Image provided by: Eugene Water & Electric Board; Eugene, OR
About The Eugene weekly guard. (Eugene, Or.) 1899-1904 | View Entire Issue (May 31, 1902)
FAIRYLAND. WAS AN not travel to a star; . to easy, and not f«r— Thl. say >» rg mi|e frum town. M hour • • |a<iwn Tki b*ron«i ‘ t)tth. for gi*, ^«hcad b!**-’otus. frail and tine, v“r\ water then the wood lk“J*r'iu but only by the blood T,M 1 «0.1 bx the sudden start 1-'‘ri;rerfull »nJ thrilling heart. ‘!f th* , ,„u see it fs<* faee- .«J bowers a sunny apac. ‘T. X« tinkiing; and below Fer .”“* 1 !a„ j, full of »now. Ja!y’/ t'ricb With white and pink; “ irlf ouz-bet from brink to brink; "iXte* air resounds between u i.scure and keen, --d -tar. that dart .nd Host, *C K hot a list tire at the throat. ‘L but common »unimer flowers.* j'tesr?"nt bum that drow^d the Your XdJwP"1 “rf’ Our ”W<’k . k - ph ' 1 know no other chart, ih,. lath I- for your feet as far 4« that which lessens to ■ st*r* -Century. ________ i 1 i ► • c*»tle. not mile of stone, like the medieval structures of Enxlxad '““T? Of fr,U,t’ turret’ “ “>P of red apple, file wise the borders of the windows. The walls are constructed of large green apples the fruit being glued to a light framework of wood. The east!e wa, .wnstructed at the I an American Exposition at Buffalo, and the top .,f the turrets was tweat, feet from the fluor, while the interior was large enouch to hold a score of per- sons. Altogether nearly 10.0UQ apples alone were used in its formation and in the construction of the guns, the muzzles of which protrude from each side. H*r* I the H W ilb X*. fig be ids II. I igh i illibt wi- I 1 it; I wne- I sai*'. J >e»¡ 11 f »I al: id til he ip- -rrmt Ci;u- i Cait^ te • i” . h*Jr r n**"’ ie fl’*’ « fw ¡'M* 1er' he 7 st »- th* ■’ II * Id. nette- er*» ' I OltN'VALl.lS COBB—Corn Cobb, be was familiarly calle«! by bls NS? issoc!at«*s-waa undoubtedly a B10re ludicrous than elegant name. Katherine never knew why be should be w burdene«l. except that Cornwallis was au old family name, "aa though that «ere any reason.” she once re- Burked, indignantly, "to mark a man through life.” She remembered vividly when she had considered It the most ridiculous name in the world, but somehow to- ,laJ- ns she thought of a tall, haudsome man »lie had met on Regent atreeL In the morning, the absurd side did uot appeal to her so strongly. Before that chance meeting It had been four year» since she bad seen him in a small town in New Jersey, where, after leaving Princeton, be had laid his heart and worldly goods at her feet In the interval the Cobb exchequer had been materially increased through the death of a near relation. Cornwal lis. tall an«l ungainly In those days, smarting under Katherine’s ungracious refusal, shook the dust of bis native town from his feet and sailed to Ger- many to study. For tlie first time, In looking back over the episode, Katherine realized how disdainful had been her refusal. When pressed for a reason, she had replied with unblushing candor that she never could care for a man whose name was Corn Cobb, no matter wbat merits be possessed. But that morning, when he had al most stumbled over her in a depressing London fog. he seemed to feel nothing but the utmost pleasure in the unex pected meeting. In a delicate way he drew from her the account of her father’s death and the necessity now laid upon her of earning her own living, all of which was news to him. Her voice and pow ers of mimicry she told him were her only gifts, nnd on the advice of a friend who had lived abroad she had come to London nnd found employment in singing coon songs In the drawing- rooms of people of wealth and title. Katherine Whitney had come to Lon don six months before with eager re lief, to escape the poverty which face«! her In her own country, but though well received, she never forgot her po sition; she was hired nt so much to entertain my lady's guests, and when that was over they had no further use for her. In former days she had looked upon the Cobbs with amused tolerance at their lavish display, feeling an Inborn sense of pride that though poor, she was a Whitney, and