount of heat Is required pro
portionate to the depth, and if the seed
lies at a depth lower than one fool
It rarely germinates. Seedlings ceas
to grow if the average temperature
for the day remains below 42 degrees
Fahrenheit When young plants have
been subjected to an aggregate tem
perature of 1896 degrees Fahrenheit
from the time when sown, or of 171E
degrees from the time of germination
branching goes on freely and the
young ears form. Under the Btlmului
of an average temperature of 65 de
grees Fahrenheit, or a little above,
the flowers are produced. But a still
higher daily average temperature If
required for the full development and
ripening of the grain. An average ol
75 degrees is most favorable to ma
turity, with abundance of sunlight and
Given a matured wheat berry, what
has happened is that under the vitaliz
ing stimulus of sunlight the enzymes
and bacteria In the soil and the
plant have taken these elements, and
many others not hers mentioned, oul
of the soil and the air and bound
them together with the kinetlo energ)
of the sun into molecules of protein,
carbohydrate, fat, etc., the wheat berrj
serving as a reservoir of potential en
ergy until a suitable machine again
converts It into kinetic energy. As
Burning that the wheat plant had the
power to modify its environment bj
eliminating from its diet in the soil
one or more of the elements on whlct
its growth and vitality depend, we
should call It stupid and think it justl)
deserving of the smut disease and thi
blight that would inevitably attack 11
because of the weakness resulting
from the ensuing starvation.
By reason of ancestral adjustment!
our digestive organs are able easilj
to digest, transform and utilize this
wheat energy. The wheat berry it
food for us because it Is developei
practically in the same scale that we
are. But for some strange reason we
Insist on radically changing our en
vironment by eliminating from oui
diet the most important and vital pari
of the berry, thereby throwing oui
ancestral habits out of gear and creat
ing trouble. '
Blythe states that modern milling
produces nine varieties of our floui
and three brans from the wheat berry
the original wheat showing 2.09 pel
cent ash, the flour showing .65 pel
cent ash, fine bran showing 0.65 pel
cent ash, medium bran showing 6.8S
per cent ash, coarse bran Bhowlng 8.01
per cent ash. This ash consists of:
Lime 3 a
1- t-i-rlo au!d l.-H
Phosphoric acid 4J.M
Fulphurlc. acid 37
Entire wheat flour is wholesome,
but patent process flour, being un
natural, is less wholesome, even
though pure and more digestible by
demonstration outside the body.
Genuine whole wheat flour Is dim-
cult to obtain, but its high value as a
food is worthy of a determined effort
to get It and eat it each day in one
of the many palatable forms in which
It may bo prepared. As bread, raisin
bread, nut bread, gems, pancakes,
mush with cream and sugar and fried
mush, it is appetizing as well as nour
ishing. It cannot ordinarily be ob
tained at the markets; the flour sold
as "whole wheat" is usually a combina
tion of a few of the several grades
of flour and bran produced by the
roller process , and the germ is absent,
for flour containing the germ will not
keep. It Is necessary to leek out the
occasional small miller, who will grind
the whole wheat berry for you, or to
grind It yourtelf In a small mill at
home or a coffee mill will do at
Had First Carrier Pigeon.
The sport of pigeon-flying, now pro
hibited by our war office, dates bad
less than 100 years, although the
Egyptians trained pigeons to Berve be
messengers 4000-odd years ago, and
their example was followed by the As
syrians, the Chinese, the Greeks and
the Romans. The first pigeon race
was organized in Belgium in 1818, and
two years later a bird was flown from
Paris to Verviers, where its arrival
was hailed by a procession with brass
bands. Over here the first pigeon
race was held in 1875, from Neycastle-on-Tyne
to Bexhill. The sport caught
on rapidly, especially in Lancashire
and Yorkshire, and such long distance
flights as from Manchester to San
Sebastian (700 miles) have been
achieved. Nowadays the English
clubs train about 1,600,000 birds an
nually, and "pigeon specials" of 16 or
20 vans are common on all our rail
ways. London Chronicle.
