Lane County leader., April 29, 1904, Image 7

uliar
To Itself
L a t e s t E le c t r ic a l N o ve lty .
Down near Atlantic City, N, J.,
I there baa been In successful operation
I for several months an experimental
trolley road minus the trolley. More
| astonishment atlll there la no third
; it is and what it does— con- rail or atorage battery to be aeen on
the best blood-purifying, thta unique bit of road. Without any
He— W hy does this theater have its
tve and tonic substances und apparent means of obtaining tha all-
important electric current, motor cara orchestra concealed? Bbe— Why? Just
ag the most radical and per- will draw a 2UO.OOO-pound load on this wait until you hear it play.
. cures o f all humors and all road. O f course, the secret of It all
Teacher— W here was the Declara­
[ms, relieving weak, tired, lies In the application of a new sys­ tion of Independence s i g n e d ? Tommy
tem.' Every sixteen feet a point of A t the bottom.— Chicago Daily News.
feelings, and building up
connection la established midway be­
Wantanno— W hy do you call that
iiole system— is true only of tween the rails where a metal button
boy of yours "Flannel?” Duzno— Be­
projects above a box through which
cause be just naturally shrinks from
pusaea the powerful current carried
Dther medicine acts like it; along wires in a subway. A person, washing.
Ediths— I wonder why the dudes
tlier medicine has done so might step on this button and one of
real, substantial good, no the rails at the same time and not wear oue eyeglass? Deborah— To pre­
I medicine has restored health receive a shock, but, as the car passes vent seeing more than they are able to
over, a powerful magnet underneath comprehend.
Irength at so little cost.
“ Ma, la there any pie left In the
troubled with scrofula and cam« attracts the button and In raising it
^ing my eyesight. For four months 1 establishes the circuit which suppllee pantry?” "There is one piece, but you
"Y ou are mistaken,
ot see to do anything. After taking the motor with enough of the essential can't have It.”
[ties of Hood’s Sarsaparilla I could see fluid to propel the car along the six­ ma; I ’ve had it.”
, and when I had taken eight bottles 1 teen feet of track to another point of
Fond Parent— I understand the fac­
lee as well as ever.” SusiB A. LI aius - contact. Tha saving of expenses In
ulty are very much pleased with your
pthers, N. C.
installation and maintenance over work. Dropped Junior— Yes, they en­
J’s S a r s a p a r illa p r o m is e s to
that of the old systems, the freedom cored my sophomore year.
*n d k e e p s th e p r o m is e .
from overhead wires which so seri­
"Grace, can you tell me what is
ously Interfere with the fighting of
meant by a cubic yard?”
" I don’t
fires In the cities, and the Immunity
T h e H a ir s o f th e H e a d .
know exactly, but I guess it’s a yard
haired people are less subject to from fatal shocks which It insures are that the Cuban children play in.”
than others. A doctor ex- factors which will no doubt bring
Old Grim— Remember, young man.
the matter thus: The hair of about Its rapid adoption.
there Is always room at the
top.
J-headed Is relatively thick, one
M e a n t W h a t It S a id .
Young Sprawley— Oh, I know that;
Jr being almost as thick as five
Mr. Leightou has none of the spirit I ’m waiting for the elevator uow.—
»* brown liairs. W ith SOUOOO V i i
of a bargnin-bunter, and Mrs. Leighton : Judge.
|he scalp Is well thatched, where-
decided that to have him accompany
Lord Littlecash (lovingly)— You are
1 the same number of fair hairs
her on one of her Monday expeditions my soul. Edith— Yes; I told papa that.
comparatively bald. It takes
wns more of a trial thuu a pleasure, In "Oh. what did he say?” “Said you
arly 100,000 fuir and 105,000 brown
spite of his capabilities as bundle-car­ didn’t earn enough to keep your soul
I r & o cover adequately an ordinary rier.
and body together.”
"Edw ard, I wish you would look at
Nurse— Johnny, stop asking your fa-
that golf vest and see if you don’t
C o n flic tin g E v id e n c e .
