Eugene daily guard., January 20, 1908, Image 5

. ' '
THE EfttEXK DAILY CITAIID, MONDAY, JAXI AKY 20, 11)08
A
ILtLJLJL SERIOUS
fsMEACHlHG BLOOD DISORDER
fiW . , . stages Catarrh is almost intolerable, caused by thf
HARTOG SPEAKS OF
EUGENE TO AD MEN
Even
lv stltreS Catarril IS auuusi jnLuitriuuic, itiuacu uy lue
,n iu ' tue buzzing noises in the ears, the continual
O
dron!" Uut nevertheless, 1 have been broken sob: "Wmi't you give nie an
pestered with the famous follow-up order for Sis Hopkins' Joke Hook?"
letters and lit many a dear little flrej Hut the fellow who picks his man,
with them. liead them? Not on shoves a good cigar iiuo his victim's
y(Uir speetaeles. . After some fellow j mouth, so he can't talk bail;, and
. had Inveigled nie Into uuylng a dozen thou starts tolling him a few yarns
Havana Slinkndoras for a hard-earn-1 till the vi.ilm spills from luiig'hlng.
To his surprise ho found u,( ,in.,,. .i;i, ,,. i,.n..v., i :..;! ...,,i ,i,., ..ft...... i.;... .i... .
that the stranger seated himself next .."ii,,. nut rh i.onr retailor n,l t.,iiii,,. i,ii, i, ..., ,.,i,., i.iJ
iiiothcr-in-law laugh herself lo death,
ho is the fellow that carves the tur-
train.
to nun in the Pullman, and a suit- mi.,,- i hi,! .nnii on. nml uiven l
teritiK conversation commenced. Kin- to mv worst friends, his follow-up
ally the inquirer remarked that he letter made mo Just love the man.
was going to "Phi-Phl-Philadolpliia It kept reminding mo of that dollar.
iu see u-u-pcior Jones, the stutter And every two weeks 1 would set an-
speciallst. "D-Uo you know other letter and it made mv janitor
he added. "Oh. V-V-VOS" rO-'tIr.rl omnlvin,, tli u-nstoititn.tr hu-
et.ru lUa siraiiser, w-w-womierf til ket. No wonder, poor janitor died
man; s-s-son of a gun cured me!": of a brokon back.
And so each of us may think that No, I think that one good, whole
his fellow advertiser Is like Dr. Jones, filled letter will be an opening
but after all, the exchange of Ideas , wedge and it has been my custom to
between any class of men helps them j follow that up, not with urgent sp
an, inttnla In nlanse-cnnie-Wost lull wilh
Now if you want to hear my con-j catchy, novel publications, which
disease at its head, in the circulation, and v"' m.e.." i graaua"y "v'n nu tnat it tie
ti, :,: '" iou uigeu stays any longer in me country or
amoves every trace of the impurity that .s , me to come. Your President!. Rl- icicles, he ought to be placed in the
causing the trouble. Then as rich, pure , naldo M. Hall, (sounds like the name I foolish-house.
blood circulates through the body, the in- j of a Philippine leader) insisted ou! We keep putting It up to him. We
flamed membranes commence to heal, the ! heaping honors on me. Don't blame' have written him; maybe he has an
niucous discharges grow less and finally i Ire for talking. Save your eggs, and ; swered and asked more questions.
it VCTPTABLE cease, andall the disagreeable and disgusting j throw them at Hinaldo, or better yet.; which we have again answered ih a
RELY I tot. 1 ..., fPotarrli disnnnear S S 54 Vto have them for breakfast, for until we ! heart-to-heart wav. but whether he
,,this disease. It refines and purines the entire circuS3.'tion 1 ? ""re poultry-raisers on the Pa-. answers or not. we keep putting the ;
"rfmart doMSTCBtirrh. S&cial book on Catarrh andlny w' " " hRd heUi;r "'i facts before him which eventually
i -nirs the damage none Dy i-Mi. T n irpi xiti n ltn. eggs, break his heart for staying East so
bicll,dviceir. j- - - ,
La feeling . .. HifTicult breathing, etc,
Fating 'ana spn- V j frnm the catarrhal matter, .the inflammation
Loes thoro?g' , chial tubes, causing hoarseness, and often an aggravating ; cllre s
Lads to the Drou resulting in dyspepsia, loss of appetite and i him,"
9 ctnniacu is . i t i. 1 1.. i 1:
112" j nallV all the mUCOUS nieiuuiuucs Vi inc uuuy uctumc U13-
k'8 Ivstetn upset and deranged. Frequently the kidneys and
w .t ked and the constant passage oi impure oioou inrougn me
ut aKac,j'e important members, and Catarrh terminates in Con-
1(1b: . jjep.seatea Diooa aisease, ana must tx ireaiea con
jbh. Catarra i r . -. . . i treatment. S. S. S. cures
i-jooally, 'or' hiood 0f all the impure catarrhal matter and at the
V."VT." " the entire system. It goes flown and attacks the ,i(ort ,,, "
ItHI Q1UK l .. . ... J j "'-"oi
" HirunEH nr
Jlow hly Ideas are contrary to' lone while God's country is still
those of a good many of mv valued : veiirnlne for him.
