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About The Eugene weekly guard. (Eugene, Or.) 1899-1904 | View Entire Issue (Aug. 24, 1901)
ßragged-Down Feeizzig bold Lure for Duord«red Nerv«». "That eastern girl who is suffering from unstrung nerv.» made a nns* take when she tried to doctor ber* self. AVERAGE SPECIMEN IS GOOD unrefreshing sleep, dsspon- "What did -1„. take • I deal of a nuisance . "Diamond rings and anything else *ri tiine you were doing something, she could lay her hand» on.” tidnsy* were anciently called the Kanus Jntge Tells How and Why the 1 In vour case ‘*ieF are bolding the ïontha Get Tbcmselvea DUItknd— Don’t Blame Her. M***-’x driving you into serious trouble. Much Tenth in What He Sait -Con- VV by didn't »he graduate*” ‘She got mad at the examiner meuta, However, Are Too Drastic. * . rh the most direct, beneficial effect liititing. as she thought,, at h. r age Ae'*iJ kldnevs it contains the best and He asked her what great national That the college boj- is ofteu too ex ^..“»ub-tancesfor correcting and toning exent took place in 1860.” U'reiaut all who kuow him will admit, organs. but that he it is as much of a uuiaauce King Edward He» Many Gu«»t>. as Judge Frank Doster of the Kausai >s Cruity- A very noticeable circumstance is Supreme Court dix*lares some will _ . said ..yes ” Mis* T’rtH’ks went on, "Mr. the number of distinguished people__ question "Among other things," Templeton and 1 are to be married. political, official, diplomatic ami so the judge in a receu. newspaper arti- Why don’t you offer congratula cial—who have dined w ith his majes ' le, “I would reform the col.ege a.U ty during his visit to Windsor castle dent or kill him off. I kuock on him. I tion»- > “Oil. I 'e no grudge against Tem- This is eepecially remarkable becau-e, know we preteu I to dote on him aud the crusty old bach- during the last n ign, the late queen affect to believe that he is the hope aud pieton," replied . nmre often dined with her family tirst care of the State, but it's a lie. »lor. _________ alone in the small dining room called 'I e dou't. Nobodj but his mother the oak room. The king, however, does. From the time he tirst starts out Adaptation. • Snicker’s jokes are very thin,” has introduced the practice of having lo reuder 'Gallia est omuls dix isa m a gcxxi-sized dinner party every day. partes très' he becomes au insufferable eo,„plain, d Dinsmore. uui-auce. If at that stage of his ca ■•Pirlutps he makes them that way World to End Thia Year. reer his own gall eould be divided into fervour sjiecial Ix-netit,” suggested Tiiis is the recent decision of one of the d.isio parts lustcad of three aud he left Win terbottom. prominent societies of the world, but tlie exact day has not vet been fixed ill...... »nd with only oue of them the relief to "How s that?” "To enable you to see through w hile there are very few peojne w In. t,elie»e uiankiiul aud to himself would be iues till» preuictiou. there are thousand» oi timable, because au infinitesimal frac Others who not only believe, but know them.” that Hostetter's Stoniaeli Hitters 1» the tion of the whole of what lie has would Lest meilieine to cure dvsia-p-ia indiee-t- sutilce the needs of any ordinary mor Spring» of Mi»Conduct tir»». A»...» : » ; .. .. tin: . lion, constipation, biilioiTsnevs or liver tal. Jack. “You haven’t any manners, ami kidney troubles. A fair trial will cer- "Why do 1 say these hard things Whv didn’t you offer to escort that tainly convince you of its value. aboui him? 1 say it because he Is young lady home.' Very Blunt. self-iuqiortant. noisy, conceited, ignor ’ “Oh, 1 b»ve manners, all right, but I didn't have any street car fare.” "The editor is kicking about some ant of all practical wisdom, parts his of the jokes