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About The Eugene weekly guard. (Eugene, Or.) 1899-1904 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 26, 1901)
Th« Ms* Thing. •‘I hear you have been »fleeted to Oliver th« validctory at your com- ’‘^'" "replievl the fair graduate to i. -«nd it’s just worrying me sick. I ;,n't know what style to adopt.'’ I.-uhv, there’s only one style to a .Afdietory address. I should— —¡¡iilly' I'm»i*aktng of my gown." „Fhiladlphia Frew. «... («more Catarrh tn this «wtion of the Tb5I; th.n all other diwsse. put mxvther, **“.B„i l the Iasi few >'esr» *"• 9U! P*’ 4 t ■ b« «nJ“"!:' vor a xieat msuy ' km du. tors pro ineurs' !*-, - !,<.»[ du 'S-e, sud orewril» 4 b-csl »‘'““.ii *114 by constantly fallir g to cure r’“e, ,.*'1 treatment, prouounred It Incurable. •,!S* h*s preon catarrh to bo a coir>tltu. u' »-«> and lher. f ra reqrr r. « e-:..-itu- tioB* nI. Hsll’a Catarrh Cure, man- *" ..rlllvt J Cheney A Co , T led". Ohio, “*L “ n'rc n-l rational cur ■ on the market. ?'!Vkeo tniurtrally tn 4oxa irom 10dr..|»to ".“¿t àrnful It airs dirvi tly . a the l. <>o<l • *•. . ..!■«•■•■ I hey ■ ffer hundred dollar« ter any case t fallato ’“L’sJtid for circular« and ti «tim<>nials. A4- F J. CH ENEY 4 CO.. Toledo, O. a. l ì ty Drnxxt«!*. "»*• gil'a taaiily Pi119 >re the be,it- Why Th«y Gushed. "But his letters are so gushing,” they protested to the fair young thing who was corresponding with a senti mental youth. . "I know they are, she said, bub you must remember that he writes with a fountain pen."—Baltimore American. Not H Violent Purge. The d»y ot the cannon-ball pill is pa«t Swee', frscrant.'mild, but vff. eUve I'a-ean t- I'atr ly Cstbarlic takes tbeir place. All druggists, lUe, Be. J#*- __ _________________ In a Nutshell. "How did you like the finale to my first act?” inquired the playwright. " I didn’t see it,” replied the first- nighter. “Ah! Got there too late, eh?” "No; went away too soon.” She Loved Botany. She said she loved botany. They <ere wandering through horticul tural hall. "And where do they keep the elec tric plants?” she asked. He was too shocked to reply. — Phil adelphia Times. B rooklyn , N. Y., Oct. 14.—The value of Gsrtield T< a, the herb cure, is sug gested by these (acts: it is a specific for all diseases of the liver, kidneys, stom ach and bowels ; it purifies the blood and lays the foundation for health. A Hard Problem. First Scientist—This is a puzzling case, indeed. Second Scientist—I should say so. Why this would puzzle an amateur scientist. — Baltimore American. An Ethical Sidelight. Harris—If you knew he was lying, why didn't you tell him so? Buck—What would have been the use? He knew he was lying fast enough, and he would not have felt so pleasant toward me if I had let him know 1 knew it, too.—Boston Tran script. Pure to be arrested!—Any ache or pain —by Hamlin's famous Wizard Oil. lour druggist sells it. Between Friends. Edith—Ferdy and I have been en gaged for a month, and nobody sus pected it. Ethel—No, everybody thought front his looks he’d been playing the races. A Real One. “Whi-w! exclaimed the first pigeon, "wasn’t that sparrow mad when I swiped that grain of corn from him'.'” "I should say,” replied the other. "Talk about your ‘small hot bird’.” —Philadelphia Press. Mothers will find Mrs. Winslow’s Sooth ing Syrup the best remedy to use lor their children during the teething period. Goggles or Nothing. "No, doctor; I won’t wear plain spectacles. If I’m compelled to wear glasses, I’ll try goggles. ” "But, my dear sir, there is nothing fashionable in goggles.” "Oh, yes?; people will think I run sn automobile.”—Philadelphia Press. Plenty of That Askit—So you think there was glory enough to go around at Santi- ago’ Tellit—Yes; and there memory enough to go all the way around Cuba and back again.—Balti more American. JOHN POOLE, Portland, Oregon, foot of Morrison StrMt. Can give you ths beet bargains in Buggies. Plows. Boilers and Engines, n 'mills and Pnnrtn’ sn I General Machinery. See us before buying. Summer Resolutions luxK Keeley Cure b“r« relief bom liquor, opium «n t loovoie kabtta. Band tor particular« u> lialaw latfHnts Mo»e<t t<> «-■<> wiin»'»« ’•»'•J inSIHUlB, Ave.. fort land. Ore«»n BEST FOR THE BOWELS ■ WORN BY PASSING COINS F.,vri ■ ,,.r ,|i'.,“;? usi llitrrv»l til Bur ||1W.... Will >av«or pruhuiv lit» Y. that so many pi,,,,;* ‘»¿isl î ,1?"