Lane County leader., June 24, 1904, Image 3

raptions
e o n ly w a y t o g e t, rid
imples and o th er erup­
ts to cleanse the blood,
v e the digestion, stim-
the kidneys, liv e r and
T h e medicine t o take is
Make " P . t ” Ph r«.. r
Tl>e gfft dWtiWTriab peai
nialtlng expressive and humorous
phruse» is not by any aitana a Action
o f literature. The use of -"p a t"
phrase» la natural to him. says Illus­
trated Bits.
A clerical traveler lu Cavan not
long ago asked a peasant how far It
was to a certain village, and was an­
swered, "T w o miles."
"W hat! Only two miles?” said the
traveler, who had before traveled the
distance and found It a long road.
“ Well, your revereuce," answered
the peasant, "It Is two miles strong
and rich, so to sphake.”
A somewhat similar story Is told by
one of Lord Zetland's party, who were
making Inquiries Into the condition of
a distressed district. They were cross­
ing a lake; a gale was blowing, and
waves were dashing over the boat
The gentleman referred to had been
assured that an Irish peasant. If treat­
ed well, will always agree with whst
is said to him, rather than appear dis­
agreeable. It struck the gentleman
that here was a good chance to put
the assertion to proof.
"There Is very little wind, Pat," he
said to one of the boatmen.
The answer came through the howl­
ing elements;
“ Very little. Indade, yer honor, but
phwat there la Is mighty athrong.”
CATARRH IS THE CAUSE
OF MOST KIDNEY DISEASES
PE-RU-NA CURES CATARRH.
Dolly— Were you pleased when Char­
ley proposed?
Polly— Pleased?
I
Captain James L. Dempsey, Captain 2nd
came pretty near giving him our col­
Precinct Troy Police Force, writes from 198
lege yell.— Puck.
has cured thousands.
Ferry St., Troy, N. Y, as follows:
Ned— It took me a long time to
"From my personal experience with Pe­
For Japanese Soltiie»».
make up my mind If a man who specu­
ru n a I am satisfied it is a very fine remedy
lated In stocks Is a fool. Ted— How
e and dried fish ia the uniform
for catarrhal affections, whether oI the
of the Japanese army in cam-
did you Anally determine? Ned—I
head, lungs, stomach or pelvic organs. It
ling times. This ia the way in
j speculated.—Town Topics.
cures colds quickly, and a few doses token
after
undue exposure prevents Illness.
h the rice ia cooked. It ia boiled
"Bonny,” said the good old man,
"Som e of the patrol men under me have
quite thick and glutinous. Next
“ I ’m surprised that you should tease
also found great relief from Reruns.
It
placed on a ceramic slab, rolled
1 that cat In that way." "W h y,” replied
has cured chronic cases of kidney and blad­
and cut into squares. The squares
the had boy, pausing In bis Inhuman
der troubles, restored men suffering from
then placed In the sun to dry and
V'ork, "do you know any better way?”
indigestion and rheumetism, and I am fully
a turned. When hard as sea bls-
persuaded that it Is an honest, reliable med­
— Philadelphia Press.
and greatly reduced in weight,
icine, hence I fully endorse and recommend
Mr. Slap— What Is the secret of Gll-
It."
JAMES L. DEMPSEY.
can be stored.
dlboy’s success
Miss Bang— Why, be
Officer A. C. Swanson writes from 007 Harrison
certain uurnber are allowed each
knew a girl who spends a thousand a
6 t., Council Bluffs, la., as follows:
to the soldier. All he has to do is
year on dresses. Mr. Slap— Ah, I see;
"A s my duties compelled me to be out in all
reak up a square in boiling water
kinds 01 weather 1 contracted a severe cold from
he married her? Miss Bang—Ob, no;
to and the dried fish. In a few
time to time which settled in the kidneys, caus­
he married her dressmaker.— Comic
ing severe pains and trouble in the pelvic organa.
utes he has what seemft to him a
Cuts.
" 1 am now like a new man, am in splendid
lous thick soup. I f he cannot pro-
health and give all praise to Peruna.” —A. C.
Young Swell— I left a letter on my
5 boiling water he simply eats his
Swanson.
table when I went out. Where Is It?
eake dry. In the fruit season he
Valet—I hope you won’t mind, sir. I
stltutes fruit, when he can obtain
K in d -H e a rte d .
thought It would do nicely for my
;or the fish.
