Bohemia nugget. (Cottage Grove, Or.) 1899-1907, October 19, 1904, Image 3

Historic Oregon Newspapers

Bohemia nugget., October 19, 1904, Image 3

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About Bohemia nugget. (Cottage Grove, Or.) 1899-1907 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 19, 1904)

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Newspaper Page TextDistress Jljter Eating Nauacii bvlwopii meals, liolt'hliiif, vmn Hint;, llaliiluiiro, fits of nervous licail- cliii, In (lit) aluinach, inn nil nymptimiH of tlyspcpMn, mill the limber It In ni'Kli'clnl tli()lmiilorItl In ui- It. Hood's SarsaparLUa and Pills Radically anil pcrinauuiilly ctirn it itruiiKlliun unit timu tliu sIdiiiiicIi ami other (Hjitipttl vo oixnn for (lio nut mill pcrfiiriimncu of tliclr fiinclliiiii. Aci'i'iL no milmllluln fur Hood's. 1 "I hail dyspepsia twentjr-fWa ytir and took illflrrpnt mrtllrlnra hut (jot nu help until I Ix-Kon laklnir Hood's Harsaparllla, Have takrn four bottles of tills nirdlcliia and ran now rut almost anything, slrep wall, have no rratnpa In ray atomarh, no burning mid no illitrria.' Mia. William a. lUnicrrr, H Olnoy Ht rrovltlenre, It, I, Hooil'n Onrniipnrllln protnlsati to euro and hoops tho promluo. llraxll Una it film Ten. Dulled H tit t cm CoiihiiI Ayiiin writes fi'iiin I'iii'ii ii ri-i'iiiiiiiii'iiiliitlnn of n Urn r. II I ;i n beverage, yerlia mute ton, which In iri'Mriil from t tit rousted mill pill ti'rlr.ctl ItMivt'H of mi evergreen foiVMt tree. Vorlm nwilo It lowly t'oiinunied In Paraguay imil In tint llriulllnn Htnltw, wlicru It I initilc. It In cxtctislvely foiiiinniil in ArKi'iitltiit, In Uruguay. mill lo ii Ions I'xti'iit In Chill. There In II mimll (tMlilliiiptlon In other Htntes uf llrny.ll, n Kinnll ipmmlty In exported to Kliropu nml ntlll less In tlm United Ktntix nml ('amida. INtlinnlitl exports limy reach Io.ixmi to 57.IX h tonn uniilt lly. . Verba mate h.in n peculiar hitter, annuity taste, wlili'li Ii usually consid ered iiiipleuwint, mnl tliln him largely 0iiT.lti'i to prevent Itn inure extensive lino an n beverage. Thin smoky hitler nenn In chli'lly idle lo tho rtilc meth ml employed for drying thu tea von ami It neeiiin likely thnt tho Improved methods of drying the iniitu on Iron or copper pans would give a much more ilellnite mill agreeable product. Mate In hiiIiI to liavo all of the Pent iinlltlen of colTee n ml tin an a ntlninhitliiK health liovcragc, without the illnnilviin tiip of cither. It In a more grutlo stimulant thnn either nnil I until to bo much tmetl In the honpltnln of I'nrln. Tliu tree cnuM probably he crown III aotltlicrn California, wrliap In southern Texnn, rertnlnly In many purU of the riilllpplnei. Could Gel Nu Rc.il. I'lecborn. M'nn. Oct.. 17 (Bpocial) Mr. It. I', Oowanl, a noil known man here, in rt-lit iiur "' ihe relief from suf fering ho has ohtalnotl through using Dodd's Khlntiy l'llla. Ilia experience la Hull worth rcptatl'iK as it nlioultl point tho ronil to health to many an other in a similar condition. "I liml an aggravating raso of Kid ney Troiihle," itaya .Mr. (iownul, "that gavu mo no reel day or night hut using ii few bouts of Dodd's Kidney l'llla put new life In inn nml I feel like, a now mnti, "I m Impi'y to state I liavo reerlvril great nml wonderful benellt from Dodd'a Klilney l'llla, I would heartily recom mend nil miff (rem from Kiduny I'munlo to give lKild'n Khlney I'illn u fnlr trial m 1 hnvv cery reason to believe it woiilil never he regretted." Di iM'a Klilney l'llla muko you feel like n now man or woman because they euro thn kidneys. Cured kltlucjs mran pure lilooil ami pure hlootl mennn lionnillnit health ami energy In every part of tho hotly. Four Thoiisiinil Oottrnthcr. 