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About Bohemia nugget. (Cottage Grove, Or.) 1899-1907 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 21, 1904)
No Appetite Means loss of vitality, vigor or tono, and Is often, a pro cursor of prostrating sick ness. This is why it is serious. Tho bcsL tiling you can do is to tako tho great altcrativo and tonic Hood's Sarsaparilla Winch has cured thousands. rmnnnl la Hrnllng. Com nir-nl ircinril in niiy one of n linlf iliitrn tmlutnlilo mill ttlKratlliln ways linn Iicimi tli-iiiiiiialrntisl In lm rli'lii'r In lirnt nulla t Jin it nlmiiot nliy oilier food Unit -t to th onlliin rj- tulilc. In n liiilli-lln IkkiikI liy Hie Mlclilk'iiii Acrlriiltimil CiiIIckk the fuel ThH' of rnni til en I snuvi'ly run llml apiu't on n iiik if I In- niiiiilitit fur II i'lirilin In n Iiiiik liliick linn Hint lina In ilimlilr linck iiinii llHilf twice In OhllT In allow tin' II.ikki rnlorli-pi Unit r In II vi' iiiiiiiiiU of llm atilistmiri. V.Kit, sirloin ali'iik, hi'i'f rllix, milk, rliriw, mill uvcii tint viiuiiliil licnii I nk i' liliiro fur lini'k finin tin- alili. of mm mini In iiiilrlllvu viiIiiii when the nwt U cuimtili'mL A tnlilii from t til n ili-in-oinlriillim In phrlliMiliirly Inton-iilliiir, liiiatil iiiini lliu iiii'iiillliirn nf III cents nt llm niiirki't trli'M of tlui coiiiino.il Ufa. Thin 10 ci'iiln vnitip, with fiirn IlK'lll At tho lop, la ua fnllmva: I'mimls for IImiI , lUiTiita, nulla. Corn rural A n.m.i Itiillrr wlii-st (tour i T.tui list mml iminit flour 4 Nwlia 2 3 t.imt I'l'UlOT. in t.n.i Hii(lr 2 II Hal mil porn ti 3.NH Unltcr .12 1.1. I Milk SSX -l.W.I Cttw im 'l.'.i.i llf.nii.l ili-ali .Ml ai nii-r tin KlrMu aleak .IIS .W Sal Doing Ornat Work. rinrlmiit, Mo.. I ),-.-. 10. (Hpt-clnl) That DocnI'h Klilnvy I'lll run ilnlni; KH'Kt work In curltiK tlio tnoru trrrl lilv forma uf Klitnny Ilmn, inch llrllilit'a I)laaim, Dropay mil Iilalwle, rvi-rjlMnly knowa. Hut It mini lo Ixi notrd ttinl llioy art- doing a still grcutrr work In wlplnn nut tlimxirands ol rnn ol tlio miller tn of Kl'lncy Dltiaiie. Titkn for Instance Mrs. lVU-r Ilattniiii, f tliln pine. Hliu aitys: "I liavn Im-cii aiilijrct to pallia in try lock ami kni-w (or hIkiiiI llitro yrarc Imt alni'f I linvn Ix-ori taking DoM's Klilm-y I'llli I liuvu Unit entirely Clltlfl." Olliorn In-ro lull Mmilar stnrUxi. In fart, In tlila part ol M if mill r I tlirrc urn aeons of noplu who liatu rurtsl tlu iwrly aymptoina of Knlucy Dlwnfn w itli Dodil'n Kidney Nils. Tlio u of tlio flrwtt American Klilnny Itruieily tlma wtvwl not only tlio live of Kidney !! eaixi vli tiiiif, hut tliuiisainls of ollior Alncrlciini I rum yisir of atlfferltiga. Hplllllnic llnlra. A anmcwlmt rldrrly Kcntlr-mnn, with Ini-rry twluklv In lila oyr, wunt Into n tinlnlrl'iiM'r'a tho other ilny to Imre lila hulr cut. "Kiciian mi', air," anlil tho linlnlreaa--r, ii liu liok'nn operntloua, "hut your hair la very innrae." "Of etiurae," ejiiculntetl the gcntlo Iiinn. Tlio hnlnlreaaer liNikeil rntlier puz rhil, nml aiihl: "I ineiiii It won't liu atrnlKht, air." ".No; you ace It rnit-'t Hit atrnlKht, or eren tell tho truth, hecauau It cun't talk," atnlleil the Koiitleuiiiii. The InilnlriwHer, who hegrtn to ma pec t Hint he wiih holng playeil with, felt mm!, mill anlt, nliruplly: "Ilear'a fcrenae" "Oh, yea!" eiclnlmcil the Kentlemnn; "It hiHira Krenao, or oil, or fnt of any iIciK-rlptlon; In fnet, I ahoultl any It would lietir miythliiR, or It wouldn't havu home your remarka nhout It" Now tlar for Itoltrr Hknlra. I.lllle Joliiiny Sny, pa, will you liny me n pair nf roller akutea) I'n Whnt In the nuino of ciiniiiinn aenae do you want with n pair of roller aknlea? I.lttlu Johnny Why, pn, I want to line them fur iikihIuh the lawn In aum mer nnil ahovelltiK anor In winter. What elao could I lino them for, pa Cincinnati Kmptlrer. Colunitim, Ohio, May 19, lay. Borne four year ago I was Buffering front linpuio Llood and a general ruu. clown condition of the aystem. I had no appetite, was lottiij; flesh, anil hail ait oil none tired feeling that mails me misera ble. I began tho use of ,H . 