The tenderest heart may exist In sweetheart; so I posted It to her. Your
he July Century w ill be a fiction spite of the roughest exterior. A little Christian name It the same as mine!—
oberf although the advance an- fox terrier had been left outside a Bos­ Tlt-Blts.
ncements give promise of notable ton store by Its owner. Evidently th«
"W hat’s the matter, little boy?” ask-
tures of interest for serious readers, dog had not been long In the city, for edy old Mr. Goodart, "what are you
it
trembled
with
fright
at
being
out
ides further chapters of the serials,
crying for ” "Boo, hoo!” sobbed the
. 8. Weir Mitchell’s “ The Youth of of the protecting presence of Its mas­ hoy. "Boo, hoo!” “ Come, come! Don’t
ter.
As
it
lay
crouching
In
the
door­
ehington” and Jack London’s “ The
mind! Don’t mind!”
"Boo, hoo! I
i-W olf,” there w ill he nine short way a huge laborer came along. didn’t, an’ that’s what 1 was licked
Beaching
down
pityingly,
he
stroked
ries in the number, Miriam Michel*
fur.” — Philadelphia Public Ledger.
, author of “ In the Bishop’s Car- the wee animal, speaking a few sooth­
Young Couple (who expect the visit
ge,’ * contributing another Madigan ing words at the same time. The re­ of a very miserly relative, from whom
ry. There w ill be stories also by sult was that the fear In the dog's they have expectations, are clearing
rgaret Deland, Bertha Kuukle, and heart subsided. It wagged Its tall the room of every sign o f luxury.)
knowingly and licked the kind-bearted
uverneur Morris.
W ife (earnestly)— W e must do all we
man’s hand. When It was left alone
can to make uncle feel at home. Hus­
M a k in g H im C o m fo r t a b le .
It sat up bravely, as though feeling
New Boarder (shivering)— This stove assured that human beings would do band (caustically)— Then we had bet­
ter let the Are out
too small for this room.
It no harm.
Landlady (kindly)— So it is. I ’ll have
“ Mamma,can God hear everything?”
Strong Language.
moved into a smaller room for you.
j “ Everything, Willie.” “ And Is God al-
Fredericksburg, Ind., June 20.— ! ways happy?” "Always, Willie. Why
For forty year’s Plso s Cure for Con­ Rev. Enoch P. Stevens of this place
Samuel R. Sprecher, Junior Beadle Court An­
’ do you ask?” "W ell, I should think
niption has cured coughs and colds. At
uses strong language in «peaking of it would make him suffer a little to gelina, 3,422 I. O. O. F., 205 New High 8 t., Loe
ggists. Price 26 cen ts.
Dodd’s Kidney Pills and he gives good hear what sister and that fellow of Angeles, Cal., writes:
T h e P h ilo s o p h e r .
reasons for what he says:
“ I came here a few years ago suffering with
hers are saying to each other In the
“ Do you see any humor in this
“ I can’ t praise Dodd’s Kidney Pills j next room.” — Smart Set.
catarrh of the kidneya, in search of health. I
tfe?”
thought the climate would cure me, but found I
too much,” says Mr. Stevens. ‘ ‘They
Parker— What’s wrong? You seem was mistaken. But what the climate could not
“ Well, comparatively—yes. That is. have done me so much good. 1 was
worried.
Streeter—
I
am.
I
wrote
two
do Peruna could and did do. Seven weeks’ trial
ere is more humor in it than there troubled with my kidneys so much that
convinced me that I had the right medicine,
in getting out of it, so I conclude it I bad to get up two or three times in notes—one to my broker asking him
and I was then a well man, I know of at least
If
he
took
me
for
a
fool,
and
the
other
ust be a Joke. Though sometimes, I the night and sometimes in the day
twenty friends and members of the lodge to
ust confess, I laugh when I really when starting to the Waterhouse the to Miss Golding asking her If she
which I belong who have been cured of catarrh,
not see the point.” — Detroit Free water wuold come from me before get­ . would be mine. While I was out some­ bladder and kidney trouble through the use of
body telephoned "Yes,” and I don’t
rest.
%
Peruna, and It has a host of friends in this city.”
ting there.
Two .boxes of Dodd’«
know which o f ’em It was.
SA M UE L R. SPRECHER.
Kidney Pills cured me entirley.
There Is more Catarrh In this section o f the
Precautionary measure: Mrs. New-
" I have recommended Dodd’s K id­
Catarrh of the Kidneys a Common tairh all the time. A few bottles of man every year, giving Peruna th*
untry than all other diseases put together,
d until the last few years was supposed to be ney Pills to many people and have ed (a bride o f six weeks)— And how
Disease — Kidney Trouble Often Peruna would cure them.
whole praise for marvelous cures.
curable. For a great many years doctors pro-
long will you be away, dearest? Mr.
