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About Lane County leader. (Cottage Grove, Lane County, Or.) 1903-1905 | View Entire Issue (May 27, 1904)
liar To Itself R efu sed to Serve. A. Frenchman went to a brother member of his lodge aud said to him: “ What does a polar bear do?** The brother answered: “W hat does a polar bear do? Why, a n d w h a t it does— con- he sits on the ice.” best b lo o d -p u rify in g , j “Sits on see Ice?“ “ Yes,” said the brother, “there Is d tonic substances and nothing else to sit on.“ m ost rad ic al a n d per- “ Veil, vat he do, too?“ o f a ll hu m ors a n d all “ What does he also do? Why, he elie vin g w eak , tired, eats fish.“ “ Bat fish— sits on zee Ice and eats 'n g s , an d b u ild in g u p fish. Then I not accept“ stem — is tru e o n ly of “ You don’t accept? What do you mean?“ “Oh, non, non. I does not accept. medicine acts like it; I was appointed to act us polar bear edicine has done so to zee funeral.“ substantial good, no O dd Thing* About (he ’Possum. ne has restored health T&e American opossum Is one of tbe at so little cost. most curious animals living in tbe led w ith sc ro fu la and came United States. It is tbe only one tbnt e y e sigh t. F o r fo u r m onths I do an yth in g. A f t e r taking carries its young in a pouch.’ like tbe It la tbe only animal that ood’s S a rs a p a rilla I cou ld see kangaroo. It Is re- e n I h a d taken e ig h t bottles 1 can feign death perfectly. 1 as ever.” Suais A. Hams- markable for banging by Its tail like a monkey. It bus bauds resembling /• c. rs a p a rllla p ro m ise s to those of a human being. Its snout is ps th e p ro m ise . like a bog's, while its mouth Is liber- ally furnished with teeth. Its eyes are like a rat's aud it hisses like a anake. elflHh Youth. ‘I Have Every Reason to Praise Pe-ru-na,’ WRITES MRS. KANE, OF CHiCAQO. C w P U K man who lden- i X ' Sarsaparilla h you are engaged to me, me a bit better than you R A M 'S H ORN B LA S TS . W a rn in g Notee Calling the Wicked to Uepeutance. ^ /— ) i.vW -i jl ^ fle* wl,h the dollar, sign for yeara 18 apt V J ^ S S r t o become crooked. Some creed Is the backbone of every character. It la a foolish Englishwoman— H ave you been to fruit that kicks Westminster Abbey yet? Fair Amer agaiust its root. ican— No; but I beur It highly spoken God gives no of.— Ex. man a coutract to Visitor— H as your little baby sister build the fences around Ills Kingdom. got any teeth? Tommy— Oh. yes! 1 ain’t It Is never safe to trust God’s busi guess she's got ’em, but she yet.— Philadelphia ness to the man who neglects his own. hutched ’em out God puts up fences to keep the Ledger. I “ What do you think of my death enemy out as well as to keep the saints ! ¡scene?” asked the actor. “ Well, It In. , seemed to me It came a little too late | There Is no change this year In the prevailing fasbioua in the New Jeru In the piece,” was the reply.— Chlca j go Evening Post. , salem. j The private car may carry a heavy Daily Guide to Flattery.— If you meet a woman who strongly suspects heart while the day coach carries a I that she Is a beauty, ask her earnestly light one. I When Christ Is rejected as a part of ' if all her family are beautiful.— Bal timore American. the building lie becomes a stone of Dorothy— So Jack kissed you, eh? stumbling. ! Did you give him auy encourage God Is dark to some people because ment? Judla— Encouragement! Say. they are on the wrong side of the I guess you don’t know Jack, do you? pillar of fire. j — Philadelphia Ledger. | The existence of a few weeds is no i Anything To Blame It On.— Mother argument for the rejection of the . — Johnny Joues, did you get that aw- whole garden. ! ful cold out skating? Son— Mother. I I I I f the pearls of the virtues become think I caught It washing my face as common as pebbles they would not yesterday morning.