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About Bohemia nugget. (Cottage Grove, Or.) 1899-1907 | View Entire Issue (April 8, 1904)
. Second Cousin 5arah $
1 nr riir. avtiioh or J
"Annk jviwr., srimtrrH." "iittik hatc Kinnr," Iw
Hho htiil K"llu deeper tlinn Ibis lulu
tli(iMlil before Hi" iirmli'iil iiinn iilsivu
klnlra 1 1 nil Mulshed llii' lust will mill 1 i-t n -mcnl
(if Hiirnli Enslbell, Hho hnd fotiMt
tell nil ilniiKcr In ln-r lovi-lrruin, lull alio
awoke audilciily in II tit IIihMiik n llit'iin
slalullni; nt her elbow, Willi nnd Khost
llke, n nouiclhliiK friiin lliu other world
ho verily believed In Iiit Nml oil rpilmi
nml Imiriir. Two yearn a no tlila IicIiik
hnd Urol only to nli(lit aim hnd honed
Hint alio wna dcnd nml aim aprnin( up
nml win! linck Willi hands spread nut
ngnlliol tho wall, loo ferritin! In ncrciiin.
"I I null I don't innko row ilnn't ynu
know me?" criinkrd tho hnKKnrd llgiri'
"Hnphy Totn'n wife!" pjnciiluled
"Yes but not dcnd yet oh, dour, no
Murk n Tiim'n runt Is!" alio vthlaper
i ll linck,
Hiirnli Klnnrcd nt litr. Hh had not
yet recovered from the shock, ml llio
woman won terribly forlorn nml rnifcd,
with n donth'a hcnd kIcmiiIiik from n bat
tered hlnck atrnw hnimiM.
"How illil you olitaln admittance to
"Tlirotiith Hint window It wnii unfnst
rniMl." "Von Imro come In aenrch of Tom"
"No, mi lo wnrn you of a dniiitcr of
mi awful iIoiikit, na I lli'. Hnlly, to you
mill your iirandiiintherl 1 can't trll jou
hero -1 ilnri'ii't lie seen liy Tom," alio
Whispered llll, "ho would kill in If he
found inn ul lila hcela, Ulltalilu III llir
Harden I rmi hrrntlw a Ml."
"I will nunc with you."
Hnrnh followed Mra. Tom Enatbell,
who Wnlkod very frolily, Into tlu jnr.li-n,
where Utile nhllo aco alio liail aeon
Mlaa llollnml nml Captain l'eteraon to
Sftlicr. Vii tlila n furlliiT liiatallincnt
uf llio mystery nlioul her? or In llio
ahndowa of thn nk'ht woulil aim approach
rjoaor to llm Irillli? In thinking- of Hen
ben Culwlck, nml fora-cdlng- ovrrythliix
else, what vntunhla lime inliiht alio not
Imro lost 7-- she who ahouM Imro been
watchful nt nil hnxnrds of the men who
alio know wrro ilntiffcroua.
Thin from olio tnyatery lo another
pnaard Hccoiidcoualn Snrali.
Tlio will of Unroll Enatbell vraa Mtn
pitted, nml llnrllry, tho mahl, and a
arcoml aervnnPwrre Introduced Into the
room to witness the old Imly'a effort nt n
"It' n Hood thin ilniio, aftrr all,"
muttered Mra. Kaalbclt aa alio Iny ilown
"Il'a lirlaf nml unlnwycr-llke," anlJ
llrulirn, rnulemplnllilK tlio will, "but I
Think It aria forth your Intentions clenrly,
mini. Whnt ahnll I ilo with It!"
"Inck It In Ihnt Iron box; tho key la
umlor my pillow," anl! SIra. KnathFll.
Itciilnii fuuml llio key, ami lockiil up
tho will, rralorluic th kry to Ita pluro
t'Mioath hla nunt'a licml.
It liml liin n ilny of moro thmi nnll
miry fnllcuo nml mcllpmrnt to Mra.
Initl'll, nml alio waa tlri'il out; alvep
wna llfv to n womnn of her act, nml ho
wouhl not trouhlo her nunln conci-nilnit
tlio crnnililniiKhliT, or ak lirr miy 'una
tlona rcapfctlne the cnitnci'infiit. Tin ro
would ho tlmo cnonuli to-morrow to con
titer that anil Hornh wan wllln for
ltouhon went downatnlra llinushtfully.
