Image provided by: University of Oregon Libraries; Eugene, OR
About Bohemia nugget. (Cottage Grove, Or.) 1899-1907 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 8, 1904)
fl Second Cousin 5arah $
ft nr we avthoh or fflf
? "ANHB JUDUK, SPINXTW " LITTLt! MATH HIRttY," vbl
hi r.Ti. r.rc. W
It wns wintry weather down In Wor
cestershire, IIiuiikIi tin' Mny of the, ywir
In which our story opens wns ulrrmly two
weeks ulil. Il was lute uprlnif, tlm
country people unlit, iiikmiIhk that lln
It nil, mill nlccl, uthl mill, anil hitler cnt
wind were Mill In thv naccmlant, nml
that there w-nn nut n glimpse of aituahlnu
from week's end to week's end. Tliiica
were tin nl nml business wan Imil, nml peo
ple nlri'inly crunked nhuiit tln Iiiiiu'T
to til harvest. Il was it world Ihnt shlv
iriil liy the lire mill, nml wultrd fur u
change. Wentlier-wlne folks look r.l up
Hi the Icnilcn sky every tiny, sbnnk their
lii'inlx ntiil snld "nml wet"; mul I lie wet
mine down mi tlimiuli they li ml asked for
It, ami washed nut the energy ft wit
tliri'e foiirllm of tha humnuklnd III Wor
cester. Il liml heen rnliiliiK nil ilny In the lnynl
ell). Jut an It hint rnlucil tlm ilny liefore,
nml llin ilny iri'Ci-illnK llint. It wn lulu
lilK nt leu o'clock In tin- evening In n lit
nruus nml lively n fashion mi tlnnntli It
liml Just tummcliccil, nml the wind hml
tiirnnl mil with rxtrn atrciiKth In mhl In
the ilnrk nlnht'a illaeomftirl. Worcester
liml lout henrt ami given up nml none In
Ik'iI, nml nt the rniiivny atnlhiii, where,
hy the tnhlca, one could aaccrtnln Hint n
trnln wn l-eliliol time hy three minute,
there wna n fnlul acmhlniicu of life, mure
dcprfsalug thnn tlm clcnienta. Thrra wan
une Hy, with Ita ilrlver nnlcei In the In
terior of hi vehicle, nml Ita ilrnhhy horae
couuIiIiik like n lumi. There wna il wet
nhl geiitlcmnu, lilllterliiK like n beetle In
lila waterproof n he wnlkeil up nml
down, lllliler the illm (ns In ill i of tint
atntlun. There wn n rnllwny porter's
heml peering occasionally from n hnlf
iipen iloor, mnl declining In a I low Ita hmly
tn cuiiie furwnrd until the glnrliii: i)ch
uf the engine were seen advancing
tliriiiiiih the uilaerlea of the nlitlit; ami
there wna a ahnrt, thin, hnik-nrd acrnp of
x youth, In tnttenil rnriluroya nn.l n reil
coin fort er, curleil up on n porter's truck,
rml sleeping plnchlly.
The train tlmt wna overilun wna lut
calculated tn roiiae the oitlrlnla lulu en
emy. Il enuie from it ilull, ileml hrmicli
line, nml wna going on to tllouceatrr; It
wna not llki-ly to laml many trim-lira or
take up ninny nt Hint hour of the night.
When It nrrlvcil nt Inat, It came Into the
atntlun iiulM-h-aaly nml In n aplrltleaa con;
(III lou, na though the atenin were low rtul
the i-iiKlne-ilrlver hml Juat hurliil hla
wife, mul only one tieapottct! window was
lowly lowered In n third elnaa carriage,
a the trnln elided to the platform.
From tills window an ungloved hnnd
mid nnn protruded nnd unlatched tlio
diHir, mul then n atnlwart mnn of four or
Are nml twenty )enra of nee, n hright
(need, browiihenrdcd mnn, ateppeil out,
dragged forth n ortinmitenu nnd n lint
dm, stood Halite to nllow of the brisk en
trnuce of the mnn In the ahlny water
proof, mid looked around him In tlmt
iinlf-shnrp, hnlf-vnitue manner romtiion
to juillvliliinla who flud Iheinarlvea In
places Hint nre new to tlicni, nr hnre
chanced much aluee their Inat farewell.
The Kunrd luingcd the door to, the engine
gave n melmirhoty wnll, nnd tolled on
with It Inirdcn: the youth In enrduroya ant
up on the linrrow nnd stnreil nt the port
manteau nml lint hot rather thnn nt their
owner; the lly-drlvcr. who hnd roused
hlmaelf, ralleil nut "Carringc. air)" nnd
not receiving n rcapnuse, rut the coughing
liorni) vli-ioualy under the chin with ft la
TAhlp mid drove off nt full apeed.