— Judge. be less valuable. | The Empress of Chlua— What Is Mrs. K. Kane, 172 Bebor Street, Chi cago, 111., writes: “ Peruna has been used so long In our family that I do not know how I could get along without it. I have given it to all of my -hildren at differ ent times when they suffered with croup, colds and the many ailments that children are subject to, and am (leased to say that It Has kept them n splendid health. I have also used it for a catarrhal difficulty of long standing and it cured me in a short time, so I have every reason to praise Peruna.” — M rs. K. Kane. I f The Century’. Summer Campaign. Peruna always slays. No home can It is announced that each of the spare Peruna after the first trial of it. summer and autumn numbers of The elfish you are! I ’m en- Mrs. A. Hobson, 225 Washington Century will carry out a special plan. too. St., Lansing, Mich, writes: The June issue, for instance, will be a Western number, its long and full “ Peruna has been such a blessing P e-ru -n a Protects the Entire House % Cannot Be Cured table of contents representing, by sub- to my only child, as w ell as myself, hold Against Catarrhal io n s as they ca n n o t reach the that I feel induced to give my testi i of the ear. T h e re is o n ly one jcet or by contributor, eveiy trans-Al- Diseases. monial. He has alw ay s suffered from 'ness, au d that is b y constitu- leghany State or Territory. It w ill be, l>eafues8 is caused b y a n in- catarrh of the head and throat, and I o f the m ucous lin in g of the in a certain sense, a Wet tern exhibit One of the greatest foes with which had to use extra precautions so as not W h e n th is tube is inflam ed for the St. Louis Fair. There w ill be The man who falls while trying to that strange nolae I hear? The Min lin g so u n d o r im p e rfe c t hear every family has to contend is our to have him exposed to damp or cold ts en tire ly closed , D eafness is eight articles of special significance to do good has more honor than he who ister of thé Intarior— It Is the bottom Last y ear he w as taken changeable climate. To protect, the weather. nless the in flam m atio n can be the West and of much general interest, succeeds by accident. { dropping out of the New York stock with la grippe, and as it w as a severe is tu b e restored to its norm al family from colds and coughs is alwayB including a word for forestry from ex- | When there is room for all a wo market, your majesty.— Life. case, caused me much anxiety. No g w i l l be d estroyed forever; 1 a serious problem, and often impossi med cine helped him till he took P e ten are caused b y Catarrh, President Cleveland, four striking color man’s lov* In tbe heart of a poodle Stimulation.— Biggs— I understand ble. bu t a n lntlaiued condition of runa. I noticed an improvement at pages, eleven stories besides further no man need be sorry he has lost It ces. that young Briefly has taken up the Sooner or later it is the inevitable once and In three weeks he w as a dif e H u n d re d D o lla rs for any chapters of Jack London’s “ The Sea - 1 law since he married. Diggs— Very fate of very one to catch cold. Care in ferent child; the grippe had been com caused by c a ta rrh ) th at can - The hungry one Is apt to think that W o lf,” and various other features that a ll’s C atarrh Cure. Send for I understand that his wife avoiding exposure and the use of prop pletely cured and I noticed that the he has Heaven’s full meal when he likely. promise much pleasure and profit. lays It down to him.— Chicago News. er clothing will protect from the fre catarrh w as made better. He kept CHENEY Ji CO., Toledo, Q. The July issue will be a special fic has only caught the fragrance of the Sts, 75c. Willie— Pa. you don't get chestnuts quency and perhaps the severity of taking it tw o w eeks longer, when he Us are the best. tion number, but will have also a paper kitchen. w as entirely w ell. I now use it o '* until after there's a frost, do you? Pa colds, but with the greatest of precau on “ The New West Point,” with im-^ S P A N IS H M IS S IO N S IN T E X A S . — Except In the case of a farce-com tions they will come. This is a settled and on for colds, cramps, Indigestion or general Indisposition, and find It ’ s L a b o r l» o s t . pressing drawings from the architects’ , mma— Clara, dear, what plans, and two or three articles touch Rem arkable Ambition of Pre.um ably edy. my son. Then the chestnuts como fact of human experience. Everybody superior to any doctors or medicine I must expect to be caught somewhere or ever tried. It keeps me, as well as first and the frost afterward.— Phila h say last night when he ing interests in the Far East. Andrei Untrained Buildera. | somehow. my child, in perfect health, and 1 button your glove in the Castaigne’s pictures of the world's fair, I There are In Texas the remains of delphia Press. ' Perhaps it will be wet feet, or a gladly recommend it to m others.” — for which the studies were made on five missions, located In and around A Physician’s Blunder.