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About Bohemia nugget. (Cottage Grove, Or.) 1899-1907 | View Entire Issue (April 29, 1904)
$ Second Cousin garah nr riir. aviiioh or "June jvoae, xiwn rr." "unit hate kiiwy," ere, r.rc CIIAI'TCIt XXIII. iCmtiniieii., 111. remembers wi'i;. !t u hit In it ilnljr It wns ilnrli ulien nv ruliiriii'd lu ih tn tha dend wuinnti, mid in tho wlshva of house, mill he plom-il Hip ahutlvra mill yratrrfilglit, before lliu tragedy of llfu burred tin- dimr very carefully bifnm he fell nn them tlk t n pnll. ant (limn by ilin Hi,, in rvllfPl upon Ids ip uh.ipi tin. Irim liox In wlilcli the nrjl atcp, He hud been relleHliik-n tlmt will hnd been deposited, nnd where a all ilii'. uliliuiit seeing Ida way too clear- chince iiasurcl liltn tlmt It lny undlattirb. r to the rcaiilta nn lil. li lit. IiiiiI set Ida cd, nnd then hw closed nnd locked llio licnrl- ii Inrife ainn of money, ami n new hot nmiln, while tin- thought caum Id life nliriiuil to piijuy It In. Iilm Hint It might iiutit b of usu to Hp would not gu untulr yet awhile Hccntid-ciMiiln Hnrnli. another hiitir would lip of ndvnntsiiii to "Una Hint mini roino bnck liprnuao liu Iilm, mid ho milat wiilt. 'I'lm hank nt tlilnka to, too?" Iiv tnntlpridi "la It pna Worcester una alint, nnd them would In' . alhlv tlmt thla alionld lie tlio mil tl mr no kpiiiiiu inonpy nn iii-morrow inoriiitu Iipforn Hint I Inn. piling aim would alKii t lie clink, nnd ri'innlii n prlamicr In Jnrkaon'a Iniiton fiii'tory until time hnd been allowed for Iilm In pnali It. 'I'linl wna Hip end of Hip lirllllnut ai'lii'ino which lir lind planned out llkn nn nrtlat. Hilddi'lily there iviib n violent kimeklng at tin. door, nnd Peterson airnliic lip, with Ida li.ind ahnkliig oil Hip Inck of tho ihalr. lip rpni'llPil Ilia liiind toward Hip eillldle and ejllniiuUlied Hip IIiiiiip, na Ida hint resource. against nn unseen enemy. Then liu crept on tiptop tonnrd lliu door. "Who's there?" "I.pt tni In." "Tom Ibiatbell!" pjnrnlntfd Peterson. Iln opened (hp door, nml drafted Hip applicant for admittance Into the house by Hip collar of Ida pont n ninn drench rd to Hip akin liy henry rnln. "Von iiiuddlpr!" ahoiitcd IVtron; "hy rouldii't )oii atop nt Hedge 1IIIIT llinv dare )on nunc Intermeddling? Didn't you leave It nil to me?" "1 Itro tot go my throat-- lt fallow aipnk. Whnt nrp you doing In tin1 dark? Where nrp thpy nil J la Harnli here? has ahe signed I lip check V" Peterson released Ida hold and locked tlio front door again. Tom follonrd Mni Into tlii room, nnd ant down shivering liy Hip hp. Ilia rompnnlon nnd sdvlaer ndliihti'd Hip cnndlp, nnd held It to Ida fncp. "Why did yon coiiip?" "For anfpty. Oh, Ned, I aim!! I. hang fdl" Tom crlpil. "Tlio old miinnii la tend, mid everyliody tldnka I have donp It. Ileru'a a Idiaaed go for nn Inupraput innn! I never tinirhcd her, upon my aoul; lip died rlifht lid, hang, lu tho picture Knllcry, mid It wna nothing to do villi nip. I wouldn't Imro thought of audi a tiling." "Dpnd? Tlip old unman dend?" anld Pelcrauli, aiirprlaril again nt thla nrowut. "Oh! Ugh! yes," he anld, aliiiilderlug mnrp strongly, "tier pyea opened aud ileli; .Veil, mid aim wna off. 1 ahull never forget It. And then thv henat of a wom an, 1 1 ii r I Icy, came In when 1 screiiunil. and anld Hint 1 had luurderpil her. I wna talking her nrer to innke n will, wlm-i ahe died thnt'a nil. Oh! Irt'a go to Iiii don." "Tom," anld Peterson with excitement, "you milat go hack. You muat not leave everything to tlmt Culwlck. Tho old woman linn died nnliiriill) tlio doctor will prove tlmt mid you have nothing tn fpnr." "Oh! haven't 1? Thnt'a all you know about It." "Von ncciirapd Idiot I don't you aee that you nrp rich? tlmt Hnrah Ensthelt wna only hctwi-pn you nnd n coloaaal fnrtuiw? nnd Hnrah Imatliell la dead, too." "Knriih dend, too!" ncreamed Tom Iaatbcll lull hla new clilli'inclit; "eh, don't any tlmt. It can't lie." "Huah! Keep It ipilct; it la an eternal ni'cret In'twccn you nnd me; but alio 'aprnng out of the boat auddenly Inat night, they tell tin', nnd wna drowned. In n day or two I hey will dud her III the Heiern, nnd you will lw heir-at-law." "They'll any I killed the coupla of them." "Hnrah rnn nwny from home every body known Hint nnd enmp to harm l-y accident. There la nothing more uaturnl." "I'onr Hnlly! She wna n good aort," anld Tom; "nnd ahe ahe'a daad then. Tlinnk gomlnoa It wna quite an accident for nobody niennt to kill her." "(let bnck in hnate