Hi) hnd nliuoat reaolred to procerd to tho
gallery In tho flrat place, but tho tempta
tion wna too atroiiK to arek out hla aecoml
coutlu, who would aurrly bo In tho draw
ing room nwnlllni; hlni. Ho hnd a iin-iit
deal to tell her now, mid a little to ei
plain concenilne hla paat mlaonthropy,
wlilch had tfrown moro atronjl)- dorrlop
rd na alio nt Inat aremrd to fnitii nwuy
inoro completely from Mm. A rent hero
inu hnd hla Hecond-coiialn Karnh prored
lieraelf lo bo; he wlahed thnt ho hnd been
moro of a hero to mntch, that ho hnd
moro brnrely endtinil the Inerltablo. Mho
lid not know yet whnt nil nballnnlo mid
lind-ti'inperpil uinii ho wna, nml how ho
liml iiunrroleil with crerjlimly III turn
lifter hla fnthcr'a denth. lit went Into
tho drawluB room full of theao odd reao
lutlona, mid found Mury llollnml thorn.
Where la Bnrnli?" he naked, after n
glnnco round tho room had naaured him
of tho nlarnco of hla aernnd-coualu.
"Rnrnli'r" aitld Mlaa Holliind, eprlnutiu
to her feet. "linn alio not been with you
In Mra. KnatbelPa room?"
"She left It half nn hour alnce."
"Wnlt nn Inatnnl."
Mnry Hollnnd left tho room; nml lieu
ben remnliied, with n now perplexity to
tinltlo wllh, mid rlalne iloubta mid fenrs
to bent down.
Mnry Holland entered tho mom again,
mid wan atandlne t tho door, a paler
mid moro nffected woman than when he
hftd aeeu her n few minutes alnce,
"tiouul" alio anld nt lnat.
"Whnt do you moan?"
"That Hint Hiirnli Knatlirll la not In
tho liouap," explained Mary.
"It enn't bo truel" ojnculnted Itoulvn.
"Htny, let mo think still. For hoar
cn'a anko glvo a dlalractetl woman tlmo
to think I"
Iteubcn, In tho mldat of hla excitement,
remembered afterward that tho demeanor
of Mary Holland nrouacd In him for an
Instant a half-wondering Intcreat, as In
n dream of vacuo beliefs and startling In
consistencies; and then the trouhlo of
Harnh's nbaenco took nway all thoujht of
"Her brother and tho man ha brought
wllh Mm," said ltouben, "where nro
"The.r nro In tho gallery still; they
could not have left tho room without my
"They ii ro In this plot, If plot ihcro
can be," said Ilcuhvn.
Mnry Holland ran to the window r.nd
looked back at llouhcn.
"Openl" she cried.
Iteubcn mid Mnry Holland stepped In
to tho garden, and looked nround them.
It was n dark, dry night, with tho stars
hidden now, mid tlio wind soughing
through tho larches on tho hlllaldo with
such ptnlntlvo monnliiBS thnt lteubvn
strove to cittcli tlio accents of his cous
in's volco amldat them,
"Wo nhnll Hnd her In tho garden," said
ltouben iisaurlugly, us ho strode iiloug
tho paths, with which ho was ncilimlut
rd, and directed Mary Hollnnd In it dif
ferent direction, When they met again
a quarter of nil hour had passed, and they
wero no nearer tlio discovery of Har.ih
Kaatliell. Hho had vanished away com
pletely, as by n miracle; nnd Ileilheii
stood discomfited by tho drawing foom
"This Is beyond nil guessing nt, ' ho
aid, with n hnlf groan,
"Tho window of tho picture gallery Is
closed and bnrrcd," snld Mnry Holland,
"but thoy nro thoro still."
"I will see them nt once," snld Ueuhen;
"menuwhllo send out tho servants to
search tho country. There hits boon foul
"No, not" exclaimed Mary Holland,
"lie anld ho promised "
"Who promised?" naked ltcuhen ipilck-
"Hnrnh'a brother," answered Mary, lif
ter a moment's alienee.
