TALK IMMIGRATION
Speakers at Irrigation Congress
Have Various Ideas.
m MORE LAWLESS FOREIGNERS
Irish, of California, Would Close Our
Gates Tight, and Give Amer
cans a Chance,
Koine, Sept. fi. Vice President
W. Hhurlllffe, of Ogden, presided
at
the opening of tliia morning's session
of the National Irritation congress
renator barter having returned to
Montana, Govern ir Albert K. Mead,
ui wanmiigiuii, later was calloa to the
chair and Governor Chamberlain, of
Oregon, presided a part of the day.
William K. McAllister, of Denver,
the fliit speaker, deslt with the immi
gration question and rained issues that
Involved the congress in most earnest
discussion. The ('oloradoan advocated
foreign immigration, and an a model to
be followed urged the methods of the
Mormon church in settling the valleys
of Utah and adjoining ntaten. Under
the methods of the Mormon church
tin fie immigrants had been drawn from
the agricultural classes of Northern
Jiurope, from the Itest of the hard work
ing peasants.
lion. John P. Irish, of California,
asked the congress if it would not be
better to clone the country's gates to
the more than KOOO.OOO of foreign im
migrants who were coming annually
and give the youth of our own land a
higher opportunity. The Califernlan
declared that the immigration today
was not a patriotic immigration, but a
parasitic immigration
C. W. Molt, of Kt. Paul, general Im
migration agent of the Northern Pacific
railroad, agreed with Colonel Irinh . lie
said the Northern Pacific's success in
peopling the territory traversed by
their lines had been in the Kantern
taten, nut in foreign lands. The kind
of immigration wanted had been found
in the Kantern states, and 76,000 of
these, neatly all American citizens,
bad been nettled in the Northwest dur
ing the paut year. The law less immi
gration from even Kurope, lie believed,
wan nut wanted.
W. Keidt, a foreign born delegate
from Oregon, praised the foreign immi
grant, who wan needed in the upbuild
ing of the country. The trouble with
Americano, he mid, was that they were
all looking for "soft jobs."
PEACE MOVEMENT STARTED.
All Parties Holding Conferences With
View to Ending Revolt.
Havana, Sept. 6. Peace is in the
air, and on all sides tonight there is
hope that matters will be arranged be
tween the government and the insur
gents so as to avoid further bloodshed.
However, there has been no tangible
advance toward an agreement or to a
definite arrangement for negotiations.
In the meantime, fighting has been
practically suspended. Delegates, in
formally chosen by a small group of
veterans started today to the camps of
Pino Guerrera, Colonel Asert, General
Guzman and others of the insurgent
leaders with the purpose of learning
what will be acceptable to the actual
fighting leaders of the revolution. A
eimilar committee started for Cienfue
gns to consult, under a flag of truce,
with the insurgeut leaders iu Santa
Jlara province.
I.ate thin afternoon General Menncal,
General Cehreco an I other veterans
held a conference with Alfredo Zeyas,
the leader of the Liberal party, which,
iiowever, did not result in reaching any
understanding. At the same time the
executive committee of the Moderate
party was holding a conference at
which the subject of peace was excited
ly discussed, although no determina
tion was reached.
Fighting Ancient War.
Madrid, Bept. 0. The newspaper
Kspana Nueva, in the course of a fresh
attack today on the conduct of the
Spanish-American war, states that Gen
eral Linares, the Spanish commander
at Santiago, asked Admiral Cervera to
land a few guns to supplement the in
adequate defenses at the Morro Castle
and La Socapa. The admiral sent two
fcuns but General Linares did not at
tempt to mount these guns until the
sortie of Admiral Cervera'a squadron,
when he found the breech locks had
been lost.
Igorrote Hunt Indicted.
Memphis, Sept (J. Two indictments
have been returned against Dr. T. K.
Hunt on the testimony of Feola and
Dengay, two full blooded Igorrotes,
members of the band which visited the
city some time ago, charging "larceny"
and "larceny from the person," which
are felonies under the state laws. Dr.
Hunt has been arrested in Chicago and
will be brought back to Memphis to
stand trial. He was in charge of the
band of Igorrotes a year ago.
Train Wrecked by Dynamite.
Ironwood, Mich., Sept. 6. A dyna
mite outrage, resulting in the wreck of
a Wisconsin Central ore train, occurred
here yesterday The engineer and fire
man had close calls from death. The
dynamite had been placed on the tracks
with the Intention oi wrecking a pas
euger train.