' ther so many questions.
Don’t you
Widow— I wonder why Minerva thluk It is exnctly, in every particular, | see it annoys him? Johnny— Why,
like the one we saw at Brown's. That
led the goddess of wisdom?
Bachelor— Probably because she was only $3.75, and this is $4.25. I ’m nurse, it's not the questions that make
him angry: it’s because be cau’t an­
Ifoolish enough to marry.
sure I don't know what they mean by
■Widow— Then why was Solomon, calling these bargains,” said Mrs. swer them.
a thousand wives, called the Leighton.
A husband said to his w ife:
“I
Iman?
“I can’t see that It says they are dreamed last night that I caught a man
running away with you.” “ What did
relatives of Premier Sedden of bargalus on that placard,” said Mr. you say?” she asked. “ I wanted to
^calund draw on an average of Leighton, In au uncomfortably clear
each in salary from the gov- tone. " It says, ‘These goods are being know what he w as running for.” re­
Bold regardless of cost,’ and probably plied the husband.
|t-
they are, my dear.”
Mrs. Closefist— Oh, do buy me a new
I Cure Is a good cough medicine,
bonnet, my dear. It will set all my
lured coughs and colda for forty
F a c 'i A b o u t Japan.
frieuds talking.
Closefist— I f you're
I A t druggists, 25 cents.
Among the Japanese one divorce after notoriety, why don't you get the
takes
place
for
every
four
marriages.
H total annual revenue of Russia,
old one retrimmed? That wili make
The Emperor of Japan is the direct your friends talk twice as much.
ig to the lost report, waa $1,-
descendant of the Emperor JImmu,
1,000.
" I see that choice Bengal tigers
who ascended the throne 2,504 years
have been marked down to $100 each."
L it t le W illie .
ago, making the dynasty older than
Mr. Oldboy, why do they say any other dynasty that exists or ever “ For goodness' sake, don't let my wife
read that paragraph. Here’s my knife.
in your second childhood?
did exist.
Willie!
Cut It out. If those tigers are on the
The
true
name
of
Korea
la
Choson,
Oh, I know; it’s because you
bargain counter she'd want at least
meaning
"Lan
d
of
the
Morning
Calm.”
Iheaded, just like baby Dick.—
two.”
It Is by this name that the country la
Transcript.
He (bitterly)— I f I were rich you’d
designated in diplomatic papers at the
marry me fast enough! She— Don’t,
ermanently c n rM . w o a u or net-sou.ness State Department in Washington.
Iter arstdsy’iu seofD r.K ltn e’sU rast Nerve
Japanese soldiers are fed on rice, Gussle, don’t! Such devotion breaks
, Send for F r e . . 2 trialbottlesnd trestlaw
He— W hat do you mean?
Kline. Ltd..St.1 Arch St.. I'tillad.lphla, Pa. salted fish, dried seaweed and pickled my heart!
plnms— a diet that is almost univer­ She— Often you have praised my
C o n tin u e d .
sal In Japan, except in the navy, where beauty, but never before my common
Jlprc told thnt, In many directions, rations of meat are served. Soldiers sense!
______ impossible which Is true. Per- are allowed meat when on campaigns,
“Hello, Freddie!
A re you playin’
apff Jie extravagance of the follow- hnt rarely eat It.
robber?”
“ Playin' nuthin'.
This is
______
told by the New York Times,
the real thing.
Pm waitin' for the
jay A l p vouch for its accuracy:
B a d a s a B u lle t.
cook, an’ when she comes she'll tell
A Spok club had engaged lu the
Hospital Physician— This man seems , where she hides the pies, or I ’ll know
If "Ham let.” But two meetings to be half dead, and yet I cannot find I the reason why.”— New York Evening
[ken place when one member anything tha matter with him. Where Journal.
is he from?
ither at an afternoon ten.
“John,” asked the lawyer’s wife,
Ambulance Driver— I got him at the
't you dying for the next meet-
door of the St. Fashion Assembly Hall. ' who had recently taken up the health
[ o f the club?” she asked,
There ie a ball going on there.