j friends. And a goodv thing that they I 1 believe in pictures, I believe In
are. It Is difference' of opinion that 'short, spicy paragraphs. I do not bo
i makes the jab-Jest jingle, Woe tolieve In long-winded descriptions. I
posterity If our think-tanks nil thunkido not believe In booklets that are as
alike. We'd all be in love with the I dry as a California summer. Let your
E U 0 E N E
Racket Store
LOCAL AGENTS FOR
PICTORIAL
; REVIEW PATTERNS ,
Pictorial Review Patterns are the only patterns
provided with a cutting guide and an instruction
guide furnished with all new patterns. Ever pur
chaser of the new Pictorial Review Patterns receives
a cutting guide, and no other patterns are provided
uih these guides.
Subscriptions taken for Pictorial Re
view Magazine, $1.00 per year.
A free pattern with eacK sub
scription. !
same woman, and wouldn't there be
a scrap? Wouldn't there be a-whole
lot of people walking slow behind
the carriage ,of some of us?
Well, my Ideas as to promotion ad
vertising are that advertising does
not make the baby dress. Advertis
ing in promotion-work is a means to
an end. Advertising that you have
the best climate, the grandest coun
try, the most wonderful soil, such ad-
vertlsing in among hundreds of alm-
TT I llltr ari'a tt Irtv nnHnn (o email
value. It confuses the reader. If yon
are one of a hundred communities
which have the only "best soil on
earth," why should "anxious reader"
select you and neglect the other 99. If
Van Tooter's Cocoa is advertised
more than all other cocoas combined,
you are apt to drink it. But If each
and every house In town bears a sign
of some other cocoa as the best, why
should you select Van Tooter's '
While such advertising of a. com
munity is not all wasted, and is
bound to bring you your pro rata
share of the total results, I believe
that the better way is to utilize the
space not to advertise your special
advantages, or tell the whole story,
hut to attract the eye and secure the
names of possible settlers.
After you thusly secure the names.
It is up to the commercial body to
go after the inquirer to draw him out,
then draw him on, and finally draw
him in. To answer his inquiry and
putting all other letters aside for the
moment, answering his with your
a
pictures tell the tale. One of the
sweetest songs Is the "Lieder ohne
Worte,". the song without words. One
of the sweetest stories Is the picture
of Bride and Groom entitled "Alone
at last." We are just issuing a pic
ture of three panels; posed by a
young man who recently arrived from
Illinois. In the first he is seen in
furs and boots, shoveling snow. This
key.
Ditto with promotion work. You
have space to sell. Space on Ood's
green earth, nnd on the very host
part of it and you ought to get on
good terms with your man if you
expect to sell him his allotted 88 cu
bic feet of Pacific ('oast ozone.
Now, I spoke of conceit. Of every
man thinking that his method Is,
(like the Chicago and Alton advertis
ers) The only way." But for the
sake of argument I am willing to ad
mit that my own method Is awful.
That all the other methods of long
winded booklets, of dry statistics, of
overstating, of tiresome follow-up let
ters, of the won't-you-come-lnto my
parlor order, that all those methods
aro better. But how about results?
Why, I mny btushlngly admit that
since I came to Oregon I have dis
covered that my preachments about
California have so impressed my cor
respondents that they Invariably tell
me now, that they are ruining to the
Pacific coast, but that as I convinced
them that California was paradise,
thev are going to California. And
thus is vlrtuo Its own reward! Or
punishment?
Well, like the burglar In Milton
Noble's famous play of the Phoenix,
where "the vllllnn still pursues her,"
the burglar etiters tlio parlor and
',--1.1 .1.- txtnlra ..r.
lUOKlllg lOl UIO BtUtt, in- in iv.-i "i"
a handsome volume, roads the title,
"Paradise Lost" out loud and putting
it under his 'arm, adds with a wink,
"I have found It."