PINCHOT ON FOREST RESERVES
Chief Forester Explain to Irrigation
Ists Government's Scheme.
Boise, Sept. 4. The policy of with
drawing vaKt areas of the public domain
from entry under the land laws in order
to create forest reserves or eonierve the
water supply for purpose of Irrigation,
which has been vigorously opposed by
influential Interests in the West, had
its deenders and opponents at tonight's
sennlon of the National Irrigation con
gress. United States Senator Carter, of
Montana, the presiding oflicer, gave a
brief outline of the leglilation enacted
by congreM giving to the prenldent of
the United States the extraordinary
authority to exorcise his discretion in
setting apart such reservations. He
made the declaration that it could be
set down as the definite purpose of the
national congress not only to stop fur
ther destruction of the forests, but to
set aside reserves'on which new timber
may grow and where the headwaters of
the streams may be conserved.
Mr. Pinchot stated that the policy of
President Koonevelt was "to givs every
part of the public lands their very best
one. ' I lie problem he said, was one
of the most difficult, and one in which
the forest service "had made lots of
mintakes." Piobably it would contin
ue to make mistakes, he said, but the
ffort wan to study, in connection with
the people, the question of method by
which all parts of the public reserve
can be put to the bent une. These re
serves to a certain extent control the
stock buninens of the West, he said, for
the chief summer range is in the re
serve, ihe stockmen could not be
kept off en.'irely at the demand of the
irrigationists, nor could the service
let them have free run of the reserves.
Ho you see," said Mr Pinchot,
"that the forester stands in the middle
and he gets it coming and going."
The speaker stated that some reserves
were practically without trees and one
in Kansas was without a single tree
facts which had been the subject of
much criticism but it was the purpose
to put trees there and to restore the
grass on the range. The service, he
said, had the biggest job of tree plant
ing on the face of the earth.
Mr. Pinchot gave the number of
rangers in the service as 1,137 and the
supervisors as numbering 105. Under
the laws ol Prussia, he said, the same
reserves would be controlled by 110,000
rangers and 12,000 supervisors.
Senator Heybum was called to the
platform and immediately launched in
to a bitter attack on the administra
tion's forestry policy. Some of the
delegates were with Heybnrn; a far
larger element stood by Roosevelt and
Pincho. Once, when Heybnrn n ale a
particularly unjust criticism of the
president, he was hissed from all parts
of the convention hall and forced to
suspend.
When the hissing began to subside,
Heybnrn, mad through and through,
and waving his arms furiously, roared
at the audience:
"Hiss, you geese, hiss."
The hissing was renewed, and when
it had again subsided, Heybum
shouted:
"Don't try that on me, I am too old
a stager to be scared. You will listen
to what say."
REVOLUTION CONTINUES.
Two Thirds of People Said to Sym
pathize With Insurgents.
Havana, Sept. 5. As days and weeks
pass with no appreciable diminution of
the revolution, apprehension increases.
The most conservative testimony from
the country district of the provinces of
Pinar del Rio, Havana and Santa Clara
is to the effect that two-thirds of the
people in the country and small towns
of these three provinces are insurgents
in sentiment if not in fact. It is gen
erally believed that the government ul
timately will subdue the insurrection,
but in the meantime the crops cannot
be developed, and it is a grave question
whether the rebellious spirit even then
can be actually quelled to the extent of
restoring the country to a normal self
governing status.
A realisation of this is the cause of
the renewal of efforts for the restora
tion of peace. General Mario Menocal,
whom the people trust as one capable
of bringing the warring factions to
gether, if such a thing is possible, rame
to Havana today and held two confer
ences with President Palma. General
Menocal after the conference absolutely
refused to make any statement.
Would Quash Indictment.
Findlay, Ohio, Sept. 5.- A hearing
on motion to quash the information
filed against John D. Rockefeller as
the responsible head of the Standard
Oil company by Piosecutor David was
heard here today in Probate Judge
Banker's court, ii Klein represented
the Standard company, and the gist of
his arguments was that the Standard
Oil company could be criminally prose
cuted only under an indictment found
by a regularly constituted grand jury.
Prosecutor David argued in support of
the informations.
.
Bauer to Beat Down Revolt.
