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About The Eugene weekly guard. (Eugene, Or.) 1899-1904 | View Entire Issue (July 12, 1902)
fjTTL^ ARMS HORSE KILLS TIGER l\ FIGHT OS A CIRCES TRAIN. so L'1* neck *t dead of night ’■’’‘tiae unexpected *>““d darlfaa airrugi»*. /«“«■ “*«“ poW.‘‘r . fhsr y<”tr mother calms? V T'L’W how strong you are. t*'7” Little arms? Corralled b> Rauchuirn iu Artioua aud Ruthleaaly Klauuhtrred. who«« tender touch r”’ fronl to ’*"• l*^,ther's k-ve you turn, *’ W . her to dry each tear. TZS'“ r >h«‘ •“* wUI e‘‘ide’ «cure from .11 «l«rm. vjU si DudU ‘ b»« t0 her- *■’“ Little arm«. _ >• ••'■- -ÄÄ» (■•■■- e.r the Father up above “è' ‘ too from the sin which harms. PM.mg /•« eloea, eloae to bun. v Little «rm*. Parerle/ Malaiin^________ II IICTÎ1 1 ■H .......... ***; Taurus Disposes ^ h ||TT....... RS. JOSHUA RIGGS Is a tall, spare New-Eglauder of the old school, with the gray Just frost- ber temples Mrs. Vau Norden, ,t*ut and Jovial, is a dear, motherly little b«Jy* uh0 make* ,lp ln g,xxl buuior wbat she lacks In brilliancy. Butb «re confirmed match-makers, lu «bleb profession they are leadiug i;zbt» N|ue out of teu *{ the >ounK lights. tuples of their acquaintance, who bsve been married within the last five rrtrs, they claim as their own. They iduilt but oue real defeat, aud that tbtj lay solely to the perversity of fate. It «as lu tbe Pecu,lar ta,e oi joe Sotuers and Blanche Felton that fate au<l these two guardian angels de creed differently. Tbe match, as It originated in their buay minds, was made one June after noon ou Mrs. Vau Norden's (torch. Mrs. Riggs Lad brought her knitting, aud tlie rockers creaked merrily. i "When I married Josbuay Riggs." Mid the tall one. "I knew Just wbat I 1 was about. 1 wa'n’t so foolish us to put up with uo shiftless man. 1 bad my eyes open. Now, it's all lu gettiu’ a man of compatible temperament. A lively girl alu't uo more suited to a alow goiu' parson than a flea to a snail, an' vlcey verity. 1 got a man that was suitable for me. “Now, there's that Joe Somers, Just come here to »(teud three months, you I know. His mother married one of the Jones boys down to the crick, an’ they've always bad a sort of liking for this country. Now the first minute I art eyes on Joe Somers, I says, 'There'» the man for Fay Alden.’ He's ■ big. good-natured, Jolly young man. you cau see It in bis face, aud you know what Fay Is. Seem’s so they | must take to each other.” "Dear me!" said Mrs. Van Norden, smiling placidly. "Who kuows but wbat they may make a match of it right this summer? 1 says, who knows?" "You know an' I know, S'phla Van Xorden, that what young folks needs nowadays Is assistance. And the soon er we get at it the better.” But things went wrong from the first. Somehow young Somers persist ed In showing a liking for other girls, ind Fay persisted lu retaining heart- whole conqiosure. The weeks wore by, and Souiers displayed an alarming ten dency to stray from the prescribed path. "It's got to be done for 'em,” decided Mrs. Klggs. Mrs. Van Norden agreed. And so there was a picnic party at Perkins' grove, Mrs. Riggs and Mrs. Van Norden lielng the chaperous and matron saints. Fay Alden and Joe Souiers were there, of course. There were also Blanche Felton, a sweet, quiet little creature, and Morton Eu- gle, who stood first In his class at col lege.-another match upon which the two good ladies' had long set their hearts; also Elsie Maynard and Harry Bradley, recently engaged, with help from the usual source, and made mem bers of the party because of their in* spiring example. Lunch was In process of preparation when the trouble began. The cloth waa spread on a grassy knoll by the lake shore, and baskets were being emptied. Then some one must go to the spring. Miss Maynard and Brad ley were delegated. Then Fay Alden must needs arlve with a swishing of skirts an hasten after them. They'li never get back If I don't,” »be said. "P'raps you'd better go 'long, too,” Mid Mrs. Riggs, Innocently, looking at Somers “We four can set the table.” "I ll go." volunteered Engle, with un usual alacrity and straightway went. Here was a pretty state of affairs, to be sure. Well, the best must tie made of It Operations could be suspended until the Jacks and Jills returned with their pall of water. "Dear me!" said Mrs. Van Norden. 