The Eugene weekly guard., June 16, 1900, Image 7

Ziaur ThoaJrr and lUlmi»»
BATURDAY
M KENZIE FERR\ BRIDGE AND
ROAD.
of any light that may »»•cur, in the
•nd.
lleo trusts to diplomacy
<
rather than war io curb < overween-
iog Russian ambition. Ruseia’a
ra»id appropriati m and aseimils-
lion nf Astati • territory invy well
alarm the rest of Europe.
Once the Asiatic hordes are
_ ___ _____
_ _ ____ ___
_
placed
under _ subjection
and ____
control
despotism it« force
W()Ul(j be such that it could easily
crush any European power with
which war might be waged.
A young mun residing in the north-
eru section of the city had been calling
for some time on a young woman, in
fact he thoroughly enjoyed the com­
pany of her whole family Oue evening
he ailed and of tbe father who an
»wered bls ring be made his usual tn
luiry, "Are the folks In?” He was an
twered in the affirmative and asked to
“step iu.”
He was ushered into the parlor, uud
tfter t..e old gentleman bad engaged in
conversation with him for about a
quarter of an hour he excused himself,
went out. and the eldest sou next enter­
ed and entertained the young man for
■ bout a quarter of an hour. Then an­
other brother and sister, and the young
were somewhat
man's suspicions
xroused when the mother took her
turn A little sister came next, foliow-
I i-d in tun.3 by the family cat, which
rubbed Itself against tbe young man’s
newly pressed trousers.
lite gave a sigh of relief when, after
an hour si>eut In misery, his sweet­
heart made her ap|>earance. He is-ggi-d
of her to "put him next” to the Joke,
and tietween her bursts of laughter she
Informed him that “since be was try-
| Ing to court tbe whole family papa
thought they bad best take turns.”
It is unnecessary to say that he failed
to see tbe joke and has ceased his at­
tentions.- Reading Eagle.
At the contract price of 110,600,
exclusive of approach»«, the people
of Laue county will sustain tbe
action of the com inn» ¡oners court
in the building of a bndg* »' roes
th» McKenzie riWe «st tb> lien*
dridfca’ ferrf ait*
CHINESE DEVIL WORSHIP.
But afiifftion for ti® i*I»OV*>
_
©
i»«nt of the McK«nzi®
r«W»l
Chinese soldiers have a very
should not cease. I ne few o$ilgff of convenient excuse for refusing to
very bad r »ad should have the fight the ‘ Boxer” insurgents. They
attention of Lino county authori- allege that the “Boxers” are in
ties at once. Th’’ road »hould be league with the devil and wheJB hit
repaired tbi« summer.
by bullets have been seen to run
Six million feet of saxlog« are away. Tn it would be only natural,
coming down the McKenzie at the but the Chinees soldier« afreet to
present time.
Every year for see the sa'anir influence on the
many years tn 'be future will wit— side of the opjsieition, and their
ne»« great leati« and strides in the i penchant for running away befor»
Mleknamed by Arcbltecl«.
increase of the logging industry on ' the fight is hardly on is greatly , These young architects are merciless
that river. Quartz nills will make promoted by the t»elief that the , chaps when they are discussing the
work of some one else. The spire of
the air resonant with the pounding devil is on the other side.
oue of the new churches In Bostou al­
of hundreds of iron stamps, crush- i There is reason for their actions. ways attracts my attention. Away
ing the rock to powder and releas­ The Oriental believes in a persona) I up aloft there are angels, gracefully
poised, each with a trumpet at mouth
ing the pre ious yellow metal. Tbe devil, and seeks to gain his good und
leaning far out ou the air tliat
present road, over which suppliee office», or rather lack of bad ones swims around Mietn. I have admired
must be hauled, is in shameful con- through propilia'ory < fiTerings and tliat group most mightily. I was com­
menting iu that stralu In tlie bearing
dilion, not as a whole but at a few worh|1jp Tbev are very willing to of a Boston architect.
separated points, With the rap- I gel the devil on their »ide, at lea«l; “Of what church are you speaking?”
idly increasing traffic another to secure bis g aid will and non* queried tlie architect.