I culture fad, "Is It best to lie on the
i " I don’t know. Why?”
Physician— Ah, I see.
He probably right side or the left side?"
"M y
because we're studying ‘Ham stepped on a lady's dress and she laid
dear,” replied the legal luminary, " if
't you simply crazy to know “Sir!”
one is on the right side it isn’t usual­
I
nes out?”
ly necessary to lie at all.”
It A l l D e p e n d s.
Mrs. Youugwed— You know Uncle
“They tell me,” said the youth, “that
• MS
T h e Cauae or It.
Do you Plncher said he was going to send us
"W hat's the cause of all tliia twaddle men who work live longest.
something that would help us save
elevating the stage, I’d like to believe it?”
“ Well,” remarked the sage, ‘‘it de­ our coal bills this year? Well, it came.
xow?”
, "W ant to get it above the level of the pends a good deal on who they try to Mr. Youngwed— Really
A stock of
m ork.”
hats, I suppose.”
coal? Mrs. Youngwed— No. A little
arrangement for filing bills.
H e (as they were seated in a quiet
nook near the links)— Are you quite
sure we have never met before this
season? She— Yes; quite positive. He
— And you haven't a sister? She—
No; why do you ask? He— Well, I’m
positive I hugged that blouse before,
lls show the blood is in a riotous, feverish
somewhere.
Son, or that it has grow n too weak and slug-
Call a girl a chick, and she smiles;
throw off the bodily impurities, which
call a woman a hen, and she howls.
oncentrate at some spot, and a carbuncle
Call a young woman a witch, and she
or I l is the result. T o one already enfeebled
is pleased; call an old womnn a witch,
b jri
Base, boils seem to come with more frequency,
__
and she is indignant. Call a girl a
cas
4 the intensest pain and greatest danger to the already weak and kitten, and she rather likes It; call a
ated sufferer. A ll skin eruptions, from the sometimes fatal car- woman a cat, and she’ll hate you.
bun
i to the spiteful little cat-boil, are caused by bad blood, and the Queer sex. Isn’t it?—Chicago News.
only ivay to avoid or get permanently rid o f them is to purify and
Burglar— Gimme yer Jewels! Lady
|up the deteriorated, polluted blood, and counteract the humors of the House— Did you shut the win­
Disong; and nothing w ill do this so quickly and thoroughly as dow after you? A re you sure you
5., which is the acknowledged king o f blood purifiers and great- wiped your feet? W hat did you do
ill tonics. W here the blood has become impoverished and is with that burnt match? Did— Bur­
knd thin, no medicine acts so prom ptly in building up and restor- glar— E r— I— I guess I forgot It.
Don’t say another word, ma'am, an’
i richness, purity and
I ’ll go right out.— Chicago News.
A lle gh en y , F a., June 11,1003.
th. The time to cure
F rom tho a ge o f tw e aty or th irty I waa sorely
“Did 1 understand you to say that
is . before
it devel- — dieted
. .
w ith la r g e , a w fu l boils on ray face and.
■ h en it IS in a sta te body. A s soon a s thsy w o u ld heel up In one p.toe you didn’t have any company In the
kitchen
while I was out, Katie?”
lihuHon
they w o u ld bre a k o a t In another perl o f the body,
a Dation or formation , n(j thla continued for ten yeare. I tried every-
b lood ; fo r boils are, t h l n g l o o u ld h ear o f to get relief, b a t noth in g ••YU, mum, that’s what I said.” “ But
all n n lv fL „ im n n r i d id me a n y good. I h ad bu t little faith in S. S. 8. I smell the tobacco from a pipe all
» , only the impun- d o in g me good w h e n I began it, but after ta k in g through the house.’’ "Yls, mum; the
id poisons bubbling it for a short w h ile the b oils began to dlaeppeer, policeman was In for half an hour,
roncrh t h » t l l n
. „ J I continued on w ith tbe m edicine, ta k in g s ix bot-
rougn trie skin, and ties, an d a il the b o lls entirely d isappeared. F iv e mum. but we were In the drawing-
m l continue in spite years h ave elspsed since that tim e, end I have room.”
ultir inrr « m l 1-i n rim v never bean bothered since, sh ow ing that the cure
mticing and lancing WM perman. nt. i had some th irty or forty of
Economical; First farmer -Did they
blood gets rid o f the m ost p ainful b o ils one ever had, end to be hev fire-escapes at the hotel where
Cumulated p o i s o n . J“ « ,
ye slept. Zeke?