And so I have to tell my converts.
that though I lost Paradise when 1
AX APPKI l.INO
I'.UKAKrVST
Is what is most importaiu and
most dit't'irult to provide. 0r
buckwheat IIimii', cereals and
other groceries will help you
make the meal a'l that it
should he, I'ome and lot us
supply you with the things that
thmpt other women's husbands
to eat in tho morning. Give
yours the same treatment and
find how much readier he will
pay for that new hat or dress.
Try our genuine sorgham.
WM ORFFN THE square
. 1T1. OKILILPI, DEAL GROCER
619 Willamette St. Phone Main 25.
reads: "My last Christmas In Illinois, I e(t California, 1 found It on coming
uctcmuci jvt, i.-i -. -. tun act-- in n UeaillllUl UrOKOIl. 1 lie tuuiiuj
ond one shows him all dressed up
stepping Into a sleeper; it Is mark
ed: "Ke off for Oregon." (1 apolo
gize for grammar) and, the third one
taken in January, 1908, showing him
In Eugene In front of a fan-leaf palm
tree, roses in his lapel and several
braachel with., ripe strawberries in
his hand, nothing on hrf" mind hut
a smile; this one entitled "My first
New Year's In Oregon, January 190S,
roses and raspberries."
Now when my friend, I. M. Snow-
one cannot help hut love. The land
of hospitality and progress. A part
of the glorious Pacific coast, differ
ing In some ways from California,
but fully as lovable nnd fascinating.
And speaking of Paradise, if you
have ever seen and peeled and
munched our Oregon apples, apples
that retail in the East for three, to
five times what your best oranges re
tail for (and that's a fact) you will
then forgive our forefather Adam for
bringing sin unto you nnd me. for If
bound in Canada, or Mr. Chil Blaine the annle that Eve tendered him that
in Minnesota, gets that, he goes in ovc (or any other eve I was anything
his hayloft and kicks himself. Now, I like our Oregon npplos (and history
which is better, to make him kick
himself, as others ought to kick
him, or to write him a follow-up let
ter which he takes for a gold brick
If he reads it, or for a nuisance if he
doesn't?
Finally, there Is the way of regal
ing your patient correspondents.
What's the matter? Does a booster
hav.e to be as solemn as a preacher?
Is It right to assume that a man
comfng to God's country, where he
can become independent, where he
will not deny it I why. of course Ad
am had to fall. , So would you, and
even, perhaps, I.
And another fnmous character In
history, although he really never ex
isted, was charmed by liw apple.
You will probably recall the sto
ry. In Switzerland, where they sell
a combination of cheese and holes for
the real thing, there lived a bailiff
named Gessler. Gessler got the big
head. He placed his cap on a pole.
It seems that the pole stood for it.
whole soul, answering his every ques
tion. But truthfully. Don't lie. i can make more on 20 acres than at' That's before Paderewskl made his
Don't overstate things. To illustrate: home on 640, where he can have Poles famous. Gessler demanded
one of our Eugene men Is said to I spring weather In winter time and that all 'passersbv should bow down
have made $750 an acre last, year in ran be outdoors the greater, instead to his lid. One man, passing with
cherries. I advertise It in my liter- of the smaller, part of the year, Is It; his son. refused, but sarcastically
ature as "over $500" isn't that big; right to assume that, such a man niust ,saiig that famous Swiss ditty. " Where
enough from land that cost him 30?
(Not 30 cents, but thirty dollars.)
When my correspondent finally lands
him to one'side where Mr. Booster
fan't give him the wink and he whis-
s In his ear: Mow much did you
ike in cherries?" Mr. Cherryman,
knowing my modesty, answers:
50." That's where Mr. New
comer drops dead. And he tells the
President of your Club that the Man
ager is a chump from Chumpvllle,
Kansas. And the president says,
"Ches" and forthwith doubles the
manager's salary. See the point?
I Secondly, I confess to being a here
tic in my disbelief In follow-up let-
Eugene Racket Store I f
W. J. Baldwin; Prop. II
lor r mi r- i i
wc ythit., nugene, Uregon
1 answer that he doesn't realize that
California and Oregon, to all intents
of the Creator, aro one; equally
blessed, equally lovely. That Califor
nia exeells In some, and Oregon In
other things.
1 believe that to bo the truth.
Let's stick to the truth, and together
upbuild tho grandest country on the
face of the earth tho Pacific coast,
whether it is north or south of the,
Siskiyou mountains.