1 told him.
winter will find the road practically interference, But they will not “Oh. ye«,” said he carelessly, “the
impassable should repairs not be fight against him.
Church of the Holy Beanblowers,
That's w hat comes of lack of sense of
made.
Those trumps are too
proportion.
Oregonian: *'* * * It is on slender.”
this broad question of holding these And now I can no longer admire that
group on the spire, I stri ve
SOME OREGON WEATHER new places into which the Hig has seraphic
been carried that the people o to think of angels, nnd I fetch up by
REPORTS.
Oregon have voted in the ailirio- thinking of beanblowers.
And another church In Boston is in
ative ”
architects* terms the “Church of tlie
The Oregonian of June 7 gave
The returns do not show it. They Holy Thermometer” on account of
the weather forecast for the day:
«how that the Eastern Oregon some decoration meant to lie imixising.
“T oday ’« W eatheh .—Fair and «beep men have gone over rmdiiy And another Is the "Church of the
Kindergarten Steeples”—for there is
warmer; northerly wind«.”
The one big spire surrounded by lots of lit­
to the Republican party,
And directly below the above, at wool tar.IF caught them, The vote tle kid spires—“waiting to grow say
the head of the editorial column, it cast in VV eBtern Oregon, the first the architectural Philistines.—I.ewls-
made note of a biting political congre«eional district, in about ton ■lournal.
I
froBt in till Multnomah county normal.
Look Before You Leap.
Republican legislative potato patch:
Once upon a time there was a young
man who believed what the books said.
“Three or four men cannot own
He left tbe farm and came to the
a political party, treat it as a
The farmers of Oregon were taxed great
to make bis fortune and to
property and do »s they please $90,000 by thi« beneficent govern-1 climb city
the ladder of fame. The lxH>ks
with it.”
ment at Portland tbe other dav for) said a great deal about tlie ladder of
And thus coal« of lire are heaped the simple privilege of beine fame, so tbe young man exercised him­
self on copybook morals and poor Rich-
upon the heads of the enemy.
allowed t't buy Hacks in which to aril’s almanac In order to be able to
ship their wheat. That was the cliin hiuiseif up a round at a time.
He was especially strong on run­
amount of duty paid the custom away
horses, and one day, to his grati­
A DESERVED COMPLIMENT. bouse on a cargo ol grain sack».
fication. he saw a mad steed ¡dunging
City Superintendent E 1> Ressler,
who hae brought the Eugene public
school« to their preBent high »tate
of efficiency and successfully in­
augurated the High school, has
lieen reelected. It is a deserved
and fitting compliment to tbe in
telligent direction of modern school
methods, rare executive anility and
unflagging zeal which nas ch irac
terized the work ol Professor Res»
ler with our schools.
The public schools of Eugene
the
should lie the l»'st in
and the High s'hool
state,
preparatory
or
a
thorough
training school for the University
of Oregon.
Under the present
management thia is being accom­
plished far in excess of the antici­
pations of a few years ago. The
(»lard of directors, Messrs J II Me-
Clung. S B Eakin and E Schwarz-
Bchild, are building wisely and well.
The Miss »on governor has heard
from a crank. Si Louis i« under­
going a labor trouble, and the crank
writoe the governor that unless he
call« out tne militia to overcome
the striker’ b> will be »hot. Official
pre'ertneut is n >t without draw*
t»ac a eve <’ >wn in MigHour,
Tne
• >
ir een e .1 that the
Eng- ne »awmill will be rebuilt is
g > •<! iv
file In w -He so ured,
at tlie lo*er • ii • ol S inner’» Butte,
is an ex> elleiP • e b>mg convenient
tu the citt, ai d safe iroiu loss of
log- through h'gh water.
