Image provided by: University of Oregon Libraries; Eugene, OR
About Bohemia nugget. (Cottage Grove, Or.) 1899-1907 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 8, 1904)
fl Second Cousin 5arah $ ft nr we avthoh or fflf ? "ANHB JUDUK, SPINXTW " LITTLt! MATH HIRttY," vbl hi r.Ti. r.rc. W ("IIAl'TIIll I. It wns wintry weather down In Wor cestershire, IIiuiikIi tin' Mny of the, ywir In which our story opens wns ulrrmly two weeks ulil. Il was lute uprlnif, tlm country people unlit, iiikmiIhk that lln It nil, mill nlccl, uthl mill, anil hitler cnt wind were Mill In thv naccmlant, nml that there w-nn nut n glimpse of aituahlnu from week's end to week's end. Tliiica were tin nl nml business wan Imil, nml peo ple nlri'inly crunked nhuiit tln Iiiiiu'T to til harvest. Il was it world Ihnt shlv iriil liy the lire mill, nml wultrd fur u change. Wentlier-wlne folks look r.l up Hi the Icnilcn sky every tiny, sbnnk their lii'inlx ntiil snld "nml wet"; mul I lie wet mine down mi tlimiuli they li ml asked for It, ami washed nut the energy ft wit tliri'e foiirllm of tha humnuklnd III Wor cester. Il liml heen rnliiliiK nil ilny In the lnynl ell). Jut an It hint rnlucil tlm ilny liefore, nml llin ilny iri'Ci-illnK llint. It wn lulu lilK nt leu o'clock In tin- evening In n lit nruus nml lively n fashion mi tlnnntli It liml Just tummcliccil, nml the wind hml tiirnnl mil with rxtrn atrciiKth In mhl In the ilnrk nlnht'a illaeomftirl. Worcester liml lout henrt ami given up nml none In Ik'iI, nml nt the rniiivny atnlhiii, where, hy the tnhlca, one could aaccrtnln Hint n trnln wn l-eliliol time hy three minute, there wna n fnlul acmhlniicu of life, mure dcprfsalug thnn tlm clcnienta. Thrra wan une Hy, with Ita ilrlver nnlcei In the In terior of hi vehicle, nml Ita ilrnhhy horae couuIiIiik like n lumi. There wna il wet nhl geiitlcmnu, lilllterliiK like n beetle In lila waterproof n he wnlkeil up nml down, lllliler the illm (ns In ill i of tint atntlun. There wn n rnllwny porter's heml peering occasionally from n hnlf iipen iloor, mnl declining In a I low Ita hmly tn cuiiie furwnrd until the glnrliii: i)ch uf the engine were seen advancing tliriiiiiih the uilaerlea of the nlitlit; ami there wna a ahnrt, thin, hnik-nrd acrnp of x youth, In tnttenil rnriluroya nn.l n reil coin fort er, curleil up on n porter's truck, rml sleeping plnchlly. The train tlmt wna overilun wna lut calculated tn roiiae the oitlrlnla lulu en emy. Il enuie from it ilull, ileml hrmicli line, nml wna going on to tllouceatrr; It wna not llki-ly to laml many trim-lira or take up ninny nt Hint hour of the night. When It nrrlvcil nt Inat, It came Into the atntlun iiulM-h-aaly nml In n aplrltleaa con; (III lou, na though the atenin were low rtul the i-iiKlne-ilrlver hml Juat hurliil hla wife, mul only one tieapottct! window was lowly lowered In n third elnaa carriage, a the trnln elided to the platform. From tills window an ungloved hnnd mid nnn protruded nnd unlatched tlio diHir, mul then n atnlwart mnn of four or Are nml twenty )enra of nee, n hright (need, browiihenrdcd mnn, ateppeil out, dragged forth n ortinmitenu nnd n lint dm, stood Halite to nllow of the brisk en trnuce of the mnn In the ahlny water proof, mid looked around him In tlmt iinlf-shnrp, hnlf-vnitue manner romtiion to juillvliliinla who flud Iheinarlvea In places Hint nre new to tlicni, nr hnre chanced much aluee their Inat farewell. The Kunrd luingcd the door to, the engine gave n melmirhoty wnll, nnd tolled on with It Inirdcn: the youth In enrduroya ant up on the linrrow nnd stnreil nt the port manteau nml lint hot rather thnn nt their owner; the lly-drlvcr. who hnd roused hlmaelf, ralleil nut "Carringc. air)" nnd not receiving n rcapnuse, rut the coughing liorni) vli-ioualy under the chin with ft la TAhlp mid drove off nt full apeed. The traveler, nfter a hnaty glnncc nt the aky, cnlleil out III a aharp, clear voice to the imrter: I I expected a enrringe tor me to-night." "What aort of n carriage?" ' "A private carriage from Mr. Oil wlck'a, of Sedge Hill. Do you know .Mr. Culwlck hy alght, nr lilt coachman?" "There hna heen nothing here hut cnlia all day nnd there'a nuthliig likely to enmo tinw, 1 reckon." "Do ynit wnnt nuylNMly to enrry your luggage, sir?" naked n weak voice, and the lad who had lieen doling away time on the linrrow nhtruded In nn edgewise manner Into the converaallnn. The trnv elerd glanced at him and anld: "It la tmi henvy for you, my mnn." "No, It Isn't," aald the youth with alac rity. "I'm very strong; I hao heen waiting for n Job nil niglit. ir ir you don't mind, airfor I'm very atroug, I ni. Indeed!" Tlio cngerneaa of the request, I lie reiter ation