Fails to Be Regarded as Catarrh Pe-ru-na Removes the Cause of the
Pe-ru-na Cures Kidney Disease.
unced it a local dlsea.se, and prescribed local never yet heard of a failure. Dodd’«
by Physicians.
medics, and by constantly failing to cure Kidney Pills are the things for Kidney Newed— About ten days. Mrs. Newed
Peruna cures kidney disease. T h «
Kidney Trouble.
th local treatment, pronounced it Incurable, Diseases and Rheumatism.”
— Well, I think I ’ ll learn to cook while
reason it cures kidney disease is be­
Catarrh of the kidney* is very com­
‘ ence has proven catarrh to be a constitu-
Peruna
strikes
at
the
very
center
of
nal disease, and therefore requires constltu-
Dodd’ s Kidney Pills always cure the you are absent Mr. Newed—That’s a mon indeed. It is a pity this fact is the difficulty, by eradicating the ca- cause it cures catarrh. Catarrh ol the
nal treatment. Hall’ s Catarrh Cure, manu-
good Idea. And I ’ll take the dog over not better known to the physicians as
kidneys ¡B the ranse of most kidney
,lured by F. J. Cheuey & Co.,Toledo, Ohio, is kidneys. Good Kidneys insure pure
, tarrb from the kidneys. Catarrh ie
disease.
Peruna cures catarrh wher­
e only constitutional cure on the market. It blood. Pure blood mean« good health. and leave him with one of the neigh­ well as the people.
1
the
cause
of
kidney
difficulty.
Re­
taken Internally in doses from 10 drops to a
bors.— Ex.
People have kidney disease. They move the cause and you remove the ever it happens to be located. It rare­
»spoonful. It acts directly on the blood and
T h e n H e G e t B u sy.
ly fails.
uc »us surfaces of the system. They offer one
Nellie (sympathetically)— You poor take some diuretic, hoping to get bet­
undred dollars for any case it falls to cure.
Tom— For the last hour I have been dearl What a narrow escape! And ter. They Dever once think of catarrh. effect. With unerring accuracy Peru­
If you do not derive prermpt and sat­
Snd for circulars and testimonials.
na goes right to the spot. The kidneys
watching for an opportunity to etcal a
Address,
F. J. CHKNEY A CO., Toledo, O
what started the horse? Gertie (Indig­ Kidney disease and catarrh are seldom are soon doing their work with perfect isfactory results from the use of Peru­
kiss.
'“ Id by Druggists, 75c.
na, write at once to Dr. Hart.nan, giv­
H airs Family Pills are the best.
Bess—Indeed! Don’t you think it nantly)— Well—you know. W ill was associated in the minds of the people, regularity.
ing a full statement of yonr case, and
would be a good idea for you to coneult Just helping me out of the trap, and— and, alas, it Is not very often associ­
Thousands of Testimonials.
he w ill be pleased to give you hia val­
the stupid horse could not tell the d if­ ate»! in the minds of the physicians.
R ig h t e o u s In d ig n a tio n .
an oculist?
Thousands of testimonials from peo­ uable adviro gratis.
ference between a—good-night— kiss Too lew physician» rec»>gnize catarrh of
Mrs. Youngma— Oh! I ’m so boiling
Mothere w ill find Mr«. Wlnslowe'a Soothing
Address Dr. Hartman, President of
ver with righteous indignation I don’t
and a signal to start. And he—start­ the kidneys. They doctor for some ple who have had kidney dleease which
Byrap the best remedy to use for their children
now what to do. I ’d— I ’d lik# to bite daring the teething period..
ed. Some horses have so littla— thing else. They try this remedy and had gone beyond the control of the The Hartman Sanitarium, Columbus,
somebody.
that remedy. The trouble may be ca- physician are received by Dr. Hart­ Ohio.
sense.”
Friend— Whom?
P ro of.
A
girl
forced
by
her
parents
Into
a
“ Whom? Why, those coarse, brutal,
First Lawyer— But have we proof
disagreeable match with an old man,
N o t fia a ily D one.
T h e Prussian State railway system,
'Inhuman owners of the St. Quiet flats. that he Is really Insane?
M o ra S a tis fa c to ry .
whom she detested, when the clergy­
Housekeeper (captiously)— I
believe having 21,104 miles of track, earned
¡They refused to rent to me.”
"H e who runs may read.” remarked
Second Lawyer— Without question.
that coudenaed milk of youra la mostly $140,000,000 net last year. This is said
man came to that part o f the servics the party with the quotation habit.