*'’***"" SEAFARING MEN g X10™1 il «rese at amount of power t--’ Put t*»dr*-ther “.^nnttw,; Jr.P-!. 'lite 1 , no *'*'rr*nxe ien..<m with ever. «ban«. ’rpm^r.«un .nd xrow weaker with a,e. ■rX'VhTw km W TO°' M itchell . lewis a staveh co. PORTLAHO. ORtOOM. SCHOOLS AND COLLEGES. I bishop scon acadfmy --------- —P*:*tabi«. Potato f7yt«'<-k«n wF**«.«, ovtir PB. » r'iw «ampi« *O« Pooklei □ be*;’.» 1—W< y f 'JTÎ *',''!••• AJar> '• 1 KEEP YOUR BLOOD CLEAN Wiodow Ledges. Talk about money burning boles tn People's pockets.” remarked an ob servant stranger the other day, "but ''"y, ' here Is a case of nickels burning holes In wood." He poluted to the from of ..... the ticket seller's window on oue of the L stations as he spoke. The wood Bound to Sell, work wa» scooped out several Incites of ^r1hr~W°Ul,In’t you like » bo«|e deep where the Intruded passenger iiair restorer* usually shoves In bls fare, and the cav- C«tomer-No; thank you. I pre. fer to remain bald-headed. ‘ lhat." said the observant utau, "is a ius^ttoX11’®" °Ur l,“ir W,lon?r “ more graphic Illustration of what con Bits * Un8 >UU want’ 8lr ~Tit- stancy will do than all the lewsous ever taught by the dripping of water tq>ou rocks. They used to tell us lu school |[wÂîiSTH\°:PEXSlOi'X that a drop of water would wear away the greatest atone, but here we have a corps. I'r. seoutiu, claim s"^ ïsV““ mute picture of what the constant shov ing of coin* In and out of that ticket Badly Mixed. seller's window has done. You will our new dog seems to sleep in notice that the wood Is worn out as t te daytime in order to bark at smoothly and evenly as If It were done night." by the finest kind of tools In the hands 1 glle8s he’» » Chinese dog.” of the fiuest kind of a carpenter. There < hiuese dog?" lsu t the faintest suspicion of a splluter "Yes; of course you know that there Millions of nickels and dimes when it is day in China it’s night must have passed and repassed through here. —Cleveland Plain Dealer. that window and Iteen shoved along that hardwood Isvard. which was orlg- An Eye to Businns i Inally level and flat as a street of as Tommy (on a visit)—Do your slices phalt. until they wore that cavity which you now see there. magnify, grandma? ; 1 do not know that there Is any par Grandma—Yea, Tommy. Tommy—Doyon mind taking them ticular way of shoving the money be off while you cut my cuke?—Tit-Bits. tween ticket seller and purchaser, but there because tur the unviiy cavity 1* Is ----- must be, , urvnuttu shaped like au elongated saucer, dent- FITS ' •' "• ■ asMMMM ,. ‘r'iTL'u ’ 1 W ’ ' in ‘‘ r n :" t 1 ■*> ' r KI ibm ' p Great S-rG iri''' K,,< El •OOtri.lK-rtle.ndUeJ , onstratlng beyond auv doubt that there -se. D b .K. 11. K link . Ltd .931 ArchSt.. Philadelphia. must be a universal way for moving the i coins back ami forward. I have trav And They Do It eled a good deal, but nowhere have I hat we net«! to do,’’cried I, hotly, seen such a thorough object lesson as “is to take money out of politics!” the hollow of that toard affords. To "I took out alt I saw, sir!” pro make a cavity like that the exchange tested the legislator, with convincing of coin must have lieen simply enor candor.—Detroit Journal. mous and beyond the Imagination of man to conceive. It is one of the great Dollars and Sense. est curiosities of the city. I doubt that Towne—Wasn't that Cholly Sap- It has att equal In the world. This Is the fifth or sixth window sill on the I. head who was just talking to you? Browne—Yes, There's a fellow has that I have noticed worn away by coins lu this way. At 42d. 83d. 23d nnd more money than brains Towne—Really. 14th street, on the t’ith avenue road, the Browne—Yes. I just loaned him cashiers' window ledges are especially a quarter.—Philadelphia Press. well worn away by the passing of coin. 1 don't suppose that one New Yorker B rooklyn , N. Y., Oct. 14.