1'rlliccMi Irene of l'riisnln In belter provided for In tho mutter of god father than any other woman In the world. She can boast of no fewer thnn 4, ijh I godfather, and how sho rnmo to obtain no many Is n pretty story. When she wan oorn tho war of lHiitl wan drawing to nn end, and peace be ing concluded Just at the time of her christening, her father. Prince Henry of HeHHo, reipiented all tt olllcem and men of the reglmenlH under hln coin iiiniid to stniid godfnlherH to hid little daughter, whom ho nnmed Irene (Trace) In commemoration of tho end of the wnr" London Tattler. I nm compelled by a sense of cratltuds to tell you tho great nootl yyur remedy has done me In a case of Contagious Illootl I'olson. Among other symptoms I waa se verely afflicted with Rheuiuntism, and got almost past ;olug. The disease got a firm hold upon my system; uiy hlootl was thor oughly poisoned with the virus. I lost in weight, was run down, had sore throat, eruptions, splotches and other evidences of the disease. I was truly lit a had shape when I began tho use ol a. b. b., but mo nerslstcut use of it hroucht me out of 1UV trouble snfe nml sound, and I have tho courage to publicly testily to tho virtues of your great hlootl remedy, S. S. 8,, and to recommend it to all blood-poison suffer ers, siuccrely believing if It is taken ac cording to uircciions, aim given a lair trial, it will thoroughly eliminate every particle of tho virus. am3 Curran. Stark Hotel, Creensburg, 1'a, Painful swellings In the groins, red crop tlous upon the skin, cores iu the mouth find loss of hair and eyebrows, arc some of the symptoms of this vile disease. S. S. S. Ii an autidote for the awful virus that attacks aud destroys even the bones. 8. S, S. contains no Mercury, Potash or other mineral Ingredient. We offer f t,ooo for proof that it Is not absolutely vegct- aoie. iiomc ireai incut hook giving; the svmntoms and other interesting and valuable infor mation about this disease, mailed free. Our physi cians advise freo those who write us. Tbe Swift Speclflo Company, Atlanta, 0a4 CURES WHIkl All llll Mill, t Couuh UiruD. TtiUt (loud. Ui la urn. Hold Dr aruvguii. iaMf.l-HII.',.:.dUl-Mra csence The no mlletl nwniln of Mnrn Imvn heen rt iiroilureit liy M. A. Iliimnnnn, of 'llrleh. In the ernekn mill flnnnren PpenrliiK In eylliiilerH nntl nphuren null Jeeteil lo Kient prenMiire. An expert of tho Ilnrenil of I'litnt liuliinlry reportn thnt tho Hulton Ilunln In Ciillfornla In ncluiilly hutler mlnpt eil for tho culture of tho ilntu-pnlm t tin ii nrn thonn pnrtn of thu Knhnrn Denorl, wliern tlm hent exported dnten are produced. It la believed that thin part of California could yield dnten eiioiiKh to nupply tho entire United Hlnten. There nro nlno plncen In Novn da, Arizona, New Mexico, and Texnn where thin rtmrnrtc rlnllcally Oriental fruit, dear lo the memorlen of nil read cm of the "Arnhl.iii NIkIiI." eouhl, It la nil 111, ho cultivated with nueceaa. The elcctro nterlllzntor of M. Otto In nn iittempt to nolvo the problem of ozonlzliiK wnter nt Ihe homo of the eoiiaumcr. The nppiiriitun Ineliltlen n little box eontiilnliiK n Irannformer nml nu ozonator, with n commutator for revernhiK about one hundred tlmen per necontl If tho current In continuous. TJie ozone Keneratcd jmnnen tliroiiKh n filler of wiiildliiR to nil emillner, where tho water nml ozono nro ciicwtlrnlly mixed heforo pnnnliiK from tho npluot. Tho ozonnlor limy he eonneeteil to nn ordinary llnlitlni; circuit, ami tho cur rent reijillretl In nhout thn nnmo an for a nlmple Incandenccnt lamp. An IhKcnloim i:uKllnhmiiu, Ilarrlnon Mnrtliidnle, link Invented a nullum clock, which, It In computed, could run .'tO.lKK) jenrn If tiiiliilcrfcred with. It ronnlnta of a tube coiitnlnlliK a ninnll (iiiintlly of n.dluin, upKirtttl on a ipinrtz rod In an cxhnunted Klnnn von nel. To tlm lower end of tho tube In attached an rlectroncope, rounlHtlUK of two Ioiik ntrlpa of allvvr. The nnturnl action of tho nullum acudn nn electric chaw Into tho (trlpn, caunlnic them to nepnrato until they touch thn nldcn of tho vennel, wliereupon