'I wish I had a sideboard. I hate to put these things on the ground. These •fits are an abomination! I suppose I ought to be used to this picnic blzness by this time, but I've never got quite »■vnctle*! to settln' on my feet at din- h*1- What's that?” That was the somewhat violent In «rsm.nt in the hands of fate, who »»trr* 1 upon the stage at this Juncture •ud turned things topsy-turvy. 'That,” t »»« beacon Perkins' bull, riayfully w ' «me. charging down on the picnic Pun? like an overgrown kitten on a ’ 1 of yarn, shaking bls head and bel- «•wing joyously. At the first alarm Somers seized the *mure Blanche In his strong arms - ran with her down to the boat, beh was drawn up on the beach. —J*1? w*’ bat one boat- Placing her varefnF -- *illy in the center, he pushed off. •»'I «OOI n they were floating till on iu»* the p*«' pla- --- Z »»«rs«r •1 «’lrf.c« of the |lke far ont of ««rni« ^Not so fwo matronly persons. Wk > were «omewbat slower In getting off Mrs Riggs grasped a basket in hand and a napkin In the other. «od ■'Imwed them. As for Mrs Van ». — ""-ui ns rv r'r,len. «be 'ticr-e«Hlod In I rescuing a * ‘ spy •r? banana »• Together they rushed '/_ <1nwn dnwa “ ,b* hank In pursuit of tbe **'»l' !>« pair. — ------ The boat was pushed “Yvorv they res 1^,1 |tf and )n ftejr WILD BEASTS IN A POCKET. The first case on record of a horse killing a wild, murderous, bloodthirsty tiger occurred recently on a circus traiu en route from Goshen to Poughkeepsie, N. Y. The beast was kicked and trampled to death by a heavy draft horse, and when the car was opened at the end of the journey evidences of a tierce struggle were found. 1 he tiger, which had been recently imported and was still w ild and untamed, escaped from its wagon deu while the train was in motion, and after crawling over the tops of four wagons entered the car ahead, which contained thirty draft horses. A tierce battle ensued, the terrified horses plunging and kicking st the savage Intruder. When the train reached Poughkeepsie the tiger was found dead under the hoofs of oue of the horses. When the tiger iu some mysterious manner got out of its cage several circus hands were aaleep under the wagon. The beast paid uo attention to them, but evidently made directly for the ear iu which the horses were confined. It crawled through a small opening in the end, an I when its presence became know n to the horses a scene of wild confusion occurred. The terrified horses in their efforts to get away from tile wild beast crowded toward the end of the ear, leaving a space through which the tiger dropped to the floor. The horses were packed closely together, and from the deep gashes on their backs It appears that the tiger climbed over them until he reached the middle of the car, where he attacked a magnificent horse named 1' bv. Then eusued a terrific struggle. Using its hoofs with powerful force the horse dealt the tiger blow after blow, repulsing every attack of rhe stealthy cat and fighting such a re lentiess battle that the tiger finally sank down to the floor, and the rest w:^ easy for the infuriated horse. Toby jumped upon tile beast and trampled its body until not a whole bone was left. Even the skin was rendered useless for decorative purposes. All of the wookwork of the interior of the ear w as smashed and the side walls and top were covered with blood. The horse, Toby, was badly injured, its flesh being deeply lacerated in several places. terror the ladies follows It Into the water, shrieking loudly, and stopping only when tbe water begau to ripple merrily about their waists, aud rapid progress became difficult. “Come back! Come back!” yelled Mrs. Riggs. Somers looked around In dismay. “I can't,” he said. “The oars are up there.” The two ladies looked toward the shore. There were the oars lying peace fully on the bank, while tbe bull was enjoying himself immensely with