of Ida powera, the cniitrnat whlcli Ida Words preaented to Ida white chei-ka. nnd eager, dark cyea, attracted nnew the Attention of the gentlemnn for whom no carriage had arrived, U-foro the nilwuy porter turned upon the applicant. "you get out of thla, young shaver; you've lieen hero n night too long nl rendy," crlvA the iiortcr, "nnd I've had my hi on you Iheao two houra, lt'a no uie your linnglng nlxiut na If" Tlm hoy cowered for nn Inatnnt, nml then turned quickly on the mnn. "Ami I'm very atrong, air," ho urged ngnln: "may I try? I'll curry It cnslly; ace now I" Tlio portmanteau wna rnlaed nnd flung upon hla ahnulder, tlio other hnml caught up the leather hat box, nnd the whlto faco looked round the burden inquiring ly. "Where to, air?" "To Mudillcton'a lintel." The youth atrodo into tlio wind nnd rnln. nnd then tho traveler, nfter giving a tug to Ida cup, put hla liniuN In the pocket a of Ida coat nnd followed hla guide ncroaa nnd out uf tho atatliv) ynrd. The youth turned n corner with tho lug gage, mid the proprietor found him lean ing ngnluat tho hrlck wnll of a hnuan when ho had turned nfter him. "Which wny, alrV" lio Inquired. "Which way I" echoed tho stranger; "why, atralgtit nlong there. Don't you know tho way?" "Con't any Hint I know much about hotel" I haven't been at thla kind of work a groat wlillo, air." "Mow long?" Inquired tho traveler, aomewhnt curiously. "Threo hours nnd a half." "Come, that'a peraevernnco, If wo tnko tho weather into consideration. You nro tho iail to mnlce your way In the world, In good time, Threo hours nml n half, What hnvo you been doing before this?" "Nothing particular." Tho Ind trudged on. He wavered more In his unit, nnd splashed tho legs of Ids companion with superfluous mud nnd wnini" nml tlio man walked by Ills fide, atudylntf tho rondwny nnd unobservant of tlio falling elTortH of mo wobk uoy wuum lie hnd Intrusted with n heavy task. "Who nro you. boy?" ho anld. without looking up. "What havo you coino to lila aloiMil- cltv for?" "1 don't Jaiow," wus tho reply, and a moro union reply It was man usuni, uu aoltn Ita terklneaa. "Hnvo you run away from homo? Is that It?" Tlin mnn looked at tho lad at this nuory looked with n grnvo earnestness that botokoned a keener Interest In hlin than lie hnd hitherto shown. boy," snld he. "I run nwny from home ever ao long ngo." "IIcoiimso " and the Ind, curious hi hla turn, mid etcn mopping abort fur mi liiatnut for the nnawer. "llecniiNe there was ho plnco like liouiel no place ao confoundedly iiucoinforlu ble, nnd iiiiaympathello mid hnrd-corncr-id and ao I put on my lint nml walked out. And yet, nfter nil" h pnuai-d mid iniule n clutch nt Ida portmnutenu, that ho suddenly thought wna In peril of (dip ping from the Ind'. ahnulder "Here, hold hard, yunugater; whnt'a the matter?" "It's all right, let me be; I enn carry It. I anld I could," cried tho hoy, Willi eicllemeut, mid mnrcliliig blmaelf mid luggage nwny from the touch uf the elder in 11 1 1, Thla audilen effort seemed too much for the overt med strength of tlm porter; he reeled nwny toivnrd the foot path, nml went on with weak nnd totter ing Irgs fur n few mumenls, when ho suddenly collapsed, "Von are III you nre hurl," anld the mnn. "No; let me be, I ahnll get up In n min ute. I'm n little bit giddy the street turned round nil of n sudden but 1 will go on with the luggnge presently." "Oh, no, you won't," said the mnn, dryly; "you should hnvo never nttcmpt rd It. I wns s" brute not to see the boy's going to faint." He put hla nrms round hlin and lifted him Into the doorway na he might have lifted nn iiifmit, nml looked again at the white, wnn fnce under the old Kcotch cap. "I'oor little beggar!" he muttered; "why did I load him like thla, and loaf along by hla aide. Here, what's your name? Can't you open your cyea, Jut for a moment, till I " Hern Ida anxiety took the form of ac tion, fur, atlll holding the hoy's bead oil his ahoiildcr, he kicked with energy at the door agnlnst which ho was leaning, and awoke the whole liouso. A snuffy old woman, In sn old black cap weighed down by grimy srtlllclnl flowers, was the first to wrench open the door: she had been sleeping by the (ire, slitlng up for a late husband, ami alio nppenred with a bound on the door step, mid nearly fell over the strango couple In her hsate. "Water a glnss of water, please," cried the traveler. "This child hna faint ed." "Whnt who wnter wlinao rhlld la It?" she enllcd forth. Then she renllied tho urgency of the cnae and ran back Into the room, returning very quickly with n light In one band and a glnas of water In the other, st the aame time aa beadi peered down the narrow