St. Petersburg, Sept. 6. The situa
tion in the Shusha, Javenshir and
other districts of Southeastern Cauca
s is, where Tartar-Armenian hostilities
are in full sway, have grown bo serious
that the viceroy has eusperseded Gene
ral Golochtkapoff, governor general of
Elizabetbpol province, by Ganeral
Bauer, whose name was coupled with
that of General Alikhanoff in connec
tion with the strong methods by which
order was restored in the Caucasus.
Brazil's Generous Gift to Chile.
Santiago de Chile, Sept. 5. The
government of Brazil has appropriated
$300,000 toward the fund for the relief
of the Chilean earthquake sufferers.
IRRIGATIONIST MEET
fourteenth Annual Session Con
venes at Boise.
FAIRBANKS THE GUEST OF HONOR
Vice President of United States Given
Cordial Reception Delegates
From Many States.
Boise, Idaho, Sept. 3. -Boise Is fill
ed with people and filled with enthu
siasm. The city gates have been
thrown open and hosts of visitors from
all parts of the West have poured in by
the trainload to attend the 14th annual
session of the National Irrigation con
gress and have a good time. Notwith
standing the big crowd, the biggest
Boise ever saw, the citizens are happy,
for their congrens bids fair to be the
most successful ever held.
The first day of the congress passed off
according to schedule. Speeches, nu
merous but brief, all dealt with the
subject uppermost in the minds of the
people irrigation and home building
in the arid Went. Prenident Roose
velt's letter, read by Gifford Pinchot,
was the keynote, and ttie talk of Vice
President Fairbanks followed along the
lines of that letter.
Fairbanks was the star attraction at
the congress. He was greeted by hun
dreds prior to and afier the meetings,
and at the public reception tonight was
tendered a typical Western welcome.
His Bpeech this morning made a decid
ed hit, demonstrating to the congress
that the vice president, like the presi
dent, had given an ear to the demands
of the people of the West and stands
ready to lend them a helping band at
every turn.
It is the intention of a certain ele
ment to push the $100,000,000 idea at
the subsequent sessions of the congress.
Fred J. Keisel, of Salt Lake, is the
principal promoter of this idea, but
there is little liklihood the congress
will suppo't him. President Roosevelt
in his letter very clearly expresses his
disapproval of the scheme, stating in
plain language that there must be no
direct appropriation for the construc
tion of government irrigation works
until the present national irrigation
law has been proven a success and
money invested has been returned to
the Federal treasury.
GREAT FLEET IN REVIEW.
Pres'dent Roosevelt See America's
Naval Strength.
Oys'er Bay, Sapt. 4. Under skies
that broke brilliantly blue before a
whistling westerly wind which swept
down Long Island sound and blew out
to sea the sullen clouds and tempestu
oub ralna wihch threatened immeasura
bly to mar the spectacle, President
Roooevelt yesterday, within hailing
distance of his summer home, reviewed
the most magnificent naval fleet ever
assembled under the American flag.
Forty-five of the most splendid types of
fighting vessels afloat lay at anchor in
three long columns as the naval yacht
Mayflower, which just a year ago was
written into history as the meeting
ground of Russia and Japan, passed up
and down the lines, the president an
applauding spectator on the bridge.
The Mayflower's journey was made
amid a continuous boom of saluting
cannons, and gun atfer gun spoke the
navy s honor to the commander in chief
of all America's military forces.
The 45 vessels are all within range
of Sagamore and could train 1,178 guns
on the summer residence of the presi
dent. Indeed, they roared out to him
tremendous salute as. he came among
them on the Mayflower and last night
they painted the hieroglyphics of peace
on the sk,y with their searchlights for
his edification.
The tl jet reviewed by the president
consisted of 12 battleships, four ar
mored cruisers, five monitors and un
protected cruisers, six torpedo boat de
stroyers, six torpedo boats and two
submarine boats.
Rebels Search All Trains.
Havana, Sept. 4. The Cuban Cen
tral Railway company today made pub
Ho announcement that it would no
longer accept freight or merchandise
for transfer over its lines except at own
er's risk. It is stated that thia ia nec
essary because nearly all of its trains
are held up and their cargoes inspected
oy armed bands of insurgents. Late
tonight the government learned that
400 insurgents had entered the town
of Calabazar, in Santa Clara province,
had confiscated a quantity of arms and
taken many bead of horses.
Navy Yard Men in Union.
New York, Sept. 4. Employes in
navy yards, naval stations, arsenal and
gun factories, today formed a national
organisation here and elected officers.