SICKS WITH II1S MINI)
Most Miraculous Are the Powers of
Prof. Grant Chesterfield
Grant Chesterfield , tho tioic'il
thought reader and palmist, who Is
going to pilot the "Flyer" from Ta
coma to Seattle blindfolded shortly,
possesses powers most marvelous. If
the statements of tho most prominent
citizens of Eugene are to be believed.
They claim that he has examined
their palms. Immediately told them
tho story of their past, diagnosed
their physical condition, described
their present state of affairs, and
then proceeded to divine for them
r. f. v v.
Glt.YXT lli:STEKI'li:i
their future. They further aver that
many predictions made by tho cnlg
be led tq believe that he is going to,id yii Knt that bat?" dossier had
his financial funeral? Why wear a the 'offender seized. The prisoner
mourning tie and black crepe ou your refusing to answer, dossier demanded
in Eugene. I make it a point to have, hats; why tell your story in sad an explanation rpm tho hoy. The boy
him meet Mr. Cherryraiser--. He gets ' tones and bone-dry statistics? What's refused to toll. Whereupon Gessler
t ie mil ler witn Doing eneerrui ami h a now famous remark. it
get his attention by putting your the kid won't tell, lot William Tell." j "in have already comu to pass. Seen
facts to him in a jolly way? Maybe But Wlllani oxrlnlmed "What tell? ! yesterday In his parlors at (142 WII-
you say that some men won't be Xt, never." And so h? was ordered ! lamette street Professor Chesterfield
jolly. Well, then they are misfit to shoot an apple from his son's head, j said: (
boosters. A booster should be an c'an you doubt that It must have been "Possibly some of the reports nre
enthusiast, not a brngger; should be n Oregon apple? lllslory fails to i exaggerated, but then you must re-
full or sunshine even in sloppy I denv It. William Toll pierced t ne ap- ineniuor mat i nave ooen endorsed oy
weather: should see the bright sldepn." It must have boon an Oregon! such authorities as the Press Club of
of the medal even if he has to look! Hollflower, or else his -ionwould hav
at the edge; should make himself, as ,een a dead one. But even a woman
well as the stuff he sends out, liked. ronld hardly aim at an Oregon apple
If he does, he makes friends. Just and miss It.
like a traveling salesman does. Ini- That makes two Instances where
aglne a book-agent going into a store, Oregon apples got a lot of free adver-
dressed up like an undertaker and
folding his hands, saying in a heart-
Using
I would love to tell you of our
greatest prirle of all. our lloynl Anne
cherries. I don't remember who lloy
nl Anne was. I remember Mary Ann
In the Colusa House and Sister Ann
who "walked like that," but. Itoyal
Anne la a stunner Tor me. Hut say,
bovs. if Anne was anything like the
l.nne county cherries named after her
she must have been a "poach." It
Chicago, practically by the University
of Ann Arbor, Amsterdam, Upsala
and St. Petersburg, and a long siring
of others. Again, ninong the noted
personages whose palms I have read
are the most distinguished of cither
'hemisphere, so 1 hardly think this re
port you have heard Is i.t' all exagger
ated." "But do you pretend to read one's
fut ure?" was asked.
"I read the palm, and the future,
lis well as the ini.it. Is written thert
In." "Ho you glv! l"g"l advice, too?"
"In eerlnlu Instances, certainly.
The same as In certain cases I diag-
MOnBHHMBHi
Jenkins, &
! Starbuck
Dealers in
REAL
ESTATE
We are new comers here
and arc in the
Real Estate
Business
To Do
Business
We have been in this busi
ness before and understand
it thoroughly. At present
we are in correspondence
with a number of Eastern
People who are ' going to
locate in this country and
if you are desirous of dis
posing of properties suchj
as City, Pasture and Farm
Lands, call on us. We
are pirsonaliy acquainted
with a number of these
correspondents and know
they are comtng west. If
you want to SELL, list
your property with us for
there is going to b; "things
doing" in real estate that
is Listed with us.
Jenkins & Starbuck
, Rooms 1 7 and 1 8
THEATRE BLOCK
space
makes vour mouth water to think of nose ones condition and advise ac
t moan the cherries, not of the j cordlngly how to recover lost nerve
i queen. Ad ni"ii are so busy working Vnorgy and power, and what to do t')
I
this
for,
MM 1 11 lc ""- ""ft"" - .--
I vuntntrit. for on rainv davs when there
no sun. he mav nt least expect to! dally?
2itZ.flnd something new. I "Oh, that'B hard to say.