— People In a hundred notices the fact as lie who have headaches know what they reaches forth for bls ticket. New York are, and those who take Garfield Head Mall and Express. ache Powder« know how completely and RECENT JUDICIAL DECISIONS. how quickly they can be cured. This I-aud acquired under the homestead remedy is ; eculiarly adapted to the laws of the United States Is not liable needs of nervous women. to the debts of the patentee contracted before the issuance of the patent, holds He Wasn't the Supreme Court of Nebraska In the Costigan—Don't say you aint done case of Jackett vs. Bower (SO N. W. nothin’. Itep., 1,0751. Madigan—And why not? The profits of a boarding house con Costigan—Because that isn’t good ducted by one Injured by negligence are English. held. In Wallace vs. Pennsylvania Ball Madigan—Faith, I’m glad to hear road Company (Pad, 52 L. B. A. 33 to it, for by the powers, nayther am I. be properly considered In determining —Catholic Standard and Times. her earning power as an element of damages to be awarded for the injury. Naturally Puzzled. The right of the representatives of a “He ees,"said the French traveler, deceased person to compromise a cause “what you call ze roundsman.’ He of action for Ills death without the con say he have been long on ze beat, I sent of the next of kin or the Probate ask: ‘What you go around?’ He Court Is upheld In Foot vs. (Jreat North say ze skevaire. O, zees language ern Ballroad Company (Minn.I. 52 I.. B. —Chicago Herald. A. 354, although the action Is brought for the benefit of the next of kin. I (io not believe Piso’s ('tire for Con In Missouri nominations of a county sumption has an equal for coughs and convention for county offices cannot be colds,—J ohn F. B oyei , Trinity Springs, set aside by the State Central Commit Ind., Feb. 15. 1900. tee of the party, bolds the Supreme Court of that State, In the case of Slate Magnanimity. vs. Crittenden (64 8. W. Bep., 1621, ex It became necessary for the E ma worth papa to chastise mildly il i« cept on a bearing accorded the noitt n small son the other evening, Some ees, and a showing that the nomimi tfons were procured by fraud, or In dis time later, wishing to negotiate for a regard of the usages and customs of favor, the chastised one stated his wishes, and as an inducement added : the party. The measure of damagi s for the fall "Papa." ure of seed rice to grow when planted “Well, James”’ "If you do this, papa, I'll excuse by one who bought ft under a warranty you for that whipping you gave and did not discover Its worthlessness me.”— Pittsburg Chronicle - Tele until It was too late to plant another crop Is held. In Belger vs. Worth Com graph. pany (N. Cd, 52 L. B. A. 362. to be the purchase price, the cost of preparing the soil ami planting the seed and a reasonable rent for the land, less its / A'/'KNOW THE VALUE OF rental value for crops that could have been planted after It was too late for rice. J If the payee of a check drawn upon a bank In the State of Nebraska Indorses It to a bank In a neighboring town for BRk*’ collection, and the latter, without the knowledge or consent of the payee, OILED CLOTHING sends It for collection through a d slant ’// I IT WILL bank, situated outside the State, there Y/ KEEP YOU DRY by consuming three days for making n M IN THE • - H r WETTEST WEATMEB presentment for payment, which might U V//}W k ™*Wt TPADEHAiK have been made tn one day, the Su preme Court. In the case of Bedell vs. 7—ON MLE EVERTWHERE CATALOGUES FREE Ilarfine Bank (*’> N. W. Bep.. 1.0611». LOWING FULL BNE Of MRflWrJ ANPHAU held that the Indorsee will tie Halite for A J TOWER CO BOSTON. MASS „ the couseqiiencew of such delay, ami for any default or negligence of the bank chosen to make the collection. THE STAR OF STARS A Curious Deed. STEEL A curious deed Is on file Ln Norf hum tierland County. Pennsylvania, accord ing to the Sunbury Republican. It bears STAR date of October It. 1703. In a series of whereases It traces the ownership of WIND the land convoyed from the Creator of the earth, who "by irnrole and Ilverey 3f seisin dl<l enfeoff the parents of man MILL kind. to wit, Adam and Eve, of all that certain tract of land called and known lias ball besrinx In turn-i table. In the planetary system as the earth,” Turn« freely to th* wind. oberi, ln«tirl»x down through the ages to the maker of Ball besnnsa thrust In , • 1 -• I «hte«t runnlnx qua tin's the deed. >r pumping Then why not bu7 * **TAK CANDY CATHARTIC Aa Object Lesson Offered by Ticket- IbsfYk*«.