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About The Eugene weekly guard. (Eugene, Or.) 1899-1904 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 26, 1901)
The Mam Thing. «1 bear you have been selected to Oliver the validctory at your com- -.«ncenient. B \, - "replied the fair gradu.it. t and it's j»»‘ Trying n . k . ’t know what style to adopt. ’* ,iv. there's only one style t Itdictory address. I should—” ...(illy Tin speaking oi my gown.” phiisdlphia Press. i. morr Catarrh In th« iwtlon of the then wit other dieuu put l-e.-thet, until the l*»t I«» >ear’ >O| ) o-. d t be Klrable- »<»' » D1*n’r \"*r’ •’pro- n a I«'»' 6ise««e, sn<l j r«'»erl)>. d l..c»i ev a"11 ' F con t»ntlv Utlli g to cure i.u»l ireatuient, pronoun, e I it G k ursble. Z. nve b»s proven catarrh to be a«ou»t:tti- i-.e-e. andlher.f re r, « <• .•nt. Hill's Calairh l ure, t 'iirt-l I-V F. J. Cheney A Co . T - .1 .<•). . nly C’ n-t tutionnl cur -o t the in.rket. S i. taken inivrnally in‘I ooh from 10 dr | ato "¿„I..«.nful. It sc'»i dir«tly oa the f'.tm ,„ua rarface» of ths a>>tem. rbev Ser hundred dollar- lor any <•».. t fail» to 0' ' -_.nJ for circular- and l« «tlnionial». Ad- 1 11 tjc. ksE Y a co- T°ld*o. o. by lyruirKiat-*, gall’» family Pill’ sre tbe beat. W'hv They Gushed. “But his letters are so gushing,” they protested to the fair young thing who was corresponding with a senti mental youth. “I know they are,” she said, "bub you must remember that he writes with a fountain pen.”—Baltimore American. Not a Vl«le«t Purge. The day of the cannon-ball pill is past Swee% fragrant, mi 1*1. but effective Ca*cartls Candy Cathartic takes their place. Ail druggists, Uv. 15c. 50c._________________ In a Nutshell. "How did you like the finale to my first act?” inquired the playwright. “ I didn’t see it,” replied the first- nighter. » » “Ah! Got there too late, eh? went away too soon.” She Loved Botany. She said she loved botany. They re wandering through horticul- tural hall. "And where do they keep the elec tric plants?” she asked. He was too shocked to reply.—Phil adelphia Times. B rooklyn , N. Y., Oct. 14.—The value of Garfield T< a, the herb cure, is sug gested by these facts: it is a specific for all diseases of the liver, kidneys, stom ach and bowels ; it purifies the blood and lava the foundation for health. A Hard Problem. First Scientist—This is a puzzling case, indeed. Second Scientist—I should say so. Why this would puzzle an amateur »cientist. — Baltimore American. An Ethical Sidelight. Harris—If you knew he was lying, why didn't you tell him so? Buck—What would have lieen the use? He knew he was lying fast enough, and he would not have felt ao pleasant toward me if I had let him know I knew it, too.—Boston Tran- script. Sure to be arrested!—Anv ache or pain — by Hamlin ’s ft Hamlin's famous Wizard Oil. Your druggist sells it. Between Friends. Edith—Ferdy and I have l>een en gaged for a month, and nobody sus pected it. Ethel—No, everybody thought from his looks he’d been playing the races. A Real One. “Whtw! exclaimed the first pigeon, "wasn’t that sparrow mad when I »wiped that grain of corn from him?” “I should say,” replied the other. “Talk almut your ‘small hot bird’.” —Philadelphia Press. Mothers will find Mrs. Winslow’s Sooth ing Syrup tlie best remedy to use for tbeir children during the teething period. Goggles or Nothing. ‘No, doctor; I won't wear plain spectacles. If I’m compelled to wear glasses, I'll try goggles. ” “But, my dear sir, there is nothing fashionable in goggles.” “Oh, yes?; people will think 1 run an automobile.’’—Philadelphia Press. Plenty of That Askit—So you think there was glory enough to go around at Santi- ago’ Tellit—Yes; and there was loss of memory enough to go all the way around Cuba and back again. — Balti more American. JOHN POOLE, Portland, Oregon, foot ot Morrison StrsM. Can give yon Bnggiea. Plow». n’mill» and Machinery. See the best bargain, in Boilers and Engine», Pitrnn- tnl General us before buying. Summer Resolutions Keeley Cure «V fevre relief hom liquor, opium tn 1 to jbGJJ hablK bend for particular« to Neliy lutltiti, BESTFORTHE BOWELS haven t a rv<ular. beaitby moven • ” everyday y-u re BlcM ' •»* &** K «»pen and De well- r’*in ' ' p ™»ent pbytir or pill poivrx k dar 1 * raale«t m<»»t pern- t <ay uf bet’k- 'i to® e;a e.ear aod