"Well promised what?" said Iteuheii
"That ho mid his friend would not In
any way disturb the prnco of this houau
Ihnt they weru here In all sincerity
"Do you ask mo to believe III that vagn-
b I, Tom Knsthell? Mem! Iho scrmota
alinmil, nml lento these men to inr," anld
ltouben, pnsslug from her Into Hie draw
ing room, mid proceeding through llm
room Into the hull, and nluiig the '-orrl-dor
lownrd the picture gnllrry. lie mill
ed I be hnmllii sharply mid entered.
The two men uero there. Ill Iho ruin
lolling In Hie nrmi-hnlr there waa no dim
cully in lilenllfjIUK Thomas Knttbell;
but ho who bent closely, mid In near
sighted fashion, over music Isiok prop
ped ngnlnat Iho lamp, waa n atrnngrr I e
had never met before. It wna nt Mm
Ihnt ltcuhen garni, distrusting blni mora
nl flrat sight than Thomas Haatlicll.
"I nm Iteuheii (!ulwlek," aald our hero
sternly, looking from olio lo tho oilier.
"I don't bear you III will, mind," said
Tom; "when 1 waa In trouble onco In rol
ler's Court, nml the pollre enuio, nml
)(iu might Imro made inlarhlrf out of a
little hit of Iniieraent rhnR we hnd to
gi tlier, you aloud by me like n trump, nnd
I'll aim lie hnnda wllh you, If you oak
me, Jut for my alsler'a sake."
"Which of oii two men will naro Mm
aelf from Jail by telling mo where Hornh
Kaatliell la?" thundered forth ltouben
Thomna Knattadl'a lower Jaw dropped
nt Mr. Culwlck's fvhemeui-e, and hla sain
bianco of astonishment wna admirably
filgiied, iinlesa he wna astonished In renl
earnest, ('nptnln Peterson aat down with
hla bands upon Ida knees, In tho attlt'lla
nl one who anticipated n narrstlru of
gront Intereat lo follow.
"Where Hiirab ICastliell la!" aald I'e
teraon; "why do you put audi an extra
ordinary question to us, sir, and nrcoin
panled by audi n threat na tho Jail?"
"Mho la not In Iho house, nnd you two
know whero alio lias gone."
"Miss Knatbell wna In tho drawing
room n quarter of nn hour ago, when I
ateppod In for my violin," anld l'eter
aon; "surely alio boa not left tho bouse
alnce? There must be some mistake. Mr.
Culnlck, mid, mistake or not, you will
exrtiaa mo for protesting against your
manner of addressing Mrs. Kaatbell'a
Cnptnln l'eteraon spoke wllh a fakir
lug voice, mid wllh considerable warmth,
ai a man might do whose feelings had
Ikcii unnecessarily wounded, nml lteubn
Culwlck regarded him with graver Inter
eat. Here waa a being to bo wary of, If
this wero acting.
"Muy I Inquire1 your name?" aald ltou
ben. "My name la l'eteraon, air Captain
l'eteraon, of llio merchant serrleo 1
friend of Thomna Kilslbcll's, nod If not
nil old friend, still one who docs not ft el
disposed to njlow him to tie browbeaten
without n word of protest. "
"l'eteraon," mullered ltouben, hnlf
aloud. Tho name wns wholly unfamiliar
to him It had not been mentioned on
Hint night In Potter's Court, nod unly
aomc dnya afterward by I.ucy Jennings,
when It had not lingered In Ida memory.
Captain l'eterson'a dark eyea peered from
under Ida brows nt Mr. Culwlck, na lie re
peated his nnmo In n low tone, and there
wna tho faintest smllo of anllafncli-n
flickering over hla frcah-colorcd face at
the discomfiture expressed on Iteuben's.
"You both deny nil knowledge of my
cousin's dlnnppcnrnnco?" snld Heub.ni.
"Wo do," anld Peterson, with grave po
liteness; mid Tom took Ida oath upon it
nt onco, tiy wny of milling forco lo Ida
denial. "And now, sir, perhaps jou will
tell us whnt hss hnppcnrd."
"And relieve a brother's anxiety," mid
od Tom. "Sbo's tho only sister that I
hnvo got In tho world, nnd wo havo al
wnys been very fond of nno another."