itlittle is turning in. hair iu the middle, flaunts Ills frater Safer on His Back. He says he believes Witlittle sits nity badge and school colors in an of fensive, challenging sort of way Iu ev Pinching-bug—Say, what makes down and grinds them out.” "I don't believe it. If lie was to erybody's face, and prauees upstreet you wear your fur overcoat in such I hot . weather? A I ’_ O grind them out they might have a yawping his ear splitting college yell to the fright aud disgust of all timid, Cateipillar— Oh, half the moth iwint to them.” sensitive folk within sound. I saw l<alls we get now are no good. him at the Twentieth Kansas recep She Couldn't. “Just walk this wav madam," said tion. a bigger man than Funston -big ger exon than Gen. Hughes—making the clerk who was bow-legged. "I’m—er—I’m very much afraid, more noise and taking up more room sir, I can’t,” blushinlgy replied the than the whole procession, elbowing ev- Tbi» »ignature is on every box ot the genuine erylxxly out of the way and drowning Laxative Bromo*Quinine Tablet, fair customer who wasn't. the voices of the orators and the music tb» remedy that cure* a cold In one day of the bands with Ills Idiotic ‘Hock Never Existed. chalk. Jay hawk; rah! rah! rah! Wash Juggles—Are his characters drawn Suntmrr Geography. burn, rah! Baker, hurrah!" or whatever frinil life'.' “Pa. what is a lake, anyway?” the Infernal Slwasli gibberish is. I Waggles—Of course not. He writes “A lake, Jimmie, is a large body of have seen somewhat of this world and dialect. water surrounded by men, women 1 think I have correctly sized up a and children in bathing suits.” good many people iu it, and 1 give It as TO CEKE A COI.D IN ONE DAT Take laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. All m.v mature and solemn Judgment,based An Exhaustive Trip. truggiits refund the mi'nev if it fails to cure. tipou a careful, unprejudiced compari E. W. Grove's signature isoli each box 20c son of the many classes of people who Harriet—Harry’s got home. cultivate the habit of making a holy Clara—Did lie have a good time? Hence the Term. Harriet—I guess so; he borrowed Clarence—Why do you say the show of themselves, that, with tlie ex ception to be hereafter noticed, the half a dollar to pay the hackman lx‘- wedding was patriotic? fore lie kissed any of us. Algernon—Well, the bride was red, average college student Is the most ob the groom was white and ner father, trusive and elephantine ass that fronts Those Print.rs. who had all the bills to pay, wus the grieved and frowning face of heav en. 1 was a college studeut once my “Well, that's the worst yet,” blue. self. "What's the matter?” A Conscience Document "Now, I am not objecting to what this "My magazine poem entitled ‘Baffled’ appears under the head of "That last cook sent us back a creature learns at school. It's what he 'Raffled. ’ doesn't learn that 1 am talking al>out. postal card.” "W hal | lie's lazy. He doesn't design himself A Sure Result. “She said on it that we’d find three for any of the usual work of mankind. "Say, old chap. CofTup and 1 have a of our best plates at the bottom of ■Nolxiily ever heard of a college student let we wish you to decide for us.” the pile stuck together with muci who was fitting himself for anything lage.” “No thanks.” but one of the learned professions, so "Why not? We’re both friends of called that is. oue of tht* professions yours. ” of learning how to live off the balance "Exactly. So what’s the use of of mankind, lie's going to be a law my making an enemy of one of you?” yer, a preacher, a doctor, an editor, an author, an orator, a statesman, and HOW'S TIII8. no doubting thought ever ruffles Ills serenely egotistic soul that when once .'e offer One Hundred Dollars Howard for any use of