they nro In ntantly dlnchawd and fall toKether nunln. Thin operation In repented au tomatically every two mlnuten, no thnt each bent of thin nliiKiilnr timekeeper may he nald to ho two mlnuten long, l'rofennor lllrod, of tho Cnlvernlty of Montana k'lvca a ntrlkliiK dencrlptlon of tho treaaure that his Mute ponnesnen In aapphlrea. The only ayatematlc mlnliiK for theae precious atouea In tho United Htatca Is dono In Montana. Tho annual output nmounta to -toO.000 or 600,000 ctratn, InclutlliiK the atones that are suitable, for cutting nn items nntl those thnt are only useful for me chanical purposes. It In said that the lapidaries In Helena do liner work thnn Is dono on the atones that nro sent to Iondon to ho cut. I'erhaps some hotly will siiKKest thnt Montana should he called the "(Ipiii State," In view of the fact that her output of precious Mono exceetln the production In thnt line of all the rent of the United States. NTEREUTINQ TltEES OF INDIA. Ihiule or Altio Wood nntl Chlnrae Tallow Tree Altich 1'rlxrtl. Two Interesting numbers of the Agricultural Ledger huvu Just been Issued In Iloiiibny. They nro devoted to ii description of two trees which glow and nro much prized In India tho tngle, or aloe wood, and the Chi nese tallow tree. David Hooper, tho ill rector of tho Industrial section of the Indian Museum, who Is responsible for both these pupern, describes In nn t'Xtrvmely readable milliner the various uses to which tho products of these trees lire devoted, how they lire collect ed and where they nre found. Tho aloe wood tree In a native of the mntin talus cast and southeast of Sylhet, In lluiinas, and In lleiignl. It Is wilun blu on account of it dark, resinous, aruinntlc Juice with which tho wood Is sometimes gorged. Thin resin, or sugar nn It Is collotjtilally termed, Is used fur Its perfume and supposed medicinal properties. It U very costly nntl Is used both for Incense In re ligious mid other ceremonials mid nlso In tho preparation of n perfumo called agar iitt.tr, which la practically as costly ns attar of roses. Tho most In teresting feature In connection with tho nloo wood treu la tho uncertainty ns to whether nny particular tree will he found t contain tho precious reslu. tribe of hill men known to the na tives ns ngnr kttmlnhs mnko It their business to search for tho resinous wood. Their trade Is a secret which they nlwnya endeavor to proservo from nil natives of other tribes. A party of agar kumlahs goes off Into tho mountains with provisions for ns long ns tltreo months, mil they prosecute their tedious Bcnrch In districts where probably n human being Is not seen from month to another. Trees hnvo to ho chopped down mid hacked to pieces heforo It can ha ascertained whether they contain any of the resin ous deposit, nml sometimes, after a wearisome search through half a dozen trees, young nntl old, not a single piece of agar Is discovered. Again, It may ho that n rich Mud Is made, aud then tho collector la repaid for half a mouth of work. Tho forest department preserves the tree and col lects tho ngnr. Homo years ngo tho olllclnls of thnt branch of tho servlco woro disposed to believe thnt the treo wn hecomlhg extremely rare. How ever, year by year, tho mlcs of the department Increase, so thnt It mny ho assumed thnt ns yet there. Is no ground for tho fear thnt the treo tuny become, extinct. Tho Chinese tallow treo grows In tho United l'rovlnces and In the I'uujaub, It Is valuable becauso of n species of vc;otnblo tallow which It produces. Iloiiibny (Inzctto, QH03T 8TOMY FROM INDIA. Ita Trutlifiiliieaa Voiiclietl For by Two Women autl u Man, Tho latest ghost story Is recorded In tho Friend of llunmih, und It Is at tested by several eyewitnesses, who saw tho ghost, not during tho night, ns Is usually tho case, but In broad daylight. It happened In tho Monyin- xu quarter of l'akokku a few days ago. In that quarter of -tho town lived a