"You overdo your anxiety," anld Heu
lieu, dryly, "nnd I nm still suspicious of
you. Hnrnh Knatbcll haa disappeared
suddenly from tlila house within the
Inat half-hour nnd you nro tho men of
whom alio hna been In fear. To thnt fact
I swear beforo n magistrate to-morrow.
To-morrow tho pollco will search tho
houso and grounds for traces of her. I
telegraph to-morrow to Scotland Yard
for ono of Its ablest otllccrs to meet us
Thomas Kaalbell wns heard to mutter
a malediction of tho most violent kind
upon his second-cousin's promptitude, but
his friend turned quickly to hlni, and
"Don't giro wny, Thomna, Don't let
your sensibilities get tho better of you,
mid lower your chnrnctcr beforo this man
of many llirenta. You have been unfor
tunate, In your early days yon hnra had
tho frankness to confess It to mo, nnd
the generosity to ntono for It to others
but your Inter lifu Is without stain or
blemish. Lot tho police come; you can
fnco them In your aunt's house whero
this gentleman Is moro nn Intruder than
yourself without a blush upon your hon
"At your peril be It, If she Is not
found," snld ltouben; then he strode from
tho room, doubtful In Ills own heart of
thrso men's complicity with tho mystery
of Hnrnh Kastbell's disappearance.
As the door closed, Tom leaped to his
feet and went across to his friend, whom
ho clutched by tho shoulder nervously.
"Hns alio really gone?"
"Yes," said Ned, coolly; "fortune has
faTored us, and she has left your grand
"There must bo no harm done to her,"
Tom said, trembling; "I won't tinvn her
hurt, I swear."
"You left all to mo, Tom EnsOnll,"
said Captain l'eteraon; "it's too lata to
complain, whatever happens."
Only una person slept that night In tho
big housa at Sedge Hill. Whllo Mrs.
Knathcl! slumbered, tho Inmates wero
astir, and not n few of them abroad, beat
ing right and left for scraps of Informa
tion, and falling In their object misera
bly, Sarah Uastboll bad disappeared,
leaving not n trace by which she might
As ltouben rode to Worcester he scan
ned tho hedge rows, and the dry ditches,
for n trnco of her; he turned Into yawn
ing lanes where alt was of nn Indlstln
gulsluiblo darkness; he reined In his horso
tlfty times to listen to tho noises of tho
night the shriek of a distant engine, toll
ing on with its luggngo through tho coun
try to somo bustling centori the radio
of tho train, the rustling of the troos,
the whirring of a night bird In tho long
grass of tho meadows, the yelping of dogs
lu tho farm houso yards, as ho dinned
by. Ho found his way at last to Wor
cester, and went slowly, hopelessly along
Its deserted streets In the direction of
the pollen station.
It wns soven In Iho morning when hn
waa at Hedge I XIII ngnln. Ho rodo back
In hot haste, as if something unfurcaccn
were to Is? thwarted by hla quick return ;
nnd ho wna prepared fur evil tidings, na
bo pn I Into Iho hull nml found Mlaa
Hollnnd, pule ns he hnd aeen lier Inst,
nwnlllug him with eager eyea.
"Whit newa what hna happened Mnco
I lutvti Is-eu nway?" ho exelnlmed.
"Nothing hna linppeind," answered
Mnry Hollnnd; "nml you? Hnvo ,.,u
henrd or seen "
"There) Is not n trnco of her."
lie snt beforo tho lire whero his eoiisln
Hnrnh wns surprised by her alaler-ln-lnw,
nnd endeavored from Ida bewildered brain
lo shape out n Beheme for her dlai overv,
when the mnld Hartley entered Willi
breakfnat on n Utile Irny, nnd set II down
on a culfen table ut Ids aide.