the lunch. One basket was over his left horn. Another was In a near-by tree. Tbe tablecloth was wrapped about his fore feet and evidently annoyed him, for he was treading ou tbe dishes lu a most undignified manner. "He'll go away by and by." shouted Somers, to the discomfited lady. They were fast drifting off toward the mid dle of the little bay. Mrs. Riggs turn ed away from them in despair. “Look at that evil brute,” she ex-, clalmd. “Shouldn't think Deacon Per kins would keep such an unmannerly beast. There goes my blue platter! Oughtn't to have brought It, anyway. An' all that current jell bein' ground lnt8 the dirt!” Mrs Van Norden could only look pit eously at her companion, dabbling her Angers In the water absent-mindedly. Taurus had become weary of his sport and had stretched himself out on Mrs. Riggs' dinner table. “S’phla.” said Mrs Riggs, "we've got provisions, anyway. Let's eat.” She opened her basket nnd examined Its contents. There were some spoous, three glasses of jelly, a bag of dough nuts and a Jar of pickles. Suddenly She exclaimed, “Well, I never!" Mrs. Vau Norden followed her glance out toward the boat. It was slowly drifting around a woody point and would soon be lost to view. Somers and Blanche were seated on one thwart, he with his arm about her waist, and she with her head upon bis shoulder. Then he bent his face to hers, and the two good old ladies turn ed awpy astounded. “S'phia. did you see that?” "Dear me!” exclaimed Mrs. Van Nor den. "Now, ain't this 1 pretty turn?” con tinued Mrs. Riggs "I don't care so much for the dishes an' things. But to think that th«m two. who are uo more suite« for each other than a rab bit and a turtle, should be rankin' love! Right under our eyea. too. an' we can t raise a hand to prevent It. How the water does »oak up. don't It? You'll have to come home with me, and we 11 heat some soapstones and make some sage tea. There's no knowln’ bow far they'll go. now. And maybe that dear little Fay Alden will be unhappy for life on account of It. Well, it's her own fault. We done what we could," she concluded with a s.gh. Help cam« at last. The belated qusr tet returned from tbe spring, and En gle and Bradley, after placing tbe girls at a safe distance, succeeded in driving tbe Intruder away from tbe acene of bls triumph. Mrs Riggs and Mr». Van Norden saddled slowly to land. When Romers and Blan'-tie came back, after tbelr boat bad drift«! «»bore at the narrows, something had happened. Anybody could »•* that. Bradley drew Joe aside and ascertain ed that congratulations were In order, and Mrs. R!<x» «0*1 Mr" v,n s”r,|*’n were forced to make the t*»t of thing« and join la the hand.hak ng "Well. Blanche.” said Mrs Biggs, “I hope you'll Lt happy But If jou alu t. I can't help It. 1 did nil 1 could. I wash my hands of It now." But Blanche looked as though she would never be unhappy. while Joe could do nothing but watch her and smile with Joy.—Farm and Home. "BUSINESS IS BUSINESS." Mr. l'arvo Explains to His Wife tlie Significance of Strikes. "Reginald,’’ said Mrs. l’arvo, glancing up from the evening paper, "do you be lieve iu calling strikes?" "Certainly 1 do," replied Mr. l’arvo. “most assuredly, If they are called In an Impartial and unbiased manner, but 1 tell you it's mighty aggravating to have three men on liases ill the ninth inning, two men out, with one run nee ' essary to win, aud then have some i blooming one-eyed astlgmatized umpire In sympathy with the visiting team cad the batter cut on strikes when he hasn't even—” "Why, Reginald l’arvo, "what are you talking .out?” “What do you think I am talking about?" growled Mr. l’arvo. “Griddlecakes.” replied Mrs. Parvo; "they're the only thing I know of that require a batter. Why, I can't follow you at all, Reginald. 1 always sup posed that It was the labor unious that called strikes. 