— Dr. Jinks draught, or damp clothes, or it may be M rs. A. Hobson. he merely said that any the grounds, are making and are prom the old town of Sun Antonio de Bexar, — I suppose you must hsve lost some gloves that were as hard We have on file many thousaand tes one of a thousand other little mishaps, ised for an eaily number. one of the claimants to primogeniture of your patients by being aw sy for Sue ought to quit the busi- but no one is shrewd enough to always timonials like the ones given above. among the cities of our land, says Olaf so long a time? Dr. Kent— Yes, con N earing tire Limit. W e can only give our readers a slight avoid the inevitable catching cold. Z. Cervln In the Architectural Record. found It! Ten or a dozen of them got nm— Well, dear, take my "D o you know, darling,” said the love-, ■ There is no fact of medical science glimpse of the vast array of unsolicited ’t waste any more time sick young man who waa busy planting I The names of these are: Del Alamo , well.— Boston Transcript | better known than that Peruna cures endorsements we are receiving every microbes, “that I believe it rnakea in. a (1700 or 1703) 1744; De la Concepcion Small Consolation.— The Landlady— catarrh wherever located. Thousands month. No other physician in. the (1710), 1731; San Jose de Aguayo (1720), { I ’m afraid Mr. Slopay has forgotten of families in all parts of the United world has received such a volume of en better man every time I kiss you?” •Well,” rejoined tlie taffy-haired girl 1725; San Juan de Capistrano (1731 ; what a large bill he owes me. The States are protected from colds and ca thusiastic and grateful letters of thanks in the parlor seene, "at the pae. you are — »-); San Francisco de la Espado 8tar Boarder— No, he hasn't. He said tarrh by Peruna. Once in the family as Dr. Hartman for Peruna. going now there trill soon be no more (1710). 173L The dates within th» h o rtest W a y only yesterday that he wished he had room for improvement.” brackets are of the founding. money enough to move.— Judge. o i an attack of I Young girls in Greece snd Italy wor Little, Indeed, but the churches re Oregon Blood Purifier is lllss Pepprey— I suppose that was shiped Diana until they were of age, rightly named, because it purifies the main. These being of ptone and well your valet I saw with you yesterday. blood and tones up the body. . built have pretty successfully with Cholly— My deah Miss Peppwey, don’t stood time, wars and relic hunters. say “valet.” That word, you know. grove, and turned to Aphrodite. Men have a more acute h u i of Fxuli They are remarkable for elaborate Is not used now as------ Miss Pepprey than Women. carving and sculpture, few of the oth — Well, then, your “keeper.”— Ex. I s 'Jure fa a remedy for coughs, colds — M - Æ. I f F I ( f p f « 1 and consumption. Try it. Price 25 cents, ers being comparable with them In this Miss Howjames (at ths opera)— at druggists. Mother, will And Mr.. Window.’. Soothing respect At San Juan there were once Byrup the beat remedy to um for their children Hasn't she a marvelous technique? during the teething period.. I five full figures and also small cherubs, H EALTH RESTORER F ate o f a Jewel. Mr. Cahokla— Yes, but she doesn’t— tr — but vandalism has destroyed or re — --------------- U S E IT ! Wife— I discharged the cook to-day. — seem to know how to manage It Th > services of no less than forty- I moved most of them. gracefully. She gives it a sort of kick i Husband— Why, I thought you said three gods and goddesses were needed to The ornamental carving, confined in not long ago that she was a perfect j when she turns around.— Chicago Trtb- I jewel? raise a Roman child. new Spain as lu old to the doorways ; une. I W ife— Yes, but jewels, you know, are and windows. Is In Spanish rococo of TRADC LIOUOR-MORPHINE-TOBACCO “My gracious! W hat a crush!” more ornamental than useful. the most unrestrained type, hut not MARK. ■HABITS PERMANENTLY CURED without elegance and charm. A bap gasped the shopper; “ I’m nearly — fOR FULL FARTICULARS — ■ tistery window from San Jose Is fair 'dead.” “Permit me, madam," said the W E W AN T ly overrun with convolutions and in 1 floorwalker, politely, “to call your at- AGENTS I. to use I tention to our undertaking department Water and bread maintain life; pure volutions. $150 and up per air and sunshine are indispensable to The Alamo, San Jose and I.a Concep In the basement.”— Philadelphia Lod month to ener .health; aud do not worry. cion each had two low towers flanking ger. getic represen Mr. B.