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About The Eugene weekly guard. (Eugene, Or.) 1899-1904 | View Entire Issue (Sept. 21, 1901)
0N A ROMAN COIN I. in old dvnariua fro,u K”“*— H** 1* ** , ...if'» head halt buried tn goaif 1 *"ar <rvvü ruit— -_t in this polished case hath found a home. ^.„re from any tarnish more, or dust. I rail it •‘rust,” this gr«ea and purple rp..u'the ancient silver coin-but, nay! -i, but the copper driven out. as pain And sorrow purge from us the dross sway. A, B, C AND OTHERS. ^inWur^ |JhoiO(|raphi| pure, ah! how pure this precious disk, re fined n, ages’ testing!—purer than the hour wbrB if"‘ iD ,h*‘ ‘•'re‘“ Eu)P‘,ror'l‘ u,int shined. The glistening type of all his pomp and The amateur photographer who 1 power. wishes to make a name and reputation Wherein he thinks It could be made still better. Discussion along this toad go we. all scarred and stained by life’s -hat will be worth something to him is worth a great deal. I must make a specialty of some one line long test. Ire we not purer than the sjul untried, and stick to It. Think the thing over If you are troubled with your nega Whose coarse alloy doth still abuse its and study the particular subjects that tives frilling, give up using your alum best suit your temperament and the best— bath which at beat Is rather trouble A coin that shines, but is unpurified? surroundings, and In which success can some. and try rubblug a little vaseline —James Buckham, in Philadelphia best be won. George Horace Lorimer the outer edges of the plate, aud Times. editor of the Saturday Evening Post, on your troubh-s will cease. I)o not put says the condition of affairs Is such too much on. however, or it will become now that the man who makes a study mixed up with the developer. of and best understands some one sub ject, even if It be no more than huekle- If one's hands become stalued with l>erry puddings, will make a Is-tter suc developer, pour a few drops of muriatic cess than the one with a general add in a minim measure, and till up knowledge of a variety of things. Go with water. Dip your lingers In this slow and sure. Put away some of the KAlt MISS HAYMOND - The pictures you think all right and In a and theu wash them with hot water and soap, and the stains will disappear. Magpie Dramatic Club, of which, as 1 think you know, I am a mem- week or two look at them agalu. De The Juice of a ripe tomato well rubbed fects will appear, not apparent at first, ber. has been placed in a very awkward in to the hands will also remove the position by the sudden marriage of its and points where an improvement stains. leadiug lady. Will you help us out of could have been made will suggest our difficulty by taking her place in the themselves. Get some friend who Is Do not use old hypo. New Is cheap approaching performance of "A Golden capable of doing so to criticise your enough and when a fixing bath la used Heart?” The part of Sybil would suit w’ork honestly. This does not mean you splendidly. Perhaps you will let me to tell how good It is. and what a great too long. It becomes highly charged come and talk the matter over with you photographer you are. but to say with a de|K>sit of nitrate of sliver, aud is very apt to stalu the film. tomorrow evening. If 1 do not hear from you by the morning I shall conclude I have your permission. Believe me, his traditions as stage manager to wax properly. Tell me frankly, what's yohrs truly. ROBERT MORE. very enthusiastic over anything.” wrong with me. do you think?” Marjorie altymond looked nt the let “But that terrible third act scene! I "Frankly then, you are too self re- ter with an expression half of pleasure, shall never rise to the occasion there!" strained. You won't let yourself be car half of alarm on her pretty face. “The great thing Is to remember that "What shall I do, dad?” she asked, you've got to persuade a skeptical audi rled away with your part.” "Why, you said the other day that It appealing to her father across the ence that you’re In love with me." was a good thing