ciaaa is to baae CANDY CATHARTIC WORN BY PASSING COINS. Aa Object l.ewon Offered by Ticket- Wlodoa Uadgea. ' Talk about tuouey burning boles In People's pockets.” remarked au ob : servant strauger the other «lay. "but here is a case of uiekels burning holes In wood.” lie poiuted to the front of -............... the ticket seller's window on oue of the L stations as he spoke. The wood Bound to Sell. work was scooped out several Inches ofm1rlbr“"’OUldn’‘ Hke a bottle deep where the Intruded passenger oi our hair restorer’ usually shoves In bls fare, and tbe cav . thank you. I «.re ity was twice as wide as it was deep. fer to remain lwld-head<al. ‘ “That.” said the observant tuau. "Is a iu-qairt7T,ie'' °Ur ,lair ^‘“tvr is more graphic Illustration of what con Bits' ,ll"g y°U w,nt’ Tit- stan«*y will «lo than all tbe lessons ever taught by the dripping of water upon If wlî ;“ oï ; sthf .°; pension rock*. They used to tell us In school that a drop of water would wear away the greatest stone, but here we have a anil Corpa. Pruirauün, claimVsiuos tak*“* mute picture of w hat the constant shov ing of coins In and out of that ticket Badly Mixed. seller's window has done. You will .i ^?ur,new Jog seems to sleep in notice that the wood Is worn out as tlie daytime in order to bark at smoothly and evenly as If It were done night. ” by the finest kind of tools In the hands Y' s; J glIegs |le-g a Chinese dog ” of the finest kln«l of a carpeuter. There t Chinese dog?” Isn't the faintest suspicion of a splluter “Yes; of course yon know that there. Millions of nickels aud dimes when it is day in China it’s night must have ;>ass«l and repasaed through here. —Cleveland Plain Dealer. that window au«l lieen shows! along that hardw«x>d lioard, which «as orig inally level ami flat ss a street of as An Eye to Businttv Tommy (on a visit)—Do your »pees phalt, until they wore that cavity which you now see there. magnify, grandma? 1 do uot know that there Is any par Grandma—Yes, Tommy. lonimy—Do you mind taking them ticular way of shoving the money tie- off while you cut my « cake?__Tit-Bits twet‘n ticket seller and purchaser, but I there must be. because the cavity Is elongated »alicer, saucer, deni- f|T® Permanenti» <’ur.-d. ■ . „ tTclMO—5 shaped sllsI‘ed like an all gioagatCd -nil <T. dem- .Ivin K-i r.r io"/ ^¡ÎEKÎNÂiîilN'.îtuSiiïSr***?UM *** tha' im. R. 11 K lim .la.i .menlist..PLUadeipU*.e» must bea universal way for moving the . coins back and forward. I have trav And They Do It eled a good deal, but nowhere have I M hat we need to do, "cried I, hotly, seen such a thorough object lesson as “is to take money out of politics!” ’ the hollow of that board affords. To I took out all I saw, sir!” pro make a cavity like that the exchange tested the legislator, with convincing of coin must have lieen simply enor candor.—Detroit Journal. mous and beyond the Imagination of man to conceive. It Is one of tlie great Dollars and Sense. est curiosities of the city. I doubt that Towne—Wasn't that Cholly Sap- It lias au equal In the world. This Is the fifth or sixth window sill on the I. head who was just talking to you? Browne—Y’es, There’s a fellow has that I have noticed worn away by coins In this way. At 42d. 33d. 23d and more money than brains Towne—Really. 14th street, on the tith avenue road, the Browne—Y’es. I just loaned him cashiers’ window ledges are especially a quarter.—Philadelphia Press. well worn away by the passing of coin. 1 don't suppose that one New Yorker B rooklyn , N. Y., Oct. 14.—People In a hundred notices the fact ns he who have headaches know what they reaches forth for ids ticket. New York are, and those who take Garfield Head- Mall and Express. -«■«Uli »11. « e— .. »UII- ache Powders know how completely and RECENT JUDICIAL DECISIONS. how quickly they can be cured. This Ijind acquired under the homestead remedy is ; eculiarly adapted to the laws of the United States is not liable needs of nervous women. to the debts of the patentee contracted before the Issuance of the patent, holds Me Wasn't the Supreme Court of Nebraska in the Costigan—Don't say you aint done case of Jackett vs. Bower (St) N. \\ . nothin’. Rep., 1.0751. Madigan—And why not? The profits of a boarding house con Costigan—Because that isn't good ducted by one injured by negligence are English. held, In Wallace vs. Pennsylvania Rail Madigan—Faith, I'm glad to hear road Company (Pa.), 52 I.. It. A. 33 to it, for by the powers, nayther am I. be properly considered in determining —Catholic Standard and Times. her earning power as an element of damages to be awarded for the injury. Naturally Puzzled. The right of the representatives of a "He ees,“said the French traveler, deceased person to compromise a cause "what you call ze loundsman.’ He of action for lilt* death without the con say he have been long on ze beat. I sent of the next of kin or the Probate ask: 'What you go around?’ He Court Is upheld in Foot vs. Great North say ze skevaire. 0, zees language!” ern Railroad Company (Mimi.), 52 L. R. —Chicago Herald. A. 334. although the action is brought for the benefit of the next of kin. I do not believe I’iso'g Cure for Con In Missouri nominations of a county sumption has an equal for coughs and convention for county offices cannot be colds,—J ohn F. B uy », Trinity Springs, set aside by the State Central Commit Ind., Feb. 15. 1900. tee of the party, bolds the Supreme Court of that State, In the case of State Magnanimity. vs. Crittenden (<H S. W. Rep., 1112), ex It became necessary for the F.ms- cept on a hearing accorded tlie nom'n worth papa to chastise mildly his small son the other evening, Some ees. and a showing that the nomltia time later, wishing to negotiate for a tlons were procured by fraud, or In dis favor, the chastised one stated his regard of the usages and customs of wishes, ami as an inducement added : the party. The measure of damages for the fall “Papa." ure of seed rice to grow when planted "Well, James?” “If you do this, papa, I'll excuse by one who bought It under a warranty you for that whipping you gave and did not discover Its worthlessness me.”— Pittsburg Chronicle - Tele until It was too late to plant auotber crop 1» held, In Itelger vs. Worth Com graph. pany <N. C-), 52 L. R. A. 3tl2. to be tlie purchase price, the cost of preparing the soil and planting the seed ami a reasonable rent for the land, less its / KNOW THE VALUE OF rental value for crop» that could have lieen plant«! after It wag too late for rice. If the payee of a check drawn upou a ’ ? bank In tlie State of Nebraska Indorses It to a bank In n neighboring town for collection, and the latter, without the knowledge or consent of the payee, 0 OILED CLOTHING sends It for collection through a <1 slant IT WILL bank, situated outside the State, there KEEP YOU DRY by consuming three days for making a IN THE • prewentment for payment, which might ,1^ WETTEST WEATHEB r/// }?L00« fOB *SOVt TiADt IMS have been made in one day, the Su preme Court, in the ca»e of Bedell vs. ON MLE EVERYWHERE CATALOGUES FREE Ilarflne Bank (86 N. W. Rep., l.Ortti). SHOWING FULL tfNE OF CARHtNTS ANDU1AU held that the indorsee will lie liable for A J TOWER CO BOSTON MA55 „ the conrequencee of such delay, and for Consolation. any default or negligence of the bank Farmer Monsbachker—The princi chosen to make the collection. pal of the academy says my daughter THE STAR OF STARS has got elocutionary talent. A I’urtou- I teed. Farmer Hornback—Wa-al, don’t A curlou» deed is on file In N'orthum berland County, Pennsylvania, accord take it too much to heart, Enoch; ing to the Sunbury Republican. It lo-nrs she may outgrow it. —Puck. date of October 1», 17U3. In a series of Evidence whereases It traces the ownership of the land conveyed from the Creator of “That child is going to make a the earth, who "by parole and llverey groat golf player,” said the proud of selxln did enf«»ff the parents of m in father. "How can you tell?” kind, to wit, Adam and Eve. of all that “I was teaching him to walk thin certain tract of land called and known Has I» 1 n-’ '•’> ”-.m table. In the planetary system an the earth,’’ morning, and the first thing he did Turns freel< to the wind. down through the ages to the maker of was to toe in as if he was about to make a drive."—Washington Star. the deed. SEAFARING MEN C' BUA*’ STEEL STAR WIND MILL. Ix-ngth of Illness. with raivamzod bo»ta. double-nut tod, no part cun rust or <et loose and rall,et s- Between 21 and 30 a man Is III five YXffiirht recQlntor; perfect r»-irnlation . > .