nt nny coat. 8njr you were dlatrncted, and did lint know wlmt you were doing Hint you have, been In aenrcli of Culwlck or a doctor, (let back." ".Suppoap they tnke me up for killing my grnndmotheri thnt'a wbnt I'm iifrald of." "(let back; you nra aafc. Oct back, fool, to nil Hint wenlth." IMwnrd l'pleraoii'n eicltement wna grenter than Thoman Hnatbeira now. Ho tliruat Iilm from Hie houae; he loeked the door niter him; ho tottered back to the room. Tom Knalbell would be rich Immense ly rich If hla alater Hnrnli were removed from nil the troublcn of thla world! Tom Knatbell In hla power nt hla mercy for ninny pnat offenaea n weak fool whom lip could rule Implicitly, nnd get money quickly by. Then, with the light In Ida hand, he proceeded with a wonderfuf ntondlncaa of atpp up the atnlra. A atrnngo appclmen of n villain thla for he went Into Ida dnughter'a room flrat, nnd anld, "I'onr lleaa you hnve gone for good than," nnd wnlkcd out ngnlii, nnd up the rcmnlnlng flight, with n very aorrowful countriiniicp. Hp drew tho key from hla pucket, unlock ed Hip door, atrodo In, mid then atoppod aud.lcnly n innu atruck, na It were, Into atone by hla nninzcnipnt. Tho room wna empty 1 CIIAI'TUU XXIV. Iteuhen Culwlck did not rench Rp.lgo 1IIII till n late hour, when the 1.11m, la were down before every window of I ho great Iiiiukp. Ho did not ,1 renin of dentil nt home whllo ho had Ik'cii nhrond In purault of tho living, nnd, In the deep thought born of Ida bnllled aearch, ho atrodo up tho hrond gnrden path without being atruck by tho blank napect of tho mmialnn. "How did It occur? Tell me ovpry thing?" ho naked, na he went Into tho picture gnllery, nnd Hartley followed Iilm. The ntory wna related, nnd ho Hat cued patiently. Ho beard of hla nuut'a dentil, nnd of Thonina Knatbell'a flight of tho Himplclon which nttnehed to Thoni na Knalbell until the doctor'a nrrlvnl, nnd tlmt Kentlemnn'a belief In Hip uiitural ternilnntloii to tho llfo and enrea of the old lady of tho Inqueat which muat fol low her deccnae. IIo walked up nnd down tho great pic ture gnllery In hla old reatleaa fiuhlon, plnunlng for tho morrow. Huddeiily ho nultted tho gnllery, nnd went upatnlra to Aunt Unatliell'a room, nt the door c.r whle'i Hnrtley ant, na If tho poor old won I needed protection still. "Why nro you wnltlug lu-ro now? ho naked tho aervniit. "If you plonac, lr, Mr. ThomnB Knat bell hna come buck ngnhi. Ho lina been looking for you, nnd for tho doctor, ho anya imd I thought Hint I would alt hero nu uauiil," "Whero la tho mnn?" "In hla o'yn room, changing hla clothes, which nro wet." "Wo will not disturb him. Havq jou my mint's keyn?" .... There w na n little lamp upo'i the brack et, nnd ho passed Into his mint a bed chamber. Hnrtley remaining nt her pos . It was a solemn momut lu hl '. ul:1 fnther's money of yours, poor worn-out lienrt, Hint never wna ninde happy by Ita nriiulalllon? If I hnve done you wrong, old soul, I prny forglveneaa now," ho iiiiiriuuri-d. "A liu ii," anld n deep voire nt hla al.ln, nnd he turned nt Hip aolemn response, for which ho wna unprepared. A till u wom n ii. clnd III almbby blnck, stood In the ih-orwny looking nt hlui. "Lucy Jenuluga!" hi. eirlnlmed. "Von telegrnihed to me thla morn ing," ahe anld, ndvnnrliig; "you naked me many ipieatlona, and I have come to nil awer them In person." "It wna kind of you, I.ucy," he aald, holding out Ida hand to her, "for I am In great trouble." They went out of the room together. Ileuben Culwlck locked the door, nnd gave Hip key to Hartley, after which I.ucy nn, I he deaceuded to the hall, I.ucy cnlym nnd grave. "Whnt do you know of the I'eleraona? What hiennip of them nfter leaving Lon don?" ink,, I Iteuhen engerly; "linn you a clow to their address?" "I think I hnie." "How did yon nod It?" "Among my circle of penitents and of poor mortnls struggling out of trim there lire many links of life to the dark world. I found friends to help nie st nncp. rntlence. If Hnrah Knstboll hss been lured awny by these I'etersons. the rlew to their haunt has been alruidy pointed out." "Heaven Ideas you, I.ncyl" "I'rohnhly I bring a bleaslng to you It Is In there." Khe pointed to the door of the drawing room, and he said eagerly as be strode toward it: "Harsh!" "Not she. It Is something you lost be fore your second-cousin, spd took ns much to heart In losing. It Is something that changed you and from which dated )oiir lmrdneaa, and your auspicious of me first of nil. It may be your c.wn llrsli