There wos a letter lying on llio nay,
addressed lo himself, Tlio superscription
wns In a strange band, n lino bold hum)
writing, ehnrnelerlied by loo iniiny Hour
lahca to lie wholly satisfactory, and tin
look up tho letter curiously, broke tho
enl nod rend the following epistle-
"Kir After your discourteous beli.ilor
of yesterdny evening, I enniiot, with fnt
Isfattloli lo myself, remain u guest in
your aunt's establishment. 1 feel com
pelled lo withdraw from n position which
It la Ineoiiipnllhlo wllh my dignity to re
tain. I Imro Intrusted Mr. TIioiiiiih Kasl
bcll with my kind regards to his gruud
inothrr, lo whoso hospitality nml Invaria
ble kindness I am forever deeply Indebt
ed. My servant will call for my violin
In tho courso of next week. I beg lo ro
nioln, air, your obedient servant,
There wns n deep furrow on the brmv
of Iteulien Culwlck when he had finish
ed the perusal of tills letter.
"Why wna this man allowed to tenvs
tho houso?" hu naked. "Ilo who calls
himself Cnptnln Peterson."
"I didn't know that ho won gone, sir.
Not llmt I could hnvo stopped Mm, Mr.
Culnlck, as all the servants wero nway
when I saw him last."
"When wna thnt?"
"At five o'clock this morning. He wns
talking to Miss Hollnnd here, jutt
wlmre I slniid, air and 1 think Hint thoy
wero huvlng n few words. 1 don't know
for certain, hut I think so."
"You suspected thetn?" said ltouben
"N no, sir, I don't say Hint," wns the
quick answer, na the woman flinched be
fore Ida slendy gnro; "but I was curious,
of course. It's all In such n muddle, Mr,
Just now, and Mlaa Holland's very kind;
aho'a been alwn)a very kind (o all of us,
but I wanted to hear what they had to
say, because poor Mlsa Hnrnh wns angry
nt those two being together In the garden
"Those two which two?"
"Miss Hollnnd mid the Captain."
"Hnrnh wns angry," repented ltouben
"With Mlsa Holnnd, Just before you
enme. Hho anld alio couldn't trust her.
I henrd that na I was passing with my
mistress' gruel, quite by accident."
"That will do," said ltcuhen, moodily;
"don't say nny moro. I will wait for
(To be continued.)
THE BOY AND THE MERCHANT.
Sundry Testa, a Final Cliotca and a
A merchant prince of Washington,
needing additional belp. Inserted iho
following advertisement In n morning
"Hoy Vnntcd-$l n week; ?0 to tho
A group of two or threo dozen appli
cants nwnlleil the merchant tho next
'day In his olllcc. One nt a time they
were ndmllted, and to ench In turn tho
"Take this book and rend on without
pause or break until I tell you to
Tlio lioy would tnke the volume nnd
begin to rend. Tho merchant after a
moment would rlso with n sharp ex
cliinintlon nnd drop a heavy paper
weight on the floor. This usually would
excite the curiosity of the render, who
would putise and rnUe his eyes from
the text to see what wns golnR on.
Hut If he refrained from doing this tho
merchant would put him to another
test by tnkliiR n puppy doc from a
closet and beginning to romp with It
All the boys but one fell before tho
test of the .nippy dos. They stopped
rcndlnc they looked on nt tlio romp
with smiles, nnd somo of them even
went so far na to any:
"What's tho dog'a name, mister?"
Those who failed like thla were bid
den to depart. Hut the ono boy who
did not fnlt tlio merchant took by tho
lituul. "I want you," ho said, "for It la
plnlu thnt you arc master of yourself,
I told you to keep on rending, and you
kipt on, though to test you I dropped
nr. Iron pnpcr-welglit nud played with
n puppy dog. I'll tnko you, therefore,
Into my employ at $ 1 n week, and If
you do ns well ns I think you will
your salary will bo rnlsed to $0 a week
within nine months."
Tlio boy, who hnd on honest, open
countenance, anld: "I thank you, sir.
Mother will bo glad to hear or this, I
will report for duty at 8 o'clock to
And, bowing politely, tho lad with
drew, holding his cap In Ills hand.
Tho merchant gave hlni, Hie next
morning, ?-5 In greenbacks to deposit
In bank. "You nro innster of yourself,"
ho said, "and without fenr I give you a
position of trust nt once."
The boy set out for tho bnnk, but
novcr reached It. Neither did ho ever
return to his employer again, Ho dis
appeared completely. Ho wns n scouu
drel nnd thief.
Thereafter, In engaging help, tho
merchant was guided by references
rather than by testa.