School 8uperiutend«nt Miller
seule» down in hi« official eeat with
the satisfactory knowledge that by
tlie grace >t the last Oregon legisla-
ture his term of office commencing
July 2nd will continue lour years.
down the crowded stree'
He could
not see any fainting maiden attached,
but still he knew this was his oppor­
tunity. He sprang for the bridle, but
hit tlie front wheel instead and was
projected with violence into the gut­
ter. Six months later, when he came
out of the hospital, he was sent to tlie
Home For the Feebleminded for try­
ing to stop n fire marshal iu the per­
formance of his duty.
Moral—Get your opportunities label­
ed. Dartmouth Literary Monthly.
Rwakln'« Cellar«.
A prophet Indeed has no honor in ills
own couutry. An English gentleman
who tiad gone to Brautwood on an out­
ing tour, finding himself Iu need of
books In order to ts-gulle a lieavy hour
or two, stepiK'd Into a bookstore of
lluskiu's village and asked tlie lady at­
tendant If she had any of tlie thinker's
books.
“Yes," »lie replied. “There
were some, but they were uot often
asked for."
Having obtalued the book lie desired,
tie asked her what ahe thought of the
great critic and teacher. Her Ideas of
Huskin'» |>erHoiiallty were very vague,
however, and she excused her igno­
rance ou the ground that the people
about there did uot seem to trouble
much aliout him. As for herself, she
only knew him as “the old gentleman
who only had a chan collar once n
week ”
Ashland, certainly, is tbe home
of the "j itiers.” A gentleman who
>took the pains to tuümorate the
BISH. \LBERT \ND----- ?
| Iraternal and beneficial secret
Pat's Happy Wish
societies of that town report's a lilt Judge- So the prisoner hit you OG>
Frjm Haleru Journal X K«yw.
the bead with a brick, did he?
A strange political circumstance of twenty-three.
McGinty—Via, yer honor.
lias developed in Salem tbe past
Judge—But It seems be didn't quite
yeaj, which will open the eyes of' Ganada has a spoilt beef Mffff&l, kill you. anyway.
many thoughtful persons, owing to charges being made in the House McGinty—No, bad ’ees» to him, but
the f«£t that it is so entirely at ol Commons that a spurious article it's wlsbln he had Ol do be.
Judge—Why do you wish that?
variance with what the professional WAS supplied to the troops instead
McGinty—Begory. thin Ol would
politicians have been everlastingly Of the genuine which the contract have seen the schoundrel hanged for
reiterating and insisting upon.1
. ”
murtherl—Chicago News.
Notwithstanding the fact that the oaUw* *°r.
great newspapers and hire«i orators ■ Grain crop« promise abundant
Ataylas *< Home.
of the Republican party have con- ■
A lady residing In North Columbus
stautly said and still say that yields throughout Lane county. meeting a girl the other day who had
every man who has a dollar is and And the price of wheat ie advanc­ lately been In her service inquire«!:
"Well. Mary, where do you live
must be opposed to Bryan for pres­ ing. It looks as it the grower
ident, the three Salem bankers, would get a profitable figure for bit now?" s
"Please, ma'am. I don’t live no-
who in 1S96 were opposed to Bryan, wheat.
where.” rejoined the glrk "I'm mar-
are thia year for him These bank­
rled."—Indianapolis Journal.
ers have dollars of their own and of
Rio Janeiro, Brazil, is afHisted
other people, ami they are not
Th« American Bible society circu
with a plague. Of eighty-eight late»
afraid of Bryan.”
the Scriptures In 9rt tongues. ®e
case« twenty-six proved fatal. The »Ide» our own »peech; 28 European. :«•
United Stat.'« naval squadron Asiatic. 8 Oceanic. 9 African. 9 Ameri­
RUSSIAN AMBITION
can Indian and 3 South American Ian
stationed there sailed south.
guagn» and dialects.