8. 8., and otter taklni;cvciior tlfjhtbottlci my akin was cleared of all eruptions and took on a ruddy, healthy rlow that ntsured'me that tny hlooil had been restored to Iti nor mal, healthy condition. My appetite wai restored, nt I could eat anything put be- tore roe, ami na 1 regained my appetite I increased In weight, and that "tired feel ing" which worried me o much dlsap. peared, and I wai once again my old self. I heartily recommend S. S, S. as the best blood purifier and tonic made, and atrongly advise Its use to all those In need of such medicine. Victor Stud bins. Cor. Barthman and Washington Aves. Wheeling, W. V May 18, loot. My system was rundown and my joints ached and pained me considerably, I had used 8. 8. 3. before and knew what It was, ao I purchased a bottle of It and hare taken several bottles and the achea and pains arc gone, my blood has been cleas ed and my general health built up., I can testify to it ns n blood purifier and tonic. 1533 Market St. John C. Smik. If yon have any eyrnploma of dis ordered blood write ua and our physicians will advise you free. Our book on blood and akin diseases sent free. Tho Swift Spoolflo Company, Atlanta, Go. l douih3;ruii. iVio.UikkL III VI la tlma. Bold br driiral.f- r1 r 1 FIPTY YCAflO AOO. Ut nllit ttttx b ClirUtriiit trtt down id tli uwvr cburvlii itid A M vt lftliif tht-r did, ioujihow, I , . ct-Hildri't uiidtrtliud-i A lot of (lit nia iitw-farigUd tbtt wt Dtrtr Ud to know 'Wny busk anion tlio CbrUtmi tltuti ff ui 17 tin igu. Tl prMchrr rvdi to tntttlu' In ft nw (m wairou wblcb XI i1 audi a rirkft thnt It ulb icarvd nollj(u In th dllchi nut avrinoti fulrlf tfVni with word no boil 'rr IfAttl flnw Vtvm ituod old llrottm lun'l Wltftflut, Oft j van ago, Hit urgiii war uiott wutidtrfuli but tbtu It ivrlilM to tut It didn't Hound ti nr'rtiit It aooifbuw t'linlil tu l't Hut wbfH tlif ianK "Jojr tu tbt World," 1bt tlirllld lujr luul tbuit Cbrliiltnii tluiti vi mi- van ago. A rnj tbroiiKli (tut iiMid old antbrm 1 irtrutd takrii bark onra innro To wlirr mr aoul rould aat arroaa. clfar to in k H ii abortr. I Joined and annir, "Tba Nrd la Comal !tt Kartli lli.l.s. lis. If I nor 1 lt Ktvry Heart I'rvparf lUm lUwt and iivavan ami Piaiura hiiiki Ah, twaa a ontf to awall tbf brartl Tbr iTiran iiiuiitifrfu imia And carried Krniulljr bvavtliward tba voire Iff Hilt afaul1f M aoul l poked out beyond lb rartb and anw tbi uleam and uUm Arrona tbif Halla of Jaapvr wber lb M rlritf wtJllTI HOW, And oer nil 1 bfard a tolca rla blgh, arid rvrr iiiKiier A Ktrl'a awect voire line lie fl on line down wanl from Ui rbolri Ua metiMlr awlft tariitleil In inj tender beart alrlnsa ao ioen rmiif io me a vuion rrom uiai wnriai maa loiyr ajfu. Ah, Ibejr were Mita ai aurnmer aklea - lliiMte lender ejrea I knew; And ever from tbelr dejitlia I aw lovr'i Itrlabt ion ati I nlii if f hrouat b lov'a Hit r fbat hone for In alona itralKbt Ollt of tnrnttlask - Tb iMirndUe Hint tny wllblti Injr little Rvreriornri a evra. And na tbr aHeel vcdrM aimer mug. nsnln tin rt tt int to me A vltloii ir id nltt Iojc rhureb, tba little riirltiim tree Alilan- nltti iltij llijbti; I beard a rolcv t uaeil tn Liuiw And love tn tln old ObrUtmaa time of mix jeara ago, I fHt Iter band upon my arm; I beard (be atrijtb leii rinjr; And Ibroiixb tny mlml tbe erhoea ran, "Iet Heaven nml Nature Hlngl" I aaw aiialn the teilara bnd Leiiealb tbe rbaat'iiluif aiiow; Asatu I felt mjr awvetbeart'a blaa of fifty year ago. Hlnc on for aye, O trtumpb aongt My Irit And Jolna an anthem alldlrtiie, a one of pureat love. I'vt rait away tbe tbrall of aie, flung off the yoke of tlma; Tba mlitlelo and boil bougba abora ni wrraine ana ciimu. Tht aont: waa done. The llchta were out. Tbe eeboe all were atlll The Mite eye once more alee pin on tbe long-rortcotieii nui ; And I am old ab. very old I and yet my (11 nini In v ere