one of her ances- tors bad signed the Declaration of In- dependence. From childhood she had hated pover- ty; it meant to her n cramped, narrow life; desires that could not be fulfilled, generosities that could not be grati fied, ami yet when a way of escape had presented Itself In the person of Cornwallis Cobb, she had decided that there could perhaps be more distasteful experiences than poverty. That night Katherine amused herself by reading tin* society news In tlie Queen. The high-sounding titles Inter- «-«ted her nnd beguile«! the time, for »he made few friends In Ixindon and found people not eager to welcome a stranger. Suddenly among the names that met her eye. she saw one that she recog- niz.«-«l it was Cornwallis Cobb. The item rend: "Mr. Cornwallis Cobb, one of America's young millionaires. Is be ing entertained by Lady Henry Clay- l-orne. nt Clayborne manor, Yorkshire. Rumor has It that a marriage has been arranged between Mr. Cobb and Lady Clayborne's eldest daughter. Lady Marian Clayborne.” Katherine could not help a regretful feeling. It was like finding a friend and then losing him suddenly. Lady Clayborne was evidently not averse to the name of Cobb, and Katherine i laughed a little to herself at her former feeling of condescension to the Cobbs. It was nearly ten days before Cobb calle«l. as he had promised. When day by day pass«*«! without any sign from him Katherine was conscious of a dis tinct sense of disappointment, and »he concluded his other social duties had mail* him forget her. But one morning there arrived a big hunch of vloleta. The maid who brought them to her was overcome by the size. Laws. Mi«s," she exclaimed, with tiellghL "they must have cost a 'cap!" That evening Cobb called, and ex plained that he had been «nmmoned to I’arls suddenly the day after he ha«l last «een her. an«l had Just come back. It was wonderful how many thing» ’hey had to talk about as they sat there •J th* shabby little back drawing room Katherine »eemed to forget, she lia l ■ “'er »l«own him so much of herself it was so natural to be talking t'» him alwut things that Interested her •lost. It was ■ fortnight later that »he was 'blazed to sing at Lady Leeland's re- ' ept.on Her bead ached, and her eyes ” - re <1.<xz|eff the blase of light» and J*«el» •udd« ulj j^uviug across the EMPEROR HIMSELF. W by a Freeborn Kentuckian Refused to I ncover Itefore Dorn 1‘edro. room Cornwallis Cobb, on whose arm leaned a tall, pretty girl. Some one nearby whispered It was Lady Marian Clayborne. For a moment her heart beat violent ly. and then Lady Leelaud moved over and motioned her to sing. It was a catchy little coon song, and when she finished It was greeted with well bred applause. Lady Marian had come so near that she could bear her remark to her companion: “Clever little thlng-qulte an air about her!” Katherine took elaborate care not to look In their direction, and did not hear his reply, but the patronizing tone of the girl's voice tilled her with indigna tlon. The evening seemed terribly long drawn out. and Katherine thought ft would never end. She found herself sitting In a corner alone Just after re freshments were served, when she heard her name mentioned by two rath er dissipated looking youths, who stood ogling her not far away. That their conversation was meant for her to hear she had not the least doubt, and her face burned. “She looks a Jolly sort,” said one. "I have half a mind to ask her out In the conservatory, Those Americans do anything." "Aw, quite so," ass<*nted the other “Go and ask her and I'll join you later.” At this moment Sig. Maronl, the little man who played the 'cello, came for ward and pompously offered his arm to conduct her to a small retreat where members of the profession were served by themselves. She rose with relief at his appear ance, when, to her surprise, Cobb sud- denly stepped forward, and with a slight bow to Maronl explained that Miss Whitney had promised hltn the honor of serving her, and before she knew what to say. Cobb was bending over her In the conservatory. “Confound the Impertinence of those Idiots!” he said angrily. “Did