----- an AUTUMN SONG. AS SME LOOKS TO-DAY .win the old heraldic pomp *0f Autumn on the hills; .Lariet pageant in the .wamp; *Low lyric* froin th* riU*: Asd rich attar in the air Th»« Orient morn distills. IWliiiviii Again th* tapestry of haze Of amethystine dye cincturing the horizon ways; And from the middle sky The iterant, reverberant call Of »did geese winging by. Shrub* growing In a poor soil seldom produce bright, high-colored flowers. Iron filings and scales collected about a blacksmith's anvil have a tendency to Intensify the color of many plants, Again the viol* of wind if dug Into the soil about their root*. Attuned to one soft theme— The flowering of potatoes has been Here, every burden left behiud. found by Mr. M. Mlelialet to withdraw Oh,' love would it not seem much »tareb from the tubers, and ex A near approach to paradise periment* In France have convinced To dream ami dream and dream! him that the product of the plants may .Woman's Home Companion. be improved by removing all blossom*. There has been a marked decrease lu the population of l-'rencb India of late. In five settlement», with a total of 2*3. A NATURAL SEQUENCE 1S5 inhabitants, there has Ixeu a de crease of more thau eleven thousand Illi I » 1 1 1 : I‘L1'X1'XL‘" !||| lu the last teu year*, though they have been free from famine and plague. LITTLE girl stood In front of a Beginning with the present year. rose-covered cottage pensively Spain has udopted Greenwich time lu trying to bore a bole through her the place of Madrid time, which was previously used a* the Spanish stand flappj straw hat with a small fore her stood a tow-haired ard Madrid being west of Greenwich, Huger. Opposite .. toy, perhaps a year older. the change Involteti the setting of "I’m goin’ away to-uiorrer, Blossom,” clocks 14 minutes and -iti seconds announced the boy mournfully. ahead. -Are yer?” said the girl soberly. The labor cost of scientific research -Yep. It's an awful long way—most is not easy to realize, A British ento 2oo miles, pa says.” Then, after a uiologist has just shown a series of pause: "Don't see how I'm go!n‘ to about thirty pictures Illustrating every marry yer when I'm away down lu stage In the metamorphosis of a drag on fly from the nymph to the perfect In New York.” -0. soldiers is sent everywhere,” said sect, and relates that he took over one the girl wisely, "and nurses, too. I'm thousand photographs la-fore getting goin' to be a nurse when I grow up.” bls complete set. Constant watching was necessary, as after the first lmllea -Well, I'm goin' to be a soldier, sure, tion of change the dragon fly might cause pa said 1 might, and when I'm emerge at any time within the next s major or a colonel I’m coinin' back three days, the emergence being so rap with a regiment to get yer and----- ” id that three pictures were taken lu six "There's ma callin'. It’» time to go seconds. Eddie." The shove picture is from the lste-u and one of the best photograph* of “Good-by, Blossom.” H. F. Wltherby, a recent traveler on Mrs. Grover Cleveland, who for two term* was mistress of the White House an.l There was a timid kiss and two heavy recognized a* the most beautiful woman in the national capital. This picture the White Nile, describes the sacred little hearts wended their way home shows that Mrs. Cleveland still has remarkable beauty, although she has changed bird of ancient Egypt, the Ibis, which, considerably in appearance since she was first lady of the laud She ha* grown lie says, very few travelers In that ward. *•••••• stouter and her features are fuller than her former photographs represent country ever see, because It only visits However, the change has in no way detracted from the beauty of the ex Presi Egypt during the period of inundation; It was a terrible day. The hot Cuban dent s wife. She retains the beauty which made her conspicuous during the but the dragomans, knowing the desire (un beat mercilessly down upon the years she was the leader of otfi. .al life in Washington, ami to-day she looks of all foreigners to see the famous bird, group of tan-su t <1 “Americanos" lying younger, and if anything more beautiful, than ever before. point out to them, as a substitute, the flat on their stomachs, creeping, creep buff backed heron, which Is really to ing. ever nearer and nearer the thicket where the Spanish sharpshooters lay the day I left for New York? You said no luggage but a light traveling satchel, tally unlike the Ibis, The head, neck we would be sure to meet again. 