Have raoKbl a Kteam prophetic from the galea or pnraoia. "Joy tn the World'" I quaver o'er tbe natiriuiit "U1 rerrain And amlle on llirtiuvb the to net teara that fall like iimmr rain. I'or r s-ry yen r t bat Imiw my brad but iirnrrr lirlnttat. I knuw. My lovtwof tboi hM CbrUtmn tltnea of nn year atco I)Hell Olua ltere. In Ielle Weekly the iiiHisrs mm HIS was oM and frclilo ami por Juki uiii of tlKmu vxntni! nf n itinit ttlm lina I. nil tio Iuiik. Kluwly lie ui-inl r.1 lila way ilnwn tlm rnitrilnl atrert un til hn rrncluil that alun wlilcli marks tin horilvr llu of hope ami ilrapalr for ao many human hiwirta the throo tmlla. rorirtjr nhorni from Ills tlirt-nillinrr mat ami worn aliot-a. It trrmbltil In lila ol.l liiiml, It iulvirtil hi lila tliln lips ami luokrd from tils cn-at, tliouxlitful, liurik'ry fj-ra. rrouil MoinI llllliel the pallid fraturr-a nt tlii old mail aa lm approached the luoki-r. .Morn yt-ara than man haa y ,-i tired arrimil m-IjililiiK upon tlit liowiil hpnil, ami not only tli ilrrn ct, Iiiiiikd eyi-a, hut every fraturv of that patrician old faro eipn-aaiil the liumilily of dr rpalr. lie n farliu; thn linnloat trial that cornea to tho rhllilrvn of iiii-n tin- I'lf-eonfeMlon of failure. There, mi the liawnliroker'a letlcrr. which, llk the roll of the rtK-ordlnit nil ct'l, luiirka tlm duwnfall of many a aaul nml aurTerhii; enoiiKli to rnlrem It, wa writ the name of this old uinn, nmt over on the ahalf In a rouicli cn lay lil Amatl the elilld of lila old heart, the lilUtriiii of lila aoul. Yea, he had failed, and hi the errr active, exacting ilrnmii of the world there ivm no part for lilm to play. 1 haven't any money," admitted the old man. "Hut It a (Jhrlitmaa eve, ami If tou will allow mo to sit here and lend mo my old violin I will play you a Chrlst maa carol a rhapsody." Thcro waa a pleaillriK III tho old voice that would haw opened n harder heart than tho keeper of the aliop beneath the three liuhleu lmlla, The nlxlit hail grown old, and It lacked leaa than an hour of tho day which wna to hrhiR peace to tho world. The old musician ahlrcredi It was the cold of the world without and the chill of a heart vtlthln that quivered from his very aoul. Tho touch of a loved one brings to life again nil the glory of our dead selvea. Youth to old nge strength to weakness light to dull nclihig eyes courage, ntn liltlon, love, laughter all It nwakena. (leutly the ancred prlio w'aa lifted rev erently Its keya nml atrluga were touch ed, aa tho old violinist drew the liow tliat wna an perfectly wedded to his nina ter hand. The look hi tho deep aet eye was leaa hungry now and tlio hand waa sternly ngalu, Tho honry old hend waa no longer bowed In grief and ahaine, hut drooped to touch tho boaom of Ida love. Out on tho night air floated the Joyous notea of tlio "lloaanna, Iloaanua to the Highest." Loudly they rang and then the echo, soft and silvery, quivered a mo ment It was the pulse of the soul tumb ling In one magnificent blending of har mony. All the hunger and want and mortifying failure wera forgotten, and tho soul, young and strong In Its glory, son red out In tlio tones of the Chrlstmaa nnthein. Then for a moment came the shadow of the present. The tace becama white again end the old hungry light shone from tho eyes anew. Ah, how could he ever hnvo parted with this companion of ills soul tried hours? Food purchased nt this price would choko hlni now, but hunger la a pemlstent foe. It will wring from tho heart almost nny loved object, You who know luxury or comfort, who hnvo never felt poverty's heavlcat curao real, deapernto, despairing, nclilng hun ger limy not aeo this truth, but thcro Is nothing under flod'H henven that twists the henrt Into distorted aliupes, dMtroya Ideals nnd compels us to surrender that wjilch our hearts would bleed for under nny other conditions llko hunger. Its fir i) strikes Into tho heart nnd bruin, nnd breaks n spirit which could face nny oth er Idenl, and so tlio violin linil lain