nnd blood, for whnt I know." He left I.iii't Jennings, and went with quick atepa Into the drnwlng room, where on the aofn lay a child asleep, a poorly elml little girl of live yenra old, with her lint lying by her aide, nnd a tangled in una of fnlr, wary curia thrust back from her fnce. "Tots!" he cried lu hla aatnnlalinieut. "I met her In the streets of Worcester, near the poatnnVe," said I.ucy. "It was mining hnrd, mid alio waa crying becnusp n lady had not come to fetch her. Her father had sent her to Worcester, she sold." "Will she remember me?" "It Is unlikely It Is Impossible." "Hhe was very young when she went awNiy, poor Tots," said Iteuben, sadly re garding her. "Yes, I suppose it Is lui poaalble." "Hhe came with me In all confidence. I told her that I would tako her to her frlenda, and ahe believed me." "You are very kind, I.ucy," aald Ileu ben. "How la It Hint you do me thee good services, and yet dislike me so much ?" "I dislike the pride and anger In you,' nnswered I.ucy, "and they have turned me against you. I have had my reat work to think of lately not of the petty differences of eighteen months ago. Bee, tho child Is waking." Iteuben turned to the little girl, who had struggled Into a sitting posture on the sofs, and was looking at them, all pyea all blue eyes, too as Tuts had looked at him In Hope street, years ago. "Tots," ho said, advancing to her, "Tots, old lady ilon't you know me?" Ills manner waa too Impetuous, and hla quick strides toward her were so symbolical of punishment for some of fense which she In her Ignorance had committed, thnt the child sprang up and rnn to I.ucy Jennings, burying her face In the skirls of her protector. "Thv child Is frightened of you," said I.ucy, calmly: "let her be a while." "Why, Tota, It'a Uncle Itoo," he cried, "old Uncle Itoo you know!" The child still clung to Lucy's skirts, mid would hnve none of his nflectlon. He gnve up, and walked away to the win dow. "You seo how this kind of love lasts," anld I.ucy bitterly, "and yet you value It so highly." "Ilecnuso It set a high value upon me," he answered quickly, "It Is dend." "It will live again It will come hack." "And If not," I.ucy answered, "there la your second-cousin tn console you." The opening of the door cut short the clash of nrins, and Thomas Knatbell Ad vanced Into the room with a forced and Bwaggcrlng air. Tota clung still to the sklrta of I.ucy Jennings, with her face hidden In the folds, "Oh! you're bnck," bo aald to Iteuhen: "of course you know what has happened since you've been away? I've been look ing for you everywhere I've been run ning after the doctors if we had a plngue la the house, I think people would stop In It more than they do," said Tom Knatbell. "Who's this?" "My name Is Jennings," said I.ucy. "Oh! you're Jennings. I hnve hoard of you, but I don't know that we hare ever met before. May I ask what you wnnt, mnrm, now you nre here?" naked Thomas. "You'll eicuso me, but since my grandmother's death and Sally's ills nppenrnnce nnd until Snlly returns I consider I nm the head of this estab lishment." "I am compelled to answer your ques tion If this Is a true statement," anld Lucy. "Yes, I should think you were. True Indeed thnt'a a good onol Why, you don't know thnt my poor grandmother killed herself thinking about me," he unld. "She wna worried sho wanted to lonvo ino nil her money nnd ahe died of dls appointment becnuso ahe hadu't time to finish her new will," He addressed Lucy Jennings, but hi) wna watching the effect of this announce ment upon Iteuben Culwlck from the cor ner of Ida eyes. "It Is henren'a mercy thnt your grand mother died then," repllod Lucy to him. "I have been making Inquiries concern ing you to-day, and I have heard of noth ing to your advantage. You and onu Ed ward 1'eteraon were In this house, from which your sister has disappeared," anld Lucy. "Among my congregation there wero two or thrca who remembered tho 1'ctereons, nnd thought they they could bo traced. We arc aearchlng for them now under the name of Jackson." Thomas Kattball put ou band to his shirt collar: Ida throat had begun to suddenly, nnd ho felt uncomfortable. "Oh, he snhl, "If that's It you're on w rung " Toln hnd looked round nt the sound ft his rolep mum, rnmucMts since, hut he hnd not noticed her till then, nnd then Ms voIpii utterly deserted Iilm, mid Ids i-ycs priilruilfd lu nuinremeui. lie .11,1 not ask nny further questions of Miss Jennings. Thv child belonged to IMwnrd I'cterson. Hp