atnlrcaao, nnd aumo one opened a window above and asked twenty queatlona In ateutorlnn tnura, without getting au auawer to one uf them. "You enn come into the house. If he nin'l going to die, mind you," anld the womnn. "Ilaa be been run over?" "No cruahrd, that's all. (live me the water. Take nIT hla cap mid then let him be. llo will get the sir that way." The Bcotch cap was twitched off, nnd the woman nnd the man who was support ing th lad lennrd forward and tlarrd with amniemeut nt two small slde-;oinb which wero In the hrnd, slid which bad been uaed for fixing and drawing up Ikv nenth tho Hcltch enp a profusion of raven hair. "Mussy on ua, It's a gall" cried the old woman. "Why, what's her gsmo?" "Ay, what's her gsmo?" snld tho man very thoughtfully, as he echoed back the slang question of his Interlocutor. The girl lieaveti a urp sign, and put thin hands tn her heed, as If she missed her cop already. "fiho's been shamming," said the old woman, who had grown strangely un charitable within tho laat few momenta. "Sho will do If we con get her home." aald tho traveler. "Are you better? how do you feel now?" ho aaked kindly. "I'm all right," woa the alow answer; "I I think so. What has Ih-cu -Jic Then she stood lip alowly, with fcer linuda pressed to her tcmplca, glared from the traveler to the woman with the ilght, gave a faint little scream of iur prlae, snatched suddenly st the cap dang ling from toe lingers or tne woman, ami with ono wild spring forward, pasaed from them Into the rain nnd wind, mid vanished nway In the darkness. The traveler made one or two strides nfter her. and then stopped. Why should I follow her, and aunoy bcr further?" he snld, as he panned. Ho remembered that he hnd given his strange porter no remuneration for ser vices thus nbroptly tcrmlnntcd, mid Blurt ed off ngnln; but It wns too Into, nnd nn other memory coming tn him Hint he wns leaving his luggnge In tho street, he went back fur It, and discovered that It wns being taken Into the houso by tho Samaritans, with a certain amount of un- duo hnste. Thank you." ho said, politely. Ho shouldered bis portmanteau, picked up his damaged hat case nnd mnrcliod on to Muddleton'n Hotel, where tlio waiter re ceived hint urbanely, but was puxxled nt the quantity of mud which he brought In along with his luggage. CHAl'TlMl II. Hitting In tho coffee room of Muddle tnu'a Hotel, his slippered feet planted un tho old-fashioned brass fender, tlio man who had como to Worcester thought out tho Incidents of tho day, and sketched fnrib n mnn of progress for tlio inor row. Warm and dry. and at his esae, tho wan faco of tho mosquerader of nn hour ago camo beforo him moro often than he had bargained for, tho girl being apart from his life, and only a stray inciueiu by tho woynldo of a career that had been eventful and varied. Itu was a man of tlio world, and had seen strango sights and met with strange ehnneea and m achancea. auu yet no nnu not been at any time more perplexed than on this night of coming back home. There was a stern story, ho was sure, of much privation marking tho llfo of that weak woman who had struggled Into a mnn s dress, and hung about Worcester railway station for man a work anil man a wagon, nml ha hml nrnerleiiccd privation him' ir mul lived It down in sonic degree, not losing sympathy with It, or growing callous to It. l'crhaps It was on Ida con science that tho girl had tolled hard for n sixpence, and ho had not rewarded her for her labor. Ha rang ,tho bell and tho waiter entered. "If anybody should ask for me "Yes. sir what name, sir?" "Itcubcn Oulwlck," ho replied; "but he alio will not know my name. Tho nnrtv who ho ned ino w th my portmnn tenu from tho station, I mean, and who left me In a hurry. Sho ho Is awaro that I am staying hero for tho night; therefore, bo good cnoiign to as nini i,.r tho lud. I mean, or whoever comes,1 In. ndded with a dash. "Into tho room to-night or to-morrow morning. Do you understand?" ho Inquired, as tho waiter listened open-mouthed to these rambling "Vis, air perfectly. Anybody who cornea, mnn or womnn, Yea, sir," ho anld with great hrlakueaa, "Htnp nue moment," anld Mr. ('ulwck, na the limn Hilled toward the door; "I shall want n trap to taku tun In Hcdg.t lllll, mid bring me back In Wnn-wler. at ten in lhu morning," nml the wnller having withdrawn, bu act himself In hla coiil-flre stuilleH once more. The luatriir I Ion m which lie had given had sulllced to turn the current of hla Idena, mid the ndveiiturn of the night pnased nwny from Ida mlliil Willi the deeper thoiighla that followed It. "And return." he snld, and laughed tn himself more thnn once nml odd Inugbs they were, of