not to be carried breakfast table. "It’s very difficult.” away with one's part!" “Whatever you like, of course, “I dare say.” "Oh. you’re not going to remember Madge. Y< u always do, you know," "But you’ve got to persaude them, what 1 said more than a week ago, “I'm not sure what I want to do,” too, that you're in love with me, and surely! Besides. I merely used that ar said Marjorie, ignoring the latter part you do It much better than I. However gument to Induce you to accept the of the sentence. "The worst of It is. do you manage it?” part. The end Justifies the means.” I’ve got to make up my mind nt once, “I—I really don't know." "I’m annoyed with you. all the same. because—let me see, what is it he says? For a man who prided himself on his You might have saved me a week’s Oh, here: ’If I do not bear from you by Self-possession, More looked a trifle misery. I’ve been so afraid of letting the morning---- ’ the morning! Why, awkward. the part run away with me that I sim that’s to-day—now—thlB very minute!” "I suppose those things come more ply wouldn't let myself go. 1 didn't “H'ni! I>et me look at the envelope. naturally to some people than to oth want to be inartistic.” Why, that letter was only posted at ers,” Madge remarked, innocently. “Please forgive me." said More, hum midnight, so you couldn’t possibly have "Well, suppose we have another go at bly. "I’m horribly peuitent. 1 had no got It before this morning.” that scene now,” said More. Idea---- ” “Consequently, I couldn’t possibly let “Very well. Do you remember our "But now I’m simply dying to try him know In time if I didn’t want him positions?" that scene again!” interrupted Madge, to call this evening, lie might have “Yes. You’re sitting on the garden excitedly. "Come, let’s begin nt the thought of that. IIow stupid of him!” seat—there, that settee will do and very beginning, so that we can get "On the contrary, Madge, It was I’m standing Just behind you. Now, are worked up to the climax!” rather clever of him,” retorted Mr. you ready? Jack says: 'I love you, *•••••• ltaymond, regarding her humorously. Sybil!’ ” “ Bravo, More! Bravo, Madge! I had “Oh, do you think we need go Miss Raymond attempted a frown, through all that again? You do It so no idea you could net like that.” And but only achieved a Bmile. Tom Raymond regarded Ids friend and "But I don't know that I care about well and there’s nothing for me to do sister with an air of profound admira except to cast down my eyes, so I can't stepping Into Miss Montgomery's tion. shoes," she said. “She was quite a very well go wrong.” “I—I didn't know anybody was list "Just as you like. We'll go to the end star, you see. and all the male Magpies ening," said Madge, looking a trifle of Jack's little speech, then: ’ Say you ire such shining lights; I shall feed like flushed. hate me, Sibyl, and put me out of mis ■ farthing dip In comparison.” "Oh. I only came In a minute ago.’1 “Why not talk It over with More to ery.’ ” “I'm glad you liked It,” remarked “’Is it such misery?’ Let me see- More. night?” suggested her father. “Any does the embrace come there? ” how, you needn’t make up your mind "I.lkcd it!" cried Tom. "My dear boy. “Not yet. Jack replies: ’To know it was superb.” till then, you know, Madge. The press ing question of the moment Is, what that I have made you wretched and “Awfully good of you to say so,” said myself ridiculous!’ And then Sibyl are you going to have for breakfast?” More, with elaborate politeness. says: ‘ To know that you have made me «•••••• "Not at all. I assure you. I mean ev "It's awfully good of you to come to very proud and very happy.’ That’s ery word,” retorted Tom, calmly. where you rise and come up to me. the rescue. Miss Raymond,” were taking both my hands. Jack says: ’.My “Why. If I hadn't known you were act More’s first words to Madge that even darling!' And then we do the em ing. that stage kiss of yours would ing. have deceived me completely!” Go on.” "But I hven't said ‘Yes' at all yet," brace. “By the way. More." added Tom. "Walt a minute. I can never get that she protested, “and I’m not sure that I embrace properly.” Interrupted Madge. turning suddenly upon his friend, “the am going to, either.” “Now tell me exactly, after I've taken girl's name is Sibyl. Isn't it?” “Then you're far more stony-hearted hold of your bauds, wliat ought I to “Yes, of course.” than 1 took you to be. Just think of my "H'ni. You got a bit mixed at times, do? ” position! Why, I’ve as good as prom “Simply put your bead on my shoul that's all. So did Madge. Well, so long! ised the Magpies to get you for Sybil.” I dare say that scene wants all the re ” "You know very well you’d no busi der. hearsing you can give It?" With which “Which shoulder?” ness to do so. Why, you’ve never even “The left—the one nearest to you. parting shot Master Tom took a hur seen me act.” That's always a safe rule. Now, then, ried leave. Then Madge said, "How absurd of “Now, remember what an Infallible shall we try that again?" physiognomist I am. You've got an Tom!" “All right.” acting face; that’s quite sufficient as And Madge went through the cere “It wasn't so very absurd!” More re surance for me.” mony of embracing her companion in a torted. "Why. I noticed It, too.” “Noticed what?" "What nonsense! I’m only a feeble business-like fashion. amateur—that’s what Tom calls me— “That you said 'Robert' once or twice "There,” she Baid, "that was better, and Sybil Is quite beyond me. I'm Instead of 'Jack.' ” wasn't it?” sure." "You know very well you made the “Beautiful," replied More, gravely. “At least, why not have a shot at It? “But, forgive my saying so. couldn’t same mistake." she added hotly. "You It's a capital part, and you ought to you manage to put a little more feeling called the girl 'Madge' every time!” “It wasn't a mistake on my part," play It well. Just think of that ex into those words: ’To know that you quisite scene In the third act between have made me very proud ami very said Robert. "I meant It." It was a Jack and Sybil. Doesn't the thought of happy?' You see, the audience doesn’t full minute before he dared to look at that tempt you?” know that Sibyl loves Jack, and you his companion. When he did so he dis “On the contrary. It appals me. I hate have to make It as plain as possible to covered that she was laughing softly. "I'm glad you meant It, Robert,” she those sentimental bits. They don’t ap them.” "Oh. dear, It's so hard!” sighed the said. "be<ause I meant it, too."—Wom peal to me In the least. I’m such a frightfully prosaic creature myself, you girl. “I feel I don't say those words an's Life. know." ”8o much the beter; then you needn’t HISTORIC BATES HOLSE, OF INDIANAPOLIS, A MEMORY. lie afraid of letting the part run away with you. Come, you’re not going to be so cruel as to disappoint us?” “Well, If you put In that way—I don’t want to be disagreeable. But, I warn fou, 1 shall never be able to do that love scene properly.” “You will, with practice. We can have lots of private rehearsals, If you like. My evenings are quite at your disposal." "Why. yon don't mean to say you're cast for Jack? Oh. how funny!” And Miss Raymond burst Into a peal of laughter. More looked a trifle hurt. "1 don’t consider the situation so very humorous,” he said. "However, I'm filad If it amuses you," “Oh. I really beg your pardon!” cried the girl. “I know I'm frightfully rude; but If there Is one person In the world “fore prosaic and matter-of-fact than u>y»elf. 1 believe It’s you. Mr. More. And the Idea of us two Impersonating a love-sick couple! It's really too ab surd!" And the speaker gave vent to fresh peals of merriment. ' es. of course. I see it now. Ha. The historic old Bat-» H h ' ha’ It’s awfully funny!” retorted More. an<] joined In the laugh with a <u«to that did him Infinite credit. But ’h*n. of course, More was a prominent 1«2 by Harvey Bates. N . .n _ • “ ( „ , . •“ember of the Magpie Amateur Dra IflO.fXMk a go-slly sum for sn in»» ’ , th« r..