1 sup I was utterly oblivious to the appeals of und legs of the latter, all bare of feath hidden. "Easy boys,” whispered the captain; pose we ought to get married. We've the liackmen as he emerged from the era, are jet black, in sharp contrast with the pure white plumage of the “Jenkins’ company will draw their fire been engaged most fifteen years.” New York Central station. “Well, I like that,” gasped the girl. "Fee—thvanoo hotel? Fifth avatioo— body. "The wings are edged with black In a minute,” like a mourning envelope, and from “So do I,” said the man placidly; goin’ ritaway! Fifth avatioo?” With a sigh of relief the men lay flat. Mr. Dignity stalked right on without each shoulder droop green black feath The long rank grass cut their faces and "there might have been some one else the yellow sand tilled their eyes and to marry if I had not promised you a word. Another knight of the whip cry plumes. When flying toward one tlie bird seems to be streaked with charged down upon him. «dded fresh agony to their already- first.” The girl's eyes twinkled. “You said "Say, Denis! Say, Denis? This way blood, for the wing bones are bare of parched throats. Down at the end of feathers on the under side, and the skin the line a man was cursing because a you were going to come for me with a for the Say Denis!” regiment,” she suggested. No response from the traveler and which covers them is of a rich vermll- sharp stone bad bruised his leg. Ills good arm had slipped around her not a muscle moving In hl* face. Then ■ Ion color.” But their rest was only for a moment. The unusual optical phenomenon of Far In the rear they heard a hoarse now. "So I did,” he said, meditatively. there w as a rush of half a dozen. "Kerrldge, sir, kerrldge? Wanter a rainbow produced by the sun shining cheer. Then a volley of bullets flew “Well, I suppose I shall have to if you not on raindrops, but on particles of high over them, and was answered by won't come any other way.” Then, as kerrldge?” "Waldorf Astorler! Take a kerrldge B sand suspended In the air by wind, was the crack, crack of the Spanish Maus he drew the sun-tanned face close wltnesed over a part of the Great Salt down to liis own, be said: "But don't for the Waldorf!” era. Lake recently by Prof. James E. Illi you think it would be most embarras "Holland House, sir!" "Now, boys.” whispered the captain mage of the University of L'tah. Tlie "Huffmun House! Huffmtin”----- again. Over their heads the firing was sing tinder the present circumstances?” And Blossom thought It would In "Broadway Clntril! ltlght on Broad colors w ere very brilliant, and there fast and furious, but the little group was a secondary bow visible. Tlie main way! 'Ere you are, kerridge, sir?” crept on, almost to the very fringe of dianapolis Sun. bow was fully double the width of an The traveler loomed up like a ten pin the thicket. “JACK” HAVERLY IS DEAD. among vinegar cruets, and with face ordinary rainbow. Only a segment of “Now! at ’em, boys,” roared the cap It was seen. The sand was oolitic, tain. The whole command rose to their Kia I and Generous und Earned as a as placid as a pan of milk was calmly i consisting of calcareous spherules of and silently moving away from the Theatrical Manager. feet. With a wild cheer, they rushed In St. Mark's Hospital. Salt Lake crowd of hawks, who lookt-d after him fairly uniform size, ranging between forward. With hoarse oaths they threw the limits of No. 8 and No. B) shot themselves on the sallow group of City, “Jack” Ilaverly, one of the most with something like amazement, when which are polished and exhibit a pearly interesting characters of the American a sudden thought seemed to strike one : sharpshooters. There was the rapid fir luster. Prof. Talmage points out that stage, died. He bad of the knights of the whip, who ran ing of heavy revolvers, answering the production of the bow must be due been 111 for several after the portly gentleman, and, seizing shrieks of wounded men, groans and to reflection from the outer surfaces of months and heart his traveling bag. cried: "Deaf an' prayers. Out into the open air ran the the spherules, and cannot be explained dumb asylum, sir? Goin ’ right up! ’ | disease was the Im enemy, only to be shot down by Jenk on the principle of refraction and total mediate cause of This was too much. Dignity relaxed reflection, generally applied to the ex ins’ men In front. Into a cherubic smile, and the witty [ planation of the rainbow. di ath. In five minutes it was all over, and His career exem hackman had the honor and profit of the Americans were gathering together plifies the ups and driving Thomas B. Heed, ex Speaker of to count their numbers. BABY LEGALLY CHRISTENED downs of life and es the House of Representatives, to bls "That was quick work,” grunted the pecially of tlie the home. Chicago Inter Ocean. Justice of the Peace Formally Swear* lieutenant, as be wiped the powder Parents and Child, atrical business. Ac stains from his face. “Where’s Ma TO BE IN CHARGE. "There used to be some funny ones cording to his own son?” “JACK • statement lie had Mnrqul* of Cholmon Jetey Will M un it ue down by the Rio Grande,” remarked “Where’s Capt. Mason?” shouted the tlie tall, broad shouldered Texan, when been rich and poor seven times, “A King Edward’s Coronation. sergeant. It was bis turn. "Yea. there were some man ought to be ashamed to go broke King Edward has appointed George “Here he is,” answered a hoarse mighty funny ones. I remember par the seventh time, now oughtn't he? ” Henry Hugh, Marquis of Cliolmoude voice, and a burly private appeared ley. to the office of laird Great Cham ticularly no old Justice of the peace with his arm around the captain, al- he was wont to say. berlain. subject to down there, who perform«*! all sorts of Alsiut 1843 he was born at Belle most dragging him along. the decision of the offices, particularly those of a religious fonte, Ohio, and had to fight the battle The officer's face was white, and he House of Lords lu or semi religious nature. In the absence of life alone from the start. As a boy said, as he clenched his white teeth to tlie controversy as of a minister He made some awful gether: "I guess they’ve done for me, be sold newspapers, bananas and pea to who Is entitled breaks In his time; but he didn't reach nuts on trains running out of Chicago. Tom. this time.” to the office, there the height of Ids originality until tlie When IS he conceived the Idea of start "Nonsense,” said the lieutenant, being several day lie christened the newly born child roughly. “Up with him. boys; easy, ing a show and had the money to back claimants by right of a cowboy named Wilson. I'll tell easy," and as four of the privates lifted bis scheme. His first attempt was at of Inheritance. If you nliout It. minstrelsy with "Happy ” Cal Wagner him to their shoulders they retraced the House of "In these days we never worried much as the star. Success followed and Ilav- their way back through the long grass leirds coti N r mi alsiut christenings and such In Texas. to their own lines, and there, in the crly adopted the policy of securing the King E<!«aid's ap | We simply slapped a name on a kid liest talent regardless of price. His shade of the hospital tent, they tender pointment, as It is and If a minister happened along we ly laid down their burden and left him headquarters were In Chicago, but he I •«•! i •• V I it « 111 hnd him go through the regular form; owned ami controlled theaters in other to the care of the surgeon. the Marquis of If not. we let It go at that and the kid cities. At one time hl »dally Income was All night long they worked over him never knew the difference. This Wil At va CHOLMOJH>Mt.r.T. Cbolinondeley will —the doctor and a sweet-faced woman lietween »lfl.teki and son, however, was strong on religion, Important men In with a red cross on her artn. As the last riotis times his fortune was estimated be one of tlie most for as laird Great though 1 reckon be didn't know so very bandage was fastened and the doctor at half a million. At the time of bis London next year, Chamberlain be will have charge of much about It, and when his pretty lit death he was engaged In a mining en rose to go his rounds he said: "He the coronation ceremonies In Westtnln tle wife presented him with a sori he won't last till to-morrow.” The nurse terprise. but ft Is believed was pos ater Abbey, Including the invitation set about to have the child regularly said nothing, but as the tent door flap sessed of little. If