they frighten you?” “O, no.” replied Katherine faintly, "I had a headache, that was all"—and with energy—“! hate this sort of thing!" “You mean---- " “Y’es, 1 mean this amusing people.” she Interrupted. "Their Insults mad den me." "O. Katherine, let's run away from ft all," he began with sudden eagerness. ”1 would be so good to yon, but---- " a long pause. "But what. Wallis?" she asked soft iy- “0. my confounded name." he replied bitterly. "You know you told me once you would never marry a Corn Cobb." • "Yes,” she said, with a proud little gesture, laying her band on Ids sleeve. "I know I said It once, but that was before I cared; now"— her voice was very low—“there Is nothing in the world so sweet to me as to be M rs. Cornwallis Cobb.” BABY WAS AN ARTIST. Measenger Boy Puzzled Over Admira tion for Her Charcoal Drawing. Dockerty, the district messenger l»oy. was Just in from a dash through the rain recently, when he was hailed by his reporter friend with a request for a story. "Well, dey ain't much doin’,” said Dockerty, closing one eye meditative ly. Tossing off his rubber coat, he fixed his sharp little gray eyes on the reporter. "I’ll tell youse a yarn wot ain't wild er woolly, if youse'll tell me de name of It afterward. Dat goes, does It?” Slipping his palm under hfs legs aliove the knees anil swinging his thin little trotters vigorously. Dockerty said: •''Vp by St. Patrick's cathedral's a house will a man an' wife an’ a little girl 4 years old. Dere wuz a boy kid, but he wuz took wld splner mengeetus. Well, dfs little girl's mudder is a swell lady, an' 'er hubby Is swell, too. an' she calls him ‘Bub,’ 'cause I hears her. Mell. I wuz t' de house ou Monday wld a message, wlch fuz werry pertic- ular, Inwltin' de swell lady down t' d’ Waldorf Astoria t' set in de gallery at de Prince Henry dinner. “I wuz down In de basemen' an' dere wuz de kid, wlch has de run er de bouse. Well, de baby wuz on de floor wld a piece er charcoal au' de house dog wuz In front er de range. De baby takes a piece er pape wot comes 'round de groceries, an’ makes a lot o' black scratches on de pape. Den she comes over ter me an’ sez kinder soft like: 'Baby give oo boofer plctur’ dog gie.’ Say," said Dockerty, excitedly, "dern me If 'twasn't a purty good dog picture. Jes’ den de baby'» ninilder she conies In an' sees de baby's black hands, an’ den she looks at the char coal dog. Den she makes a dive fur me plctur, an' de baby yells, ‘No, mam ma—no. Ittle boy's doggie.' “Well, dere wuz a arbitration over dat piece o' pape. De swell lady w’is- pered ter me, an' I t'anks de baby an' goes out Into de westlbule. De lady follies me out 'n' wot yer t'lnk? She says: 'You dear boy. here's $5 fur dat piece o' pa[>er.’ 1 takes der money, o' course, an' den 1 wonders wot kinder gol' mine 1'11 run Into ilex'. Well. 1 goes t' dat same place to-day, an' de same lady takes me In de parlor wot wuz full er swell ladles, an’ hangln' on de w all, In a gold frame, wuz dat char coal terrier. All de folks wuz sayiti, 'It's Jes’ too lovely,' an’ 'How did the darlin’ ever do It?' au' t'lngs like dat.” Dockerty paused and looked at his newspaper friend, says the New York Tribune. Then he bluntly demanded: “Now. youse make good an' tell uie de right name fur goln's on like dat. Wot'» de k'rect name fur It?” Just after tbt* close of the civil war Emperor Dorn 1'edro of Brazil vl.i:ed the butted States. One of the places ha vtsited was the Mammoth Cave lu Keutucky. Un bls arrival at Cave City the uearest i»oiut ou a railroad to the rave, be «topped, wltb nis suit«-, at th.