1 never even heard of a one-eyed umpire before. What does he have to do with it?” "With what?” "With the carpenter's strike.” "Oh, the devil! I thought you were reading the baseball column, but ' 'J stick to what 1 said Just the same. I'm for strikes that are Impartial and unbiased.” "Reggie, dear!” "Yes. love” “Is the carpenter»' «trike that kind of a strike?” "I'm waiting to ace which aide wlna before I commit myself.” whispered Mr. l’arvo. "so as not to Interfere with my business.” "Y’ou're Just as shrewd aa you can be, Reggie.” "Well. I know a thing or two. 1 guess,” said Mr. l’arvo. proudly, dra —- Ing in two full breaths at once.—Hart- foru Times. Ixmg Distance Healing. There has been completed st Dres den, Germany, one of the largest long distance heating plants In Europe. This Is us«*! on many public buildings <>n tlia left bank of the River Elbe. Including the theater, museum, castle, royal kitchen, the custom bouse, etc. The greatest distance from the central sta tion over which the beat 1» transmitted I la three-quarters of » mile. The total ( heat consumption |>er hour is 5J3Dt*,<ajU beat units. The usual steam pressure ' Is two atmospheres. Ton of a total of i fourteen !>ollera are used nnd to guard ; against accidents two main lines of j pll>ra have lx*n provided. It Is state«l that tbe loss of ln transmission Is from 4 to I*r «*nt- Tbe largest ! pipes have a diameter of eight and one half Inches. The pipes are protected I bv two layers of tin. the Inner lay»r : being perforated and the outer oue cov er«**l with silk. For several mouth» past the moun tain Ildus, bears aud wolves that alK'und lu some part« of Artxoua have beeu playing »ad havoc with the stock on the ranch of Colin Campbell In Co chise county. With lo.iasi cattle vu tbs range, the heavy loaaea lu calve« aud yearlings by the ravages of the wild animals have cut dowu the divideuds vf the stock compauy which owus the range. “Charley" Montgomery, famous all over Arisons as a hunter aud who was chief of scouts under Geueral Crook during the trouble with the Apaches, was engaged to exteriuluate the ani mals which have beeu raiding the herd*. Montgomery engagi-d 100 men of the Pina tribe aud held a big round up of the "vartulnts." Early lu tlie morning his Indians aud a score of cowboys surrounded a dis trict five miles square In the foothills »f the Cblriealiua range and gradually closed in toward the center, with 200 dogs in the rodeo. As they reached the ceuter of the circle catamounts, black bears, coyotes and an occasional grix aly bear tried to break through the line, but were met by a shower of bullets. Dozens of animals perished tn the at tempt to escape, but 200 others were finally cornered in a I hix canyon, while redskins and cowpunchers picked them off from the rocks above. There were scores of close conflicts with the enraged and frightened brutes, and In one melee four Indians were fearfully mangled by a grizzly before their shots finally finished the bear. One of the reds, Antonio Hermo. a for mer chief of the tribe, received fatal wounds from the claws of a big fellow The Jogs closed in on the victims and dozens of them were killed liefore the slaughter was complete. The Ana! count showed nineteen dead mountain Hous, five grizzlies, two lynxes aud ever list coyotes—doubtless the biggest round-up of wild animals that has ever occurred In Arizona. THE HOLY CITY. Jeriisalcni Still Resemble« a Great For- tresMof tlie Middle Aae«. Jerusalem is literally "bullded Upon its own heap.” Below the bousea, courts nnd paved streets of the present unkempt city are the distinguishable remains of eight older cities those of Holomon. Neheinlab, Herod, lladriau Constantine. Omar, Godfrey, Hnlndin, Bulemnn, '..rite» Walter Williams from the "11 iy City” to bis paper In Co- lu'’;L!u, Mo. Jerusalem has been be sieged twenty-seven times, a record of vicissitude unparalleled In the history of the world's cities. It has been burn ed, sacked, razed to the ground. Its in habitants of every faith put to the sword, all the woes uttered by Its own propbets against it have come to pass, yet Jerusalem still resembles a great fortress of the middle ages. Heen from the Mount of Olives, its massive gray walls, its flat-roofed houses. its mosques aud churches with their con splcuous towers and minarets, present a marvelous picture. lH>autlful. sub