In London recently two nnclent
Aslmntl Coronation thrones, upholster
ed lu human akin, wero offered for
Biile. These nro said to hnvo been
brought from West Africa by .i mili
tary otneor. Tho thrones nro emblems
of Aslmntl royalty, nnd without them
tho successors of N'ICwnntn and
O'KInsu cannot bo crowned. The pur
chaser Incurs a certain responsibility
In their snfo custody, and might well
becomo tho victim of ono of thoao
nmnzlng Intrigues which novelists hnvo
woven round tho stolen sacred stones
of tho East.
There Is a special class of farm la
borers lu Sweden who nro given so
innny acres of land for their own use,
In consideration of so innny days' In
bor during tho year for tho owner of
tho farm. They nro u sort or llxtuvo
to nn estate, nnd their llko exists In
no other country,
JAPANESE IN A BAYONET CHARGE.
Notwithstanding their low stature and Inferior weight, the Japanese In
fantry nro snld to be Irresistible In a bayonet charge. They are trained to
wonderful awlftness In their mnnnor of attack. During a gradual advance
In open order, with Independent firing from tho kneeling position, the men
fix bayonets as opportunity offers without waiting for a general command.
Suddenly the olllcers spring lo the front, the men rise, form In two lines
and rush forward with extraordinary suddenness, a maneuver most trying to
tho enemy's nerve.
TO PREVENT RAILWAY HORRORS.
NEW PRESSED STEEL ALL METAL CAH.
New Yorkers who patronize the subway will enjoy tho novelty of riding
In nll-metal cars. It was officially announced by the Iuterborougb Hapld
Transit Company thnt the company bad placed with the American Car
Foundry Company an order for 200 pressed steel cars, all the furnishings of
which are to bo of metal.
"If they don't glvo satisfaction the people will soon discover It" aald
one of the company's officials. "If they are a disappointment they will soon
go to tho scrap heap. They have been ordered lu the belief that they will
add to the safety of traveling In the tunnel."
There are many Jlfllcultles to be overcome In nn ntl-steel car, and the
experts of tho Interborough company express confidence that many of the
most Important hnvo been conquered, so thnt they nre warranted in predict
ing that the nil-steel cars are likely to be the future vehicles used In railway
travel, both on the surface and under ground.
The necessity of adopting n car which will be absolutely fireproof, so
as to make Impossible such a disaster as occurred In the Paris subway, Is
of paramount Importance.
A WORLD'S tair toiriCE
IN TORM 01 A STAR.
Ono of tho most unique buildings nt
tho Louisiana I'urchnso Exposition at
St. Louis Is that representing theStata
of Texas. The general plan of the
edifice Is In Hie form of a flve-polnted
star. In commemoration of the fact
that Texas Is tho Lono Star State.
. When sho declared her ludependenco
from Mexico tho flag of the then re
public ot Texas ooro a single star, nuu
when she entered the American Union
the emblem took its placo In her State
seal. The building, which Is here
with shown, will bo very conspicuous,
being on a raised surface artistically
terraced. In the center the edifice con
sists of n single great dome. Branch
ing off from this nre Ave great wings,
each running to a point, with Ore
clan columns at the ends. Between the
wings of tho star are the entrances.
Tree Planting In China
Tree plauttug In northern China Is
being strenuously enjoined by tho au
thorities, not only ns a productive In
dustry for tho people, but nllko ns a
nieana of strengthening tho river em
bankments against floods nnd ot check
ing drought, snys tho Golden Penny.
Of late years trees havo boon cut down
wholcsnlo for agricultural purposes,
whllo tho peasants do not tnko tho
trouble to plant fresh ones, because the
soil Is so loose thnt they must dig
down very deep for a satisfactory
foothold. So vast tracts of fertile land
are left barren, whllo In tho northern
provinces especially tho Influx of sand
carried by high winds from tho Mon
golian deserts threatens to till up the
So In the Important province, of Chill,
which contains tho capital, I'ekln, there
la a government proclamation notifying
the "eight directions for tree planta
tion" most inlnuto Instructions na to
tho kind of tree required, tho depth
they should be planted nud tho fer
tilizers to bo used and tho 'ton bene
fits to bo derived from tlio same," such,
among others, ns the sale, of timber
and fruit, nnd tho beneficial liillucnco
of trees In nttrnittng rain, preserving
- Buituma at st. louis, j
the Just equilibrium of wind Influence,
nnd purifying the atmosphere, while
"travelers and families will find shade
and rest under the branches" a poetic
touch for conclusion.