The traveler, nfter a hnaty glnncc nt
the aky, cnlleil out III a aharp, clear voice
to the imrter: I
I expected a enrringe tor me to-night."
"What aort of n carriage?"
' "A private carriage from Mr. Oil
wlck'a, of Sedge Hill. Do you know .Mr.
Culwlck hy alght, nr lilt coachman?"
"There hna heen nothing here hut cnlia
all day nnd there'a nuthliig likely to
enmo tinw, 1 reckon."
"Do ynit wnnt nuylNMly to enrry your
luggage, sir?" naked n weak voice, and
the lad who had lieen doling away time
on the linrrow nhtruded In nn edgewise
manner Into the converaallnn. The trnv
elerd glanced at him and anld:
"It la tmi henvy for you, my mnn."
"No, It Isn't," aald the youth with alac
rity. "I'm very strong; I hao heen
waiting for n Job nil niglit. ir ir you
don't mind, airfor I'm very atroug, I
Tlio cngerneaa of the request, I lie reiter
ation of Ida powera, the cniitrnat whlcli
Ida Words preaented to Ida white chei-ka.
nnd eager, dark cyea, attracted nnew the
Attention of the gentlemnn for whom no
carriage had arrived, U-foro the nilwuy
porter turned upon the applicant.
"you get out of thla, young shaver;
you've lieen hero n night too long nl
rendy," crlvA the iiortcr, "nnd I've had
my hi on you Iheao two houra, lt'a no
uie your linnglng nlxiut na If"
Tlm hoy cowered for nn Inatnnt, nml
then turned quickly on the mnn.
"Ami I'm very atrong, air," ho urged
ngnln: "may I try? I'll curry It cnslly;
ace now I"
Tlio portmanteau wna rnlaed nnd flung
upon hla ahnulder, tlio other hnml caught
up the leather hat box, nnd the whlto
faco looked round the burden inquiring
ly. "Where to, air?"
"To Mudillcton'a lintel."
The youth atrodo into tlio wind nnd
rnln. nnd then tho traveler, nfter giving
a tug to Ida cup, put hla liniuN In the
pocket a of Ida coat nnd followed hla
guide ncroaa nnd out uf tho atatliv) ynrd.
The youth turned n corner with tho lug
gage, mid the proprietor found him lean
ing ngnluat tho hrlck wnll of a hnuan
when ho had turned nfter him.
"Which wny, alrV" lio Inquired.
"Which way I" echoed tho stranger;
"why, atralgtit nlong there. Don't you
know tho way?"
"Con't any Hint I know much about
hotel" I haven't been at thla kind of
work a groat wlillo, air."
"Mow long?" Inquired tho traveler,
"Threo hours nnd a half."
"Come, that'a peraevernnco, If wo tnko
tho weather into consideration. You nro
tho iail to mnlce your way In the world,
In good time, Threo hours nml n half,
What hnvo you been doing before this?"
Tho Ind trudged on. He wavered more
In his unit, nnd splashed tho legs of Ids
companion with superfluous mud nnd
wnini" nml tlio man walked by Ills fide,
atudylntf tho rondwny nnd unobservant of
tlio falling elTortH of mo wobk uoy wuum
lie hnd Intrusted with n heavy task.
"Who nro you. boy?" ho anld. without
looking up. "What havo you coino to
lila aloiMil- cltv for?"
"1 don't Jaiow," wus tho reply, and a
moro union reply It was man usuni, uu
aoltn Ita terklneaa.
"Hnvo you run away from homo? Is
Tlin mnn looked at tho lad at this nuory
looked with n grnvo earnestness that
botokoned a keener Interest In hlin than
lie hnd hitherto shown.
boy," snld he. "I run nwny from home
ever ao long ngo."
"IIcoiimso " and the Ind, curious hi
hla turn, mid etcn mopping abort fur mi
liiatnut for the nnawer.
"llecniiNe there was ho plnco like liouiel
no place ao confoundedly iiucoinforlu
ble, nnd iiiiaympathello mid hnrd-corncr-id
and ao I put on my lint nml walked
out. And yet, nfter nil" h pnuai-d mid
iniule n clutch nt Ida portmnutenu, that
ho suddenly thought wna In peril of (dip
ping from the Ind'. ahnulder "Here, hold
hard, yunugater; whnt'a the matter?"
"It's all right, let me be; I enn carry
It. I anld I could," cried tho hoy, Willi
eicllemeut, mid mnrcliliig blmaelf mid
luggage nwny from the touch uf the elder
in 11 1 1, Thla audilen effort seemed too
much for the overt med strength of tlm
porter; he reeled nwny toivnrd the foot
path, nml went on with weak nnd totter
ing Irgs fur n few mumenls, when ho
"Von are III you nre hurl," anld the
"No; let me be, I ahnll get up In n min
ute. I'm n little bit giddy the street
turned round nil of n sudden but 1 will
go on with the luggnge presently."