any, wealth. branded by some one In authority, He made money rapidly and In addi llsL ped behind him she muttered rebel There was not a minister within ne- tion to being generous and a princely He Felt (Safe. llously: "He will last till tomorrow, gotlable distance, and so tie brought liver, was always devoted to bls wife. Mt*. Slimsou Don't you know. Wil the child, accompanied by Its mother •nd a good many more to-morrows." Early the next morning the wound Rn<l was noted for his sterling hon lie. if you are naughty you won’t go to and the Intended sponsors, to our jus heaven? ed man opened his eyes, to find a worn esty. _____________ tice of the peace ami asked him to per "Oh. I don't know. Uncle Jake was form tlie ceremony. Now, old “Bill” an bending over him. He looked up TOM REED TOOK A CARRIAGE the meanest man I ever beard of. but Kcruggins that was the justice's name weakly and would have spoken, but she Put her hand over bls mouth, and said, Intended tn Walk, but the Driver*. y,.u say he Is In heaven now.” Lin- — bad never witnessed a christening. Humor Canirht Him. quite calmly: “It's only Blossom. Many a man looks insignificant when He remembered having wt-n a book A tall, portly, dignified cltlxen arrived Tou're hurt, and I'm going to take care about the house year* before with a ids wife Is with him. of you. I told you I was going to be In New York the other day, and having form of christening In It; but where • nurse.” It was he could not renienitier. A man with less nerve would have faltered; WHAT PEOPLE OF VARIOUS NATIONS SAVE. He smiled faintly, and fell into a gen but not the Justice. tle sleep, with her hand clasped tightly “ Hats off In the presence of the In bl*. but in ths • j capital is co .acerns I the United Stites I-» Is. Two days later as the fussy little doc As far *s banking Invests J court!' be commanded. The amount at pre*« nt »o well. “All being uncovered, he said: 'I’ll ----- it tor came bls rounds he announced, matter of savings we u. do not »bow up Denmark'» »»»¡tigs work out st an average *•" y-T swear you In fust. Hold up yer right are third will in British banks _ ia *!'• l'"r capita. *~ »„ond with »39. Norwijint with a considerable degree of self-sat- *' — ----------------- “ .'"¡«“ih:’Germ.n with » 125. The ri* best nation of all. ba nds.' •"fa'-tlon: “Mason is going to live. Miss " 'Us too?' asked the s|H>nsora. CarvIlL Didn't think I could pull him fifth place -Ith wit »22. Auutriaiis are »JÖ the Uniteti States, l take« — ' sriug »I« apiece to th'-ir “ 'Of course.' said the Justice, ‘All through, but I did after all.” TIP inicsl than American«, the scale come, as might witnesses must be swore in.' The nurse smiled Inscrutably, but credit. At th* lowe»t extreme of Ruswii B0»l • P* la. with tbc "Thru, looking at them all with com ••Id nothing. miserable totals of t» cents and ÓO cen • l<-al dignity, be liegsn the strangest They were sitting just Inside the tent respectively. christening ever |>erformed; ’You an door waiting for orders to embark on 'each one of you do solemnly swear the transport. that the evidence you shaft give In this Hl» right arm was still In a sling, but ft "’M -ase. shall lie the truth, th« whole truth, **■• left hand vainly sought to rest on an* nothin' but the troth. s'elp you hers, which she promptly removed. S AviO Gawd!* '" hat are you going to do when you ••’You. John Wilson, do solemnly •re mustered out.' Blossom?" be asked swear that to the beat o' yer knowledge D ollar "I'm Miss CarvIlL now people are an' belief. this yer child Is yourn an’ »•«*• •ell again,” she otsaerved. speaking to yer wife's to hare an' ter bold for yer- o* n' ne in particular. P j • V L A 00 «•■If. yer heir*, exekytera. administra "Hut I am not well yet,” be objected. tor*. an’ assigns, for yer an' tbelr use Tow are going to be. What’* the mat- in' behoof forever? ,*r’ Aren't you glad?” she demanded *1 does.