Queer Customs In Japan,
Japanese ladles have been known to
do without stockings to maintain tho
harmony between beautiful French
slippers and magnificent evening
dresses. I have been served by a Jap
anese hosier who did without every
thing he did not supply himself ho
had a shirt, a collar and n tie and scarf
pin and studs, but no trouiers. And
the effect of their absence was height
ened by his wearing braces becauso
he sold them.
The Japanese do not kiss. If a Jap
anese girl knows how to kiss It shows
the work of a foreign Instructor; sho
does It as an accomplishment, not as
nn enjoyment The Japanese have no
pens and Ink, but they make a very
good shift with a painting brush. Tho
Japanese bouses have no chimneys
nnd you are never warm enough until
the house catches fire. The Japanese
have beef and no mutton; the Chinese
have mutton and no beef. Japanese
bells, like Japnnesa belles, have no
tongues. Japanese snakes have no pot
son; Japanese music has no harmony.
The Japanese alphabet Is not an alpha
bet, but a selection of seventy useful
Ideograms to dispense with the 30,000
In ordinary use by the Chinese. Queer
Things About Japan.
Keniblo and the Cracker.
No one else draws the truly South
ern darkey and "Cracker" as Mr. Kern.
bio does. He understands nnd appre
ciates them both artistically and hu
manly. Not long ago he was working
In Georgia. "I was sketching," ho said,
"an angular Cracker who was posing
for roe. He bad stood In various posi
tions for over an hour. When I asked
him what I should pay him ho replied,
"Wnl, I reckon n nickel would do!' I
shwed him tho sketches nnd asked him
his opinion. "Pears to me It's mighty
puddllii' business for a man tcr be
doln'. Hut then yew couldn't bo throw
In' money nway like this for mo doln'
no tb In' but Btandln' still, so I reckon
It must pay yew sutuln'.' "Leslie's
Luxury In Greenland.
Tho effect of great wealth Is to pro
duce a deslro for luxurious display lu
overy climate. The fellow tribesmen
of Kor-ko-yn of Greenland aro dum
founded nt his reckless extravagaiice.
Ho lives lu a wooden house, owns a
table and a paraflu lamp, and recently
nt a celebration ho treated his employ
es nil nround to cod liver oil. Such a
sceno of unrestrained icvclry had nev
er been witnessed In (hoso regions
Tho easiest wny for a girl to catch
a husband Is to not nm nfter him.
Doctor Why. you snld In your noto
that you had the croup and I come
here to find you have the rheumatism.
Patient Well, doc, there wasn't n
soul In the house who could spell rheu
matism. What Wc Slay Kxpect.
Another greHt opera had arrived
from Kurope nnd waa being produced
In New York.
"I shall assign twenty men to write
It up," said the great editor.
"Twenty?" echoed the assistant
"Yes. Nineteen to describe the peo
pie In the boxes and one to describe
Mr. Smith (to Rastus, whose mule refuses to move) Rastus, what do
you call your mule?
ltustus I reckon under do circumstances, boss, what I calls dat muls
wouldn' be fit to print
The kindergarten teacher had been
giving her class a little talk about the
"And now," she asked In concluding,
"can any one tell mo why we can't see
the moon when there Is a storm?" It
had rained the preceding night
Young Eddy bad n reply. "Why,
cause," said he, "If the moon came out
Uie rain would put out his light" De
troit Free Press.
Taklnir No Chances.
"My Intended husband Is a finan
"How do you know?"
"He didn't buy the engagement ring
until I hnd accepted htm.
Hla Bole Avocation.
"So your Uncle Totterly lived to the
great age of 109 years! How do you
account for his lougovlty?"
"I nttrlbuto It to tho fact that ho
was never known to do much of any
thing else." Smart Set.
"Did you know that leeches are still
used lu the practice of medicine?"
"No, but I know thnt some collection
agencies still employ them." Cincin
Soubrette So you went out with n
sea drama? I suppose thero was a
skipper In the play?