lime, unfading, from the picture gal lery of the mind. The city Itself has narrow, dirty streets-the water sup ply for Its 70,000 people comes In a four Inch pipe—the open courts are few and small, the bouses are bundled to get her with no regard for room or cleanliness. Home houses are under ground and others on top of the high Inclosing walls. The people are fanati cal. Ignorant, selflsh. There 1s much to detract from the Ideal city, but de spite all this and more Jerusalem from the Mount of Olives Is the same In Its essential details, the same in the frame work of Its setting, the same In fa.scl natlng suggestion, as the Jerusalem c" which David sang, and over which Je sus wept. OUR BUDGET OF FUN. HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND INGS HERE AND THERE. DO- Jokes aud Jokelels that Ara Happoacd io Have Been ttrcently Bura-Buyiuu» and Doings that Are Old, Carious aud Laughable— Tbs Weeb'e Huaior. “Now here Is a show case," »aid the dealer, "that la Itound to Iteconie popu lar. It magnifies everything put iu It 1 to double Its natural size." “Can't use it In my business." re plied the prospective customer "What 1 want Is a case that will seem ugty reduce the actual size of Its contents fuly one-half." "What Is your line?” asked tlie deal er. "My »iHs’lalty Is ladles' shoes," re plied the other, with a half suppressed grin.-Chicago New». Knew Who lie Was. Spatts Who Is that gloomy looking misanthrope over yonder? Bloobumper That la Spowter. the celebrated lecturer of "Sunshine, or llow to Enjoy l.ife." Hr Knew, Teacher Now. Johnnie, in thia sen tence. "John Shoes the Horae." what doos horse stand for? Johuuie Horse Is a noun, masculine gender aud stands for J oh h Teacher Nonsense! How could that be? Johnnie So <lat John enti shoe It, of course. "Well, may is* I am, but this fellow was at least a year older." H<a amiable Hitfil*. "I'm In court," rends a sign on the lawyer's door; “At the hospital," up pears on the doctor a slate; "Ite back in an hour," say several more, while others invite one to "Hit down and wait." "Gone to the blink” la the broker's sign; "Baek scon" Is found on the Ice dealer s hook; "Out collecting" says a denier; “Hick 111 lieti" la the dentist's so says Ills book. 'Twas everywhere thus. so. with nothing to do, 1 hied me away to the base bull ground; mid there, strange to say, yet none tlie less true, each of the above In the grand stand 1 found. -Chicago News. Petter Consult on Aorist. She Tell your mother I’m so sorry I haven't been to see her lately, Imt the distance Is so great and the weath- er has been so bad 1 haven't dared Venturi*. He That's nil right. l»on t mention It. She'd be very sorry If you had. Puck. They Were. Muggins See how attentive lie Is to her. I don't believe they are husband and wife. Huggins Oh. yes, they are. She lias a husband aud lie has a wife. A lunule»! Case. Cratm tliat Hunt Kabbils. Catching rabbits with a crab la a favorite pastime of the country boys in the lands lying on the English coast. One would think a mouse trap and a bit of cheese would be a saner method, but it isn't. The way they work It Is this: A large, lively crab Is caught on tlie shore and pressed Into service. From a lighted candle hot grease Is dropped on the back of the crustacean and the candle stuck upright In th a way on the shell. As soon aa the grease hold ing the candle has hardened firmly the erab Is placed In one end of a rabbit burrow, at the other end of which there Is a net. The rabbits, seeing the strange looking creature coming to ward them sideways with a lighted caudle on Its back become terrified and bolt out to be caught In the net of tlie hunters. In due time the crab also emerges and Is caught and placed in the mouth of another burrow to »care out other rabbits This continues until the boys have bagged all the rab bits they want. If the crab proves himself lively and works hard In their behalf the hunters generally restore him to the sea after the night's sport la over. That Settled the officer. Recently a Duluth minion of the law had occasion to visit a family living In the Went