Catarrh that eau not bo cured by Hall's he vaults into the arena of affairs the Cst.rrl' <’ur-. li you haven't a regular, healthy movement of tbd F J. CHENEY A CO., Props., Toledo, O. bowel« every day, you re «lek or will be Keen youi things of this world will be speedily set W e the undersigned, hove known F. J. Cheney bowel« open, and be well Force, in the shape of to rights. physic or pill poison, is dangerous i’hs br tue past 15 years, and believe hint perfectly violent .ujoothest, easiest, most perfect way oi keeping lb« ton abl in all busin ss transaction * and fin PCw “But when he finally does land out jis clear aud clean is to take ancial able to carry out any obltgnGous made the inueh abused, long suffering world by taeir Urm. CANDY W ist A T ri *x. gets its revenge. The world Just trips Wholesale liruaelsts, Toledo, CATHARTIC him up aud rolls its big self over him WaLDiNO, K innan A M a - vis , V> nole.ale Drug dsts, Toledo U. and mashes the wind out of him and EsU'sCatarrh Cure is t ken n' rnally. ac'lng then picks him up and chucks him into tree yon the blood and m cous surfa.es or Ibeayst tu. Pri o Tic per bo le. ¡.J.d by aL a little 8x10 office, with cobwebs on «rug ists. Testimoni Is free. the celling and fly specks on tlie win IMll's Family PU1 r »h best. dows and two broken-leg chairs on the Farmer» Fight Over Laborer. floor and a dozen second hand books Pleasant, Palatable Potent. Taate Good Do Good In a wobbly old case with the glass Kansas City papers contain an ac Never Sicken. Weaken, or Gripe, life. ji)c Write broken out. ami, refusing to pay Ills count of three farmers living arrested tor free sample and booklet on health Address Sterling Retted.v < oapany, Chicago, loatraal, Maw York. 3:!ta board bill any longer, goes off und there while fighting over the pi'ses leaves liitn to learn wisdom from the sion of an idle man, whom each »anted for a farm hand. ant. "Nor have I any spite at the college How She Proves It. student. 1 only think he takes up too much nmiii and inakes too much noise “Maggie says she is a daughter of and costs too much money an I Is too tlie revoluiton. ” smart in the budding days of his ca “Can she prove it?” reer. If lie could only lx* Induced to "Sure. Her fc.ther runs a merry- subside somewhat, to practice a little go-round.” the modest habit of self effacement, go out and soak his head, turn an X- Pride of the Poor. ray upon Ills Inwards and see himself Mrs. McChane (triumphantly)—I as others see him, we could possibly •eeye are takiu’ in washin’again, endure him Instead of tilling up with Mrs. McProudee (whose husband wicke I wishes for his nssasslnatlon. had lost a paying job.)—Sure, it’s But he won’t.” only to amuse th’ children. They noisy college boy Hood’s Sarsaparilla BESTFORTHE BOWELS KEEP YOUR BLOOD GLEAN York Sun with the moat unpleasant re sults. The suggestion was, of course, rejected by the officials to whom it was made by the singer's friends, and l*rvs ideut I.oubet was so dtsgustisl by tlie affair that be refused to attend the performance. The tenor also declined to take part, as his suggestion that he would like the decoration was received with so little courtesy. The result of the matter was that be left Paris vow ing that he would never return. The feeling over the affair is such that lie will in all probability never be asked to sing at the opera under any circum stances. DEEDS RATHER THAN DREAMS. Dwllse of Imagination and Ila Moat Noticeable Keaulta. It will l>e difficult to Impress the com munity that humanity is greatly the loser by the divliue of Imagination. President Thwlng of Western Reserve University professed to regret this passing emotion in an address he made recently in the West, but It was no doubt largely a regret of the perfunc tory