Great Britain will try to prevent
Brooklyn did the grand thing
wa?t betw^fii Russia and Japan, with Sunday school parade« ye«ter*
Diplomatic old Johnny Bull is day. Altogether sixty thousand
aware that Russia will get the better children were in line.
“Ill fix ’em ” »aid a Capitol Hill eitl
Sen when he got h - g->- dl a couple of
months ago. “Nine dollar» uud eighty
cents, hey. when we’ve been out every
•
night with the exception of two or
three for the past mouth! I 11 move,
that’s all. at the end of the mouth, but
If I don't make that gas meter of mine
work overtime between now mid tlie
day I move It'll be because I run out
of matches, that’s all! I'll eat up about
|4o worth of gas an ! then let the darn
ed gas company k**«p the $5 I ve got on
deposit!"
So f’om that evening on as soon as i
twilight fell the Capitol Hill man made
a tour of the bouse and lit every jet
from cellar to garret.
"I’ll teach ’em to bunko folks!" he
nabl to himself savagely as be started
all the burners a-golng.
Along tpvard the end of the month
he and his wife picked out another
bouse and made arrangements for mov­
ing. The Capitol Hill man was de­
lighted when the gas bill read $29.60.
"Thia Is one time they won't gffuge
me!” he shouted exultantly as he danc­
ed around with the bill in bls band.
Three days before the day set for
moving his wife was taken 111, and of
course the moving hail to be declared
off She is only now convalescing. The
Capitol Hill man paid the $29.60, ami
his friends are now telling him the
story alsjut the man who robbed his
own trunk.—Washington I’ost.
Danny Lied.
Danny, who is an errand boy In a
broker's office, got a Job in the same
office for his chum Harry. Duany set
himself the task of making Harry ap-
¡»•ar to the best advantage during the
probationary period of Ills Job, and he
found it necessary sometimes to use
menus tliat were only Justified by tlie
end.
Every afternoou Danny hud to run
with messages from one of the eX-
changes to tlie office, a dlstarce of half
a mile. When Harry came. Danny had
to “break him In” to do tills. The first
day Unit he made tlie trip from the
exebauge Harry staggered into tlie of­
fice. gasping, with his eyes starting
from ills head. For a moment he
couldn't speak. Tlie broker looked at
him Iu astonishment nnd said:
“You ran pretty fast, didn't you?
How long dlil It take?”
“Four minutes and 17 seconds,” Har­
ry panted, looking at the clock.
"That's pretty good time,” said tlie
broker.
“No, sir,” said Harry; "not very
good. Danny says he Joes It every
day In a minute and a quarter.”—New
York Commercial Advertiser.
Avenged the Slight.
A rich Prussian banker wir had
bought Ills title of “von” by jome
means or other managed to squeeze
his son Into a regiment of the guards.
Once admitted, he was of course treat­
ed by tlie other ottieers as one of them­
selves. One day the bnnker gave a
splendid dinner, to which lie invited
through bls son all the ottieers of tlie
regiment save one. a very nice fellow,
who, however, was not noble, having
no aristocratic "von” prefixed to bis
name.
All accepted the invitation, perfectly
unconscious that one of their number
had been so badly treated. When, how­
ever. they took their seats nt the tnble,
tlie absence of their comrade was im­
mediately noticed. Some one remark­
ed the fact to tlie host, who said In n
loud voice. "All. yon see, we are going
to be entre nous tonight, a really se­
lect party, you know.”
"Then we must not disturb you,”
said tlie seuior officer present, rising
from his chair ami one after another
tlie guardsmen solemnly tiled out of
the room, thus amply avenging the
slight to which an officer of their regi­
ment had been subjected.
Gnn Over the Telephone.
A lady of tlie West village decided to
have a telephone placed iu her house.
At alMiut the same time she also decid­
ed to have a gas range put in. After a
family consultation she instructed her
daughter to order tlie telephone. In
the conversation laitli the telephone
and gas range liad been spoken of, nnd
the daughter apparently became some
what confused, as will be seen by tlie
following letter which she wrote or­
derlug the telephone: “Dear Sir—We
hate decided to have a telephon e plac­
ed in tlie bouse, l'lease give it your
Immediate attention. The house is
not piped for gas. but the street is.”—
Winsted (Conn.> Citizen.