virions degrees of hilarity, from the henrty and unaffected In tho tiiiiuh with the Inner ring In It, the un dercurrent, na It were, of something which win scarcely Irony, nml which might hnve been Interpreted Into n Mirk jug sorrow or regret by any one who had known Ida blatory. Yea, Iteubeii," he anld when, nt n Inter hour, he wnn going upatnlra tn hla ooin. "tn return; poaltlvely tlio last np- penrnncn ot iieuocn uiiiwick nt nenge Hill. WIN there lie miicn or n crowii o ace the gentleman under thoan Inter- eating rlrcumatnncea?" He had Hindu up his mind to solve the riddle quickly for himself, mid nt ten In the morning he wna standing In front of Mr. Mudilleton's Hotel drawing on n pair of glovea and critically lnaiectlug the nnlmnl whlcli the proprietor had hnrncsn- ed to the dog cart. Itcubcn Culwlck look ed up mid down the street, nnd thought of hla little adventure In Wnrceater Inat night. The wnlter, not too buay, wns standing nt the door, Interested In the empornry departure of tho customer, and Itcubcn turned to him. 'Una nny one called this inornln,- for me?" "No, air." "If any one ahould call about helping tne with the portmnnteun lost night, give hlin half a crown. And aak her to call sgnln," added Itetihen Culwlck, as he sprang Into the trip and drnve off. Ulve him a half a crown and ask her to call again," aald the waiter, looking after him. "He doesn't know what he's saying. The old mnn at Hedge. HIM will never make hi in out. A regular Culwlck he la, and no tnlstako about It. (To be continued.) A DftY, MORE OR LESS. Crossing the Inleroiillonal Duto Line lit the. 1'iiclnc Ocean, l'cw Incident) of n trip to the Phil ippine Island, which ao many Ameri cans now have occasion to make, nre moro liiti-rcstlng than the crossing of the International date line, that Imag inary boundary where. In going west ward, n day Is dropped from the calen dar, and In going eastward one Is aded. A California Congrenmnan and bis wife lmppeiKil to reach It, on the outward trip, nt midnight of July 3, bo that they woke up to Hud tho next morning the nth, nnd that they had lost tho na tional holiday for the flrxt time In their Uvea. To have a September far two days In buccchbIoii on their return would, on grounds of aciitlmcnt, be nn liwufllcletit compensation. The teachers who go out on the transports to the riilllpplneH usually 'arrange clnlxirnte entertainments to Igiutllzc the date line. Ono of their number Is often dren-ieil up aa Nep tune, nnd other characters follow In n procession around the deck. The fes UvltlcH are made na fund fill aa uie resourcca and Ingenuity of the part) penult. Sailors on merchantmen an well na passengers on the fast mail atcamcra aro nccuatomcd to observe the day with some celebration. One of the old governors of Massa chusetts, on being naked to speak at n SUto normal achool which he wns vis iting, aulimlttcd thla conundrum. "Would a person who had traveled around the world 3iVj times In an east- early direction be n year older than the records In the family lllblc show ed? If not, why notV" The governor explained that such a traveler would actually have lived one day more for each trip than the calendar showed as having passed. In practice, the length of the trip n round the world Is such as to discour age most people from adding to their days by this roundabout process. Trav elers between New iork anil Chicago nre constantly having days of twenty- three or of twenty-live hours, accord lug to tho direction In whlcli they are going. I, Ike the boundaries of our standard tlme-lielts on this continent, the Inter national date line lids been so drawn as to occasion tho least possible Incon venience. It deviates from the one hundred nnd eightieth meridian enough to leave nil the Islands as well ns each continent wholly on ono side or the other. DAIRY SCHOOL ON WHEELS. Womnn Makes a Success of n Unique I!utterMukinff Knterprlte. A traveling dairy school, conducted liy n woman, was ono of the rural feat ures during last summer lu Novn Sav tin, that nncleut laml of Kvangeliue. Miss I.nurn Hose, n graduate, ot nn agricultural college. Is In charge of tho school, nnd great success, It Is reported lms nttended her efforts to teach farm' ers' wives how to Improve tho quality of their butter. Kvery fnnucr s wife who cnu possibly do so attends It when It Btops In her neighborhood, nnd nn olllccr of n local agricultural society said that Miss Hose did moro lu n two days' visit to his part of tho country than could have been effected by yenrs of Incessant writing In agricultural pa pers, Instructions from butter dealers and public lectures. Miss Hoso travels with her dairy