End. He wanted to see the man of the house, but. he was not In, he sat down and waited iu the kitchen A young girl, apparently alioit 12 years of age. wag busying herself kneading bread. Tlie officer watched the proceeding for some t!me, when he remarked; "Don't you go to school?" "Nov I stopped school some time ago.” “I should think that a girl your age would want to get aa much education as possible before taking the respon sibility attending household duties.” "Yes. maybe.” "But why don't you go to school then?” "Well." she stammer«!, " Itecanae my husband thinks I bad better stay at home.” Tien th» officer looked out of the wln- dow and the conversation came to an No LatHnde in Ireland. Duluth Newa Tribune. end A nati il * b'*ol iaspector In Ireland Mr Bestslde la Br.ggs stili paylng aa otM-e examining a class in geog raphy and. having re-.ison to correr-t an attentlon to your slster? Eastside- anew i-r to a qn<»ti«n regarding long! Nawr tl ey're been manied tbla two tude. prore ded to ask for a definit on m< *itli »! Brooklyn Mfe. of latitude. There was a »light paw* It Is too l ad tha* when anything '■ and a young lad a ns were«!: "i’Jeaa*. str. we have no lattvde In Ireland. The a» good «• peas there la only one I known «raj of cooking theta. government won t allow us any." I She T-oved Him. Single Man Ito himself)—I am surs that darling little angel loves me. She takes me into her confidence, and tells me al! her troubles. Kame Mau isouie years laterl—Con- earn it all! From morulug til! night, and night till niornln, when I'm at home. I hear nothing but tales atxmt the servants, the butcher, the butler, the baker, the candlestick maker aud all the rest of 'em. New York Weekly. SHE WAS A PARAGON B<» Her Fellow*l*a»ecne<rs Held Until Hhe l>i»playe<i Her Coloeeal NnrrOb A group at the lloffuiau Hous» In New York was talking about itw ebeek which some peraous exhibit, when James Akins, a commercial traveler from Kansas City, related the follow* lug: "The greatest exhibition of nerve I ever witnessed was given by one of the most attractive women I have ever Similar tint Dlffereut. "Don’t be too ambiti- us at the start seen. It was on a Pullman car lietween Hl. la uia and Chicago. The wouiau was my boy." »a d th<? old doctor to the accompanied by seven children, whose youthful graduate, “You must have ages. I judge, ranged betweeu 4 aud Id patience." years. Hhe was the tuoiber of all of sule ambition," re “But that Is my | them, as we learned afterward, but it joined the young man. seemed scarcely credible that she •'What Is?" queried the old plllmaker should have such a family. Hhe must "To have patienta,” answered the have beeu under 40. and was so remark youth. ably well preserved that she did not l.und of Prouaiae. look over 33. Stylish of carriage, haud- Short I wish 1 lived in the vlcinltj «< me, and with an expression *>f wla- of the north pole. ulug sweetness, her children were un- Long Because why? 1 usually attractive, and the affection Short Because the nights are six that existed between them and tbe!r months long there, and It would be mother mis a delight to witness. i he some satisfaction to request one's cred family oceujiled two sections in the itors to call again to-morrow. sleeper. All of the other sections were | «■< upled by from one to two persons, Settina Him Right. The Victim Wow! I thought you ad mostly men. I waa with a couple of vertlsed to extract teeth without paiu? traveling men who were friends, and we tieeame very much interested In ‘he Deni 1st So I do attractive mother and her children, uj Vlelliu It Is false. Dentist- 'Hint's right. It la false we all agreed tluit she was a paragou teeth tbnt 1 extract by the painless | of a woman. "The train was not more than ten method. miles out of East HL Louis when i a ith the Tiuies. A pace i lady called the porter and whispered "Yes." said the landlord of the pic some Instruction* to him. A few uilti- turesque old tavern, "1 am going to utes later the porter liegan to make up alter my 'Accommodation for Man aud berths. It was then a little after S Beast' sign." o'clock