"Oh, no, you won't," said the mnn,
dryly; "you should hnvo never nttcmpt
rd It. I wns s" brute not to see the boy's
going to faint."
He put hla nrms round hlin and lifted
him Into the doorway na he might have
lifted nn iiifmit, nml looked again at the
white, wnn fnce under the old Kcotch cap.
"I'oor little beggar!" he muttered;
"why did I load him like thla, and loaf
along by hla aide. Here, what's your
name? Can't you open your cyea, Jut
for a moment, till I "
Hern Ida anxiety took the form of ac
tion, fur, atlll holding the hoy's bead oil
his ahoiildcr, he kicked with energy at
the door agnlnst which ho was leaning,
and awoke the whole liouso.
A snuffy old woman, In sn old black
cap weighed down by grimy srtlllclnl
flowers, was the first to wrench open
the door: she had been sleeping by the
(ire, slitlng up for a late husband, ami
alio nppenred with a bound on the door
step, mid nearly fell over the strango
couple In her hsate.
"Water a glnss of water, please,"
cried the traveler. "This child hna faint
ed." "Whnt who wnter wlinao rhlld la
It?" she enllcd forth. Then she renllied
tho urgency of the cnae and ran back
Into the room, returning very quickly
with n light In one band and a glnas of
water In the other, st the aame time aa
beadi peered down the narrow atnlrcaao,
nnd aumo one opened a window above
and asked twenty queatlona In ateutorlnn
tnura, without getting au auawer to one
"You enn come into the house. If he
nin'l going to die, mind you," anld the
womnn. "Ilaa be been run over?"
"No cruahrd, that's all. (live me the
water. Take nIT hla cap mid then let him
be. llo will get the sir that way."
The Bcotch cap was twitched off, nnd
the woman nnd the man who was support
ing th lad lennrd forward and tlarrd
with amniemeut nt two small slde-;oinb
which wero In the hrnd, slid which bad
been uaed for fixing and drawing up Ikv
nenth tho Hcltch enp a profusion of raven
"Mussy on ua, It's a gall" cried the
old woman. "Why, what's her gsmo?"
"Ay, what's her gsmo?" snld tho man
very thoughtfully, as he echoed back the
slang question of his Interlocutor.
The girl lieaveti a urp sign, and put
thin hands tn her heed, as If she missed
her cop already.
"fiho's been shamming," said the old
woman, who had grown strangely un
charitable within tho laat few momenta.
"Sho will do If we con get her home."
aald tho traveler. "Are you better?
how do you feel now?" ho aaked kindly.
"I'm all right," woa the alow answer;
"I I think so. What has Ih-cu -Jic
Then she stood lip alowly, with fcer
linuda pressed to her tcmplca, glared
from the traveler to the woman with the
ilght, gave a faint little scream of iur
prlae, snatched suddenly st the cap dang
ling from toe lingers or tne woman, ami
with ono wild spring forward, pasaed
from them Into the rain nnd wind, mid
vanished nway In the darkness.
The traveler made one or two strides
nfter her. and then stopped.
Why should I follow her, and aunoy
bcr further?" he snld, as he panned.
Ho remembered that he hnd given his
strange porter no remuneration for ser
vices thus nbroptly tcrmlnntcd, mid Blurt
ed off ngnln; but It wns too Into, nnd nn
other memory coming tn him Hint he
wns leaving his luggnge In tho street, he
went back fur It, and discovered that It
wns being taken Into the houso by tho
Samaritans, with a certain amount of un-
Thank you." ho said, politely. Ho
shouldered bis portmanteau, picked up
his damaged hat case nnd mnrcliod on to
Muddleton'n Hotel, where tlio waiter re
ceived hint urbanely, but was puxxled nt
the quantity of mud which he brought In
along with his luggage.
Hitting In tho coffee room of Muddle
tnu'a Hotel, his slippered feet planted un
tho old-fashioned brass fender, tlio man
who had como to Worcester thought out
tho Incidents of tho day, and sketched
fnrib n mnn of progress for tlio inor
row. Warm and dry. and at his esae, tho
wan faco of tho mosquerader of nn hour
ago camo beforo him moro often than he
had bargained for, tho girl being apart
from his life, and only a stray inciueiu
by tho woynldo of a career that had been
eventful and varied.
Itu was a man of tlio world, and had
seen strango sights and met with strange
ehnneea and m achancea. auu yet no nnu
not been at any time more perplexed than
on this night of coming back home. There
was a stern story, ho was sure, of much
privation marking tho llfo of that weak
woman who had struggled Into a mnn s
dress, and hung about Worcester railway
station for man a work anil man a wagon,
nml ha hml nrnerleiiccd privation him'
ir mul lived It down in sonic degree,
not losing sympathy with It, or growing
callous to It. l'crhaps It was on Ida con
science that tho girl had tolled hard for
n sixpence, and ho had not rewarded her
for her labor. Ha rang ,tho bell and tho
"If anybody should ask for me
"Yes. sir what name, sir?"