mid his wlfv hnd the thnrgii of her once, nnd grown tired of her, nnd lost htr In n Cinnlierwell hmk street, where Hen lien had found her; mid IMwnrd I'etersoti hnd discovered her n yenr or so nft.ir wnrd.nud tnkeii her from the Jennlngses; but hv could not stop to eiplnln 'hat now. A few dnys ngo thnt child was lit Jackson's button factory, mid sho must hnvp come to Hedge Hill with the ni-Vs. Hp wna pnught In n trnp ngnltl. Hp knew It hnd not been anfo to return, but thnt fool I'eleraon had peraundd Iilm. They knew nil, and were getting him Into u linn hy degreea; everything -might hnve been dlacovered, for what tin knew to the contrary. Ha must "cut It," nt nny risk. I Hp went Into the passage nnd closed the door behind Iilm. He took down n hat from the tree In the hall nnd put It on. It wna IteuUn'a lint, and went over hla eyes, an, I wss nltogether n bail (It, but the sooner lie wns olT the better, nnd where he lind put his ifwn lint he could not recollect lu the present confusion of his fncultlis. He went on tiptoe to the front door, nnd drew hnck the henvy bolts mid the big lock. He opened the door and lit In tho wind nnd rnln nnd Knrnh Kust Ult! Yes, It waa Ids slater, with a shawl over her lialr, nod her fnce, whlto nnd wild, peering from It. HIip had nine bnck she knew all he wss dono fori I "Tom, you villain!" she shrieked forth, at first sight or him. Thomas Knatbell went down on Ida kneea at the annie moment na Iteuben . cnine from the drnwlng room. I "Oh, Iteuben! take enre of me," Hornh j inurmureil, na aup weni lenrieaaiy iu .., friendly ahelter of his arms; "I hare no one else." "Bhe could nerer take care of herself, muttered the Indelible) Lucy, as sho fol lowed Iteuben Culwlck Into the hall. It waa as Mary Holland had said, and Hnrnh Kastbell wss back In her own houae, (To bo continued.) COLONEL TOLD THE TRUTH. Oot Half Hon and Won Case for the Nruro Who Htole It. "Tho Went Ima boiiip grcnt lawycra," anld tho Missouri colonel to the crowd that had been dlacusaliiir rnpld flre enses 1c court. "Oh, I don't know." aald the younc lawyer from Hnckcnsnck; "etippoac you tinino a few of tlipm?" "Well." replied tlio rotoucl, "there'n old Jeff Thomson and Zeb Illnckburn and Col. Iko Hilton, nil of Christian County. Missouri, and any one of them can K've you KnaterncrH every spade In the deck, except one nud then win. "Tako Col. Ikp Hilton, for Instance. Why, oucp when he wna both lawyer and witness. It was the fall term of court at the comity scat of Christian County. The first case on the docket wna that of a negro charged with stealing n fattening hog. "There weru not many negroes In Christian County, for the simple rea son that they had to stand for about everything that hnppcned lu the crim inal line, and consequently got consid erably thliinod out. The one In this case was tho only negro In the town ship where tho man lived who lost the hog, ami when It disappeared lie had him arrested on general principles. Thnt time It happened that the negro whs guilty. "An soon as Link his name was Lincoln Washington, hut they called Iilm 'Link' for short ns soon as Link wns arrested he sent for Col. Ike, and, ns Link owned a little farm nnd had Komo lire stock. Col. Ike responded readily. " 'Lluk,' said Col. Ike, 'I guess you got that hog.' "Link was silent, for ho did not know whether It would be safe to con fess. " 'Come, now.' said Col. Ike, slapping htm on the bark, 'you got that bog, and If you don't own up I can't take your ense.' "Link squirmed uneasily. " 'Ynas, sail,' he said, 'Ah guess Ah has, Col. Ike.' " 'That's the stuff!' replied Col. Ike, reassuringly. 'Where Is the hog now?" , " 'It am kilt nn' drest an' cr hangln' j In mnlr smokehouse,' answered Link. "'All right, Link; now let mo tell you what to do. I'm going to get you loose, nnd ns soon ns you go home I wnnt you to cut that hog exactly In two nud bring me half. Do you hear? Then you hare me summoned for a witness.' "Lluk heard nnd agreed, and the next day there was fresh meat at Col. Ike's house. "When the case was called Link ap peared, wearing a serene smile. The court wns both surprised nnd Impress ed to find that he had such an Influen tial witness. Two other witnesses were called first, for a bluff, and then Col. Iko took the stnnd. "In response to the customary ques tion, 'What do you know about thla rnsc?' Col. Ike swore potntblank to Link's Innocence. ' 'I know,' he snld, 'that Link Wash ington here has no more of that hog