* village hotel and sent bls Interpreter to get a conveyance to take the party to the cave. The interpreter found all the publle conveyances bad already goue to the cave. The landlord told Uitu the only suitable private convey <uce In the village beJouged to Jack l’bompson. who was uot lu the habit of driving bis Kentucky horse« and his Sue can<n>y topped, three seated rig ex i»pt for his own family However, a price was named that suited Jack and the party was sooti under way to the cave. The emperor’s party consist«*«! of six persona. After a pleasant ride of six miles th-* party arrixed at a grove of maple tree», where they »topped and alighted for refreshments, of which a bouiitlful supply bad been brought. One of the l«arty filled a golden cup with tine spir it« and handed it to Dom l’eilro. L'p- th<* emperor's taking the cup the party all removed their bats—all except Jack. Dom l'edro called the attention of the Interpreter to the fact, told him to say to the driver that he was the emperor of Brazil aud that It was the custom that wheu the emperor drank all pres ent remove their hats. The message was conveyed, the interpreter adding. "You will please remove your hat." Jack, bolding his Hues In one band. straightened up and replied: ••Sir. aay to your emperor that as an act of po- litenesa 1 would remove my ha t to the most bumble peasant in bls country, but as a command I would uot remove It for no damn mau ou earth. 1 am an emperor myself." The interpreter told Dom l’edro in tils own language precisely wliat Jack had ■aid. wbereupou the emp**ror order«-«! another golden cup filled from th«* »aim* decanter and hnnded It to his kit«*rpre ter. telling him to present It to the "oth er emperor." Jack took it anil Dom l’edro said, through Ills Interpreter "This is the first time In my life that I have had the opportunity and pleas ure of drinking with an emperor. Here Is to your health and long life." During the rest of the visit, which was three days at the eave. Dom l'edro and Jack and th«* interpreter were tin* best of friends, the emperor never drinking without clinking cupa wdtli Jack. Dom l’edro i>al«l all bills. •n«l nt parting with Jack Thompson shook both bls hands, many, many times. Kansas City Star. WORID’S lARGINI CRAB. England's Resident Aristocracy. It Is curious how many members of the aristocracy and upper classes reside iu the colonies and In America, says the London Express. Lord Charles Fltzger ahi has for many years past made his home beneath the Southern Cross. He resides at Fenilea Villa, Riddell's Creek. In Victoria. The Earl of Seatleld has resided for many years In New Zea land. Sir Norman Campbell, of Aucbfn breck. resides In New Zealand, as do also Sir Kenneth Mackenzie Douglas and Sir William Forbes, at Pitsllgo. Sir Alexander Cockburn Campbell, of Gartsford. lives In western Australia, and Sir William Brown, of Colstoun, resides in New South Wales. Lord Fairfax makes his permanent home In New York, and Ix>rd Ffrencb has taken up his abode In Bulawayo, Rhodesia. The Hon. Claud Anson, who married Lady Susnn Beresford, has a ranch in Texas, as has also his brother, the Hon. Francis Anson. Hand Pillar«. Travelers In the celebrated Death Valley of California have described the wonderful contortions of the sand pil lars that small whirlwinds sometimes »end spinning across the hot plain. Even more remarkable are the "dust devils” seen by H. F. Wltherby. the English explorer, in the valley of the White Nile. Sometimes two of these whirling columns, gyrating In oppo site directions, meet, "and if they be well matched the collision stops them and a struggle ensues as to which way they sliall twist. Gradually one gains the mastery, and the two com bined t>egin to gyrate alike and then rush on together.” Some of the»« whirls will strip the clothes from an Arab's back, or twist a goat round and round like a top. New I.lne of Torpedoes. The Portsmouth (England) torpedo school has devised a line of torpedoes to prevent submarine attacks. Many a man who Is capable of giv ing good advice isn't capable of earn ing bls salt. OUT OF THE DEPTHS Th* lilns’ration is a reproduction of ■ photograph of tb» first British subma r'n» host coming to th» top of the water after its inanrtrsl trip. The boat >■ ■•atterne«! somewhat after the Holland eobmarine boat lor more than ■ year the British government has been experuaen' ng secretly with «.ibmanne era t. having tero stirred te this ««io» by the «. of the E reurh Gustav Zede. Gram .te and Norwal and our own H «dand ate No s>oe ko-wa what the Adm.ra'.ty Uss s* -nmpiisbe-1 but it is certsm Uat soon the w»r a greatest nary wdl be greatly rsenforced ny ressen »I Us ««• typ«. In the American Museum of Natural History Is a wonder of marine life in the shape of a gigantic Japanese crab, measuring twelve feet, making it the largest crustacean In the world. The specimen is a type of the spider crab, which inhabits the waters of the group of Islands forming the empire of Japan The size of the crab Is strikingly shown In comparison with the ordinary sized type shown In the center, togetb er wltli the outstretched arms of the man holding the frame. The body por tlon Is the size of a half bushel mens ure. while Its two great arms, contain Ing saw-llke teeth called “pinchers." could easily encircle the figure o7 a man. Its eight arms, or legs, resemble huge bnmboo |>oles and are extremely elastic, and If strung into one line they would reach to the top of h four story apartment building. One of the extraordinary peculiarities of this crab is the faculty of assuming a disguise by affixing pieces of seaweed and s|M>nges to the body. Far Reaching Policy. One of the New York department stores has recently opened under its own roof a seliool for Its cash girls, thus giving them a chance to obtain a fair education while earning their needed pittance. The girls have desks, black boards. laxiks. et cetera. In a well light ed room, with pleasant teachers who know their needs. They are first taught the essentials, and when suffl dently advanced In these are then aid ed to develop any Individual bent or real ability. Classes In dressmaking are formed and each girl Is carefully trained to appreciate and secure tidi ness In dress and general appearance It la said that a great majority take much Interest In their studies, and the fact that they are »o much together and have so much In common would nat urally lead to this result. Another fea tore of the plun deserving special com mendatlon Is the weekly social gather ing where attention Is paid to the study of good conversation. The girls bring newspapers and read aloud editorials and article« approved by the trachers; and they receive Instruction In good manners and the restrictions of social codes. The whole scheme would seem almost the acme of philanthropic work In that line, and shows a far reaching policy that should commend It to other ■tores. This Governor 1« a Nkywraper. Gen. T. M Buffington, the governor of the Cherokee Nation, measures U feet '1 Inches In bls stockings an l weighs 275 pounds and is not overbur dened with superfluous flesh, lie wear, a No. 8 haL No. 12 »hoe. ami drevses after the most approved bunluess fasti- His one-eighth Cherokee liloo « him the ruddy appearance ebar- aeterlstlc of the race of which be is So proud. ____ _ Horn Dlploaitff, DETECTIVE PHOTOGRAPHY. "John,” exclaimed the Indignant other half of the combination, "do you Cases In Which the Camera Has Cons» to the Aid **t Juatics. »«-<• this blond hair ou your coat just STORIES TOLD BY FUNNY MEN where one of the buttons is missing?** Photography la every year proving "Yes. my dear." meekly replied John. Its usefulness as a friend of Justlc« OF THE PRESS "Well, sir?" »be queried. In a tone and enemy of crime. A writer In Tit- that demanded an explanation. Blta describes a case of diamond theft Odd. Curiou» end Laughable l*ha»<-s "Oh, it's all right,” answered the n Calcutta, In which no evident-« of Uuuiau Nature Graphically Por* head of the bouse, as he winked at against the arrested person could be trayed by Kmlneut Word Artist» of the cat. "I put the hair where you found. A policeman familiar with the Our llwo Hay—A budget of Euu. found It for the purpose of attracting ■rtlflces of the native criminals sug your attention to the buttou which has gested that an X ray photograph be Doctor - Nothing serious. I ii-«urv beeu missing for nearly a week." I taken of the man's throat. The test you. Your wife merely lias a small revealed the hidden diamond. By a The View Masculine. ulcer on the end of her tongue. trick which Hindu Jewel thieves learn •I tell you. sir," said the sad-eyed Enpeek Nay. doctor, is that a fact? after severe practice, the fellow ba«l passenger w ith the bargain counter tie. Doctor