-«t of A few year, later Improvementa .ni “»•tic Club. Vnder i'. v.ri .us o»D- r-i> ; ■ ’ •; . , . . win.ni«>« • And you honestly think I shall do?” stopped there before the n er na- *’^"d Madge, on the day following the m,.n honored ‘»e h-Jtel -Uh t Hr P~* “ " ‘ tlent full rehearsal of “A Golden ti .nsl event in «hi-b the Bate, ngareo „ ,lb, m»n Heart." Headricks, who- h’“J* ” fg,...... 'ou’ll do first-rate." More respond rim« from »11 P*rt* '’•'“* ... _ ., lh j.ha M heartily. "Hartley Is delighted with 7.".>rrldors are Calve. Patti. Irvtn«. k»lw.a Booth. J arttete sal actors of diattoct <*> I know, of course. It’s against ® A LOOK INTO THE ORIGIN OF OUR ALPHABET. Oar Letter. Are Mainly thr Same a. those Used by the Roman.—Earlier thrived from Greek aud l*hea,cian— r h.irt Study of interesting Subject. “T” waa the twenty-aecond and last letter tn the Phenletan alphatiet. Its value Ims ever been the same. It was 10D as a nume-al. aud was formerly branded lu the hand of a couvicted thief. "L”’ was added by the Greeks, and was written as \ or as Y. In the print era' ease its place Is supplementary, like that of "J.” aud not In order. “V" Is older, ami long represented the same value. It was 5 as a numeral, aud »> remains. “AV" Is both consonant aud vowel. “X" comes to us from the 1-atln. and was a superfluous slgu there, as It was In the Gfeek aud Is w ith us. It deuotes no sound which Is not fully provided for otherwise. “Y” Is an evolutlou from "U,” has both vowel aud conso nant values, and meant 150 lu medie val Roman numerals. “Z" dates from the hieroglyphic age. It Is the rarest of our consonauts. Except In Initials, Its every value could be supplied or Is supplied by "a."—Chicago Ttmes-ller- aid. HUMOR OF THE WEEK] STORIES TOLD BY FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS. <MJ, Curious su4 Laughable I'haar» of liuiuau Nature Grapbically Por trayed by Kaaiueot Word Article of Our Own Day A Uudget of >’ua. Our letters are mainly the same as First Shirtwaist Girl So you ar«* go- 1 those used by the Romans, aud their Ing rowing with Mr Floorwalker? Ill» alphabet wa. oue of several derived trick Is to threaten to rock the boat uu- I from the Greek, which was formed less you give him a kiss. from the Phenlelan. And back of that S«vond Shirtwaist Girl (naively)— is a good deal of guesswork. Very like Well, mother said she wasn't afraid to ly the Egyptian hieroglyphic and hier let me go with him. as all the girls say i atic characters formed the baae of the he never rucks the l*out Brooklyn Ea Pheulclau letter-making. A Is the first gle. letter lu all the alphabets that catue Room for Doubt, from the l’henician, au<l tn that lan Experience Servant Gentleman guage it signified “ox”; the Greek "al wants to s«*e you. sir. pha" means the same thing, though lu Mr. Richman Who Is lie? Egyptian hieroglyphic equivalent was Experienced Servant I couhlu't flml a bird somewhat like the vulture lu out out. sir; but, Judglu' by his clothes, lie’* WHERE MONEY IS LOST. line. either a la-ggar or a millionaire, sir.— "B” was also the second letter in the Solle.l Linen at the Leun lev Often Ni-vv York Weekly. rheulclau, as lu the Greek. The name Contains large Burnt. of the character wa* “both,” meaulug “It Is astonishing bow careless [><o- bouse. It has less variety of use than ple are al>out sending clothes to a lauu any other, being more frequently si dry without first searching them for lent, as lu "dumb,” or "debt." In the money and Jewelry." said the manager origimu Indio European or Aryan lan of a laundry the other day, according guages “b" was rarely fouud. to the New York Matl Express. "Yes "C” lu the l’henician and Greek had tvrday a woman sent a bundle of dri-as the value of a hard “g." as In "go.” mid es here, and In the pocket of oue was was similar 11 the enunciation of "k" $llk* lu bills. We never seareh clothing as "g" Is now. For a long time the for valuables. The dresses were put iu Latins made “c" do service for both the washing machine, soap and water "k” and "g.” No word containing “c” put In. and after the machine had been pronounced as "a" Is of Anglo Saxon running half au hour it was