than I hnve!' "Of course, such testimony wns In vincible, nnd Link wns not only ac quitted, but exonerated." "Now," continued tho traveling mnn, according to tho New York Times, "we'll hear from tha Kast." Ills Kxptanatlon Why aro people who buy gold bricks Invariably farmers?" asked the man who assumes superiority. I "I dunno," answered Mr. Corntossel, "unless it's because farmers are the only folks nowndaya who hnve money enough to mnko It worth while for sharpers to bother with 'cm," Wash ington Star I Almost Hhiht. ' "What do you know about this case?" asked the lawyer. "Nothing," replied tho witness. "I-m the expert." Subsequently his testimony proved conclusively that he knew less than nothlug. Chicago Tribune. i A Huapect. She You didn't stny long In London. He No, I couldn't stand It. Over there everybody kuew mo for an Amer ican right nwny. Here. In New York, no one ever suspects It. Smart Set. , TRICK OF THE JAPS TO FOItTS OI'BN KIItK ON THE DUMMY LIOIIT3. Itafts bearing lights are reported to have been used by the Japs at various points on the Kwontung (Port Arthur) peninsula to ascertain the location, character and rnngo of Ilusslan gnus. Such rafts, which are not altogether new In warfare, are constructed out of sight of the enemy, fixed with lamps to represent ships' lights, and turned loose at a point where the tide will carry them toward the enemy's forts. The gunners In the forts see a string of lights a mile or two out and open fire on what looks like a line of ships. Torpedo boats of the attacking fleet are close enough to observe where the fire comes from, the range of the guns, end their size. Where the attacking fleet already has this Information the trick Is used to cause the enemy to waste ammunition. PRESIDENT ROOSEVELT'S "OFFICIAL TWINS." ETHAS A. IIITCIUOCK. The chums of President Roosevelt's Cabinet are Ethan Allen Hitchcock. Secretary of the Interior, and James Wilson, Secretary of Agriculture. They are comrades In every sense of the word. For years they have walked away from cabinet meetings together, except on bad days, when their carriages were waiting for them. They manage to finish Uielr work In the Cabinet room about the same time and leave the President's ofllccs together, Mr. Hitchcock lighting a cigar as be walks away from the Cabinet room. The friendship between tho two men dates bnck three or four years. They are men of much the samo temperament and naturally got together. They began to like each other nnd the comradeship followed. They nre Jocu larly twitted by the President as the "ottlcl.il twins" of bis Cabinet and the other Cabinet members say funny things to them and about them. Tbey go on, however, as they have gone for years, believing In and Admiring each other. HANDY ElECTRIC fAV. Every year brings out some new design In electric fans, which have of recent years proven as great a boon to the power companies as to the surfer lug humanity, whose midsummer suf ferings nre greatly alleviated through tho means of these little devices. Tho compnnles find It profitable to encour age tho use of fans for the reason that It makes a demand for the current nt a time of the year when thero Is but CAN HE SCnlSWED INTO LAMP SOCKET. little used for light and the faus are so generally resorted to In large cities that this demand equalizes things to a very great measure. Whnt Is probably the latest thing In ths Hue Is the llttlo thing showu In the accompanying cut, the compact ness nnd economy of which aro Its chief recommendations. The construc tion of this fun Is very simple and the cost therefore slight, and has the ad vantage that It can be screwed direct ly Into the socket of nn ordinary lamp, consuming the same amount of current as a sixteen candle-power lamp. The speed of tho blades Is said to bo 1,000 revolutions per minute. Uy the use of a plug and cord the fan can be placed In any desired position. NO JAIL COULD HOLD HIM. French Ilurular Mukea Good Illelloast That lie Would llreak Juti. The police turouguotit the whole of Franco nre making a thorough search for a hotel burglar named Vnnder wegaetc. who recently mnde a won derful cscapo from Lille prison, whero he wns coutlncd lu nn underground condemned cell. He hnd been placed there becnuso he had boasted that the Jail could not keep him. Tho massive door of the cell opened on to n corri dor, at tho end of which wns another door, fitted with n snfety lock. Locked up for tho night on Mon day, Vanderwegnete wns not to