ortler. and one naturally to be ex pected from a man of letters. If we have in this practical age lost the pleasures of Imagination, we have through the immutable law of couipen aatlon gained greatly In realization, 'lliere may lie no modern mind callable of producing another “Faery Queen," but there are countless minds working for humanity's betterment and weav ing In place of the web of fancy the staunch though homely texture of en during benefit. The decline of so-called Imagination began with the decline of chivalry. It went out with the false Ideas of honor, with the vaunting» of bedizened men, with the bitter class distinctions, with the contempt for the profession of let ters and with the poorly cooked food and other wretched creature comforts of that period of hampered progress. In its place has arisen n practical method of thought In which there Is scant room for the dreamer of dreams. In Its place 1ms come a higher regard for humanity, a wider sphere for worn an, a new tenderness for childhood and a general lietterment all along the marching ranks of civilization. Imagination is a sweet and gracious quality, but Its decline leaves no void In a scheme of life that believes In deeds rather than In dreams. The world may la* too much with us, as old Wordsworth said, lint that was a poet's protest, and poetry Is declining, too.— Cleveland Plain Healer. CLUBS MADE UP OF FREAKS. Queer Association» of Queer Indivi.lu- als In r-eme Parts of Europe. There have been associations of all sorts of Individuals formed lit tills couu try, but none of them would liear com parison for freaklshness with some of Europe's clubs. At lloogstraelen, a small Belgian town, a baldheaded club, to secure admission to which a calvoua area of twenty one square centimeters, or eight and one quarters square Inches, is imperative, Ims lately been founded. Its antithesis exists In the Long Haired Club of Ghent, whose members must wear either a beard of thirty centi meters (one foot) or lmir of twenty cen timeters (eight Inches! In length. “Les loo Kilos," a Parisian club for which no one weighing less than 100 kilos (232 pounds) Is eligible. Is In striking con trast with "Les Fifty Kilos” of Mar seilles, to which entrance Is alone per mitted to such as are over 170 centi meters (5 feet 7 Inches) III height and under fifty kilos (UN pounds) In weight. For several years the president of this club was a Mr. Be, who, though nearly 6 feet, weighed less than ninety eight pounds. Two years ago, however, he took unto himself a wife, under whose solicitous care he so rapidly gained tiesli that in less than twelve months be was compelled to resign Ills membership. Berlin Isaists of a Big Mouth Club. In the clubroom Is kept a wooden bull ns large ns a medium sized orange which every candidate for ad mission Is required to Insert In Ills mouth before his mime cun go for bal lot. In the same city, too, there is a One Handed Club, composed only of such ns have suffered the loss of a hand. -rnXdTSHflCB (Merrill StrMl, Amesbury. Mass. TTr/a lettor should carry F»lth and Conviction to thoHoartJ ot all Sick Women. “ I suffered with inflammation and falling of the womb aud other dis agreeable female weaknesses. 