oiumed, origin, except a few mlsa[>clled words, and the mnu lu charge was astonished as "cinder,” which was originally “sin to see paper money floating arouud on der." the water. The bills had In some man In the English “D” has the same place ner worked out of the pocket of the —fourth letter and third consonant as dress, and, strauge to say. not oue of lu the Roman, Greek and l’henician. them was torn. We rau the money and Is singularly uuiuteresting as a through the drying machine aud then study, Ironed each bill carefully. After we “E” Is au unchanging and aristocrat got through you could not have told tc conservative. Its form was always thnt the money had liesn In a laundry years of age, and I have never smoked pretty nearly the same ns at present. washing machine for half an hour. M e a cigar In my life. llov Well. If yer likes ter foller me Its name In l’henician was "bo,” which sent for the woman, and when site most scholars say signified a window. came to the laundry she had not yet you can 'ave this butt when I'm done with It." Ally Sloper. In its two quantities, as It “met” and mlssvsl her money. in "they,” it constitutes al>out 5 per A llot Hrtart. “Not long ago a man sent some shirts cent of English utterance. Deacon Scrooge No, parson, 1 dou't to our Inundry from the bosom of one "F” in the l’henician meant peg or of which lu* forgot to remove a diamond rightly think we ought to give you a hook, and its value was that of the En stud worth $150. Our people did not vacation. You know, the devil never glish "w.” This "w " sound gradually s<a* the dlamoud, ami we did not find takes one. went out of use in Greek, aud the sign It until lie called tla up and made known Parson Snn|»p«*lgh He would, Dea with It. In the adaptation of the al his lose. Then 1 put my men to search con. If you didn't keep him so busy.— phabet to Latin use the slgu w as resur ing. and we found the diamond lu the Baltimore American. rected, mid first received the value we catch baslu lu the sewer.” May Sometimes l»o, give it. Sllllcus Figure« never lie. "G" is a sign of Italic origin, having A Whittling Npider. CynlcUM Nonsense! Did you ever 1 h * cu fabricated by the Romans by add II. A. I’eters, one of the owners of Ing a tail or drop to the "c"—a transi the l.ashaway dairy farm, on the see a girl In n tailor imide gowu and tion very easily detected. It never oc Rpencer road, while on his way to then size her up In a bathing suit?— curs at the beginning of words of An S|iencer, Mass , captured au Immense Philadelphia Record. glo Saxon orlglu. lu medieval Roman spider of unknown species. When Mr. A Constant Reminder. it stood for 4<)0, aud with a Hue over Peters first saw the spider, which was Dunlap—I see you call your mi[>litha it for 400,000. making a liee line over the public high lauuelt after your wife. "H” came from the I'iienlclan, and way for East Brookfield, he was so Bertwhlstle (working over launch en has had a curious history, In which the amaaed nt the sight that lie rubbed gine, perspiring) Yes; because when cockney inability to manage it may l>e both eyes several Ituies before he could ever I want ts» go anywhere with It, it traced. “H” meant ‘JOO lu medieval realise that the monster wa» a reality. takes so long before It gels r«*ady to Roman. Then, hastily grasping an empty glass start. Puck. “1” may be traced to the Egyptian. milk Jar. I’eters Junqs-d from the wag Legendary. The I’Uenlelans repres. nted It rather as on and was alxiut bi make the stranger "What was It Pandora did?” a consonant, but It was converted to a prisoner when he was startled by a “She opened a ls»x and let files out In vowel value by the Greeks, and the Ro distinctly audible whistle emanating the house Iwfore Eplmetheus got the fly mans gave it hotli consonant ami vowel from the Insect. Instantly a flock of scr«*ens lu." Chicago Record Herald. duty. minute facsimiles of the [lecullar spi "J" Is but another form of the same der came rushing from all directions, Too Had. letter. Thev wen1 used Indifferently <>bMnlH*l