Espaaalv« Invitation,
Mother—Was your aunt glad to see
you and Tommy and Frankie and
Fred?
Johnny—Yes. tna'am.
Mother—Did she Invite you to call
again?
Johnny—Yes. and she told us to bring
you and papa and Susie and the dog
next time.—Harlem Life.
lA iihnnt r < onntry.
Fuddy—Bonder says he does not con-
•liler himself an American or an Eng-
lishman or anything else. He regards
himself as a citizen of the world.
Duddy—I see He 1» a foreigner in
whatever country he fiuds himself.—
Boston Transcript.
"Late one night aowe year» ago in g
«rmtera town.'' »aid an old telegraph
operator, '1 received a tne^ago wbi ,
-cad. If you wish to see your broth, r
»live, you will have to come lmtue, i-
itely.’ TMB message came from San
Francisco and was addressed to an ui,j
man who lived across the street from
the station, so I put on my hat and
went over and delivered It, seeing that
t was Important that lie shouli^hav,. it
*t once.
"The old man caught the train that
¡eft at midnight, ami while he was buy­
ing his ticket he told me that the mes-
lage refer eel to his brother who had
left home 20 years before and from
s horn he had heard nothing during all
that time.
"The next night a party called and
isked if there were any messages for
aim, giving the same name as the old
oian who had left the night before. He
must have noticed that I looked at him
rather blankly, for he went on to ex.
plain that be had a brother in Califor­
nia who was sick and that he was anx­
ious to hear from him.
“Well, It turned out that the mes­
sage that I had received the night be­
fore was Intended for him. He was a
stranger In the town and chanced to
bear the same name as the old man
whom I had sent on a wild goose chase
across the continent. Fortunately for
me I was transferred to another town
before the old man got back. That is
all there is to the story except that It is
Longevity of w hp.l«-».
Some light was thrown upon the sub­ I true.”--Detroit Free Press.
ject of the vitality of whales by finding
Sixteenth Century Apple«.
one of these animals in Bering sea in
Apples be so divers of form and sub­
1890 with a "toggle'’ harpoon head in
its body bearing the mark of the Amer­ stance that it were infinite to describe
ican whaler Montezuma. That vessel them aU. Some consist more of alre
was engaged in w haling in Bering sea then water, as sour puffs called Mala
about ten years, but not later than pulmonea; others more of water then
1854. She was afterward sold to the wind, as sour Castaras and I'ome wa­
government and was sunk in Charles­ ters. To be short, all apples may bo
ton harbor during the civil war to serve sorted Into three kinds, sweet, souro
as an obstruction. Hence it is estimat­ and unsavory. Sweet apples ease the
ed the whale must have carried the cough, quench thirst, cure melancholly,
comfort the heart and head, especially
harpoon not less than 36 years.
In connection with this fact William If they be fragrant and odoriferous,
H. Dall gives an account in The Na­ and also give a laudable nourishment.
tional Geographic Magazine of a dis­ Soure apples binder spitting, straiten
cussion with Captain E. F. Herendeen the brest, gripe and hurt the stomach,
of the United States National museum encrease phlegm and weaken memory.
Sweet apples are to be eaten at the
of cases of whales that have been sup­
posed to have made their way from beginning of meat, but soure and tart
Greenland waters to Bering strait and apples at the latter end. All apples are
to have been identified by the harpoons worst raw, and best baked or preserv­
they carried. While it is very likely ed.