"Itcubcn Oulwlck," ho replied; "but
he alio will not know my name. Tho
nnrtv who ho ned ino w th my portmnn
tenu from tho station, I mean, and who
left me In a hurry. Sho ho Is awaro
that I am staying hero for tho night;
therefore, bo good cnoiign to as nini
i,.r tho lud. I mean, or whoever comes,1
In. ndded with a dash. "Into tho room
to-night or to-morrow morning. Do you
understand?" ho Inquired, as tho waiter
listened open-mouthed to these rambling
"Vis, air perfectly. Anybody who
cornea, mnn or womnn, Yea, sir," ho
anld with great hrlakueaa,
"Htnp nue moment," anld Mr. ('ulwck,
na the limn Hilled toward the door; "I
shall want n trap to taku tun In Hcdg.t
lllll, mid bring me back In Wnn-wler.
at ten in lhu morning," nml the wnller
having withdrawn, bu act himself In hla
coiil-flre stuilleH once more. The luatriir
I Ion m which lie had given had sulllced
to turn the current of hla Idena, mid the
ndveiiturn of the night pnased nwny from
Ida mlliil Willi the deeper thoiighla that
"And return." he snld, and laughed tn
himself more thnn once nml odd Inugbs
they were, of virions degrees of hilarity,
from the henrty and unaffected In tho
tiiiiuh with the Inner ring In It, the un
dercurrent, na It were, of something
which win scarcely Irony, nml which
might hnve been Interpreted Into n Mirk
jug sorrow or regret by any one who had
known Ida blatory.
Yea, Iteubeii," he anld when, nt n
Inter hour, he wnn going upatnlra tn hla
ooin. "tn return; poaltlvely tlio last np-
penrnncn ot iieuocn uiiiwick nt nenge
Hill. WIN there lie miicn or n crowii
o ace the gentleman under thoan Inter-
He had Hindu up his mind to solve the
riddle quickly for himself, mid nt ten In
the morning he wna standing In front of
Mr. Mudilleton's Hotel drawing on n pair
of glovea and critically lnaiectlug the
nnlmnl whlcli the proprietor had hnrncsn-
ed to the dog cart. Itcubcn Culwlck look
ed up mid down the street, nnd thought
of hla little adventure In Wnrceater Inat
night. The wnlter, not too buay, wns
standing nt the door, Interested In the
empornry departure of tho customer,
and Itcubcn turned to him.
'Una nny one called this inornln,- for
"If any one ahould call about helping
tne with the portmnnteun lost night, give
hlin half a crown. And aak her to
call sgnln," added Itetihen Culwlck, as he
sprang Into the trip and drnve off.
Ulve him a half a crown and ask her
to call again," aald the waiter, looking
after him. "He doesn't know what he's
saying. The old mnn at Hedge. HIM will
never make hi in out. A regular Culwlck
he la, and no tnlstako about It.
(To be continued.)
A DftY, MORE OR LESS.
Crossing the Inleroiillonal Duto Line
lit the. 1'iiclnc Ocean,
l'cw Incident) of n trip to the Phil
ippine Island, which ao many Ameri
cans now have occasion to make, nre
moro liiti-rcstlng than the crossing of
the International date line, that Imag
inary boundary where. In going west
ward, n day Is dropped from the calen
dar, and In going eastward one Is aded.
A California Congrenmnan and bis wife
lmppeiKil to reach It, on the outward
trip, nt midnight of July 3, bo that they
woke up to Hud tho next morning the
nth, nnd that they had lost tho na
tional holiday for the flrxt time In
their Uvea. To have a September
far two days In buccchbIoii on their
return would, on grounds of aciitlmcnt,
be nn liwufllcletit compensation.
The teachers who go out on the
transports to the riilllpplneH usually
'arrange clnlxirnte entertainments to
Igiutllzc the date line. Ono of their
number Is often dren-ieil up aa Nep
tune, nnd other characters follow In n
procession around the deck. The fes
UvltlcH are made na fund fill aa uie
resourcca and Ingenuity of the part)
penult. Sailors on merchantmen an
well na passengers on the fast mail
atcamcra aro nccuatomcd to observe
the day with some celebration.
One of the old governors of Massa
chusetts, on being naked to speak at n
SUto normal achool which he wns vis
iting, aulimlttcd thla conundrum.
"Would a person who had traveled
around the world 3iVj times In an east-
early direction be n year older than
the records In the family lllblc show
ed? If not, why notV" The governor
explained that such a traveler would
actually have lived one day more for
each trip than the calendar showed as
In practice, the length of the trip
n round the world Is such as to discour
age most people from adding to their
days by this roundabout process. Trav
elers between New iork anil Chicago
nre constantly having days of twenty-
three or of twenty-live hours, accord
lug to tho direction In whlcli they are
I, Ike the boundaries of our standard
tlme-lielts on this continent, the Inter
national date line lids been so drawn
as to occasion tho least possible Incon
venience. It deviates from the one
hundred nnd eightieth meridian enough
to leave nil the Islands as well ns each
continent wholly on ono side or the
DAIRY SCHOOL ON WHEELS.