Bllent for many daya, Agnln tho bow wits drown, though age had crept up to palsy tho feeble limbs, Hoftly the "Mlacrcro" moaned from the violin. "Ah, I bars sighed to rest me. docp In a silent grave," gently trembled tlio intlody, while In a rnluor key the bb llgatu sent forth Its wall. Wvudcrfully ad flowed the music from the old violin. Then, as the csthodral chimes rang out tht. tidings that a Christmas day was born, the "(Hurls In Hicelsls Deo" rushed forth In one magnificent soutburst from the strings of the violin. The old hand was firm and auppls now) Inspiration shone from the sited face, "Olory to (lod on high" the tones seemed to soar beyond the sad old world upward, upward until It aeemed to touch the star studded dome and beyond to the throne most high. "Peace on earth" the benediction seemed to strike Into every soul. The battle for earthly gain the aelflah pas alona, tba henrtachra and aln all, all were forgotten peace, peace on- earth, fainter and fainter trembled the last glad notes. The snowy old head realm! against the loved Amatl. The face was ns white as the Christinas snow without but tbe lip" smiled. J'cnco on earth peace, peace to the aoul that aliimbera. New York Herald. MUSIC OF THE YULETIDE. teat Tnlciile of Composer Ilevotcit to Iflima for tile Occiialoils. OltK than any other season, Chrlstmaa lina Ita ou distinc tive muslu. Com (loaera for ct-titiirls hnvo devoted their best toll-ills to the production of hymns, odes, r-uuta-taa ami orut'irloa that breatbo the Christmas spirit In Kiighiml the Christ mas -nrol has long held the llrst plmv. ome of the old citrola dale hnik ns far ns Uh- twelfth century, l.lke iiiiich ike llml la tirlUlli-. they unpen r to him' had ihi-lr origin In Trance. One of the moat micliiit of theiH' enrols l the l'roa do PAne. and It wna aung ns pnrt of n p ulnr festival railed the "I'ete de I'Ane," in which reremoiilnl a richly caparisoned iisa. Iienring on Ita tinck n souug mnidwi llh n chihl In her nrms, was led thruUKh the i-ltlea of llvniivnla and Kriis, In com memoration of the flight Into Kgypt Hot It In Ctriuaiiy and In Kuglaml the diatom prevalla among young rhoristrra of going through the atreeta In hands enrly on Chrlatmas morning and singing Christinas hymns ami carols for alms be fore the houses of the rich. A familiar Picture is Hint of Martin I.uther. when a hoy, singing in the streets nt Christmas dawn. Several of the most familiar Ger man ChrUtnina hymns were harmonized early In the seventeenth century by Jacob I'rnetorliia to melodies composed about the middle of the sixteenth by I.iilher. One of the greatest masters of (i.-r-nnn music, Johnnn Hebnstian llacb, li-il n pupil nt the i-holr nml grammar arhoot of St. Michael's. In l.unelierg, wnlU-nl the lnil enrly Clirlatmns morning slugliu iheie "wnlts, ns ihi-y were call.-! III Knrland. with his fellow clmrlstera. be tween whom and those of another rtchool the musical rivalry wna so Intense that the authorities were obliged to map out M-parntc routes for them in ordrr to pre tint their meeting nnd coming tn blows (If modern Cliristmns comKisltloiis the most widely known undoubtedly Is the ('antique de Noel (Cliristmns song) by Adolph Adnm. Adnm la n l reiich com nonr. The Cantlmic Is as famous out side of France ns within Its border. It Is most widely used nt the midnight ser-vli-es nud Is the subject of n fnmotia .