— My dear Mrs. Croesus, may tatives in every ITQ Permanently uurecL Wonts or nervousness the entrance. Three of the six still city and town I I u after flrstday’suaeofDr.KUne’aUraatNerv* remain. A peal of bells once chimed I not put your name down for tickets not only sura relief, _.»storAp. Send for Free 89 trial bottle and treatise. town in Oregon cure. It soothes, Dr. H . H. Kline. Ltd - m : Arc h St-. Philadelphia, P * merrily in the upper story. The other ; to Professor Pundit's course of lec Washington and Idaho. Dignified, hon- ends the suffering. two missions had no bell towers, but tures on Buddhism? Mrs. C.— Oh, by oiable, permanent and immensely profit To be honest as this world goes, is ts the front walls were carried up and all means! You know how passion a n d 50c. be one mau picked out of tea thousand. the bells hung In two stories of arches. ately fond I am of flowers.”— Plck- able employment at home or on the road ; something new ; send stamp or — SLakspeare. This Yiad been done long before in the Me-Op. call at office for details. old Cathedral of St. Augustine. Fla. Mrs. Jllson— Foreign newspapers SQUARE DEAL BROKERAGE CO. Indeed, the practice of hanging bells in contain many advertisements of titles 129 Seventh Street, Portland, Oregon arches Is still older, recurring often for sale by members of noble families. enough In Spain, and seen even in the Old Jllaon— They should advertise for work of the Moors, as In several fine sealed proposals from American heir Moorish towns of Zaragossa. esses; this Is leap year.— Detroit Free The architectural ambition of these Press. presumably -untrained builders is re Laying Down the Law .— Lady (en- markable. There *ls the Concepcion i tertalnlng friend's little girl)— Do yon with a soaring dome crowning the In ¡take sugar, darling? The Darling— I t increases the ap petite, tones u p the tersection of the cross. Strong but Yee, please Lady— How many lumps? stom a»h , in vigo rates an d strengthens the tresses receive the thrust of the roof. ! The Darling— Oh. about seven, and ;tem , an d furnishes pu rer an d better blo od fo r the u p - A t San Jose, though the cliurCh Itself when I’m out to tea I start with cake. Is a simple oblong, there Is an Interest — Punch. f the ru n -d o w n constitution. Y o u w ill fin d no tonic ing little chapel alongside, with three Mr. Mllyuns— Now, Tommy, you p ro m p tly a n d ben eficially w h e re the health has giv e n low domes roofing It. must go to school and work bard. lith o v er-ta x ed b y h ard w o r k an d close confinem ent, W hy. look at me! I started without W o e. of the W ayfarer. (t h e lo w , m arshy sections o f the country, exp osed to Gritty George— Poor old Dusty! It’s a ccr.!. and now I’m a millionaire. fr< ;s a n d b rea th in g the im pu re air arisin g from stagnant a pity he can’t get something to tit Tommy— Yee, I know; but you can't 1, till their A . J. TOWER CO, , T H E -r(JWER-t Canton, Ohio, A ug. 6,1003. do It any more. They all have cash BOSTON. MASS.. US X . SIGN Gentlemen: S. 8. S. is a good medicine. I keep him. w it h m a- registers now.— Ex. Sandy Pikes— Can’t he. really? TOWER CANADIAN C O , * 7 ^ * ? it in the house all the while. It is an excellent lth under- tonic to riv e strength to the system and tone to TO R O N TO . CAW . » “ hits * BVMt^ “Living at Sw am pburst eh? That's Gritty George—-No. Ills trousers S . S. S. a all the organs. It gives appetite and energy and are too big an’ dey make him look like np the river, Isn’t It?” “ Yes.” “ Are makes one feel better in every way. I have found ic , an d its it also an excellent blood purifier. For months I a dude; his bat Is too big un’ It gives your grounds near the water?” “ Well, ~ny times w as troubled with an itching skin eruption on him de appearance of a college man, sometimes they're as much as six fo u s com - the face, and I tried specialists end many reme- while his collar is too big an’ it makes Inches from the surface, and on rare r dies to get a oure, but S. 8. 8. is the only medicine I ’ e r h n p » lt * a P l a t * T r o u b l e . j occasions there’s no water on them at SO O ft e n that seemed to relieve. I am now comparatively him look like a preacher.” free of this eruption. I think a great deal of your. P late trou ble 1» » com m on thing, and there ! all.’’— Philadelphia ledger. a. are v n rio u » k in ds of it Many platen never , medicine, believing it to be the best blood purifier G eneral Use o f a Deadly Drug. w ere right. O th er» are properly m ade, but | A Shrewd W ife.