In the evening. The porter s “In what way?" queried the tourist. operations sooa began to discommode "Why, I am going to uut up: 'Accom th* t>aasi*iigera. Reaching us, he said. modation for Mau and Automobile.'” — ” ‘Gentlemen, you w ill have to move, Chicago News. as I will have to make up this berth.' “We protested, nnd Inquired what he Looking for Lusnrlee. "Mabel, love," said young Mr. Ten- meant by making up so many berth« ■pot, by way of proposal. “let me lie at such au early hour. your bread winner for life.” “ 'The lady w ith the seven children But the girl, vvtlh her eye ou the ca holds the ticket for this lower berth, pacity of the Beef Trust, answered: and she want« It made up.' he said. "I want some one who can win me " 'Oh. all right.' I «aid 'We will »d- some beefsteak." Detroit Free I'ress. journ to the smoking room.' When we reached the smoking room we found It A Folse Alarm, Doctor (who ha« been sent tor at 2 crowded by men who had already lieen froced out of their seats by the lull a. tu.l Ma lain, pray send at once for making process. We learned from them to the clergyman, and, If you want that the lady whom we had so mm-h ad make your will, for the lawyer. Madam (horrified! Good gracious! I* mired also held the tickets for the lower berths of the section« In which they 11 so dangerous, doctor? Doctor Not a bit of It; but 1 don't bad been seated. *' *1 will luqulre alioat this,’ I sail, want to be the only one who hn« been disturbed In Ills sleep for nothing.—TId- and went back to apeak to the porter "'llow many lower berths has that Hits. lady?' I naked of the colored attendant. Curryins Reform Too Far, • “ ‘Hhe has eight,' he replied. " 'Well, you go back to her and ask her if «he Intend« to Inconvenience •rybody In the car,' I said. “The porter went back to where lady was, and explaluend to her complaint. With one of her most witching smiles I overheard her say, « she evidently Intended 1 should, al- though she did not look my way: " ‘Tell the gentleman that ray babies always go to lied before 8 o'clock, and as It Is after 8 o’clock they are going to Chorus of Hungry Boarders Hav 1 bed now.' I "I went back to the smoking roon," en't we meat to-day? concluded Mr. Akins, according to tbs Landlady No, gentlemen; I've Judn New York Times, where eight or more ed the Anti Meat League, and we're re luen were crowded together, and when solved hot to Imy meat until the pries I Imparted the result of my mission is cut in half. New York Journal. the conversation turned upon the diffi culty of Judging woman's character. W hs He? “Told the barber a joke the other day, HOW A WAHR RAT SWIMS. and lie didn't laugh." "So I said, 'See the point?' ” In Germany a close study Is being "What did he say then?" made of the manner In which various "'Next.'” Detroit Free I’reas. animals swim, and pictures have been Tlie First Case ou Record. made to show how the water rat Smythe Higgins has a queer klud of swims, both w hen he Is at hla ease ami a hired girl. when an enemy la pursuing him. While Browne llow no? he la looking for prey and Kents no Smythe Why,, she came and told danger, this wily little animal goes Mrs. Hlgglna the other day that she through the water lelaurely. but th* had broken something. Instead of say moment he sees or bears in enemy be ing that It came right apart when she picked It up Somerville Journal. A Matrimonial Rrcommendatlou, Mr. Mack If I find an eligible young man, wlmt shall I tell film nlmut Mias Amy? Miss Amy Oh, tell him I'm accompllalied and agreeable- tell you saw me running the lawn mower. A Cleansing Process. Judge You were arrested for biting a piece out of your husband's cheek You will I m * held thirty days to keep the peace and---- Prisoner Sure, your honor, O1 lost th' piece. Hetwren Friends Maude Ho you are really engaged? Clara—Yea. Maude- 1» he handsome? Clara—Yea. Maude— That's good. Is be wealthy? Clara—Yes. Maude- That'« better. "How clean nnd fresh the landscape looks to-day,” said Mrs. Hllaml to her husband. "I rend something In the paper about detectives scouring the country,” ex plained Mr inland. Pittsburg Uli roti Ivie Telegraph. Favor!!