Womnn Makes a Success of n Unique
A traveling dairy school, conducted
liy n woman, was ono of the rural feat
ures during last summer lu Novn Sav
tin, that nncleut laml of Kvangeliue.
Miss I.nurn Hose, n graduate, ot nn
agricultural college. Is In charge of tho
school, nnd great success, It Is reported
lms nttended her efforts to teach farm'
ers' wives how to Improve tho quality
of their butter. Kvery fnnucr s wife
who cnu possibly do so attends It when
It Btops In her neighborhood, nnd nn
olllccr of n local agricultural society
said that Miss Hose did moro lu n two
days' visit to his part of tho country
than could have been effected by yenrs
of Incessant writing In agricultural pa
pers, Instructions from butter dealers
and public lectures.
Miss Hoso travels with her dairy In
n big covered wagon, taking with her
from town to town a couplo of churns,
n separator, n butter worker, a, milk
tester, tinware, suit, butter color nnd,
In fnct, everything which Is necessary
for tho manufacture of first-class but
ter except tho cream, which Is sup
plied by the agricultural societies. Sho
did tho sumo work for tho province of
Capo Itreton last summer, and her dai
ry school Is unique In Canada, There
have been other traveling dairies be
fore, It Is true, but tho Instruction has
herctoforo been given by means of
demonstrators, which aro nover so sat
isfactory, It Is said, as work actually
done by tho pupils themselves.
New Hloo-arowlnR Torrltory.
Thero Is a marked Increase In tho
growth of rlco lu Texas ami Louisiana,
so marked that tho Industry Is spoken
of ns being transferred from tho South
Atlantic Btates to this now territory.
ratlonco Is tha king of content. Mahomet.
Good-by, good-by In summer!
For summer's nearly done;
The garden smiling faintly,
Cool breezes In the sun;
Our thrushes now are silent,
Our swallows flown away
Hut Itobln's here In coat ot brown,
And scarlet brenst knot gay.
Itobln, Itoblu Iledbresst,
O Itobln dear!
Itobln sings so sweetly
In the falling of the year.
Ilrlght yellow, red, and orange,
The lenves come down In hosts;
The trees are Indian princes,
Hut Bonn they'll turn to ghosts;
The leathery pcara and apples
Hang russet on the bough;
Its autumn, autumn, autumn late
'Twill soon be winter now.
Itobln, Itobln Itedhreast,
O Itobln dear!
And what will this poor Itobln do?
Tor pinching days are near.
The fireside for the cricket,
The wheatstack for the mouse,
When trembling night winds whistle
And mosn all round the house.
The rrosty ways like Iron,
The branches plumed with snow
Alas! In winter dead and dark,
Where csn poor Itobln go?
Itobln, Itobln Itedhreast,
O Itobln dear!
And a crumb of bread for Robin,
Ills little heart to cheer
Abld. wllli Ma.
Abide with met Kaat falls the eventide;
The darkness deepens; Lord, with me
When other helpers fall and comfort flte,
Help of the helpless, O abldt with nil
Swift to Its dote ebbs out life's little
Earth's Joys grow dim; Its glories pass
Change and decay In all around I see;
0 thou, who changest not, abide with
1 need thy presence every passing hour
What bnt thy grace can foil the Temp
Who like thyself my guide and stay can
Through cloud and aonshbe, O abide
I fear no foe with thee at band to bless;
Ills lute nn weight and tears no blttar
Where Is death's sting, where, grave, thy
I triumph still, If thou abide with ma.
Hold thou thy crosa before my closing
Shine through the gloom and point me
to the skies!
Heaven's morning breaks, and earth's
vain shadows flee;
In life and death, O Lord, abide with me!
Henry Krnncls I.yte.
GAUDY BIRDS OF ARGENTINA.
They Abiund Titer In Oreat !tsmbin
anil Moat llrlllUnt Varieties.
The birds of Argentina abound In
great uumbcrsand variety, and they
are among Its greatest and most attrac
tive treasure. One of the peculiarities
of these birds Is their gaudy, varie
gated and brilliant plumage.