-ere-moiilal at the Paris Opera House. Oil the stroke of midnight every Dec. 21 the performance of thn opera, nt what ever iwilnt It may be In the rcprcselitn tion, Immediately is Interrupted, the barl tune slepa tn the footllghta and, while the audience reverently stand or kneel, Intonea the words of the carol. FEEDINQ THE BIRDS. A Itnppx ClirlHtmna Cttatom Asiflng Hweillall lcuaunta Christmas is celebrated In Sweden tn an extent unknown in our country, and the celebration Is not over until Jan. l.'l. or "twentieth day Yule." A very pretty feature of the festivities Is thus derril- 1 by a writer who has visited that country: One wintry afternoon, at Jul- tidc (as the season is called), I had been skating on a pretty lake three miles from (iothenlerg. On my way home I noticed that at every farmer's houso there was erected. In the middle of the yard, a Kle, to the top of which wna bound n large, full slienr or gram. "Yt liy U this?" 1 asked my comrade. "Oh. that's for the birds, the little wild birds. They must have a merry Christmas, too, you know." Ami ao U Is; not a peasant III Sweden w II alt down to a Cnristmni dinner within doors until he haa first rals ed aloft a Christmas dinner tor the birds In the cobl and snow without. Pitts burg I)lMitch. A (food Itlililnnoe. When the New Year lu at the front door peeps, And out st the back door the Old Year creeps 1 hone he will csrrv atvnr on his hack A loud ss big ns a peddler's park; Am! we'll stow nwar In his baggage then Home things mat we never anau wain again. We will put In the pnrkery little pout Tint t drliea nil the uierrv illnildea cut. And the crensy srowls thnt up slid down Folil nice lime torviieniis ngiii into a f row ill And the 1 It t Io qiinrrels thnt spoil the plays, Ami the little mimhlrs on rnliiv days. Anil the lient-iip plus, nod the tensing Jo .es That neter seem funny to other folks; And the stones mat uru toseu -ue sure or llml - At robin redbreast and pussy est. And well tiirow in iuo oug some cross lit tle "dou'ts," And most of the "can'ts" and all of the w-on'ts," Aud the grumpy words that should not be sshf When mamma calls, "It Is time for tied." If u-n tret nil these 111 the Old Yenr's Duck. And shut It so tight thnt they can't tome hark. To-morrow morning we'll surely see A llnppy Piew xear ir you nnu m. Youth's Companion. Inherited Mistrust, "Iteasle, hnvo you written your letter i Santa Claus)" "Yes, ma; hut don't you go an' give to pa to mall." llliiB Out tlio Old, Itlnii III tho Now. I'm Wlinv la th' owhl rear lolko nt towel, Nora, darllut? woru wnoyi Pat Bccaso they always ring It out HOPE FOR a :sHiiK Mis. licniietta A. H. Marsh, 700 W. Iiltli f-it., J.ofi Annolcs, Cnl., President Woman' llenuvolent Ass'n, writes: 'I suffered with la grippe for seven wcekt, and nothing I could do or tako helped mo until I tried I'cruna. "I felt at.oncu that I had at last re I'tirixl tho tinlil inediclno and I kept -lemlily i uiprtivini!. Within threo Areks I was fully restorid, and I am glad that 1 gave that truly Kreat rem edy a trial. I will never bo without it Hgniu." In a letter dated August 31, 1004, Mrs. Marsh says: "t have never yet heard the elllcacy of I'eruna questioned. We still use it. I traveled through Ken tucky and Tennessee three years ago, where I found 1'ernna doing Its good work. Much of It Is being nsed here also." Henrietta A. 8. Marsh. Address Dr. llartman, President of Tl" llartman Hanitnrium, Columous, OM). nttulenta Ilroke Them Up. Thcro ure very few things that es capo tho notice of college students when they appear eu masse. This was demonstrated at nu uptown theater tho other cvt'iiliiK when a stirring melo drama wna being enacted, says tbe Philadelphia Itecord. A group of ten Ktudents occupied the front row of tho balcony. Just below them sat a party of young women. It was when the tienutlful heroine was about to be thrust out on the mercy of n pitiless world that tragedy wns turned Into comedy. True to feminine cmotlonnl nature, the feelings of the group of women aforctuild were so wrought up that tear began to flow. There was a hasty struggle for .handkerchiefs, a deep dive Into pockets and bags and then n pause. Only one of the six girls had had the foresight to provide herself with n handkerchief. Willi a sympathetic glance of com prehension she wiped the tears from her own eyes and then passed the bit of linen along. One by one the weep ing maidens dabbed their eyes with the handkerchief nnd then It was smug gled hack to the owner and the game of progressive handkerchief was begun again. The students