* answered the father. *’ hla face felL 'You. Mary Wll*on. believe this man • don't know; that depend».' be said. boy; to wit. John Wilson an' son. •'»nlficantly, tu I«- yer buabsml an' child; an y ti do A» the girl made no answer, be went *• remlulacently: “Do you remember & r* 5 2 Of No Consequence, Husband You are a* gloomy as an owL Sulking because I can't get you that new bouuet, 1 suppose. OAES FROM THE PENS OF VA Wife- No, I was ouly going over RIOUS HUMORISTS. » uni- old letter*, that's all. It's nothlug of importance. Ouly a tit uf the blues. "What letters?” Plrssont lucideats Uccerrinu ths “Love letters.” _ 't ‘ WorlalGver ins* that Ars I hesr- “Some you wrote?” ful to Old or Yosug Fuuuj Sslsv* "Souie 1 received.” tisus lUsl You Will Enjoy, “Oh. uifue, eh?" “No, some 1 received before I met "Why. may I ask.” said the contribu you it'» of no consequence. None tor, "do you always put my name to the at all llow Is your cold?" New York verse I write mid uever to the prose W.-ekly. "Well, you know." smiled the editor, To Avoll a strain. “we can't be respoiisibk- for your po "Feeling blue, are you, Mr. Light- etrv." Judge. wayte?" said Miss Jimplecute. sympa Llfs-syviuu I x-rlion. thetically. "You ought tu do something “Don't you pay any attention to sum to occupy your mind.” nier athletics?” "I dou't mean.” she added, after a "Oh. yes; I often run a few blocks moment, "that you ought to work very after the Iceman when lie Ims gone by hard at anything."- Somerville Journal without leaving us any Ice." Detroit loo I>11 Is Free Press. "Why did you leave the last place?” New V ersion. "There was no amusement, muui.” Mother Well. Reginald, ami what "Didn't the family have a piano?” was the minister’s text in church to "Oh. yls. but they didn't hov a piece day ? av breakable brie a brae In the house.” Reggie Ye cannot serve God mid wo Chicago News. nieu. Hliihty Colors I Replx. Halber rarllcul-ir. Howuder Say. old man, what make* your nose so red? Row uder It's blushing for all th« other uoses that go isiklng into othet pis'ple's business." I’lilladelphla Rec ord. ET L’S ALL LA UGH. I <«*. ...... . . administrators au' assigns.' “'I does,' answered th* mother sol emnly. “ 'Well. John.' said the Justice, wiping the perspiration from hla brow, ‘tbat'll be about three dollars.’ “'Ain't the child christened yet? " 'Not yet be ain’t,’ replied old Scrag gins; 'but this la la where the fee come* In ' "The money being paid over, the jus tice put It In Ills pocket and went on a* follows: 'Know all men by these pres ents that I. Wlllyum J. ScruggiBa, Jus tice of the peace of Waco. In the State of Texas, being In good health au* of sound an* disposin' mind, lu consider ation of three dollars to me In hand paid the receipt whereof la hereby ac knowledged. do. ail' by these liev de clared the child's name to lie Wlllyum J. Scrugglua Wilson, during good be havior au' till otherwise ordered by this court, which now stands ad journed.' ” DESICCATED VEGETABLES. Uriel Garden Truck Will Bs Vssd by V»cla Sam's »oldlsrs. Desiccated vegetables are coming on the market, for use especially by pro- l>ectors and hunters, who are obliged to economise eiery ounce In the weight of the provisions they carry. Necessity compels them to select such fin'd* as combine the maximum of nutriment with the mlulmum of bulk and avoir dupois. This Implies water-free sub stances. and dried fruit* and vegetables are especially adapted for the purpose. Of late the War Department has been experimenting with products of this kind; It has found them wholesome and hi all respects desirable, and is likely to use them largely In future years. White potatoes, carrots and sweet ¡nitatoes have been found particularly available for desiccation. Tbs sweet potatoes are cut up Into little cubes, while the white potatoes and carrots are sliced. When wanted for use, 'toy have to lie soaked In water before cook lug them; as sold, they are supposed to be absolutely water free. What a sav Ing hi weight and bulk they represent will be realized when It Is understood that fresh white potatoes contain Mn per cent, of water and fresh carrots 90 per cent. Experiments have proved that the drying process causes no loss of nutrl ment and that the product furnishes a most valuable addition to the food of people who are unable to get fre*ti vegetables. The desiccated white po tntoes are as rich hi muscle forming element as the best wheat flour, though consisting mainly of tlie starchy ma terlal which Is so useful as fuel for the : body machine. The same thing may be said of the carrot» and sweet pota toes; but a notable fact is Hist dried eastern vegetables are richer In starch am! poorer In muscle-forming material than those grown In California. Philosophies*. Here the man married; for be was aweary of working. "A better half Is better than no loaf nt ail!" he observed, not unpbllosoplil- calljr. As KeK-irits Age. “Her fiance? He looks old enough to know better.” “ApiH-aranee are deceptive. He Is, 111 fact, only old euough to lie her father.” The Poor Carthorse. feet long, five logs 1 foot long ami seven logs sawed and split Into small pieces Tramp Madam. 