Comedian Yes, the manager skipped
with our salaries.
Wunted to Use It.
Bharpo Thought I'd have a Joke on
that tramp. Offered him a bathing
Whcalton What did ha say?
Bharpc Said he'd take It on condi
tion that I glvo him a ticket to Flor
ida. Of More Importance,
Mcckerton I wonder who really Is
the greatest person living to-day?
Mrs. Meekcrton Well, I know who
.lie greatest person living In this house
Is, nit right.
A maid she Is, hut It called old,
Sho declares It Is a libel;
Yot, strange to say, Bhe hid away
Tho dear old family bible.
Helllliiur It Amicably.
Mrs. Htroiigmlnd (pollco magistrate,
n few years hence) And so you bnvi
been hnvlng trouble with your wife?
Mr. Meek Yes, your honoress, sh
has Just driven ma out of the house.
This big bump was mado with a flat
iron. Mrs. Strongmlnd I sec. Well, wait
until It heals, und then, perhaps, If you
go back she'll forglvo you. New York
A Dangeroua Statement,
Newltt He's anxious to bo consid
ered a man of some social distinction,
II. inker lie's taking a queer way
Hunker lie says golf Is "mere torn
myrot" Philadelphia Press.
"If any man realizes that bit wife
s worth her weight In gold Gayman
"Why, I understand they were di
vorced." "Exactly, and It cost him Just about
that much to get rid of her." Phila
Merely a 8nciretloa
Borem (11 p. m.) Yes, I'm a perfect
martyr iu Insomnia. I've tried every
thing I ever beard of, but I simply
can't get to sleep at night
Miss Cutting (suppressing a yawn)
Did you ever try talking to yourself
nfter going to bed?
Means to an Knd.
"Mad? I should say sol I expected
a cap of hot coffee to warm me up
and when I got It It was stone cold."
"Then It seemed to produce the da
sired effect, after all. It made you
hot" Philadelphia Press.
Bome Good in It.
"Did dat last Job o' yours do nny
good?" asked the first burglar.
"Well, It'll Improve my education, I
guess. The man of the housa was a
book agent and before I got away h
made mo buy a cyclopedia." Philadel
Wouldn't So as Welt
Regular Guest Havo you tny
Walter No; we haven't had a elam
In the houao for a week.
Regular Guest Ob, well, bring ma
some clam chowder. Exchange.
tVonld Not Hurt Them.
Stranger Gracious! What rude con
ductors! Native This is the elevated road,
Stranger Well, it wouldn't hurt the
conductor: to be a little more elevated.
Axl Awful Shock,
Prunclelgh Our landlady Is laid up
with nervous prostration.
Porknnd What caused It?
Prnnolelgh X new boarder came
yesterday and Insisted on paying a
wook in advance.
Sharpe How are till those citizens
who stood up for the trolley out here?
Wbealton Why, most of them stand
up In the cars now.
Would Help Ills llualneiw.
Stubb Scribe, tho poet, says he'd
like to run for tho legislature, Wonder
Penn lie heard that members ol
tha legislature get free postage.
"Who Is that man Inside raising such
a racket?" asked the platformlte. "Il
be a stockholder?"
"No," responded tho conductor, "he's
Johnny Got the Dose of Oil.
"Johnnie, you must go to the drug
store and get me a dose of oil," urged
the boy's mother.
Johnny, who stammers frightfully,
begged that she send ' his younger
brothor, who was not so afflicted, but
this the mother refused to do. "You
must obey me," she pressed. Finally,
and after making threats ot a whip
ping on the mother's part and a great
deal ot crying from Johnny, he said
be would go it she would write tba
order upon a piece ot paper.
"Give this boy a dose of oil," the
mother wrote, and Johnny took the or
der to the druggist, who mixed tha
oil In a glass ot soda water and invited
Johnny to drink thereof.
"Well, Where's the oil?" inquired
Johnny's mother upon his return home.
"It's in me. Tbo man said; 'Here,
boy; drink this soda water,' and I did,"
explained Johnny. "When I kept hang
ing around, the man asked me what I
was waiting for, and I I said I was
waiting for the oil. Then he said,
'You've swallowed it,' and that I had
better run along home to my mothar."