In color they are beautiful and In
songs wonderful. Let ue go to the
woods bordering the river and see how
tunny we can And. Yonder bird Is
called the "arm of Are," on account of
hla bright color. He appears to take
great pride In showing himself. There
Is the cardinal with the scarlet crest,
whlto breast nnd dove-colored back,
nlso the yellow cardinal with yellow
body nnd black crest. It la so named
because Its crest resembles the car
dinal's lint. That beautiful pink line
tlmt you see In the daintiest sky Is a
tlock of pink flamingoes. They are
nenrlng us. Now they alight upon the
sand on the margin of the river, now
pretty they arc! Listen to that exquisite
song. That Is the "bugero," a large
black bird with white beak. From tho
grassy marsh comes the discordant cry
of the heron, nnd the green parrots are
chattering In the trees over our heads.
They think their scolding will frighten
us nwny. See that lovely golden wren
crociilng up the tree, hunting spldcn.
Ho does not scorn a particle afraid of
us. Hear that awcet-volced robin.
They are much finer singers than the
robins of our country. Here we find
a dove's carelessly made nest, with two
white eggs lying on the ground. This
dove Is very small, not much larger
than a canary. That modest little gray
bird Is the bulbul or nightingale, which
keeps his sweet song for the night.
There Is n tree that appears to bo
covered with balls of cotton, but In
stead of cotton It Is a flock of magpies
suunlng themselves. They drop their
wings nnd fluff out the feathers of the
back until they resemble balls of cot
ton. They nre singular birds. One
will catch a frog and run around before
the others, apparently to tantalize
them. When they bathe they Jump
Into a pool of wnler, then out and roll
In the dust, then Into the water again.
They Impose on each other by several
hens laying eggs lu tho snmo nest.
PHOTOGRAPHS OF FREAKS.
Specialty Which I'roTea Lucrative to
Not far from Cooper Union Is a pho
tograph gallery devoted almost entire
ly to freaks. Sometimes n few pugi
lists get In there, but as a general
thing they pntronlzo a shop kept by
au ex-puglllst a llttlo farther down tho
In tho freaks' shop you will find nt
almost any hour of tho day giants nnd
dwnrfs, skeletons nnd fat men, hu
mnn pln-cushlons and sword swallow
era In fact unythlug that Is Included
In tho museum nnd circus line, on ex
hibition from 10 cents to $1, Nothing
In tho way of a legitimate freak es
capes, llut onca let nn outsider that
Is, a man whom the patrons of the
show do not consider a genuine freak
get In there, nnd ho gets no picture.
Tho photographer began with pick
ing up cbauco freaks In the circus
about ten years ago. Ho personally
Bought out freaks and took commis
sion ou tho number of photographs
sold In tho shows, Tho freak photo
grapher do n n't do that now. He
knows that ho has a facility for pho-1
tographtng freaks better than anybody
else, Just ns others excel In sporting
scenes and some In handsomely gown
ed women. Kvery man, of any good.
In every profession has his strong
point; and tlmt man's Is In posing
freaks to tho best ndvantnge.
Ills nnmo Is on pictures sold In
freak shows In New York or anywhere i
elan this aide of Han I'ranclsco. His
bank account would compare favor
ably with the bank accounts of many
fashionable photogrn pliers New York
The limit of a soldier's credit at the
canteen wns twenty per cent of his
Americans are making an effort to
establish a steel plant at Flushing, I
The proportion of policemen to pop i
ulatlon Is one to 807 In Paris, one to
408 In London and one to 458 In Netri
Amerlenn tnnrfata anntislW mend
abroad an average of $7G,000,000, and
foreign tourists leave about 120,000,000
The editor of a weekly newspaper In
Australia offera himself as a prize to
the woman who WTltes the beat essay i
on the duties of a wife.
Gooso quill pens and drying pow-1
ders arc still used In English law courts
and the House of tarda and In til j
French Chamber of Deputies.
John Stuart Mill was studying Greek
at three, bad practically mastered tboi
language at seven, and a year later
waa acting as schoolmaster to hit
younger brothers and sisters. John
Ituskln actually produced n manuscript
work In three volumes before be reach
ed his seventh birthday.
In Haroldswlck, In the Snetlands, a
whalebone viking drinking bom In
good condition wns found recently In
a grave that contained human bones,
together with those of horses and dogs.
The grave Is probably that of a sea
king, burled with his horse nnd a dog
In the time of Harold Harfagr, one
thousand years ago.
A pre-hlstorlc town near Adlcban
a liar, India, proves to have been of
large size, and promises to yield an
extraordinary variety of Interesting ob
jects. More than one hundred acres
have been reserved for explorations,
and the remains nre found considera
bly beyond that area. About 1,000 cu
rious objects of bronze, Iron and pot
tery havo been unearthed already, to
gether with aeven ova!-haped orna
ments of pure gold.
TOO MANY EVAS AND TOP8IES.
Tb Oreat Itemenyt's Hzperlence ml
an Unci Tom'a Cabin l'la j.
It waa while playing a concert en
gagement In the lumber town ot Man
istee, Michigan, that Itemenyl first saw
a performance of "Uncle Tom's Cabin."