In n big covered wagon, taking with her from town to town a couplo of churns, n separator, n butter worker, a, milk tester, tinware, suit, butter color nnd, In fnct, everything which Is necessary for tho manufacture of first-class but ter except tho cream, which Is sup plied by the agricultural societies. Sho did tho sumo work for tho province of Capo Itreton last summer, and her dai ry school Is unique In Canada, There have been other traveling dairies be fore, It Is true, but tho Instruction has herctoforo been given by means of demonstrators, which aro nover so sat isfactory, It Is said, as work actually done by tho pupils themselves. New Hloo-arowlnR Torrltory. Thero Is a marked Increase In tho growth of rlco lu Texas ami Louisiana, so marked that tho Industry Is spoken of ns being transferred from tho South Atlantic Btates to this now territory. ratlonco Is tha king of content. Mahomet. -H--H--H--M--H--H' OLD- FAVORITES 4t-H--M-H--f.H-'H- Jfntiln Ifedtiresst, Good-by, good-by In summer! For summer's nearly done; The garden smiling faintly, Cool breezes In the sun; Our thrushes now are silent, Our swallows flown away Hut Itobln's here In coat ot brown, And scarlet brenst knot gay. Itobln, Itoblu Iledbresst, O Itobln dear! Itobln sings so sweetly In the falling of the year. Ilrlght yellow, red, and orange, The lenves come down In hosts; The trees are Indian princes, Hut Bonn they'll turn to ghosts; The leathery pcara and apples Hang russet on the bough; Its autumn, autumn, autumn late 'Twill soon be winter now. Itobln, Itobln Itedhreast, O Itobln dear! And what will this poor Itobln do? Tor pinching days are near. The fireside for the cricket, The wheatstack for the mouse, When trembling night winds whistle And mosn all round the house. The rrosty ways like Iron, The branches plumed with snow Alas! In winter dead and dark, Where csn poor Itobln go? Itobln, Itobln Itedhreast, O Itobln dear! And a crumb of bread for Robin, Ills little heart to cheer William Alllngham. Abld. wllli Ma. Abide with met Kaat falls the eventide; The darkness deepens; Lord, with me abide! When other helpers fall and comfort flte, Help of the helpless, O abldt with nil Swift to Its dote ebbs out life's little day; Earth's Joys grow dim; Its glories pass away; Change and decay In all around I see; 0 thou, who changest not, abide with nisi 1 need thy presence every passing hour What bnt thy grace can foil the Temp ter's power? Who like thyself my guide and stay can be? Through cloud and aonshbe, O abide with me! I fear no foe with thee at band to bless; Ills lute nn weight and tears no blttar ness. Where Is death's sting, where, grave, thy victory? I triumph still, If thou abide with ma. Hold thou thy crosa before my closing eyes: Shine through the gloom and point me to the skies! Heaven's morning breaks, and earth's vain shadows flee; In life and death, O Lord, abide with me! Henry Krnncls I.yte. GAUDY BIRDS OF ARGENTINA. They Abiund Titer In Oreat !tsmbin anil Moat llrlllUnt Varieties. The birds of Argentina abound In great uumbcrsand variety, and they are among Its greatest and most attrac tive treasure. One of the peculiarities of these birds Is their gaudy, varie gated and brilliant plumage. In color they are beautiful and In songs wonderful. Let ue go to the woods bordering the river and see how tunny we can And. Yonder bird Is called the "arm of Are," on account of hla bright color. He appears to take great pride In showing himself. There Is the cardinal with the scarlet crest, whlto breast nnd dove-colored back, nlso the yellow cardinal with yellow body nnd black crest. It la so named because Its crest resembles the car dinal's lint. That beautiful pink line tlmt you see In the daintiest sky Is a tlock of pink flamingoes. They are nenrlng us. Now they alight upon the sand on the margin of the river, now pretty they arc! Listen to that exquisite song. That Is the "bugero," a large black bird with white beak. From tho grassy marsh comes the discordant cry of the heron, nnd the green parrots are chattering In the trees over our heads. They think their scolding will frighten us nwny. See that lovely golden wren crociilng up the tree, hunting spldcn. Ho does not scorn a particle afraid of us. Hear that awcet-volced robin. They are much finer singers than the robins of our country. Here we find a dove's carelessly made nest, with two white eggs lying on the ground. This dove Is very small, not much larger than a canary. That modest little gray bird Is the bulbul or nightingale, which keeps his sweet song for the night. There Is n tree that appears to bo covered with balls of cotton, but In stead of cotton It Is a