be found on Tuesday morning. Ho had left n couplo of keys nindo of tin bo hind him nB n memento. It Is sup posed that ho mndo nn Impression of tho lock of tho cell with bread given DRAW RUSSIAN FIRE." LIGHTS JAMES W. WItSOX. to him. With some more brend he made n mold. In which he cast a key out of a tin cup. the mer.H being melt ed on his stove. The same night he opened bis door, took a bread crumb Impression of the corridor lock, made another key nnd soon found himself outside the corridor. From a cupboard be abstracted a sheet and a broom handle, which he tied together and mnde his way Into the prison yard. After scaling the Interior wall, which Is nine feet high, ho climbed another wnll by n waterspout nnd then dropped fifteen feet with the nld of n blanket which be hnd taken from his cell. Breaking Into a tailoring estab lishment clone by. he exchanged his prison uniform for n fashionable suit nnd overcoat and took $20 from the till nnd some cigarettes. Ho has not been heard of since. NOISE OF A MOVING TRAIN. Engineers Are Not DUturlied by the Itattle of Cora Over tho Italia. The locomotive engineer was talking about his run. He mn ntalned that, with the roar nnd rumble of the en gine directly beneath him nnd of 'he train thundering behind, he had no trouble .In bearing what his fireman on the other side of the cab said to him, and the fireman could undirstind and answer. The noise of the tinln seems to bo something extra accord ing to him, to which he has become so accustomed that It does not Interfere la any way with his ordinary faculties. It appeared, from his remarks, to be like n dull clatter of numerous type writers In a big ofllec, which never In terferes with speech or thought once n person has become accustimed to the noise. Ho asserted that he know of old engineers who had become ston? deaf when they were not In the cab, nnd their friends had to yell at them tn make themselves understcod. But ns soon ns the veterans stepped Into tho engine and got tho rat'le of the train In their ears they could hear the ordinary conversational voice, despite the thunder of the machinery nnd the wheels. As soon as the train stopped tl.ey were denf again for that Interval, only to be right as soon as tho pande monium of the wheels shook up their aural openings. rittsburg Dispatch. Coat nr Eleotrlo Lights. Tho cost of city electric lights ranges from 2 to 3 cents an hour n lamp. Talk Is cheap unless you aro using a long-dlstnnco telephone. Don't forget that a promising man seldom pays cash. FI8H FOODNOT THE BEST. Man? Vnllnclea IteicnrdhlK. a Diet on Bcu 1'roducta Are llitnnt. It Is doubtful whether any given food In common use contains constitu ents which hnve a selective action, so to speak, on the property of minister I lug to one part of the body more than another. As a rule, when a food Is assumed to have specific reparative I properties as, for example, a so-called brain or nerve food the fact really Is i thnt such food Is easily and quickly assimilated to the body's general ad j vantage; In a word, In such a case re I pair quickly overtakes waste nnd n' t real purposeful nutrition and restora-1 I Hon nre accomplished. The admlnls- j 1 tratlon of such elements as phosphorus 1 or Iron In medicine. Is, of course, n I different matter, but these elements ' are evenly distributed In the materials ' of a dally diet. I It Is often stated that fish Is a food , I which ministers particularly to tho needs of the brnln because It contains , phosphorus. As a matter of fact, fish I does not contain more phosphorus than j I do the ordinary meat foods, and It leertalnly does not contnln It In a free .state. The notion that fish contains : phosphorus had no doubt Its origin In i the glowing phosphorescence of fish In I the dark. Tills phosphorescence Is due ! not to phosphorus at all, but to micro organisms. The belief, therefore, thatj flsh Is brain food Is Just about ns ren-' . sonable as the Idea that because a soup Is thick and gelatinous "It will 1 stick to the ribs" or as sensible ns the I celebrated advice to Verdant Green to lay In a stock of Heading biscuits to assist bis reading. Fish, of course, Is excellent food, partly because of the nourishing na ture of Its constituents and partly be cause of its digestibility. Hut It Is In no sense a specmc ror Drain or nerve. London Lancet LIVELY ELEVATOR QIRL. 3Iartha Washington Hotel Has One Pro Tem.f and Approves of Her. The Martha Washington Hotel bat an elevator