Certainly, sir! 1 hope you • "side-swallowed" the stone. don’t think I would misrepresent the "all women are born gamblers." A little more than a year ago some "That’s right," observed the Jewelry evldeuce that smugglers lu Buenos case? Elipeek N<>. but your discovery that drummer. "I know of several who Ayres were receiving gems through the her tongue really had an end seems too played hearts to catch dlamouda." mails put the authorities on the watch. good to Is* true A t sefui Leaaois. Postal matter In transit coul«! uot (>e Mrs Pusher Thank heaven, that j legally opened, but on suspicion sixty- Hans It* HI« t'later. "Were you at Mrs DeStyle«' recep visit Is over. How rude the woman six reglsteret ■* letter» and parcels were examined by the X ray. an«l found to tion last evening?" asked the bud. as was to me! Mr. Pusher But what took you contain twenty thousand dellar»' worth they met downtown. 0 precious stone«. The dishonest traf- "No." replied the young 111*11. "blit I there? You knew---- "Janies! She was born a Valancey; 1 fle was stoppe«!, anil a larg«> sum was was nt three ball»." "Why, how delightful!" ■I m * exclaim she goes everywhere. Beside», now I •aveil to the customs revenue. | A person taking long-distance views know liow It 1» done."—Ufe. ed. "Where were they?" from «vne of the upper windows of a "At my uncle’s." replied the youth, Store of Our Nobility. | tall building In Rochester, N. Y. with a strenuous sigh. Mrs. lly Drlllem, wife of the well caught the picture of a passing mar known oil magnate, will attend the ket wagon wltb a man belilml In Bravery Handicapped. coronation, ranking as an oil Barone«« act of lifting a tub of butter from Mr. ltichasmudd, who purchased a Ioa«1 The thief got away with Count for lit» daughter last year, has booty unnoticed by the driver or demanded a front seat at the corona- one on the street, but the photograph, tlon. claiming the rank of a Count by when sufficiently eularged. identified reversed Inheritance. ’and convicted him. Hank DublMi. the iHvtato king, of A marine view takeu by a passenger York County. Pennsylvania. Is prepar on a foreign steamer In the harbor of ing for a trip to London. He expects RJo de Jsuelro lnclud«*d a small yacht. a royal l»x at the eoronatlou. Balti Two men. Grayson and Linares, bad more American. gone out In the yacht that morning. I Only Grayson returned alive. He »a d A Preliminary, “Then those pugilists are gulng to bls companion had fallen from the ma»t and been killed; but bls story was nut tight?" "Yes; they’ve reached an amicable believed, and he was tried and sen tenced a* a murderer Th«* trial had agreement." Puck. been pretty fully reported In the pa Have the Pennies. 1 pers, and one day It occurred to the "Here's a tx'gglng letter,” said Rus- photographer to apply a powerful glass Big One yer afraid to tight sell Sage to Ills stenographer, “You to bls picture. In order to discover the Scared One I ain’t afraid, but If may answer It with n refusal.” character of a »mall dark mark on the "Yes. sir." answered the key manipu sail. Under the magnifier the epot on him me mudder'H whip me fer lator. tiglitin', and If lie licks me me father’ll the sail proved to be the figure of a "You will observe." continued ths falling man. He reported bls discov whip me fer gettili' licked! financier, "that there Is a two-cent ery, and aa soon as ft had been offi Masculine View of it. stamp attached for reply; so use n cially verified Grayson was released. Mrs. Wederly What iinivossible I*ostal card In answ ering the rommuiil- A similar timely discovery was made things one sees In the newspapers! For cation.” after the vlllag«* tragedy known as inManee. here Is an account of an angry "The Cooper Murder," In Lancashire, Proof Positive, woman w-ho wept scalding tears. The Judge--According to the evi England Cooper, apprentice to Mc Wederly What'» ImpiMsible aliout deuce. Mrs. O'lloolilian. you threw a Kenna. a blacksmith, was found dead that? I on th«» floor of the latter’« «hop. ami Mrs. Wederly What's Impossible? flat Iron at your husband. Mrs. O'lloolilian -YIs. you honor; an’ ( the ____ coroner's Jury brought In a verdict Why. tin* Idea of any one's weeping awardin' I* bls face Ol hit 1dm, b'gory. of suicide. An amateur photographer »«•aiding tears! I who had been through tlie village tak Wederly Oh, that's all right. In this ing "snap shots" on th«* «lay of Cooper's case the woman was probably death, developed hl« films, «nd one of rled. them showed the smithy with a par Mrs. Wederly What would her mar tial view of the Interior through the riage have to do with her wwplng open door, revealing evldeuc« which scalding tears. I'd like to know? cans«*«! McKenna's arrest and bls linai Wederly Well, a married woman, confession of the murder. you know, seems to think It Is up to Complaints are beard a ga Inst the her to keep her husband in hot water camera as a nuisance, and undoubtedly all the tlm<*. the owners sometimes abuse their privi lege, but cases multiply In which Its Iler Ups nod Downs. ! use 1« beneficent, and even Its aecl- She Doesn't Miss Snubble gli's now* I dental work proves valuable. turn up awfully? Ill* Yes. But I understand her noes have turned several young men down Teacher William, lind the square this season. root of any numlier. William I tbouglit they found them Poing Their Best. Father Now, remember, 1 have for all lust term. Exchange. Hl MOR OF THE WEEK bidden you to go out with young Tom Rlglit In the Bolar Plexu». kins; don’t let me catch you together Ping Goff strikes me as being a re again. markably good Judge of human na "No, papa; we’ll try not to." Life. ture. Pong Sure he Is. Why, only yester Another Great Dlsi-overv. day he told me you wen* the biggest Gyer A new brand of hay fever has fool It was ever his misfortune to meet. been discovered In Kansas. Wllllns to Work. Myer No? What imide Hie discov "Lady," said Meandering Mike. "I'm ery ? Gyer A physician who wn» simulta willin' to work fur me dinner.” "You are?” neously engaged to five grass w idows. "Yeti'in. Dat dog o' yours has nip ’at'» Mistake. ped me two or three times a season reg'lar fur the last three years. I'm ready fur revenge, an’ 1 want to tuako it somet'lng dlsagri-eble, somet'lng dat'll harrow Ills feelln'a; somet'lng dat would humiliate tne forever If I was him. Lady, if you'll gimme a bar o' soap an* a pan o' water I'll wash de dog.”- Washington .Star. F«lt II. "How long wtis 1 up In thè alr?" asked thè vieti tn of a subway ex pio sion. “Oh, about a minute. Why?” "Wliat a long tinte to be away froui New York!”—Life. A Horrible Htispicion. Dog» are to lie used as river police on the Seine In I'arls. Twenty New- foundlands warranted to save the ap parently drowning, are allotted to as many gendarme«, and It Is hoped that In consequence the rate of suicide will decrease In the French capital. Giraffes In zoological gardens seem to be aware of their pecuniary value and ready to take advantage of It. Fall ing their natural diet of leaves, which they strip from the trees with their long, black prehensile tongues, they eat only the finest clover bay. Moreover, they are lazy, wasteful brutes, »pilling the hay on the floor of their paddock ■ nd rarely troubling to recover It. For this reluctance, however, their prover bial fastidiousness may be partly re sponsible. Only an occasional onion, apple or lump of sugar pleases them apart from their hay and there Is ev vii a belief that, fond as a giraffe Is whole apple, nothing will Induce eat one from which Its keeper takes a bite. Au Instance of the possibility of liv ing under a snowdrift is re<-orde<l dur ing severe storms In Euglaml. On Dec. V a large flock of sheep belonging to i cattle dealer of Garsdale were out on the open moor. The shepherds with their dogs collected the »beep and drove them to a more sheltered locality, dreading a threatening storm winch soon followed: tine sheep, however, escaped and made Its way back to the pasture, where It was overtaken by the heavy fall of snow and Imbedded In It There It reuialneil until the snow melt ed. when the shepherds were aston ished to find It alive and well. It had stayed under the snow for twenty two days. On Its release It wns found per fectly able to walk borne, ■ distance of a mile aud a half. It Is curious to note that this same animal had undergone a similar burial In November, when it was "snowed up” for ten days. Blowltt A man In North Carolina recently Imiight a farm for $'.»