married couple; tho husband's' tianio Is Maung Yuu nnd Ida wlfo Mny Ncalu. They had a llttlo ton 2 year 1 old, who, after a serious tllnenn, died, Tho hnhy wan hurled In the cemetery outsltlo of tho town, hill crndle serv ing lis n rollln. Tho father wns very much dejected nt tho Ions of hln little one, and, un able lo repress hln grief, went to tho cemetery two tlnyn after the burial. It wan about H o'clock In tho morning. At Hit eiitriiwn of every Ilitrmono burlnl plnco there In a ziiynt, or rent house, wherein people gather nml chnt und smoke nml take shelter from 'ho sun or rain whenever they accompany a funeral. On entering tho graveyard Mating Vim wan not u little surprised to seo hln sou, or at leant some one looking exactly like his son, playing In the znynt, near the cradle. Ho wan at first horror-struck, hut pntemnl nITec-1 lion getting the upper hand, ho ap proached the baby, and, to entice him, I gave hi m ono pice. I Tho loy took the coin renillly nnd offered not tho least resistance when 1 tho father took him In his arms and curried him away. Mating Vun could ' inaktt nothing out of It hut that Hi" child had been burled alive and Hint ; somebody, attracted soon after by the sounds coming from the grave, had dug him out nnd placed him In lli'i znynt. I'u 1 1 of Joy, he curried his Iteiiniire home. I At tho entninco of the town, nnd about a call's distance from his house, he mot n neighbor, Mali Keln I'wlu, who, wondering nt what sho saw, creamed out: "Is that you, Ko Vun. cm lying homo your little son?" As soon an thn child heard the voice In began moving about In his father' n arum. Mnh Seln l'wln nnd another woman enmo to tako It, nm! a short struggle ensued between them and the boy, and Milling Vun suddenly lost hln senses nntl fell heavily to tho grountl The two women made n flash for tho little one, but, lo! nowhere wns he to ho found; ho had disappeared com pletely, leaving no trnce behind The uufortunnte man wan carried homo by some kindly neighbors, but he was n long time In recovering his senses. The child wan a ghost, and tho man had been carrying nothing hut an apparition from tho other world. Thnt It npienretl renl enough, tho two wom en lire ready to swear, since they not only saw, hut touched It. It was no smoko or vapor, but acemed to be flesh nntl hone. As soon ns Maitng Vun wns well enough to explain how It happened. hurried visit was made to the cemetery In tho hopo of, per haps, seeing the hoy In the zayat. Hut they were disappointed; neither child nor cradle was there, and the grave waa exactly ns It hail heen left on the burial day, not In the least disturbed. London Olobc. EACH DACE ITS OOOf?. Ortrnluts Hit hi to Object Htronuly to Wcatern 1'roplcs on tiiatBcorc. Wi'steru nations, with their usual conceit. Imagine thnt they are superior In every respect to the races of another color und consequent !y to those of the 1'ar Kast. One of Uie charges which white men bring against the negro Is thnt the odor emanating from him Is the reverse of pleasant and occasion ally. In hot weather, Is almost unbc.ir able. The Caucasian never pauses to think that possibly the odor of his skin Is by no niuiin pleasing to the souse of smell of Uie negro or the Indian. Nev crtheless, It Is Btatcd that the smell of tho white man Is not so fragrant to Uie negro as It s Imagined, hut Is, lu fact. objectionable to n degree. According to a riven t Issue of the New York Times, a Japanese medical man has published a treatise concern ing tho odor of tho Occidental races. declaring that It takes some time for the Oriental to hecomo accustomed to It. The writer ndvnnces the theory which hns been discussed before that each race has Its peculiar odor, that It Is partly radical, hut Is lu n measure Intlui'iicetl by dlttury and other condi tions. The Japanese do not smell each oth er, hut the perfume from their bodies la wafted by the breezes to the