1 had bad spells every two weeks that would last from eight to ten days aud would have to go to bed. 1 also had head ache and backache most of the time aud such bearing down pains I could hardly walk across the room at times I doctored nearly all the time for about two years and seetued to grow worse all the time until last Septemiier 1 was obliged to take my bed, aud the doctors thought an operation was the only thing that would help me, but this I refused to have done. "Then a friend advised me to try the Pinkham medicine, which 1 did, and after using the tirst bottle I began to improve. I t.»ik in all five bottles of Lydia E. Pinkham’s Blood Purifier, four boxes of l.vdia E. Pinkham's Dry Form Compound, three isixes of Liver Pills an<i used three packages of Sana tive Wash, and 1 am as well now as 1 ever was. 1 am more than thankful every day for mveure.” — M rs F rank C artkr , 3 Merrill st., Amesbury, Mass. brc»n-e ih« formula is plainly printed on every boule aho» Ins that it Is >inuJy Iron and Qul- When Willi« Got Home — uius in a tastele*» form No Curs. Ne ear- Me. "Mrs. Knox,” said the hostess nt The Giddy Thinja dinner, "your little boy doesn't seem to have much appetite.” Mr. Manhattan—I hear you subur "No, he doesn't; that'» a fact.” banite's go to luxl every night at 8. "Don’t be bashful, Willie.” urged Isolate, (of Lonelyville, indignant the hostess. "Won't you have ly)— It’s no such thing. Why, I some more of anything?" have an alarm clock to wake me up "No. ma'am," Willie replied; “I in the morining and can’t wind its filled up on cookies before we come, alarm up till the hour hand is past *J Lydia Í. Pin Mt am Madlplna O0* 'cause I heard ma tell pa that wo | o’clock, so we have to ait up that late wouldn't get much here.” every night except Saturdays. Bunneo Repartee. Strange Lady—What’s the price of the iron bedstead? healer—Twelve dollars, madam. Strange Lady—How much off if I pay cash? Dealer—Madam, if you don't pay cash the Is'drtead is not for sale. FARM MACHINERY AND SUPPLIES. Ensilage Cutter. Best and only perfect blower cut ler on the market. Mend for circular. Mitchell, Lewis A Hi aver Co. Portland, Ora. Th. Heat Pre.i-rlplloo for Molarla Chilla and Fever la a Itottleof lì rove’. Tsatelesa Chill Tonic. Ilia a Imply Iron and quinine In a taauleai furin. No Cure. No Pay. Price Me horrible Rtvtngt. Mr. Brittle—I’m going to bring Cailleigh home to dinner on Thurs day. Mrs. Brittle—Why, I thought you hated that fellow so. Besides, I'll have to cook the dinner on Thursday. Mr. Brittle—Yes, I know. ABSOLUTE SECURITY. JOHN POOLE, Portland. Oregon, Foot ot Morrison HlresL gg The Perfection ot Wall Plaster, will not fall off. even "ADAMANT LAND PLASTER though a leakage occur by the bursting o( water pipe«. Send ns your address and r*...... circular shiiwtiig what ottiers have gained by the use of ¡And Piaster. THE ADAMANT OO., Agent« wanted In every town. Foot of 14th street, SCHOOLS AND COLLEGES. Genuine Carter's Can give you the twat bargain« in Buggies, Plows, Boilers and Engine«, Windmills and Pumps ani (.tenera! Machinery. See us Iwlors buying. Brat poaMlble to build. Heat material. Brat pro portion Brat tin tati I.ighlwtt ninnine. Hrvrnty voara r t|»rl iriit-r. Mill tl KI.I*. I.KWH A NTAVKK <’<»., lai ami I'aylor Mia . Portland, Or a(5HOPSC0rTAC4OEMr^ »»OPTIAMO OHI Faundati IO1O A Hama Achaat for Bo fa Militar, and Manual Training Fall Tarnt Ogana »apt. 12, 1UO1 WrHa far lllvalrafad OMalagva Little Liver Pills. I Patdland, Orapan. ipn™: pension If BICKFORD. Washington, D. C*. thet will re ll eelve quick replies. B. .»th N. II Vol« Staff 20tb Corps. Froeeoutiur claims since 1«7*. Summer Resolutions «■“ Keeley Cure Bure relief fiom liquor, opium and to bacca habite. Bend for particulars to Kitliy Istituti, Ki"UnM Mutt Bear Signatura of St. Helen's Hall PORT LAMO. ORFGOM. t ll.inr.lli.» anil llsy School for Girl». Ilu » Nornal KIndt-igaiten Tialnins Impart ment. ahl.-li will have ■ venerate revldeni’e fur V iinli-raarti-n clavvi-v this Fall, the Itoarillns Department proeMss ■ el..... rfnl end well er rsniteil liotne for yonne ladles. For Cslalogu» or other i nformatlon appl r to MISS KI.KANOK TF.BBKTTH, Frlnrlpal. Saa F»c-Slmll» Wr»pp»r Halaw. ‘ carter ' s Just So. Little Elmer (who has an inquir ing mind)—Papa, what is timine»»? Prof. Broadhead.