1 think you need n cabinet milker. This Is not In my line. 1l»t» Kewurl <»f l*rr«rvt r.mi e. George I understand the Gottlts hail a hard atruggle to get Into society. Jack I should any they had! Why, old Gottlt had to s|H-ml nearly four years In tlie Klondike! I’uek. Now He W oiulers Where I’e’s At. Mr. Ease«- Dr. New ley says Hint eat ing alone I* not couduelvu to long life, and I believe h<- Is right. Do you? Miss I'nsse Oil! Mr Easee. this Is so sudden. Chelsea (Masa i Gazetie. Fatron On what plan Is this meal served? Walter A In carte, air. Patron A la carte, eh? That ac counts for this Hteak. It's horst* meat, sure. Philadelphia l’reaa. Un trust wort hr, “But Jones gave you bls word, didn't he?" said Friable. "Yes," replied l'erkasle, “but I don't like to take Jones’ word. He wuu't even keep It himself.” Cut of Politic»« Inert 11 lite. Il<- This author should be ashamed of himself. A married mini, too! Ills W il.- W ..... <1.,.--. he sii : He lie says that a man's wife 'gazed at lilni III speechless iistonlslimeiit.' W by, such n thing Is unknown In matri mony! Tit Bits. A Hustler. Madge Why did ahe insist on going tu South Dakota to »¡s-ud the hom-y A Punch parodist find* garden litera ture so easy, compared with novel writ moon? Marjorie So Unit In case they fulled Ing. Unit he tries his hand to tills ef to Hgt'ee tbe month could be counted 111 feet: "Cloee by tlie greenhouse, four feet from the gooseberries, mid two with the time m-cessmy to secure a les feet-slx from the secolid-liest honey Idence when she sued for u divorce. - suckle, I have dotted In a clump of dun J Uilge. II? al I un liame Nature. dellons. Buch brave flowers, so sturdy Drummer It just bents all. I'm trav mid self-reliant! Oddly enough, they huve all turned out yellow with me. eling for nn umbrella house, mid every Why are none of them purple? Per place I've struck has been nufft-rlng haps It la the soli • • • It Is nearly from drought. Inventor I am traveling wltli a rain 12 o'clock; 'noon,' In tlie quaint old Anglo Saxon phrase. A sparrow has producing apparatus, ami every town Just hopped acroea the lettuces a I’ve struck was knee deep In mud. Drummer I say, let's travel to sweet little bird, with two eyes, two feet, mid one beak. But the early gether. New York Weekly. worm hns left some hours ago on press Wee -Ktilse’l the Uree I. Ing business. Ah, dearest reader the saddest words In the language. Too : late! Too Intel Oh, the bitterness of [ It all • • • Hut 1 must tie brave. I I must water the geraniums. (Plant out eHrly In May. In a south aspect, and I mulch freely.I Yea, 1 must water the j geraniums. So do the petty. Insistent j duties of life break In upon our moat | spiritual moods!” In a Garden. Too Literal. They seldom gave dinner parties, and what they gave were small. But they liked things dons decently mid In order, mid generally had the liest. On the aft i-rnoon of one of the little parties the i host summoned the boy In button» nnd said to him: “Now, John, you must lie very carefud how you ha ml round the wine.” “Yes, sir.” "These bottles with the black seals are the best and these with the red j seals the Inferior sherry. The liest ' ilmK U by dia-s that old cow of sherry Is for after dinner; the Inferior yours look at me ho closely when I sherry you will hand around with the pass? bock and aoup. You underatatid buck Greta She may sus|H-ct you are one mid Inferior sherry after soup?’ of her long lost children. “Yes, str, (H-rfectly,” res|*onded the A Rral Calamity. boy In buttons. The evening came, and with It the 1 The Father You have rescueil my guest». Everything went on swim dmigliler from drowning, sir. What nilngly till the Imy went round the ta shall tie your reward? Tbe Stranger Don't mention It. I'll ble asking each of the guest». "Hock ■end you a bill. 1'ui a spechillat from or Inferior »berry London Tit-Bits. New York. 1 he Troutiles of Br'er U llllam*. “Good heavens! I'm rained.”