“ Everybody knows that they object to
Why, the gas man failed to Inspect
to be 10 to 12 per cent of the invest­
[children, my dear.”
where the bride Is asked If she con­ I “ But,” objected the contrary person, water.
his
meter
one
month
and
be
actually
Manufacturer (quietly)— Madam, have ment.
“ Yes, of course— but they objected to
sents to take the bridegroom for her “ it ia aafer to occupy a seat during tha
you
ever
tried
to
condense
water?
sent
for
him.
mine.”
husband, said, with great simplicity, perusal of a newspaper."
__
“ Oh, dear, no, sir, but you are the Arst
"T h e Magna Chart* of Japan,” a
u o u o r - m o r p h in e - tobacco
person who has asked my opinion
happily timely topic, will be discussed
HABITS PERMANENTLY CURED
about the matter.”
— roe FULL PAAHCULAA5 —
in the July Century by Baron Kentaro
lic e and a ll verm in th a t
TxmuYiNSTmjrr.- p o r t i a n p . ow ç ,
The laundress’ little daughter had
In fe et horses rattle, p o u l­
Kaneko, one of the four authors of the
try , etc. Lou sy hens w ill
been allowed to peep Into the dining­ Japanese constitution. Baron Kaneko
n o t la y j n o r chicks in’ow .
room, where the table was set for a is a Harvard A. B. and Doctor of Laws.
The largest mammoth found In 81-
dinner party. "And, mamma," she said He is a member of Japan’s House of berla measured 17 feet long and 10
■ later, "every plate had two forks by Peers and was formerly Minister of feet In height. The tusks weighed
[ It. What was that for?” “ You don’t State for Agriculture and Commerce. 300 pounds. The head without th#
should ko to sustain life
know the way o f your betters, child,"
He is in America now as the envoy of tusks weighed 414 pounds.
replied the laundress: "the extra fork the Japanese Emperor.
th e l i r e , thus It 8AVE8
A thin, vapory smoke, lazily ascend­
P IT A Permanently oar ©a. wo fits or nervous
FEED an e x tr a r a tio n «
Is In case they drop one on the Aoor.”
m ust he R iven on accoun t
I l l y after first day’s use of Dr.Kline’ sUroatNi
o f v e rm in . 2 5 « > * n d 5 0 o
in g from its crater, may be the only vi*-
— Detroit Free Press.
Restorer. Send for F re e S2 trial bottle and tree___
W a r n e d In Tim e.
d e a le r«. By m all tOc A 75o
Dr. H. H. Kline. Ltd-M.’ Arch Bt.. Philadelphia, Pa.
ible sign of life in the sleeping volcano;
French Maid (to inquiring friends)—
Old Dumps— A penny for your
P R U S S IA N NEMCOV OO.
ST. PAUL, M INN.
but within is a ra gin g sea o f fire, molten
Oul, madame Is 111, but ze doctor baf J thoughts.
A P r a c t ic a l G irl.
68 paire H and B ook F re e
Y'onng Gumps— I am trying to remem­
pronounce It something very trlAing,
rock and sulphurous gases. Those who
He— I know my income is small, but
i very small. Friend—Oh, I am so re­ ber whet it wee my wife wanted me to don’t you think we could get along?
make their homes in the peaceful val­
P O R T L A N D S E E D C O .. P o r t i .o d . O r ..
V M M A g .n t * .
lieved, for I was real anxious. What bring home.
She— I ’m afraid not.
leys below k n ow the danger, and though
Old Damps— My! my! Don't do It
does
the
doctor
say
the
trouble
is
He— You told me that you went to a
frequently w arned by the rumblings and
Remembering the things s wife wants
French Msid—I/et me recall. It was you to bring home is a mighty bad habit. cooking school.
quakings, these signs of im pending erup­
She— Yea, but they did not teach me
something very leetle. Oh. oul, I have By the time you’ve been married ten
tion go unheeded. They are living in fancied security; when the giant
YOU CAN EARN
j It now! Madame has ze smallpox.— years, she’ll be giving you a list as long how to make wind pudding.
awakes with deafening roars,and they are lost beneath a downpour of j Woman’* Home Companion.
$ 25.00 PER OsY
as the tariff law.
heated rock and scalding ashes. Thousands o f blood poison sufferers are
Oatting Water.
It was Mabel’s Arst appearance at
Oil or Coal with
B U Y
living upon a sleeping volcano, and are taking desperate chances, for church and she was rather Adgety.
AUSTIN W E L L DKILLS
First she wanted one thing, then an­
under the mercury and pot-
B o w lin g O rson . K y . K e r . 84,1908.