Second farmer—No.
ray to stop boils is you.
HEKBT zinn .
but It was the most eckernomical tav­
ern I ever seen.
First farmer—In
ck them in the.blood,
|iis is what S. S. S. does. A l l danger o f boils is past when the what way, Zeke? Second farmer—
has been thoroughly purified and the system cleansed o f all mor- Why. they had a rope hanging in ev­
pure matter. I f you are subject to boils, then the same causes ery room, so that you could commit
'oduced them last season w ill do so this, and the sooner you begin suicide without wastin’ tbe gas.— Phil­
to put your blood and system in good adelphia Telegraph.
H e Told H er at Last.— “There Is
order the better the chance o f going
something," be said, “that I hare want­
through the spring and summer season
ed to tell yon for a loDg time, but— ”
without boils or other painful and irri­ "Oh. Bertie,” she said, blushing sweet­
tating skin eruptions. S. S. S. is guar­ ly, "not here In the car before all these
anteed purely vegetable, and ■ can be people. Walt. Come thta evening.”
taken with perfect safety by old and ’’It’s merely that you have a streak
and without harm to the most delicate constitution. It it of soot down the middle o f your nose,
d pleasant in its action, and onequaled as a cure for boils and but I couldn't for the life of me get
eruptions. W rite as if you would like medical advice or other a word In till Just now."— Chicago Rec­
ion.
7MF MWJTT SPCCIFK CO.. ATLAMTA, GAm ord-Herald?
id’s Sarsaparilla
i
THE SCRAPPY LITTLE JAPPY.
When we first observed the yellow little
fellow from Jspan,
With bis satins, (lowers and silks we
grew acquainted.
W e Imagined him ae standing in a gar­
den with a fan.
Nigh a dainty paper maneion, nicely
painted.
But he offered no suggestion of a war­
ship or a gun.
Or a deed of martial valor, fiercely
scrappy;
Or the military neatness shown beneath
the rising sun
In the plucky little, lucky little Jappy.
A MICHIGAN MAYOR SAYS
“I Know
Pe-ru-na Is a Fine Tonic for a
Worn Out System.”
When first upon the Yaiu he destroyed
the poor Chinese,
He displayed for modern war a passion
ready.
He took to shells, torpedo boats and war­
ships with the ease
Of a spunky little duckliug in an eddy.
Later, when we stormed Pekin, the Jap
was first upon the grounds,
With a dash that made the god of war
feel happy—
You were sure a revelation to the mili­
tary nations,
Oh, you fiery little, wiry little Jappy.
Lately, when he bearded Russia with de­
mands to right a wrong.
W e remarked. "Be careful, kid— we
would advise, sir.
That the bear is fierce and shaggy, that
the Czar is cruel and strong—
Better look for something nearer to
your size, sir.”
But the youngster, like a demon, clutch­
ed the windpipe of the hear,
Till his mighty pawa were paralyzed
and frnppe.
Now her battleships lie battered, and her
banners torn and tattered,
By the spunky little, chunky little
Jappy.
— New York Globe.
BIRD
CAM E
TO
COM FORT
HER.
S tr a n g e S to r y T o ld b y J e w is h W om u n
M o u r u in g H e r llu s b u u d 's lle u th .
Mrs. Abram D. Dqvis, of 431» Ash­
land avenue, tells a strange story. H er
husband, who waa a prominent mer­
chant, died ten days ago, and she, in
accordance with the customs of the
Jewish religion, retired to a mourning
chamber with her sister-in-law, Mrs.