Itus slans, who can distinguish the smell of their enemies at a long distance The writer, however, states Uiat It Is noth ing like the pungent nntl penetrating emanation proceeding from the West ern nations, In which traces of garlic and ancient cheese and the volatlzatlon of a coarse and over-abundant dietary arc sure to he found. There nro reasons to think that the Japanese doctor may bo right and per haps each race has Its characteristic odor. Certain It Is that primitive races have a much keener sense of smell than thn members of n highly civilized race. With civilization nnd the art of living In an artificial manner, from ills uso tho senses of sight nnd smell he come less acute. Tho Japnneso hntv not embraced civilization for so long a period as lo lose tho finalities of n people living In a state of nature. In deed, the great majority nro not civ ilized at all. Chicago Chronicle. Ily Klimlniition. Jokes aliout twins nro moro numer ous than twins; themselves. For al1 that, there, need ho no hesitation In ro pouting a Joko which passes current In nt least one section of the country. "There used to live over on I'alnt or's farm," said tho humorist who told tho story, "a cotiplo o' twins nam ed Dan and Abe. They moved awny since. At the time I remember 'cm they wero grown won, hut they were as near llko ns them two gallon Jugs. Tho only difference was that Dan had good, Bound troth and Abe, he'd lost most o' his out o' tho front part of uls face. "Tho only way to know which win which was to stick your linger In Abo's mouth. If ho hit yo it was Dan." Hull! Pilot. Tho llarber Try somo hair restor er? Tho Philosopher--Oh, no; I havo long ceased to regard hair as ono of tho necessaries of life. IlrooUlyu Life. Tho avcrago woman of any expert, enco Iciiowh men so well that no mala can deceive her, unless It la her sou, from llvo on up. A man's last complaint Is thnt he Is tick and old. Amis Do you like your ililn, roup.li, short lialr? Of course you don't. Do you like thick, heavy, smooth hair? Of course you do. Then why Hair Vigor not be pleased? Aycr's Hair Vigor makes beautiful heads of hair, that's the whole story. Sold for CO years. I jT md) AjW'i Hulr Vlror tor Iah tlm. It it, IndfftMt, wonderful litlr tonic, rMtorln litftltli to tii Jitlr nnd ilp, arid, at tb tlu tltn, prorlr.R pt.nill't 1rtMtnr," 111 a VMlla, All .Irtirrl.l. C .A Tilt CO., H for ak air a i, mil- in., (jwiii. Husband Why i, ymi shop at Hlogo & ').', instead of nt Pastime's? Wife- rusliine's has sump new sort of electrical eonrrlvniH wlin It brings ymir cliango so fitiick J, .a dun t bar tiuie to change your iilintl. "Ifeeley liquor-morpmihe-tobacco wfiTre HANTS PERMANENTLY CUPID S-- rod FULL FAAriCULAJtl hwii t.KtntriwiiTuirf pout-land, one, The Inte Anton Ti heclioff was an Inti mate friend of liorki and Tolstoi, nntl It wns tint remarkable success of the former that encouraged hitn In bis literary I rforta. 1'lso'a Cure l a rooiI couch medicine. It lias currtl concha nnd colds for forty yeara. At druggists, 2A centa. Ho Mmiy lluvc. "Here Is nn article nhout our cor rupt police," said the reporter. "How should I head It'" "Oh, Just say the city has a bail case of the blues," rrpllot! the great editor. You Can Oct Allen's Poot-Caat FREE. Write Allen S. Olrnatrd, be lio jr. N. Y lor a tree sample of Allen's Foot-Kase. It curra wealing-, hotawollen. achlnr feM. It makea new or tight ahoea easy A certain cure for corns. lntfrowlnK nails and bunions. Alldruic-g-lstiKlllt. 