* o»«v*" TOUNOSO IS70 A HOME SCHOOL FOB BOTS ■mlIABT »N0 RaMOAl 1»-l*>iH a ?st*iii .r»iwt'»’t___ length of lllne««. Between 21 and 30 a man Is III five and one half days a year on sn average, and between 30 and 4o «even days. In the next ten years he loses eleven day« annually, and totween 50 and tjo, twen ty days. Thoroughly ».quipped. Forae- They say Htudman line the beat equipped «table in town. Fenton Without a doubt! Why. he actually has a nrahogany list rack to hang the hor*es' bonnets on. I'hlladt-I pbla Record. It Was All Right. Mr. Goodman-1 gave you a quarter to get a hair cut. and you've got a Jag! Woolug Nlumtors-Oh. I'M get de ■ hair-cut at de Jail to-morrow forenoon! Dat'a wo't I got de Jag fer Judge. Quite String«. Non« to Imitate. Consolation. Farmer Mosatochker—The princi pal of the academy says my daughter lias got elocutionary talent. Farmer Hornback—Wa-al, don’t take it too much to heatt, Enoch; she may outgrow it.—Puck. "Now, Johnny,"his mother said, as Blobto—It «reins funny that living they started for church, "I want you altogether fin the ocean they should to tohave like a good little toy.” never get their sea legs on. Hlobto—Whom are you talking “I can't,” blubbered Johnny. "I don’t know any good little boy.”— about? Blobto—The mermaids.—Philadel Chicago Tribune. phia Record. Celeitlal Coetumee. Evidence “Husband—I wonder what we shall “That child is going to make a great golf player,” raid the proud wear in heaven.” Wife—"Well.if you get there,John, father. I imagine moat of ua will wear sur “How can you tell?” “I was teaching him to walk thia prised looks.’’—Smart Bet. morning, and the first thing he did Very Ptauubl«. was to toe in as if he was about to make a drive.”—Washington Htar. Jed—“Chollomy has just returned from a hunting trip. Ils says he N«c«»«»ry Precaution. shot the biggest hear on record." Ned—"That might lie so. if it Mrs. P—I ordered a new dress pat tern here yesterday, to to sent, I hadn't l*en a big one he would never have hit it.” wonder if it han toen cut yet? Hhopwak'-r—t ertainly not, madam. To Th« Very End. The assistant raid you hadn’t lieen in to change your mind yet.—Tit- An old lady, being told that a c<*r- tain lawyer “was lying at the point Bite. " " exclaimed “My gracious! of death, Continuous Performs«« Won't even death stop that man's “Well, no man has to die more lying?”—Tit-BiU. thsn once, anyway ” R«>i>tanc« “f don't know about that, How Paterfamilias —"Tommy, atop pul soldier to enlist about the youngest in the civil war? He dies regularly ling that poor cat’s tail.” Tommy—“I'm not pulling it, pa. every year or so.’’—Philadelphia I'm only holding on to it. The cat’s Press. palling it."—Tit-Bits. Tommy'i Little Hint. Tommy—Tell me a story, uncle. I'ncle—A story! But 1 don't know An Indignant D«ni*l. what to tell a story about. “ Bo 1” exclaimed Senator Sor- Tommy—Oh, tell me a story atout ghuni, melodramatically; “that poli a little Isiy who had a g'«*l uncle tician say« I have betrayed my trust, who gave him lOcents.—Indianapolis does he’” Hun. “Yes.” "Well you can go and tell him to A Difficulty Removed. hie teeth that he has uttered an un "Dickie, when you divided those truth. I have stood by my trust ever five caramels with little sister did since it put up the money for my campaign, years ago."—Washington you give her three?” "No, ma, I guesses! they wouldn’t Star. _______ ___ come out even—so I et one ’fore I Diiqusliltad. began to divide.’’—Puck. Miss Swagger—I don’t think Miss H«r Good Mana«rm«nt Warble ought t<> to permittud to sing Agnes— Well, Ferdy has finally in our choir, Mr Basso— Why? she has a lovely pro|MMw-d. I knew he would. , Ethel—Why. you said you thought voice I Miss Swagger—That may to, but tic had no intention of proposing. Agnes—Well, he didn't have.—Tit- she's wearing her last year s hat mail« uV,.r—(thio State Journal. Bits. Is th« Blood. I've resolved to give up drink- It make« no matkal error« compliment to notUe them. « An Advanc« In Art "Miss Dash, what is yonr rtub do ing to help toautify the city?” "Oh. we are working hard to get the clothing bouses to use the word ’trousers’ instead of ’pants ifl their advertisement«.— Detroit Free Press Her tiled Surpriee. "I have found out one thing about my husband,” said the bride who had lai n married Indore, “that surprised me greatly.” Her friends moved up a little nearer, ao that they could whisper, and naked “What in it?” “ills salary is just I a* biff as he told me it wo.”—Chiot go Record- Herald. ‘