To show you how work, pursued , ramento I rend 2U00 In several
with 'zeal, will roll up like a snow-1 weeks. Now come up another time
;hmll, I may mention that we started ' and I'll give yon a reading.
health In the fu
don't run nfter queens. jture. Homo Bat" conuln business
They nre always lying I moan ly-! changes they should make; others
Ing awake, to think up something 1 have marriages, divorces, lawsuits
new. Yet spine ancient philosopher ( In store for them; still others have
discovered that there was "nothing mining Interests or geographical
i new under the sun," and that Is changes to undergo, and so It runs
, where the Oregon booster has the ad- j on.'
'How ninny palms do you rend
In Hao-
In Eugene, Lane county, on Pecemher
1st, 1907, with one stenographer.
Inside of a week we kept two busy
from morning until night, and now
we have four machines going,, grind
ing out Lane county's praise to an
anxious, frost-bitten world.
Ilefore closing I would like to cnll
attention to the fact that honest work
I suffers a great d"al from any hulls.
(T.'t'l, IIOI IU M U t imil.-m .
tlslng. I have soon circulars adver-
FREE
4lNul
Then the wonder-worker, who kept
New York, Boston, Copenhagen and
other cosmopolitan cities In a flurry,
called "next!" and vanished Into his
consultation room. J21
JKRSblV III 1,1, 1 lilt SI'.UVICK
The grand, Imported, royal bred,
registered St. Lambert, bull, No. R'J.
lu.'I. A rare chance to breed to suca
an animal as this. Ancestor with
Using Irrigation where there was i hutier rounds I I to aft pound per
we-.k. .V I lumphi'cy, South Willam
ette street, Eugene. Phone ldd
4 ST 1 . v JL'7
lion" r rult laud unit women I rinse
I'liythlng but fleas, garden of Eden
ollmn'o which w-as far from Id'-al.
Why shouldn't this nssnrlnt I'm g i lif
ter such advertises? Why not turn
tile si'iirrhllght on the few carol"
writers among the groat, overwhelm
ing preponderance of coiisclentloas
ones?
And then there I that left-handed,
would-be-lnnncent sjap at other sec
lions. I recall one advertisement In
a magazine which wound up wlrh
the line; "No Irrlgntliin, no mala
ria." To the Eastern man this ni'nnl
as much as that malaria and Irriga
tion were Siamese twins.
I think we ran sing our own prais
es without such Insinuations. If a
man writes ma, "How can you advise
mo to" come to Oregon after telling
me that California was the best ever,"
The Theatre Cafe is now serving a
dish of delicious fresh shrimp with
every order of oysters. Come and
oat oysters. tf
CASTCHIA
For Infants rud Chnren,
The Kind Yon ' w Always Bough,
9.ynr of C.
I Oil Paintings j
5 We have a limited number of
PAINTINGS which we ire lelling
$ at cost lor a lew davF, prices Irom
2 50c to $10 00
Latest deigns in l-KAME MOULD-
INGb See our window
OVERTON
Wall Paper and Paint Co.
l'.Vi.
Hold hr W. I,
A POSITIVE CURL
For Inflammation or OnUrrb
of tli HlMdttar and Dimmk1
Kltlncjs. No van no p,
(hii-M rjftloiilr mnd pwratAn
ntlr til ( llllllrlll MlMt
uf Ilia t'rlnsry Urgmmn. Ah
aolnuiy hirmlMM. Hold bf
droKftrta. !'rtc 11 .UL of b
mmW. pftpal), II.U), or Ihrva
boiM i 76. A:.lrM,
IKS SANTAL'PEPfttN C0H
lU.I.LKr ONTAIMU, fc
IK IjANO, IruKftlt.
Madame Dean'':
rntNCH n,i (i
Its-
rcMAic
A UA
Ml V
APR, CrsTAl!!
roa hi'iTRiwMr.D
Mn-Trii,'Ti"K. mtEK 111011 TO Fill.
HMf.-l Hun-t Hjjfdy! HntlRfiu'llon (llmi.
nt'1 or Mom-y lWucdtil. Hcnt pro
j.nM fnrtl.in pi-rbiix. V.'tllaenil ltum
en trtnl, te 1 pulil fur when r!llf rl.
Pnmpli't Kr.-.. hiwl-l on Kfltlnir tha
viiuino, n-rpt let ulmtltiilM. Ifyour
ilriiKirlKt ( nut bavu tbem Mod Tour
J orders to tliu
j UIITED VECICll CO,, 1st M, Utcimc, ft.
wrmixTrwwriiBwwsiiiiaifRBK.if
-o.d in tucem fry w. i. OrLanj