flock of magpies suunlng themselves. They drop their wings nnd fluff out the feathers of the back until they resemble balls of cot ton. They nre singular birds. One will catch a frog and run around before the others, apparently to tantalize them. When they bathe they Jump Into a pool of wnler, then out and roll In the dust, then Into the water again. They Impose on each other by several hens laying eggs lu tho snmo nest. PHOTOGRAPHS OF FREAKS. Specialty Which I'roTea Lucrative to the l'liotocranhor. Not far from Cooper Union Is a pho tograph gallery devoted almost entire ly to freaks. Sometimes n few pugi lists get In there, but as a general thing they pntronlzo a shop kept by au ex-puglllst a llttlo farther down tho Btreet. In tho freaks' shop you will find nt almost any hour of tho day giants nnd dwnrfs, skeletons nnd fat men, hu mnn pln-cushlons and sword swallow era In fact unythlug that Is Included In tho museum nnd circus line, on ex hibition from 10 cents to $1, Nothing In tho way of a legitimate freak es capes, llut onca let nn outsider that Is, a man whom the patrons of the show do not consider a genuine freak get In there, nnd ho gets no picture. Tho photographer began with pick ing up cbauco freaks In the circus about ten years ago. Ho personally Bought out freaks and took commis sion ou tho number of photographs sold In tho shows, Tho freak photo grapher do n n't do that now. He knows that ho has a facility for pho-1 tographtng freaks better than anybody else, Just ns others excel In sporting scenes and some In handsomely gown ed women. Kvery man, of any good. In every profession has his strong point; and tlmt man's Is In posing freaks to tho best ndvantnge. Ills nnmo Is on pictures sold In freak shows In New York or anywhere i elan this aide of Han I'ranclsco. His bank account would compare favor ably with the bank accounts of many fashionable photogrn pliers New York Times. The limit of a soldier's credit at the canteen wns twenty per cent of his pay. I Americans are making an effort to establish a steel plant at Flushing, I Holland. The proportion of policemen to pop i ulatlon Is one to 807 In Paris, one to 408 In London and one to 458 In Netri York. Amerlenn tnnrfata anntislW mend abroad an average of $7G,000,000, and foreign tourists leave about 120,000,000 here. The editor of a weekly newspaper In Australia offera himself as a prize to the woman who WTltes the beat essay i on the duties of a wife. Gooso quill pens and drying pow-1 ders arc still used In English law courts and the House of tarda and In til j French Chamber of Deputies. John Stuart Mill was studying Greek at three, bad practically mastered tboi language at seven, and a year later waa acting as schoolmaster to hit younger brothers and sisters. John Ituskln actually produced n manuscript work In three volumes before be reach ed his seventh birthday. In Haroldswlck, In the Snetlands, a whalebone viking drinking bom In good condition wns found recently In a grave that contained human bones, together with those of horses and dogs. The grave Is probably that of a sea king, burled with his horse nnd a dog In the time of Harold Harfagr, one thousand years ago. A pre-hlstorlc town near Adlcban a liar, India, proves to have been of large size, and promises to yield an extraordinary variety of Interesting ob jects. More than one hundred acres have been reserved for explorations, and the remains nre found considera bly beyond that area. About 1,000 cu rious objects of bronze, Iron and pot tery havo been unearthed already, to gether with aeven ova!-haped orna ments of pure gold. TOO MANY EVAS AND TOP8IES. Tb Oreat Itemenyt's Hzperlence ml an Unci Tom'a Cabin l'la j. It waa while playing a concert en gagement In the lumber town ot Man istee, Michigan, that Itemenyl first saw a performance of "Uncle Tom's Cabin." At the hotel he met tho enterprising manager of this multiple Topsy-Marks-Eva aggregation. The manager treated him with the most genial pro fessional courtesy. He placed at his uso one of the two tiny, lace-curtalned boxes, which were the awe and pride of the theater's patrons. The parade of blood hounds, the donkeys, and perhaps the brass baud that mangled Sousa'a music with audi conscienceless exhilaration, excited the curiosity of Remenyl. He consulted with other members of his company, and It was at last decided to begin the concert sharply on time, cut all en cores and to have carriages In wait ing to convey them hurriedly to the theater at the end of the concert pro gram. The manager of the theater promised "to hold the curtain" for so distinguish ed a guest. And thus It was that the great Hungarian violinist