—The exercise of will power, my sou. Little Elcnier—Well, sir, what is obstinacy? I’roff. Broadhead.—The exercise of won’t power, my son. ffrow« th. Oouoit ami TVorAa Off tha OafO. tsiiattr» Hromo-qulnlns Tsblsts rur» scold la ■ iu» day. No cure, No Bay. Prl< » '¿b c»ota Two Kmart Women. Mother (anxiously)—I am told tliat your husband plays poker every night at the club- plays for money, too. Married Daughter—That’s all right, lie gives me all his winnings---- ” “What? Do you---- ” "And he always plays with Mr. Next- door.” “What difference can that make.” »ants the windies covered with steam, ‘‘.Mrs. Nextiloor makes her husband TAMAGNO GETS A REBUFF. they can make pictures on thim. give her his winnings, too, and tlx n she Trouble Made for Him In Parle by Hi. gives the money to tne, aud I band her Propensity to Drive Bar «a In». what my husband won from hers, and Ernesto Tamagno, like many other so we both have about twice as much distinguished singers. Is noted for his money as we could get out of them oth prudence In financial matters, and dur erwise.”—New York Weekly. ing bls stay In this country many aioua Literary Curiosities. Illg Stories were told of bls small econ The royal library at Windsor Castle omies. which were remarkable In the ¡sons in i case of an artist who has always re contains als>ut ltat.taio volumes, and Ihf I. 1 „re forced out through the pores of the skjn, ceived enormous compensation for bla among them are many llterury curio*», Causing intense redness, burning an ! itching. So tcmbl: f A unique Caxton on vellum, the Bible services* “ the itching at times, especially when the body is ov'r* * which Charles I. took with him to the “rated, that the almost distracted sufferer fee.» tliat u. That his spirit for bargaining Is not scaffold, the same monarch's copy of cou.d tear the skin to pieces, and that he must scratch or altogether conflnei) to money matters Shakspvare. and an original copy of go craxy. He knows from experience th_t this only has recently been shown in a fashion brakes matters worse, but, made desperate by the terri.>.e «zr,,ft. There ‘“The Faery Queen” are among Wind that has put the tenor into an embar fotnnag and itching, be is for the time being mdiffe««t to sor Castle's literary treasures. Tlie •re several forms of Eczema, the moi t, or ,wc<’P,n«f LS.'TTVj”lniike rassing position In I'arls. He went King has taken a keen Interest In the la.es Which disclian-e a watcrv sticky fia i, which dries and pee., olt in tr.n .ize there on bis way to London, where he »^es. ¿7^s theSa'rgeVt times that large se.bs or doings of contemporary writers, and a Is singing at Covent Garden, to take curious little bobby has Is-en the col *r-both painful and troublesome, an 1 n. t e uuy re’no'e* '. Ucis the head j,art In the jierformance at the opera î31 «ore. are symptoms of Eczema. The dry form usuady^«acks Ue tea 1 '■ — -------- 1 of lection of pen nibs used by them. In It retirement kands and feet the skin, becoming hard and rough, often cr^kmg open aaa given In honor of * the an actress of rnelo are Included a Browning nib, a Hardy Mme. Lkurent, t-eedmg, and attended with much itching Eczema bl£d7^1 l'-al been for several years nib and nibs of other distinctions. drama w ho has applications, while soothing ®r- I*. Marnn. Escondido, San Diego County, the orphanage for the A Remarkable Family. and cooling, and may to some at the bead of ~»- • write» : •• My body broke out with s rs»h Count E. de Keratry Informs the •r eruption wh.ch in epite of all effort» to cure extent relieve the inflamma children of French actors and has Ix-en •oat.uaod to t t w r»o. Tbs iUhlnJ, e prclal.y tion and itching, cannot decorated by the government for her Paris Matin 'hat bis grandfather was