saw all this, and one of them took a handkerchief from his uockct to wipe awny Imaginary tears nnd passed It along the line. Loud "sobs" drew attention to them. In a moment the house was convulsed with laughter, and It was only after mana gerial Interference that the by-play was stopped and the six maidens with the one handkerchief were spared fur ther mortification. BImllar but Different. "Did you ever attend a cooking school?" naked the Chicago girl. "No," replied her lloston cousin, "but I graduated from a college of gastron omy." Many women are denied the happiness of children through derangement of ihe generative organs. Mrs. Beyer advises women to use Lydia E. Pink ham's Vegetable Compound. " Dear Mrs. PirnuiAMt I suffered with stomach complaint for years. I got bo bad that I could not carry ray children but fire months, then would have a miscarriage. The last time I became prerrnant, my husband pot mo to take l.ydla K. Pinkhnm's VeRO tablo Compound. After taking; tho first bottle 1 waa relieved of the sick ness of stomach, and began to feel bet ter In every way. j. continued its uso and was enabled to carry my baby to maturity. I now havo a nice babv girl, and can work better than I ever could before. I am like a new woman." Mrs. Frank Beyer, 23 S. Second St, Merldcn, Conn. tsooo forftlt If trlilmi efrovs HUtr provs; ginulntnui cannot OS products. X'REU MEDIOAIj ADVICE TO WOMAN. Tlnn'r. Iin<ntn to ivrlto to MrH. IMnkhnm. Sho'wlll understand your enso iierf ootly, and will troot you with Klndncgs. Ilcr ndvlco is free, nml the address Is Ioriui. Mass. No woiunn over rcfrrottoa having written her, and olio liaa helped thousands. Corn What Is your fnvorlto pet In Ihe animal world? Dorn Man. Chi cngo Chronicle. ; "Whnt are you plunging bak In the wnter for, PntJ You Just swam h 1 1 1 1 r " nut,.,.. , ,1 I , . . .. 1 1 -.,,'.o iiiiiill.-, UI llm, HI l-'IIU mrnvii first; now Ol'rti going hack to fetch MollA." Teacher Now, Tommy, If you had twclre plnma nnd your little brother iiskiil you for one-half of them, how mnny would you hnvo JcftT Tommy (promptly) Twelve. Mrs. Ilncklot7 Ho your servant girl haa left you again? Mrs. Hubbubs Yes. Mrs. Ilacklntz Whnt wns the mntler? Mrs. Hubbubs -Hhe didn't like the way 1 did her work. Philadelphia Press. Ilrlght Hoy I'm n chip of tho old block, nln't I. pa? Pond Father Yes. my ami. 11. II. An' you're the hend o the family, nln't you, pa? V. V. Yes, my son. II. II. Then you're a block head, nln't you, pa? Clnrn overheard her parents talking nhout Illlilo tinmen. "Is my name In the IIIIjIh'" she naked. "No, dear." "Didn't Ood mako me " "Yes." "Then why didn't ho sny something nbout It?" Ilnrpcr'a Magazine. 1'nlr PasHcnger Won't you have a paper, sir? Iloggly Why VT what mukes you offer mi; n paper? 1'itlr Pns aoiigor I thought you'd he more com fortable while women nre standing If jou could hide your fni-e! Ux. Teacher Tho Kontence, ".My father had motley," Is In the past tense. Now. Mary, what tense would you he speak ing In If you snld, "My fnthcr has money?" Little .Mnry Oh, that would be pretense London Tlt-IilU. Policeman Why. my little dear. If you can't tell mo. your mother's name or where she lives, how nre we to And her? Little Girl (lost while out shop ping) Jes, put me In a shop window an' mntnma'll he sure to see me. "Whnt Is a counter-Irritant?" asked Mrs. Kmlthcrs. "A counter-irritant." replied Hmlthers, "Is a woman who makes the dork pull down everything from the shelves for two hours uud thc-n buys four cents worth of hair pins." "Never mind." snld the friend, sooth ingly, "you'll wake up some morning, nnd find yourself "famous." "Not much!" growled the pessimistic poet. "It would he Just my luck to oversleep myself that morning." Philadelphia Press. Mother Whnt! Fighting again? Buch a black eye! If you'd only fol low the lead of the minister's little hoy Tommy I did try to, hut he led agen wld bis right, an' tint's where he biffed me. Philadelphia Ledger. Professor