At the hotel he met tho enterprising
manager of this multiple Topsy-Marks-Eva
aggregation. The manager
treated him with the most genial pro
fessional courtesy. He placed at his
uso one of the two tiny, lace-curtalned
boxes, which were the awe and pride
of the theater's patrons.
The parade of blood hounds, the
donkeys, and perhaps the brass baud
that mangled Sousa'a music with audi
conscienceless exhilaration, excited the
curiosity of Remenyl. He consulted
with other members of his company,
and It was at last decided to begin
the concert sharply on time, cut all en
cores and to have carriages In wait
ing to convey them hurriedly to the
theater at the end of the concert pro
gram. The manager of the theater promised
"to hold the curtain" for so distinguish
ed a guest. And thus It was that the
great Hungarian violinist was enabled
to witness the great American classic.
The concert audience was inclined to
resent the rush until It became ac
quainted with the reason, and then was
generous In forgiving.
Tho Uncle Tom actors worked right
on their mettle. They did their best
"to hold the mirror up" to their Idea of
nature, but the double reflection rather
mystified Remenyl. It took him some
time to fathom the philosophy of twin
Evas, Markses and Topsys. The tears
ran down hla cheeks when Era died.
until he suddenly remembered the other
Eva who had appeared earlier In songs
and dances. With a puzzled air be
turned to one of his companions and
asked how they were to manage this
dual personality under such trying cir
cumstances. The friend replied that
the other Eva had probably washed up
and gone back to the hotel nnd would
take her tum at the "gates ajar" the
Later when Itemenyl met the flushed
and happy manager in the hotel olHce,
he said thoughtfully; "Americans are
very enterprising. They believe In
having all they can of a good thing,"
Hints riant Trees.
An old time Arizona woodchopper,
according to the Indianapolis News,
says the birds have planted thousands
of the trees now growing all over
Arizona. These birds have a habit of
burying small sedds In the grounds
with their beaks, and they frequently
bury large numbers of the small pine
nuts In the ground, many of which
sprout nnd grow. Ho was walking
through the pines with nn eastern gen
tleman a short time ngo when one
stuck Its bill Into the ground and
quickly flew away. 'When told what
had happened the eastern man wns
skeptical, but tho two went to the
spot nnd with a knife blade dug out a
sound pine nut from a depth of about
nn Inch and a half. Thus It will be
seen that nature has her own plan for
Largo St Louis llotol.
The Bonaparte Hotel nt St, Louis will
bo the largest hotel In the United
States, and Its opening will bo simul
taneous with that of the big exposi
It sometimes happens that the man
who has a wife and an automobile has
two unmanageable things on his hands
A rami who Is looking for troubl?
can usually find It without trouble.
SUPPOSE AVE SMILE.
HUMORCUS PARAGRAPHS FROM
THE COMIO PAPERS.
rieasinl Incident Occurring: lb
World Over- Haylngathat Are Cheer
ful to (lid or Young-Funny Hlo
Horn that Uverytiody Will Jlnjoy.
Mother I don't hear the canary
singing this morning, Oaten. Is ho In
a good humor?
Osten No, mamma, I think he's In a
Mother You do?
Osten Yes, the Persian cat swal
Then He Kan.
"George, you don't love me any
"Oh, yes, I do."
"Then, George, yon have been de
ceiving me. Last night you snld it
was Impossible to love me any moro
than you did."
"Well, er confound It. then I don't"
"Oh, George, how can you! Itoo
hool" Oettlnic On,
Well, Tommy, how nre you getting
on nt school?"
"First-rate. I nln't doing so well as
some of the other boys, though. I can
stand on my head, but I have to put
my'fcet against the wnll.' I want to
do It without tho wall at all." runch.
"Ma," walled the small boy, "I've
lost two teeth, a lock of hair, scraped
my shins and tore all my clothes up."
"What have you been doing, sir?"
demanded the angry womnn. "Tell the
"Ob, well. It's not so bad. I thought
you'd been playing football."
A Lone-Kelt Wnt.
Casey 01 see there'a bin another
railroad wreck due to an open awttch.
Cassidy Ay, 'tis a pity some wan
don't lnvlnt a switch thot'll stay shut
whin Its open. Philadelphia Press.
Ernie Some learned professor tells
us that sunspots cause people to lose
Ida I don't doubt IL I saw several
girls the other day who were mad as
hornets because they had freckles.
"Tis love that makes the world go
round," whispered the pretty girl as
she nestled closer.
"Yes," sighed the young man as he
glanced at the time, "and It seems to
make the hands of the clock go around.
"Did you ever see a chimney
sweep?" asked the solemn man with
the black cane.
"No," responded the conductor of
the car, "but I've heard a college
A Clear Conaclence.
"You aro accused of running the end
of an umbrella In this man's eye. Are
you guilty or not guilty?"
"Not guilty, your honor; the umbrella
doesn't belong to me."
No LanKhlua; Matter.