H. Frledeuberg, of Bradford. Pa.
The period of religious mouruing ex­
pired at 1) o'clock yesterday morning,
and just at that hour a bird as large
as a sparrow and as black as uigbt
flew out of the gas grate, which was
burning, and alighted at Mrs. Davis's
feet. Both women tried to scare the
bird away by waving their hands at
it, but It stayed three minutes, hop­
ped about ou a table and finally van­
ished through the front door.
Mrs. Davis, who had been grief
stricken because of the death of her
husband, to whom she bad been mar­
ried thirty years, became cheerful at
once. She tella her friends that It bore
a message direct from God telling her
that she should be comforted nud that
all would be well. An examination of
the chimney showed that the bird must
have come down the hot chimney
through a hole about an Inch squnre.
Small blackbirds are foreign to these
parts, and cynical persons say it must
have been a sparrow with a coat of
soot. But Mrs. Davis's story has crea­
ted a stir In the fashionable district
where she lives. One of the persons
who saw the bird is a Mr. Bornstein,
of 121 West One Hundred and Four­
teenth street. New York, and he cor­
roborates the story of its strange
movements. Ranbl Anron of Temple
Beth Zion has heard the story. H e
expressed delight at Mrs. Davis’s com­
fo r t — New York Sun.
SACRED RUSSIAN IMAGE.
Hon. Nelson R ice o f S t. Joseph, M ic h ., know s o f a large n u m b er o t
g ra te fu l patients In his cou n ty w ho have been cured by Peruna.
Hon. Nelson Rice, Mayor of St. Joseph, Michigan, writes:
The Peruna Medicine Co., Columbus, Ohio;
Gentlemen : “ 1 wish to congratulate you on the success of your efforts
to win the confidence of the public in need of u reliable medicine.
I know
Peruna is a fine tonic for a w orn out system and a specific in cases of ca­
tarrhal difficulties. You have a large number of grateful patients in this
county who have used Peruna and have been cured by It, and who praise
It above all other medicines. Peruna has my heartiest good w ish es.” —
Nelson Rice.
MARCH, APRIL, MAY
Weak Nerves, Poor Diges­
tion, Impure Blood,
Depressed Spirits.
The sun has just crossed the equator
on its yearly trip north. The teal
equator is shifted toward the north
nearly eighteen
miles every
day.
W ith the return of the sun comes the
bodily ills peculiar to spring.
With
one person the nerves are weak; anoth­
er person, digestion poor; with others
the blood is out of order ; and still oth­
ers have depressed spirits and tired
feeling.
A ll these things are especially true
of those who have been suffering with
J a r rin g
catarrh in any form or la grippe. A
course of Peruna is sure to corioct all
these conditions. It is an ideal spring
medicine. Peruna does not irritate—
it invigorates— it
strengthens.
It
equalizes the circulation ot the blood,
tranquilizes the nervous system and
regulates the bodily functions.
Peru­
na, unlike so many spring medicines is
not simply a physic or stimulant or
nervine. It ia a natural tonic and in-
vigorstor.
If you do not receive prompt and sat­
isfactory results from the use of Peru­
na, write at once to Dr. Hartman, giv­
ing a full statement of your case, and
he will lie pleased to give you his valu­
able advice gratis.
Address Dr. Hartman, President of
The Hartman Sanitarium, Columbus,
Ohio.
HOWARD E. BURTON, Assayer and Chemist
a n A c to r.
“What did you think of my death
scene?” asked the actor.
"W ell, it seemed to me it came a little
too late in,the piece,” was the reply.—
Chicago Evening Post.
Specim en prices, « o ld , S ilv e r ,L e a d .#1; « o ld , Sil­
ver,7>c; Gold, 50c; Z in c or Copper, f I. C yanide tests.
M ailin g envelopes and full p ricelist sent on applica­
tion. C ontrol and U m pire w ork solicited. L e a d «
v l l l e , C o l o . R eferen ce Carbonate iia t ’ l Bank.
BUY
M others w i ll find M rs. W in slo w s’s Soothing
■ y ru p the best rem edy to use fo r th eir ch ild re n
d u r in g th e teeth in g period..