Itobcrt, do you know the meaning of the word precipice, or bluff? Itobcrt lesslr. Professor You may give me an example. Itobcrt I can lick you with one hnnd. Profes sorSir! What's thnt? Itobert That's a bluff. Mrs. Dearltorn Were you married In June? Mrs. Wabash Yes;' once on the fifth, once on the eighth and on the tenth, and another time on the sixteenth; but I've switched off to Oc tober; that's my uinrrylng mouth nowl Yonkcra Statesman. Shocked Mother My boy. my boy, what became of that lust piece of pie I left In the cupboard nnd told you not to disturb? Little Oscar I eated It. Shocked Mother And whnt would you call an act like that? Little Oscar Disturbing the piece, I suppose. Uuf fulo Commercial. Husband Why do you scold the butcher? It Isn't his fault that the meat comes to the table nil dried up. Scold tho cook. Wife I don't dare to; but I'm In hopes that If I keep on scolding the butcher, he'll get mad, nud come around nnd scold the cook. Now York Weekly. Klluiore After all, Stedman Isn't so bad a fellow. lie came to me, man fashion, and took back nil the things bo had said against my people. Hurmnti Did It voluntarily? "Practically that It Is true I threatened to shoot him on sight It ho didn't retract; but tiiat was only a matter of detail." Boston Trnnscrlpt. Church Don't you dislike to smell the odor from those automobiles? Oothnin No, I like to smell It "You do?" "I certainly do. You know, you can't smell the odor until tho machine has gono by." "I know It." "Well, If tho mnchlno has gono by, nnd you can Btnell nt all, you're pretty sure that you haven't been struck." Youkura Statesman. "Hallo, Gudger, I've been looking for you a week. Couldn't find you high or low. Met n friend of yours the other day. He's becu talking nbout you. nnd I felt It my duty to tell you whnt he said." "Ah, well. I don't care to hear what ho Bald. I know It was something disagreeable." "How do you know that?" "liccnuso you are so anxious to tell It Good morning." Lawyer' You have taken your oath, nnd I want you to answer each of my questions honestly. Witness Yes, sir. Lawyer What is your ocupa tion? Witness I am a driver. Law yer Do yon drive a wagon? Witness No, sir; i ao not uiwyer now ho careful, and remember that you aro on your oath. You admit that you aro a tlrlvor; now, honestly, don't you drlvo a wagon? Witness No. sir; I drive a horse. Albany livening Journal. A Now InauraiieoHiorr. Thoy toll tltls Btory tlowu on Wall stroot. Tlio ciecutlvo ofllccr of a great Insurance company, happening one day to meet a friend In tlio street, found himself violently upbraided liccnuso his couipuuy refused to Invest In tlio bonds of an enterprise with which his friend was connected. The Insurance man stood It n fow minutes. Then "Oh, well," said lie carelessly, as It he were ordering n box of a now brand of cigars, "Bend mo up a million aud a half ot them."' World's Work. Knglo Caught by Iojr. A rcmarkahlo capture of an eagle by a dog near Itoman Is reported here. The dog belonged to a farmer named Angellti Dcscombes, at tho village of Chnluzandcs. The cflglo swooped down on tho dog to carry It off, but the ani mal, on feeling tho bint's claws In his hack, turned sharply nnd hit the eagle's claws. Tho bird rolled over on the ground, nnd the dog Immediately pounced on it, and held It down until the arrival of his master, who cap Hired tho hint nllve. From wing point to wing point tin eagle measured four feet nine Inches Iimlon Kxpress, rlio s Cure fs s remedy for snaghs, colds nd consumption. Try It. Price 25 cents, si druggists. Nothing; lint the Trnth. "Yes," said Mr. Htormtngton Ilarns, "wo did well In tho West At a one night stand In Arizona wo played to a 110.000 house." "Hay, what arc you giving me?" queried Mr. Walker Tics. "Facts," answered the great footsore tragedian. "The one man who com prised the audience was said to he worth fully that amount" A GUARANTEED CURE FOR PILES flrhlnr. Blind, Illmllna or rrMradliw IHes Your