t-trbt, Wi» simp;/ tcrribls; it would almost be considered cures, because efforts in this field with the crow of the born In 1HDR. and bls father In 176U. »•»appear at time», only to return won» than external .emed;es do Uot Ia-gton of Honor. be himself tx-ing born In 1X32. no that •yer. I etd tried many highly rscommsnded reach conatitutional or blocni Fr7P»rr.tlon» without benefit, end hearing cf 8. All the noted French actor» and »Ing three generations have live*! In tlie diseases. Salves, ointment»» 0- det^rmtned to give it a fair trial, and was powders, loùonx and s .aps do era were delighted to take |>art. Even 17tb. l«th. llttb and ifltth centurlM. yuxprcsatbly del.ghtcd when a few bottles »-red me entirely, removing every blemiah and more harrq than g yd. ty Mme. l’attl. who was In I’aria when The Keratry family numtier» only 12 F-tapla from my body. X shall not fail to rwcom- smearing o', er and sea.mg up the plan was proponed, »»Id »he would generations from 12D7 to the preaent ®aad 8. £. 8. whenever an opportunity occurs. ________ the pores of __ the skin, thus take the role of Juliette iu the third act time, an average of two generation» to forcing the poison back into the blood. S. S. S. satidotaaad neitrmixes ¿e »<.“1 of Gounod » opera. Signor Ti magno a century. po-jons and drive» out of the circulation all impuntte» and h zmor», ar 1 L- ! •• honor of • Pretty J«|>«nr»r < u«torn. Mood that is carried to the diseased skin quickly Mfoys the in? rm--. □. Mme. Ijiurent. S the dogged up pore*, and the »a become«*' ‘tatniooChan' r ■ Tbe Jap*in*’»*' bare a < u»»toin of crlr* But It appear» that bin pi a anion for Proper functx ni. To be rid cf Eczema you must fir>t punty and t--- bratlng the blosaoinlng of the fruit bargaining proved too »troug for hlrn nothing «o furely and effectually doe« t--4“ «kin <’^sea*e«. treee by a general holiday. ^purely v.getable blood punfier Send for cur book on blood.arH»kj> ard he .-ould not bring bitnaeif to give .ometblng for nothing Ko be d« Ided ’ * our phvMcuuu for any informau» 4 at ! a ST a LLA. for every humorist there 1» In the and Uvk Uce. THC SWIFT SPEUFK» GO., ATLANTA UA. that a» It would I»- out of the question wurM there are at least a thousand wo to expect payment In m.mey on »tu h an men w ho are unable tu appreciate tile nrra»ion. be would »Uggest the Mglon jokes -_______ appropriate reward for I« bmt ti’wa te enm Cater* ■ ‘ H II..w we long for another < haute to RroncMt « and Conwumpt n- r —t « ”Mih *yrnp. Tw**'«-*1 Lgl Our reraed-. I ta O’» ___ Wrh ara the New < leau the mud off out clutbe»; r. O Bo» »71. SUMMER ’SUFFERED THREE TEARS. CATARRH OF STOMACH. Ha S«ll> Both Kind». Vp on Fourth avenue there is a storekee|»T who likes to be right. Over his widnow is the sign "Bird cages and aquariums.” In the win Miss Evelyn Morse writes from 651 dow another sign reads "Bird cages Adams street, Minnea|iolis, .Minn., and aquaria. ” The storekeejx-r as follows: come» out sometimes, looks over the "I suffered for nearly three years signs and chuckles as if having with catarrh of the stomach which no medicine seemed dodged a difficult problem. to relieve, until a friend advised me A Coincidence. to try Peruna. "I suppose it is only a coincidence?” Although skepti said the young man who is anxious "III cal, I tried it,and to learn. found it hel|>ed "What is?” inquired the exjx-ri- me within the enced friend. tirst week. I "The fact that most sensational kept taking it for reformers have been men who were Miss Evelyn Morse three months,and so rich they didn't need any am pleased to say t hat it cured me money, or so poor they had lost entirely, and I have had no sympt hope of getting any." oms of its return. I am only too glad to recommend it."