"I thought you would surely laugh at
that little Joke," said the humorist, as
the editor solemnly glanced at the
"Not me," rejoined the man behind
tho blue pencil, "I never laugh at an
. Cramy Enough.
I "Yes, If I do say It," said the con
ceited fellow, "she's crazy for me."
i "How unnecessary," remarked Miss
Bharpe, "you don't require any assist
ance In that direction." Philadelphia
I Two of a Kind.
I "A man needn't be afraid of light
ning so long as be can see It approach
ing," said the would-be humorist.
"Same way with a bullet," observed
the solemn party with a far-off look In
hla off optic.
"And after the elopement," he whls.
pered, tenderly, "we will go to light
"Lighthouse keeplngl" she echoed.
Innocently. "Then all we'll need will
be a big lauip.'
Julia la Clementine really so Intel
lectual? Aurella Oh, yea; she never can tell
you a thing any other woman haa on.
"Papa, what Is alimony?"
"My boy, It li the price let on a
"What Is tho dlffcrenco between ms
nnd n prisoner nn n pirate ship?" asked
tho man who was placing boards along
tho slippery stono walk.
"(llvo It up," responded tha other
"Well, I hnvo to plank tho walk and
he'd hnvo to walk the plnnk."
Teacher Where Is your brother this
Tommy lie fell In n barrel of elder
and hurt himself.
Teacher How could cider hurt him?
Tommy It wns hard cider, ma'am.
What the Hntnsly llachslnr Bays.
".Mamma," asked small Floramay,
"what la 'slnglo blessedness?'"
"Single blessedness, my dear," re
plied tho knowing mother, la a "bou
quet that n bachelor throws at him
self when h wants to marry and
A Ilrlalit Thought.
"Yes, ma'am," said tho obsequious
grocery clerk to Mrs. IlrldVy, who was
ordering her first bill of supplies, "I've
put down parlor matches; what nextr
"Well er I supposo I ought to
havo somo kitchen matches, too,
Teacher What Is this word?
Tommy I don't know, ma'am.
Teacher What docs a gentleman re
move when he enters a house?
Tommy Well, It ma Is awake pa
removes his shoes.
Angry Patron (to waiter) Ilerel
Take away this lobster. Why, It's as
old aa I am.
'Did you hear about Lover? Went
fast to sleep while speeding In his au
tomobile." "Yes, and he slept like a top."
"How was that?" ,
"Ah, this spring chicken Is a tooth
some morsel," said the sweet singer.
'Excuse me," said tho comedian
boarder, "but It cannot be toothsome."
"Because chickens have no teeth."
Aa Unreasonable Request
Wife (timidly) Can you let me have
a dollar, dear?
Husband (testily) No, I can't
Haven't I Just spent $2,300 on an auto
mobile? There's Somtthlns; In th Wind.
Bhslllntr the Parqnst.
"How was that play, The Fall ot
"Great! The shells fell among the
"You don't say I"
"Yes, the gallery boys were eatltf
The Abiont-Mlnded naar.
She My sister Is coming out next
He How long was she sent up for?
Perhaps lie Was.
"Who was that young man hugging
you last night?" asked the girl In the
new fall hat
"Oh, he Is a book agent," responded
"Looked to me more like a press
"How," asked the very young; man,
can one tell when love Is only Pla
tonic?" "When It develops Into the other
kind," replied the charming widow,
"one can look back and see the differ
It All Depends.
"How gratifying it must be," said
the sentimental youth, who bad tha
matrimonial fever, "to be the owner
of one's own little home."
"Yes, It's gratifying enough, I sup
pose," rejoined the man who had Just
failed In business, "but It's a whole
lot safer to havo ono's wife own It"
Old aa the Scissors.
"Telegraphing without wires la no
new thing," remarked the gray-haired
"It Isn't, eh?" queried the drummer.
"Not by a Jugful," continued the old
mau. "Why, sir, when I published a
newspaper forty years ngo I got near
ly all my telegraph new that way."
Von Blumer "I had the most singu
lar thing happen to me the other day.
Did you ever go Into a man a place to
pay a bill you owed him, and And him
Planklngton (emphatically) "Ne,
sir. Did that happen to you?"
"It did. I bad a notion, or rather 1
nerved myself up to It, to settle up
some bills that I owed. So on my way
form the office I dropped In to see
"And he was out?"
"Correct. Then I tried my grocer."
"He was out?"
"night. Plenty ot shopmen, but no
proprietor. Of course.I left word that
I called In to eettle up, but wanted to
see the proprietor first. Dispute about
bills. Do you twig?"
"Ob, yes, that strengthens your
"Exactly, Then I called to ae my
butcher, and I'll be banged If he wasn't
"By Jovel but you were, In lackl"
"No I wasn't."
"When I got home I found them all
waiting for me."
"II that's U, we aro In tlio same boat,