— M ra Greene— I d ap p e - and tonic known to the world to-day. The United States are buying 30.000 the m outh In not p?it in proper condition stion are _ .. , FR AN K H O E S IB . hope you trust your husband Implicit lor w e a r in g the plate. ounces of cocaine a year, at about $3 _. , 1880 E. Seventh st. ly? Mrs. Brown— Oh, yes, Indeed; but ritones o f ____________. If jrotir platen are In any w ay unnatinfactory an ounce. O f this only a very small I wouldn't have him know It for the we w ill t?e glad to m ake an exam in ation S. sup- proportion Is used legitimately. Some Altoona. Pa., Jana SO, 1908. and tell you th * cause of trouble. rntaining _ I have always been avers, to riv in g a ts.tlmo- States have forbidden Its promiscuous world. If he were aware of my per We extract teeth w h o lly w ithout pain an d tents for n ia l,.n d only do so now b .c an s. of a d s .ir. to i sale, but the laws have not been en fect trust In him he might be tempted all w ork ii at low er than reasonable rate» h . v . other, ben.fltad by th. nM of yonr moat _ the blood excellent medicine. Before nelng 8. 8. S. this forced. It robs Its victim of his men to take advantage of It, you know.” — K.xtracting free w h en platea or b rid g e * are Boston Transcript , __ ___ spring 1 very much f.lt the need of a tonlo; waa I DR. W. a . to ids. ordered. uK . i . r . t t jo B tal faculties and destroys his moral re en tonic troubled with Dyspepela and Conetlp.tion, end Exercise for Both.— Does yonr wife *c my blood waa In bed condition. The nee of your sponsibility in briefer time and in go In for athletics?” “I'm — yes, in a * ere .peclflo he. driven aw ay all indication, of Dys- greater degree than any other drug. o p e n e v e n in g till 9 Sun days from 9 to 12 O regon , Main 9U9 way. She went our yesterday to take _ , pepsia, regulated my bow el., enriched my blood, a ’ end can.ed m . to gain 80 pounds in weight, eo A Vat oral B arom eiei. exercise; said she waa going to walk .nd that I feel in better physical condition than t A piece of camphor gum Is a very np a long hill.” “And tbe did?’ “No; have In years. In my Judgment there is no better tonio snd end blood purl purifier on the market then yonr good Indicator of what the weather she got into the dry-goods district snd a pu rely preparation, and I anhosltatlugly recommend it going to be. If, when the camphor ran np a long bill Instead. Yon can A . L. F IS H E B . la exposed to the air. tbe gum remains 'aaslly see that I am the one who was ad, 1er ves “ 8ttoh’ like the strong potash and mineral remedies, which dry, tbe weather will be fresh and exercised."— Kansas City Journal. ach id nerves. A course o f S. S. S. n o w w ill dry. but If tbe gum absorbs the mois A Count of Boundless Nerve.— •n d th mpurities that have accumulated through ture and seems damp it Is an indication Count Nottapennl— Las’ night I glva nths at. ore readily and promptly thrown off,and o f rain. se lee tie heent to Miss Roxley sat I vonld like she should merry wls me. finds y\ t in good physical condition, instead o f Marvelous Machine. Richly— Congratulate me. old chap. Ascum— And did she give yon any eu- tired and ,* bilitated, with no appetite or energy, as where . e system i* neglected and nature left to I have the finest touring car In towu. coormgement? Count Nattapennl— 1 do not know. She simply say to me, Harker— For speed? I f y<r ‘ need a tonic and appetizer, you w ill Richly— No. for noise. My machine “ W hat klnda xe nerve food do yon M edical . vice without charge to all who write us P O R T L A N D , OREGON. make as much noise as a road roller. one?’— Philadelphia Press. W r i t * far C a ta lo gu e an d P ric e «. NEW PENSION LAWS 8 L r"p R E B m a tis m u r a lg ia .Ç p ffc G O N B ip o D p ü ft t fM , P o b s O il -THE BEST TONIC M M FAIL IN A DRY TIME THE 31 5KiN Of THE fISH NEVER FAILS HIE IN A WET TIME. I Rwnember this when .you buy Wet Weather Clothing and look for the name TOWER on the button». This sign and this name have stood for the B E ST during sixty-seven yeara of increasing sales. If your dealer will not supply you write for free catalogue of black or yellow water proof oiled coats, slickers, suits, hats, and horse good? for all kinds of w et work. D O Y O U R J A W S A C M E ? S. mm W IS E BROS., Dentists WteitiflK'SSSfiR RUSSELL e n g " U l e r s s * m i u s High Grade Machinery The A. H. Averill M ac'iire y Co. «1 T SPECIFIC CO., ATLANTA, BAm