girl. Her services were volunteered, and were accepted only as an experiment In an emergency. They have proved so satisfactory that petition will be presented to the managers, requesting them to do away with the elevator boys. Yesterday was a busy day at the Martha Washington, and the boy man aging the second elevator ran It to the third floor and deserted It at a tlm when one of the other elevators was out of order. A crowd gathered on the third floor, and there was furious ring ing of elevator bells. Finally, a neat little maid appeared. "I'll take you down," she volunteer ed. "OhP' exclaimed one of the ladles, "mercy on us! Do you know anything about it?" "I guess I can do anything those boys can do," said the girl. Several of the women said tbey wert not afraid, and stepped In. and the ele vator shot down with n Jump. It went so fast that Mary shut on the power with a yank that brought the emer gency brakes into play, and the eleva tor stopped with a terrific Jolt halt way between the first and second floors. "It's all right," said Mary, reassur ingly. "I Just started too sudden and quit too sharp. Now, this time It'll ba all right" And It was. Then, Just to show what she could do, Mary ran the car from the top to the bottom of the building twice with out letting the passengers out She rnn the car until the boy came back and demanded his Job. New York Sun. Perils tn Electric Wire. It was claimed at one time that the substitution of electricity for gas and petroleum In lighting would result In a lessening of tho danger from fire, llut a recent report Issued by the Mon treal fire and light committee tends to show that the danger has been In creased rather than diminished by the change. The report givei a record of 1W fires due to electric currents dur ing the last three months of 1003, with an aggregate loss of $1,C00,000. When classed according to causes the list shows that twenty-two flres were due to the contact of telephone, telegraph and other low potential wires with electric light and other high ten sion circuits. Wires grounded on gas pipes were responsible for nineteen flres. Eleven flres were due to the de fective wiring of gas fixtures, five to the puncturing of gas pipes by the cur rents on flexible cords wrapped around them, three to short circuits In mold ings, three to open link fuses In porce lain cut out basc3, fifteen to overheat ed resistance colls and heating devices and nine to Incandescent lamps com ing In contact with Inflammable mate rial. In the same report 135 flres are recorded In which electricity was sus pected of being the cause, but In which all material evidences of origin were destroyed. Toronto Globe. Vagaries ol Our Language. The vagaries of English spelling aro welt illustrated In the following ex tract The words sound properly, but the spelling does not correspond to tho meaning required. It would make a good exercise in spelling to rewrite the extract In its proper form: Know won kneads weight two bee tolled thee weigh too dew sew. A rite suite little buoy, the sun of a grate kernel, with a rough around his neck, flue up the rode as quick as a dear. After a thyme he stopped at a blew bouse and wrung tho belle. His tow hurt hymn and he kneaded wrest lie was two tired to raxo his fare, pall face. A feint mown rows from his Hps. The made who herd" the belle was about two pair a pare, butt she through it down and ran with awl her mite, for fear her guessed wood knot weight Butt when she saw the llttlo won, tiers stood in her ayes at the site. "Ewe poor deerl Why dew yew lye hear? Aro you dyeing?" "Know," he said, "I am feint" Rh hour hvmn in her arms, nntl hurried two a rheum where ho mite bee quiet, gave mm nreu anil meet, held a cent bottle under his knows, untlde his neck scarf, rapped him ur warm, and gave him a suite drachm. St Nicholas. Ho Why does this theater have Its orchestra concealed? She Why? Just wait until you hear It play. Teacher Whero was the Declara. Hon of Independence signed? Tommy At the bottom. Chicago Dally News. Wantanno Why do you call that boy of yours "I'lnnnel?" Duzno Ho cause bo Just naturally shrinks from washing. Edlthn I wonder why tho dudes wear one eyeglass? Deborah To pre vent seeing inoro than they nre able to comprehend, "Ma, Is thcro any pie left In the pantry?" "There Is one piece, but you can't hnvo It" "You nre mistaken, ma; I've had It" Fond Parent I understand tho fac ulty are very much pleased with your work. Dropped Junior Yes, they