The declaration of principles contains:
Adopt and put into operation an
effective plan for keeping the employes
more steadily employed by having the
men in the different crafts join hands,
in order that the best interests of the
government and the employes can be
Berved."
No Hope for the Sheridan.
Washington, Sept. 4. Dispatches re
ceived today at the War department
from Honolulu indicate that the trans.
port Sheridan cannot be raved. She ia
nearly filled with water and her englnea
are flooded and useless.
REVOLT GROWING RAPIDLY.
Santigo in Rebellion Insurgents Con
trol Santa Clara Province.
Havana, Sept. 4. The situation here
In lar darker than at any previous time
since the insurrection broke out. News
of an uprising In 'Santiago province,
wniie not yet published here, is spread
Ing about the city and caus'ng the
gravest concern. When Mr. Sleeper,
the American charge d'affaires here,
was told the contents of an Associated
I resn Santiago dispatch, he endeavored
to verify it through the State depart
ment, but wan told it was absolutely
untrue. Subsequently it was rerifled
from private newspaper sources. The
extent of the rising in Santiago is not
known, but it is the opinion here that
the worst calamity of all to the Palma
government would be an insurrection
in Eastern Cuba.
The Associated Press was informed
tonight by two reliable eyewitnesses
that Cardenas, which hitherto has been
considered a perfectly peaceful citv.
was the scene yesterday of desultory
fighting between police and rural
guards on one side and roving insur
gents on the other.
The only province remaining per
fectly peaceful is Puerto Principe.
The Associated Press c respondent
at Cienfuegos telegraphed tonight that
there are 3,000 armed insurgents in
that vicinity and that all the small
towns in Santa Clara province are con
trolled by insurgents, who attack and
loot trains anil seize the property of
foreigners as well as that of Cubans.
Trinidad is surrounded by insurgents,
and the government appears powerless
to protect the property of Americans
and other foreigners. Railway trains
are held up at will, and passengers
searched. The Cuban Central railroad
has declined to assume responsibility
for the safety of paisengers or freight.
Recruiting for government forces is
making good progress here. The gov
ernment continues to make fine bead-
way wherever there is open fighting.
The troops in the western part of
Pinar del Rio have not yet come up
with Pino Guerrera, and, according to
the Associated Press correspondent
with the troops, there is no present
likelihood of their doing so, as the
troops might march for ten years and
all the while Guerrera would be just
ahead of them in the hills. There
are thousands of mount ain trails with
which the insurgents are familiar and
which lead in all directions. If Guer
rera cared to harass the government, its
troops could re killed off by abarp-
shooters. The government has no cav
alry in Picar del Rio, and the only
real soldiers are the artillerymen, Dot,
as they are on foot, they cannot cope
with the well mounted veterans on the
insurgent side.
FREEZE OUT FOREIGNERS.
American and British Merchants Fear
Enmity of China.
Victoria, B. C, Sept. 4. Advices re
ceived from Pekin by the steamer Tar
tar tell of increasing anti-foreign mach
inations. The correpondent of the lo-
kio Mainichi reports that Tung Saoyi
vice minister of foreign affairs, is tak
ing advantage of bia growing influence
in the government to strengthen the
powers of Chinese who have been ap
pointed directors of customs, having
the support of the an i-foreign element
among the Chinese.
The correspondent says American and
British communities are much in
censed at the Chinese attitude, Ameri
cans in particular feeling great anxiety
as to the future course of events in
China. The Pekin police have in
structed Chinese that no premises of
any kind must be rented to foreigners.
The same correspondent says that the
Chineee comiesioners who have re
turned from travele abroad have had a
conference with the emperor and em
press dowager and the decision was
reached to formulate a constitution for
China.
The Asahi'a correspondent says dras
tic changes in the central and provin
cial administrations are contemplated.
At Pekin there will be a premier and
two general secretaries to control the
eight state departments and in each
vine royalty the administration will be
divided into seven sections. Chitung
Chou Fuh is quoted to the effect that
the constitutional government in
China will be established in the course
of from 10 to 15 years.
Swam the English Channel.
London, Sept. 4. It ia reported at 1
o'clock thia morning from Dover that
T. W. Burgess, the swimmer, who at
tempted yesterday to swim the chan
nel, has landed near Calais after 17
hours in tie water. Another report
ia that he ia within but three miles of
the French cost. On account of the
heavy fog which covers the channel
Dover people fear for the awimmer'e
safety. Burgess has tried three times
to awim the channel, failing each time.