lug Uli th»* U>»»« of till* bill "Do you know, Miss Friable,” »aid until about 1(130. As a numeral It had der, and hid themselves In the fuzzy the large head««l young author, “my the same value as “I,” but was used hair on Its back. After securing her most brilliant thoughts come to me lu only lit conclusion, as "vllj," for eight. young Mrs. Hplder assumeil a defensive uty sleep?” "K" Is l’henician, and still earlier attitude. Peters thrust the mouth of "It's a grent pity that you are trou Egyptian. It was little used In classi ! the Jar over the whole family of spiders bles! with Insomnia,” added the pert cal I.adn, an<l Is of rare occurrence In iiiid made them prisoner«. 11undrisls young lady. languages derived from the Latin. As have since viewed the mounter and Its K iiicetlon. a numeral It represented 250. offspring and all are puzzled. The body "These Indians who have been «lu “L" was a lion In the Egyptian hiero of the large spider la one ami a half cat«l at college seem quite like the glyphic, a figure fl In the l’henician, and Inches In length. The Ixidy Is black others, do they not?” alxiut Its present form In the Greek and mid Is supported by eight powerful legs "Except for their 'Rah! rah!' at each the Latin. It Is the most sonorous and each two Inches long The head la end of the war whoop, yes.” continuous the most purely consonant supplied with powerful looking Jaws, —tn sound of all our letters. As there from which two feelers half an Inch In Illeeted Hopes. are “three It’s" in land colloquialism, length protrude. The bendy eyes arv so there are three “La" ill nautical Jet black. phrase "lead, latitude and lookout" A <’lever Mehr me. It Is a conservative, changing little. An nmuHlng scene was witnessed re "M" Is an "ancient and honorable.” Its hieroglyphic equivalent, away back cently on one of the mall boat» running In Eg) pt was almost a flour de Ils in from France to England. The sea was the oval outline of a bird’s head a fleur rather rough. A young woman, pretty de Ils minus the central branch. As a mid nicely dressed, ap|H Hred to be and Roman numeral It denotes 1.000. For deiily taken very HI with aea alckneas merly the brand of "M” was Impressed She groaned and screamed In apparent on the person of one convicted of man agony for some little time. At length slaughter. In flagrant cases the brand n person who ap|M*ared to be a stranger was applied to the forehead, lu print to her approached and asked whether Ing It Is the square, the quadrate, the she would like to tnke n lozenge, which unit of computation In any laxly of lie guaranteed would ease her of her pain. He had often tried It, lie said, on Tommy Xnff Nfnn, Mum, the tx>y» type. “N"' Is ns old, and the value of Its l>e<>ple, and always with the moat mar all say that If I hamlle the stick In the character has been the same through veloua result«. The young lady de base Inali game this afternoon we ll b< nt the whole hlsto-y of Its use. The sign murred a little at first, but finally ac the Hilltop« 11 to 1. has no variety of sounds, and there Is cepted the offer. Never was cure so In His Mother I don't doubt It, but you no possible substitute. As a numeral atantaneoua. Hardly had she swal are going to stay at home this after its value Is W), which becomes Do.tStO lowed the lozenge when the fair pa noon and handle the stick for me. and when a line Is druwn starve the letter. tient was sitting up all smiles and or we'll boat th« carpet worse than that. “O" In the l’henician nlphalret repre derlng ham sandwiches of the stew ard H ■•««<■ h. sented a peculiarly ami to us- unpro Nome passengers were so struck with "But speech 1« what differentiate« nounceable ’ guttural. but the Greeks the Incident thnt they Inquired what made a vowel of it, though they chang waa the remedy that had such a won man from th« beast!" "Yea, »bowing how much less sense ed Its form to a square Instead of an derful result, and the gentleman, who. oval. It stood for 11 In the Roman nu as he said, was the agent for the sale of he haa. In the