«unit, ch«"«* with eran eh«n»v and one half days a year on an average, S Äreramr- .n l «row «raker «.th »»<■• and between 30 and 40 seven «lays. In Davncir* a wvi on han-1 the next teu year» he lose» eleven day» Th. thihffs **e w«»rth money to too. . . vR- annually, and t>etw«-n 30 am! 00, twen ty days. MITCHELL, LEWIS A ST AVER CO. PORT LAHO. OftiOOH. SCHOOLS *N0 COLLEGES. _F l»a»a u x Palatati«. Poaea« w—yrmekaa Weaken ovUr i« »Oe • fr fraaaunpla aod kockiet o kea.-n A in •• '•< B—8<y < Chteee* HEP YOUR BLOOO CLEAN BISHOP SCOTT ACADEMY Ju«« O fOUNDiO 1070 A HOME SCHOOl FOB BOTS "ItlfABV »*0 H»SIU1 IPUMK A Î*N» w »I* . f* IMt'»'«___ ■« r. w. r. Thoroughly Equipped. Necessary Precaution. Mr». P—I order«! a new dren» pat tern here yesterday, to I* rent. 1 wonder if it has ben cut yet? Hhopwaki r—Certainly not. madam. The assistant said you hadn't lieen in to change your mind yet.—Tit- Bits. Forse They «ay Mtiidman has tbe Continuous Performance. best equipped «table in town. Fenton Without n doubt! Why. he “Well, no man has to die more actually ba« a a>ah'«any batrack to than once, sn yway.” bang the horses' bonnets on. Philadel “I don't know about that. How phia Record. about the youngest soldier to enlist in the civil war? He dies regularly It Was All Right. year or so. ”—Philadelphia every Mr. Goodman I gave you a quarter to get • hair cut. and you've got a Jag' Press. Wooing Nlumlier» Oh, I'll get de hair-cut at de Jail to-morrow forenoon! Mat's wo t I de jag fee Judge. Quite Strange. Non« to Imitate. "Now, Johnny,"hi* mother said, as Illoblia—It aeema funny that living they atart«l for church, “I want you altogether on the ocean they should to liehave like a good little boy.” never get their a-a leg" on. “I can’t,” blubbered Johnny. "I Bloldia—Whom are you talking don’t know any good little boy,”— about? Bloblrs—The mermaids, 1’hiiulel- Chicago Tribune. phia Record. Celevtlal Costumes. Tommy's little Mint “Husband—I wonder what we shall wear ill heaven.” Tommy—Tell me a «tory, uncle. Wife—"Well,if you get there,John, I'ncle—A story' Hut I don't know I imagine most of us will wear sur what to teil a story about. prised look». "—Smart Bet. Tommy—Oh, tell me a atory about a little Imy who hail a g<>od uncle Very Plausible. who gave him lOcenta. — Indianapolis Jed—“Chollomy han just return«! Hun. from a hunting trip. lie say» he »hot the biggest U-ar on record.” A Difliculty Removed. Ned—"That might lie so. If it "Dickie, when you divided those hadn’t lieen a big one he would never five caramels with little sister did have hit it.” you give her three?” “No, ma, I guessed they wouldn’t come out even—<•<> I et one ‘fore I h rrr- Is gan to divide. "—Puck. Her Glad Surprise. "I have found out one thing about my husband,” said the bride who had lieen married before, ’’that surprise* me greatly.” Her friends moved up a little nearer, no that they could whisper, ami asked • "What is it?” ”iH« salary is just as big as he told me it was.”—Chicago Record- lieraid. An Indignant Denial. “Ho !” exclaim«! Senator Sor ghum, melodramatically; "that poli tician »ay» I have betrayed my trust, does he?” "Yes.” "Well you can go and tell hint to his teeth that he has uttered an un truth. I have stood by my trust ever since it put up the money for my campaign, years ago. ”—Washington Star. Diequalifled. Mis« Swagger—I don't think Mita Her Good Msns<rm«nt Warble ought l<> In permitted to sing Agnes— Well, Ferdy baa finally in our choir. Mr. Basao—Why? she has a lovely pro; toned. I knew he would. Ethel—Why, you said you thought voice! Resistance M is« Swagger—That may l*. hut be bail no intention of priqsming. Paterfamilias—"Tommy, stop puf Agnes—Well, he didn't have.—Tit- ■ he's wearing her last year's hat made fing that p>»>r cat'» tail." over—Ohio State Journal. Tommy—"I'm not pulling it, pa. Bits. I'm only holding on to it. The eat'» pulling it."—Tit Bits. Aa Advaaca m Art Jack I've resolved to give up drink ’’Miss Dash, what i» yonr rfub <1<> ing and lietting and all that sort of mg to help («eautify thè city’” It make» no >1 ffereace what gram thing. "Oh. we are working hard to get matb-al errors are made In paying a Tom—Oh. you'll never keep that thsclothing house* to use tbe w«.rd compliment t* a man, be wlU never resolution. notice them. Jack—I’ll bet you the drinks I do. ’Irourers' in»tea«i <>f ’parità rfl their «I veri iremeii t».—Detroit Frv* Press —Glasgow Evening Timee. a