2c Don't accept any aubstttute. Her Mothor'a I'roguostlcatlons. He Why des your mother insist on your baring an elaborate church wed ding? Hue She says it's tbe last chance I'll ever hare to show off In good clothes. Mrs. L. C. Glover, Vice-Prcs- ident Milwaukee, Wis., Business Woman's Association, is another one of the million women who have been restored to health by using Lydia E. Pinkhara's Vege table Compound. "DEAlt Mns. PinkitAu: Ivras mar ried for several years und no children blessed my home. Tho doctor said I hod a complication of female troubles and I could not havo any children un less I could be cured. Ho tried to euro mo, but after experimenting' for sev eral months, my husband became dis gusted, and one night when wo noticed tho testimonial of a woman who had been cured of similar trouble through tho uso of I.ytlla K. Pinkham's Vcgctnblo Compound, he went out and bought a bottle for me. I used your medicine for three and one-half months, Improving: steadily in health, and in twenty two months a child came. I cannot fully express the joy and thankfulness that is in my heart. Our home is a different place now, as we have something to live for, and all tho credit is due to Lytllu 13. IMnklinm's Vcgotablo Com pound. Yours Tery sincerely, Mas. L.C. tiLOVKn, OH Grove St., Milwaukee, Wis." Vice President, Milwaukee Huslnesa Woman's Association. IS00O forfeit If original of abovt fatter proving oastfaa aa coaiot o oro4tia OKI3Q0N PORTLAND ST. HELEN'S HALL A Oim.'H HCHOOL OF THK llltSUKST CLASacorp of tetchet, locution, bulM Injc etiulpinntttae beii. bml tor cat alogue. T-rm OpuiiH Scptumbor IJ1,904 PRICUS THAT TALK. Boit galvtiulctHl utaiutaM rounht Iron pipe ; Inch, por luu feit. Heat gatva:iUe4 lUmUnl wrought Iron pipe, j inch, J7.V- pet loo fft't, All tlzei lu black ami galvanlrod Hle at lowest market prleoi. Wood pumps capaclijr one larrcl j-er minute, t KubUer. leather ami rativai lltlng, hone and paoluir al wholesale prices. Write in lor your want. In the machinery line. lrrltrMlon plants a specialty. Itcierson Machinery Co., lort lantl, Oregona Dr. C Gee Wo WONDERFUL HOME TREATMENT Ihls woiidMhil fht. doctor Is culled irtat bocaut h vurtt people wltUoui Optra lion that are siita up lo die, lie cur with Ihos wonderful Vhl Dene herbs, roots, huds, harks and reietables that are entirely un known to nifHllcal sol roce In (his connirr. Ihrontrh those harmliss remedies Ihts famous doctor anows ine action or over wu different rem edles, wlilch he uccoaa fully uses In different diseases, lie guarantees lo cure cattarh. aith uia, luug, throat, rheuinallsm, nervousnesi, stouiach, llrer, kidneys, etci has huudreds of testlmoolals. Charges moderate. Call and see htm. 1'atlenis out of the city write for blanks and circulars. Head stamp, COtftJll T All UN 'HKK AUDUKtia The C. Gcc Wo Chinese Medicine Co. 253 AUtr St. tMrtlaaJ, Ore.ro a. gy-MeutOit paper. l. N. U. No. 41-1904 WHEN wrltlna; to artvertlaara ploaaal mention tbla impar. I ma uia J -i j i Mrs. Auger I can't see why my hus band should he Jealous of me. Her Friend No one ran, my dear. Mrs. Wlndyelty I hear Hint Mrs Tucker Is qulto a collector. What Ii her fad? Mrs. Lakeside Husbands Htranger Do express trains stop here? lllg Hank (station ngent) Only for railway officials on' trnn robbers. Ux. "I doubt If you know tho difference between grand opcm and comic opera." "Oh, but I do. (irand opera Is comic." Tuck. "What would you suggest as a name for my new yacht?" "Why, It seems to me tho I'loatltig Debt would be ap propriate." Kvelyn Yes, my great-grandmother eloped with my great-grandfather, r'holly Just fnncy! Old peoplo like that! .Smart Kct. Hoy rather. If there should be a strike of the dog catchers In the I'hll- Ipplnes, would the Igorrotcs take to eating beef? Kx. "Mr. Hmlth had a hard time to gel his daughters off his hands." "Yes. and I hear he has to keep- their hus bands on their feet." Knlrker Yes, Johnny, there Is only one way to learn, and Hint is to begin at tho bottom. Johnny How about swimming? New York Hun. I'lrse Nurse I won't he able to goi to the picnic to-morrow. .Second Nurse Why not? First Nurse To tell the truth, I'm afraid to leave the baby with Its mother. Kx. Continuous: Nell Yes, he actually had the Impudence to kiss me. Ilelle The Idea! Of course, you were In dignant? Nell