Made in all size* and
style«. Write for Cats
asn treatment the external
G en tle m e n : F o r o v e r four y e a re I su ffered other. Finally she decided she must
lojruea and list of users in
aymtpomsof the disease dis- r r a . t l y fr o m a s e v e r , case o f
have a pin, so she asked for one from
West.
J7
r
« -i
a * « * . • p o ison . I w o n t to H o t S p rin g*« sta yin g th ere fo u r
her father. He had none. Then she
appear, and the deluded vie- m on th s a t a b ig • x p o m a . I than co n su lte d ph y-
lirn i l h a p p y in the b e lie f o f sio ian s, w h o p rescrib ed M e rcu ry . N o t h in « did tried her mother; bnt her mother, too,
tuli a ci.
,r r y
« . . i
me a n y r o o d ; in fa c t, the tre a tm en t pro-red m ore
bad none. Mabel’s longing had been
A com plete cure ; but the h a r m fu i than b en efioia l. I m en tion ed m y case to
818 Comme
fire* o f con tagion h ave o n ly a fr ie n d , w h o to ld m e th a t B. 8. 8. had o e rta ln ly Increased with her 111 success, so the
elei Block
climbed upon the pew end shouted at
I_______ ____, h . . v e - a u « d h l » . I a t o n c .e o m m . n o e d it a u M . « » d a f-
Do you like your thin, rou(h,
the top of her small voice, "Has any
PORTLAND.
short hsir? O f course you
ORB.
one In die trowd dot a pin?” — Lippla-
don’t.
Do
you
like
thick,
cett’o.
blaze up again. Occasional
.
, ,,___
h e a v y , sm ooth h a ir? O f
Fussy Man (hurrying Into a news­
P. PL U.
Ne. 21—1*04.
sore» break out in the mouth, a red rash appear» ^ the body.
w a rn in g sym ptom s, if not heeded, are soon followed y ear u e p
, paper office)—’T r e lost my spectacle« course you do. Then why
somewhere, and I want to advertise for
I 'lirHEWwHtliigUM.sT.rtlMr. pl«ZZTl
sores, copper-colored splotches, swollen glands, loss o
air an
I VY »..»!»■ tffn * m p »r . ________________ I
them, but 1 can’t see to write without
FR O M
YO U R
D E A L E R
sickening symptom». Mercury and potash not only fail to cure blood them, you know." Advertising Clerk
poison, but cause mercurial Rheumatism, necrosis of the bones offen­ (likely to be business manager some
sive ulcers and inflammation of the stomach and bowels. The use of day)‘‘I will write that ad. for you, air.
not be pleased ? A yer’s Hair
S. S. S. is never followed by any such bad results. It cure* "Uhout Any mark» on them V Fnaay Man— Vigor makes beautiful heads
••Yea.
yea.
Oold-rlmmed.
lenses
differ­
e gineb rs
the slightest injury to the system. W e offer $1,000 for Proof t
■
‘
1
contain» a mineral of any descrip­ ent focus, and letters L. O. 0- on In­ of h a ir, that’ s the whole
story.
Sold
for
60
years.
side.
Insert
It
three
times."
Advertis­
tion. S. S. S. is an antidote for conta­
** I h » n naed A yar’ i Ifq lr V igor fo r • l«n |
gious blood poison, it destroys every ing Clerk—"Yea. air. Five dollar»,
tim o It to. Indeed. at w oadorful hair took;,
restoring health to tho t a lr and scalp, »o d . at
atom of the virus and purifies and please.” Fneey Man—"Here It la.” Ad­
----
——
—*— “ * draaÜMf-^
tdlll. lad. T.
Da. J. WT
strengthens the blood and builds up the vertising Clerk—"Thanks. It give«
me. sir. greed pleasure to Inform you,
$1M
a
tatua.
I . © a t « « c o ..
general health.
^
, etr, that your spectacles are on the top
f o r ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■
W e will mail free our »pecial book of your bead." Fussy Man—"My atornl
on Contagion. B lood Poison, with full d ic tio n , for home treatment. 80 they are. Why didn’t you any ao
before T Advertising Clerk-"Buat:
Medical advice i* furnished by our physicians without charge.
PORTLAND, OREGON.
before pleasure, you know.”
W rit« far Catalogue end Prices.
m e s w if f sp ccm G go * a t ia k t a »
*s Sarsaparilla
KILLS
SLEEPIN G
VO LCANO ES
LICE!
Ayers
Hair Vigor
RUSSELL " W
Sl‘S ills High Grade
THRs ® s Machinery
W ea k Hair
The A. H. Averill Machinery Co.