> and »old one walnut tree on It for $7<»». Wisewell There Is one thing al«>ut "Hello, Have you seen Mike that story I really admire. lately?" Blowltt 1 What's that? "Yes. ls’ gorra! <>l thought Ol saw WlseweU Tile tree, nt least, wasn't him a-Tons the street t’other day. and a chestnut. Chicago News. lie though t he saw me. blit when we The length the Thing. got up to one another, bedad, it was "Do you believe in the efficacy of neither of us!” prayer?" "Well. I believe that If you pray for (•ailcherie. "What a clumsy creature this new rain It'« bound to come. If you pray long enough." I’ltDadelpbla Record. executioner Is!" exclaimed T»l Au. "What's the trouble?” asked the Acconrrted For. court official. Gladys Why Is It that mlnUter» "In order to satisfy public senti ment, I ordered the decapitation of usually marry so young? Hnrvhl Ob! That's the only game two of my favorite attendants.” "The order was strictly carried of «-banc« they're allowed to play! - I’Uek. out ?" "Of course. lie wasn't content with “Duck and Ducklings." publishing the news of their exe<-u When a glacier dislodges itself and tlon lie actually cut their heads off.” «ail« away over tite Arctic Ocean, It No Nensallon Intended. — Washington Star. never travel» alone. In the wake of Among the printed and posted regula every large one floats a line of smaller A New Phase. companions. The E«klmoa call this tions of one of the New York publle "Beware, sir, bow you order me not phenomenon "the «lin k and ducklings.” ■<■ bools are these Instructions for the to see your daughter again. I belong and any one who has watilied the pro fire drill of the pupils: to the Ixrvers' Union and "Fire drill—(A) .T Bells—To the side gress of the elder duck followed by her from me will boycott her.”- walk and return, with clothing. brood will appreciate the aptitude of “(B) 4 Bella-To the yard and return, the name, strange aa It may seem, About to Htep Off. To One without clothing.” Th« Daddy -I.et me give you a bit plant« gituw and blossom upon these As a matter of fact, this performance great ice mountain« When a glacier of advice, my dear To a man the Is not as sensational as this principal's b**art of the womau he loves Is like an is at rest m‘>»» attache« itself to IL pro ambiguity might suggest, for the cloth tecting the Ire beneath IL Just as saw oil country. ing referred to Is only the outer wraps The Daughter—How <-an that be, pa? dust doe«. After a time the mo»s de and bats of the chlldren.-New York cays and forms a soil, la which the “The Interest is Intense only so long Mall and Express. as there Is a prospect of new dhtov- «ceils of Buttercup« and dandelions, brought by the wtod. take root aud eries."~Lif*- Defense <>t Mosquito«*». flourish. Those who have traveled In A defender of the mosquito »ays th* Bather F,«oXlexical- Arctic tends »ay they hav« found no ”1 wouldn't marry the t»e»t man on point yet where the poppy doe« not I great majority of mo»qulto«*s never earth." said the fair female, who bad bloom during the brief northern sum- taste either human blood or that of Peierborotsah < athe<tr«l any animal, not haviug ti e opputun- br*< ti up against a gain»* of solitaire for mer. The restoration of Peterborough i |ty They live upon vegetable Juices mine forty odd summer« Hy tliedral. which Las been In progre.s for and decomposing anhral anti vegetable U Ire Fewcea Caffae Accident«. • Hub!" growled the old bachelor, "I eighteen years, ha« cost over $4<»i. »»» see no reason why you ahould have Accident* due to the Increasing use matter, found In the I . of wire fence« have done much to it y are moat num \X bat b«« tweome of the olil fa-h.<<n permitted that remark to ew ape ,*au»«- a decline In the popularity of form a valuable ed woman W «ho u< wore a lui.g gobi «.Lain didn't ask you to make my Ufa a bur- | fox bunting in England. »caveugeia. dam” around her ue* k? O