Philip of Macedonia and Alexander,
that the whale really makes the pas­
sage an uncertainty must always be his son, from whome perhaps a curious
allowed, for ships were often chang­ and skilful herald may derive our Lan­
ing ownership, and their tools were cashire men, were called Pbilomeli ap­
sold and put on board of other vessels, ple lovers tiecause they were never
and harpoon irous were sometimes giv­ without apples in their pockets. Yea.
en or traded to Eskimos. It therefore all Macedonians, his countrymen, did
becomes possible that the animal was so love them that having ueer Babylon
struck with a secondhand iron.—Popu­ surprised a fruiterer’s boy they strived
lar Science.
for It that many were drowned.—Dr.
Thomas Moffett in 1575.
Tli. reason why tbe mechanism fur
waking tbe
that
rval‘"“L0
h »lay are uever seen by the audience
U lAMause the illusion would be coin
plvtely destroyed if its operations were
exposed to view, explains Frank Fyles
iu The Ladles' Home Journal.
The noise of the waiter falling down
stain, with a tray of dishes, for in­
stance, 1» simulated by dropping as of­
ten as necessary a basket flll«'<l with
bits of broken eblua, aud a cylinder of
silk turned with a crank, drawing tlie
, loth over wooden flanges, gives a per-
feet rain and wind storm. A lightning
accut panitnefct is made by touching
hu ordinary tile to a bit of carbon, both
,.n live wires, and thunder by rolling
tenpin lx.ll» in a lung, narrow, wooden
tro'jc’u.
Ihe rumble of the wheels of a car­
riage is Imitated with a vehicle like a
miniature freight car run on a wooden
track, and a striking of wood or metal
on hard or soft surfaces serves to con­
vince an audience of the approach or
departure of a bora«'. When there is
war, a single shot or two is usuallj
the real thing, but n rifle volley effect
is obtained by rapidly beating a dried
calfskin with rattans, while heavy
strokes on the bass drum will convey
tbe idea of cannonading.
If this mechanism were seeu in op­
eration by an audience. It would make
the whole performance seem ridiculous.
Elephant and Train.
A big and ugly elephant which had
loug been an object of pursuit to the
sportsmen of the Straits Settlements
one day wandered on to the railway
line and tried conclusions with the en­
gine of a goods train, charging it re­
peatedly and keeping up the contest for
nearly an hour. The engine was re­
versed in the hope that the beast would
allow the train to proceed, but as soon
as there was any attempt to renew the
journey the elephant returned to the
encounter and resumed its obstructive
tactics. The driver was afraid to
charge the brute, lest the train should
be thrown off the rails, and the contest
might have gone on much longer had
not the elephant 1 lacked into the en-
giue and. setting its fore feet firmly
between the rails, endeavored to shove
the train backward with its hind quar­
ters.
The driver took advantage of the op­
portunity and put on steam, gradually
forcing the beast off the Hue. In this
maneuver one of the wheels of the en­
gine went over the hind legs of the
animal, which was put out of its mis­
ery by the guard of a following passen­
ger train.—Science.
Plano That Intoxicate.
Bumblebees, butterflies and beetles
are habitual drunkards. In sotne of
the southern states insects alight on
certain plants, drink heartily from the
blossoms and fall to the ground stu­
pefied. After awhile they rise and lly
around, just as drunken men would do
if they had the power of flying. Their
antics are especially amusing unless
one does not know what is the trouble.
In this case the suspicion that the In­
sect world has gone crazy is upper­
most.
A scientist who had observed the
drinking and Its results collected a
teaspoonful of the pollen to see if It
would affect a man ’he same way. He
swallowed it and in a few minutes
found his pulse beating faster and a
rise of temperature. Then be distilled
some of the blossoms and gave himself
a hypodermic Injection in the arm. lie
became decidedly dizzy as a result. Hf
further experiments he found an oil de­
rived from these plants which affects
human beings and animals alike.—New
York Telegram.
The Hoirne 8nve«l the Juilxe.
Ilnmora of the Law.