—Evelyn Cozy Comtrs in th« Hom«. Morse. Church—Have you a cozy corner in Address Dr. Hartman, President of your house? The Hartman Sanitarium, Columbus, Gotham—Oh, yea; tny wife has ar I>hio, for free advice. ranged two of them. "You must enjoy them after a hard Hide Bound. days work?” "Enjoy nothing! The cat has one Aacum—Wliat are you so down on and my wife's dog occupies the other. ” the English for? Cassidy—Why shouldn’t 1? Iax>k Fortified. at the stories they do lx* tollin' about Mrs. Hatterson—I'm going to meet thim. Ascum—Yes, but they tell stories my husband at 1 o’clock to select some divorations for the drawing alxmt the Irish, too, which you say room. are lies. Cassidy—Aye, but all the lies they Mrs. Clatternon—What do you want him with you for? tell about the English are true. "Well, in case they don’t turn out VOU KNOW Wil t) »Of AKE TAKIXO right I can say it’s his fault," » hrs von Inks Grov»'s Tuirlru Chill Tonis, .U»»,l» CWWBVW SV Mff«. JOME*- FL£SH GROWER. 1 CURE SICK HEADACHE. Palo. 02.00. Thl» le tht fennlne. Il lncr«MW- •n flMh on afiy pari of ih* body, órvel ’i« lo any deltir4M 1 alzo and inaura round,plump fat a and BPt-k. Krii iiVra all bla* k brada, tan frrfklr«, nimplr«, fimi» wormn, and makm Ihr akin «ofì and rdilla. Wrlla for aar'ita* tarimi BfKH. IC. JBNFH Er <>U.V Offi.ei GlP-eJl lutar Ucaau Bldg., CUIcatfo, 11L m . v, a. o. a*. .14-iaau lost Opportunity. "And didn't you hear of it?” in quired Mrs. Gabble. "Not one word.” "Why, I've known it for a week, so 1 Hiip|Mis«xl every Issly had heart! of it.” I am sure Pino's Curs for Consiimption saved my Ilfs ihres years ago Ms* T ros . K omsins . Maple street, Norwich, N \ . Feb. 17, 1800. Muht Bt Cheaper. Tess—So he jilted her, eh? That must have made her feel cheap. Jess—Not so cheap as he might wish. She computes the damage to her heart ut «25, (JOO. Tl.»y Motor Fail. CASTORIA jnviNvxxSkN Th«- Kind You Have Always Bought luiw home the xlgiiu- ture of Chan. II. ITeti licr, anti has been mad«* under his per-oital -tiperx i-ioti for over ilOjcarx. Allow BOOM io dc«’«*ive you in this. Counterfeits, Imitations and " Jii«t-iis-g<H><l" arc but Experiments, and endatigcr the health of Children —Experience against Exp«Timcnt. Almo«! nrvi-r Caaesrotsours so larve a par- <miac- that ih.y're susrant.-cd tn cure chrou. ic cotolipaUon or tnotivy refunded, brugguu, lOc. AV, JSc. Too Much CritKitm. “I bear your husband is ill, Mrs. Jones. ” “Yes’tim.” "Nothing serious or critical, I h<»|«*?” "Critical? I should say he were, He ain't satisfied with nothin” he ain't.” What is CASTORIA Castoria is a harmless substitute for Castor Oil, Pare goric, lirops ami Noothing Myrupw. It in Pleasant. It contains neither Opium. Morphine nor other Narcotic substance. Its age is its guarantee. It destroys Worms ami allays Fcverishnc»«. It «'tires Iliarrh.ea ami liitid Colic. It relieves Teething Troubles, inns Constipation and Flatulency. It assimilates the l'o«>d, regulates the Stoma* h and Bowels, giving healthy ami natural sleep. The Children's I'anm-ea Th«* Mother’s F'rieml. The Kind You Have Always Bought Bear« tho Signature of Simplt Whtn You Knsw. "I wan up in the mill district today. Frightfully noisy up there.” "That’s right. I've got a friend who Ine» up there. He can't hear himself talk in his house.” "My! Boiler shop next <1<x>r?” "No, He’s deaf and dumb.” Mothers «ill find Mrs Winslow'» Booth ing syrup the heal reniady to use tor their children during th» teething period. A Mattse of Policy. In Use For O/er 30 Years. Tw« «iRtto« tv Buatur •?•««?. new »••• orp. ‘‘See here, Cassidy,” said De Kan ter, "1 caught one of your IrartenderS today putting water in the whisky.” “Well, sor.” Cassidy replied, "ys must understand that we have to make some concessions to the temper ance people'”