long run!” the loaengea, disposed of a considerable morals of medieval times. It Hid. “P" wa» evolved from the hiero number of tmxea of them at eight shil Grogan I made up my mind I glyphic age, and In all alphal>eU It has lings apiece. What was the surprise of wouldn't stand It any longer; so I Just stood for the one unvarying Bound. It the purchasers when they saw the my foot down. haa no varieties save that It Is silent young lady and her preserver go off put Tlmlllty (glancing at Grogan's No. 11) at the beginning of a few Greek word», arm In arm on the vessel reaching Eng aa psalm and pneumatic. It la 400 In land! The bozea contained common Ju — And that, of course, coveted the ground. Boston Transcript. medlev gl numerals, and an abbrevia jul»ee. tion for many things. U ithln Koan I«« Fllte<l l<> His Position. "Q" la an ancient also Aa a sign It (,'lubberly Hava you ever been so Nir Harry Poland, a British magis dmperately In love that you felt as if was abandoned In Greek. The Latin preserved IL though Its value was the trate noted for bls brilliancy. Is care you couldn't control it? same aa that of "k." In English, as In less In Ills dress. Onca his fsiully per- Castleton No. All the g'rl* I've been Latin. It la always followed by "u." It suaded him to go to Poole and order a In love with have been only moderately meant 500 In medieval Roman numer fashionably cut suit. To the chagrin of well off. the household Ntr Harry looked more als. Agslnet Vivisection. "K" looked like a capital "A" In the outlandish In the new clothes than In Mr Woodwad Your papa 1» such a Phenlclan In some language» It 1» used his old ones. Ills brother In law went a» a vowel. In Anglo fax on times "R,” to see Poole about It. “It 1s not my Joker. MI m Willln Why? If the Initial letter, wa* given such fault, sir,” the tailor assured him. Mr Woodwed Because, when I ask- force a» to need an "L" In expres»!ng ’’Every care was taken, but how could «I for your band be refused me, aay:ng It, and w aa rolled tn a double, ao that we fit a gentleman who would Insist the form survives In such »[veiling as upon l>elng measured sitting down?” be didn't want any mutilated memlter» hemorrhage, catarrh; but* now. “In And tlie only satisfaction that couhl In hla family Boston I’uat. many localities, even among the most Is* obtained from Nir Harry Poland No Itnuiit Ab«»nt It. ■ cultivated »peakers, no ’It’ Is ever real himself later on was the dry com Cltiz»*n I*o you believe the constitu ment: "Well, It'» my business, and not |y pn>nouu>ed at all. it waa *» aa a tion follows the flng. my man? numeral. Kir William Curtis, an emi yours I like to I* comfortable. I Mohlbw My constitution follow«! the nent but Illiterate lord mayor of lx>n- spend three parts of my life sitting flag to the Phlllpt»lu«*a and It's there don. »aid. In IKS», when asked for a down, anti I 1 •fer to t»e measured to." yet Chelsea Gazette. toast: “I «HI <’»• r*»u ,h* ,hr** R’*~ -New York Tribune. Fort an«. Hiring. Readlig and Rltbmetlc”; and T<M> Mlow. "And yon will not «mile upon me?” be was serious, too. Almost the last reminder of the ro faltered tbe Man. “fl” has lived from the tieginning. It “No," answered Fortune aad>/- "Fur looked like ’ w" In I'benlclan. It an mantic past, the prairie stagecoach. Is awers many demands and has many doomed Automobile« are to be built If I do I »ball get myself didiked by hes being too tbe w»:uen who bare refuaed to marry i values; was 7 lu the numerals, and la a f..r prairie travel, the • slow for modern travel. you!” comu»v»a abbrvvlatlom When Hsritvonv Are of No Use. The driver of the stage, which was rolling down the Rocky Mountains aa fast as six mules on the gallop could keep ahead of It. may have noticed that I was, writes a correspondent, a little nervous, for after a bit be soothingly said- "No use to grip that railing so mighty hard, stranger We shan't come to the danger p'int for half an hour ylt." “Thou It'« on ahead?” I queried. "Yea, three miles ahead, and I may say fur your lieneflt that bangin' on w