He says be can do it, and ia determined
that he will.
Plotting Against Mexico.
Tuecon, Ariz , Sept. 4. Collis Hum
bert, a Frenchman, and Leonardo Vil
lareat and Bruno Trevino, Mexicans,
were arrested early today at Mowry and
Pitagonia, mining camps, where many
miners are employed. The arrests were
made by Immigration Inspector Mur
phy and Rangera Olds and Clark. It
is charged that the men are agitators
who are attempting to organize a force
of Mexican miners to attack Nogales,
Sonora.
Warning of More Bombs.
St. Petersburg, Sept. 4. The woman
who assassinated General Min still re
fuses to disclose her identity, but she
admits that ber passport ia false and
baa warned ber jailera that St. Peters
burg ia on the eve oi a series of acts ol
terrorism.
A Little Lesson
In Patriotism
"I.ct our objwt be our country, our
whole country, and nothing but our
country." - Daniel Webster.
With the name of W'llllnm Lloyd
Garrison and John Brown must be re
called the name of Gerrlt Smith. He
wan oue of the most
ardent supporters
of the Anti-Slavery
Society, not only
writing for the
cause and contrib
uting time and
money, but taking
pert In all IU con
ventions and per
sonally assisting
the fugitive. He
was temperate In
all the discussions,
holding that the
OXBBIT SMITH. Nort w , p.
ner In the guilt of the crime of slavery
and that In the event of emancipation
without war the North should besr a
portion of the expense.
The attempt to force slavery on Kan
sas convinced him. however, thnt the
day for considering peaceful emanci
pation was pant. He then advocated
whatever measure of force might be
necessary.
He gave large sums of money to free-
soli settlers to Kansas. He was charg
ed with belnsr an accessory to the af
fair at Harper's Ferry, but It was
shown that be had given money to
Brown only, as he did to ncores of
other men In the cause, and that a
far as he knew Brown's scheme tried
to dlHcoursge him from It
It is characteristic of Smith that he
should have been one of the three sign
ers of the ball-bond of Jefferson Davis.
He was a man to whom the welfare of
the whole country wns dear and who
did his best to aid the cause of human
ity. During his lifetime he gave away
to philanthropic and humanitarian en
terprises $S,OOO.0OO. Chicago Journal.
OUR SECRET SERVICE FORCE.
Marked Development of Thia
11 ranch of Government.
There Is probably no system of po
lice In the world that Is qulte'llke the
nlted States Secret Service, of which
John E. Wilkle U the chief. Mr. Wll
kle Is proiHTly classed among the men
who do things from the fact that he
has built this little branch of the Uul-
CHIEF JOHN E. WII.RIE.
ted States government up to a standard
which places It on a par with the best
police forces in the couutry.
In a country where men vote and
have a voice lu the choice of their rul
ers, there is less or political crime
against the state than lu European
countries, where men are dragged from
home and fireside and confined to dun
geons for years to expiate crimes that
are considered as nothing on this side
of the water. For Instance, a German
paper that came to the newspaper of
fices on this side less than a month
ago contained a long account about a
Germaa who wns sentenced to six
months In a military prison because he
drew a picture of his Emperor lying In
bed snoring. Under the picture was the
caption, "Wake up to the needs of your
people, oh, sleepy head."
This picture was found pasted on a
dead wall In a small city and the se
cret service bureau spent some time In
tracing the crime to the perpetrator.
Happily the secret service in this coun
try Is not called upon to trace the au
thorship of cartoons against the Presi
dent. If it were, Its force would have
little time to do anything else.
The secret service through Its chief
keeps In touch with the big police sys
tems of other countries and iu that way
Is able to follow the movements of so-
called duugerous Anarchists who may
be sent to this country to take the life
of the President. The currency of the
country Is guarded against counterfeit
ers and In a thousand ways the secret
service proves Its value every day.
FOOD HURT HIS FEELINGS.
Gentlemanly Bewar Would Take
Cash, bat lietused to Eat.
Apparently he was In need of some
one to extend a helping hand, or a hand
out, to him, but he had the Instinct of
gentleman, although his clothes were J
il
V
....'i; i ; ..; ti .4
severs! shades the worse for wear, say
the New York Tribune.
"I beg your pnrdon," snld he to n
pedestrian who was giving a llfe-nlzt
demonstration of a New Yorker who
had an engagement to meet and Just
half time enough to meet It; "I don't
want you to give me any money, but
could you take me In somewhere and
get me a bite to eat?"