First Fiction Known.
Are you aware that " the "Tale ol
Two Brothers," written 3200 years
ago by the Theban scribe Ennana, li
brarian of the palace of King Merenp
tah, the supposed Pharaoh of the Ex
odus, is the oldest work of fiction
The tale was written, apparently,
for the entertainment of the crown
prince, who subsequently reigned as
Seti II. His name appears in two,
places on the -manuscript probably
the only surviving autograph signa
tures of an Egyptian king.
This piece of antique fiction, writ
ten on 19- sheets of papyrus in a bold
hieratic hand, was purchased in Italy
by Mme. d'Orblney, who sold It In
1857 to the authorities of the British
museum, where it is now known as
the d'Orblney papyrus. Tid-Bits.
HERE IS A WAY
TO GET RID OF PIMPLES
Bathe your face for several minutes
with rcslnol soap and hot water, then
apply a little resinol ointment very
gently. Let this stay on ten minutes,
and wash off with resinol soap and
more hot water, finishing with a dash
of cold water to close the pores'. Do
this once or twice a day, and you will
be astonished to find how quickly the
healing, antiseptic resinol medication
soothes and cleanses the pores, re
moves pimples and blackheads, and
leaves the complexion clear and vel
vety. All druggists sell resinol Boap
and resinol ointment. Adv.
Rats Save Stare Manager.
Rats saved August Schmidt In court
at Greensburg, Pa., when tried on the
charge of embezzling goods worth
$2400 from the store of P. H. Butler
Monessen, of which he was the man
It was offered in testimony thai
during the early part of the year the
rodents killed 27 cats which had been
purchased to exterminate them. They
also destroyed a weasel which was
guaranteed to rid the place of rats.
Clerks In the store testified that as
many as half ,a crate of eggs would
be destroyed in a night, and that 17
barrels of flour had been eaten by
the rats in a short time. It did not
take the jury long to arrive at ac
quittal. Philadelphia Record.
Dr. Peery's Vermifuge
"Dead Shot" kills
very few hours.
and expels Worms In a
"Who is that powerful giant who
looks like a modern Samson?" asked
That is Percival Algernon Cyril
Milk," replied the native.
'And who is the delicate, sisBlfied-
looking chap with him?" asked the
"That is John L. Sullivan Hercules
Strong," replied the native. Stanford
New Use for Word.
Who can make a sentence and ubo
the word 'income' correctly?" aBked
the teacher of the second grade.
"You may tell us, Johnny, Indica
ting a little boy whose hand was wa
The kitchen door was left open
and in come a rat," was the trium
phant response. Harper's Magazine,
YOUR OWN DRUriGIST WM I. TP.I.I. YOU
Try Murine Eye Remedy or Red, Wea.lt, Walery
Jtyea ana uranulateu ttyemie; No Hraal-tlng
MHwaye uomiort. wt-ile tor hook, oi uie Eye
y mall Tree. Murine Eye Remedy Co., Chicago.
Good at Figures.
Sammy was not prone to over-exer
tion in the classroom; therefore his
mother was both surprised and de
lighted when he came home one noon
with the announcement; "I got 100
'That's lovely, Sammy!" exclaimed
his proud mother, and she kissed bim
tenderly. ."What was It In?"
'Fifty in reading and 60 in 'rith
metlc." Philadelphia Public Ledger.
"But how did he happen to get en
gaged to the girl If he doesn't love
"Why, he Bald he was convincing
when he merely meant to be plaus
foe Roman Eye Bnlam for acaldlng aen
ntinn in eyes and inflammation of cyeu or
"Do you read all the war news?"
"Every line of It."
"And can you pronounce the awful
names of these plnces?
"Dear me, no. Whenever any other
town than London or Berlin or Paris
Is mentioned 1 just skip right over
the name." Detroit Free PreBB.