A drop of blood whieh might hang
from the point of a needle contains
1,000,000 red flattened corpuscles.
_
LIQUOR-MORPHINE-TOBACCO
HABITS PERMANENTLY CURED
• — FOR PULL PAATKULARS —
m m u rw m u ^
OILS
The president of the Republic of An­
dorra, in the Pyrenees, gets the smallest
salary paid by any civilized government.
It ia only $15 a year, and he thinks of
asking for a ten per ceut increase, which P R O M
would make it $16.50.
R A M ID S O F P A IN
8 4 . 00 , 8 3 . 5 0 , 8 3 . 0 0 . 82.50
V a 'g ? S H O E S t h dce & K o .
The INTERNAL REMEDY
No U m Exists it Will Not C or*
(le ttin g W a te r.
Oil or Coal w ith
A U S T IN W E L L D R IL L S
M ade in a ll ai/es and
■tyles.
W rite for C ata
logues and list of users in
he W est.
Talk la cheap— unleaa you ara ualng
D o u g la a a s « * C o ro n a C o ltsk ln , w h ic h Is
e v e r y w h e r e c o n c e d e d t o b e ttie finest r » t e n t
L e a t h e r yet p r o d u c e d . East Color E ye let e used.
Shoes by m*(i,2S centN ertra. Write for Catalog.
W . L. D O UG LAS, Brockton, M an .
313 Com m er­
cial Block.
PORTLAND.
ORE.
P. N. U.
No. tt-1904.
I t X T H E N w r i t i n g t o a d v e r t is e r * p l e a e J l
I f f
m e n tio n t h is p a p e r .
I
"B E E LINE” BUGGIES
A re not m an u factu rers
re g u la r co n structlon „but
Our Own Special Construction
Put up with full knowledge of the re­
quirements of this rough western coun­
try. Made to stand up, and will stand
np, better than any buggy sold at any­
thing like the price, if you want a
good buggy at a moderate price, try onr
” Bee Line.” You can’t beat It. W e
have the “ Bee L in e ” Road Wagons.
C oat o f E le c t r ic L ig h ts .
a long-distance telephone.
8old Everywhere.
; Look for numfl and price on bottom.
Baili « Ci.
D iv o rc e D iffic u lt in C a n a d a .
The coat of city electric lights ranges
from 2 to 3 cents an hour a lamp.
W .L . Douglas shoes
are worn by more
men than any other
make. The reason
is, they hold their
shape,litbetter,wear
longer, and have i
g r e a t e r intrinsic
value than any
other shoes.
YOU CAN U R N
S25.00 PER OAY
In Canada there are but two things
which can dissolve marriage— death
and infidelity.
An applicant for di­
vorce must act under the provisions of
a law marked at every step by the
most rigorous limitations. I f a man
or a woman— for the requirements are
the same— wlahe* to aerate a divorce,
a formal notice, giving tbe names of
applicant
and
accused
with
the
ground for accusation, must be Insert­
ed for six months In two newspapers
published in the town or city where
the applicant resided at the time of
separation. No court of law has any­
thing to do In granting divorce. To ob­
tain divorce the applicant muat go to
the Dominion Parliament.
The di­
vorce« In a generation hava not aver­
aged over three a year.
O B A L E R
W. L. DOUGLAS
Perrin’s Pile Specific
The Ikon that is to be carried by the
Russian army in Manchuria is the
most sacred of the Kremlin's treasures.
The painting represents the Virgin as
she appeared to 8t. Sergius, and in
accordance with Russian custom the
picture Is covered with precious stones.
This ikon Is the same that accom­
panied Alexis, Peter the Great, and
Alexander I. and was with their ar­
mies In every big battle.
Y O U R
M IT C H E L L ,
3 0 0 F M rW * S t r M t ,
»
P O
K A IN B
L E W I8
*
8TAVEH
P O R T IA N D ,
H r .n c h ..I —
S K A T T L B
CO.
O R B O O iN
n o i s i i