was enabled to witness the great American classic. The concert audience was inclined to resent the rush until It became ac quainted with the reason, and then was generous In forgiving. Tho Uncle Tom actors worked right on their mettle. They did their best "to hold the mirror up" to their Idea of nature, but the double reflection rather mystified Remenyl. It took him some time to fathom the philosophy of twin Evas, Markses and Topsys. The tears ran down hla cheeks when Era died. until he suddenly remembered the other Eva who had appeared earlier In songs and dances. With a puzzled air be turned to one of his companions and asked how they were to manage this dual personality under such trying cir cumstances. The friend replied that the other Eva had probably washed up and gone back to the hotel nnd would take her tum at the "gates ajar" the following night. Later when Itemenyl met the flushed and happy manager in the hotel olHce, he said thoughtfully; "Americans are very enterprising. They believe In having all they can of a good thing," Hints riant Trees. An old time Arizona woodchopper, according to the Indianapolis News, says the birds have planted thousands of the trees now growing all over Arizona. These birds have a habit of burying small sedds In the grounds with their beaks, and they frequently bury large numbers of the small pine nuts In the ground, many of which sprout nnd grow. Ho was walking through the pines with nn eastern gen tleman a short time ngo when one stuck Its bill Into the ground and quickly flew away. 'When told what had happened the eastern man wns skeptical, but tho two went to the spot nnd with a knife blade dug out a sound pine nut from a depth of about nn Inch and a half. Thus It will be seen that nature has her own plan for forest perpetuation. Largo St Louis llotol. The Bonaparte Hotel nt St, Louis will bo the largest hotel In the United States, and Its opening will bo simul taneous with that of the big exposi tion. , It sometimes happens that the man who has a wife and an automobile has two unmanageable things on his hands at once. A rami who Is looking for troubl? can usually find It without trouble. SUPPOSE AVE SMILE. HUMORCUS PARAGRAPHS FROM THE COMIO PAPERS. rieasinl Incident Occurring: lb World Over- Haylngathat Are Cheer ful to (lid or Young-Funny Hlo Horn that Uverytiody Will Jlnjoy. Mother I don't hear the canary singing this morning, Oaten. Is ho In a good humor? Osten No, mamma, I think he's In a prt. Mother You do? Osten Yes, the Persian cat swal lowed him. Then He Kan. "George, you don't love me any more." "Oh, yes, I do." "Then, George, yon have been de ceiving me. Last night you snld it was Impossible to love me any moro than you did." "Well, er confound It. then I don't" "Oh, George, how can you! Itoo hool" Oettlnic On, Well, Tommy, how nre you getting on nt school?" "First-rate. I nln't doing so well as some of the other boys, though. I can stand on my head, but I have to put my'fcet against the wnll.' I want to do It without tho wall at all." runch. Lraaer KrlU "Ma," walled the small boy, "I've lost two teeth, a lock of hair, scraped my shins and tore all my clothes up." "What have you been doing, sir?" demanded the angry womnn. "Tell the truth." "F-flghtlng." "Ob, well. It's not so bad. I thought you'd been playing football." A Lone-Kelt Wnt. Casey 01 see there'a bin another railroad wreck due to an open awttch. Cassidy Ay, 'tis a pity some wan don't lnvlnt a switch thot'll stay shut whin Its open. Philadelphia Press. Store Proof. Ernie Some learned professor tells us that sunspots cause people to lose their tempers. Ida I don't doubt IL I saw several girls the other day who were mad as hornets because they had freckles. On Drawback. "Tis love that makes the world go round," whispered the pretty girl as she nestled closer. "Yes," sighed the young man as he glanced at the time, "and It seems to make the hands of the clock go around. too." Platform Kepartse. "Did you ever see a chimney sweep?" asked the solemn man with the black cane. "No," responded the conductor of the car, "but I've heard a college yeU." A Clear Conaclence. "You aro accused of running the end of an umbrella In this man's eye. Are you guilty or not guilty?" "Not guilty, your honor; the umbrella doesn't belong to me." No LanKhlua; Matter. "I thought you would surely laugh at that little Joke," said the humorist, as the editor solemnly glanced at the manuscript. "Not me," rejoined the man behind tho blue pencil, "I never laugh at an old friend." . Cramy Enough. I "Yes, If I do say It," said the con ceited fellow, "she's crazy for me." i "How unnecessary," remarked Miss