An attachment for the crank mani
pulated egg beater to drop oil slowly
so the beater can be used for mixing
mayonnaise Is the invention of a New
Not His Fault.
Poet Good gracious! Here is your
HoBtees Silly fool! He must have
been eavesdropping while- you were
reading your new poem to me. Pele
If Boston played the Federal cham
pions could the head-writers refer to
It aa a bean-fed contest?
There ia no need to suffer the
annoying, excruciating pain of
neuralgia; Sloan's Liniment laid
on gently will soothe the aching
head like magic. Don't delay.
Try it at once.
Hew What Other Say
"! hare been a sufferer with Neuralgia
for several years and have tried different
Liniments, out Sloan's Liniment is the
best Liniment for Neuralgia on earth.
I have tried it sucreiefully; it has never
tailed-" A U, William Auffutia, Ark.
Mr. Ruth C. Claypool, Independence
No,, wniei; a irienrt ol ours told us
about your Liniment. We have been urine
it (or 13 years and think there is nothing
like it. We use it on everything, sores,
cuts, burns, bruises, sore throat, headaohes
and on everything else. We can't get
along without it. We thiols it it the butt
is the best remedy for rheumatism.
backache, sore throat and sprains.
At all dealen, 28c.
Send four cent, in stamp! for a
Dr. Earl S. Sloan, Inc.
Dept. B. Philadelphia, Pa. I
Depends Upon Your Training
Our courses In Shorthand, Pen
manship, BuRiness Training and
Telegraphy will equip you for a
aucueBiiful business career.
FALL TERM SEPTEMBER 7.
Fourth Street, Near Morrison, Portland, Or.
We Guarantee Positions for All
Writ 111. No Trouble to Aniwer.
Fish Stealing His Gasoline.
Leo Kelly, director general of Port
age Lake, has solved one of the od
dest of mysteries. Kelly operates ths
motorboat ferry service. A few weeks
ago Kelly observed a mysterious dis
appearance of gasoline from his re
serve tank in the boat. Each night
a gallon or more of gasoline disap
Kelly searched for leaks, tested his
valves and could not find the cause
of the shrinkage in the supply. He
began to Buspect that some one was
pilfering during the night.
Watching his vessel to learn the
cause of the loss of gasoline he heard
an odd sound under the keel, and
casting his light down to the surface
of the water he saw an 18-pound pick
erel sucking gasoline from the escape
pipe at the water line. Detroit News.
Chief Clerk If I am wanted, I will
be in with the manager. '
Latest Acquisition Yes, sir. An' if
you are not wanted, where will yer
be? Sidney Bulletin.
Quick Relief When
Utterly Worn Out
Getting the Blood in Order
Is Required By Most
If you think yni have rnne to amanh and
(It only for the dinar,!, try 8. H. H. for the
blood. It will surprise you to know what
can be done for health on-e the blood la
released of the cxcckm of body wastes that
keep It from exercising Its full measure of
If you feel ployed out, go to any rlnij
store and ask for a buttle of a M. 8. Her
Is a remedy that gets at work In a twink
ling; It Just nmurully rushes rl;-M Into
your blood, sen tiers germs r:-lit and left,
up and down and sideways.
You feel better at once, not from a stim
ulant, not from the action of (!n:gs, bt:t
from ths rutluual effect lit a natural medi
cine. The Ingredient In R. f). S. serve the
active purpme of so stlmulailrr; the cellular
tissues of the body that they pick out from
the blood their own essential nutriment ant
thus repair work begins at ones. The relief
Is general all over the system.
Vo act nnclect to get a botl) of H5;rW.
todsy. It will mnlte you feetWcr Ifc )Jt
a few minutes. It Is prepared only flf"T
laborstorv oi Tie Rwift Upei-lllc Co., t:iQ
Swift Pldg., xtlsnta, Oa. Psnd fr-r their
free book tellhit of the enay twom-me-anions
t'itt smlet the ntMan' ll.iiu bf
reason of iinpoverisb.-d M ini ,