on't do any partickler good.” “But 1 don't want to slide off.” “And you wou't. If anythin' goes It'll be mewls and coach ami the hull caboodle altogteh«*r. and as the drop Is plump 300 feet you won't have no use for arnica or sticking plaster after- warvl.” Boston Courier. To Pe Perfectly Frank. A gentleman who Is no longer young, ami who never was handsome. ask«*d bls son's child what he thought of him. The boy’s parents were present. Th« youngster made no reply. "Well, so you won’t tell me what you think of me? Why won’t you?” " 'Cause I don't want to get llck«*d,” replied the sprig of a rising genera tion. TH Bits. Knew Hi« P b . "Now, Tommy." sold the teacher, “If your father had ten one-dollar bills and your mother asked for half of them, how many would he have left?” “He'd still have the teu." repl **d th« wise child. Philadelphia Record. Ilia Pleasure Marred. Friend (calling) Did you have a good time the w cck you spent at the sea shore, Willie? Willi«* Boerum (gloomily)—W-Well, pretty good. Only mother wouldn't lei me go swimming until two hours aftei I at«* anything, so I couldn't very weJI eat things between meals.- Brooklyn Eagle. Vend silence. “Nothing from my poor husband?” said tho widow to the m«*dtum. "No, ma’am," was the reply; “nod even a message stating that the Are 1» out!"—Atlanta Constitution. To He Coualateni« Von Blumer—The doctor think» I ought to go ou a flailing trip. Mrs. Von Blumer But, of course, you don't believe him. Von Blumer Why not? Mrs. Von Blumer—Wi»ll, you didn't have any confidence In him when he told tin* I ought to go -Harper's Bazar. “Say, why don’t you wear yer hair In a psyche knot? Yer too old fer plats.” Medical Assistance« Specialist Your nerves are affected; you need exercise; walk to business every day. Nick Man I do walk to busluresevery 'lay. Npeelallst You do? Well, you ought to have more s«*use— that's what ails you overstrain. Now, behave yourself ratlonnlly ami ride every day—<10, please. -Chicago Record-Herald. How At»<»at it? "It's funny that you should be eo toll. Your brother, the artist, Is short. Isn’t he? " He (absently) Yea, usually. Feme Thins» Are Ihoncht Over. "You're a likely looking girl,” Mid Mrs Hiram Offen, who was questioning a greenhorn girl. "How were you train«! across the water?” ’’ 'Tis Jokin' ye are. mum. There does be no trains. I was shipped acron«.”— Philadelphia Press. T he Peat. She—You were a long time In tbe Philippine«« weren’t you? He Oil, yes. Ever »Ince the first time the war ended. A TeetiasonlaL "Dear Doctor: When I began using your hair medicine three mouths ago you assunsl me that my hair would not trouble me much longer. 1 take pleas ure la stating that you spoke the truth. Could you give me the address of a good wig maker?" Baltimore Ameri can. The Ki»«lna Him. "Wliat was that?" asked tbe old g«*n- tleman. suddenly appearing In the door way. ”1 I guess It was a kissing bug,” she answered hesitatingly, while the young man trl«l his best to look at ease. The old gentleman look«*d at them both shandy. “I>oos the kissing bug make people blush?” he demand«!. Chicago Post. Nrekin« ft»r Peoria. The history of p«*url seeking haa alsnit It so much "f the glamour of ro mance and possible galu that the dlffi- Ctiltl«« and risks of the quest are well- nigh forgotten. Men love a pursuit (Imt entails much danger am! touch knowledge of men and element«. Lang la-fore the lb>inan conquest men were hazarding the dangers of newly-dlaonv- ered rivers In s«*arch of the elusive gems, and one of the prime sttssus ‘or undertaking rt»e ezpedilion into Great Britain was to obtain tlie fair g'-ttled dewdrop« piereed by »unbeania which poets am! phlloeopher» “ *11 age» have made tbe embl—'» purity and worth and which -• «»"»“ wo“- en^,mu< h<H»ve- There U, scarce X a sacred lit— which peu-ls .Io not 1-ear reven nt no-an^g- «“*> n” wher* „.t favor have not t>een ts.ught by tbe ttrautlful. luatroua producta of tbe sea. -Uppincotfs Magazine. W liv au employment bureau la call«*! an Intelligence office Is an unsolvtai mystery.