Bharpe, "you don't require any assist ance In that direction." Philadelphia Pross. I Two of a Kind. I "A man needn't be afraid of light ning so long as be can see It approach ing," said the would-be humorist. "Same way with a bullet," observed the solemn party with a far-off look In hla off optic. Light Iudsad, "And after the elopement," he whls. pered, tenderly, "we will go to light housekeeping." "Lighthouse keeplngl" she echoed. Innocently. "Then all we'll need will be a big lauip.' Obtnsa Ilrlll'-iuCT. Julia la Clementine really so Intel lectual? Aurella Oh, yea; she never can tell you a thing any other woman haa on. One Definition. "Papa, what Is alimony?" "My boy, It li the price let on a man'i liberty." ' Itevtratd. "What Is tho dlffcrenco between ms nnd n prisoner nn n pirate ship?" asked tho man who was placing boards along tho slippery stono walk. "(llvo It up," responded tha other suburbanite. "Well, I hnvo to plank tho walk and he'd hnvo to walk the plnnk." Katlty ICiptalntd. Teacher Where Is your brother this morning, Tommy? Tommy lie fell In n barrel of elder and hurt himself. Teacher How could cider hurt him? Tommy It wns hard cider, ma'am. What the Hntnsly llachslnr Bays. ".Mamma," asked small Floramay, "what la 'slnglo blessedness?'" "Single blessedness, my dear," re plied tho knowing mother, la a "bou quet that n bachelor throws at him self when h wants to marry and can't." A Ilrlalit Thought. "Yes, ma'am," said tho obsequious grocery clerk to Mrs. IlrldVy, who was ordering her first bill of supplies, "I've put down parlor matches; what nextr "Well er I supposo I ought to havo somo kitchen matches, too, oughtn't I?" Nightly Occurrence. Teacher What Is this word? Tommy I don't know, ma'am. Teacher What docs a gentleman re move when he enters a house? Tommy Well, It ma Is awake pa removes his shoes. Bcsthlnir. Angry Patron (to waiter) Ilerel Take away this lobster. Why, It's as old aa I am. Very Appropriate, 'Did you hear about Lover? Went fast to sleep while speeding In his au tomobile." "Yes, and he slept like a top." "How was that?" , "Spinning." Dinner Kepartse "Ah, this spring chicken Is a tooth some morsel," said the sweet singer. 'Excuse me," said tho comedian boarder, "but It cannot be toothsome." Why not?" "Because chickens have no teeth." Aa Unreasonable Request Wife (timidly) Can you let me have a dollar, dear? Husband (testily) No, I can't Haven't I Just spent $2,300 on an auto mobile? There's Somtthlns; In th Wind. Bhslllntr the Parqnst. "How was that play, The Fall ot Santiago?" "Great! The shells fell among the audience." "You don't say I" "Yes, the gallery boys were eatltf peanuts." The Abiont-Mlnded naar. She My sister Is coming out next week. He How long was she sent up for? Cornell Widow. Perhaps lie Was. "Who was that young man hugging you last night?" asked the girl In the new fall hat "Oh, he Is a book agent," responded her chum. "Looked to me more like a press agent" Dead Kaay, "How," asked the very young; man, can one tell when love Is only Pla tonic?" "When It develops Into the other kind," replied the charming widow, "one can look back and see the differ ence." It All Depends. "How gratifying it must be," said the sentimental youth, who bad tha matrimonial fever, "to be the owner of one's own little home." "Yes, It's gratifying enough, I sup pose," rejoined the man who had Just failed In business, "but It's a whole lot safer to havo ono's wife own It" Old aa the Scissors. "Telegraphing without wires la no new thing," remarked the gray-haired passenger. "It Isn't, eh?" queried the drummer. "Not by a Jugful," continued the old mau. "Why, sir, when I published a newspaper forty years ngo I got near ly all my telegraph new that way." Chicago News. Didn't Escape. Von Blumer "I had the most singu lar thing happen to me the other day. Did you ever go Into a man a place to pay a bill you owed him, and And him out?" Planklngton (emphatically) "Ne, sir. Did that happen to you?" "It did. I bad a notion, or rather 1 nerved myself up to It, to settle up some bills that I owed. So on my way form the office I dropped In to see my fish-monger." "And he was out?" "Correct. Then I tried my grocer." "He was out?" "night. Plenty ot shopmen, but no proprietor. Of course.I left word that I called In to eettle up, but wanted to see the proprietor first. Dispute about bills. Do you twig?" "Ob, yes, that strengthens your credit." "Exactly, Then I called to ae my butcher, and I'll be banged If he wasn't out also!" "By Jovel but you were, In lackl" "No I wasn't." "Why not?" "When I got home I found them all waiting for me." "II that's U, we aro In tlio same boat, Instruction.