Oh, yes. Kvery time. Philadelphia Ledger. Chauffeur You'd better be a little careful, air. My machine might make your horse run. Farmer Oatmeal Do tell! Well, It'll be the first time In thirty years. Chicago News. "I don't have to work for n living," said the shiftless Individual. "Of course you don't," rejoined the busy man; "If you did It's a safe bet that you wouldn't be living." Chicago News. "I'm trying to And the Idea in your poem," said tbe editor of the Squint uary Magazine. "Oh, don't worry about that," said tbe anxious young poet; "there Isn't ary. You can use It without the slightest fear." Chicago Record-Herald. "Do you think you can cure me, doc tor?" asked the society woman. " think so, with the help of Providence," replied the good physician. "Why not Newport? The climate there Is surely the same as that of Providence." Philadelphia Press. Mrs. Honeymoon (to husband In rail way train) Do you love me? Old Party (confidentially from other seat to bridegroom) She's asked you forty seven times already. I get out here, hut I'll leave the scorb with this gen tleman by the window. "Glad to meet you," said the pollto cannibal chief to the new missionary. "I shall expect to sec more of you to-1 morrow. We dine nt high noon." "Kr thanks, awfully. I shall be delighted Not at all. Tho pleasure will ho all mine, I assure you It Is human to doubt. Display a sign with tho Inscription "Beware of i I'alnt." nnd nine men out of ten will , draw their forefltiBcrs across the newly painted surfuce to see If the sign Is not merely "an Invention of the on-j euiy. rue teiuu man never learneu to read. Dashaway You say your sister will bo down In a minute, Willie? That s good news. I thought perhaps she wanted to be excused, as she did tho other day. Willie Not this time. I played a trick on her. Dashaway What did you do? Willie I 6ald you were another fellow! London Tit-l!lts. Wiseman To look at that English man you'd think he was a tramp, wouldn't you? Jokeley Well, I know for a fact that be hasn't n place that he can call home. Wiseman Non sense! Why, bis mansion In Ixmdon Is Jokeley Sumptuous, yes; but he colls It " 'ouie." Catholic Standard Times. Helen and Malda were at play when Maida was overheard saying: ".My mamma does not allow mo to use a bit of slang. She says It Is coarse and vulgar." "That's Just what my mam. ma says, "replied Helen. "My I but I'd get It right In the neck If slie heard me using slang like somo tittle girlsl Llpplncott's. Teacher of Physiology Now we will dissect this odd little aulmal. Hut first. Jimmy I'halig, will you tell me, what wo havo here? Jimmy Faith, and It's called a bat, sir. Teacher Very well. Now, how many kinds of bats aro there? Jimmy There nre folve. The black bat, tho red bat, tho acrobat, tho baseball bat, and the brickbat, sir. A tourist lu a remote part of Ire land, having stayed the night at wayside lun not usually frequented by visitors, Informed tho landlord lu tho morning that his boots, which had been placed outside his room door, had not been touched. "All, mure," said tho landlord, "aud you niolght put your watch and chain outsltlo your room door In tills House, nnd they wouldn't be touched." Tho King. Away from the l'ast. "In my plans for your how home," says tliu architect, "I have provided for a largo, ornuto ftiezo lu tho wall," "Dou't wuut It," asserts Mrs. Con- Jecled, 'What?" 