In a recent bankruptcy case. In
speaking of justices of toe peace, they
are said to be "ottieers by no means in­
fallible, frequently innocent of law and
actually sometimes known to construe
tlie abbreviation affix designating their
office, J. 1'.’ to mean ‘judgment for
plaintiff.' ”
A federal court, in explaining that
the functions of a charge d'affaires
were not shown by tlie literal transla­
tion of tlie terms. Illustrated by say­
ing. "To appoiut a person chief builder
could not be understood to invest him
with tlie ecclesiastical functions of the
pontlfex ma xi mus.”—Case and Com-
I
ment.
Effective Prayer.
A very nice and gentle curate went
to a Yorkshire parlsii where the parish­
ioners bred horses and sometimes rac­
ed them. He was asked to invite the
prayers of the congregation for Luck
Gray. He did so. They prayed three
Sun.lays for I.uck Gray. On the fourth
tlie < lerk told the curate he need not
do it any more.
“M lij '■" asked the curate.
she
dead?”
®
“No.” said the clerk; “she’©©on the
o
steeplechase."
The curate t>ecame quite a power In
the parish.
A judge of the English high court
was once arrested on suspicion of har­
ing burglarious designs on the bouse
of a friend in Mayfair. The police
officer charged him in the police sta­
tion with loitering with felonious inteut,
and the prisoner’s description f him­
self as one of her majesty’s judges was
received with a grin of sarcastic deri­
sion.
At that moment an old offender was
brought in who happened to catch
sight of his lordship's face, which he
had good reason to remember.
“Y’ou here, my lord!” he exclaiutcA
with unfeigned astonishment. “Well,
this beats cockflgbtlng.”
The rogue's unsolicited corrol>oratl< a
of the judge's declaration saved the
situation, and bis lordship was allowed
to depart in peace.
Mike All Over.
Mr. Duffy-Mrs. Kelly, It pains me/
infarm yez tbot yure hoosband lias JI*1
bln blowed oop bol a doinanioite ar-
thrldge. We found his bead In wan 1' '■
an bl» body in another lot, an 1 ’ '•
In another lot, an his arms an fate iB
another lot.
Mrs. Kelly (proudly! — B> - 'rJ ■
tbot’© Moike all over!—Harper's
iy.
cn ì
I Tm» a
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me
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E-le, I
ExaaperatlnK.
“Gee whizz, how my wife does »S’
A I'blladrlphla Slander.
grawate me!”
9 Bilger—You remember Tompkins?
“You surprise me. Surely she ««:• •
The Xrw Conk.
Yea? I saw liim dowu at Philadelphia henpeck you?”
"Maggie, did you make that chicken
tbe
other
day.
I
was
In
the
car.
be
cn
“No. Ifs her awful meekne«-
3
broth as I ordered yon?”
the depot platform. I stuck my arm ever we have an argumet® and I 1 B
“Oi did. mom.”
. cut of tbew-lDdow to shake hands with the rig^pt. she always sighs and say*
"What did you do with It?”
1®1. and <lo you know before I could *Oh. very well. dear, have it your o«i>
“Sure, an fiiat ®>e
Id Ol do wi i It get hold of his linnd—
way!’ "—Philadelphia Press.
but fade It to tlie chickens, mom?”—
Jigger— Tbe train started, eb&
Bt*ton Courier
"No. my ami went to sleep!”—Types.
Inconalite at.
“You keep me waiting so Ions
3
Tn the nortbwi «t provinces of India plained the customer.
In c-ats freqti. ntly eat without any ill
"Madam.” said tbe worried
‘
my iiend this n
effect tl •• I• ares and green «items nf
Although th« Trsnxvaal is 1.000 miles
He—You otig
If the nksna or r.iadar. the m!?ky Juice who was economizing In hl’ ' ■
nearer the equator, the tetciperature your hair ahoi
it would of which is an acrid poison for human by mploylng only one clerk, “a • !
average» much lower than at Cape soften tbe effect of i
okM» you twines ar.d Is frequently used as such th« woman that was In here r ’
Town.
kicking about short weights • ’—<•' ••
are getting lu I : i,
In lufanticide cases.
c» Tribune.
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