en cored my sophomore year. "Grace, can you tell me whnt is meant by a cubic yard?" "I don't know exactly, but I guess It's a yard that the Cuban children play In." Old Grim ltemcmbcr, young man, tbere Is always room nt the top. Young Sprawley Oh, I know that; I'm waiting for the elevator now. Judge. Lord Llttlecash (lovingly) You are my sonl. Edith Yes; I told papa that "Oh, what did ho say?" "Said you didn't earn enough to keep your soul and body together." Nurse Johnny, stop asking your fa ther so many questions. Don't you see it annoys him? Johnny Why, nurse, It's not the questions that make him angry; it's because he can't an swer them. A husband said to his wife: "I dreamed last night that I caught a man running away with you." "What did you say?" she asked. "I wanted to know what be was running for." re plied the husband. Mrs. Cloaeflst Oh, do buy me a new bonnet, my dear, tt will set all my friends talking. Closeflst If you're after notoriety, why don't you get the eld one retrlmmed? That will make your friends talk twice as much. "I see that choice Bengal tigers have been marked down to $100 each." "For goodness' sake, don't let my wife read that paragraph. Here's my knife. Cut It out If those tigers are on the bargain counter she'd want at least two." He (bitterly) If I were rich you'd marry me fast enough! She Don't, Gussle, don'tl Such devotion breaks my heart! He What do you mean? She Often you have praised my beauty, but never before my common sense! "Hello, Freddie! Are you play in" robber?" "Playln" nutbln'. This Is the real thing. I'm wattln' for tho cook, an" when she comes she'll tell where she hides the pics, or I'll know the reason why." New York Evening Journal. "John," asked tho lawyer's wife, who had recently taken up the health culture fad, "is it best to He on the right side or the left side?" "My dear." replied the legal luminary, "if one is on the right side It Isn't usual ly necessary to He at all." Mrs. Youugwed You know Uncle Pincher said he was going to send us something that would help us savo our coal bills this year? Well, it came. Mr. Youngwed Itcally A stock of coal? Mrs. Youngwed No. A little arrangement for filing bills. ne (as they were seated In a quiet nook near the links) Are you quite sure we have never met before this season? She Yes; quite positive. He Afld you haven't n sister? She No; why do you ask? He Well. I'm positive I hugged that blouse before, somewhere. Call a girl a chick, and she smiles; call a woman a hen, nnd she bowls. Call n young woman a witch, and she is pleased; call an old. woman a wltcb, and she Is Indignant. Call a girl a kitten, and she rather likes It; call a woman a cat, and she'll bate you. Queer sex. Isn't It? Chicago News. Burglar Gimme yer Jewels! Lady of the House Did you shut the win dow after you? Are you sure you wiped your feet? What did you do with that burnt match? Did Bur glar Er I I guess I forgot it Don't say another word, nia-nm, an I'll go right out Chicago News. "Did I understand you to say that you didn't have any company In the kitchen while I was out, Katie?" "Vis, mum, that's what I said." "But I smell the tobacco from a pipe all through the house." "YIs, mum; the policeman was tn for bnlf nn hour, mum, but wc were In the drawing room." Economical: First farmer Did they hev fire-escapes at the hotel where ye slept Zeke? Second farmer No, but It was the most eckernomlcal tav ern I ever seen. First farmer In what way, Zeke? Second farmer Why, they had a rope hanging In ev ery room, so that you could commit suicide without wastln' the gas. Phil adelphia Telegraph, ne Told Her at Last. "There hi something," be said, "that I have want cd to teU you for a long time, but " "Ob, Bertie," she said, blushing sweet ly, "not here In the car before all those people. Walt Come this evening." "It's merely that you hnve a streak of soot down the middle of your nose, but I couldn't for the life of me get a word In till Just now." Chicago Rec ord-Herald. Murder Record In South Carolina. According to the report of the at torney general of South Carolina to the General Assembly of that State, the circuit solicitors have tried since 188S 2,781 cases for murder. During the last fivo years 038 murder trials have been held and In 402 of these tho verdict wns "not guilty." The murder record for the State last year was 2J2, or nearly flvo a wcok. Of theso 102 were convicted, but the sentences In many Instances were ridiculously inadequate!