—Life. "De way» er providence,” said { A Sense of Fitness. Brother Dickey, “la past findln’ out. Lady of the House You neeiln't ask Take Br'er Williams, for Inslunce: Fer for a < up of coffee: our gas stove has six day* en dat number er nights he been turned off for hours. constant prayed fer rain, en w'en de 1 rump Coffee, madame, la out of tbe rain come hit drowded de only mule question. Have you any left-over sher h<- bad en washed hl* house sideways' | bet <>r yenterdajr** lemonade In the lee lieu be lit In fer ter pray fer dry. en j chest? Itetrolt Free Press. de *un shine so hot dat bls co’ufiel In ths Veer UtXMI wux burnt ter a frazzle, an de new I “I tell you thl» literary controversy mule what be buyed on a credit wui sunstroke«!, en what w ui lef rr hl» Is becoming fierce!” house ketched fire, en »ence de well ! “What literary controversy?" "Why, over the «¡uestloti which was done drle<l up he didn't have no water ter put It oVL Dm be got ao mail he the liest advertised novel of the twen gone off In a corner ter »wear In prl- : tieth century.” Puck. «ate, en de pr«-a<-her. comln’ dat way, ! Mhrme'pc Mstnphrslcs. bearin' 'Im »»earin' en hail 'Im up befo’ 1 Mrs Hoyl» I can rend my husban«! a »|H-«hul committee, en turned 'Ini out like a book. de ebureb! En de las' time I seen 'Im Mrs lioyle You must have good eyes be wus aettln’ In de place wbar hl* to res«! su«*h «mail type The Kmart house us« ter tie a readln' er de book of Bal Job!”—Atlanta Constitution. « hluaman'* New G««d. I a*ke«J a < hlnaman tbe other day what they would <lo now, as the Mols were getting ao scarce. Wbat would they worship? “Mi-ilian dollars.” lie replied, witbout a moment's hesitation; "and.” lie added. “It's genuine worship, 1 toe, mister.” North t hins lieraid. "A h ' so you'» gone outer pollytlcs, erby?” "Dat's me. Dusty. When de price of a free born patriot's wote gits down to half a dollar It's time fur decent men to git ill outer lie wet.” A Voilrl < Hive Bov. "First of all," »nld the merchant to the youthful applicant, “we'll have to test your ability as a whistler. Sup pose you try.” "Fm sorry, sir,” snld the boy, "but I can’t whistle at all.” “Hang up your lint," cried the mer chant. promptly, “you're the boy we'rs looking for.” Philadelphia Frees. Proof Conclusive, "Lhla's new pictures flatter her like everything.” "Why, I thought you hudn't seen t belli?" "1 haven't; but she told me she had ordered four doz< n.”- Philadelphia Bulletin. Widening the Breach. "I wish you ami May would become friends again,” said the would be lH*a<*emaker. "Well," said Fay, "If she'll make up, I will." “I told her you hail said that, and sh<* said: 'The Idea! It's easy for her. I never saw her when she wasn’t made up.' ” I 'll I la »!•■! ph la I’n-ss. The Kight Man. First Polltli'lnn Well, they're going to nominate Mr. Miller. Has he a dean rvrard ? ttecvml Politician Clean as a whistle. Never was known tu refuse a cash of fer-Life. Would Carrs Conviction. 1‘rlsoner Wouldu't It tie better to let un- tell my own story? Don't you think It would be l>»-lleved? I-awyer That's Just the trouble. It would carry conviction. Philadelphia Record. Could Htanil the I smm «. A mooeyed man of Detroit waa aur- prlse«l to receive a <*all from a rather s«**«ly i<siklng chap an entire stranger — the other day. Having satisfied the guards Hint lie was not a Issik agent, lie was allowed to enter ami state hla buaiuena. which he had insisted. In or der tu gnln admittance, waa Import ant "Well, air?” said the wealthy man, ex|w<-tant)y, aa the worthy steppe«l In. "Why,” was the unabashed reply, "I'd like you to Indorse this note for me.” The man of money examined the note «rlth ally. as he oliaerved: “Why do you come tu me? I don't know you from Adam. W hy don't you go to some one you know?” "Well." was the cool reply. “I came to you lieeause I knew you <*ould stand His Admission. the loss better than anyone else I kuow “1 bear that you are engaged, Gol<l of.” thorp." said Hterllngwortb. “la It time The millionaire Indorse«! tbe note, for congratulations?” after a«» urlng tbe name uf tbe n«*rve "Well, I won't a«'knowledge that,” tonic bls < slier Is using Itetrolt Free replte«! tbe happy young man, "but I'm l’reaa. alsiut to coufer upou a certain young A deaf ami dumb man la apt to talk lady th« right to select luy neckties fur straight out from the shoulder. mw’’