'Not n hit of It. Can't tnko any chances on having someono being re minded that I used to drlvo uu Ico wagon." Judgo. Many a mun's so-called gems of thought nro nothing but paste. Too many family lllblcs aro more ornamental than useful. W I For Infanta nnd Ohlldron. Hi it e i -AfrUclaulePrcpnrntionforAs-slmilaling llict'oodaruIfieCiila ting Ihe Stomachs and Dowels of Promotes DigcslionjChcct fur ness.indMest.Conlaln. nelllicr Opium.Morpliirie norJlincral. ISOT NAIIC OTIC. yave afounrsmjnnraiin ill fartnmeh.tu3 ilmUd.Ojov tlnSmynmt flartK Apetfccl ncmedy rorConslip.i non.SourStoriVKh.Uiarrhoca 'iVorms.ConYtilsioiis.Fcvenshr ncas nml Loss of Sleep. Facsimile Signature of NEW YORK. Domestic Happiness. Mrs. Neighbors Men bare different ways of making home happy. Mrs. Ilnmer How so? Mrs. Neighbors Some do It by Hay ing at home and nme bv staying away. Stati or Ohio, Citt or Tolzdo, 1 . Lien CocKrr, t " rum J. CniKET makes oath that lie la aenlor partner ot tbe nrmot JVJ. Oheky& Co., doing builneie in tbe CltyolTotcdo, Coun ty and Htate afitremld, and that said firm trill pay the aura ot ONK IIU.VDKKD DOLLAllH lor each and eve ry case of Catarrh that cannot te cured by the uae ot Hall's Catarkii Ctri. FRANK J. CIIENEY. Sworn to before me and anbaerlbed In my presence, this Cth day of Deremter, A. p., A. W. (it.EASON. j,fcJ -Notary 1-ubUc. Hall'a Catarrh Care la taken Internally, and acta directly on the blood and mucoua eorfacea of the ayatem. Send f r tatlmonla1a,free. P. J. CHENEY it CO., Toledo, O. Sold by Pniiidtte. 75c HaU'a Funily l'llla are the beat. The Washington Sfonnmeut. In Wash ington, D. C, Is the highest In the world. It towers 5.rTi feet In the nir, and Is com posed of 13,000 blocks of marble, each two feet thick. riTn Permanently coreo. ZTonuornerroasneee fl 10 after Erstdar'atueoriJr.Kllne'afJreatXerra Restorer. Krnd for Free 82 trial bottle and treatlae. Dr. It, II. Kline. Ud..u.' Arch HU 11Uladplil. Pa. Thoroughly Experienced. Official i'es, we have room for a few more "L" road guard. Had any eipe rieiice? Applicant (vlcoferously) Schnoowoo motvtroyatrect! Wake up! Don'tbeall day! Sttplively! Shakalegi I When The old monk cure, strong, straight, sure, tackles Hurts, Sprains, Bruises The muscles flex, the kinks untwist, the soreness dies out. Price 25c. and 50c. "DIDN'T HURT A BIT" By Our Method We are enabled to extract from one to V2 teeth at one sitting. oelilvely and sdho luielr without lain or had a-ter effects, l'euple In delicate health nefl have no fear a our method of extrartlng Is jKJkl lively safe aud ahohitely palnle. Absolute cleanliness Is our motto, We do crown and bridge work without pain, Our 17 yeara ex erlettre la pla.e work enables us to lit your mouth fomfoit aMy, The bm I the cheat et in tl eend. We have leellntts as well u ou jeu evtointpi UU j gundars from 9 to 1 Phone Main WISE BROS. Dentists, RUSSELL HIGH GRADE MACHINERY ENGINES BOILERS SAW MILLS The A. H. Averill Machinery Co., PORJ It not carried br local trocars, nrlttaioama The Kind You Have Always Bought Bears the Signature of In Use For Over Thirty Years Cliolce Selection. "I learn that the Van Ituitons allow their chlcltens to diet on their neigh bors' -flowers. Do they keep U se cret?" "Well. I should think not. If you dine with them the suave Mr. Van Ituxton will ask if you prefer violet fed fowl or 'chicken de roses.' " Special Card to the PuMIc Dr C. Gee Wo, Chinese Medicine Co., 333 Alder hi- i'ottland, (Ireirori, regrets being con futed lth Doctor Lee King Non. who waa killed rc-rietly In Portland. Pr Wo fa not dead, and l practtel gat rame location, 223 Alder Hire-1. Some people thought there waa only one Chinese doctor. A Son's) Rnggcatlon. "Papa," said little Arthur, after his mother bad puaiahed hiui, "will you do something, for me?" "What Is it you want?" "Marry somebody el. anil I'd wish you'd pick out grandma, because sbe'a always kind to me." CDicago Itecord Herald. Mothers will And Urn. Wlnalow'a Soothing Syrup the best remedy to use for their children during the teething period. Good Joke nt a Chtircti Fair. "Had a great time at the church fair last nlghtr 'So?' What was doing?" 'They had some strawberry short cake, and I nearly laughed myself to death thinking how I fooled 'cm. I didn't cat it" IS WHAT THEY SAY 20",3FlUin2B& THRESHERS STACKERS Viite fer Cata!osus and Pflccs S5, irba trill adrlM wtieia obulaaw. .AM TM CCMTAWH SOWMMV. R1W VOU CITY.