"Certainly," was the reply. Then he
added, sympathetica lly, "you haven't
had anything to eat In two days, hnve
you? Come alon and I'll fix you out."
The victim of hearties capital wa
somewhat surprised at ttie cordiality of
his reception, but admitted that he had
been fasting for the length of time nam
ed. He followed eagerly for half a
block and then began to hang back. Th
would-be philanthropist observed this
deflection and assumed that the poor
fellow was weakened by starvation, a
It must be especially difficult for a
starring man to carry his 180 pound
at a rapid pace.
"I don't want to Inconvenience yoa
any, sir." said the mendicant, noting
the sympathetic look, "and If you're In
a hurry and don't want to stop yon
could let me have a quarter and I "
"Oh, I don't mind at all about the
time; I'm not particularly busy Jut
now and as I have the Indigestion my
self I have a notion to nee how a hun
gry man eats Just for old-time's sake."
They went on for another half-block.
but this time the falling off In the hun
gry man's speed was too noticeable to
be ascribed to mere physical weakness,
and when the benefactor turned again
the unfortunate one said:
"You're a gentleman and can under
stand how I feel. Don't you think It
would be more considerate not to humil
iate a poor fellow by advertising bin
poverty In a restaurant Just because
he's down and out? If you could let
me have the money I could walk Into
the restaurant like a man and retain
my self-respect."
The man addressed could not see H
that way, however, and when he turned
around a moment later he was pained
to observe that his hungry friend had
become lost In the crowd.
TmoroTed the Shfnln- Hoar.
"Sometimes," said Mrs. Marchmont,
ruefully, "I wish people wouldn't apolo
gize for their children's misdeeds, but
w-ould spend the time spanking the chil
dren." "You speak with feeling." returned
the good woman's husband. "What's
the trouble?"
"Why," returned Mrs. Marchmont.
"right after breakfast this morning
Mrs. Sniffen came in with one of my
very best tulips In her baud. As near
ly as I can remember, this is what she
said :
" 'O Mrs. Marchmont! I'm so asham
ed of my little Edward that I don't
know what to do. He came right Into
your yard and picked this perfectly
lovely tulip, and I left him on your
horseblock and came right In to apol
ogize. I've told him time and again
that he musn't pick flowers out of oth
er people's gardens, but he's always do
ing It I don't know what you'll think
of him. He Isn't a bad child, but be
does love to pick flowers. And your
tulip-bed Is always so pretty that It
seems Just a shame to pick even a sin
gle blossom. I know bow much you
think of It and how much time and
money It takes to have a pretty gar
den.' That's the way she talked."
"I don't see," returned Mr. March
mont, "that there was anything out of
the way about that."
"There wasn't," returned the owner
of the tulip-bed, sadly. "But while his
mother was apologizing for that one
blossom Edward picked all the rest"
Harvey' and the Oyater.
Washington has now lost her most
accomplished restauranteur In George
Washington Harvey, whose establish
ment on Pennsylvania avenue has long;
enjoyed a national reputation, more
particularly for Its choice oysters and
the manner In which they were served
there. Once uioii a time the writer oC
this paragraph went Into Harvey's res
taurant and ordered some oysters on
the shell. They were promptly served,
but they did not present so plump an
appearance as the wrttor had been
accustomed to, and Harvey's attention
was called to the fact.
"I understand your difficulty," said
he; "those oysters are opened on the
deep side of the shell Inside of on the
shallow side, ond they don't look to
you as plump as those you have been
accustomed to. I presume you are from
Boston. That Is the only place I know
of where they habitually open oyster
on the shallow- shell and thus lose all
their natural Juice." Boston Herald.
Had Another Gneaa.
The wUe doctor takes his patient's
pedigree first. It saves embarrass
ments, such as, for Instance, that of
the physician who was waited upon by
a man who confessed to playing in a
local brass band. Shortness of breath
was the trouble In his case. The doc
tor said:
"Ah, that accounts for It. That bras
baud is the very worst thing for you.
You'll have to give it up at once. What
Instrument do you play?"
"The big drum," came the unexpect
ed answer.
An Opinion.
"Don't you think that members of
Congress ought to receive more compen
sation?" "Some ought to got more," answered
Senator Sorghum, 'and some ought to
be contributing to the conscience fund.'
Washington Star.
No wonder some men never have
money ; th.dr pockeU Lave holes at botb.
euda