dnwrltt wilt ri-fund innntr tr PAZO OIST Mh.vr U1U to cure yuu In S to 14 days, sue HhoM Looked It Up All Itlglit Teacher Have you looked up the meaning of the word "Imbibes," Fanny? Fanny Yes, ma'am. Teacher Well, what does It mean? Fanny To take In. Tearher Ye. Now give a sentence using the word. Fanny My aunt Imbibes boarders. Woman's Home Companion. Mothers will Cn.l Mrs. Vfli.ilon's Eoothlng Syrup the best remedy to use for their children during the teethtog atrial. Clerical Jolt. She wns wealthy and consequently a target for much flattery. "Is It a sin," she asked her spiritual adviser, "to take pleasure In having people call me beautiful?" "Of course It Is, my child," replied tbe good old parson. "It Is always wicked to encourage falsehood." riTQ Permanently Cared. ZfaataorDerroosDess fllO anerSrat day's Dieoritr.Kllne'sUreat Nerve lUHtorer. Hend rbr FreB2 trial Ixatleand treatise. Itr. II. 11. Kline, Ltd., 921 Arch bL, Philadelphia, Pa. Ills Sphere. Friend Do you never take a vaca tion, doctor? Doctor Very seldom. I'm kept busy all summer doctoring people who have been taking vacations. Puck. TO CURE A COLD IN ONE DAY Take lAiatlve Hromo Quinine Tableu. Alldnur Slsu refund the money ir It tails to rare. E. V (trove's slgnjuare Is oa each box. SSc No Flowers. A Hay County, Missouri, man bet $2 that be could twist tbe tall of a dun colored mule and escape unscathed. In reply to a telegram from the coroner bis father. In the East, wired: "Bury the fool where he lit" Denver Post 'Alio Ivlntl iou Hnvo AlwnysOJought lias borno tlio sltnm turo of Clms. II. Fletcher, and lins been iundo uudcr his personal supervision for over 30 years. Allow no ono to deceive you lu this. Counterfeits, Imitations nnd " Just-ns-pood" nro but Experiments, nntl endanger tlio health of Children Experience against Experiment. What is CASTOR I A Castorl.i Is a hnrmlcss substitute for Castor OH, Pare goric, Drops and Soothing? Syrups. It is Pleasant. It contains neither Opium, Morphino nor other Narcotics substance. Its npro is its guarantee. It destroys "Worms nnd allays Kcverisliness. It cures Dlarrhcua and AVInd Colic. It relieves Tectliiiifr Troublcs.curcs Constipation and Flatulency. It nsslmilatcs tho Food, regulates tho Stomach nnd Bowels, jrivliif; healthy and natural sleep. Tho Children's Panacea Tho Mother's Friend. The Kind You toe Always Bought Bears tho Signature of In Use For Over 30 Years. TH etNTUH COMPANY. TT MUflRAT TH(CT. NCWVONHOITt. RUSSELL eng,nebsoilers & High Grade m Machinery Write for Catalogue and Prices 1 1113 Hi II. MVCIIII lliaUillIIDi jf UU. OREGON 1 i IfliyTiBr wW'WWVWi Atlc Your 11 KOT carried br local groMra. wilta Wadhami 4f ers You can hardly And n home without its Ayer's Cherry Pectoral. Parents know what It does for children: breaks Cherry Pectoral up a cold in a sinele nleht, wards off bronchltls.prevents pneumonia. Physicians ad vise parenisto keep It on hand. "The be.t eoasti medicine money esn bnf ts At.r. Cherry Peetorel. Fnr Ihe eniiih. of shlldren noUilna eonld po.ilhly he hstler." JACOB B1IDLL. Sarslof a, tcl for i Throat, Lungs anKasvaraMeaaweKaanBsaaaaaaaaaiemiaBi Ayor's Pills groatly old tho Chorn Poctoral In breaking up a cold. FIRE PROTECTION! oLoesT nousn in nortmwcst - IaflrKrtfl rnrriDlrt mock of Fir ArDariitn.. lima nd iKpftrtnii nt Hiippt tn. Our good r In ua In uf-sriy wvrrj w iro iwpar.mr n,f HUAVY COM BP, rtUAZHfl JOINTS. G1 AltLII riRU UXTlNtiUISIIUKli "JUlSrockn" KO. 'Vuirol' I IS. nch. ThrM arn th ttUrw.Ard Kxtlnffiitiftf r. Common hxtlntxtiliihftrr, wnn nrnw jomu.. iu mcn. a, 0. LOHG, fortUnd, Or oeeds ar known br what thi-r fi grown, tor dnii a, Cf ruury nej have rnn th tanlanl haven't fall.) one to tirodura bltrr. tt Ur crops than any others. Hold bf l I deal. 1 905 Heed A D I frte to all applicant. D. M. FERRY A CO., Dtrolt, Mich. P. N. U. No. 52-1904 3 TT7IIEN writing to advertiser If mention tbie paper rv II MnnU nriKii I'n P0RTLAN1 Qnxxw & Co., who will sdrlM wbaro otitaluaU.