« Left nt Foot. changes his attitude aud darts away, breasting the water at a great rate. Moreover, It Is a singular fact that not oidy water rata, but all other rats and mice which live near the water, are splendid swimmers, and, thanks to their skill, are frequently enabled to escape from their enemies. It was not easy to obtain good photographs of swimming rata, but they were obtained at lasL Hlobbs What! Hhe refused you.’ Why, I thought you were tlie favorite. Bloblts Yen. but the favorite didn’t win. He ff nd the General Idea» “What la the first law of nature/" asked the teacher. "Knockin' the other fell«* down be His Weakness. Alls-rt Why, don't you recollect that fore he get« lil« coat off." answered lit girl? That a tbs girl you used to rave tle Edward. Chicago Record Herald. 1‘eatlaa Fuel. over last summer—call her a "poem" Much Kaaler. In view of the advancing price of and all that. Miss Minx There are some words coal, some experiment» with peat now Edward By Jove! so It la! I never over which I always stumble. Now. being conducted In the mechanical en could commit a "poem" to memory — for Instance, how do you pronounce gineering laboratory of the Michigan Harper's Bazar. Mephistopheles? ' University are of Interest. Professors Bink» I don't. I always mention and assistants are at work on a new Music Thrown In. peat drying process. There are mill Summer Benters You haven't any hla home address. ions of acres of peat bogs in this coun piano? * try. and the chief difficulty In utilising Columbia's Llitle stater. Owner of the Furnished House No, peat for fuel has been the coet of get but that girl next door playa all the Miss Columbia has a little sister now WIt», look« as It in* M m 4 p * be afraid. ting rid of the water. A pound of dry new rag time from morning till night. The curls are dark that hang about iter l>eiit give« out the same auiuuut of beat —Detroit Free Press. brow, ns three-quarters of a pound of hard And the Ixird baa heard a grayer (hat coal. It burn« nicely and there are no Ought to Re. «he baa made. “Did you notice Misa Sprightly's au- clinker» or atone». By the new process perb teeth? By Georgs, old man. There are hollows In her sunburned lit It Is expected tliat the coat of manufac they're gems!” turing (teat fuel will be so reduced that tle cheeks, “They ought to be. You can buy a She is ragged and her little feet are It will prove a cheap and acceptable pretty good gem for what they cost substitute for coal. About eighty per bare. But there's music In her soft ton*-» wb**n cent of the peat taken from bogs is her."- Baltimore News. she spesks. water. Under the new process the peat Head at Hie Poet. And when she smiles her little face Is will run through rollers, and one-balf “I hear Jones was found dead thia fair. .if the water will be eliminated. The morning hanging from the bead of hla peat will then be passed upon trays Oh. Ilttlr Cuba, cease to he afraid. bed." The road o’er which you've >ome la kept at a high heat, aud blasts of hot "Well, he always said he'd die at ala air will be driven through the pulp. All rough sad steep. post.” But a fair way lies before yon, little the water will thua be evaporated. The W ladom of Kt perlener. ■laid. peat will then lie pressed Into brick« Where Bowers bloom and happy foun weighing from iVe to ten pounds, «nd •‘Do you take this man for Itetter or tains leap. for worse?" asked the parson of th** of the density of bituminous coal, widow who was taking unto herself ["hose conducting the experiment» be little hand Is »a Colomula'a arm, A No. 3. A little maid looks anxiously ahead: lieve that successful results are to be “Only time <an tell,” replied the fe Let him beware who seeks to do her obtained, and application» have been male whoso wisdom was t»orn of ex- made for patent» on the machinery. barm. perlen<-e. “I can't give yon the Infor And God protect the Mader and the Jokes are plentiful on l*rnl.*groe«ae mation asked for until I have bad uim t^d. ft. E hieer, la Chi* ago Record Herald and undertakers. a few weeks.”